THESE AWFUL DREAMS

I am walking with her
She is bothering me again
With her defensive lies
Trying to make up more lies as she goes along

Aman I know in real life
A JapANESE
The nicest person on this planet
With a master's degree in meditation
And peaceful co-habitation
Or something like that
And works as a chef in an ordinary cafe
Cooking not Japanese food at all
But making whatever
Eggs and pasta etc

Can't get a job in his field
Because the field where the word peace or calm or meditation
is included is hard to find
If he had a degree in war making
There will be plenty of jobs for him
But I see him in my dream with this evil
Face lying bitch

He tells me that now he is a waiter in an underground so called club
Which is not a club at all
But is a prostitution den
Where illegal drugs are being sold
And all kinds of money making deals are being made

Why would you even consider that job?  I ask him in my dream
And he says, he tells me that he had no other option
Actually he never knew that illegal stuff was happening in that dingy bar/club
And he also told me that the lady who was walking with me
Is involved with all those activities
Knows lots of awful men
Involved in all kinds of hanky panky
And I should be careful

I don't remember the woman
And how do I know her
And how does she look like
But I, (In my dream think that I do know her)
But I can't place her neither in my dream nor this morning

Some one told me not to watch TV before I sleep
But I hardly ever watch TV
Never watch the news before i  sleep
I only watch BBC
Well that is something
It doesn't tell  you about local  murders and killings
its much more classier than that
It tells you about international disasters
Big, big disasters
Like the Tory leaders coming back and Republicans
Coming back
And planes crashing
I was surprised they didn't tell us about the fire in the East Village
I guess 2nd Ave in the East Village wasn't worthy of international news
When there is a big fancy hotel there where the burnt down buildings
Were than it will be international news
'Which celebrity went where?"
Kind of news

But some how I don't dream about BBC at all
My dreams are not so coherent as the BBC IS

But I digress
Where was I in my awful dream?
Oh! yes, the lady, the mysterious lady, Mata Hari
So the Japanese waiter was telling me
That the activities take place in that underground
Drug den are horrifying
And men who come there are also horrifying
But he said, very many important men from all fields
Are involved
And many women from all those so called sophisticated backgrounds
Are also involved

During the day time
They work in reasonable professions
Or they tell you that they work in reasonable professions
But there names are not real
Their names are fictions
Their names are not their real names
They mingle with ordinary, clean people to find information

Thats very confusing I said, "What kind of information are they looking from clean people."
"What kind of information the clean people will have about the criminals and drug dealers?"
And he said, "Doesn't matter. thats how it is, thats how it works."
He said, 'All the corrupt people and really dangerous people are in that club."

I said to him, "Oh1 my god get out of there fast."
And he said, :And you should never mingle with her."
"Who?"
I said
'The lady"
He said
"Which lady?"
I said
"The woman you know."
He said
"I don't know any such woman"
I said
"Thats what you think."
He said
"You are surrounded by people like that."
He said
"I am surrounded by no one, I am usually alone, I am so alone that it is trifling."
"ONly in my dreams I know people, people of all kinds. murders, killers. drug dealers, critics, authority figures, one who can control me, one who can hurt me, one who can destroy me, one who can
totally control me, one who can just paralyze me."

During the time when I am awake, when they call it, "A DAY" I am always alone
Neither with a lady nor with a gentleman…..
Its a lonely society we live in…..
I said
"No, Its not a lonely society we live in.  Only the clean people are lonely.  If you got involved with
The big picture, you will never be lonely."
'You will be so busy stealing, hustling, cheating, scheming, manipulating, lying that you won't have a moment to think that you are lonely."
"Lonely people have nothing to do, nothing to hold on to, no job, no income, no friends, no deals
because they are clean and no one thinks that they are worth hanging around with….
So its a wishful thinking for you to be with people who gather around you in your dreams
The ones you actually avoid i your real life.  Its you who don't want to be with them because you don't know who they are…..They have never been up front or honest with you in their dealings."
He said

'if they have never been up-front or honest with me why would I like to have them with me in my dreams?'
I said
"You have no control over your dreams.  Your sub-conscious in which all these unresolved bad elements live appear to confront your conscious while you are sleeping."
He said
What a waste of energy and conscious and un-conscious and sub conscious, whatever you call it
Why can't one just sleep?
Sleep peacefully for a few hours and not think of any thing or anyone."

'BECAUSE YOU ARE ALIVE
ALIVE STILL.  wHEN YOU ARE DEAD, THEN YOU WON'T THINK AT ALL
WON'T THINK OF GOOD AND BAD
hAPPY AND UN-HAPPY
SUCCESS OR NON SUCCESS
MISERY OR POVERTY OR RICHES
OR SNAKES OR RABBITS OR FLOWERS OR THE DRUG DEALERS
NOTHING, YOU WILL THINK OF NOTHING BUT SINCE YOU ARE ALIVE YOU HAVE TO THINK OF THE LADY, THE LADY YOU WERE WALKING WITH WHEN I SAW YOU
yOU HAVE TO SERIOUSLY THINK OF THE LADY, THE LADY IS DANGEROUS, THE LADY WILL DESTROY YOU.  BEWARE OF THE LADY, BEWARE…BEWARE…BEWARE…"

Then suddenly he disappeared
I woke up
I was so hot
I was sweating
I couldn't breath
Now I am awake
And now I have to think of some lady
Some lady who will destroy me in my real life…………….
How awful……..how very awful
I don't know any lady at all
Who should I be aware of?
Who?