" AS IF SOME PAIN WAS DEADENED."
"I WOULD FORCE MYSELF TO WANT SOMETHING, HOWEVER HARD IT MIGHT BE."
DURAS
"LOVE": BS
She was quite miserable and nasty with him
And he was willing to tolerate all that in the name of love.
He came across terribly needy
And she seemed un-grateful and unkind towards him though he took care of her single handedly
while she was recovering from all the injuries which she suffered in war zones taking pictures
of others, dead and dying...
The bottom line is that she didn't love him, period.
He needed to understand that and end the relationship
But he didn't...
Because he loved her.
---------------------------------
APATHY: BS
"I WANT TO BE EXACTLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE." DURAS
---------------------------------
"IT'S SO HARD TO FIGHT THE APATHY." DURAS
-----------------------------------
"TRY TO FIGHT THE APATHY." BS
Just be more mobile
More social
Go out and be with people or just watch what they do or behave without expectations of
any benefit or any real results.
Go out to events, readings...
Just to be out and about...
Do not expect any kind of favors, help or love
Not even any respect...
You won't find respect...
That's for sure...
The world is too busy for that.
You better respect your self
Every minute, every second, every day of the month, every day of the year.
Just be above your wants and be productive nevertheless.
----------------------------------
MISERABLE: BS
Many men in NYC looks miserable.
Maybe they are not...
But they look miserable.
Ugly as well...
And so much talk of sex is around...
Who wants to have sex with them?
Maybe that's the reason women have started to make their own choices to be with their own sex.
------------------------
TALKING AND LISTENING: BS
I don't want to see people any more
Because I like to talk and they don't listen.
They are mostly pre-occupied with themselves and with their phones...
I do theater
In theater, you have to talk and you have to listen...
You can keep looking at the screen of your phone and not listen what another actor is saying
But that scene will last for a very short time
Unless the whole play is about peole just staring at their phones for 90 minutes...
and I haven't seen that play yet.
I can't stand it when people don't listen while someone, their so called friend is talking to them...
neither in person or in the theater. In the theater you would be considered a terrible actor who is ruining
the scene for the other professional actor as well and thus ruining the entire play.
Life is very much like theater
Only when people are civilized, respectful and enjoyable.
It's very humiliating to go through that when you meet people who are just not interested in you and
whatever the hell you are saying.
Why meet them?
Thats the most important question...to be asked
Ask yourself before you go out to socialize...
"Are you going to talk while no one is listening?
No. Not if no one is listening.. as they are deaf and dumb persons.
No one is listenuing, why are you talking?
I like to talk
Talking to whom?
Them
Them? they are not listening, stop talking...
Should I just sit there as a deaf and dumb person?
Why be there?
That's the question...
Ask yourself that question before you go out to socialize...
That is a very important question
I am right now asking myself
I am asking and I am asking...
And I have decided finally not to go out, not to socialize, not to humiliate myself...
NOT TO GO THROUGH IT. THATS ALL. THATS ALL I HAVE JUST DECIDED.
---------------------------------
WORK: BS
If you had a very strong will power and love of your work,
actually respect for your work,
You could live without people for a very long time...
-----------------------------
PEOPLE: BS
People are not bad
People are nice
People are open to have intersting conversations
People actually have time
People are very intersting ...
WHERE ARE THEY?
------------------------------
CHILDREN: BS
Children will talk to any one
And are always ready to listen...
---------------------------
CHILDREN IN THE 3RD WORLD COUNTRIES: BS
Children in the third world countries are freer
than the first world children.
The first world children have been made afraid
of strangers by their parents.
It's very wonderful to protect your children but every one is not a dangerous stranger
But in the first world if any one looks different than the child, that child is afraid of that person
Because he/she was told to be that way.
It's good
and bad
For certain skills to be developed by the child
When he/she become an adult, has fear of everyone who looks different.
In the third world, children talk to people, everyone looks the same,
They play with other children and respond to other children's parents
Most of the families with children know other families with children...
Hot countries, children play in the streets.
Many people are poor and they can't afford luxries
They come out of their poor homes and have fun with orher children...
In the first world, more luxurious living, creates more fear of the poor looking people
And of the one who looks like a stranger especially immigrants who always look like starngers..
Parents have frightened their children of the, "OTHER"
Everyone is an, "OTHER", "STARNGER" "ODD LOOKING" "DANGEROUS"
Just like the first world govt's and media of the first world has frightened their people
about, Muslims and their religion...they have labelled them terrorists.
Their children are frightened of everyone.
When they grow up, they decide that everyone else who looks different is inferior, dangerous and to be
feared. Like their goverment is always afraid of the, "ENEMY" and is willing to eradicate that enemy
at any cost. Sad! isn't it? Rich, previliged and afarid. Poor have nothing to lose. They lost everything
at their birth.
---------------------------
SOLITARY; BS
Are people solitary because they have no one to talk to or are they because they don't want to talk to
anyone?
thus have become solitary?
But the sad thing is that they have no idea that they are solitary.
---------------------------------------
"INVENT: DURAS
"I invent people and I talk to them.
Since I have no friends--
I invent enemies.
I talk to the enemies.
I insult them." Margurite Duras
------------------------------
"CONVERSATIONS: DURAS
"Some times I have conversations on my own---
Not that I talk to myself--
But I imagine people---
I invent people...
I like conversations." Duras
______________________
"People are not good at happiness." Duras
"No, I have nothing to go for." Duras
______________________
"At 6pm--one longs for something." BS
"Do not agree to do anything every one asks." ?
"Do not accept all the worst things which come your way." ?
_______________________
"If you think of other people, that means you have plenty of time
to do that...and it's not the best kind of time." ??
____________________
"Must persist in this slavery." Duras
_______________________
"For me the most important thing in the world is to have no controlling person near me...
I hate subservient people and when you are being controlled, you become subservient
and stay that way.
I have experienced that kind of control all my life.
And now I have removed it from my life at the expense of having no career, no money, no social life,
but at least I am not subservient to any one ."
_____________________
"It's all how you frame what you have."
"See possibilities instead of problems." ?
_____________________-
"TWO MOST IMPORTANT ELMENTS TO LIVE."
POWER
AND
WEALTH
Sexual harrassment?
What?
Where?
When?
In the office silly...
Then what happens?
What happens?
Where?
When?
After sexual harrassment..what happens?
They get caught
And?
They get fired...
And then?
They go out to eat...
They go out to eat at their favorite, elite, rip off, expensive restaurants...
They have millions of dollars...
And then?
Then when?
After they eat at the rip off restaurants?
They go to the Hamptons...
And then?
They do more sexual harrassments...
Wow...
Yes,
Wow...
POWER OF WEALTH
AND
FAME
TWO MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENTS TO LIVE.... ??
------------------------------
"People are very rushed and standoffish." Duras
"You want to talk and be listened to so badly
that it can produce a feeling of an illness." Duras
____________________
"It's not for nothing...
It's strength
Your inspiration in the past.
Your tremendous work.
It's you who did all that. You forget...but don't.
You are not a strange new person all of a sudden...
You are the same person who did all that...accomplishments in the past are yours and only yours alone.
You are the same person." BS
______________
"Nothing wrong with the culture---
It's just not mine." BS
___________________
"HIs wife was Maria
But he was flirting with Claire
What a surprise!" Duras
"A crime was committed in our town this afternoon." Duras.
