"YOU"

What happened?

I lost you

I lost my previous post

It just disappeared

Just like that

Evaporated

Vanished

It was there

And the next second it wasn't.

Just like,"YOU"

Just like, "YOU"

"YOU" disappeared

What happened???????????????????

"YOU"

All of a sudden

I got bored by you.

Can't deal with you right now.

Later..........

Maybe?

Later................

Maybe?

Never..............

Maybe?

Later...............

I will deal with you

Or

Maybe?

Never............................

"YOU"

"YOU" also said that,"I don't deserve your friendship."

'YOU" were right again.

I don't.

I deserve better.

'YOU" also said that, "I was questioning your friendship."

Isn't that what you did?

Came in rage and fury to the cafe to question me...?

Not only just to question me....

To whip me into shape............

As if I was a horse misbehaving

And you were going to give me some lashes,

"Whip me into shape."

What a nice sentence....

Some times I love the English language.

'YOU' thought I will fall on my knees after the whipping and

beg your mercy............

Why/

Am I a horse?

Though I would like to be one....

I love horses

Powerful and strong

But the horse master is even more powerful

Can whip the horse into shape and still own the horse....

I am neither a horse

Nor are you the master of that Un-visible horse.............

There is no horse sweetheart

And there is no master

And there is no whip

Its 2011

The slavery has been long gone

Or has it?

Buy a person for a few dollars

And whip them into shape.......

That must be in your own imagination.........

Every one wants to own things, many things, objects,

even human beings....

Thats totally amazing

To own a human being

To make a human being into an object

and buy it....................

Whatever you buy, its yours,isn't it?

Then you can do whatever you want to do with that object

Play with it

Roll it around

Poke it

Laugh at it

Smash it if you want

Thats what every one wants

Smash everything

Everything in their way must be smashed

Whip things and objects and humans into shape...........

Thats what the power is all about

Thats what the wars are all about

Whip the animal into a civilized being

With a bullet

Better than a whip...

I guess thats the story of the whip and a horse

I will come back to another story shortly

I have to whip some laundry into a twirl

You like clean clothes?

Oh! yes, you do....

You are very clean

All clean and pure

With a sharp poisonous tongue...................

Adieu...........................

'YOU"

"YOU". said, "I was selfish."

"YOU", said, "It was all about me."

"YOU", said,"I don't deserve your friendship."

"YOU" said," I am disturbed."

"YOU" said, "You had been very good to me."

I will come to these allegations one by one and those will be my parting words to you.

I am going to start from the bottom.

That part is the most interesting ....

According to you, "You had been very good to me."

Does that mean I have been bad to you?

Or does that mean that I haven't been good to you?

Or does that mean that I haven't been as good to you as you had been to me?

Or does that mean that I have not been good to you at all?

Only you who had been good to me?

What does being good to you mean?

Being concerned for others?

Being faithful to others?

Being honest with others?

Being generous with others?

Being sincere with others?

Happy to spend prime time with others?

Being with them during their difficulties and happiness?

Helping them with some charity some times?

It's good to give charity to the ones who are less fortunate than us....

But it shouldn't make us outraged doing it....

Don't you think?

What's the meaning of charity otherwise.....

Give in the name of god and for your own blessing

And forget about it for heaven's sake.....

To remind people who are very grateful already and almost half

Bent over with the obligation and humiliation of taking....

Isn't that a reminder to the giver that he or she gave?

Does one have to have rants and outbursts of rage as reminders?

They remember.....

They not only remember, they also wish you well....

But to hammer it down their throats.....?

Might as well not give that charity at all.....

Its all nitty gritty..........................

"You did this for me" "And I did this for you"

Its not my style

Its yours

But since you claimed, "That you had been very good to me."

And completely eliminating the kindness and goodness of others

I thought was in poor taste....

And perhaps you need a reminder of how other people have been good to you....

I spend thousands of hours of my time over the years

at your store and upstairs, loving you, entertaining you, giving you company,

sharing my knowledge, my happiness, my frustrations, my ambitions, my TIME................

TIME SWEETHEART, TIME, TIME WHICH IS THE MOST PRECIOUS GEMS, DIAMONDS AND RUBIES AND PEARLS.....TIME IS MONEY AS WE ALL AGREE......YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME MAKING MONEY.....ALL YOUR TIME.....I SPEND THOUSANDS OF HOURS

AT YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR STORE WHILE YOU MULTITASKED AND MADE MONEY AND MY TIME....WHICH WAS AND IS ALSO MONEY WHETHER YOU SEE THE DOLLAR SIGN ON IT OR NOT, IT IS MONEY SWEETHEART, ITS MONEY.....SO IN RETURN OF YOUR KINDNESS AND GENEROSITY OF YOUR MONEY I GAVE YOU MUCH MORE MONEY BACK....FAR MORE IN NUMBERS THAN ANY ONE CAN GIVE......

YOU FORGOT THAT..............I GAVE IT TO YOU FOR FREE............FREE...MY DIAMONDS FOR FREE............

EVERY TIME I SPEND FOUR HOURS AT YOUR PLACE, GIVING YOU COMPANY, PLAYING WITH YOUR CHILD, I GAVE AND GAVE AWAY MY PRECIOUS TIME AND YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME?

EVERY TIME I READ A BOOK, I TALKED ABOUT IT WITH YOU. I SHARED MY KNOWLEDGE OF LITERATURE, CULTURE, ART, POETRY, POLITICS, HISTORY, WARS, THE WORLD, THE LAUGHTER, THE CONVERSATIONS, THE ENLIGHTENMENT....

I CAME TO YOUR HOUSE AFTER SIX FLIGHT OF STAIRS WHILE YOU KNOW THAT I AM AFRAID OF THE STAIRS AFTER MY FALL YEARS AGO....I CLIMBED THOSE STAIRS EVERY TIME TO GIVE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN COMPANY........THINK ABOUT IT.....

FOR THAT KIND OF COMPANY AND KNOWLEDGE PEOPLE PAY A HELL OF A LOT AT THE NEW SCHOOL.

FOR MY KNID OF TALK PEOPLE PAY A HELL OF A LOT TO LISTEN TO IN THE UNIVERSITIES..............YOU GOT IT ALL FOR FREE.............AND YOU STILL PUTTING THE BURDEN AND OBLIGATION OF YOUR DOLLARS WHICH CAN NEVER EQUAL MY GENEROSITY OF TIME ON MY SHOULDERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

WHY DID I DO IT AND DID IT ALL THOSE YEARS?

I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE

I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FAMILY

BUT YOU ARE FOR SURE RIGHT ON ONE THING...............

"YOU SAID,"THAT I AM DISTURBED."

YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

I MUST BE SO DISTURBED.

SO VERY DISTURBED.

TO SPEND THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF MY PRECIOUS THING CALLED, TIME ON SOME ONE WHO ONLY CAME TWICE TO MY HOUSE IN 10 YEARS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU RUSHED TO MY DOOR TO ENTERTAIN ME?

TOO BUSY?

MAKING MONEY?

CAN'T SPARE A SECOND AWAY FROM YOUR STORE?

TOO BUSY MAKING MONEY?

OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME AND GENEROSITY HAD NO MEANING TO YOU...

OTHERWISE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SAY THAT,"YOU WERE VERY GOOD TO ME>"

ONLY YOU WERE GOOD TIGHT?

AND I WAS BAD, BAD, BAD BECAUSE MY TIME WAS NOT WRAPPED IN GREEN DOLLARS...

SO IT HAD LIMITED VALUE FOR YOU....

AND I WAS A FOOL....

I MUST BE A FOOL TO RUN TO THE QYUEEN AT HER PALACE TO ENTERTAIN HER FOR FREE.

SHAKESPEARE WROTE ABOUT THOSE FOOLS 400 YEARS AGO AND I AM STILL PLAYING THAT FOOL WHILE THERE IS NO KING AND NO QUEEN ANY MORE.

I READ TOO MUCH SHAKESPEARE AND BECAME A FOOL FOR LOVE.

LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING.....

AS LONG AS YOU LIVE, YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND A FOOL LIKE ME IN THE GUISE OF A FRIEND AND A GREAT FRIEND TO WHOM YOU SPOKE SO HARSHLY AND SO INDIGNANTLY AS IF YOU OWNED ME AND AS IF YOU HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTON WHO YOU WERE TALKING TO...................

I AM A PERSON OF GREAT DIGNITY AND HONOR AND SOPHISTICATION AND I HAVE NEVER EVER ASKED ANY BODY FOR ANY KIND OF HELP....

WHATEVER YOU GAVE ME I ALWAYS WAS APPRECIATIVE ALMOST TOO MUCH SOME TIMES AND I ALWAYS TRIED TO RETURN THE FAVOR....

ON EVERY EID I BROUGHT YOU A GIFT, NO BIG DEAL BUT JUST A THOUGHT, PN EVERY RAMADAN I SPEND A HELL OF A LOT OF TIME WITH YOU....

YOU GAVE ME SOME LAMB DURING THE MONTH OF RAMADAN AS SUDKA AND I EVEN APPRECIATED THAT.

I APPRECIATED EVERY LITTLE THING OR BIG THING YOU DID FOR ME BUT YOU APPRECIATED NOTHING.

YOU APPRECIATED NOT MY TIME. NOT MY GENEROSITY WITH MY TIME, YOU DID NOT APPRECIATE ME CLIMBING YOUR STAIRS HUNDREDS OF TIMES, YOU DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE LOVE AND COMPANY I CAME TO YOU TO GIVE.............

YOU ONLY REMEMBER YOUR GOODNESS....MONEY, FOOD, NOT MUCH TIME OF YOURS FOR SURE YOU GAVE ME.

EVERY TIME I CALLED YOU TEN TIMES INFORMING YOU THAT I AM IN SUCH AND SUCH CAFE IF YOU CAME YOU CAME FOR NOT MORE THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES.

I NEVER ASKED YOU TO BUY ME ANY THING AT THE CAFE'S. IF YOU HAD YOUR JUICE OR WATER OR COFFE AND YOU PAID FOR IT AND INCLUDING MY COFFE....WHICH YOU ALWAYS INSISTED TO PAY....I HAD TO BE SO GRATEFUL ....EVERY TIME YOU CAME TO SEE ME IN THE CAFE, I WAS ALREADY THERE, I MUST HAVE THREE TO FOUR DOLLARS IN MY POCKET TO PAY FOR IT...MY SELF.....WHY ORDER FOOD FOR YOURSELF SND THAN ACCUSE ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SPENDING MONEY ON ME AT THE CAFE?

MANY A TIME YOU WILL SAY THAT YOU ARE COMING TO THE CAFE BUT YOU NEVER CAME, NOT ONLY THAT YOU NEVER CAME YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO CALL THAT YOU ARE NOT COMING...THOSE THINGS WERE VERY UN IMPORTANT FOR YOU. YOU WERE WORKING, MAKING MONEY. THAT WAS IMPORTANT FOR YOU. OTHER PEOPLE WHOM YOU CALLED YOUR BEST FRIEND AND FAMILY WAS NOT REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU TO BE POLITE TO CALL THEM AND SAY, HEY, DON'T WAIT FOR ME, YOU BUM....

ALWAYS SITTING IN THE CAFE'S...I AM BUSY MAKING MONEY WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE YOU POOR SLOB...YOU ARE NOT WORTH A PHONE CALL..................

BUT YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. EVERY ONE HAS A PRORITY IN LIFE.

I CHOSE NOT TO MAKE MONEY. I CHOSE TO HAVE TIME TO READ, WRITE, DRAW.

THAT WAS MY WORK. THAT WAS MY MONEY.

I WAS ALWAYS WORKING IN THE CAFE'S. THAT WAS MY STORE. EVERY TIME YOU CAME TO SEE ME IN THE CAFE, I RIGHT AWAY PUT MY WORK ON THE SIDE AND GAVE YOU ONE HUNDERED PERCENT ATTENTION.

HOW MANY TIMES YOU DID THAT FOR ME IN YOUR STORE?

WHY YOU AND YOUR WORK WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME AND MY WORK?

MUST BE...............

YOU NEVER STOPPED FOR ONE SECOND WHEN I WAS IN YOUR STORE. I HAD TO BE THERE FOR HOURS TO TALK TO YOU FOR TEN MINUTES.

EVERY TIMES I SAID I HAVE TO GO YOU WERE ANNOYED. YOU WANTED COMPANY BUT AT OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPANSE. YES YOU GOT ME A COFFEE EVERYTIME BUT TO SPEND

HOURS JUST SITTING OR STANDING THERE LIKE A STATUE WAITING FOR YOU TO FINISH WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS...I MUST BE MAD...YOU ARE RIGHT...I AM A DISTURBED PERSON.

SOME SANE PERSON WOULD SAY, TO HELL WITH THIS KIND OF UN-EVEN FRIENDSHIP AND WALK OUT AND NEVER COME BACK....

IF YOU WANTED TO SEE ME...I HAD TO COME TO YOU AND IF I WANTED TO SEE YOU EVEN THEN I HAD TO COME TO SEE YOU......WHY? WHY DID I ALLOW THAT KIND OF ARRANGEMENT? WHY? I MUST BE DISTURBED. YOU ARE RIGHT ON THAT AGAIN...........

YOU SAID,"I NEVER OFFERED TO HELP YOUR BOYS"

YOU ARE WRONG ON THAT.

I HAVE SPEND TONS OF TIME IN YOUR PLACE ENTERTAINING AND PLAYING WITH YOUR SON WHICH I LOVED BUT YOU CAN'T SAY A WORD OF APPRECIATION ABOUT THAT.

I CAME TO ALL HIS BIRTHDAYS.

I WAS WITH YOU, SUPPORTING YOU, COMFORTING YOU DURING BOTH YOUR PREGNANCIES I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL AT BOTH OF YOUR CHILDREN'S BIRTH.

I ALWAYS CAME WHEN YOU WERE HOME FOR ONE MONTH AFTER THE BABIES WERE BORN AND SPENDS HOURS OF MY TIME, WHICH WAS MY MONEY ON YOU ....

I WAS RIGHT THERE AFTER THE TRAGIC DEATH OF YOUR BROTHER...I STAYED THE WHOLE DAY, THAN I WENT WITH YOU TO THE MOSQUE THE NEXT DAY...I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU GOING ALONE AT SUCH SAD TIME...I INQUIRED ABOUT YOUR WELFARE IN THE EVENING FROM YOUR HUSBAND AT THE STORE.....JUST A THOUGHT OF LOVE AND CONCERN DOES NOT COUNT FOR YOU?

WHAT COUNT FOR YOU? GREEN MONEY? SOUNDS LIKE IT...IF YOU APPRECIATED NOTHING ABOUT ME OR WHAT I DID AND TALKED TO ME AT THE END AS IF I WAS

SOME KIND OF BUM IN-FRONT OF YOUR STORE....YOUR LANGUAGE WAS DISGUSTING.

AND YOU SAY I AM SELFISH?

I WENT WITH YOU THE DAY YOU WERE GOING FOR HUJJ AT 9 IN THE MORNING TO THE UP-TOWN MOSQUE AND I WAS WITH YOU TILL 2PM WHILE I HAD A SHOW AT 3PM AND I WAS ALMOST LATE FOR MY OWN WORK AND YOU SAID THAT I AM SELFISH..............

EVERY TIME I WENT HOME, I BROUGHT YOU BEAUTIFUL GIFTS, VERY EXPANSIVE GIFTS BECAUSE I LOVED YOU AND YOU SAY YOU HAD BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME?

WHEN YOU WENT FOR HUJJ I BROUGHT YOU A WHOLE BUNDLE OF BEAUTIFUL TAILOR MADE CLOTHES FOR YOU FOR COOL AND HOT WEATHER....

THAT THOUGHT OF CONCERN ON MY PART AND LOVE MUST BE A VERY SELFISH THING....

DID YOU EVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DID FOR YOU EVER? OR IN YOUR MAD RAGE AT THE END YOU FORGOT EVERY LITTLE THING...

YOU REMEMBERED THE MONEY YOU GAVE ME...THATS FOR SURE BUT WHATEVER I GAVE YOU HAD NO VALUE FOR YOU. BUT MY TIME AND MY DIGNITY AND MY COMPANY, NO ONE CAN PAY FOR THAT...THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH....

I GAVE YOU LOTS OF MY ORIGINAL ART WORK WHICH YOU NEVER EVER FRAMED AND PUT ON YOUR WALLS...BECAUS TO YOU YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THIS PLANET, YOU, YOUR STORE, YOUR HOUSE, GOD BLESS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BUT OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES, THEIR TIME, THEIR DECENCY, THEIR MODRSTY, THEIR HUMANITY, THEIR HUNBLE NATURE IS SO VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN NEVER EVEN IMAGINE.......................

IT WAS A FATAL MISTAKE FOR YOU TO BARGE IN THE CAFE THE LAST TIME WHERE I WAS CALMLY SITTING AND DOING MY WORK AND YOU WERE TOTALLY AGGRESSIVE AND ABUSIVE FOR NO RHYME OR REASON AT ALL.

YOU DISTURBED MY WORK, DISTURBED MY PSYCHE, SAID NASTY THINGS....

YOU WERE DEMANDING THAT HOW DARE I DIDN'T SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR AFTER YOUR UNCLE'S SUICIDE. YOU COULDN'T TAKE A BREATHER FROM YOUR FURY TO THINK THAT I CALLED TWENTY TIMES SHOWING MY CONCERN...BUT YOU INSISTED THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU I HAD TO SHOW UP AT YOUR STORE OR HOUSE.....

DID YOU THINK FOR A SECOND THAT PERHAPS I ALSO GOT BUSY, OR SICK OR HAD A JOB, I HAD TO WRITE MY SCRIPT FOR THE NEW PLAY, PERHAPS I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME TO SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR AS USUAL AND HOW COME YOU DIDN'T INQUIRE ABOUT MY WELFARE?

WHY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IT BECAME MY DUTY TO SHOW UP AND YOU NEVER SHOWING UP AT MY DOOR.

WHEN I WAS WORKING THREE TO FOUR MONTHS EVERY YEAR DOING MY PLAY HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP AT MY WORK PLACE. I WOULD ALSO WELCOME YOU WITH A KISS THAN DO MY WORK FOR TWO HOURS WITH MY ACTORS WHILE YOU WOULD PATIENTLY WAIT AND AFTER I AM FINISHED I WILL GET YOU A COFFEE.

DID YOU DO THAT/

HOW MANY TIMES YOU SHOWED UP AT THE THEATER?

AND WHY NOT?

WHY NOT?

ARE YOU MORE SPECIAL THAN ME?

WAS YOUR WORK MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?

OH! BECAUSE I HAD TO SHOW UP BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MONEY ONCE IN A WHILE AND I DIDN'T.

OH! I SEE...THE MONEY WAS FOR THAT.

I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

I THOUGHT YOU HELPED A STRUGGLING ARTIST AS A PATRON OF THE ARTS AND THAT WAS THAT.

I DIDN'T THINK THERE WERE TREMENDOUS EXPECTATIONS WERE ATTACHED TO THAT.

SUCH AS TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND HELPING YOU IN THE STORE.........

AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

BECAUSE I WAS YOUR FRIEND................

OH! THATS AGOOD ONE.

IF ONLY IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOYS HOW COME IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP YOU DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF ANY THING IN MY LIFE?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T COME AND REDO MY APT?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T HELP ME GET MY APT PAINTED?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T HELP ME GET SOME SHELVES BUILT IN MY APT?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T HELP ME THROW SOME FURNITURE OUT FROM MY APT?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T OFFER TO STRAIGHTEN OUT MY WRITING?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T OFFER TO HELP MY SCRIPT TYPED?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T COME TO THE THEATER TO HELP ME WITH MY PRODUCTIONS?

WHY NOT?

WEREN'T YOU A FRIEND?

IF YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS FOR ME IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP, HOW COME YOU EXPECTED ME TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOYS AND STORE IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP?

DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME. ONE FRIEND SHOULD BE EXPECTED OF SO MUCH AND THE OTHER FRIEND OF NOTHING BECAUSE ITS NOT THE PART OF FRIENDSHIP AS FAR AS THEY ARE CONCERNED....

SO WHY THIS EXPECTATION FROM ME?

SHOULD I ANSWER MY OWN QUESTION TO YOU?

BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MONEY....................

MONEY KEEPS COMING BACK.........IN THE EQUATION...

BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MONEY.

I WAS OBLIGED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR STORE AND I NEVER OFFRED...I AM SO UNGRATEFUL AND SELFISH AND YOU WERE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND

WHO HAD BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME...CAN'T EVER FORGET THAT.

IF YOU GAVE MONEY FOR THAT HIDDEN PURPOSE AND IF I KNEW ABOUT IT I WILL

NEVER ACCEPT ONE DOLLAR FROM YOU OR ANY ONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. NEVER. I HAVE GIVEN UP MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WHEN I STOPPED BEING A DOCTOR.

I HAVE NEVER TAKEN A PENNY FROM ANY ONE IN MY LIFE EXCEPT YOU WHICH WAS AHUGE MISTAKE WHICH WILL BOTHER ME FOR EVER AFTER YOUR OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR.

I HAVE MY PRINCIPAL AND MY DIGNITY AND MY ETHICS. I NEVER SOLD MY SOUL FOR MONEY. I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE A HUSTLE IN MY LIFE. I HATE CORRUPT MONEY. I HATE MONEY ACTUALLY BECAUSE IT CORRUPTS THE EGO OF HUMAN BEINGS AND THEY START TO THINK ONLY IN THE TERMS OF MONEY. NOTHING ELSE IS OF VALUE TO THEM, ESPECIALLY OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR TIME AND THEIR INTERESTS.

I COULD HAVE ALSO MADE MONEY AS A PLAYWRIGHT IF I SAID WHAT EVERY ONE WANTED TO HEAR AND NEVER CAME NEAR THE TRUTH AS I SEE IT.

I OFFENDED PEOPLE WHO COULD HELP ME TOWARDS MY CAREER BY SAYING IN MY PLAYS WHAT NEEDED TO BE SAID.

A PERSON OF SUCH INTEGRITY YOU EMBARRASSED EVENTUALLY BY MENTIONING YOUR GOODNESS TO ME WHICH WAS AT THE EXPANSE OF MY TIME AND MY EMOTIONS AND MY LOVE FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR CHILDREN ESPECIALLY UMA.

EVEN AFTER YOUR LAST TIME VISIT IN THE CAFE AND YOUR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR I STILL CALLED AGAIN................WHA'S WRONG WITH ME? DISTURBED LIKE YOU SAID...

BUT I STILL CALLED AND ON THAT PHONE YOU CROSSED ALL BOUNDERIS OF DECENCY. YOU WERE BEYOND HORRIBLE.

YOU SAID AND I QUOTE,"

'I WILL NEVER LEAVE MY CHILDREN ALONE WITH YOU, NEVER."

THAT IS UN FORGIVE ABL

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS, A GREAT POET AND A GREAT PLAYWRIGHT ONCE SAID,

"DELIBERATE CRUELTY IS UN FORGIVE ABL.

ADIEUE .................................

..

"YOU"

Who are you?

I don't know you

I don't know you at all

I don't have a clue about you

Are you my friend?

Are you my foe?

Are you a relative?

Are you a stranger?

Are you a long lost cousin?

Are you a neighbor?

Are you a passer by?

Are you a shadow of all of the above?

Whoever you are.....

You are for sure in the shade of a shadow....

A dark and light shadow

A hazy shadow

A shadow which is not recognizable

A shadow which reminds one of something

But of what exactly?

That's not clear

But perhaps thats the function of a shadow

Not to be recognizable....

That's why the shadows are so curious

They are there and we don't know what they are about

But they have some kind of power over us

"Power" is a strong word

Doesn't mean its all good

It can have a strange power over you

Which one wants to get rid of

But can't............

Not because one is completely helpless

But because of the lack of clarity of the shape of the shadow

Even when one wants to get rid of things desperately ...

One needs to be clear who is the person

Or the object, we are getting rid of/

Is it a quilt?

Or a carpet?

Or a chair?

Or a lamp?

Or a broom?

Or a bad mattress

Or tight clothes which don't fit any more...

But are still lying around............

Or books one haven't read

Or will never read...............

Why does one have books in the house

The books one has never read?

The books one will never read?

And the more books one keeps buying

The books perhaps one will never read...

Perhaps it's a name which intrigues one

Or the cover of the book...

Or the design

Or a sentence in the middle of it

Or just one word which reminds one of a life story

Or a word which triggers a memory of a mother/

Or a father/

Or a brother/

Or a home/

Or a verandha?

Or a tree?

The childhood tree?

Or the mangoes on that tree?

Or the honey bee buzzing......

Or the silence of a hot afternoon when every one is sleeping

And the intense heat....

And the wide awake, tossing and turning dreamer....

In the middle of the hot, sweating, dry,scorching afternoon

The dreamer dreaming of far off lands....

Always dreaming of far off lands....

Without having any knowledge of the Geography

Of those far off and far away lands

But dreaming never the less..........

That's what the dreams are about....

Dreams of things Un-achievable

Or achieved to one's utmost disappointments...

Like a friendship which one thought was great

The friendship which one thought was for a life time

The friendship which one thought was the real thing

The friendship which vaporizes in a fraction of a second....

Into a mere nothingness..........

Nothingness of a mere dot

Nothingness of a vague line in the sand

Which when the strong wind

Will erase in one half of a second

Nothingness of a friendship

Nothingness of a shadow which becomes

less distinct every minute

Are you that nothingness of the friendship

The friendship which pone expected to last for a life time?

Are you the shadow of that friendship

Or the word,"friendship" is the award you don't deserve...

You are just a shadow

The shadow now I want completely to disappear........

Because its not the shadow of any sort of friendship at all....

Its just a dark, meaningless, shadow of a bad taste left in the mouth

After eating some thing rotten.....

You are perhaps something rotten that I ate by mistake....

That's what you are....

Perhaps that's what who you are.....

"YOU" could never have been a friend

I misunderstood

You want the power of, obedience from others

The others you call, your friends,

You think that they are on your pay role...

And must behave at all hours of the day

As if they are your employees from nine to five

You think they are all disobedient horses

And you, the horse master are going to whip them into shape

To teach them who the boss is...................

How dare they misbehave?

With the boss..........

But, "YOU" got one thing wrong my sweetheart

One thing wrong

There is no boss in friendship

Friendship is not an employment agency

Friendship is the greatest gift of God

Endowed upon God's favorite creatures

A friend is God's gift

And that gift is priceless.......

There are no limitations, obligations, subservience

Attached to that gift...

Its a blessing one can't buy

Not even with the millions of dollars

And ,"YOU" thought that you bought me for the cheap sum

Of money you once in a while gave to a friend

Perhaps for the love of it...

Or to help because of the kindness of the heart

Which on an afterthought was not kindness at all

It was a calculated act of buying obedience and subservience in the name

Of friendship

But the Dollar is not the only

Sign of a friendship.....

The,"TIME IS"

The, TIME one gave you is that person's money

So by giving you that time that person gave you a hell of a lot of money

The money you can't measure in numbers....

The money which runs into billions and trillions

The, TIME no money can buy.........

,'YOU', in your drunken power of possessing

A few dollars MORE THAN THE OTHERS

"YOU FORGOT WHAT YOU WERE GETTING IN RETURN?

Love, companionship, knowledge, laughter, affection, sincere feelings

poems, amusements, company, yes, "COMPANY" in one of the most

Lonely of cities in the world

Where people die in their Apts and no one knows that they are dead...

Where people fall down in the streets and others keep walking their dog...

Where no one has the time to spare a second because their ,"SECONDS" bring them money

Do you know how much money I lost

How much money I lost by spending thousands of hours with you?

Thousands of hours over the year where it was I who came to you

Even if it was you who wanted to see me?

Because you were making money with your time

So you wanted to do multitasking

Working, making money every second while a jester

Was there to entertain you and amuse you

You never thought that their time could bring them money too

The money which they were wasting on you...

Yes, you didn't think that their time could bring them money

Why would it bring them money?

They didn't have a store like you where they could sell

The product they bought from the third world for pennies

And selling to the first world Idiots for hundreds of dollars...

Because your friend was just an, "ARTIST"

No store, no business, no dollars, nothing

Just had the ,"TIME"

And like a fool

Entertained you and loved you

Silly, naive, stupid

Maybe disturbed

Yes, 'YOU' were right

Otherwise why would this person give

The most valuable thing on this planet for free?

'LOVE" "TIME" "AFFECTION" "CARING" GIFTS OF KNOWLEDGE, BOOKS,

CONVERSATIONS, ENLIGHTENMENTS.........

People spend millions of dollars at New School to just listen to some wise guys

Who are considered smarter than others....and have some thing to teach

'YOU got all that eduction for FREE, FREE sweet heart, FOR FREE IN NYC

Yes, "YOU" were right....

This person who keeps coming to you and loving you must be disturbed....

The Western person will call this kind of a person, 'NEEDY'

But what does the Western person knows any way?

The word, "NEEDY" is their favorite put down....

They know nothing behaving that they know it all.............

Love and real friendship doesn't measure things...

Its a sweet innocent impulse of affection and sharing...

But when material expectations are added to the friendship

Or a master, slave relationship is attached to it

The thing called, "FRIENDSHIP perishes

Than its just a relationship of a , MASTER AND A SLAVE

AND WE ARE IN 2011

SLAVERY ENDED A LONG TIME AGO

YOU CAN'T BUY A PERSON FOR A FEW DOLLARS OR EVEN A MILLION DOLLARS

A PERSON IS NOT A."THING"

A PERSON IS A PERSON

A FEELING, BREATHING, LIVING, HUMAN BEING

WHO YEARNS FOR ONE THING AND ONE THING ALINE

FREEDOM, FREEDOM, FREEDOM FROM SLAVERY

FREEDOM FROM DOMINANCE

FREEDOM FROM DOMINANCE IN THE NAME OF A FEW DOLLARS CHARITY

WHICH YOU SAID, "YOU GIVE FOR GOD"

PEOPLE WHO GIVE FOR GOD ARE HAPPIER THAN YOU

WHY WOULD SOMETHING WHICH YOU GIVE FOR GOD SHOULD CREATE SO MUCH RAGE IN YOU?

GOD IS JUST BEAUTY AND AN ESSENCE OF GENEROSITY

DON'T GIVE ANT MATERIAL THINGS TO ANY ONE IF IT MAKES YOU SO ANGRY.

JUST BE THEIR FRIENDS

JUST GIVE THEM YOUR TIME

BUT "YOU" WON'T DO THAT

"YOU" ARE INTO MONEY

"YOU" WOULD RATHER SPEND THAT TIME MAKING MONEY

AND IN YOUR OWN PLACE WHILE YOU DO YOUR IRONING

THEY SHOULD BE AVAILABLE TO AMUSE YOU, EDUCATE YOU, MAKE YOU LAUGH,

TEACH YOU A THING ABOUT CULTURE....

BUT YOU WON'T SPARE A SOCIAL HOUR OUTSIDE YOUR OWN HOUSE OR YOUR STORE FOR THEM

WOULD YOU?

NO NEVER, YOU WILL BE LOSING MONEY....

A LOT OF MONEY...

BUT THOSE FOOLS LOST A LOT OF THEIR VALUABLE TIME WITH YOU........

WHY?

BECAUSE THEY WERE FOOLS.....

SHAKESPEARE WROTE ABOUT THEM

THERE WAS ALWAYS A KING AND THERE WAS ALWAYS A FOOL

BUT THERE IS NO KING ANY MORE

SO WHY SHOULD THERE BE A FOOL?

PERHAPS I READ TOO MUCH OF SHAKESPEARE AND BECAME A FOOL

BECAUSE I LIKED THE WORD FOOL BUT ONLY IN SHAKESPEARIAN CONTEXT

BUT WHEN I UNDERSTOOD THAT THERE

WAS NO KING ANY MORE

I DECIDED TO NOT BE A FOOL ANY LONGER

IT JUST TOOK ME SO LONG TO UNDERSTAND THAT

WHY?

WHY?

BECAUSE I WAS A FOOL...............

BUT I WILL COME BACK TO,"YOU"

AGAIN, ANOTHER TIME....

I AM NOT DONE YET WITH WHAT I HAVE TO SAY TO YOU

AND CLARIFY CERTAIN MATTERS

MATTERS OF UT MOST IMPORTANCE TO ME

THOUGH I AM NOT INTO NITTY GRITTY

BUT SINCE YOU ARE

AND YOU WERE

I NEED TO COME BACK TO,"YOU"

TO BE NITTY GRITTY LIKE ALL CLEVER PEOPLE ARE IN THE MODERN WORLD

ONLY THE FOOLS NEVER KNEW HOW TO BE NITTY GRITTY

THEY JUST GAVE AND GAVE, THEY GAVE ALL THEIR JOY TO OTHERS

WITHOUT BEING NITTY GRITTY,

LIKE, "YOU" DID THIS AND,"I DID THAT"

BUT SINCE I AM NOT A FOOL ANY MORE

I WILL BE BACK TO SETTLE NITTY GRITTY MATTERS....

ADIEU, MY FRIEND, OR FOE, OR THE SHADOW OF

A FRIEND OR FOE,

ADIEU ....

ADIEU FOR NOW.....................