NEW PLAY: PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE.

 "PAST,  PRESENT, FUTURE"

A NEW PLAY

BY

BINA SHARIF

copyright:binasharif 2023

STAGE:

THREE AREAS DEMARKTED BY LIGHTING,  DOWNSTAGE, OTHERWISE EMPTY SPACE EXCEPT TWO CHAIRS ON THE OPPOSITE SIDE OF A TABLE IN THE MIDDLE WITH TWO MICROPHONES ON EACH SIDE,  UPSTAGE LEFT.

Directions:

Lights going out, Music, (Arabic) coming on...30 seconds

Lights up, a woman standing,  dim lightspot on her downstage right

TIME:  PAST

The woman is holding a placard with words such as written on it:  FIRST IRAQ WAR, 1991

(She begins to recite a war poem) 

MY ONLY CHILD

(At the end of the poem, lights fade on her, Arabic music comes on. she moves to another area,

 downstage center)

TIME : PAST

Music fades, lights up, focused spot, hazy, bluish, slightly golden light

(She picks up anpther placard with words,  AFGHAN WAR, 2003

I AM SILENT (War poem)

(at the end of the poem, Arabic lament comes on, lights fade, she moves to downstage left with a placard

words written on it are:  SECOND IRAQ WAR: 2003

TIME: PAST

I

POEM OF IQRA

(At the end of her poem, Arabic music comes on, lights fade, she moves upstage and sits down.

music plays for about 50 seconds.

TIME:  PRESENT

INTERVIEW???

(A BRITISH TALK SHOW HOST JOINS HER UPSTAGE LEFT AND SITS DOWN ON ONE OF THE CHAIR AND ADJUST THE MIKE)

PAUL BARTLETT:

Thank you for joining me at the last minute on a short notice

MONA STEVENS

Thank you for having me.  (To be written)

( At te end of the scene, lights fade, Paul leaves, music comes on...20 seconds, music fades, lights come up, Mona is still sitting at te same chair...)

TIME:  PRESENT

HUMANITARIAN PAUSE

(lights fade, music comes on, music fades, James, ( both roles are being played by the same actor who previously played Paul) stands downstage center, special spot, bright light)

TIME:  PRESENT

PEACE MONOLOGUE

(lights fade on James,  a different character played by the same actor)  music starts, plays for 30 seconds, Mona takes downstage center spot

TIME: PRESENT

MONA'S LAMENT FOR HER SISTER'S DEATH

(The monologue is interupted often by bursts of music, maybe Jhouk jaoon, or Allah's names, lights fade, she moves upstage left and sits. James join her at the table upstage left.

TIME: PRESENT

THIS AND THAT

JAMES

MONA.

(Lights fade, music comes on, James leave, Mona goes back and sit down

MONA

TWO STATE SOLUTION

(James  come and join Mona)

TIME: PRESENT

ANOTHER HAPPY DAY

(Lights fade, Paul leaves, Mona moves downstage center, spot light, music fades, lights up)

TIME: PRESENT

DIALOGUE, A.K.A. TO MY MEMORY A LETTER SENT

Mona stands still for a while, trying to open an imaginary door, trie again and again but hesitate at the same time, another woman, Didi comes on singing a lament like dirge and stand next to Mona.)

DIALOGUE:

END LINE, LET'S SLEEP, A LONG LASTING SLEEP, IT'S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY.

(Lights fade, end of play)

END OF PLAY

LAST CHANCE

 LAST CHANCE

IT'S GETTING VERY LATE TO TELL YOU THAT TIME IS RUNNING OUT

DECIDE

DECIDE ON THE PREVIOUS NIGHT WHAT THE SCHEDULE FOR THE NEXT DAY IS GOING TO

 BE...

IT'S GETTING DISASTEROUS AND ALMOST A SIN TO WASTE TIME ON NOTHING...

AND THERE IS SO MUCH NOTHINGNESS AROUND

ACTUALLY YOU HAVE SURROUNDED YORSELF WITH NOTHING

SUCH A SHAME

YOU HAVE SO MUCH TO DEAL WITH 

AND THE STUBBORN REFUSAL EVERY MORNING TO AVOID REALITY AND DEAL WITH

 NOTHING, THE WASTE WHICH YOU HAVE SURROUNDED YOURSELF WITH.

MAKE USE OF THE SINGING BIRDS. YOU HAVE TONS OF STUFF TO DEAL WITH,

NOW DEAL WITH IT.

TRY

TIME IS RUNNING OT

PERHAPS I CAN TRY TO HELP YOU ONE MORE TIME.

NUMBER ONE.

WITHOUT FAIL, UP AND GO TO LAFYETTE WITH THE COMPUTER

NUMBER TWO

CORRECT MISTAKES OF THE STUFF ON SINGING BIRDS STARTING FROM THE CURRENT.

NUMBER THREE.

YEAR BY YEAR DO THE CORRECTIONS

NUMBER FOUR:

PRINT AND BIND THAT YEAR OF STUFF WHICH HAS BEEN CORRECTED.

NUMBER FIVE.

CONTINUE CORRECTING THE NEXT YEAR'S STUFF

NUMBER SIX.

PRINT AND BIND.

CONTINUE THIS WORK TILL ALL EPISODES ARE CORRECTED, PRINTED, AND BOUND.

ANOTHER AREA:

MONDAY-FRIDAY DO THE ABOVE MENTIONED WORK

SATURDAY SUNDAY READ...

TWICE A MONTH ON SUNDAYS...CLEAN APT.

ANOTHER ISSUE.

SEE PLAYS

WRITE REVIEWS

PT

GELL INJECTIONS

BICYCLE

DIET

KEEP YOUR MIND OCCUPIED WITH STUFF WHICH IS BENEFICIAL TO YOU ....

ANOTHER AREA

WRITE THE PLAY WITHOUT WORRYING WHO IT WOULD ANNOY...'

DO THE PLAY JAN 2024

THATS ALL FOR NOW.

BE A GOOD PERSON,  A SANE PERSON, A PERSON WITH INTEGRITY, A DECENT PERSON, A

 PERSON LOYAL TO YOUR WORDS AND KEEP UP YOUR WORDS FROM NOW ON...

FORGET ABOUT WHAT YOU DIDN'T DO YESTERDAY OR DAY BEFORE OR YEAR BEFORE.

BEGIN FROM TOMOROW...

AFTER ALL TOMORROW IS ANOTHER DAY....

FIVE QUESTIONS:

 FIVE QUESTIONS: TOPIC FOR INTERVIEW

(TO BE INCLUDED IN THE INTERVIEW)

INTERVIEW" A.K.A. PRESENT, PAST, FUTURE

" INTERVIEW"   A.K.A.  PAST, PRESENT, FUTURE

A NEW PLAY

BY

BINA SHARIF

OPENING THEATER FOR THE NEW CITY

JAN 11-JAN 28 2024

SET

A BIG TABLE CENTER STAGE

TWO MICROPHONES ON OPPOSITE SIDES

TWO CHAIRS FACING THE MICROPHONES

SOUND:

DURING THE BLACK OUT THE RECITATION OF ALLAH'S NAME COME ON THE TAPE.

NOTE: THIS TAPE WILL BE HEARD OFTEN DURING THE PLAY.

SCENE ONE:  (MAYBE?) ) ACTIVIST, FEMALE

IT'S AMAZING HOW SAD THEY HAVE MADE ME.

MUSIC:  RECITATION OF ALLAH'S NAME.

(On a different side of the stage, a writing table, woman is sitting starring at some pieces of paper)

SECOND SCENE...(MAYBE?)

THE EMPTY PAGE

MUSIC...ALDAMMI FALESTINE)

SCENE THREE

STRESS...(With Kevin, Terry, person of conscience)

Music...(Recitation of Allah's names?)

SCENE FOUR

FEMALE:

EVERY NIGHT, I TELL MYSELF

MUSIC:  YA DAMMI FALESTEEN

SCENE FIVE:

TIME: PRESENT

INTERVIEW:

MIDDLE EAST HISTORIAN AND WESTERN, BRITISH TALK SHOW HOST) TO BE WRITTEN

MUSIC:  RECITATION OR SOME OTHER ARABIC MUSIC

SCENE 6

TIME: PRESENT

HUMANITARIAN PAUSE...(FEMALE) 

OR

LET TE CHILDREN PLAY... PRESENT??? FUTURE

MUSIC: SOUND OF CHILDREN PLAYING AND LAUGHING...????

TIME: PRESENT

(ADD ANOTHER SCENE OF, THIS AND THAT, TE SECOND ONE...PLAY YOUR LIFE

 RHYTHEM)

IRREGULAR THOUGHTS OF A MIND, IRREGULAR

 IRREGULAR THOUGHTS OF A MIND IRREGULAR

Everything in her life was as important as the excrushiating pain, especially the physical pain.When it finally passes, she doesn't want to remember it and when the feeling comes back to her, she immediately wants to forget it.It would be wasteful to completely dwell in it. That would continue the pain for the rest of her life. Won't it? She should treat all painful memories of her life like that enormous ache one must not dwell in.

---------------------------------------

When one writes, one is quiet. Isn't it?

When one writes, one is silently sitting down. Isn't it?

When one is writing, one is not running around desperatley to calm one's erratic thoughts. Isn't it?

-------------------------------

Listen to other's angst

Eyes and ears, the faculties given to you, use them.

Listen to other's angst.

Watch the oppressed, un-fortunate human beings and do something to ease their anguish.

Observe, watch, look.

Don't tell your story

It's been told a million times

Listen to the story of others

Other's who no one listen to.

Their story has never been written.

Write it down for them.

Never to be questioned

Only to be written

Write them on your own under your own privacy.

-------------------------------

Seeking for listners to hear his story.

No one around

No one is intersted

Hurried masses don't have a moment to hear his story

Every one who has a story should be a writer, not a talker

Be a writer

Write it all down

Don't seek audience

Don't seek sympathy

Don't expect sharing your thoughts with others

Sharing is understanding

No one has the time to really understand you and what you think

They insist on you being obediently paying attention to whatever they need to say to you

Write your thoughts down

Even if there is not a soul to read them

Put your thoughts on a piece of paper

Have a pen or a pencil and a cheapest posible note book to scribble any and all thoughts which are

 occupying your soul.

Cheapest note book allows honesty

Very expensive note book will hinder your truth.

Money is a hurdle to the truth.

Go to the 99 cent store and get a notebook and you will be so free

 and that freedom will refresh your

 scribble.

Then go back to the 99 cent store and buy another note book

I hope you always have 99 cents in your pocket.

You will be lucky if you do.

Sit silently alone in a private space and write about whatever comes to you.

Don't talk to anyone on your way to that secret private space

 reserved for your thoughts.

In-fact talk to no one, silence has much more soothing colors.

Be still and silent

Thougts need peace.

----------------------------

I want to awaken my faculties

My eyes and my ears.

They have been comatosed for eternity.

Amaze your listless faculties 

and something amazing

 has to happen to do that.

Not the usual nonsensical riff raff

Find something amazing to amaze your ears, your eyes.

See a beggar on the street and feel for him

See an oppressed person and try really hard

 to free him from that oppression.

Let freedom breathe

Let dignity breathe

Let children play

Let children have no fear

Let children live

-----------------------------

Thank god after so much trauma, so much waste, 

so much loss of time, 

so much pain

The answer came to you.

Haven't you been looking for the answers for so long?

 What's the point of a long, 

lost search if some,

 kind of an answer doesn't pay any attention to you?

I hope you will stick to those answers 

sincerely and diligently.

----------------------------------

It's all absurd

Everything and everyone indulging in their intellectual pursuit 

without any sense of respect for the truth.

So sad, that this is no longer a place, 

 for the expression of truth...

It has to be laced with lies 

till it's face is completely hidden, 

obliterated, eliminated.

------------------------------------

"Last year I didn't know what to do with myself for happiness."

                                                                                     Chekhov

'Always condescending about my authorship." 

                                                                      Chekhov

'The stress of painful memories, write it down."

                                                                    Chekhov

"It was stupid, but it was good. It was fun. "

                                                               Chekhov

"No cheating clerk, 

no faithless wife

 has cheated as my fate has cheated."

                                                                                                                Chekhov

Identity Politics

 Identity Politics

I was watching a debate about Identity politics in a session of Intelligence literary debates. After one hour or even more time spent on listening to the for and against experts something occured to me which has never happened before.

My conclusion about Identity, diversity, equality, merit, gender, religion, came to a bit more clarity, (my clarity for myself) was that any one, a person or a group or an institution who can because of their gender, identity, minority status can change your life for better is bullocks,

What need to be done by that indivudal who is part of the group in different part of boxes with different kind of labels stuck on the top will be helped by those institutions, And the reason is any institution or a group trying, (Falsly or honestly) is never going to help you.

Why would any one with great deal of advantages because of many factors would lend a helping hand

towards the downtrodden? The powerful have life long advantages (Color of skin, place of birth, education, class, means, connections, sense of superiority, status, money)  Any one with those extremely important life long advantages is going to help a person or a group who suffers from none of those self powering elements.

Now the question is, should the disadvantaged person wait for an eternity for things to change when his/her box will be opened and the label will be torn into pieces, for that fake promise of diversity and help?  Just forget about it, forget about it for ever. Do something, anything for your self to improve your life and your mental health and  develop a sense of superiority. You deserve it and don't allow a single soul ever to put you down or mock your belief.

Why a person of advantage will give away their advantage to a person of disadvantage? They can keep talking but never giving and why should they? Who gives their Jewels and mansions and status away?

Disadvantage in life is like real physical disability. A person with real physical disabilty is the one who has to go to the ones who are physically able and expert to help . For physiotherapy or accupuncture or whatever else instead of waiting for the ones physically fit running towards you to lift you up.

Advantages and disadvantages are exactly like that. Limping or marathon running.

So, the person with disadvantage (Inequality of all kinds) has to look for ways, different ways, look forsomething else and if that something else doesn't work, look for another area, if that doesn't work, look towards another direction...

Look and look again...keep looking, never stop, look on your own, think on your own, search on your own...you, yourself have the capacity to find advantages for your self with lots of hard work, struggle and perseverance.

No debate, with scholars getting a big check for and against, equality, identity, diversity is going to help you. After the intellectual fake debates,  they all go for champagne lunches and your disability, your  identity, the color of your skin and your source of income hasn't change at all.

Look and learn and do. Action, no matter how little the result might be a debate with your self and is the only promise which will help you. You, searching and searching and seeking and looking is the only decision  whichwill change your position in life. 

Rest is all promises, promises, promises...false promises neverthe less.

Now get up and take care of your disability...

You don't look the same, you don't sound the same, you have no capital, no connections, and the color of your skin is darker than the white skin and before I forget, i want to remind you, the religion you were

born with, practic or no practice is also one of the major cause of your disadvantage/disabilty in life especially when your religion is so widely hated.

One more thing which stands in your way of equality or for sure in-equality is your birth somewhere else.

Darling, wake up, you have so many disabilities/disadvantages and you are waiting for them to come to you because now there is a debate about diversity and equality and human rights...give me a break...

Just get up...and look...and search...and think...and imagine. change your self, not the panel members for these nonsensical so called, "Debates." "In favor or against."  What a ridiculous joke for the idiots.

You are not an idiot, are you? Don't wait for diversity, equality, justice of any kind. Go have a nice coffee

in a nice cafe. Isn't that better than the equality you have been begging for so long...so very long.

Get dressed, wear a bright lipstick, spray some perfume on and go and enjoy the coffee.

By the way take a book of"Flowers of Evil" by Charles Baudelaire and read his marvelous poem,

 "Invitation to a voyage."

DIALOGUE, A SHORT ONE ACT BY BINA SHARIF

 DIALOGUE, A SHORT ONE ACT BY BINA SHARIF: copyright:binasharif 2023

CHARACTERS: TWO FEMALES

ZULEKHA

INJSA

DIRECTIONS:

Dim lights, Injsa enters wearing a long black dress. She stands downstage center. 

She remains silent and still for a moment. Then she tries to open an imaginary door but can't.

The door is locked.

After a few moments, Zulekha enters, also wearing long black dress singing a lament like a kind of dirge.

She stands next to Injsa. They are both silent for a ew seconds. Then Zulekha speaks.

At the end of play, lights dim, Injsa sings, lights dim to black while Injsa still singing.

End of play

ZULEKHA:

DAYS AND NIGHTS OF KARIMA CONTINUES

 TWO

I like your new drawing

It's colorful

Very colorful.

I see, you have decided to do a play

BRAVA

What is it called?

Oh! I see...

It's called,

A WOMAN OF COLOR

I love it

Love the design

Fit the title

I am sure your costume would be amazingly colorful

Fially, the clothes you have in your closets will be of some use...

Now I understand why you were saving your clothes of  many color.

Magenta, gold, red. burgundy, color of the Nile blue, shocking pink, lavender

What a gathering of color would that be?

Can't wait...

Can't wait

Can't wait...

BRAVA, BRAVA, BRAVA KARIMA...

My words were not wasted

You listened

You paid heed

Thank you

Words must not be wasted

Words are like, Time

Once wasted, gone for ever

Never comes back

And words uttered can't be put back into any mouth

Finished, done, done...

"DONE AND DUSTED." As the English say

Must learn from the English

Winners must always be the model of success...

Did they helped you with your title? 

"A WOMAN OF COLOR?"

Or it's your own creation?

My own creation

No influence of the English?

Don't think so...

Maybe of the new world, the free world...

They love to assign titles ...

I don't mind.

I love it...

IT'S A GREAT TITLE.

COLORFUL

ONLY A COLORFUL PERSON WILL THINK OF THIS KIND OF A TITLE...

CONGRATULATIONS

CAN'T WAIT TO SEE THE SHOW.

DAYS AND NIGHTS OF KARIMA ULLAH

 "DAYS AND NIGHTS OF KARIMA ULLAH"

ONE: 

I have to do exactly what I did before.

I have to live exactly how I lived before

I was happy...just like the wind blowing

I was happy before...

Now I am too much into the past

Past and its mistakes, regrets, anger, fury

about myself and about everyone else.

I have to let go

Just to the wind.

Let it be blown away

Let it disperse into the universe,

No matter how angry the universe maybe?

That's my only object

And yes, universe is also an object,

The object which can handle the fury, the rage, the anger, the pain, the misery,

The regrets, the mistakes made, hurts, suffereing, all the heart aches...

Let it go and let go.

It's all very toxic

You are putting too much toxic elements than need

You are hurting your body with toxic stuff

It's seeping through your soul

Into your bones

Into your brain

Yes, into your brain

You are becoming crazier by the minute

Put a stop to it now

Just full stop.

Period.

Enough

Some time enough is enough.

Blow it out in the wind...

With the present state of affairs

You can't absorb

Can't swallow...

Enough

Enough torture.

You are an artist

Arn't you?

I think you are

You told me so

You told everyone that you are an artist

Now live like one

You are living like a house wife

Not even a fabulous house wife

But an ordinary angry miserable house wife

Happy house wives love to cook

Love to clean

Love to cater to the husband

Do the laundry

Keep the home immaculately clean

Dust the books regularly

Polish the furniture

Polish the china

You don't do that

No, not at all.

But still you have decided to live like one who does all that.

No house hold chores, no house wife, my dear Karima

And the biggest sadness is that you have stopped being an artist.

Artists create

Artists are supposed to be liberal

Artists are supposed to be sensitive

Artists are supposed to be vulnerable

Artists throw their fury in their work work.

Their sense of being and their sense of not being, 

They  still make something out of it...all that despair

Goes into some form of a birth, birth of creation.

But you are creating fury and anger into complaints

About everything right into your boring kitchen without every cooking...

Or on the shitty phone three times a day to a different person

A famiy memeber maybe...

They are not interested listening to your complaints

No matter how just they may be...

What's the benefit?

What do you achieve out of all that?

NOTHING. A BIG NOTHING

Except the guilt and headache you feel afterward

Turn that headache into a painting

"A miserable person having a big headache..."

That will be something

People will rave about it

Now everyone avoid you

Don't complain

Paint...

Literal headche...

Migrain, may be?

"My head hurts."

You often say out loud.

Put your headache into art

Some kind of art

Any kind of art

Or stop calling yourself an artist.

Your conversations on the phone are repetitive

No one is interested in the same complaint of the Century

Your cnversations are one sided

No one is listening

No one  is on the other sid of the line

You are hallucinating

No one is listening to you

Stop it

Stop talking

Stop talking to anyone and everyone

Be aloof, indifferent, less sensitive but polite...

That works

Politeness always works.

Learn from the English

The most polite people on the planet

You are very important

And you have lots of talent

And you have very little time

Don't indulge in nonsense

Don't be so open, friendly, social...

Just be polite and sophisticated

And do your art

All alone by yourself

Your own privacy is of utmost iportance

You did it before

You can do it again...

Be aware of everything.

Be reserve

Always

Don't talk

Write...

Winning strategy...

Create something

Anything

That's your only function

You did it before

You fullfilled your creative instincts

You can do it again

Arn't you tired by the one sided rant every day?

The same nonsense of the hour, of the week, of the month

Arn'tyou tired?

Arn't you embarrased?

Arn'tyou sad ?

That you abandoned your great ability to create?

It's sad, so sad...

You got the talent

God given

Don't waste it...

Do what you did before

What you loved before...

Cherished before...

Go back to it...

Before it leaves you

The gift I mean

The talent I mean

Don't annoy your gods...

Thank them...

Buy some colors and splash them on a canvass

Buy a pen and scribble something on a piece of paper

Understand your function in life

No one understand you

But you must understand your self

Your function...

Your function is to create...

For your own benefit

For your own joy

For your own pleasure

For your own laughter

Which comes with a sense of accomplishment of doing what you love

Have you stopped loving your artistic ability?

Please don't say you have

I will be so sad

So very sad...

Be above all silly, useless headaches

Be above it

Be above it all

Be classy

Be educated

Be sophisticated

Be forgiving

Forgive everything

Forgive everyone

Forgive yourself

Yes, the most important

FORGIVE YOURSELF

FORGIVE AND FORGET.

You have thought about it many times before but haven't forgiven yourself

Do that today

Right now...

Promise that you will end this devastatingly wasteful activity today

Right now...

It's getting out of control

It will soon go so far away that it will be beyond your control

Watch it

Its dangerous

All the positive energy and instincts going into a basket of waste...

Avoid at all times this kind of behavior...

Bad for your health

Your soul

Your spirit

your well being

 

Respect the soul of an artist

And you are an artist

Say that you are an artist

Say that you are still an artist

You were once an artist

I know that

I saw your art

It was very good

You know that much at least

That you art was very sensitive, very informitive, very unique...

Save your soul

Save your spirtuality

Your art was very spirtual

It had movement

Movements, forward moving movement.

It had joy, grief, pain, pleasure, humor

Humor, the most important element in any kind of serious art...

Humor takes care of the tragic aspect of the art

And you had lots of tragic element in your art

You had a tragic life

and you dealt it with humor

Not many people are blessed wth that abilitity

With that sensitivity

You were blessed

Bring it back

You are still blessed

Bring it back,

That vulnerbilityof pain, loss and times gone by...

Try to be like yourself, like you were before 

You were happy beside your pain

You were creating something out of your loss

You were happy with and beside your loss

Inevitable loss....

That was the only difference between then and now

Now you just have pain and tremendous sense of loss

But you are not putting it into any form of creativity

That's a shame

Such wasste of precious instincts...

Every other superficial definition was the same in the past

Career, money, distance...

All was the same...

Neighborhood was the same

Apt was the same

But you were different

You kept creating

Under all odds

All those elements of obstruction were the same

What's so new that is bothering you that you stopped your art?

No new change in the circumstances

But for sure a huge change in you

And time is passing

Soon the time will stop

It won't exist any more...

It will just stop

And you will be no more....

Before that happens

Just bring your passion back

Forget about everyone else's problems

Problems which bothers you.

Problems which you think about

Without really understanding what their problem is...

You are not a psychiatrist...

And their problems should stay with them...

They shouldn't bother you...

You don't know their past lives...

Every one has a past

Every one has a problem

Don't make them yours

Thats all....

You don't know people so intimately

You don't even know your relatives intimately...

Your sophistication demand that you must have only formal contact

Formal polite relationship

No complaints, none...

No accusations, no impolite conversation of the past

Past is past

It's gone for ever

Watch out

Don't let your ability to create like you did before evaporate

And that's happening rapidly...

Under all odds and under all pressures

You shoul be sophisticated in all your encounters

With starangers and loved ones...

Don't hurt any one's feelings because once they hurt you...

All gone, all finished...

Get out of the trap you created for yourself Karima

Get out of the trap...

Its a very deep well

Which will swallow you...

Be careful

Please be careful at all occasions

At all occasions, I said

Be aware of it...

Be aware of it at all times...

Be aware...

That you are still an artist

Like you were before

Do what you did before...

Be who you were before...

I don't like the new you...

I want you to laugh with happiness

With joy

With a sense of accomplishment after the end of the day

When you finish a piece of writing, finish a poem.

Finish a drawing...

Rest is all a waste...

Don't waste yourself

You are too precious to be suddenly wasted.

Be what you were before

An artist

Who created day and night

Day and night, Karima

You created for years

During your days

During your nights

Bring those days of Karima back

Bring those nights of Karima back....

INSOMNIA

 INSOMNIA.

A HUGE PROBLEM

WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

SLEEP

SLEEP IS THE PROBLEM.

EVERY NIGHT

NIGHT AFTER NIGHT

AT NIGHT COMES THE SHADOW

TOSS AND TURN

TOSS AND TURN AGAIN

WHAT HAPPENS TO THE SLEEP AT NIGHT?

DON'T KNOW...

SOMETHING IN THE BRAIN...

BRAIN?

YES, BRAIN...DOESN'T FUNCTION

NO.

IT OVER FUNCTIONS

THE BRAIN, I MEAN

IT JUST THINK, THINK AND THINK SOME MORE

SOME PEOPLE FALL OFF TO SLEEP IN A SECOND

THEY DON'T THINK

THEY ARE SO LUCKY

WHY DO YOU THINK SO MUCH?

I DON'T KNOW THAT I THINK

BUT I STAY AWAKE

TILL MY LEGS CAN'T TAKE IT ANY MORE

MY LEGS HURT

MY LEGS GET ON FIRE...

MAYBE THYROID PROBLEM

NO

HAD A CHECK UP

ARE YOU MISSING SOMETHING?

NO ANSWER.

ARE YOU DEPRESSED?

NO ANSWER...

ARE YOU SAD?

NO ANSWER

DID YOU LOSE SOMEONE?

NO ANSWER...

IS IT THE LOSS?

NO ANSWER

IS IT THE GRIEF?

NO ANSWER

IF IT'S THE GRIEF OF LOSING SOMEONE PRECIOUS YOU WON'T SLEEP AGAIN...

---------------------------------------

SAMENESS OF THINGS UNAVOIDABLE

SAME STREET

SAME BUILDING

SAME NEIGHBORS

SAME DOGS BARKING

SAME GARBAGE

SAME DISHES

SAME DOOR

SAME BATHROOM

SAME CLOTHES

SAME FOOD

SAME STORES

SAME RESTAURANTS

SAME SHOES

SAME MOOD

SAME MEMORY

SAME MEMORY

SAME MEMORY...

----------------------

LOVE

----------

LOVE YOURSELF

HOW?

TAKE A BATH

IS THAT THE ANSWER?

YES, AND WASH YOUR HAIR.

WASH THEM

DEPRESSED? 

ARE YOU?

WHAT ABOUT MY HAIR?

SHAVE YOUR HEAD?

YOU ARE NEVER GOING TO WASH THEM

DEPPRESSED ARE YOU?

YOU HAVE TO ASK....

----------------------------

------------------

"DIALOGUE" A ONE ACT BY BINA SHARIF

 "DIALOGUE"

         

  A  SHORT ONE ACT PLAY

                       BY

            BINA SHARIF

copyright:binasharif 2021

Characters:  Two females

Zulekha

Injsa

Playwright's note:

"Dialogue" is a  memory play. Surealistic, stream of consciousness metaphorical, poetic renditions of lost moments...

Direction:

Dim lights, Injsa enters, wearing a long black dress, she walks center stage, stands downstage center.

She remains silent and still for a moment. Then she tries to open an imaginary door but can't.

The door is locked.

After a few moments, Zulekha enters, also wearing long black dress and a black veil.

While she enters she sings something like a lament, like a dirge kind and come stand center stage next to Injsa, a ew steps apart. They are both silent for a few secods. Then Zulekha speaks.

At the end of play while lights are dimming, Injsa sings a song.

Lights dim to black out while she is still singing...

End of play.

"YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE BUSY."

 "YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU ARE BUSY."

"WHAT HAPPENED?"

 "WHAT HAPPENED?"?

AND THEN?

THEN WHAT?

WHAT HAPPENED?

DON'T ASK

STILL...

WHAT'S THE MATTER

NOTHING

NOTHING?

YES, NOTHING

I DON'T BELIEVE IT...

BELIEVE WHATEVER YOU WANT TO BELIEVE

WHAT HAPPENED TO YOUR LAUGHTER?

LAUGHTER?

YES, YOUR LAUGHTER

WAS THERE EVER A LAUGHTER?

YES, YOU USED TO LAUGH A LOT AND YOUR LAUGH WAS CATCHING

I WONDER WHAT HAPPENED

WONDER, I WONDER TOO...

BUT TELL ME ...

TELL YOU WHAT?

TELL ME, LAUGH AND SHOW ME THAT YOU ARE LAUGHING AGAIN

I NEVER LAUGHED BEFORE, WHY WOULD I LAUGH AGAIN?

HONEY, YOU WERE ONLY KNOWN FOR YOUR LAUGHTER...

OH! GOOD, I WON'T BE KNOWN AGAIN. 

IT'S GREAT. I ALWAYS WANTED TO BE UNKNOWN...

"A WOMAN OF COLOR" A ONE WOMAN PLAY

 "A WOMAN OF COLOR"

BY 

BINA SHARIF

 copyright:binasharif 2023  (Dressed in the most beautiful colors with great jewellery)

I AM KARIMA ULLAHF COLOR

I AM A WOMAN OF COLO

I AM HERE TO CELEBRATE MY COLORS.

MY SKIN IS ALSO COLORFUL

NOT ONLY MY WARDROBE

THAT IS THE MOST INCREDIBLE THING

THE SKIN

SKIN HAS TO BE COLORFUL

THAT'S THE FIRST THING THE STRANGERS SEE

THAT'S THE FIRST THING THE STRANGERS NOTICE

AND DECIDE WHETHER TO ;LIKE IT OR NOT...

MOST OF THE PEOPLE DON'T LIKE BRIGHT COLORS

THEY ARE A BIT SHY

BRIGHTNESS IS VERY BOLD

MANY PEOPLE FEEL THAT BRIGHT COLORS DON'T SUIT THEM

MOST OF THE PEOPLE ARE MODERN

MODERN PEOPLE LIKE WHITE

I LIKE WHITE ALSO

WHEN I GO HOME I GET MANY DTESSES MADE, PURE WHITE COTTON, FLOWING

COOL AND COMFORTABLE AND I WEAR THEM IN THE HOT, BLAZING SUMMERS

BUT PEOPLE DON'T NOTICE MY WHITE COLOTHES, THEY ONLY SEE MY SKIN.

MY SKIN IS A BIT DARK AND COLORFUL.

THATS WHY I AM A WOMAN OF COLOR.

SINCE I AM ALWAYS GOING TO BE A WOMAN OF COLOR NO MATTER HOW I DRESS

NO ATTER WHICH COLOR I WEAR, I AM ALWAYS A WOMAN OF COLOR...

THATS THE REASON I AM PROUD.

I PROUDLY SAY THAT I AM A WOMAN OF COLOR...

BUT I DIDN'T KNOW THAT I WAS A WOMAN OF COLOR TILL I CAME HERE...

I WAS A BIT SURPRISED THAT I NEVER NOTICED BACK HOME THAT I WAS A WOMAN OF

 COLOR.

WHEN I CAME HERE FOR THE VERY FIRST TIME TO STUDY IN A VERY PRESTIGIOUS

 UNIVERSITY, I PACKED TONS OF BRAND NEW COLORFUL CLOTHES IN MY SUITCASE AND FROM THE VERY FIRST DAY OF MY SCHOOL, I WORE MY NEW COLORFUL CLOTHES LIKE I USED TO DO BACK HOME. I WAS VERY FOND OF CLOTHES AND WAS ALWAYS RUNNING TO THE FABRIC STORES AND THEN BACK AND FORTH TO THE TAILOR...

TAILORS BACK HOME ARE CALLED TAILORS BUT HERE THEY ARE CALLED DESIGNERS AND ARE SO EXPENSIVE THAT I WON'T BE ABLE TO HAVE ANY CLOTHES IF i DIDN'T BRING THEM FROM MY HOME. I WOULD BE NAKED MOST OF THE TIME.

THAT WOULD HAVE BEEN GREAT, TO BE TOTALLY NAKED, FREE, DANCING...

BUT MY WHOLE COLORFUL SKIN WOULD BE EXPOSED TO ALL THE PEOPLE WHO DISLIKE COLOR.  "OH! I THOUGHT ONLY HER FACE WAS A FACE OF COLOR BUT HER WHOLE BODY IS A BODY OF COLOR."  

SO, IN MY UNIVERSITY PEOPLE STARTED TO CALL ME, "WOMAN OF COOR."

AND I WAS SO THRILLED, I THOUGHT THAT THEY ARE CALLING ME, A WOMAN OF COLOR BECAUSE OF MY VERY COLORFUL CLOTHES AND I FELT SO THRILLED AND PROUD BECAUSE I MIGHT HAVE BEEN THE ONLY STUDENT WHO WAS SO BRIGHT AND CLOTHED IN MAGENTA, RED, GOLD, AND NILE BLUE.

sO, I STARTED TO THANK EVERY ONE FOR THEM CALLING ME A WOMAN OF COLOR...

IT GAVE ME GREAT PLEASURE THAT THEY ADMIRED MY COLORFUL CLOTHES.

IT WAS SO OBVIOUS TO ME WHY WERE THEY CALLING ME A WOMAN OF COLOR BECAUSE I ALWAYS WORE COLORFUL CLOTHES TILL ONE DAY ANOTHER STUDENT, A FRIEND TOOK ME OUT FOR TEA AND POLITELY EXPLAINED THAT BEING LABELLED

,"A PERSON OF COLOR" WAS SO COMPLIMENTARARY, IT WAS ACTUALLY DEROGATARY.

I WAS A BIT SURPRISED ABOUT HER STATEMENT BUT SHE WAS TRYING TO WARN ME ABOUT SOMETHING...SOMETHING BEYOND MY UNDERSTANDING BECAUSE I WAS ALWAYS VERY FOND OF THE COLOR OF MY SKIN, ACTUALLY EVERYTIME I SAW MYSELF IN THE MIRROR, I LOVED MY FACE, IT WAS KIND OF SANDOORI SHADES, LIKE A MIXTURE OF GOLD, WITH A TINGE OF SHADE OF ROSE AND EXOTICALY PALE...

IN MY PART OF THE WORLD, WE LACKED IRON AND NEVER TOOK MULTIVITAMINS LIKE HERE BUT OUR FACES WERE TANNED AS WELL AND THE PALENESS WAS ALWAYS PLAYING HIDE AND SEEK KIND OF GAMES.

BUT THE TRUTH OF THE MATTER IS THAT WE DIDN'T THINK OF ALL THIS NONSENSE. WE WERE VERY BUSY STUDYING. EDUCATION WAS THE THING TO GET AHEAD IN THE WORLD. BUT I GUESS I DIDN'T KNOW THAT IT WASN'T THE EDUCATION, IT WAS THE SKIN COLOR...AFTER I BEFRIENDED THE ONE AND ONLY AFRICAN AMERICAN STUDENT IN MY CLASS. HOW OULD I NOT BEFRIEND HER?

SHE WAS THE MOST GORGEOUS WOMAN iI HAVE EVER MET. TALL LIKE AN OAK TREE, 

SLIM AND SMART, INCREDIBLY SEXY AND SOPHISTICATED AND BRIGHT AND EXTREMELY PLEASANT AND FRIENDLY. ACTUALLY HER SKIN WAS MUCH DARKER AND MUCH MORE BEAUTIFUL THAN MINE. I ADORED HER. WE WERE THE BEST FRIENDS IN THAT STUFFY UNIVERSITY AND GUESS WHAT?

I WASN'T BEING INVITED TO THE FACULTY PARTIES, I DIDN'T EVEN KNOW THAT THERE WERE PARTIES GOING ON BECAUSE I WAS HAVING THE LIFE OF A DREAM.

ONE DAY MY FRIEND WHO WAS OF WHITE SKIN ASKED ME, HOW COME I WASN'T AT SUCH AND SUCH PARTY ? AND I SAID I WAS NEVER INVITED...AD SHE SAID, DO YOU KNOW WHY?

AND i SAID, I HAVE NO IDEA...AND SHE SAID BECAUSE YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH MELINDA TOO MUCH.

"WHAT'S WRONG WITH HANGING OUT WITH MELINDA?" I ASKED HER

AND SHE SAID, "OH! YOU ARE SO NAIVE, AFTER ALL YOU ARE NOT AMERICAN, YOU ARE A FOREIGNER, A VERY IGNORANT FOREIGNER FROM SOME MEDIEVAL COUNTRY.

LET ME TELL YOU WHY YOU ARE NOT BEING INVITED ANY MORE BECAUSE YOU ARE HANGING OUT WITH BLACKS." OOH...OOH...OOH..WHAT'S WRONG WITH THAT? AND SHE WALKED AWAY...

AND I HUNG OUT WITH GREAT JOY WITH MELINDA, HER GIRL FRIEND AND THEIR BOY FRIENDS WHO WERE THE MOST FAMOUS BASKETBALL PLAYERS IN THAT TOWN. THEY WERE SUPERSTARS AND THEN WE WOULD GO TO THE GAMES AND GO TO THE LOCKER ROOMS FOR CHAMPAGNE AND GO DANCING AND DANCING AND LAUGHING AND LAUGHING...I LAUGHED SO MUCH WITH THEM THAT I SPENT ALL MY LAUGHTER AND SINCE THEN I AM DESPERATELY SEEKING MY LAUGHTER, MY BLAK GIRL FRIEND AND TIMES SHE SHOWED ME IN A FOREIGN LAND AND HER KINDNES, AND GENEROSITY AND AFFECTION.

SHE WILL TAKE ME TO HER APT FROM MY LOUSY DORMOTARY CLOSET EVERY WEEKEND AND WE WOULD COOK, EAT, SMOKE, LAUGH AND THEN GO OUT TO SEE FANTASTIC BLAK MUSCIANS...DAYS OF GLORY...I WAS SO THRILLED THAT THEY GAVE ME A LABELL OF, COLOR, A WOMAN OF COLOR AND i WAS WITH OTHER PEOPLE OF COLOR WHO BECAME MY FAMILY...

WE FINISHED OUR DEGREE, ON THE GRADUATION DAY. MELINDA'S FAMILY WAS MY FAMILY...

THIS WAS MY INTRODUCTION TO AMERICA AND TO THE MANY LABELS WHICH HAVE BEEN ATTACHED TO PEOPLE AND BECAUSE OF THAT I BECAME A WOMAN OF COLOR AND FORTUNATELY ENOUGH I MET MANY OTHER PEOPLE OF DIFERENT SHADES AND DIFFERENT ACCENTS AND DIFFERENT LANGUAGES AND MANY DIFFERENT WAYS OF DRESSING AND MANY DIFFERENT EXOTIC FOODS. I MINGLED, I WAS EXCITED TO BE HERE, I KEPT BEING MYSELF, I LIKED MY SELF...

AND THEN I WROTE A PLAY. WITH GREAT PRIDE AND ENTHUSIASM I INTRODUCED MYSELF IN MY VERY FIRST PRESS RELEASE THAT I AM A WOMAN OF COLOR PLAYWRIGHT FROM SUCH AND SUCH A COUNTRY...

I NEVER KNEW THAT THEY, THE AUTORITY OF ALL KINDS INCLUDING THE ARTISTIC LIBERAL AUTHORITY NEITHER LIKED MY SKIN COLOR NOR THE COUNTRY I CAME FROM. SO THEY DIDN'T REALLY REVIEWED MY PLAY BUT REVIEWED MY COUNTRY AND MY SKIN COLOR. I GUESS THE TIMES ARE DIFFERENT NOW...I HOPE SO. THEY ALL TELL ME THAT DIVERSITY IS IN NOW. RACIST ATTITUDES ARE OUT. PEOPLE OF COLOR ARE NOW POLITICALLY CORRECT, BLACK FOLKS ARE POLITICALLY CORRECT.

I GUESS I DIDN'T KNOW THEN AND FOR A LONG TIME THAT I WAS POLITICALLY IN-CORRECT. AND SINCE DIVERSITY IS IN, I THOUGHT I WOULD WRITE ONE MORE PLAY AND PROUDLY LIKE THE VERY FIRST PRESS RELEASE SEND ANOTHER PRESS RELEASE TO THE ARTISTIC AUTHORITY TO COME BACK SINCE NOW MY SKIN COLOR IS POLITICALLY CORRECT AND IS THE FASHION OF THE DAY. I HOPE IT'S STILL THE FASHION OF THE DAY...THINGS CHANGE HERE VERY FAST...SO HURRY UP AND COME SEE THIS WONDERFUL SHOW CALLED, "A WOMAN OF COLOR." BEFORE I BECOME POLITICALLY INCORRECT AGAIN. TODAY I AM POLITICALLY CORRECT. HURRY...WHO KNOWS WHEN I WILL BECOME POLITICALLY IN-CORRECT AGAIN...

THIS AND THAT CONTINUES

THIS AND THAT CONTINUES

LET IT BURN

YES, LET IT BURN

BURN SUBMISSIVENESS.

GIVE BIRTH TO ASSERTIVENESS

TODAY, IS THE DAY.

BURN SUBMISSINESS RIGHT NOW, THIS VERY SECOND.

WEAR BRIGHT RED LIPSTICK, 

HEAD HELD HIGH AND SMILE PROUDLY

CONGRATULATE YOURSELF FOR YOUR ACHIEVEMENTS.

----------------------

ENERGY

POWER

POETRY

TALENT

COURAGE

HONESTY

AFFECTION

GENEROSITY

COLOR

RAIN

GIVING

FONDNESS

WANTING

LOVE

DESIRE

LIGHT

BRIGHTNESS

VIGOUR

PASSION

LAUGHTER

OH! YOU HAVE SO MANY FRIENDS

YOU ARE SO BLESSED

PLAY THE LIFE RHYTHEM WITH YOUR BLESSINGS

AND BRING YOUR LAUGHTER BACK.

---------------------------

THIS AND THAT CONTINUES

 THIS AND THAT CONTINUES

Play your life rhythem

Play your life rhythem

 And your life rhythem is not depression

Which begins in the morning and continues 

like, your this and that.

It continues. 

But it's not your life rhythem. 

I know it

I know you

I am your breath

You breath me, need me to breath

You have to go deep inside of me...

I let you breath

Breath is your life rhythem

And it's inside of me

You have to go deep inside of me to breath

And that breath is your life rhythem.

Play your life rhythem

BREATH...

That's your life force.

Depression is just a fashion of modern society

You are not modern, 

Are you?

Don't try to be...

Don't adapt ways which are hurtful

They block your breathing...

And your breath is your life rhythem

PLAY YOUR LIFE RHYTHEM.

THIS AND THAT

 THIS AND THAT

SOMEBODY!

ARE YOU?

I am somebody

I am a scholar

That makes me somebody

You don't know me?

Oh! you don't

Who gives a shit...

I don't give a shit if you don't know me....

I am known

Known to myself

I know myself very well

Who gives a shit if you don't know me.

Who are you any way?

I don't know you...

Oh! you are a somebody

Somebody? somebody?

 You are.

No, you are not

I AM SOME BODY

I AM A SCHOLAR

Who gives a shit if no one knows 

That I am a scholar.

I am.

I am, and I do know you

That makes you a scholar

I know all the no bodies

All the no bodies, oh!

 There are so many no bodies

I know all the no bodies posing for some bodies

I know you

I know all the ones who are no bodies

Every one here is a no body posing as a some body.

Every body is a some body here

 But no one is a scholar

I AM

I AM A SCHOLAR.

NO ONE CAN STEAL MY SCHOLARSHIP.

THE DAY IS SET

 THE DAY IS SET

UP

EXERCISE

TEA

READ YOUR NEW BOOK FOR THREE HOURS

BREAKFAST

OUT WITH THE COMPUTER

WRITE FOR FOUR HOURS

EVENING

THEATER

  GALLERIES

  WALKS...

THE DAY IS SET...

IS IT?

ALL TALK

ALL TALK

ALL TALK

SO MUCH TO READ

 SO MUCH TO READ

I wish I could go to an island with a suitcase full of books 

And carry not a single worry with me.

People own private islands.

How do they do it?

I know but I won't say it.

My apt is boiling hot 

With a lousy and noisy so called a brand new air conditoner

 Which gives me a very hot headache.

 Sleepless nights, 

Sleepless thoughts.

 Too many thoughts.

 That's the problem.

 "THOUGHTS"

"MANAGEMENT OF THE MIND."

 "MANAGEMENT OF THE MIND."

"Scavenger of wit"  ?

giving everybody pain."'Genius for mischief"?

"To be a great wit, is to take a pleasure in giving everybody pain."  Richard Savage

"Gentleman of wit and humor about town."  About Richard Savage

"I have a propensity to snear upon all mankind who fancy they can oblige me." Richard Savage

"But alas! how short lived the applause."  ?

"I am very poor and I owe my poetry to my merit."     Richard Savage

JUST THE SAME LIKE BEFORE. JAHAL. "STORY OF THE GOJRA GIRLS"

 JUST THE SAME LIKE BEFORE.

 JAHAL. 

"STORY OF THE GOJRA GIRL."

"TRAGIC STORY OF VERY PROMISING PEOPLE.

Memory

Soliloquies

Have distorted echo sounds

Inaudible

Angst

Disappointments

Not happy

Middle age

Everyone is happy when young

They all made wrong choices

Like everyone else

Life issues

They are criticizing themselves and everyone else

 For making the wrong choices

Lonely

Angry

Bitter

About life and about friends

Spreading rumors about each other

Everyone feels that they destroyed their lives

They think they took the wrnog road...

Neurotic instincts

Desperation

Regret

Unhappiness

lack of choices

"What choice do I have?"

They ask...

Recall of their youth which makes them more unhappy

They blame themselves

Blame each other more

Un-necessary rambling

What's the point of their story?

Disappointment

They believe that their present life is disappointing

 Because they made wrong choices

Maybe they did?

But what's the solution?

None. 

They have given up...

They are stuck

Stuck in their own past.

They can't undo their past 

But they can still make some healthy choices

But their thinking is not healthy

Stuck in negativity

They can still get into the right road, 

Make a right turn

But they can't

Water under the bridge...

Too late

But that's not true

It's never too late till it is

And that is death

Before that one has the freedom to make another choice

A new choice...

But that doesn't seem possible

They are unhappy

Confused

Have serious problems

Can't have a healthy relationship

Unresolved problems

Unresolved issues

Depression

Lots of blame

Lots of regret...

Very bitter

Bitter about the lack of their solid identity

Perhaps they expected a lot better?

Perhaps they expected a rose garden?

Life is not a bunch of roses

Even if it was, there are thorns attached to the roses

The thorns bite if you are not careful...

It's strange that all of them think

 That they made the wrong choices

What's the right choice?

Does anyone know?

When one is making a choice, 

One doesn't think

 Or is aware that the choice is the wrong one,

 Otherwise they won't make it.

 No one is so self destructive.

 It's always afterwards everyone thinks, 

 Especially in this case

 That all their choices made innocently were wrong.

They are all so lost

They are bombarding themselves with blame...

How do they know?

 That their lives were supposed to be different?

Perhaps this is how exactly

 Their lives were supposed to be...

But that's not how they are behaving...

They are lost

Lost and unhappy

Living in the past

Living in the glory of youth,

 passion, ambition, desire, hope...

Now totally lost

Unable to change

Unable to forgive themselves for past mistakes

Even if those were not mistakes at that time...

It's sad

Isn't it?

Sad story of the very promising people.

And that's the ,"Story of Gojra Girls."

LET'S SEE...WHAT SURPRISES ARE IN THE NOTEBOOKS?"

 LET'S SEE...WHAT SURPRISES ARE IN THE NOTEBOOKS?

What do we do while we are here?

"Think well.

Eat well

Live well

Seek out those who will nourish and challange you.

______________

Okra, ginger, Cinamon boost immunity

Spiecd couscous

Lemon juice Detoxify

Fresh lemons squeezed into ice water+ honey purifies.

-------------------------

No tomato, no potato, no rice, no beans, no milk

No meat, no beef, no pork, no chicken, no salami...

-----------------

Greens, greens, greens, greens,

 Sardines with lime-

-----------------------

One thousand time it's been written before but never practiced.

One more time...

At least write it down

 One more time.

Just one more time...

---------------

Every day do positive stuff 

And think of positive stuff

Resume your old way of life

Type from the notebooks

Walk for one hour

Healthy breakfast

Cut out bread

Have yogurt with berries

Irish cut oatmeal

Salmon

Avocado

Egg

Veggies

Greens

------------

Go to lafyette and  type

Plays or galleries in the evenings

YOU ARE SO TEETHEET, (STUBBORN)

NEVER APPLY THE WISDOM YOU WRITE ABOUT

 OR TALK ABOUT TO YOUR SELF

DESTROYING YOUR SELF WITH BOTH HANDS,

 GIVING YOURSELF AWAY TO THE WASTE

 OF THE WORLD.

 YOU ARE ADDING YOURSELF TO THE WASTE OF THE WORLD. 

JUST,

 WASTING, WASTING,

 FOR DECADES...

REMEBER WHO YOU ONCE WERE?

REMEBER?

NO, YOU DON'T REMEBER...

WHAT A PITY

WHAT A PITY

WHAT A PITY

GOD GAVE YOU SO MANY GIFTS

MORE GIFTS THAN ANY ONE ELSE

YOU HAD EVERYTHING

EVERYTHING

YOU KEPT THROWING IT AWAY

DILLIGENTLY

CONSITENTLY

NOW IT'S GONE

NOW YOU ARE BEING HAUNTED BY THE PAST

THE GOOD PAST

YOU HAD A VERY GOOD PAST

ONLY YOUR PRESENT IS TROUBLED

THE GARBAGE OUTSIDE IN THE STREET

ONLY YOUR PRESENT IS WASTED

YOU WANT TO GIVE A GIFT 

TO THE GARBAGE OUTSIDE IN THE STREET?

OK, GIVE THE GARBAGE A GIFT

THROW YOUR TALENT,

 AND OTHER GIFTS YOUR GOD BESTOWED UPON YOU

INTO THE GARBAGE...

I ALREADY DID...

I ALREADY DID

I ALREADY DID

OK, THEN ,

 SINCE YOU THREW ALL YOUR ASSETS

 IN THE GARBAGE,

 NOW IT'S TIME TO

 STOP THROWING ANY LONGER

STOP THROWING

AND KEEP WHATEVER IS LEFT FOR YOURSELF

FROM NOW ON...

FROM TODAY IT MUST STOP

ENOUGH...

EVEN THE GARBAGE IN THE STREET IS TELLING YOU,

 BEGGING YOU TO STOP BECAUSE

THERE IS NO MORE SPACE LEFT IN THE STREET...

KEEP SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF...

SOMETHING FROM THE ONES,

 THE LOVED ONES WHO HAVE GONE AWAY LIKE

 YESTERDAY

KEEP SOMETHING FOR YOURSELF AS A MEMORY...

NO MORE THROWING GIFTS OUTSIDE

NO MORE GIVING YOUR GIFTS TO ANY ONE EVER

KEEP THEM FOR YOUR SELF...

WHEN YOU CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT,

 HUG YOUR GIFTS CLOSE TO YOUR HEART,

 THE

 MEMORIES, 

YOUR MEMORIES ARE THE GIFT.

HOLD THEM TIGHT, 

DON'T TRY TO SLEEP

NEVER TRY TO SLEEP,

 COUNT YOUR MEMORIES,

 SAVE THEM IN YOUR MIND LIKE YOU

 SAVE YOUR SAD WORDS ON THE COMPUTER...

I AM NOT SO GOOD WITHE COMPUTER.

 I SAVE MY DAYS GONE BY

AND THE NEXT DAY

 THEY ARE DELETED...

I CAN'T FIND THEM

YOU MUST HAVE TOUCHED THE DELETE BUTTON

NEVER, NEVER DO I TOUCH THE DELETE BUTTON.

I HATE THE DELETE BUTTON...

THAT'S WHY I CAN'T SLEEP AT NIGHT,

 TOO MANY SAVED THOUGHTS, 

TOO MANY

 INTERRUPTED MEMORIES 

WHICH I SAVED

 BUT CAN'T FIND THEM,

 ESPECIALLY THE

 COMFORTING MEMORIES,

 THEY ARE ALL DELETED 

WITHOUT ME TOUCHING THE

 DELETE BUTTON.

 NOT GOOD AT TECHNOLOGY.

------------------------------------

MENTAL HEALTH

Forget about a few people

Get rid of the bad feelings 

No matter what bad they did to you

Forget about all of them

Have relationship with sincere folks

Or have no relationship at all

Don't think about people

Don't talk about people.

----------------

CAREER

Don't think about it

Don't talk about it

--------------

Write a new play

You are a writer

Then write

If you don't write

Then you are not a writer

Then don't call yourself a writer-

-------------------

LISBON

Take care of the B in Lisbon

Take care of the bitch in Lisbon

(I wonder who she is?)

No idea what so ever...

Never been to Lisbon

Never met any one from Lisbon

Who is the bitch from Lisbon

I just made her up

There must be at least one bitch in lisbon

I have to take care of her

I have to get rid of the bitch from Lisbon

--------------------------------

Get the apt in order

(That will never happen, sorry.)

----------------------------

Paint on small canvases

----------------

"Getting across a profound idea in a brisk and amusing way

to an interested friend by stripping it down to its essence."   J Holt

-----------------

CHIEF CONCERNS

"How do we conceive of the world? (Metaphysics)

How do we know what we know? and do?  (Epistemology)

"How we conduct ourselves? (Ethicks)

-----------------

Improve your blog.

Learn computer (That will never happen)

Attachment

Dragging photos to the article

PDF

Cut and Paste

Putting reviews from Hi Drama to the blog

Forget about it

Just forget about it

Do something better with your time

Think, walk, laugh

do not come near the machine

It will take all your humanity away.

Look at the people who are staring at the machines...

Do they look like hiuman beings?

Machines have made them their companions

They no longer want to have a conversation with humans.

-------------------

NOVELS (Work in progress)

DAYS AND NIGHTS OF ZULEKHA

DAYS AND NIGHTS OF KARIMA ULLAH

TO MY MEMORY A LETTER SENT

MANHATTAN DAYS

MANHATTAN SPLEEN  (Collection of writings)

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF SINGING BIRDS

MY CHEMICAL MOMMY

-----------------

See as many plays as possible

Go to the readings

Do readings, (Where?)

Museums

-------------

DRESS BETTER

--------------

MAKE PRINTS OF THE DRAWINGS

GET CARDBOARD AND SLEEVES

TRY TO SELL

HAVE YOU EVER SOLD A THING IN YOUR WHOLE LIFE?

ALL TALK, ALL TALK, ALL TALK

HAVE WRITTEN THIS A THOUSAND TIMES ALREADY

NOTHING WILL EVER BE PRACTICED

TRUST ME...

---------------------

"THE WAY HE PLAYED IT."

 "THE WAY HE PLAYED IT."

"WAITING TO OPEN THE DOOR."

 "WAITING TO OPEN THE DOOR."

"Which special moment are you waiting for?

Just go ahead and open the door.

Just open the door and enter."

It's nothing to do with talent...

It's about opening the door to certain buildings.

It's how you enter the building...

The skill to open the door and enter the building which houses a grand theater

which houses a grand gallery.

Then become a resident of that building.

Thats the talent...the reall talent

Abilty to open doors...

All doors.

Step in

Somehow...

Just open the door and step in

And stay there

Do not leave.

"SO WHAT HAPPENED?"

 "SO WHAT HAPPENED?"

I have no idea

Not the slightest idea, I tell you.

But I don't like it.

Something has changed 

And I don't like the change.

I am now deliberately isolating myself from everyone.

"Who is everyone?"

"I don't know."

"Was everyone there for you before?"

"No, not at all."

"So?"

"But I was there. I was there for everyone.

And now I am not."

"Perhaps that is good for you."

"It's a bit scary."

'Wasn't it scary before?"

"Before I was available for everyone and now I am not.

That's scary."

"Strange!"

"Yes, stange. Isn't it?"

"You should be thrilled that you are not available for everyone."

'But I am not available for any one because there is hardly any one around."

'Seems like your life has been so pathetic."

'Yes, for sure. You see everyone seemed more important to me than myself.

Thats pathetic. Actually sad, so very sad indeed."

"OPEN MIKE...AND TOO LONG A POEM, A POEM OF GRIEF."

" OPEN MIKE...AND TOO LONG A POEM, A POEM OF GRIEF"

TO BE WRITTEN ANOTHER TIME.

DON'T HAVE THE STRENGTH

THE POEM IS TOO LONG AND

 IT WILL LAST FOR A VERY LONG TIME.

OPEN MIKE DOESN'T DESERVE THIS POEM OF SORROW...

"YOU HAVE TWO MINUTES." THEY SAY

"TWO MINUTES TO RECITE YOUR POEM."

"IT'S OPEN MIKE"

"TWO MINUTES."

YOU MUST BE KIDDING ME.

YOU ARE INSULTING MY GRIEF

YOU ARE INSULTING MY SADNESS

YOU ARE INSULTING MY LOSS...

'THEY ARE ALL EATING"

 "THEY ARE ALL EATING"

They are all eating and the world is burning.

Who gives a shit if the world burns...

Eat...eat...eat.

"I thought people could hear me thinking."

'Go to Toronto, see people eat.

All kinds of food in Toronto...

Come back nourished and healthy

Let it happen

Let the world burn

You can't extinguish the fire

You are not a fire brigade...

No guilt.

Your function is to eat...

So you can think

And if you can think

You can change

And if you can change

You can change the world

But first you have to eat...

ANALYZING PLAYS AND THEATER BY ANONYMOUS EXPERTS

 ANALYZING PLAYS AND THEATER BY ANNONYMOUS EXPERTS.

"The question he has raised about the meaning of his life." 

"I had to go where the character led me."

"You don't have to tell the truth in a play. It's not a biography."

'In playwriting, you can imagine things and create them yourself. It is liberating."

"I had lines in my head blocking in my body, i wasn't sure about the balance between the play's

intellectual and emotional idea."  D Thompson ?

"The force he faced and his triumphs over hardship."  L Armstrong

"Integrity

Virtuosity

Generosity

Kindness

Love

His ability to entertain and spread joy."  ?

Oscar Wilde once said, "No real artist ever tries to prove anything that means- if you

tell the truth, it will prove anything."

'You are going to or infact you have destroyed your entire life because of M-G, A-S, A+A.

five f**king people?

Life is too precious than M.G who is dead already, this ghushti, A.S and these two arrogant bitches A+A?

Forget them and live happily the rest of your days and go to see theater, thats all. Theater is all. Learning

about it, seeing it, just listen to other people's stories, other people's f**k ups...

They are all meaningless dots and others are MF." ???

"HAVE HAPPY DESPAIR INSTEAD OF HAVING MISERABLE DESPAIR."ENJOY YOUR LIFE

 BESIDE ALL THAT SHIT."

LIVE IN THE THEATER. DO PLAYS IN YOUR DREAMS".  BS 

"DO PLAYS IN YOUR SLEEP."  BS

Do anti male play. people will come in droves for sure. " BS

"I love the world and its violence."  ?

'I love the violence in the world." ?

" How wonderful the world and it's violence."

'Violence and the world."

"Happy despair about the world and its violence.

Choose one of the above as a title for a new play.

SOME ONE ELSE SAID IT. (Sayings of others)

 SOME ONE ELSE SAID IT

"Privilage of the white survitude of the black." ?

"Regret and thought of parallel life in which he could have been a great man." ?"

'Consumed by?"

"No cure is possible without self knowledge."

"Mysticism or madness?"

"There is no shame in it. it's an illness. It's not fall from grace." ?

"And failure has different definitions. Failure is never doing anything." ?

"There are stories that save us and the stories that trap us."?

"You must concentrate yourself wholly to each day, as though a fire were raging in your hair." ? 

(most Important)

"Make money........Spirtual shabbiness of salad days."

"It makes it possible for an outsid consciousness (reader) to follow, understand and interpret

the minds of the characters, reader returns to a focal point." ?

"The isolation of individual human spirit

 and contrast between the disorder and fragmentary experience

of living and the ideal truth

 or beauty to which the human mind aspires." ?

"Symbolic values can not be defined when one finds them.

 It's only by intention, by sensing." ? V .W

"Symbolic design and symbolic vision 

can be found in most in Virgina Wolf's books. " ?

"Trivial subject gains inexpress significance-just as the trivial

 in consciousness gains meaning when? "

(Incomplete sentence.)'Characters advance in age from childhood to middle age."?

"The introductory descriptions are symbolc." ?

DAY BEGINS

 DAY BEGINS

QUEEN IS DEAD. Sept, 9 2022

Rest is all nothing

Throw it out.

Shoes? Don't fit...throw them out

Books?  Don't read... Throw them out

Clothes? don't fit...Throw them out

Art material? put it all in one place, one bag, one suitcase, one place

Scripts? put them in one trunk and then forget about them

Buy another trunk like the pink one

Then buy another trunk, the blue one

Then buy one more trunk, the pink one...

Fill them with junk

IMPORTANT JUNK...

AND THEN FORGET ABOUT IT

"I SAID, "THEN FORGET ABOUT IT.

 LOCK ALL THE TRUNKS AND FORGET ABOUT IT."

TAKE FERRIES TO DIFFERENT AREAS

NO STARCH....

'JUST A BODY, USE IT."

 "JUST A BODY, USE IT. FILL THE CHAIR."

Pent up anger

Defensive

Not trusting

Want things to go his/her way

Inexperienced

Insecure.

No knowledge about the process

Can be argumentative

Controlled wish to control with his/her opinions

Theater protocal lacking

Theater experience nil

Outrageous is the news

 and outrageous makes the news

A carnival barker

He/she had her by the throat

Should use them for your own end with a smile, yes, easy to say.

Don't resist the process

There is no democracy in the theater.

Some people have a double role

Some are your boses

Don't argue, it's not a competion.

Politely and sometime not so politiely thrusting his/her opinions onto you

Can't learn from a teacher by controlling teacher's process

Not flexible, just ambitious.

To learn, one has to be humble

Some one told me once, 

" I have had the horrendous experiences with some of them...

'I have met some horrible people in my life."

No gratitude, no respect

Mention age,  yes , they do...age, 

 the democratic people mention age slyly, 

 politely as if no one knows

 that they are un-sophisticated  A.H

Low class/lowest of the low

Atmosphere of despair created by some of those A.H

No one rewards generosity and respect for kind deeds. 

 Most of them mock it.

Prevailing darkness

No joy or hope or love...

"JUST A BODY, USE IT...

FILL THE CHAIR

IT'S ABOUT FILLING CHAIRS.

CONVERSATION

 CONVERSATION

They all have conversations with each other.

"My foundation, (another important person interupts) Yes, my foundation

(The first person interupts the second person) In my foundation we have 15 senior exuctives.

(The third person interupts the second person) But in my foundation we have 20...

govt officials retired,  govt officials.  First person: Twenty what?

Second person: Yes, in my foundation, our 15 brilliant executives...

Well, (The first person interupts) In my foundation all the executives are very well trained and...

The third person cut the first person off: In my foundation all the executives are retired govt officials

The first person: You mean all the corrupt ones...

The third person interupts the first person: In your foundations the Ceo's are very well known criminals

and...

And what?

The third person shouts at the first person: Yes, didn't two of your Ceo's went to jail?

So what? They all wrote books:

First person to the third person: And what about your Ceo's?

My Ceo's after their jail sentences not only wrote books but they became best sellers on NYT...what can

 be a better achievement than that?

Your foundation bought all the books, all of them and do you know what it means to be on the best

 seller

 list on NYT?  It doesn't mean that the book has any integrity or the writer have any talent...

I know what it means, the third foundation owner to the second foundation owner:  The more books

 you sell the best seller you become.

The first owner of the foundation:

Not sold to any Tom, Dick, or Harry but to your company...

Best book seller means...the book which is sold

 the most...

Yes, I know and the book, our book, about our foundation by the ex felon was sold the most

You bought it yourself,  your foundation went and bought all of them and dumped them in a garage...

Third foundation owner to the first corrupt Ceo, 

Doesn't matter,  in a garage or not...they were sold.

NYT doesn't care if they are in the garage...they only care about the sale...

So?

So what?

So your ex criminal is a brilliant writer, right?

Thats not the point?

There is no point having this conversation with you...

You call this conversation...

What do you call it? 

By now, the first foundation owner want to leave

 to have a quick session with his secretary

and so does the third owner of the foundation...

he just met a porno star and she is waiting in a hotel

 suit...

Before you go,  the third Ceo of foundations says to the first Ceo, 

No mention of the money, crime and sex

happened in our meeting...

what kind of conversation was that?

 A waste, a total waste, i am never going

 to have any conversation with any Ceo of any foundation again.

What about them?

Five of them went to jail and the rest of us going soon...to jail

You can go to jail,  I am going to my porno star....

After the porno star, you will go to jail as well.

How do you know?

I know. I am a Ceo too, Ceo of a trillion dollar foundation...

Who the fuck needs a conversation?

Conversations are for the intellectual assholes

Are their any left?

I thought they have become the Ceo's of criminal foundations like us...

End of conversation.

Oh! was there a conversation? I dozzed off...

How much money did my foundation lose while I was dozzing off?

All of it. You have no foundation left. 

You are not a Ceo any more. Go back to sleep.

DISCIPLINE, A CODE OF BEHAVIOR

 DISCIPLINE, A CODE OF BEHAVIOR

Lacking

Completely lacking

times

And

And what?

It doesn't work 

Try one more time...

Just one more try...

We will see...

But just try

I have tried many times before

And?

It doesn't work

What do you mean-it doesn't work?

It doesn't

You mean to say that you have no will

 to have discipline in your life?

I have very strong will...

I would just die to have discipline in my every day life

Then have it

It's totally missing

You must have a strong will power

I don't have it...

You don't have what?

Every one can have strong will power if they try

I have tried so any times in the past

And?

And it doesn't work...

Everything works if you want

Only in your life.

 You are a machine

That's good or bad?

Good, i guess

So, why can't you have something good in your life?

I want to, you see , 

you don't seem to understand what I a saying...

What are you saying?

The discipline in my life doesn't work...

Can I help you?

Please do. I need it.

Ok...these are the following things you have to do to begin with...

What things?

I am going to tell you, give me a chance...

Ok, you have a chance to discipline my day...

Number one:  Throw out everything you don't use.

I use nothing

So?

So what?

Throw them out.

Can't

Why?

Expensive items

Do you use them?

No

Throw them out.

Throw out all shoes which don't fit or are un-comfortable...

But they are brand new

So what? they are causing you anxiety right?

Lots of anxiety...

So throw them out or give them away...

I have no one to give my things to...

Give it your girl friends

What?

Girl friends...

Who has girl friends?

Ok, give it to the thrift shops

They don't come to my place to pick them up

Go to the thrift shops and give them away...

Are you kidding me?

 I am on 6th bfloor with no elevator...

Shoes are heavy...

Everything is heavy if you have no will power

I can't carry tons of shoes just with will power. 

I need an elevator

Discipline number two: 

throw away all the clothes you don't wear

They don't fit me any more

So throw them away...

Can't, they are expensive

But you don't use them

I can't, they don't fit

So, throw them away

How?

Take them to a thrift shop

I told you they don't come to pick anything up from any one's house.

 They are pretty arrogant. 

they make money from your things

 but with an attitude and i don't like peope with attitude.

But you want to get rid of things, right?

Why should I get rid of my beautiful clothes?

Because you don't use them,

 you don't wear them,

 they don't fit you, 

you became a fat slob...

What did you say?

I mean, you gained lots of weight...

So?

So, why are you saving clothes which don't fit you?

Some day they will fit me,

 when I lose weight

 and if I throw them away listening to you 

I will be sorry later on.

Oh! so you have a plan to lose weight?

Every one has a plan to lose weight...

So?

So what?

Have you lost any weight yet?

Not yet, i gained more weight actually...

See that's what I mean

What do you mean?

Throw them out, lighten your weight

How can I lighten the weight

 by carrying them to the thrift shops?

I mean after you get rid of them, 

your weight will lighten up...

After? 

You mean 

Right?

Right

But what about while I have to carry them downstairs,

 then to the bus or subway, 

then a few blocks walk to the thrift shop

 to give them my expensive clothes for free? 

Do you thrink that thrift shops are so important

 that I have to drag myself

 with heavy bags of vintage clothes,

 silks, linene, furs and all that stuff with tags on.

..yes, some of my clothes still have tags on..

.i bought so many that I never had time to wear all of them.

 Thay have tags on

 but I can't fucking get into them

 and that's my sorrow

 when I look at them

 I collapse with sorrow 

and regret to have them but can't use them.

..you know what I mean? 

I feel terrible looking at them,

 so much money wasted 

and so many pounds of flesh added to my tummy

, my thighs,

 my limbs.

..and you tell me to throw them out..

. I will collapse in the staircase,

 i might have a heart attack

 and di.

 trying to give my beautiful clothes away

 to some bitchy, arrogant thrift shop bitch or baster

can't believe it,

 they only have thrift shops 

and they behave so important,

 more important than me? 

 I can't believe that

 the whole damn world behave more important than me.

..How dare they?

 I mean how dare they?

They have some nerve..

.to behave more important than me. 

Are you having a nervous breakdown?

Nervous breakdown?

 Nervous breakdown are very precious,

 they come once in a blue moon.

..this, 

kind of difficulty I have every day,

 every moment.

 It's nothing, just ordinary.

..every day thing.

 I don't want to insult the importance of nervous breakdowns. 

I don't want to insult the nervous breakdown...

People can kill themselves

 after they have a serious breakdown..

.I don't want to kill myself, 

i just need more space 

and more discipline

 which will give me more brething space

...That's why I am telling you

 that you should get rid of your clothes,

 this way you will gain two results simultaniously..

. Discipline and space.

..You don't seem to understand,

 i want those two things 

but I can't do what you tell me. 

Your solutions are not practical for me.

Ok, don't throw your clothes away,

 just give it to your girl friends...

Honey, if you mention the word,

 girl friend one more time,

 you might not leave this place alive...

I have no fucking girl friends 

who might appreciate my generosity.

..They have an attitude of importance

 like the owners of thrift shops....

Ok, keep the clothes

 but let me tell you about number three of discipline

Ok...

Number three:  Throw away all the books

Books, you don't read or you will never read...

What make you think 

that I would never read my books in the future?

If you haven't read them 

in the last one year, throw them away...

What is it with you?

 Your advice of me having any kind of discipline

 is to throw all my possessions away. 

Why would I throw my beautiful books of poetry?

 biographies, 

 autobiographies,

 my books of philosophy? 

my books of stream of consciousness? 

my books of self help...

You have books about self help?

Yes, doesn't everyone?

People like you who need help have them

 but people who took care of themselves

, they don't need self help books. 

And those books never helped you any way

 so why are you keeping them? 

you haven't read them obviously...

What makes you think that I will never read them?

You haven't read them yet and you really do need help...

You are not helping me much, 

all you want me to do is lose everything I have. 

You can't believe the kinds of books I have.

 I have complete works of Shakespeare,

 Ibsen,

 Edgar Allen Poe,

 Boudelaire, 

W.B. Yeats,

T.S. Eliot, 

Harold Pinter plays,

 Dale Carnegi...

Oh! you have Dale Carnegi

 and you learned nothing from it,

 he was the original master of self help.

Thats why I have him.

 And you are telling me to throw it out,

 give it to some shop full of filthy clothes?

It didn't help you...

I didn't read it yet...

How long ago, did you buy it?

I have hundereds of books 

and you ask me when the hell did I buy it?

Yes, it's important for having discipline to know

 for how long you haven't used a particular item...

It's not an item, 

it's a particulr book which can be useful to me in the future.

.You are trying to teach me discipline, 

i wonder why? 

Because I never asked you to do that.

 You took the initiative on your own like a control freak 

and trying and trying very hard

 for me to be without things I love

 and live a lonely fucking life in an empty apt.

..what kind of a girl friend are you?

See I proved it to you that 

all my girl friend have a great sense of importance about themselves

 and they have that sense of arrogence 

that they know everything, 

everything of significance 

and I know nothing and i need help.

 I don't need help, not at all. 

And I would advise you 

that please don't try to help anyone..

.if they don't ask you for it like myself..

.i never asked you to teach me

 any kind of discipline

 especially your kind of discipline. 

I wantto  be alone to read my books, 

my collection of great books.

..they are here to teach me everything,

 beauty, companionship, life, art,

 songs, birds, love, everything..

..I will never throw anything out of my place,

 discipline can go to hell.

 By now. by the way thanks for trying.

..somethings are hard to learn..

.I don't want to learn anything 

more than i have  learnt already.

 that's enough...more than enough..

.no more advice from strangers

 or well wishers if there are any left on this planet any more.

.."Throw everything out she says." 

what kind of a girl friend is she?

She is not a friend

She is a jealously against my things

My precious things of knowledge and of beauty.

Can you believe it?

She wants me to throw all the knowledge

And beauty out

Or give it to a dirty, filthy, smelly thrift shop

And she claims that she is my girl friend

Please...maybe i don't know the definition of a girl friend

Definition of a girl friend is, "A girl who is a friend."

And these days no one knows any thing about themselves

No one is clear about their gender

Am I a girl?

Or am I a boy?

Or am I both?

Or am I none?

Please, and I have to take their advice?

ANONYMOUS CONTINUES

 ANONYMOUS CONTINUES

"I am standing up because I don't respect any one now- BS

No one is more important than myself."  ?

'Influence and opinion-every one is fighting for." ?

I don't care any ore for any kind of influence and I want to keep y opinions for myself.   BS

"With all my money and influence, have no control over my children. The other clan has it."   ?

"You have to do it the white way as a person of color."   ?

'Orphans of Capitalism."   ?

" Get out of paralyzing inertia". ?

"Get out of cultural repression."

"Emotional depth

Funny humor

Acting skills". ?

"Kind of depressed, repressed-rigorous-constraint that we insist on living under."   Ishiguro

"Societal expectations."  ?

" Operatic emotive performance."

ANONYMOUS

 ANONYMOUS

"People with power make others feel that they have no power." ?

"God has placed you in a position it is- be thankful." ?

"God is order, devil is chaos." ?

"Black people are just an approval rating, give me something back for y vote. ?

" You have to fight for your voice, not by fighting literally but by quiet imagination and creativity.

Keep creating- thats the fight- the ore they marginalized you-the more you must create.

The only thing for a marginalized artist is to use your voice, your belief to keep creating."

GRIEF

 GRIEF

Taking grief away...

It's about learning how to live with the fact that you are a person who has waves of grief.   ?

"Fate has already banished me to fathomless gloom."?

Fatholess gloom."

"Avalanche will sweep one along in your fall." ?

"Taste for nothingness."   Le Goa- duneant

"With memories sleeping in that thick head of hair."   ?

" Languish Asia-- A whole far away world absent- so sad amongst my poems. "   I think Boudelaire ?

"Endless lulling of sweet-scented leisure."

" Of oil of coconut-of musk and tar."

"Scatter sappires, rubies, pearls-just dream about where you want to be."

"  "But why is she weeping? She the perfect beauty."      Baudelaireto move

"Prolonged grief."  Treatment to help people start to move on and engage in meaningful

activities again while they continue to cope with grief."

"QUOTATIONS CONTINUES"

 "QUOTATIONS CONTINUES"

"Morbid petulant- you are all pleasure."   ?

"Be celebrated not just tolerated."    ?

"Always being questioned."   ?

"That's degrading-disgusting."   ?

"Climate of feelings."   ?

'"QUOTATIONS"

 "QUPTATIONS."

"Blasphemy of art".    La-Cherlure

"Scribbling observations."     Gerard-de-Nerval

'A distinguished wandere in the life of Poe."    Gerad-de-Nerval

"Sensual hypochondria shading into artydom." ?

"The first who is not triuphant but accuses himself."    Ada Thirlwell

"Conquuered human race."   ?

"Sunlight on the sea."    ?

Life is a one act play

 'LIFE IS A ONE ACT PLAY"

BY

BINA SHARIF

"Life is a one act play is in two parts.

SITUATION AND THE JUNGLE.

The play takes place during the lockdown of

 Covid in a small apt in Manhattan in 2020

Characters: Lilly/Karima:  Bina Sharif

                   Smith/Sal:  Kevin Mitchell Martin

The characters out of their frustration and isolation from the outside world try to find ceative ways to survive.

"LONG IGNORANT JOURNEY OF THE PAST

"LONG IGNORANT JOURNEY OF THE PAST." 

(Only the so called liberals matter)

A:  Why must you call the journey ignorant?

B:  Why ? he asks me...

A:  Yes, why?

B:  Because of my ignorance

A:  Ignorance of what?

B:  Are you alright?

A:  Alright?

B:  Yes, alright.

A:  Is ignorance an illness?

B:  Who said that it is?

A:  The way you seem so surprised

B:  Yes, it's kind of surprising that you would call your journey ignorant

      instead of calling yourself ignorant...

B:  it's the same thing

A:  No, it's not.  You could have said, "Oh! how ignorant I was when I took the journey.

B:  IF YOU ARE IGNORANT ABOUT CERTAIN THINGS YOUR JOURNEY CAN BE

 CONSIDERED IGNORANT.

A: I don't agree

B: You don't have to agree.  Why must I always agree with your damn agreements?

A:  It's not a damn agreement, it's the grammar. Your grammar is shot.

B:  My grammar is shot? Who shot it? Republicans? it must be since you blame everything

on Republicans.

A:  You told me you don't want to get into politics any more.

B:  First of all I was never in Politics at all

 (A interupts)

A: Oh! really? You were never involved in politics? , ha, 

 B: That's exactly the cause of my ignorant journey...this bullshit of two parties

      and I ended up in NYC, the party of liberals, your party and it was my party as well...

     After years of suffering and torturing myself and being confused, how come the liberals weren't 

     paying any attention to the issues important to me? Then after decades I fucking understood that

     thats how it works here...and the moment I realized the truth, my truth as I believe it was a waste...

     waste, total waste of belonging to any party, any politics, any agenda, any cause...and I regreted

     ignorance and I was shocked about it because Before I got here I considered myself highly intelligent

     educated, cultural, social, Humanist ect, ect but hell no, nothing mattered...nothing...and one day I

    got it...i got it that I took a long ignorant journey to a far off foreign land having a different kind of

    thinking about it's democracy, it's politics, it's liberation.

    Beside being liberal, the democratic party have other issues with lots of other things and people, the

    people who are not politically correct for them and for them they are as conservative or even more      

    conservative than the pary, the Republican party you hate. And I am sick and tired of you questioning 

    me, criticising my opinions, correcting me as if your party's opinion is the only fucking opinion that  

    matters. I am tired of this interogation of the members of the liberal establishment...I am not under

    prosecution ad you are not the prosecutor. Let me be. Ok? Let me breath, Ok? Is that Ok with you if I 

    breath? Man! This shit stinks. And yes, It was a long ignorant journey, es, very long, very very long...

    AM I RELEASED NOW? RELEASED FROM THE PRISON OF LIBERAL OPINION?

    LIBERAL? MY BUTT.

   

"I HAVE JUST WASTED ANOTHER MORNING LIKE ALL OTHER MORNINGS."

 I SAY, 'I WON'T DO TOMORROW,  WHAT I DID TODAY

EVERY DAY I SAY IT...

THAT TOMORROW I WON'T DO WHAT I DID YESTERDAY

AND THEN I DO THE SAME EXACT THING THE NEXT DAY.

I WASTE MY MORNING

EVERY MORNING

I WASTE IT...

I READ ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE

I WATCH OTHER PEOPLE ON VIDEOS

I THINK OF OTHER PEOPLE

I READ NONSE...

I WATCH NONSENS ON YOU TUBE

THAT'S SOME THING NEW

NEW WASTE

NEW WASTE

NEW WASTE.

EVERY NIGHT I HATE MYSELF

EVERY MORNING I DO THE SAME THING WHICH I HATE MYSELF ABOUT, AT NIGHT

I NEED TO STOP

BUT I CAN'T

I NEED TO STOP 

BUT I CAN'T STOP

AN ADDICTION

I DON'T DO DRUGS

I DON'T DRINK

I DON'T STAY ON THE PHONE FOR HOURS

BUT I STARTED SOMETHING NEW

SOMETHING NEW

TO WASTE MYSELF

WASTE MY MORNING

EVERY MORNING

YOU FUCKING TUBE

AND I CAN'T STOP

IT STARTED WITH MEGHAN AND HARRY

THEN WENT TO IDAHO MURDERS

THEN TO PIER'S MORGAN

THEN TO LADY C

THEN TO IDAHO MURDERS AGAIN

THEN TO WILL SMITH

THEN TO CHRIS ROCK

THEN TO THE SLAP

SLAP

SLAP

SLAP

THEN TO THE OSCARS

TUBE, YOU TUBE...

EVERY MORNING

THEN TO CHRIS ROCK ON NETFLIX

NOW TRUMP BEING ARRESTED

EVERY MF WASTE ALREADY

NEW WASTE COM?

TOMORROW THERE WILL BE MORE WASTE.

 YOUR LIFE'S  WASTE.

ARE YOU GOING TO WATCH THAT?

HAVEN'T YOU ALREADY WASTED YOUR LIFE?

IS THERE ANYTHING LEFT TO WASTE?

ANYTHING?

ANYTHING LEFT TO O BE WASTED?

DO YOU HAVE MORE OF YOUR DAYS LEFT TO BE WASTED?

MORE OF YOUR LIFE LEFT TO BE WASTED?

ARE YOU GOING TO KEEP WASTING WHAT IS ALREADY WASTED?

I THOUGHT YOU WERE A WRITER

YOU CALL YOURSELF A PLAYWRIGHT?

PLEASE...

WHERE IS THE PLAY?

OH! THE WASTE...

THE WASTE

THE WASTE...

YOU SAID, YOU ARE A READER

A READER OF BOOKS

 GREAT BOOKS...

WHERE ARE THE BOOKS SITTING?

COLLECTING DUST

YES, LOTS OF DUST

BURIED UNDER DUST

DEAD

AMBITION?

DEAD

FUTURE? DEAD

IS THAT THE PLAY YOU ARE NOW WRITING?

YES...

WHAT IS THE TITLE?

"LIFE WASTED ON SMELLY SHIT"

WASTED LIFE BY SITTING, SMELLING, WATCHING SHITTY SHIT.

THAT WILL TAKE A FEW YEARS

YOU ARE GOING BAK ON YOU TUBE WATCHING SHIT...

THEN TO THE REACTIONS OF OTHERS ON CHRIS ROCK ON NETFLIX

THEN TO MORE REACTIONS

THEN TO MORE UN-KNOWN ANALYST'S ANALYSING WILL SMITH

ANALYSING CHRIS ROCK...

WANT TO DO THAT?

SILENCE...

TO DO THAT INSTEAD OF WRITING A PLAY?

OR READING A BOOK?

OR GETTING YOUR HEAD IN ORDER?

YES. AND YES AGAIN.

MY JOB HERE IN AMERICA IS TO WASTE MY LIFE,  YES... AND YES AGAIN

MY JOB IS TO WASTE MY LIFE IN AMTO WASTE MY LIFE IN AMERICA AS A WOAMAN

OF COLOR, AS AN IMMIGRANT,

A WELL EDUCATED ,SMART IMMIGRANT IS A GREAT CREDIT TO ALL IMMIGRANTS.

HOW MANY IMMIGRANTS COME HERE TO WASTE THEIR LIVES?

YES, GO AHEAD, ASWER ME.

NO ANSWER,  RIGHT? I AM THE OLY ONE, A UNIQUE PERSON WITH GREAT INTELLECT

 WHO CAME HERE,

JUST FOR ONE GOAL, ONE MISSION, TO WASTE HER LIFE IN THE MORNING, IN THE

EVENING, EVERY DAY, EVERY WEEK, EVERY YEAR.

I AM SO HAPPY AND PROUD THAT I FULLY ACHIEVED MY GOAL NOW.

NO GOING BACK.

THE END OF PLAY...

YOU CALL THIS A PLAY?

YES.

TOO SHORT, TOO NEGATIVE TO BE PRODUCED

PRODUCED?

WHAT DID YOU SAY?

PRODUCED, I SAID, TOO SHORT, TOO NEGATIVE...

BUT YES...IT'S NEGATIVE. WHY EVERY PLAY HAS TO BE POSITIVE. IN HAMLET EVERY

 ONE DIED. WON'T YOU CALL THAT POSITIVE?

I AM NOT HAMLET BUT I KNOW HIS CONFLICTS, INDECISIVE NATURE, A MAN OF 

IN-ACTION. HE SHOULD HAVE KILLED THE KING WHEN HE HAD A CHANCE.

I ALSO SUFFER FROM IN-ACTION, INDECISIVENESS, CHRONIC DELAYS CAUSE

AND CREATE A LOT OF WASTE. IF HAMLET KILLED THE KING EARLY ON THERE WON'T

 BE SO MANY MURDERS LATER. THE PLAY WOULD BE SHORT BUT IT WOULD BE

 POSITIVE. LONGER PLAYS CAN BE NEGATIVE AS WELL. BUT I DON'T MIND NEGATIVE

THINGS, IT SUITS MY NATURE. I AM A DEPPRESSIVE, MELANCHOLIC, PROCRASTINATOR

OTHERWISE I WOULD How are you?VE KILLED MYSELF REALISING HOW MUCH WASTE I

 HAVE CREATED AROUND ME.

SEE, MANY THINGS COME OUT OF BAD STUFF. MY BODY AND SOUL IS SO FULL OF IN-

ACTION THAT I COULDN'T KILL MYSELF. I AM SO PASSIVE THAT I NEVER EVEN

 THOUGHT OF KILLING MYSELF. ITHE BEGINNING REALLY NEVER THOUGHT OF THAT

 AT ALL.

I THOUGHT OF SUCCESS A LOT, A WHOLE LOT IN THE BEGINNING OF MY LIFE HERE.

  I FELT VERY FREE,  THINKING ABOUT

 SUCCESS. 

THEN IN MY MIDDLE YEARS OF MY LIFE, ..I STARTTO THINK OF FAILURE.

I THOUGHT OF FAILURE  A WHOLE LOT.

AND NOW IN MY LATER YEARS OF MY LIFE, I THINK OF WASTE A 

WHOLE LOT.

 EVERY MORNING AND EVERY EVENING,  ALL DAY, EVERY DAY I THINK OF, WASTE,

 WASTE, WASTE OF LIFE A LOT, A WHOLE LOT...

YOU ARE FREE TO CALL IT A SHORT, VERY SHF LOUISVILLEORT 10 MINUTE PLAY AND

 SEND IT TO ACTOR'S THEATER OF LOUISVILL OR CALL IT A DRAMATIC MONOLOGUE OR

 CALL IT A LIFE WASTED...BUT PRODUCTION?

PRODUCTION OF ANY OF THIS WILL BE OUT OF QUESTION ESPECIALLY  IN ANY

 DECENT PLACE.

TOO DEPRESSING

TOO NEGATIVE

TOO HOPELESS

TOO UNKNOWN...

WHO IS UNKNOWN?

THE SOURCE

SOURCE?

YES, THE WRITER HAS NO AFFILATION WITH POLITICAL CORRECTNESS OF THE DAY

DAY AFTER DAY, DAY AFTER DAY, THE POLITICAL CORRECTNESS CHANGES BUT THIS

 WRITER NEVER FITS IN IN ANY OF TOSE LABELS.

GEE! THAT'S NOT NICE

WHO SAID IT'S NICE?

IT'S A WASTE...

WHO SAID, WASTE IS EVER NICE?

T.S. ELIOT WROTE, "WASTELAND" AND IT'S THE GLORIOUS POEM FOR ALL TIMES TO

 COME.

ARE YOU ILL? YOU SEEM MUCH MORE SICK THAN ME.

TALKING ABOUT, WASTELAND BY T.DS. ELIOT

BUT YOU ALSO HAVE THE WORD WASTE IN YOUR WRITING...JUST ADD THE WORD LAND

TO IT AND YOU WILL HAVE A GREAT POEM CALLED, WASTELAND...

OK, GREAT IDEA...YOU GAVE ME A GREAT IDEA...

ITS GOING TO BE CALLED, "WASTE--IN THE LAND."

I CAN'T STEAL T. S. ELIOT'S TITLE, CAN I?

I SIMPLY CAN'T...

BEING INFLUENCED BY SOMETHING IS POSSIBLE BUT NOT STEALING...

DESPERATION, DISGUST, DISAPPOINTMENTS, REGRETS, MEMORY, THOUGHTS, ANGUISH

ARE JUST WORDS...WORDS...WORDS.

LIVE THEM, THINK OF THEM, SLEEP WITH THEM, BREATHE THEM...

THEY ARE STILL JUST WORDS...WORDS...WORDS OF NO CONSEQUENCE LIKE

 EVERYTHING ELSE.

"HEAR THE SINGING BIRDS SING."

 "HEAR THE SINGING BIRDS SING."

A NEW SOLO PLAY

BY

BINA SHARIF

copyright:binasharif 2009-2023

'Hear the singing birds sing...

did you hear me?

I said, "hear the singing birds sing."

The widow is closed...

I cn't hear the sining birds sing."

Open the widow...

I can't...

'Why not?

The window is closed...

I said, Open the window and hear the birs sing."

Window is locked...

Locked?

Yes, locked.

Who locked it?

I don't know...

Who knows?

I don't know...

No one comes here...

I know...

So, who locked the window?

I don't know...

Smashed the window...

Smash the window?

Yes, smashed the window...

And then?

Then what?

Yes, then what?

Then hear the birds sing...

it's snowing outside...

So?

Birds don't sing during the snow...

Who said so?

Every one says so...

What do they say?

They say that the birds migrate to other countries durin snow...

Who said so?

I heard...

From whom?

People...

You listen to people...

I hear people talk...

Which people?

People...

It means nothing what people say...

I don't mean to always listen but they are so loud that I can't help listenig...

Thats why you don't hear the singing birds sing...

Maybe, people are always screaming and it scares the birds and they migrate to other countries

where people may be more quiet...

Who told you that?

No one...

So, how do you know?

I know a thing or two...

You do?

Yes,, I do.

I am not an idiot...

Who said that you are?

You...

I?

Yes,

I never sais that...

You always say, "How do you know? how do you know?"

I just say that because I need to know where does your knowledge come from?

From you...

Oh! me?

Yes, you

Jee...

You behave as if you know everything...

I know somethings, somethings you might have no knowlede of...

Like what?

Like the birds singing...

I know about the singing birds...

They are called, 'BULBUL."

WHAT?

See, you talk like you know everything about everything but you don't know what is the meaning of

Bulbul...

I know...You just told me.

The birds which sing are known as BulBul...

Not here though, maybe in some foreign lands...

Yes, in foreign land...my Bulbul has gone away to a foreign land, my land, thats why I can't hear her

 sing...i need to go there, far away, far, far away...where the singing birds are singing, so I can hear their

 songs...here it's always snowing...birds wanted to sing, so they left.

Thats why I can't hear them...even if I smash the window I won't hear the bulbul...i have to go where the

 birds have mirated to hear the singing birds sing...

--------PART TWO