DIARY OF A THOUGHT
Unbelievably slow thought process...
Thats also unbelievable
For some one who has a million thoughts rushing through
the grey matter per second....
But those are the thoughts stuck in a circle
They are not linear...
They circulate the same old, unhealthy, un productive
process...
They keep repeating and repeating...
and complete the circle and then again and then again...
They have exhausted me...
I am exhausted\I am exhausted
I AM EXHAUSTED
IDENTITY WOULD HELP
Identify with fruits of your own labors
and become authentic...
Move with rhythms
And not live in the the past's glory or the past's misery
Present should be confronted
Quest for authenticity
Identify with the fruits of your own labor.
Personal style, authentic.....
No facts but only interpretations
There is no single currency
No single class
No single horizon
No single success
No single failure
There are no two paths
But thousands of paths
Not one way of living
But a thousand ways......
Liberate your self from rules
Those are not your rules
But others...
Those are others rules imposed upon you by yourself
Liberate your self from those rules....
Rules are different from discipline
You have no discipline..............
Self legislation....
Don't become your own slave
Since you have no master to control you
Don't enslave yourself by your own self.
FREE YOUR SLAVE
HOW ABOUT THAT?
THATS A GREAT THOUGHT FOR THE DAY
AND ITS NOT SO CIRCULAR EITHER
ITS PRETTY STRAIGHTFORWARD
STRAIGHT AS AN ARROW
FOLLOW THIS THOUGHT OF THE DAY
FREE YOUR SLAVE...........
ITS OVER...............
YOU ARE NOT FROM THE SOUTH
YOU ARE NOT A SLAVE OWNER
YOU ARE NOT EVEN WHITE.....
AND HOW ABOUT THAT?
YOU OF ALL PEOPLE CAN NEVER OWN A SLAVE
FREE YOUR SELF FROM YOUR OWN SLAVERY
ALLOW YOUR SELF TO MOVE TO DANCE...
YES DANCE.....
DANCE...
DANCE...
YOU ARE FINALLY FREE.............
Friday, January 18, 2013
Thursday, January 3, 2013
THIS FLUE SEASON
I don't know if its the season or not
But I got it baby
Baby,
I got the flue
And its here to stay
Its not going away
Baby, I got the flue...
It likes me so much
It fits me like a glove
Its always closer to me than my nose
It is not going away
Its going to stay
Baby, I got the flue
It admires my guts
Runs through my butt
Sneezes on my ass
Curls my whole body upside down
Baby I got the flue
Its not going away
Its going to stay
And the mew year just got started
The flue promised to hang around
The whole year round
And the new year just got started
Baby I got the flue
Its going to stay
its not going away
Any day soon
Oh!baby I got the flue
Its more sincere than any boy friend
Wants to stay around the whole time
Day and night
Afternoon and night
Nothing else to do
For the lonely flue
Came and got stuck on my sleeve
Dragging me around in the street
What does it like about me
I am just a silly old goose
But the flue doesn't budge
It has a grudge
I don't know if its the season or not
But I got it baby
Baby,
I got the flue
And its here to stay
Its not going away
Baby, I got the flue...
It likes me so much
It fits me like a glove
Its always closer to me than my nose
It is not going away
Its going to stay
Baby, I got the flue
It admires my guts
Runs through my butt
Sneezes on my ass
Curls my whole body upside down
Baby I got the flue
Its not going away
Its going to stay
And the mew year just got started
The flue promised to hang around
The whole year round
And the new year just got started
Baby I got the flue
Its going to stay
its not going away
Any day soon
Oh!baby I got the flue
Its more sincere than any boy friend
Wants to stay around the whole time
Day and night
Afternoon and night
Nothing else to do
For the lonely flue
Came and got stuck on my sleeve
Dragging me around in the street
What does it like about me
I am just a silly old goose
But the flue doesn't budge
It has a grudge
Wednesday, January 2, 2013
DON'T
Let things the way they are...
Don't dig deep into them
No use...
No point...
Its been too long...
The distance has gathered speed...
Time has changed things
People have forgotten
what they ,"said"
Or didn't."say"
Every one's memory is not as remarkably disturbing as yours
To you everything is about remembrance...
For others everything is for forgetting...
Forget it
Not the most important thing
By emphasizing other's wrong
you emphasize your need...
Ever heard the word,"Needy?"
A bad word, a very bad word....
For get it...
Just forget it...
Distance has gathered dust and dirt over it
and has covered up the facts
The facts of real ,"Hurt"
Real,"humiliation"
Don't bring it back
No one remembers...
Except you
Because your sharp memory is the source
The source of trouble...
Not only for yourself but for others
They resent you for remembering...
Things long past...
Things long forgotten...
Remember other things
Good things
Remember lines...
That's a good one
Remember lines...
From plays...
Then you will be ready to act...
Thats it...
You found the answer
Remember lines from the famous plays
And quote them in front of famous people
They will be so impressed
They will think you are a genius with memory
and memory is everything in the theater...
Join theater...
With your skills, you will be very successful
You can remember
Isn't that what bothers you all day long?
All night long?
"Who said, "what?"
And "Why" did they <"say" whatever, "The" said...
So sad...so sad...
Waste of a talent...
Waste of an education..
"An educated woman with nothing to do."
Like Chekov said...
'An educated woman with nothing to do."
Well!well! that's going to be the title of your new one woman show...
"AN EDUCATED WOMAN WITH NOTHING TOO DO BUT REMEMBRANCE"
"OR AN EDUCATED WOMAN WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT REMEMBERING..."
That's even better...
A brand new one person play coming up for your entertainment...
Now you can put all your pain, regrets, humiliations, memories, unhappiness, joys,
past, present, the sleepless nights over stupid stuff and stupid meaningless people
into an art form..."Theater" its called...."Theater."
"You want to go to the theater tonight?"
'What's playing?"
" A lot of stuff, but this one sounds interesting"
"Which one?"
"THis one..."AN EDUCATED WOMAN WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT REMEMBERING..."
"That really does sound interesting."
'Lets go."
'Yes, lets go."
"How much?"
"Pretty cheap"
"CHeap? With a title like this, it should be very pricey."
'I know but then we won't be able to see it...we are artists also with no money."
"OH1 well, we should also do a show called, "Artists with no money."
"Yes, we can do that but its a beaten phrase ,"Artists with no money"
"And its not really true any more, artists have millions of dollars up theirs"
'Yes, you are right...that won't sell..."
"An educated woman with nothing to do sounds better but remembering.
"Yes, because it sounds intellectual, education and memory goes together...
if you were not educated, the question of memory won't come into the picture."
"Yes, you are right, with title like,"An artist with no money" seems poor, pathetic,
failure...people don't like failures...they want to mingle with success."
Yes, you are perfectly correct. "An educated woman with nothing to do but remembering"
sounds smart, educated, high society, and well, Chekhovian and Chekhov is so popular now in NY"
" I know...so when do we go?"
"We can go tonight"
Oh! not tonight"
"Well why not?"
"Tonights performance was cancelled."
"Why?"
"THe actor couldn't remember her lines."
"Jesus...wasn't the show about remembering?"
"yes, remembering, but not the lines, the memories, the memories, the real memories...
and no one forgets real memories..."
"People do forget memories, people need to forget sad memories, bad memories, because you can;t move on...you get stuck in a rut...day and night..like a broken record..of the same painful memories...
people need to forget."
"Yes, maybe thats why the actress forgot her lines...may be too painful...the memories"
'Then, she shouldn't have chosen this title"
'Maybe she shouldn't have...but now she is stuck...now she has to remember all her memories
to go on...to go on stage at least...."
Let things the way they are...
Don't dig deep into them
No use...
No point...
Its been too long...
The distance has gathered speed...
Time has changed things
People have forgotten
what they ,"said"
Or didn't."say"
Every one's memory is not as remarkably disturbing as yours
To you everything is about remembrance...
For others everything is for forgetting...
Forget it
Not the most important thing
By emphasizing other's wrong
you emphasize your need...
Ever heard the word,"Needy?"
A bad word, a very bad word....
For get it...
Just forget it...
Distance has gathered dust and dirt over it
and has covered up the facts
The facts of real ,"Hurt"
Real,"humiliation"
Don't bring it back
No one remembers...
Except you
Because your sharp memory is the source
The source of trouble...
Not only for yourself but for others
They resent you for remembering...
Things long past...
Things long forgotten...
Remember other things
Good things
Remember lines...
That's a good one
Remember lines...
From plays...
Then you will be ready to act...
Thats it...
You found the answer
Remember lines from the famous plays
And quote them in front of famous people
They will be so impressed
They will think you are a genius with memory
and memory is everything in the theater...
Join theater...
With your skills, you will be very successful
You can remember
Isn't that what bothers you all day long?
All night long?
"Who said, "what?"
And "Why" did they <"say" whatever, "The" said...
So sad...so sad...
Waste of a talent...
Waste of an education..
"An educated woman with nothing to do."
Like Chekov said...
'An educated woman with nothing to do."
Well!well! that's going to be the title of your new one woman show...
"AN EDUCATED WOMAN WITH NOTHING TOO DO BUT REMEMBRANCE"
"OR AN EDUCATED WOMAN WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT REMEMBERING..."
That's even better...
A brand new one person play coming up for your entertainment...
Now you can put all your pain, regrets, humiliations, memories, unhappiness, joys,
past, present, the sleepless nights over stupid stuff and stupid meaningless people
into an art form..."Theater" its called...."Theater."
"You want to go to the theater tonight?"
'What's playing?"
" A lot of stuff, but this one sounds interesting"
"Which one?"
"THis one..."AN EDUCATED WOMAN WITH NOTHING TO DO BUT REMEMBERING..."
"That really does sound interesting."
'Lets go."
'Yes, lets go."
"How much?"
"Pretty cheap"
"CHeap? With a title like this, it should be very pricey."
'I know but then we won't be able to see it...we are artists also with no money."
"OH1 well, we should also do a show called, "Artists with no money."
"Yes, we can do that but its a beaten phrase ,"Artists with no money"
"And its not really true any more, artists have millions of dollars up theirs"
'Yes, you are right...that won't sell..."
"An educated woman with nothing to do sounds better but remembering.
"Yes, because it sounds intellectual, education and memory goes together...
if you were not educated, the question of memory won't come into the picture."
"Yes, you are right, with title like,"An artist with no money" seems poor, pathetic,
failure...people don't like failures...they want to mingle with success."
Yes, you are perfectly correct. "An educated woman with nothing to do but remembering"
sounds smart, educated, high society, and well, Chekhovian and Chekhov is so popular now in NY"
" I know...so when do we go?"
"We can go tonight"
Oh! not tonight"
"Well why not?"
"Tonights performance was cancelled."
"Why?"
"THe actor couldn't remember her lines."
"Jesus...wasn't the show about remembering?"
"yes, remembering, but not the lines, the memories, the memories, the real memories...
and no one forgets real memories..."
"People do forget memories, people need to forget sad memories, bad memories, because you can;t move on...you get stuck in a rut...day and night..like a broken record..of the same painful memories...
people need to forget."
"Yes, maybe thats why the actress forgot her lines...may be too painful...the memories"
'Then, she shouldn't have chosen this title"
'Maybe she shouldn't have...but now she is stuck...now she has to remember all her memories
to go on...to go on stage at least...."
Tuesday, January 1, 2013
NEW YEAR:2013
I will be very very careful about love
Actually to tell you the truth I have been so hurt about love
That I would like to avoid loving any one new....
I will try at least...
I might not be successful
But I will certainly try...
I have been loving too much
People whom I love
I love them too much
And thats the problem
People tell me to play games
Games about love...
Don't love any one but behave...
That you love them...
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
AND EVEN IF I WANTED TO I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT
MY DNA IS DIFFERENT THAN ALL THOSE PEOPLE
WHO ADVISE ME TO PLAY THE GAME OF LOVE...
I just can't fake it
You can call me an idiot
Or an extremist
Or a fool...
But if I don't like any one I can't be friendly with them
Love is too strong and precious a word to use for some one I don't love...
I know its fashionable to say,"I love you."
And every one says it
I have to mean what I say
And thats why I GET INTO TROUBLE
Most of the times I say what I mean...
I know people also say ,"I didn't mean what I said."
Especially when they say hurtful and nasty things about you...
They justify or try to justify by saying,"Oh! I didn't mean what I said."
So don't say it then
If you don't mean it.
Trust me people mean what they say
They say nasty things with a smile
and behave that you will never get it
But I AM TOO SMART AND SENSITIVE FOR THAT
And thats a problem for me...
I get hurt
Because I am honest with my feelings
My feelings of warmth and my feelings of love
But I have been hurt and hurt again and hurt again
And bitten maliciously by people who have no instincts of honesty
In the fibre of their souls
They might not even have souls
So why should I get hurt?
By the soulless people...
Why love them at all?
Love is not to be wasted
Love is not to be perished
Love is not to be destroyed
Love is to be kept under lock and key
Love is more precious than diamonds
Yes, it is
And why must you part with your diamonds?
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT SWEETHEART?
Keep your love for yourself
No one is going to give it to you what belongs to them
Why are you wasting it on nonsensical and useless human beings?
Keep it for your self
It will come in handy one day
You don't have any bank balance, do you?
You don't own property, do you?
All you have is your pearls and diamonds
And you want to waste it on every Tom, Dick and Harry?
You don't know any Tom, Dick and Harry...
Very un-familiar names to you
Don't give them even an ounce of your love
You don't have to be nice to any one who hurt your feelings
You don't have to be nice to any one who disrespects you...
You don't have to be close to any one you don't want to...
If something got broken in your heart about someone, you don't have to be nice to them...
Forget them...
They never existed
Actually they never existed in your life
Why would it matter to you..
Don't listen to any any one...
You don't want to be be with the one who hurt you in any way...
You don't have to...
You don't owe any one anything...
Trust me you don't
And no one, and I say no one has ever done any favor to you at all in your whole life
Its always you who have done favors to people
Its you who have always be kind
Its you who have always being polite...
WELL STOP....
STOP IN 2013
STOP YOUR LOVE FOR OTHERS
THERE IS NO OTHER WHO COUNTS
NO OTHER BUT YOU...
LOVE YOURSELF AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
YOU DESREV IT.....
AND ITS SO LATE ALREADY....
ITS 2013....
I TOLD YOU THIS IN 2000
YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION
I TOLD YOU THIS IN 2001
YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION
I TOLD YOU THIS IN 2002
THEN IN 2003
THEN IN 2004
THEN IN 2005
THEN IN 2006
THEN IN 2007
THEN IN 2008
THEN IN 2009
THEN IN 2010
THEN IN 2011
THEN IN 2012
YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION
ALL YOUR LOVE IS GONE....
JUST A FRACTION OF IT IS LEFT
A TINY, REALLY TINY FRACTION IS LEFT...
KEEP IT FOR YOUR SELF.....
TRUST ME...
ITS YOUR SHARE
DON'T WASTE IT
YOU WILL BE SO SORRY...
ITS SO LATE ALREADY...
ITS 2013.....
TIME HAS COME TO LOVE YOUR SELF
AND LOVE YOUR SELF ONLY
NO ONE ELSE WILL BE SHARING IT...
THERE IS NOT MUCH LEFT TO SHARE...
SHARE IT WITH YOUR SELF...
THIS IS THE YEAR OF LOVE
LOVE FOR YOURSELF
YOUR SHARE OF THE CHOCOLATE CAKE...
JUST ONE PIECE LEFT...
EAT IT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
EAT YOUR LOVE HONEY
AND EAT IT ALONE...
THIS IS YOUR YEAR...
2013 IS THE YEAR OF LOVE
LOVE OF YOU BY YOU....
LOVE OF YOU BY YOU...
WHAT A GREAT GIFT THE YEAR 2013 IS BRINGING YOU
CHERISH IT DARLING
CHERISH IT...
GET RID OF THE RUBBISH FROM YOUR LIFE
ALL KIND OF RUBBISH
AND PRESERVE THE LOVE
SAVE IT WITH YOUR LIFE.....
IT IS YOUR LIFE
YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR SELF IS YOUR BLOOD LINE...
WHAT ARE YOU WITHOUT YOUR OWN BLOOD...
YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATH
AND THEN YOU WILL BE NO MORE
Your love is your blood
Your love for yourself is your red blood cells,,,
Keep them healthy...
Get rid of the garbage...
Please don't love garbage this year....
Please...please...please...please
For the love of God who gave you life
LOVE YOUR SELF.........
TIME HAS COME....
THE YEAR OF 2013 IS THE YEAR OF LOVE
LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR FOR THE LAST TIME
THE YEAR 2013 IS FOR YOU TO LOVE YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE
AND I SAID,"NO ONE ELSE."
YOU HEAR ME?
YOU BETTER..........
I will be very very careful about love
Actually to tell you the truth I have been so hurt about love
That I would like to avoid loving any one new....
I will try at least...
I might not be successful
But I will certainly try...
I have been loving too much
People whom I love
I love them too much
And thats the problem
People tell me to play games
Games about love...
Don't love any one but behave...
That you love them...
WHY WOULD I DO THAT?
AND EVEN IF I WANTED TO I WOULD NEVER BE ABLE TO DO THAT
MY DNA IS DIFFERENT THAN ALL THOSE PEOPLE
WHO ADVISE ME TO PLAY THE GAME OF LOVE...
I just can't fake it
You can call me an idiot
Or an extremist
Or a fool...
But if I don't like any one I can't be friendly with them
Love is too strong and precious a word to use for some one I don't love...
I know its fashionable to say,"I love you."
And every one says it
I have to mean what I say
And thats why I GET INTO TROUBLE
Most of the times I say what I mean...
I know people also say ,"I didn't mean what I said."
Especially when they say hurtful and nasty things about you...
They justify or try to justify by saying,"Oh! I didn't mean what I said."
So don't say it then
If you don't mean it.
Trust me people mean what they say
They say nasty things with a smile
and behave that you will never get it
But I AM TOO SMART AND SENSITIVE FOR THAT
And thats a problem for me...
I get hurt
Because I am honest with my feelings
My feelings of warmth and my feelings of love
But I have been hurt and hurt again and hurt again
And bitten maliciously by people who have no instincts of honesty
In the fibre of their souls
They might not even have souls
So why should I get hurt?
By the soulless people...
Why love them at all?
Love is not to be wasted
Love is not to be perished
Love is not to be destroyed
Love is to be kept under lock and key
Love is more precious than diamonds
Yes, it is
And why must you part with your diamonds?
HAVE YOU EVER THOUGHT OF THAT SWEETHEART?
Keep your love for yourself
No one is going to give it to you what belongs to them
Why are you wasting it on nonsensical and useless human beings?
Keep it for your self
It will come in handy one day
You don't have any bank balance, do you?
You don't own property, do you?
All you have is your pearls and diamonds
And you want to waste it on every Tom, Dick and Harry?
You don't know any Tom, Dick and Harry...
Very un-familiar names to you
Don't give them even an ounce of your love
You don't have to be nice to any one who hurt your feelings
You don't have to be nice to any one who disrespects you...
You don't have to be close to any one you don't want to...
If something got broken in your heart about someone, you don't have to be nice to them...
Forget them...
They never existed
Actually they never existed in your life
Why would it matter to you..
Don't listen to any any one...
You don't want to be be with the one who hurt you in any way...
You don't have to...
You don't owe any one anything...
Trust me you don't
And no one, and I say no one has ever done any favor to you at all in your whole life
Its always you who have done favors to people
Its you who have always be kind
Its you who have always being polite...
WELL STOP....
STOP IN 2013
STOP YOUR LOVE FOR OTHERS
THERE IS NO OTHER WHO COUNTS
NO OTHER BUT YOU...
LOVE YOURSELF AS MUCH AS YOU CAN
YOU DESREV IT.....
AND ITS SO LATE ALREADY....
ITS 2013....
I TOLD YOU THIS IN 2000
YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION
I TOLD YOU THIS IN 2001
YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION
I TOLD YOU THIS IN 2002
THEN IN 2003
THEN IN 2004
THEN IN 2005
THEN IN 2006
THEN IN 2007
THEN IN 2008
THEN IN 2009
THEN IN 2010
THEN IN 2011
THEN IN 2012
YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION
ALL YOUR LOVE IS GONE....
JUST A FRACTION OF IT IS LEFT
A TINY, REALLY TINY FRACTION IS LEFT...
KEEP IT FOR YOUR SELF.....
TRUST ME...
ITS YOUR SHARE
DON'T WASTE IT
YOU WILL BE SO SORRY...
ITS SO LATE ALREADY...
ITS 2013.....
TIME HAS COME TO LOVE YOUR SELF
AND LOVE YOUR SELF ONLY
NO ONE ELSE WILL BE SHARING IT...
THERE IS NOT MUCH LEFT TO SHARE...
SHARE IT WITH YOUR SELF...
THIS IS THE YEAR OF LOVE
LOVE FOR YOURSELF
YOUR SHARE OF THE CHOCOLATE CAKE...
JUST ONE PIECE LEFT...
EAT IT BEFORE ITS TOO LATE
EAT YOUR LOVE HONEY
AND EAT IT ALONE...
THIS IS YOUR YEAR...
2013 IS THE YEAR OF LOVE
LOVE OF YOU BY YOU....
LOVE OF YOU BY YOU...
WHAT A GREAT GIFT THE YEAR 2013 IS BRINGING YOU
CHERISH IT DARLING
CHERISH IT...
GET RID OF THE RUBBISH FROM YOUR LIFE
ALL KIND OF RUBBISH
AND PRESERVE THE LOVE
SAVE IT WITH YOUR LIFE.....
IT IS YOUR LIFE
YOUR LOVE FOR YOUR SELF IS YOUR BLOOD LINE...
WHAT ARE YOU WITHOUT YOUR OWN BLOOD...
YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO BREATH
AND THEN YOU WILL BE NO MORE
Your love is your blood
Your love for yourself is your red blood cells,,,
Keep them healthy...
Get rid of the garbage...
Please don't love garbage this year....
Please...please...please...please
For the love of God who gave you life
LOVE YOUR SELF.........
TIME HAS COME....
THE YEAR OF 2013 IS THE YEAR OF LOVE
LET ME MAKE THIS VERY CLEAR FOR THE LAST TIME
THE YEAR 2013 IS FOR YOU TO LOVE YOURSELF AND NO ONE ELSE
AND I SAID,"NO ONE ELSE."
YOU HEAR ME?
YOU BETTER..........
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