Saturday, July 13, 2019
BINA SHARIF'S NOTE BOOKS. NUMBER 4
NOTEBOOKS NUMBER 4
DRY CLEANER
CLEAN THE BED ROOM
VACCUM
EVENING
NOTHING WAS ACCOMPLISHED
TOOK A BOOK AND WENT OUT
THEY ALL WENT TO THE BROTHELS
VANGOGH
GUGANE
FLAUBERT
THEY ALL HAD SYPHLIS
THEY STILL PAINTED AND WROTE BOOKS AND WENT OUT DRINKING ABSINTH
HOW DID THEY DO IT? HOW DID THEY ALL THAT WHILE SUFFERING WITH ALL THOSE DISEASES ?
THEY ARE ALL STARRING AT ME
THOSE BORES
SHE IS A BORE
AND THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE TOO
HE IS A BORE
AND THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE TOO
SHE IS A BORE AND A PHONY
HE IS A BORE AND A PHONY
THEY ARE ALL SHOUTING
THEY ARE ALL CLAIMING THAT THEY ARE GETTING AHEAD
THEY ARE NOT GETTING AHEAD
THEY ARE JUST BULL SHITTING YOU
WHY ARE THEY BULL SHITTING ME ?
BECAUSE THEY BULL SHIT ANY ONE...
SO THEY ARE BULLSHITTERS
BUT OF COURSE...
BUT WHY WOULD THEY BULL SHIT ME ? I AM NOT WITH THEM
THATS WHY. BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM, YOU ARE A STRANGER,
THATS WHY THEY CAN BULL SHIT YOU...
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THOUGH..
IT'S EASY TO BULLSHIT A STRANGER. THEY RARE NOT GETTING AHEAD
THEY THINK THEY DO. DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU...DON'T LET THEM MAKE
YOU UNHAPPY....
IT'S MY KNEE WHICH IS MAKING ME UNHAPPY. IT'S NOT THEM
IT'S NOT THEM
NONE OF THEM
NONE OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT
ACTUALLY THEY DO NOT EXIST
I IMAGINED THEM
YOU IMAGINED THEM?
YES, THEY WERE IMAGINARY. THE RESULT OF MY FERTILE IMAGINATION
THAT DOESN'T SEEM VERY FERTILE, THAT SEEM SICK
YES, I AM SICK WITH THE KNEE PAIN. IT'S MY KNEE PAIN WHICH MADE ME UNHAPPY. IT'S NOT THEM... I IMAGINE THINGS AND THEN HAVE DIALOGUE WITH THEM...ONE CAN HAVE DIALOGUE WITH IMAGINARY THINGS WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND
WHICH IS OFTEN, WHICH IS ACTUALLY ALL THE TIME...
SO, DID YOU IMAGINE VANGOGH AND FLAUBERT AS WELL?
NO. THEY WERE FOR REAL. THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE REAL ?
THEY ARE DEAD, ARN'T THEY?
YES. BUT THEY WERE NOT DEAD WHEN THEY WENT TO THE BROTHELS
AND GOT ILLNESSES...
AND THE OTHERS ?
WHICH OTHERS ?
THE ONE WHO WERE BULLSHITTING YOU ABOUT GETTING AHEAD ?
NO, THEY WERE NOT REAL. THEY WERE IMAGINARY PEOPLE. THERE ARE
LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL WHO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT GETTING AHEAD
WHILE THEY ARE NOT. THEY ALL SIT AND TALK ABOUT GETTING AHEAD WHILE
THEY ARE STILL SITTING...AND ME TOO, I AM STILL SITTING BUT I DON'T TALK ABOUT GETTING HEAD...
WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT AS WELL?
BECAUSE I USUALLY SIT BUT DON'T TALK. I AM MOSTLY ALONE SO I DON'T TALK. BECAUSE IF I WAS TALKING WHILE SITTING ALL ALONE BY MYSELF I WILL LOOK LIKE A MAD WOMAN OR A WOMAN WHO IS WIRED AND TALKING TO SOME ONE
NICE AND LOUD..SO SINCE I AM NIT WIRED AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO
I IMAGINE PEOPLE WHO ARE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE...
ARE YOU ILL?
YES, I HAVE KNEE PAIN AND I HAVE HAD THIS KNEE PAIN SINCE MARCH AND NOW
ITS JULY..THATS A LOT OF PAIN, SO NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE PAIN I THINK ABOUT PEOPLE AND SINCE I DON'T HAVE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE I INVENT THEM AND TALK TO THEM
OR OBSERVE THEM...THAT GIVES ME A BREAK FROM MY KNEE PAIN..
WHY DON'T YOU CONCENTRATE ON YOUR KNEE PAIN AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
SO YOU CAN GET RID OF IT...
I CAN'T DWELL ON THINGS, THINGS WHICH CAN'T BE CORRECTED. MY PSYCHIATRIST TOLD ME NOT TO DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE AND THE KNEE
PAIN IS NEGATIVE, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
IT'S POSITIVE TO GET RID OF PAIN...
IF WE ALL GOT RID OF PAIN HOW THE DOCTORS WILL MAKE MONEY?
I GO FROM DOCTOR TO ANOTHER DOCTOR. ALL THEY DO IS TAKE CO-PAY
WHICH GIVES ME MORE PAIN BECAUSE WHEN I COME OUT OF THEIR OFFICES I STILL
HAVE KNEE PAIN AND NO MONEY TO SIT AND EAT. THEY TOOK MY MONEY FOR CO-PAY...AND I DECIDED NOT TO GO TO ANY DOCTOR AND SIT SOME WHER WITH THAT MONEY WHICH GOES FOR CO-PAY AND EAT SOMETHING WITH THAT MONEY AND REST FOR A WHILE ROM THE KNEE PAIN ND WHEN I AM TRYING TO REST AND EAT
THAT'S WHEN I IMAGINE PEOPLE TO OBSERVE THEM SO MY MIND WILL NOT THINK OF THE KNEE PAIN, THE DOCTORS, THE CO-PAY AND ALL THAT...JUST IMAGINE PEOPLE AND WATCH THEM AND HEAR THEM BRAGGING ABOUT GETTING AHEAD...
I KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT GETTING AHEAD BECAUSE THAY ARE NOT REAL
I INVENTED THEM TO TAKE MY MIND OFF MY KNEE PAIN AND NOW MY OTHER KNEE HAS PAIN AS WELL. MY GOOD KNEE GOT SO SICK OF TAKING OF COMPENSATING FOR THE PAIN OF THE PAINFUL KNEE THAT IT GOT ITS OWN PAIN...NOW BOTH OF MY KNEES HAVE PAIN SO I HAVE TO IMAGINE MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL BRAGG ALL DAY ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS WHILE HEY JUST SIT AND BRAGG AND DO NOTHING ELSE TO BOTHER ME, BUT I DON'T GET BOTHERED NOW BECAUS I AM AWARE THAT THEY ARE NOT REAL...THE ONLY THING WHICH IS REAL IS THE PAIN IN MY BOTH KNEES...
WHAT ABOUT VANGOG AND FLAUBERT?
THEY ARE REAL BUT THEY ARE DEAD, SO THEY CAN'T BULLSHIT ME ABOUT THEM GETTING AHEAD. I KNOW THAT THEY GOT AHEAD,. I CAN LOOK AT THEIR PAINTINGS
AND READ THEIR BOOKS..ACTUALLY I WS READING A BOOK ABOUT FLAUBERT
WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT THEY ALL WENT TO BROTHELS AND GOT ILLNESSES
BUT I KNOW THEY DID GET AHEAD...UNLIKE THE PEOPLE I IMAGINED. THEY NEVER GOT AHEAD, THEY JUST BULLSHITTED ME...
BUT WHAT DID FLAUBERT AND VAN GOGH HAD TO DO WITH YOUR KNEE PAIN ?
THEY ARE FOR SURE RELATED TO MY KNEE PAINS...
REMEMBER MUCH EARLIER I WAS GOING TO CLEAN MY BED ROOM AND DO THE VACCUM AND DO THE LAUNDRY ?
YES, I REMEMBER, YOU MENTIONED SOMETHING LIKE TAHT BUT THEN YOUR ATTENTION ABRUPTLY SHIFTED TO VAN GOGH AND FLAUBERT GOING TO BROTHELS
AND IT MADE NO SENSE...
IT MADE PERFECT SENSE BUT YOU WERE NOT CONCENTRATED. MY KNEE PAIN DID NOT LET ME DO THE LAUNDRY ECT, ECT AND I THOUGHT OF THOSE GUYS WHO HAD SYPHLIS FROM GOING TO BROTHELS AND TILL PAINTED AND WROTE BOOKS
AND WENT OUT DRINKING AND HAD FUN EVEN WHEN THEY HAD THE PAIN OF THOSE SERIOUS ILLNESSES AND I COULDN'T DO THE LAUNDRY AND OTHER CHORES BECAUSE OF MY KNEE PAIN...AND THATS HOW THOSE DEAD, GRAET ARTISTS ARE RELATED TO MY KNEES AND MY PAIN IN THE KNEES...
YOU ARE SICK...
I TOLD YOU THAT. WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATING THAT I AM SICK.
I AM SICK, I HAVE PAIN IN MY BOTH KNEES SINCE 4 MONTHS AND THATS WHY I COULDN'T CLEAN MY BE ROOM...DO YOU GET THAT ?
YOU ARE MENTAL
YES, I AM. YOU WILL BE TOO IF YOU HAD PAIN IN YOUR KNEES FOR SO LONG AND THE DOCTORS JUST TOOK YOUR CO-PAY AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE PROBLEM. ACTUALLY THEY COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THE PAIN IN MY KNEES
AS LONG AS THEY GOT THE CO-PAY AND BULL SHITTED ME ABOUT DO THIS AND DO THAT...GO FOR MRI, THEY KEPT SAYING...
AND THEN WHAT? AFTER THE MRI?
SURGERY, MSS, SURGERY...
BY THE WAY, HOW DID MY KNEE PAIN STARTED ANY WAY ?
WE GAVE YOU THE MEDICINE FOR YOUR BRONCHITIS WHICH TORE YOUR TENDON IN YOUR KNEE...YOU MUST KNOW EVERY MEDICINE HAS SIDE EFFECTS...
AND THAT'S HOW MY KNEE PAIN STARTED AND NOW I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANY DOCTOR OR TAKE ANY MEDICINE. NOW I JUST WANT TO SIT AND CREATE IMAGINARY PEOPLE WHO CAN BULLSHIT ME AS MUCH AS THEY WANT AND AT THE END OF THE DAY I CAN GET RID OF THEM BUT THE KNEE PAIN I CAN'T GET RID OF...
BECAUSE I DIDN'T CREATE THE NIGHTMARE...IT WAS IMAGINARY...IT WAS REAL
AND WAS CREATED BY THE DOCTORS WHO GAVE ME THE WRONG MEDICINE...
NOW YOU KNOW WHY I WONDER ABOUT VAN GOGH AND FLAUBERT...
THEY DID EVERYTHING IN THEIR LIVES BESIDE THEIR PAIN AND ALL I CAN
DO IS TO CREATE SOME BULLSHITTERS WHO BOTHER ME ALL DAY ABOUT THEM GETTING AHEAD....WHILE I LIMP AND LIMP AND LIMP WITH THE PAIN IN MY KNEES
DRY CLEANER
CLEAN THE BED ROOM
VACCUM
EVENING
NOTHING WAS ACCOMPLISHED
TOOK A BOOK AND WENT OUT
THEY ALL WENT TO THE BROTHELS
VANGOGH
GUGANE
FLAUBERT
THEY ALL HAD SYPHLIS
THEY STILL PAINTED AND WROTE BOOKS AND WENT OUT DRINKING ABSINTH
HOW DID THEY DO IT? HOW DID THEY ALL THAT WHILE SUFFERING WITH ALL THOSE DISEASES ?
THEY ARE ALL STARRING AT ME
THOSE BORES
SHE IS A BORE
AND THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE TOO
HE IS A BORE
AND THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE TOO
SHE IS A BORE AND A PHONY
HE IS A BORE AND A PHONY
THEY ARE ALL SHOUTING
THEY ARE ALL CLAIMING THAT THEY ARE GETTING AHEAD
THEY ARE NOT GETTING AHEAD
THEY ARE JUST BULL SHITTING YOU
WHY ARE THEY BULL SHITTING ME ?
BECAUSE THEY BULL SHIT ANY ONE...
SO THEY ARE BULLSHITTERS
BUT OF COURSE...
BUT WHY WOULD THEY BULL SHIT ME ? I AM NOT WITH THEM
THATS WHY. BECAUSE YOU DON'T KNOW THEM, YOU ARE A STRANGER,
THATS WHY THEY CAN BULL SHIT YOU...
LET ME TELL YOU SOMETHING THOUGH..
IT'S EASY TO BULLSHIT A STRANGER. THEY RARE NOT GETTING AHEAD
THEY THINK THEY DO. DON'T LET IT BOTHER YOU...DON'T LET THEM MAKE
YOU UNHAPPY....
IT'S MY KNEE WHICH IS MAKING ME UNHAPPY. IT'S NOT THEM
IT'S NOT THEM
NONE OF THEM
NONE OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT
ACTUALLY THEY DO NOT EXIST
I IMAGINED THEM
YOU IMAGINED THEM?
YES, THEY WERE IMAGINARY. THE RESULT OF MY FERTILE IMAGINATION
THAT DOESN'T SEEM VERY FERTILE, THAT SEEM SICK
YES, I AM SICK WITH THE KNEE PAIN. IT'S MY KNEE PAIN WHICH MADE ME UNHAPPY. IT'S NOT THEM... I IMAGINE THINGS AND THEN HAVE DIALOGUE WITH THEM...ONE CAN HAVE DIALOGUE WITH IMAGINARY THINGS WHEN NO ONE IS AROUND
WHICH IS OFTEN, WHICH IS ACTUALLY ALL THE TIME...
SO, DID YOU IMAGINE VANGOGH AND FLAUBERT AS WELL?
NO. THEY WERE FOR REAL. THEY WERE REAL PEOPLE. DON'T YOU KNOW THAT THEY ARE REAL ?
THEY ARE DEAD, ARN'T THEY?
YES. BUT THEY WERE NOT DEAD WHEN THEY WENT TO THE BROTHELS
AND GOT ILLNESSES...
AND THE OTHERS ?
WHICH OTHERS ?
THE ONE WHO WERE BULLSHITTING YOU ABOUT GETTING AHEAD ?
NO, THEY WERE NOT REAL. THEY WERE IMAGINARY PEOPLE. THERE ARE
LOTS OF PEOPLE WHO ARE REAL WHO ALWAYS TALK ABOUT GETTING AHEAD
WHILE THEY ARE NOT. THEY ALL SIT AND TALK ABOUT GETTING AHEAD WHILE
THEY ARE STILL SITTING...AND ME TOO, I AM STILL SITTING BUT I DON'T TALK ABOUT GETTING HEAD...
WHY DON'T YOU DO THAT AS WELL?
BECAUSE I USUALLY SIT BUT DON'T TALK. I AM MOSTLY ALONE SO I DON'T TALK. BECAUSE IF I WAS TALKING WHILE SITTING ALL ALONE BY MYSELF I WILL LOOK LIKE A MAD WOMAN OR A WOMAN WHO IS WIRED AND TALKING TO SOME ONE
NICE AND LOUD..SO SINCE I AM NIT WIRED AND I HAVE NO ONE TO TALK TO
I IMAGINE PEOPLE WHO ARE BASED ON REAL PEOPLE...
ARE YOU ILL?
YES, I HAVE KNEE PAIN AND I HAVE HAD THIS KNEE PAIN SINCE MARCH AND NOW
ITS JULY..THATS A LOT OF PAIN, SO NOT TO THINK ABOUT THE PAIN I THINK ABOUT PEOPLE AND SINCE I DON'T HAVE PEOPLE IN MY LIFE I INVENT THEM AND TALK TO THEM
OR OBSERVE THEM...THAT GIVES ME A BREAK FROM MY KNEE PAIN..
WHY DON'T YOU CONCENTRATE ON YOUR KNEE PAIN AND DO SOMETHING ABOUT IT
SO YOU CAN GET RID OF IT...
I CAN'T DWELL ON THINGS, THINGS WHICH CAN'T BE CORRECTED. MY PSYCHIATRIST TOLD ME NOT TO DWELL ON THE NEGATIVE AND THE KNEE
PAIN IS NEGATIVE, WOULDN'T YOU SAY?
IT'S POSITIVE TO GET RID OF PAIN...
IF WE ALL GOT RID OF PAIN HOW THE DOCTORS WILL MAKE MONEY?
I GO FROM DOCTOR TO ANOTHER DOCTOR. ALL THEY DO IS TAKE CO-PAY
WHICH GIVES ME MORE PAIN BECAUSE WHEN I COME OUT OF THEIR OFFICES I STILL
HAVE KNEE PAIN AND NO MONEY TO SIT AND EAT. THEY TOOK MY MONEY FOR CO-PAY...AND I DECIDED NOT TO GO TO ANY DOCTOR AND SIT SOME WHER WITH THAT MONEY WHICH GOES FOR CO-PAY AND EAT SOMETHING WITH THAT MONEY AND REST FOR A WHILE ROM THE KNEE PAIN ND WHEN I AM TRYING TO REST AND EAT
THAT'S WHEN I IMAGINE PEOPLE TO OBSERVE THEM SO MY MIND WILL NOT THINK OF THE KNEE PAIN, THE DOCTORS, THE CO-PAY AND ALL THAT...JUST IMAGINE PEOPLE AND WATCH THEM AND HEAR THEM BRAGGING ABOUT GETTING AHEAD...
I KNOW THAT THEY ARE NOT GETTING AHEAD BECAUSE THAY ARE NOT REAL
I INVENTED THEM TO TAKE MY MIND OFF MY KNEE PAIN AND NOW MY OTHER KNEE HAS PAIN AS WELL. MY GOOD KNEE GOT SO SICK OF TAKING OF COMPENSATING FOR THE PAIN OF THE PAINFUL KNEE THAT IT GOT ITS OWN PAIN...NOW BOTH OF MY KNEES HAVE PAIN SO I HAVE TO IMAGINE MORE PEOPLE WHO WILL BRAGG ALL DAY ABOUT THEIR SUCCESS WHILE HEY JUST SIT AND BRAGG AND DO NOTHING ELSE TO BOTHER ME, BUT I DON'T GET BOTHERED NOW BECAUS I AM AWARE THAT THEY ARE NOT REAL...THE ONLY THING WHICH IS REAL IS THE PAIN IN MY BOTH KNEES...
WHAT ABOUT VANGOG AND FLAUBERT?
THEY ARE REAL BUT THEY ARE DEAD, SO THEY CAN'T BULLSHIT ME ABOUT THEM GETTING AHEAD. I KNOW THAT THEY GOT AHEAD,. I CAN LOOK AT THEIR PAINTINGS
AND READ THEIR BOOKS..ACTUALLY I WS READING A BOOK ABOUT FLAUBERT
WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT THEY ALL WENT TO BROTHELS AND GOT ILLNESSES
BUT I KNOW THEY DID GET AHEAD...UNLIKE THE PEOPLE I IMAGINED. THEY NEVER GOT AHEAD, THEY JUST BULLSHITTED ME...
BUT WHAT DID FLAUBERT AND VAN GOGH HAD TO DO WITH YOUR KNEE PAIN ?
THEY ARE FOR SURE RELATED TO MY KNEE PAINS...
REMEMBER MUCH EARLIER I WAS GOING TO CLEAN MY BED ROOM AND DO THE VACCUM AND DO THE LAUNDRY ?
YES, I REMEMBER, YOU MENTIONED SOMETHING LIKE TAHT BUT THEN YOUR ATTENTION ABRUPTLY SHIFTED TO VAN GOGH AND FLAUBERT GOING TO BROTHELS
AND IT MADE NO SENSE...
IT MADE PERFECT SENSE BUT YOU WERE NOT CONCENTRATED. MY KNEE PAIN DID NOT LET ME DO THE LAUNDRY ECT, ECT AND I THOUGHT OF THOSE GUYS WHO HAD SYPHLIS FROM GOING TO BROTHELS AND TILL PAINTED AND WROTE BOOKS
AND WENT OUT DRINKING AND HAD FUN EVEN WHEN THEY HAD THE PAIN OF THOSE SERIOUS ILLNESSES AND I COULDN'T DO THE LAUNDRY AND OTHER CHORES BECAUSE OF MY KNEE PAIN...AND THATS HOW THOSE DEAD, GRAET ARTISTS ARE RELATED TO MY KNEES AND MY PAIN IN THE KNEES...
YOU ARE SICK...
I TOLD YOU THAT. WHY DO YOU KEEP REPEATING THAT I AM SICK.
I AM SICK, I HAVE PAIN IN MY BOTH KNEES SINCE 4 MONTHS AND THATS WHY I COULDN'T CLEAN MY BE ROOM...DO YOU GET THAT ?
YOU ARE MENTAL
YES, I AM. YOU WILL BE TOO IF YOU HAD PAIN IN YOUR KNEES FOR SO LONG AND THE DOCTORS JUST TOOK YOUR CO-PAY AND DIDN'T KNOW WHAT TO DO WITH THE PROBLEM. ACTUALLY THEY COULDN'T CARE LESS ABOUT THE PAIN IN MY KNEES
AS LONG AS THEY GOT THE CO-PAY AND BULL SHITTED ME ABOUT DO THIS AND DO THAT...GO FOR MRI, THEY KEPT SAYING...
AND THEN WHAT? AFTER THE MRI?
SURGERY, MSS, SURGERY...
BY THE WAY, HOW DID MY KNEE PAIN STARTED ANY WAY ?
WE GAVE YOU THE MEDICINE FOR YOUR BRONCHITIS WHICH TORE YOUR TENDON IN YOUR KNEE...YOU MUST KNOW EVERY MEDICINE HAS SIDE EFFECTS...
AND THAT'S HOW MY KNEE PAIN STARTED AND NOW I DON'T WANT TO GO TO ANY DOCTOR OR TAKE ANY MEDICINE. NOW I JUST WANT TO SIT AND CREATE IMAGINARY PEOPLE WHO CAN BULLSHIT ME AS MUCH AS THEY WANT AND AT THE END OF THE DAY I CAN GET RID OF THEM BUT THE KNEE PAIN I CAN'T GET RID OF...
BECAUSE I DIDN'T CREATE THE NIGHTMARE...IT WAS IMAGINARY...IT WAS REAL
AND WAS CREATED BY THE DOCTORS WHO GAVE ME THE WRONG MEDICINE...
NOW YOU KNOW WHY I WONDER ABOUT VAN GOGH AND FLAUBERT...
THEY DID EVERYTHING IN THEIR LIVES BESIDE THEIR PAIN AND ALL I CAN
DO IS TO CREATE SOME BULLSHITTERS WHO BOTHER ME ALL DAY ABOUT THEM GETTING AHEAD....WHILE I LIMP AND LIMP AND LIMP WITH THE PAIN IN MY KNEES
BINA SHARIF'S NOTEBOOKS. NUMBER 4
NOTE BOOK NUMBER 4
CHORES FOR THE DAY....
DRY CLEANER
CLEAN THE BED ROOM
VACCUM
LAUNDRY
AT THE END OF THE DAY
NOTHING WAS ACCOMPLISHED...
WENT OUT WITH A BOOK.
FOUND THAT MORE INTERESTING THAN CLEANING
"FROM THE BOOK...
THEY ALL WENT TO BROTHELS
VAN GUGAIN
GUGAINE
FLAUBERET
AND MANY MORE MEN DID THE SAME
MANY, MANY MANY MORE FAMOUS MEN DID THE SAME
MANY OF THEM HAD SYPHLIS AND THEY STILL PAINTED, WROTE BOOKS
HAD KIDS, WENT OUT...I WONDER HOW THEY DID ALL THAT...
NEXT DAY:
BOOK A ROOM
TYPE AFGHAN WOMAN
PUT IT ON PDF
AND SEND IT TO GMAIL
PACK...
WHERE WAS I GOING ?
DO EXERCISES
IN DUBLIN...
OH! I WAS GOING TO DUBLIN!
GOOGLE THEATER IN DUBLIN
GOGGLE LITERARY AGENTS IN DUBLIN
WHAT FOR?
YOU HAVE NEVER GOOGLED LITERARY AGENTS IN NY
WHY DUBLIN?
HAVE NO IDEA...
EVENING
SHE IS A BORE
THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE AS WELL
HE IS A BORE
THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE AS WELL...
SHE IS A BORE AND PHONY
THAT OTHER ONE IS A SELFISH BITCH
HE IS A BORE AND A PHONY
AND THAT ONE ?
HE IS A SELFISH SON OF A BITCH
THAT ONE IS A GHUSHTI
AND HE IS A TIGHT ASS MISERLY BASTARD
LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING THOUGH
NONE OF THEM ARE GETTING AHEAD
THEY THINK THAT THEY ARE...
BUT THEY ARE NOT GETTING AHEAD
THEY ARE BULL SHITTING YOU
THEY ARE SITTING AND SHOUTING THAT THEY ARE GETTING AHEAD
YOU ARE SITTING TOO...
YOU MUST BE GETTING AHEAD AS WELL
WE ARE ALL BULL SHITTING OURSELVES
FORGET ABOUT THEM
YOU ARE RIGHT
I SHOULD FORGET ABOUT THEM...
ACTUALLY IT'S NOT THEM WHICH IS MAKING ME UNHAPPY
IT'S MY KNEE...
MY KNEE IS MAKING ME VERY UNHAPPY...
IT'S NOT THEM
NONE OF THEM
NONE OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT
PAIN IN THE KNEE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEM
CONCENTRATE ON THAT
ON WHAT?
ON THE PAIN IN YOUR KNEE
ACTUALLY I SHOULD NOT CONCENTRATE ON THE PAIN IN THE KNEE
WHY NOT?
THAT SHOULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW
WHO SAID SO?
YOU DID
I DID? WHEN?
JUST NOW
JUST NOW?
YES, JUST NOW, YOU SAID YOU HAVE PAIN IN THE KNEE
WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT TAHN VAN GOGH AND FLAUBERT
I NEVER SAID THAT
YOU MENTIONED THOSE PEOPLE
THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY KNEE PAIN, I MENTIONED THEM
IN RELATIONSHIP TO BROTHELS
BROTHELS?
YES, BROTHELS, I SAID THEY ALL WENT TO BROTHELS
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I WAS READING A BOOK
AND THE BOOK TOLD YOU THAT THEY WENT TO BROTHELS
YES
AND HOW IS RELATED TO YOUR KNEE PAIN?
IT IS RELATED BECAUSE EARLIER IN THE DAY I WAS THINKING OF CLEANING MY
BEDROOM, DO THE LAUNDRY AND I DID NOTHING AND I THOUGHT ABOUT
ALL THE PAINTERS AND THE WRITERS HOW THEY ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING
BESIDE LIVING WITH AWFUL DISEASES...
AND THEN I DIGRESSED ABOUT SOME IMAGINARY WOMEN AND MEN WHO ALWAYS
BOTHER ME WITH THERE SUCCESS...
BUT YOU SAID THOSE ARE IMAGINARY PEOPLE...
YES, I SAID THAT, MY IMAGINATION IS SO GOOD AND SO REAL THAT IMAGINARY
PEOPLE ASSUME REAL PERSONA'S AND STARTS TO BOTHER ME...
BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT THOSE PEOPLE WERE NOT REAL AND SINCE THEY
WERE NOT REAL IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING REAL WHICH WAS BOTHERING ME
AND THAT'S WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS MY KNEE...THE KNEE PAIN WAS
THE CULPRIT AND THAT'S HOW THE KNEE PAIN WAS RELATED TO THE FAMOUS
DEAD PEOPLE...
YOU ARE ILL
YES, I AM SUFFERING FROM KNEE PAIN
NO, YOU ARE REALLY ILL
YES, I AM, MY KNEE PAIN HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME SINCE MARCH AND IT'S JULY
NOW, WON'T YOU IMAGINE DEAD PEOPLE WITH THAT KIND OF LENGTHY PAIN IN MY KNEE ?
IT'S NOT YOUR KNEE ONLY, IT'S YOUR MIND ...
YES, MY MIND IS ALSO SUFFERING FROM MY KNEE PAIN...
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT
WHAT DID YOU MEAN ?
I MEANT THAT YOU ARE MENTAL
WOULDN'T YOU BE MENTAL IF YOU HAD KNEE PAIN IN ONE OF YOUR KNEES FOR
4 MONTHS AND NOW THE PAIN HAS GONE TO THE OTHER KNEE AS WELL...
THE GOOD KNEE WITHOUT THE PAIN GOT SO SICK OF COMPENSATING FOR THE
PAINFUL KNEE THAT IT STARTED TO HAVE IT'S OWN PAIN...YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET
EXHAUSTED TAKING CARE OF SOME ONE ELSE THEN YOU START HAVING PAIN OF YOUR OWN...
CHORES FOR THE DAY....
DRY CLEANER
CLEAN THE BED ROOM
VACCUM
LAUNDRY
AT THE END OF THE DAY
NOTHING WAS ACCOMPLISHED...
WENT OUT WITH A BOOK.
FOUND THAT MORE INTERESTING THAN CLEANING
"FROM THE BOOK...
THEY ALL WENT TO BROTHELS
VAN GUGAIN
GUGAINE
FLAUBERET
AND MANY MORE MEN DID THE SAME
MANY, MANY MANY MORE FAMOUS MEN DID THE SAME
MANY OF THEM HAD SYPHLIS AND THEY STILL PAINTED, WROTE BOOKS
HAD KIDS, WENT OUT...I WONDER HOW THEY DID ALL THAT...
NEXT DAY:
BOOK A ROOM
TYPE AFGHAN WOMAN
PUT IT ON PDF
AND SEND IT TO GMAIL
PACK...
WHERE WAS I GOING ?
DO EXERCISES
IN DUBLIN...
OH! I WAS GOING TO DUBLIN!
GOOGLE THEATER IN DUBLIN
GOGGLE LITERARY AGENTS IN DUBLIN
WHAT FOR?
YOU HAVE NEVER GOOGLED LITERARY AGENTS IN NY
WHY DUBLIN?
HAVE NO IDEA...
EVENING
SHE IS A BORE
THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE AS WELL
HE IS A BORE
THAT OTHER ONE IS A BORE AS WELL...
SHE IS A BORE AND PHONY
THAT OTHER ONE IS A SELFISH BITCH
HE IS A BORE AND A PHONY
AND THAT ONE ?
HE IS A SELFISH SON OF A BITCH
THAT ONE IS A GHUSHTI
AND HE IS A TIGHT ASS MISERLY BASTARD
LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING THOUGH
NONE OF THEM ARE GETTING AHEAD
THEY THINK THAT THEY ARE...
BUT THEY ARE NOT GETTING AHEAD
THEY ARE BULL SHITTING YOU
THEY ARE SITTING AND SHOUTING THAT THEY ARE GETTING AHEAD
YOU ARE SITTING TOO...
YOU MUST BE GETTING AHEAD AS WELL
WE ARE ALL BULL SHITTING OURSELVES
FORGET ABOUT THEM
YOU ARE RIGHT
I SHOULD FORGET ABOUT THEM...
ACTUALLY IT'S NOT THEM WHICH IS MAKING ME UNHAPPY
IT'S MY KNEE...
MY KNEE IS MAKING ME VERY UNHAPPY...
IT'S NOT THEM
NONE OF THEM
NONE OF THEM ARE IMPORTANT
PAIN IN THE KNEE IS MORE IMPORTANT THAN THEM
CONCENTRATE ON THAT
ON WHAT?
ON THE PAIN IN YOUR KNEE
ACTUALLY I SHOULD NOT CONCENTRATE ON THE PAIN IN THE KNEE
WHY NOT?
THAT SHOULD BE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING RIGHT NOW
WHO SAID SO?
YOU DID
I DID? WHEN?
JUST NOW
JUST NOW?
YES, JUST NOW, YOU SAID YOU HAVE PAIN IN THE KNEE
WHICH IS MORE IMPORTANT TAHN VAN GOGH AND FLAUBERT
I NEVER SAID THAT
YOU MENTIONED THOSE PEOPLE
THAT HAD NOTHING TO DO WITH MY KNEE PAIN, I MENTIONED THEM
IN RELATIONSHIP TO BROTHELS
BROTHELS?
YES, BROTHELS, I SAID THEY ALL WENT TO BROTHELS
HOW DO YOU KNOW?
I WAS READING A BOOK
AND THE BOOK TOLD YOU THAT THEY WENT TO BROTHELS
YES
AND HOW IS RELATED TO YOUR KNEE PAIN?
IT IS RELATED BECAUSE EARLIER IN THE DAY I WAS THINKING OF CLEANING MY
BEDROOM, DO THE LAUNDRY AND I DID NOTHING AND I THOUGHT ABOUT
ALL THE PAINTERS AND THE WRITERS HOW THEY ACCOMPLISHED EVERYTHING
BESIDE LIVING WITH AWFUL DISEASES...
AND THEN I DIGRESSED ABOUT SOME IMAGINARY WOMEN AND MEN WHO ALWAYS
BOTHER ME WITH THERE SUCCESS...
BUT YOU SAID THOSE ARE IMAGINARY PEOPLE...
YES, I SAID THAT, MY IMAGINATION IS SO GOOD AND SO REAL THAT IMAGINARY
PEOPLE ASSUME REAL PERSONA'S AND STARTS TO BOTHER ME...
BUT THEN I REALIZED THAT THOSE PEOPLE WERE NOT REAL AND SINCE THEY
WERE NOT REAL IT HAS TO BE SOMETHING REAL WHICH WAS BOTHERING ME
AND THAT'S WHEN I FOUND OUT THAT IT WAS MY KNEE...THE KNEE PAIN WAS
THE CULPRIT AND THAT'S HOW THE KNEE PAIN WAS RELATED TO THE FAMOUS
DEAD PEOPLE...
YOU ARE ILL
YES, I AM SUFFERING FROM KNEE PAIN
NO, YOU ARE REALLY ILL
YES, I AM, MY KNEE PAIN HAS BEEN BOTHERING ME SINCE MARCH AND IT'S JULY
NOW, WON'T YOU IMAGINE DEAD PEOPLE WITH THAT KIND OF LENGTHY PAIN IN MY KNEE ?
IT'S NOT YOUR KNEE ONLY, IT'S YOUR MIND ...
YES, MY MIND IS ALSO SUFFERING FROM MY KNEE PAIN...
THAT'S NOT WHAT I MEANT
WHAT DID YOU MEAN ?
I MEANT THAT YOU ARE MENTAL
WOULDN'T YOU BE MENTAL IF YOU HAD KNEE PAIN IN ONE OF YOUR KNEES FOR
4 MONTHS AND NOW THE PAIN HAS GONE TO THE OTHER KNEE AS WELL...
THE GOOD KNEE WITHOUT THE PAIN GOT SO SICK OF COMPENSATING FOR THE
PAINFUL KNEE THAT IT STARTED TO HAVE IT'S OWN PAIN...YOU KNOW WHEN YOU GET
EXHAUSTED TAKING CARE OF SOME ONE ELSE THEN YOU START HAVING PAIN OF YOUR OWN...
Saturday, July 6, 2019
NOTEBOOKS NUMBER 3 CONTINUES
NEW CAFE'S
NO ONE WANTS ANY ONE TO READ IN THE SO CALLED, "CAFE'S"
NOW THEY ARE DIMLY LIT AND THEY BECOME WINE BARS AT 4PM.THESE CAFE'S ARE IN THE NEW EXPENSIVE AND PRETENTIOUS EAST VILLAGE.
NO ONE COMPLAINS ABOUT IT OR THE THUNDEROUSLY LOUD MUSIC...
THEY ACTUALLY WELCOME THE DIMLY LIT, OUTRAGEOUSLY LOUD CAFE'S
BECAUSE NO ONE READS ANY MORE.
THEY HAVE THE LIGHT OF THEIR IPHONES...
WHAT ELSE CAN A MODERN HUMAN BEING NEEDS?
ANYWAY, READERS OF BOOKS ARE BEING CONSIDERED OLD, OLD FASHIONED
MEDIEVAL,BACKWARD HAGS.
CONFLICTING FEELINGS TOWARDS THE FAMILY
TOWARDS HER HEART...
"SELF DESTRUCTIVE ,OLDER STREET PERFORMER." Charles Laughton in a film called,
St Martin's Lane
'C0QUETTISH CHARM
GRASPING AMBITION"
"HUNGER"
IF YOU ARE HUNGRY, YOU WILL EAT A BRICK."
YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF HUNGER TO SUCCEED
IN ANYTHING.
"HEARTLESSNESS
REMORSE"
THIS CAFE CALLED, NO WAY CAFE IS DARK, DARK, DARK
"DARKNESS THERE AND NOTHING MORE."
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."
"GOOD MORNING HEARTACHE...
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KNEW ME WELL." Billy Holiday
"LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME
I WILL BE ALONE." ?
"WHY NOT CAFE?
NO WAY CAFE ?
ANY WAY CAFE ?
WHY NOT CAFE?
WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS DAMN CAFE ON CHRISTOPHER STREET ?
PROVOCATION WAS BOTH HIS MISSION AND A NECESSITY " Crozco
"EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DONE AGAINST THE GRAIN, AGAINST THE CURRENT." Crozco
"CONFRONTATIONAL APPROACH."
BANQUET OF THE RICH.
"REJECTION AND INDIFFERENCE." MINUTES OF A MEETING ?
WE ARE ALL WAITING TO DIE.?
2-30 PM WEDNESDAY
TARRALUCHI, MEET ION, DIRECTOR, NORWAY PLAYS..
8 PM, BELASCO THEATER 111 W 44 ST
"O'CONNOR'S AWARENESS OF HER GIFTS GIVES HER A SPECIAL KIND OF INTEREST IN THEM." ?
"BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE A WRITER AND A GOOD ONE. THAT WILL CREATE
MORE INTEREST IN WRITING. " ?
"LEAVE THE DULL CERTAINTIES OF HOME AND GO WANDERING."
"DESTINATION? GREAT WILD WORLD OUT THERE..."
GO WANDERING." ?
"FLANEUR...A STROLLER SAUNTERING THROUGH ANONYMOUS CROWDS
IN A NOISY, GREEDY, UNSCRIPTED PANORAMA OF THE CITY." Pete Hamil
"HE HAS NO EXACT DESTINATION" A POETIC STRAY EMBRACING CHANCE
AND ACCIDENT." ?
"POWERFUL OBSERVATIONS."
POWERS OF DEDUCTION
STRAIGHT TALK
STICK TO INVENTIVENESS
COURAGE AND SENSE OF HONOR
I LACKED ALL QUALITIES OF MODERN SUCCESS, THE BIGGEST ONE WAS, HUSTLE,
AGGRESSION,ASSERTIVENESS." BS
"WE ARE WHO WE WERE." Pete Hamil
"EXCLUSIVE
AVERAGE
TAME
"THINK OF DISCOVERY
OR SELF DISCOVERY
OR DANGER...BS
HOPPING AROUND TO SURPRISE ONLY MYSELF. BS
"SO IT HAPPENED...
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HAPPEN FOR SO LONG
HAPPEND." BS
"NOT TO PLEASE A PAID AUDIENCE...
THEY ARE ADDRESSED TO THOSE NAMELESS FACES HE HAS SEEN IN THE CROWDED STREETS." ?
"A WANDERING WITNESS... FLANEUR..WAITING FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE. Rosenblatt
"HOW LIKE MYSELF I AM." Rosenblatt
LETTERS VS EMAILS
SLOWER
WHIRLING
GESTATION OF INTELLIGENCE AND REASONING FAR FROM THE INSTANT RESPONSES
DEMANDED BY EMAILS...
LETTERS HAD THE POWER TO GRANGIVEN TO NANDANI BY BILLT US A LARGER LIFE AND THEIR PHYSICAL
PRESENCE CARRIES HUMAN TRACES. " ?
MANUSCRIPTS
ARCHIVES
RARE BOOKS....LIBRARY OF EMORY
HARY RANSON CENTER AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT AUSTIN.
"HUMAN COMMUNICATION IS LADEN WITH A GLOOM POTENT." ?
PRECAUTIONS FOR KEVIN AFTER SURGERY
ICE, ICE, WATER WITH LEMON, LOTS OF WATER WITH LEMON, REST.
NOTES ABOUT THE PLAY, "ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA"
IF THERE IS A PLAYWRIGHT INVOLVED IN THE STORY THEN THE PROBLEM
OF THE TEA BAG IN RED VELVET GIVEN TO NANDANI BY BILL MAKES NO SENSE...?
IS IT STILL BILL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE POISON IN THE STORY?
WHAT IS THE MOST LIKELY ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM?
POSSIBILITY OF THE SUSPECTS ARE...
BILL ?
NANDANI ?
YOUNG PLAYWRIGHT ?
ENGLISH WOMAN CRITIC'S STEP CHILDREN ?
SOME ONE AT THE OPENING NIGHT PARTY OF THE PLAY ?
(Struggle of writing the play, ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA BY BS.)
"I THINK, THEREFORE I AM." Descartes
"ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE." Margaret Mead
'EMPTINESS." ?
"WOEFUL RENCH VAGABONDS.
AGING BRITISH POETS." ?
"HOW HOLLOW EVEN OUR
MOST ELABORATE CONVERSATIONAL
RITUALS ARE.." ?
"SPIN ARCANE PHILOSOPHIC HEAD SCRATCHING INTO
REMARKABLY ACCESSIBLE HIGH COMEDY." ?
"PRODUCTIONS SELDOM GIVE FULL VALUE TO THE
DEEP MORTAL CHILL OF THESE PLAYS OF THE FRAUGHT
DANGERS IN PINTER'S UNIVERS OR THE ACHING PATHOS
WITHIN BECKETT'S.
THESE PRODUCTIONS MOSTLY STAY COMFORTABLY
AND TANTALIZINGLY ON THE SURFACE.
ONE SHOULD LEAVE THESE PLAYS WITH A SHIVER AND A SMILE. BEN bRANTLY
"FUTILITY OF LIFE AND FUTILITY OF SPEECH." ?
"DON'T GIVE LECTURES TO HIM. wORDS ARE FUTILKE." BS
"HE IS GROWN UP.
HE IS AN ADULT, SMART, EDUCATED.
HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING.
IT'S BETTER FOR YOU TO SHUT UP." BS
"I AM THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT TO MYSELF.
WHEN I LOOK BACK...
I REALIZE THAT I NEVER HAD REAL ACTORS...
NEITHER IN,
HERE COMES THE CHANGE
COMEDY NIGHT LIVE
MISSING SCENES
MUSLIM DIALOGUE IN MIRRORS CRACKED
COLONY OF ARTISTS
HELP ME JUMP OVER THE SNOW
SEX INDUSTRY
ONE THOUSAND HOURS OF LOVE...
NONE OF THESE SHOWS I EVER HAD ONE DECENT ACTOR EXCEPT KEVIN AND BRIAN....
"PINTER'S VERBAL FINESSE
DOING THEIR BEST TO ONE UP
EACH OTHER IN AUTHORITTATIVELY
DELIVERED NONSENSE."......Ben Brantly
""WE HAVE ALL BECOME AMBIGUOUS ADVERSARIES TO EACH OTHER." ..BS
"HELPLESSLY CEREBRAL...? ME ?
"TWO TRAMPS IN THE WASTELAND
OF SAMENESS AND RECONCILIATIONS...
PORTRAIT OF A MARRIAGE...
STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES OF STAYING TOGETHER..
EVILS AND VIRTUES OF CO-DEPENDENCE." Ben Brantly
"A WAY OF MARKING TIME AND IGNORING ITS INEVITABLE TOLL." Ben Brantly
"I FUCKED UP MY LIFE IN EVERY WHICH WAY." BS
"CALL IS FORWARDED
CALL IS FORWARDED
CALL IS FORWARDED...
SUCH BULLSHIT
SHE IS SO CONFUSED...?
I Bina Sharif FUCKED UP MY LIFE
COMPLETELY,ABSOLUTELY, THROUGHLY.
I AM RESPONSIBLE F
OR THE FUCK UP...
NO ONE ELSE IS TO BE BLAMED
BUT THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEM TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW IS THAT
I AM STILL FUCKING UP THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT...
THATS REALLY BOTHERING ME..
BECAUSE NOW I AM TOTALLY 100% PERCENT AWARE THAT
I HAVE FUCKED UP MY LIFE AND I AM STILL FUCKING IT UP...
AND THATS WHAT IS SO IMMENSELY DISTURBING...
BEFORE, (Earlier in my life ) I DIDN'T THE FUCK UP THE FUCK UPS KNOW, I WASN'T AWARE
THAT I WAS FUCKING UP MY LIFE SYOU HAVE NO RIGHT. O IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME
BUT NOW I AM SO CONSCIOUS OF THE FUCK UPS AND I STILL
CAN'T STOP
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP AND THATS THE REAL
TRAGEDY WHICH PERHAPS WILL BE THE SOURCE OF ULTIMATE BREAKDOWN....
BUT THE MATTER OF FACT STATEMENT IS THAT (As sure as I am of my birth)
I AM SO CERTAIN (100% positive)
THAT I DID FUCK UP MY ENTIRE LIFE AND THAT'S MY CONFESSION.
MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP AND I DID IT. I FUCKED IT ALL UP...SIGNED BY, Bina sharif
P.S. SINCE IT'S TOTALLY FUCKED UP, (my life I mean ) I SHOULD NOW RELAX
AND DON'T GIVE A FUCK BUT SINCE I AM STILL FUCKING IT UP, (my life i mean(
I CAN'T STOP HAVING BREAKDOWNS....Bina Sharif's confession
YOU DON'T AHVE A CHILD, YOU DON'T HAVE A DOG, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT....BS
ABOUT TERRESSA MAY OF ENGLAND
DISPLAY OF GAUCHENESS
NO SMALL TALK
NO BIG TALK
NO IDEAS
NO CHARM
NO WARMTH
FAMOUS FOR MAKING EVERYONE--SHE MEETS PAINFULLY ILL---AT--EASE." ?
TOYNBEE'S
"A STUDY OF HISTORY."
12 VOLUMES
1934---1961
"THE FATE OF CIVILIZATION IS DETERMINED BY THEIR RESPONSE
TO THE CHALLENGES FACING THEM. CIVILIZATION DIE FROM SUICIDE
NOT MURDER." Toynbee
"CIVILIZATION DECAY WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR MORAL FIBRE. "
CULTURAL ELITES TURNS PARASITES EXPLAINING CIVILIZATION." Toynbee
"YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON HOW YOU RESPOND TO A CHALLENGE." Toynbee
GOETHE'S FAUST
DAUDET
SUMAS
VERNE
MAUPASSANT....READ THEM...BS
WED APRIL 17, 2PM
APRIL 24, WED, 2PM
MAY IST WED, 2PM . SHOWS TO BE SEEN WITH EVA
MAY 12, AT THE SHED ,
MAY 26...KING LEAR...TO BE SEEN WITH KEVIN....
"I DITCHED MY iPHONE AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE...CHARLOTTE CHURCH
PASCAL NADON PRESS ????
pascal@pascalnadon.com . ????
"INTEMPRATE AND UNBRIDLED LIER....???
CONTEMPT????
NO ONE WANTS ANY ONE TO READ IN THE SO CALLED, "CAFE'S"
NOW THEY ARE DIMLY LIT AND THEY BECOME WINE BARS AT 4PM.THESE CAFE'S ARE IN THE NEW EXPENSIVE AND PRETENTIOUS EAST VILLAGE.
NO ONE COMPLAINS ABOUT IT OR THE THUNDEROUSLY LOUD MUSIC...
THEY ACTUALLY WELCOME THE DIMLY LIT, OUTRAGEOUSLY LOUD CAFE'S
BECAUSE NO ONE READS ANY MORE.
THEY HAVE THE LIGHT OF THEIR IPHONES...
WHAT ELSE CAN A MODERN HUMAN BEING NEEDS?
ANYWAY, READERS OF BOOKS ARE BEING CONSIDERED OLD, OLD FASHIONED
MEDIEVAL,BACKWARD HAGS.
CONFLICTING FEELINGS TOWARDS THE FAMILY
TOWARDS HER HEART...
"SELF DESTRUCTIVE ,OLDER STREET PERFORMER." Charles Laughton in a film called,
St Martin's Lane
'C0QUETTISH CHARM
GRASPING AMBITION"
"HUNGER"
IF YOU ARE HUNGRY, YOU WILL EAT A BRICK."
YOU HAVE TO HAVE THAT KIND OF HUNGER TO SUCCEED
IN ANYTHING.
"HEARTLESSNESS
REMORSE"
THIS CAFE CALLED, NO WAY CAFE IS DARK, DARK, DARK
"DARKNESS THERE AND NOTHING MORE."
"JUST LEAVE ME ALONE."
"GOOD MORNING HEARTACHE...
YOU ARE THE ONE WHO KNEW ME WELL." Billy Holiday
"LOVE ME OR LEAVE ME
I WILL BE ALONE." ?
"WHY NOT CAFE?
NO WAY CAFE ?
ANY WAY CAFE ?
WHY NOT CAFE?
WHAT IS THE NAME OF THIS DAMN CAFE ON CHRISTOPHER STREET ?
PROVOCATION WAS BOTH HIS MISSION AND A NECESSITY " Crozco
"EVERYTHING SHOULD BE DONE AGAINST THE GRAIN, AGAINST THE CURRENT." Crozco
"CONFRONTATIONAL APPROACH."
BANQUET OF THE RICH.
"REJECTION AND INDIFFERENCE." MINUTES OF A MEETING ?
WE ARE ALL WAITING TO DIE.?
2-30 PM WEDNESDAY
TARRALUCHI, MEET ION, DIRECTOR, NORWAY PLAYS..
8 PM, BELASCO THEATER 111 W 44 ST
"O'CONNOR'S AWARENESS OF HER GIFTS GIVES HER A SPECIAL KIND OF INTEREST IN THEM." ?
"BE AWARE THAT YOU ARE A WRITER AND A GOOD ONE. THAT WILL CREATE
MORE INTEREST IN WRITING. " ?
"LEAVE THE DULL CERTAINTIES OF HOME AND GO WANDERING."
"DESTINATION? GREAT WILD WORLD OUT THERE..."
GO WANDERING." ?
"FLANEUR...A STROLLER SAUNTERING THROUGH ANONYMOUS CROWDS
IN A NOISY, GREEDY, UNSCRIPTED PANORAMA OF THE CITY." Pete Hamil
"HE HAS NO EXACT DESTINATION" A POETIC STRAY EMBRACING CHANCE
AND ACCIDENT." ?
"POWERFUL OBSERVATIONS."
POWERS OF DEDUCTION
STRAIGHT TALK
STICK TO INVENTIVENESS
COURAGE AND SENSE OF HONOR
I LACKED ALL QUALITIES OF MODERN SUCCESS, THE BIGGEST ONE WAS, HUSTLE,
AGGRESSION,ASSERTIVENESS." BS
"WE ARE WHO WE WERE." Pete Hamil
"EXCLUSIVE
AVERAGE
TAME
"THINK OF DISCOVERY
OR SELF DISCOVERY
OR DANGER...BS
HOPPING AROUND TO SURPRISE ONLY MYSELF. BS
"SO IT HAPPENED...
WHAT YOU WANTED TO HAPPEN FOR SO LONG
HAPPEND." BS
"NOT TO PLEASE A PAID AUDIENCE...
THEY ARE ADDRESSED TO THOSE NAMELESS FACES HE HAS SEEN IN THE CROWDED STREETS." ?
"A WANDERING WITNESS... FLANEUR..WAITING FOR THE LIGHT TO CHANGE. Rosenblatt
"HOW LIKE MYSELF I AM." Rosenblatt
LETTERS VS EMAILS
SLOWER
WHIRLING
GESTATION OF INTELLIGENCE AND REASONING FAR FROM THE INSTANT RESPONSES
DEMANDED BY EMAILS...
LETTERS HAD THE POWER TO GRANGIVEN TO NANDANI BY BILLT US A LARGER LIFE AND THEIR PHYSICAL
PRESENCE CARRIES HUMAN TRACES. " ?
MANUSCRIPTS
ARCHIVES
RARE BOOKS....LIBRARY OF EMORY
HARY RANSON CENTER AT THE UNIVERSITY OF TEXAS AT AUSTIN.
"HUMAN COMMUNICATION IS LADEN WITH A GLOOM POTENT." ?
PRECAUTIONS FOR KEVIN AFTER SURGERY
ICE, ICE, WATER WITH LEMON, LOTS OF WATER WITH LEMON, REST.
NOTES ABOUT THE PLAY, "ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA"
IF THERE IS A PLAYWRIGHT INVOLVED IN THE STORY THEN THE PROBLEM
OF THE TEA BAG IN RED VELVET GIVEN TO NANDANI BY BILL MAKES NO SENSE...?
IS IT STILL BILL RESPONSIBLE FOR THE POISON IN THE STORY?
WHAT IS THE MOST LIKELY ANSWER TO THE PROBLEM?
POSSIBILITY OF THE SUSPECTS ARE...
BILL ?
NANDANI ?
YOUNG PLAYWRIGHT ?
ENGLISH WOMAN CRITIC'S STEP CHILDREN ?
SOME ONE AT THE OPENING NIGHT PARTY OF THE PLAY ?
(Struggle of writing the play, ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA BY BS.)
"I THINK, THEREFORE I AM." Descartes
"ALWAYS REMEMBER THAT YOU ARE ABSOLUTELY UNIQUE." Margaret Mead
'EMPTINESS." ?
"WOEFUL RENCH VAGABONDS.
AGING BRITISH POETS." ?
"HOW HOLLOW EVEN OUR
MOST ELABORATE CONVERSATIONAL
RITUALS ARE.." ?
"SPIN ARCANE PHILOSOPHIC HEAD SCRATCHING INTO
REMARKABLY ACCESSIBLE HIGH COMEDY." ?
"PRODUCTIONS SELDOM GIVE FULL VALUE TO THE
DEEP MORTAL CHILL OF THESE PLAYS OF THE FRAUGHT
DANGERS IN PINTER'S UNIVERS OR THE ACHING PATHOS
WITHIN BECKETT'S.
THESE PRODUCTIONS MOSTLY STAY COMFORTABLY
AND TANTALIZINGLY ON THE SURFACE.
ONE SHOULD LEAVE THESE PLAYS WITH A SHIVER AND A SMILE. BEN bRANTLY
"FUTILITY OF LIFE AND FUTILITY OF SPEECH." ?
"DON'T GIVE LECTURES TO HIM. wORDS ARE FUTILKE." BS
"HE IS GROWN UP.
HE IS AN ADULT, SMART, EDUCATED.
HE KNOWS WHAT HE IS DOING.
IT'S BETTER FOR YOU TO SHUT UP." BS
"I AM THE BIGGEST DISAPPOINTMENT TO MYSELF.
WHEN I LOOK BACK...
I REALIZE THAT I NEVER HAD REAL ACTORS...
NEITHER IN,
HERE COMES THE CHANGE
COMEDY NIGHT LIVE
MISSING SCENES
MUSLIM DIALOGUE IN MIRRORS CRACKED
COLONY OF ARTISTS
HELP ME JUMP OVER THE SNOW
SEX INDUSTRY
ONE THOUSAND HOURS OF LOVE...
NONE OF THESE SHOWS I EVER HAD ONE DECENT ACTOR EXCEPT KEVIN AND BRIAN....
"PINTER'S VERBAL FINESSE
DOING THEIR BEST TO ONE UP
EACH OTHER IN AUTHORITTATIVELY
DELIVERED NONSENSE."......Ben Brantly
""WE HAVE ALL BECOME AMBIGUOUS ADVERSARIES TO EACH OTHER." ..BS
"HELPLESSLY CEREBRAL...? ME ?
"TWO TRAMPS IN THE WASTELAND
OF SAMENESS AND RECONCILIATIONS...
PORTRAIT OF A MARRIAGE...
STRENGTHS AND WEAKNESSES OF STAYING TOGETHER..
EVILS AND VIRTUES OF CO-DEPENDENCE." Ben Brantly
"A WAY OF MARKING TIME AND IGNORING ITS INEVITABLE TOLL." Ben Brantly
"I FUCKED UP MY LIFE IN EVERY WHICH WAY." BS
"CALL IS FORWARDED
CALL IS FORWARDED
CALL IS FORWARDED...
SUCH BULLSHIT
SHE IS SO CONFUSED...?
I Bina Sharif FUCKED UP MY LIFE
COMPLETELY,ABSOLUTELY, THROUGHLY.
I AM RESPONSIBLE F
OR THE FUCK UP...
NO ONE ELSE IS TO BE BLAMED
BUT THE MOST DIFFICULT PROBLEM TO HANDLE RIGHT NOW IS THAT
I AM STILL FUCKING UP THE REMAINING DAYS OF MY LIFE
AND BELIEVE IT OR NOT...
THATS REALLY BOTHERING ME..
BECAUSE NOW I AM TOTALLY 100% PERCENT AWARE THAT
I HAVE FUCKED UP MY LIFE AND I AM STILL FUCKING IT UP...
AND THATS WHAT IS SO IMMENSELY DISTURBING...
BEFORE, (Earlier in my life ) I DIDN'T THE FUCK UP THE FUCK UPS KNOW, I WASN'T AWARE
THAT I WAS FUCKING UP MY LIFE SYOU HAVE NO RIGHT. O IT DIDN'T BOTHER ME
BUT NOW I AM SO CONSCIOUS OF THE FUCK UPS AND I STILL
CAN'T STOP
BECAUSE I DON'T KNOW HOW TO STOP AND THATS THE REAL
TRAGEDY WHICH PERHAPS WILL BE THE SOURCE OF ULTIMATE BREAKDOWN....
BUT THE MATTER OF FACT STATEMENT IS THAT (As sure as I am of my birth)
I AM SO CERTAIN (100% positive)
THAT I DID FUCK UP MY ENTIRE LIFE AND THAT'S MY CONFESSION.
MY LIFE IS FUCKED UP AND I DID IT. I FUCKED IT ALL UP...SIGNED BY, Bina sharif
P.S. SINCE IT'S TOTALLY FUCKED UP, (my life I mean ) I SHOULD NOW RELAX
AND DON'T GIVE A FUCK BUT SINCE I AM STILL FUCKING IT UP, (my life i mean(
I CAN'T STOP HAVING BREAKDOWNS....Bina Sharif's confession
YOU DON'T AHVE A CHILD, YOU DON'T HAVE A DOG, YOU HAVE NO RIGHT....BS
ABOUT TERRESSA MAY OF ENGLAND
DISPLAY OF GAUCHENESS
NO SMALL TALK
NO BIG TALK
NO IDEAS
NO CHARM
NO WARMTH
FAMOUS FOR MAKING EVERYONE--SHE MEETS PAINFULLY ILL---AT--EASE." ?
TOYNBEE'S
"A STUDY OF HISTORY."
12 VOLUMES
1934---1961
"THE FATE OF CIVILIZATION IS DETERMINED BY THEIR RESPONSE
TO THE CHALLENGES FACING THEM. CIVILIZATION DIE FROM SUICIDE
NOT MURDER." Toynbee
"CIVILIZATION DECAY WHEN YOU LOSE YOUR MORAL FIBRE. "
CULTURAL ELITES TURNS PARASITES EXPLAINING CIVILIZATION." Toynbee
"YOUR SUCCESS DEPENDS ON HOW YOU RESPOND TO A CHALLENGE." Toynbee
GOETHE'S FAUST
DAUDET
SUMAS
VERNE
MAUPASSANT....READ THEM...BS
WED APRIL 17, 2PM
APRIL 24, WED, 2PM
MAY IST WED, 2PM . SHOWS TO BE SEEN WITH EVA
MAY 12, AT THE SHED ,
MAY 26...KING LEAR...TO BE SEEN WITH KEVIN....
"I DITCHED MY iPHONE AND IT CHANGED MY LIFE...CHARLOTTE CHURCH
PASCAL NADON PRESS ????
pascal@pascalnadon.com . ????
"INTEMPRATE AND UNBRIDLED LIER....???
CONTEMPT????
Thursday, July 4, 2019
NOTEBOOK NUMBER 3 CONTINUES...DAYS AND NIGHTS FRAGMENTED
DAYS AND NIGHTS FRAGMENTED
IDLER
RAMBLER ?
TERRIBLE PAIN
DO SOMETHING DOCTOR ?
THREE TIME MARRIED
THREE TIME LONELY ?
TYRRANICAL FASCISTIC ?
QUINT
FLAUNTING
FLIRTING ?
MARRIED TO ANN
MARRIED TO
IDLER
RAMBLER ?
TERRIBLE PAIN
DO SOMETHING DOCTOR ?
THREE TIME MARRIED
THREE TIME LONELY ?
TYRRANICAL FASCISTIC ?
QUINT
FLAUNTING
FLIRTING ?
MARRIED TO ANN
MARRIED TO
NOTEBOOK NUMBER 3 CONTINUES. ZARINA'S ESTATE
ZARINA'S ESTATE
ZARINA;
IT WAS ALL A MYTH.
THERE WAS NO ESTATE
THERE WAS NO PROMISE OF ANY ESTATE ANYWHERE
NOT ASSIGNED TO ME...
WHETHER YOU BEHAVED OR MISBEHAVED
SO THE SELF BLAME SO UN-NECESSARY AND EVENTUALLY FATAL
OVER SOMETHING WHICH NEVER EXISTED...
NEVER PROMISED
NEVER SEEN
NEVER FELT
NEVER TOUCHED
NEVER MATERIALIZED...
AND THE GUILT
GUILT OVER THE FACT, (Fake fact) THAT ITS MY FAULT
THAT I LOST THE ESTATE...
THE FINAL SUCCESS, THE ESTATE WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE
ONLY IF I BEHAVED PROPERLY AND PLEASED THE SUCCESS GIVERS
ONLY THE GUILT AND BLAME ABOUT LOSING THE ESTATE WHICH NEVER EXISTED
ALL THAT GUILT CREATED BY ME AND MY IMAGINED LOSS...
THE GUILT CREATED BY MY WISHFUL THINKING AND THE FINAL RESULT,
WAS NOTHING BUT MISERY...
NOW ITS JUST THE TORTURE IMAGINED AND SUSTAINED
AND CONTAINED IN THE DEPTH OF MY SOUL CREATING NOTHING BUT EMORSE
AND SADNESS WHILE IT WAS NOTHING BUT A MYTH...
BUT NOW, COULD IT BE STILL MY FAULT FOR LOSING WHAT WAS NEVER THERE?
BOTTOM LINE IS THAT THERE WAS NO ESTATE, NO REWARD...TO BE GIVEN
BY THE ESTATE HOLDER...
THERE WAS NO ESTATE HOLDER THERE TO PLEASE OR DISPLEASE
I IMAGINED EVERYTHING
I IMAGINED THAT I LOST OUT ON THE SUCCESS WHICH WAS PROMISED
TO ME IF I BEHAVED....
BUT NOTHING WAS PROMISED ME
THEY JUST WANTED ME TO BEHAVE
ACCORDING TO THEIR WISHES, THEIR DEMANDS, THEIR DESIRES
THEY WANTED ME TO BE SUBSERVIENT
THEY WANTED ME TO BE FALSE TO MY OWN BELIFS
THEY WANTED ME TO BE QUIET
QUIET ABOUT ALL KINDS OF TRUTHS
THEY WANTED ME TO NOT SPEAK
AND THEN I WILL WIN AN ESTATE
WHICH IS CALLED, "SUCCESS"
IT WAS A FAKE ESTATE
IT WAS A FAKE SUCCESS
JUST THE PROMISE OF SUCCESS
NOT SUCCESS IN ITSELF
THERE WAS NO DOCUMENT OF THAT PROMISED ESTATE
I DIDN'T SIGN ANY DOCUMENTS
FOR MY INHERITANCE...
IT WAS JUST A VERBAL PROMISE
AND I WASTED MY LIFE ON THAT FALSE PROMISE
MY LIFE WHICH WAS MY REAL ESTAE
YES, LIFE, YOUR LIFE ZARINA IS YOUR ESTATE
THE WAY YOUR LIFE WENT AND . IS STILL GOING IS YOUR ESTATE
YOUR INHERITANCE...
GOOD, BAD, RICH, POOR, MEANINGFUL,MEANINGLESS
THAT IS THE ESTATE
ATTACH ANY MEANING TO IT, ANY MEANING YOU WANT
DRAW ANY MEANING OF SUCCESS OR FAILURE TO IT
THAT'S YOUR CHOICE...
IF YOU WANT TO BE MISERABLE ZARINA, (Out of your habit) THEN CALL YOUR
ESTAE A SHRINE OF MISERIES...
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, (So rare) CALL YOUR ESTATE SERIES OF SUCCESS...
IT'S UP TO YOU...
YOU IMAGINED THAT EVERYTHING WAS YOUR FAULT, AND NOW YOU CAN
IMAGINE THAT IT WASN'T...
YOU CAN STILL IMAGINE THAT NOTHING, ACTUALLY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
YOU EVER DID OR DIDN'T DO WAS YOUR FAULT...
THE ESTATE OWMNER, (SUCCES GIVER) THE ONE YOU THINK YOU DISPLEASED
WASN'T THERE, WAS NEVER THERE, HE DIDN'T EXIST, HE NEVER EXISTED...
NOR THE ESTAE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO INHERIT IF YOU BEHAVED PROPERLY
AND PLEASED AND OBYED AND SERVED AND TOLD LIES..
TRUST ME IT WAS A LIE, THE VERBAL PROMISE THAT IF YOU KISSED ASS
THEY WILL GIVE YOU,"SUCCESS" THE SO CALLED, "ESTATE"...
I AM SO GLAD THST YOU DIDN'T DO WHAT THEY WANTED YOU TO DO
I AM SO GLAD ZARINA THAT YOU MISBEHAVED
I AM SO GLAD ZARINA THAT YOU KISSED NO ONE'S ASS TO BE SUCCESSFUL
AND THAT IS YOUR SUCCESS AND THAT IS YOUR ,"ESTATE"
YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU LIVED IT AND THE WAY YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE IS YOUR BIGGEST, "ESTATE" YOUR BIGGEST, "SUCCESS"
THE FALSE PROMISE OF THE FALSE ESTATE WAS TO RUIN YOUR SELF RESPECT, YOUR HONESTY, YOUR SENSE OF THE TRUTH AND YOUR CHARACTER.
DO YOU HAVE YOUR CHARACTER INTACT ZARINA?
IF IT'S A YES, THEN YOU AND YOUR LIFE IS A GEM, ESTATE OR NO ESTAE,
SUCCESS OR NO SUCCESS...
CAN YOU DEFINE SUCCESS ZARINA?
DON'T WORRY, NO ONE CAN.
NO ONE CAN DEFINE REAL, "SUCCESS"
YOUR HONOR IS YOUR SUCCESS
YOUR CHARACTER IS YOUR SUCCESS
YOUR EMPATHY FOR OTHER HUMANS IS YOUR SUCCESS
YOU OWN A HUGE ESTATE ZARINA
YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT?
THATS SAD
BUT NOW YOU KNOW...
ZARINA...NOW YOU KNOW....
ZARINA;
IT WAS ALL A MYTH.
THERE WAS NO ESTATE
THERE WAS NO PROMISE OF ANY ESTATE ANYWHERE
NOT ASSIGNED TO ME...
WHETHER YOU BEHAVED OR MISBEHAVED
SO THE SELF BLAME SO UN-NECESSARY AND EVENTUALLY FATAL
OVER SOMETHING WHICH NEVER EXISTED...
NEVER PROMISED
NEVER SEEN
NEVER FELT
NEVER TOUCHED
NEVER MATERIALIZED...
AND THE GUILT
GUILT OVER THE FACT, (Fake fact) THAT ITS MY FAULT
THAT I LOST THE ESTATE...
THE FINAL SUCCESS, THE ESTATE WHICH WAS SUPPOSED TO BE MINE
ONLY IF I BEHAVED PROPERLY AND PLEASED THE SUCCESS GIVERS
ONLY THE GUILT AND BLAME ABOUT LOSING THE ESTATE WHICH NEVER EXISTED
ALL THAT GUILT CREATED BY ME AND MY IMAGINED LOSS...
THE GUILT CREATED BY MY WISHFUL THINKING AND THE FINAL RESULT,
WAS NOTHING BUT MISERY...
NOW ITS JUST THE TORTURE IMAGINED AND SUSTAINED
AND CONTAINED IN THE DEPTH OF MY SOUL CREATING NOTHING BUT EMORSE
AND SADNESS WHILE IT WAS NOTHING BUT A MYTH...
BUT NOW, COULD IT BE STILL MY FAULT FOR LOSING WHAT WAS NEVER THERE?
BOTTOM LINE IS THAT THERE WAS NO ESTATE, NO REWARD...TO BE GIVEN
BY THE ESTATE HOLDER...
THERE WAS NO ESTATE HOLDER THERE TO PLEASE OR DISPLEASE
I IMAGINED EVERYTHING
I IMAGINED THAT I LOST OUT ON THE SUCCESS WHICH WAS PROMISED
TO ME IF I BEHAVED....
BUT NOTHING WAS PROMISED ME
THEY JUST WANTED ME TO BEHAVE
ACCORDING TO THEIR WISHES, THEIR DEMANDS, THEIR DESIRES
THEY WANTED ME TO BE SUBSERVIENT
THEY WANTED ME TO BE FALSE TO MY OWN BELIFS
THEY WANTED ME TO BE QUIET
QUIET ABOUT ALL KINDS OF TRUTHS
THEY WANTED ME TO NOT SPEAK
AND THEN I WILL WIN AN ESTATE
WHICH IS CALLED, "SUCCESS"
IT WAS A FAKE ESTATE
IT WAS A FAKE SUCCESS
JUST THE PROMISE OF SUCCESS
NOT SUCCESS IN ITSELF
THERE WAS NO DOCUMENT OF THAT PROMISED ESTATE
I DIDN'T SIGN ANY DOCUMENTS
FOR MY INHERITANCE...
IT WAS JUST A VERBAL PROMISE
AND I WASTED MY LIFE ON THAT FALSE PROMISE
MY LIFE WHICH WAS MY REAL ESTAE
YES, LIFE, YOUR LIFE ZARINA IS YOUR ESTATE
THE WAY YOUR LIFE WENT AND . IS STILL GOING IS YOUR ESTATE
YOUR INHERITANCE...
GOOD, BAD, RICH, POOR, MEANINGFUL,MEANINGLESS
THAT IS THE ESTATE
ATTACH ANY MEANING TO IT, ANY MEANING YOU WANT
DRAW ANY MEANING OF SUCCESS OR FAILURE TO IT
THAT'S YOUR CHOICE...
IF YOU WANT TO BE MISERABLE ZARINA, (Out of your habit) THEN CALL YOUR
ESTAE A SHRINE OF MISERIES...
IF YOU WANT TO BE HAPPY, (So rare) CALL YOUR ESTATE SERIES OF SUCCESS...
IT'S UP TO YOU...
YOU IMAGINED THAT EVERYTHING WAS YOUR FAULT, AND NOW YOU CAN
IMAGINE THAT IT WASN'T...
YOU CAN STILL IMAGINE THAT NOTHING, ACTUALLY ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
YOU EVER DID OR DIDN'T DO WAS YOUR FAULT...
THE ESTATE OWMNER, (SUCCES GIVER) THE ONE YOU THINK YOU DISPLEASED
WASN'T THERE, WAS NEVER THERE, HE DIDN'T EXIST, HE NEVER EXISTED...
NOR THE ESTAE YOU WERE SUPPOSED TO INHERIT IF YOU BEHAVED PROPERLY
AND PLEASED AND OBYED AND SERVED AND TOLD LIES..
TRUST ME IT WAS A LIE, THE VERBAL PROMISE THAT IF YOU KISSED ASS
THEY WILL GIVE YOU,"SUCCESS" THE SO CALLED, "ESTATE"...
I AM SO GLAD THST YOU DIDN'T DO WHAT THEY WANTED YOU TO DO
I AM SO GLAD ZARINA THAT YOU MISBEHAVED
I AM SO GLAD ZARINA THAT YOU KISSED NO ONE'S ASS TO BE SUCCESSFUL
AND THAT IS YOUR SUCCESS AND THAT IS YOUR ,"ESTATE"
YOUR LIFE THE WAY YOU LIVED IT AND THE WAY YOU ARE GOING TO LIVE IS YOUR BIGGEST, "ESTATE" YOUR BIGGEST, "SUCCESS"
THE FALSE PROMISE OF THE FALSE ESTATE WAS TO RUIN YOUR SELF RESPECT, YOUR HONESTY, YOUR SENSE OF THE TRUTH AND YOUR CHARACTER.
DO YOU HAVE YOUR CHARACTER INTACT ZARINA?
IF IT'S A YES, THEN YOU AND YOUR LIFE IS A GEM, ESTATE OR NO ESTAE,
SUCCESS OR NO SUCCESS...
CAN YOU DEFINE SUCCESS ZARINA?
DON'T WORRY, NO ONE CAN.
NO ONE CAN DEFINE REAL, "SUCCESS"
YOUR HONOR IS YOUR SUCCESS
YOUR CHARACTER IS YOUR SUCCESS
YOUR EMPATHY FOR OTHER HUMANS IS YOUR SUCCESS
YOU OWN A HUGE ESTATE ZARINA
YOU DIDN'T KNOW IT?
THATS SAD
BUT NOW YOU KNOW...
ZARINA...NOW YOU KNOW....
Wednesday, July 3, 2019
J RUSKIN SAID
J RUSKIN SAID
"RATE OF THE CHANGE WHICH ARE HOUR BY HOUR
IN ACCELARATING CATASTROPHE."
"TRUE NATURE OF OUR LIFE
AND OF ITS POWERS ND RESPONSIBILITIES."
"BITTERNESS OR THE INSIDE OF THE MIND."
"WHAT IS YOUR LIFE?"
"TRANSIENT"
"IT IS TRUE OF THIS CLOUDY LIFE
THAT MAN WALKETH IN A VAIN SHADOW,
AND DISQUIETETH HIMSELF IN VAIN."
"A DRIFTING AND CHANGEFUL SHADE."
"I HAD THE PERFECT FAITH IN THE POWER
OF EVERY GREAT TRUTH OR BEAUTY TO
PREVAIL ULTIMATELY AND TAKE ITS RIGHT PLACE
IN USEFULNESS AND HONOR."
"THE USELESSNESS OF TALKING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE
COULD NOT SEE THEMSELVES."
"GLORY OF IT WAS PERISHABLE AS WELL A INVISIBLE."
FRIGHTFUL DISCOVERY
"THAT THE MOST SPLENDID GENIUS IN THE ARTS
MIGHT BE PERMITTED BY PROVIDENCE TO LABOR
AND PERISH USELESSLY, THAT IN THE VERY FINENESS OF
IT THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING RENDERING IT
INVISIBLE TO ORDINARY EYES."
"THE MORE MY LIFE DISAPPOINTED ME, THE MORE
SOLEMN AND WONDERFUL IT BECAME TO ME."
"THIS INTENSE APATHY IN ALL OF US IS THE
FIRST GREAT MYSTERY OF LIFE."
"SHIPS ARE ARMIES YOU MAY REPLACE
BUT A GREAT INTELLECT ONCE ABUSED,
IS A CURSE TO THE EARTH FOREVER.'
"THE UNCONQUERABLE APATHY IN OURSELVES."
"HOW CAN ANYTHING WE DO BE RIGHT?
HOW CAN ANYTHING WE THINK BE WISE?"
HOMER AND SHAKESPEARE, EVERYTHING ROUND US
IN SUBSTANCE OR IN THOUGHT HAS BEEN MOLDED BY THEM."
"NO TRUE PAINTER EVER SPEAKS
OR EVER HAS SPOKEN, MUCH OF HIS ART.
THE GREATEST SPEAK NOTHING."
"THE MOMENT A MAN CAN REALLY DO HIS WORK
HE BECOME SPEECHLESS ABOUT IT. ALL WORDS,
ALL THEORIES BECOME IDLE TO HIM."
"IN THE DOERS OF THE BEST, THERE IS
AN INNER AND INVOLUNTRY POWER."
"HUMAN ART IS DEPENDENT ON INSTINCT
AND THEN UPON AN AMOUNT OF PRACTICE OF SCIENCE,
AND OF IMAGINATION, DISCIPLINED THOUGH BY THOUGHT
WHICH THE TRUE POSSESSOR OF IT KNOWS TO BE INCOMMUNICABLE.'
"ART IS ACHIEVED NEITHER BY THINKING
NOR SPEAKING."
"GENEROUS HEARTED AND ALWAYS
INTENDING TO DO RIGHT."
"WHATSOEVER THY HAND FINDETH TO DO
DO IT WITH THY MIGHT."
"THE MOMENTS WE FRET AWAY
ARE OUR JUDGES."
"MANY OF US FOR THE MOST PART THINKING,
NOT OF WHAT WE ARE TO DO BUT WHAT WE
ARE TO GET."
"HOW MUCH WORK I HAVE DONE TODAY FOR MY DINNER?"
"IF ANY MAN WILL NOT WORK, NEITHER SHOULD HE EAT."
"BE CARING, BUT LET PEOPLE BE.GOOD, BAD, SELF DESTRUCTIVE,
WHATEVER, LET PEOPLE BE."BS
"YOU JUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF
(Which you have never ever learnt to do)
AND WHATEVER COMES WITH IT...
APT,WRITING, PLAYS, WEIGHT, COMPUTER, CLOTHES, FOOD
WHATEVER ELSE, TAKE CARE." BS
"RATE OF THE CHANGE WHICH ARE HOUR BY HOUR
IN ACCELARATING CATASTROPHE."
"TRUE NATURE OF OUR LIFE
AND OF ITS POWERS ND RESPONSIBILITIES."
"BITTERNESS OR THE INSIDE OF THE MIND."
"WHAT IS YOUR LIFE?"
"TRANSIENT"
"IT IS TRUE OF THIS CLOUDY LIFE
THAT MAN WALKETH IN A VAIN SHADOW,
AND DISQUIETETH HIMSELF IN VAIN."
"A DRIFTING AND CHANGEFUL SHADE."
"I HAD THE PERFECT FAITH IN THE POWER
OF EVERY GREAT TRUTH OR BEAUTY TO
PREVAIL ULTIMATELY AND TAKE ITS RIGHT PLACE
IN USEFULNESS AND HONOR."
"THE USELESSNESS OF TALKING ABOUT WHAT PEOPLE
COULD NOT SEE THEMSELVES."
"GLORY OF IT WAS PERISHABLE AS WELL A INVISIBLE."
FRIGHTFUL DISCOVERY
"THAT THE MOST SPLENDID GENIUS IN THE ARTS
MIGHT BE PERMITTED BY PROVIDENCE TO LABOR
AND PERISH USELESSLY, THAT IN THE VERY FINENESS OF
IT THERE MIGHT BE SOMETHING RENDERING IT
INVISIBLE TO ORDINARY EYES."
"THE MORE MY LIFE DISAPPOINTED ME, THE MORE
SOLEMN AND WONDERFUL IT BECAME TO ME."
"THIS INTENSE APATHY IN ALL OF US IS THE
FIRST GREAT MYSTERY OF LIFE."
"SHIPS ARE ARMIES YOU MAY REPLACE
BUT A GREAT INTELLECT ONCE ABUSED,
IS A CURSE TO THE EARTH FOREVER.'
"THE UNCONQUERABLE APATHY IN OURSELVES."
"HOW CAN ANYTHING WE DO BE RIGHT?
HOW CAN ANYTHING WE THINK BE WISE?"
HOMER AND SHAKESPEARE, EVERYTHING ROUND US
IN SUBSTANCE OR IN THOUGHT HAS BEEN MOLDED BY THEM."
"NO TRUE PAINTER EVER SPEAKS
OR EVER HAS SPOKEN, MUCH OF HIS ART.
THE GREATEST SPEAK NOTHING."
"THE MOMENT A MAN CAN REALLY DO HIS WORK
HE BECOME SPEECHLESS ABOUT IT. ALL WORDS,
ALL THEORIES BECOME IDLE TO HIM."
"IN THE DOERS OF THE BEST, THERE IS
AN INNER AND INVOLUNTRY POWER."
"HUMAN ART IS DEPENDENT ON INSTINCT
AND THEN UPON AN AMOUNT OF PRACTICE OF SCIENCE,
AND OF IMAGINATION, DISCIPLINED THOUGH BY THOUGHT
WHICH THE TRUE POSSESSOR OF IT KNOWS TO BE INCOMMUNICABLE.'
"ART IS ACHIEVED NEITHER BY THINKING
NOR SPEAKING."
"GENEROUS HEARTED AND ALWAYS
INTENDING TO DO RIGHT."
"WHATSOEVER THY HAND FINDETH TO DO
DO IT WITH THY MIGHT."
"THE MOMENTS WE FRET AWAY
ARE OUR JUDGES."
"MANY OF US FOR THE MOST PART THINKING,
NOT OF WHAT WE ARE TO DO BUT WHAT WE
ARE TO GET."
"HOW MUCH WORK I HAVE DONE TODAY FOR MY DINNER?"
"IF ANY MAN WILL NOT WORK, NEITHER SHOULD HE EAT."
"BE CARING, BUT LET PEOPLE BE.GOOD, BAD, SELF DESTRUCTIVE,
WHATEVER, LET PEOPLE BE."BS
"YOU JUST TAKE CARE OF YOUR SELF
(Which you have never ever learnt to do)
AND WHATEVER COMES WITH IT...
APT,WRITING, PLAYS, WEIGHT, COMPUTER, CLOTHES, FOOD
WHATEVER ELSE, TAKE CARE." BS
NOT MEANT FOR THE KITCHEN
NOT MEANT FOR THE KITCHEN
NOT MEANT FOR THE KITCHEN.
NO. NOT AT ALL.
"GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN...
GET OUT OF THE APT.'
"TAKE A SHOWER AT NIGHT.
THE MOMENT YOU WAKE
WASH UP, GET DRESSED AND GO OUT.
NO ACTIVITY IN THE KITCHEN"
"PREPARE SOMETHING,
A SAND WITCH, SALAD, AT NIGHT BEFORE
TAKE IT WITH YOU...
OR JUST A PIECE OF FRUIT
AND GET OUT OF THE APT...
DON'T BE IN THE KITCHEN
GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
THAT'S ESSENTIAL FOR YOU ESPECIALLY
YOU ARE AN ASIAN WOMAN
ASIAN LADIES SPEND A LIFE TIME IN THE KITCHEN
FORCE YOURSELF TO GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
YOU ARE NOT THE TYPE...
GO MINGLE WITH PEOPLE
YOU ARE GOOD AT THAT...
MINGLE WITH ANY ONE...
GO TO A COFFEE SHOP AND MINGLE WITH THE WAITERS
MINGLE WITH BUS BOYS
ANY ONE YOU CAN FIND
MINGLE WITH THEM
GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
WHO ARE YOU GOING TO MINGLE WITH IN THE KITCHEN?
POTS?
PANS?
PLATES?
SPOONS?
FRYING PANS?
DISHES?
DISH WASHER SOAP?
KNIVES?
DON'T DEAL WITH KNIVES
THEY GIVE YOU IDEAS TO KILL SOME ONE...,
JUST GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
GET OUT OF THE APT
OTHERWISE YOU WILL GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN
YOU ARE AN ASIAN WOMAN...
YOU GO OUT AND READ AND WRITE
YOU GO OUT AND DRAW SILLY PICTURES
THAT'S WHO YOU ARE
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE MEANT FOR
NOT FOR THE STOVE
NOT FOR THE SINK
NOT FOR THE LAUNDRY
NOT FOR MOPPING
NOT FOR CLEANING
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
LET THE DUST SETTLE EVERYWHERE
YOU JUST GET OUT OF THE DAMN KITCHEN.
NOT MEANT FOR THE KITCHEN.
NO. NOT AT ALL.
"GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN...
GET OUT OF THE APT.'
"TAKE A SHOWER AT NIGHT.
THE MOMENT YOU WAKE
WASH UP, GET DRESSED AND GO OUT.
NO ACTIVITY IN THE KITCHEN"
"PREPARE SOMETHING,
A SAND WITCH, SALAD, AT NIGHT BEFORE
TAKE IT WITH YOU...
OR JUST A PIECE OF FRUIT
AND GET OUT OF THE APT...
DON'T BE IN THE KITCHEN
GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
THAT'S ESSENTIAL FOR YOU ESPECIALLY
YOU ARE AN ASIAN WOMAN
ASIAN LADIES SPEND A LIFE TIME IN THE KITCHEN
FORCE YOURSELF TO GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
YOU ARE NOT THE TYPE...
GO MINGLE WITH PEOPLE
YOU ARE GOOD AT THAT...
MINGLE WITH ANY ONE...
GO TO A COFFEE SHOP AND MINGLE WITH THE WAITERS
MINGLE WITH BUS BOYS
ANY ONE YOU CAN FIND
MINGLE WITH THEM
GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
WHO ARE YOU GOING TO MINGLE WITH IN THE KITCHEN?
POTS?
PANS?
PLATES?
SPOONS?
FRYING PANS?
DISHES?
DISH WASHER SOAP?
KNIVES?
DON'T DEAL WITH KNIVES
THEY GIVE YOU IDEAS TO KILL SOME ONE...,
JUST GET OUT OF THE KITCHEN
GET OUT OF THE APT
OTHERWISE YOU WILL GO BACK TO THE KITCHEN
YOU ARE AN ASIAN WOMAN...
YOU GO OUT AND READ AND WRITE
YOU GO OUT AND DRAW SILLY PICTURES
THAT'S WHO YOU ARE
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE ABOUT
THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE MEANT FOR
NOT FOR THE STOVE
NOT FOR THE SINK
NOT FOR THE LAUNDRY
NOT FOR MOPPING
NOT FOR CLEANING
NO, NO, NO, NO, NO, NO.
LET THE DUST SETTLE EVERYWHERE
YOU JUST GET OUT OF THE DAMN KITCHEN.
LEARN
LEARN
"ISN'T IT SAD
THAT I HAVE THE SAME
EXACT PROBLEMSSINCE DECADES
AND I HAVE NEITHER SOLVED THEM
NOR HAVE I BEEN ABLE TO GET RID OF THEM."
"A TERRIBLE TRAFEDY
TERRIBLE WASTE OF TALENT,
ABILITY, EMOTIONS AND LIFE FORCE."
"IF YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THE PROBLEMS
LEARN TO LIVE WITH THEM AND BE CONTENT AND NOT BE MISERABLY UNHAPPY."
"MY LIFE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS."
I SAID TO A FRIEND
AND THE FRIEND SAID
"HOW DO YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT IT WASN'T GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?"
AND I WAS AMAZED AT HER QUESTION
YES, HOW DID I KNOW THAT LIFE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS?
OR, HOW DO I KNOW THAT LIFE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS?"
"ISN'T IT SAD
THAT I HAVE THE SAME
EXACT PROBLEMSSINCE DECADES
AND I HAVE NEITHER SOLVED THEM
NOR HAVE I BEEN ABLE TO GET RID OF THEM."
"A TERRIBLE TRAFEDY
TERRIBLE WASTE OF TALENT,
ABILITY, EMOTIONS AND LIFE FORCE."
"IF YOU CAN'T GET RID OF THE PROBLEMS
LEARN TO LIVE WITH THEM AND BE CONTENT AND NOT BE MISERABLY UNHAPPY."
"MY LIFE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS."
I SAID TO A FRIEND
AND THE FRIEND SAID
"HOW DO YOU KNOW? HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT IT WASN'T GOING TO BE LIKE THIS?"
AND I WAS AMAZED AT HER QUESTION
YES, HOW DID I KNOW THAT LIFE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS?
OR, HOW DO I KNOW THAT LIFE WASN'T SUPPOSED TO BE LIKE THIS?"
NOTEBOOK NUMBER 3
NOTEBOOK NUMBER 3
ORIGINAL PLAYS WITH ENGLISH THEMES TO BE WRITTEN
BY
BINA SHARIF
SOME DAY I WILL VISIT DEVON
TO FIND MY ENGLISH LOVER.
"LOVE HAS GONE TO DEVON"
"LOVE OF AN ENGLISH MAN"
"ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA"
"LONDON, I WILL LOVE YOU AGAIN"
"WE CAME FROM ENGLAND"
"LOOKING FOR YOU IN ENGLAND"
"AN IMAGINARY ENGLISH LOVER"
"I CAME TO LOOK FOR YOU IN LONDON."
GUIDO GUINICELLI ?
MARMONTEL ?
DEAN SWIFT ?
SEARCH FOR THEM IN GOOGLE
"YOUR DUTY...
DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST INSULT....
ORIGINAL PLAYS WITH ENGLISH THEMES TO BE WRITTEN
BY
BINA SHARIF
SOME DAY I WILL VISIT DEVON
TO FIND MY ENGLISH LOVER.
"LOVE HAS GONE TO DEVON"
"LOVE OF AN ENGLISH MAN"
"ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA"
"LONDON, I WILL LOVE YOU AGAIN"
"WE CAME FROM ENGLAND"
"LOOKING FOR YOU IN ENGLAND"
"AN IMAGINARY ENGLISH LOVER"
"I CAME TO LOOK FOR YOU IN LONDON."
GUIDO GUINICELLI ?
MARMONTEL ?
DEAN SWIFT ?
SEARCH FOR THEM IN GOOGLE
"YOUR DUTY...
DEFEND YOURSELF AGAINST INSULT....
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