Going this way and that way
But never getting there
Where ever I am going
It seems like I go there every day
And there are many ways to get there
There are short cuts
And round a bouts
I think I am going to school
Seems like I am holding books in my hand
Books and school notebooks
We used to carry things pin our hands
Did I not have a backpack?
No back packs are used in the western schools
Heavy backpacks on children's backs
We carried everything within our arms
We were born somewhere else
Thats why I can't find my way
Its not my way
The streets are not familiar
The people are not familiar
Their talk is not familiar
Everyone understand each other except me
I feel people lie to me a lot
Tat makes me feel stupid
Or they think that I am stupid
She never tells the truth
I know someone
She cuts corners
Never tells the truth
But why should I search for the truth?
I don't
But I can't be loyal to any one unless I feel they are telling the truth
Truth as we believe it
As much truth as we can feel it
Because who knows what the truth is
The only one who knows what the truth is the one who is lying
People respect no one
They tell you that they love you
But thats the biggest lie of it all
Its so easy for every one here to say, "I love you."
And, "I love you too,"
While no one does
No one loves no one
I am lost
Lost in my dream
And lost during the day
I go to the same cafe
'Whats the matter?"
'I am bored."
"So bored."
'The biggest enemy of life is boredom." I just read it somewhere
Where did I read it?
I don't remember
I just read it some where
ut where?
I don't remember.
I read it just recently
Maybe yesterday
But in which book?
I haven't been reading any books recently
Neither the news papers
But news papers won't say anything so profound
I wonder whats happening with my memory?
Of course I don't remember my dreams properly
The moment I sit down to write about it
It vanishes
It evaporates
It just goes away from my mind
It becomes foggy
Like London fog
What a nice word
,'LONDON FOG."
I used to love London
I used to be so excited about London,
The National theatre
The Tate Modern
The Holland Park
Kensington gardens
Royal court theatre
No excitement any more
And I am on my way to London
But no excitement any more
No excitement at all
All the plays from National theater now come here
Lots of money to pay to see them on Broadway
But I used to go to London to see them
That was far more money than going to Broadway
And I am on my way to London
And no excitement at all
None
I am actually bored by the whole thing
'The biggest enemy of life is boredom."
Who said that?
Can't remember
Where did I read it?
Can't remember
I read it somewhere
Recently
Can't remember
Every thing is foggy like a dream
Then all of a sudden I am on top of the heath
Hampstead Heath in London perhaps?
Perhaps
There is water below
Lots of water
A beautiful view
A long tree ridden path with water on the side
Is it the lake?
Or is it the sea?
I think its the sea
There is lots of water.
"When you dream of water, its a good dream."
My mother used to say
My poor mother
We all neglected her
Left her for London and New York
And now we are bored with both
No excitement
None at all
Water in the dream is a good thing
So this dream should not be titled, "Awful."
It should be titled, "A wonderful dream."
But it wasn't…
I couldn't find my way
On the Heath some important people were walking behind me
Important people such as Vanessa Redgrave
I met her once
I also met her brother, Corin Redgrave
I have a picture with him
I do
I swear I do
I don't lie much
I want to
I so very much want to lie to every one like every one else
I must
To live here I must lie
Or at least not tell the truth
I even had dinner with Corin Redgrave and his wife at the restaurant
in National Theatre….
That was after his performance of De Profundus I think
Oscar Wilde's De Profundus
Or was it something else by Oscar Wilde ?
I have to check
But it was a one man show
And he was sick
And he was brilliant
And then we had dinner with them
And now in my dream Vanessa Redgrave was walking behind me on the heath and the sea was below us
Thats a nice dream
I should get excited
Such Important people of my dreams
And I am still bored
Get excited
In a few hours you are going to take the plane to London
You might run into Vanessa there
Corin is long gone
He died……………
'This one is a long route I took."
I say to myself in my dream
But I am confident that I will get there
Even if its a long way
Then all of a sudden I am in a room or a court yard
Many young women there
Wearing Burqa, an Islamic garb
Now I must be in an Islamic country or city or whatever
One Burqa clad woman says to me, "Oh! you are still here?"
"You will be late." "You will be at least 15 minutes late." She says
I am hardly ever late in my real life
I am actually early
Always waiting for others to arrive
Always waiting for others
Always early
Waiting
In my dreams I am afraid of being late
I am afraid of missing the plane
I am afraid of not finding my passport.
You better leave this dream behind and get going
You are actually catching a plane to London
Get up and get going
Otherwise you might miss the plane
The planes are like, "TIME"
The plane never waits for any one just like the time
Time just goes alone, just goes, time flies like the plane
Do you know where your passport is?
Do you know what to pack?
You haven't packed yet?
And you are leaving in a few hours…………
Get up girl
And get going
Get ready
Don't bring your dreams into your real life
In life you are never late
Get up and get your self together
Otherwise your life will become an awful dream
Get up and get excited for a month or two
After all the British currency is double than the dollar
And you are spending a lot of money
Get excited about London
Otherwise it would be such a waste……………………..
Do you know where your passport is?………..
