Tuesday, June 19, 2018

BORED

BORED

I AM SO BORED WITH THIS ONE

AND I AM ALSO VERY BORED WITH THE OTHER ONE

AND BORED WITH THE THIRD ONE.

VERY BORED

JUST BORED

TOTALLY BORED WITH ALL OF THEM

REMAIN URGENT

REMAIN URGENT

You must remain urgent at all times

Do not lose your fire, your enthusiasm,passion, energy

under any circumstance.

Shake off the feel of defeat.

Very negative

Do not call anyone

Especially the useless selfish ones

Do your work

WHATEVER INTERESTS YOU IS YOUR WORK

WRITE ABOUT THINGS WHICH MATTER TO YOU

THINGS YOU DO CARE ABOUT.

ALSO WRITE FOR YOURSELF

FOR YOUR OWN THERAPY, FOR YOUR OWN SANITY,

FOR KEARNING AND FOR FUN.


WIVES, HUSBANDS

WIVES, HUSBANDS

WIVES:  WHITE AMERICAN WIVES

                WHITE ENGLISH WIVES

HUSBANDS:  DARK BRITSH MUSLIM MEN

                         DARK AMERICAN MUSLIM MEN

BOTH DARK MUSLIM HUSBANDS BEATUP THEIR WHITE WIVES IN AMERICA AND

BRITAIN.

THATS WHAT THHE MUSLIM AMERICAN AND MUSLIM BRITISH  WRITERS (MEN) ARE

WRITING ABOUT TO BE PART OF THE ESTABLISHMENT, TO REINFORCE THEIR BELIEF

THAT MUSLIM MEN BEAT THEIR WIVES.

AND THE AUDIENCE, THE PRODUCER AND THE CRITIC FEEL SO GOOD ABOUT IT

AND SAY AFTER THE SHOW OVER A GLASS OF WINE. "DIDN'T I TELL YOU THAT

MUSLIM MEN BEAT UP THEIR WIVES?"  "ITS IN THEIR RELIGION, ISLAM TEACHES

MUSLIM MEN TO BEAT UP THEIR WIVES."  AND THEN THEY THROW THEM AN

AWARD, A PRODUCTION, MANY PRODUCTIOS INDEED TO SPREAD THE WORD ALL

OVER THHE WORLD..

NO GUYS, ISLAM DOESN'T TEACHES MUSLIM MEN TO BEAT UP THEIR WIVES.  THEY

JUST WANT TO MAKE YOU HAPPY SO YOU CAN GIVE THEM AN AWATRD AND

PRODUCE THEIR PLAYS AND MAKE THEM FAMOUS.

THEY ARE MANIPULATING YOU AND ISLAM.  THEY SAY WHAT YOU WANT TO HEAR.

THE SCENE OF BEATING A WIFE IN A PLAY WRITTEB BY A MUSLIM MAN, AMERICAN

OR BRITISH HAS BECOME A MUST SCENE.

SO FAR I HAVE WITNESSED THE "BEAT UP YOUR WHITE WIFE" IN THE FOLLOWING

PLAYS

EAST IS EAST, (BRITISH MUSLIM MALE PLAYWRIGHT)

DISGRACED, (MUSLIM AMERICAN MALE PLAYWRIGHT)

AN ORDINARY MUSLIM, (BRITISH MUSLIM MALE PLAYWRIGHT)

ALL AWARDED, ALL ACCLAIMED....

FOR THE HECK OF IT...

FOR THE HECK OF IT

Just for the heck of it send your plays everywhere

Send your plays to the regional theater for the heck of it

Send your plays to England just for the heck of it

Send your plays to Canada just for the heck of it....

Learn to love rejection

SEND YOUR PLAYS EVERYWHERE SO YOU CAN BE REJECTED

LEARN TO LOVE REJECTION

YOUR PURPOSE TO SEND YOUR PLAYS VERYWHERE SHOULD BE REJECTION...

IT WILL BE SO MUCH FUN TO HAVE THE LETTER YOU REALLY WANT

"THE REJECTION"

HOW MANY PEOPLE WILL WANT THAT?

YOU ARE NOT ONE OF THE ORDINARY

YOU ARE ONE OF THE MOST EXTRAORDINARY

A SPECIAL INDIVIDUAL WITH STRONG DESIRES.

DESIRE REJECTION

YOU WILL BE SO THRILLED...

NOW SEND YOUR PLAYS TO ALL OF THE...

ALL F THEM, THE ONE'S WHO WILL FOR SURE REJECT YOU

AND THEN HAVE A BIG LAUGH...

KEEP LAUGHING DARLING

KEEP LAUGHING...

GREAT FOR YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM AND FOR YOUR HAPPINESS

YOU DESERVE ALL THE HAPPINESS AND THE REJECTION IS THE

GREATEST HAPPINESS.

ITS NOT A JOKE...

ITS NOT OUT OF SOME KIND OF DESPERATION

I MEAN IT

THUS IS THE REMEDY

REMEDY FOR YOUR MALADY....

WRITE A NOTE ON THE COVER PAGES OF ALL YOUR PLAYS BEFORE YOU POST THEM

"PLEASE REJECT ME, FOR HEAVENS SAKE REJECT ME."

"THATS ALL I WANT...THATS ALL I WANT...I WANT REJECTION, ULTIMATE SOURCE OF

RELIEF AND JOY."

I HAVE NEVER BEEN MORE SERIOUS IN MY LIFE.  "I JUST WANT REJECTION, NOTHING

ELSE."

PROGRAM OF THE DAY, PROGRAM OF THE NIGHT

PROGRAM OF THE DAY, PROGRAM OF THE NIGHT

Lose weight

Nutrition

Dress better

Go to lafayette with computer and work all day

Blog, artsinternational, take it more seriously.

Cover theater, film, visual arts, food

EH, have more contact

Art house?  readings and performances

Open mikes

Equity showcases

Get out of the apt much earlier, no computer activity at that kitchen window

Avoid all things against the POSSIBILITY OF HAPPINESS

Museums and art galleries

MOVE MORE...

LETS DEAL WITH IT TODAY

LETS DEAL WITH IT TODAY

We never stood up for anything especially against people

who were unjust to us in one way or the other...

We always took it in...

But it effected us, of course it did.

Most of te people are awful.

Some are racists

Some are more racists

And some are more than racists...

No matter how you look at it

How you want to deal with it

Nothing really works

They are lucky

They just get away with it

Get away with everything

Always have an excuse

Always have an alternative story

Story which makes no sense....

They think we are stupid...

And we are somehow...

We let them get away with it...

No   which way you look at it

No matter how you look at them

It means the same....

Same nastiness

Same rudeness

Same condescension

So what are you going to do about it?

Today I am going to bury this issue

The issue of how people get away with everything

And the pain and hurt they leave behind...

No lingering pain

No lingering hurt

No lingering regret

Today I am going to bury the issue

Today is the funeral.

Today is the burial of it....

'IT'  Also mean a BRICK

A brick with no feelings

Not even a brick

This issue is a cement block

A marble wall

A wall with wires

A sone like, SYSIPHIS

A huge stone which one spend a whole day rolling up

And at the end of the day it rolls back down

Its a punishment

A futile activity....

A sever punishment for life...

Fruitless effort

No positive results ever...

Today is the funeral of all this futile activity

This thinking full of pain

Its going to be buried today

Its going to be buried today

Its going to be buried today

"DONE AND DUSTED"

Like the English say...

"DONE AND DUSTED>"

No talk of this and that any more

Did you notice that you talk about the useless issues and useless people more tan anything

constructive?

Thats amazing discovery for you

All negative energy...all day long...all night long

For weeks and months  and years...

How you have wasted your precious time, your energy, your strength, your DNA even...

Your DNA is loaded with negative things...

You spend time on people of no significance, issues of no importance,

all day long...

Amazing...

Amazingly sad...

BURY IT

HAVE A FUNERAL

AND BE DONE WITH IT FOR ALL TIMES TO COME

TODAY ON 8TH OF MARCH 2018, TODAY IS THE FUNERAL, TODAY IS THE BURIAL

OF NONSENSE IN YOUR LIFE...

TODAY IS THE END\

TDAY IS THE END OF INSIGNIFICANCE

INSIGNIFICANCE IS BURIED FINALLY.

IT CAN'T COME BACK

EVEN IF YOU WANT IT TO COME BACK...

IT WON'T...

Its dead...

This episode is dead.

Buried under the ground

Inside of dirt

With mosquitos

Can't come back

Can't frighten you any more

Can't hurt you any more

Can't be evil to you any more...

Gone, the evil is gone

Dead and buried...

You are prohibited to talk about the dead things...

You can't even think about it

Think of the lovely things

Think of the lovely people

Think about the beauty

Beauty of life...

Instead of that you have been thing of evil...

SEE HOW YOU ARE DESTROYING YOUR IMMUNE SYSTEM?\


AND THEN HE NEVER CAME ....

AND THEN HE NEVER CAME

"And then he never came and I never did forget him"
(Gertrude Stein)

'A dog has to look at you"
(GS)

"Have you heard of me?"
(GS)

"Everybody stopped everything to be excited."
(GS)

"Everybody began to miss something"
(GS)

"Its wonderful how things pile up even if nothing is added."
(GS)

"When I have to have it, then, I have to hve it"
(GS)

"Little by little she was not entirely there before she was elsewhere"
(GS)

GENIUS

GENIUS

"What am I looking for?"

She said to herself

'I have my genius"

"So what else am I looking for?"

It was a nice family but they easily lost each other.

"What shall I do now?"

"Now what shall I do?"

TWIN

I should have a twin so I will have some body to talk to when I am alone.

Alone and busy thinking--always thinking--Thinking is so tiring.

More tiring than talking.  Talking is so refereshing.  I am going to have a twin so I can talk to her.

(Based on Gertrude Stein's book, Ida)


Friday, June 8, 2018

FOODS THAT FIGHT PAIN

FOODS THAT FIGHHT PAIN

Bing Cherries

Ginger

Avocado oil

Soy bean oil

Fish

Vit C

Omega three fatty acids

Citrus

Berries

Bell peppers

All rich in Vit C

Celery

Cherries

Dried  tart Cherries

Oats, (High in magnesium)

Oat bara, (Cooked0

Oat meal

Almonds

Broccoli

Pumpkin seeds

Tart Cherries

Rose hip tea

Tart cherry

 JuiceTumeric

Figs

BeansGreen leaf vegetables

B Complex

B12

B6

Mult Vitamins

Vit D3

Glucosamine

AND BE HAPPY

AVOID STRESS



OBSERVATION

OBSERVATION

He had soup and half of a sandwitch

She had a big danish

They were in a fancy French cafe

And then they talked

Small talk....

WHEN WOMEN ARE TOGETHER

When women are together they always talk if their absent woman friend

And they always talk bad of her...

SAVIORS COMMPLEX :

SUFFERING, STRUGGLING

Over-involvement

Profound empathy

Active listner

ME...

"Its wonderful how things pile up even if nothing is added"  Gertrude Stein




I SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING WHICH MAKES NO SENSE

I SHOULD WRITE SOMETHING WHICH MAKES NO SENSE.

I have been writing meaningful stuff for so long

Meaningful?  What's that?

Who cares for that?

Meaningful for whom?

 Meaningful?  All Bukwas, nonsense

Write something which makes no sense at all

It will be very well received

Well received?  By whom?

By the people who makes no sense

People like nonsensical stuff

Because thats more fun

"SENSE"  Is difficult to deal with

People want to like nonsense

People talk nonsense

Walk ninsense

"SENSE?"  No one thinks of making sense

Make no sense and thats how you should spend your days and nights


Tuesday, June 5, 2018

LOVE

LOVE

A fierce mutual protectivness I wanted towards the family and for the family.

Couldn't do it...

Not an armored animal at all...me...

Be one....

VENETIAN GLASS

VENETIAN GLASS

"Venetian glass doesn't appologise for its weakness.

It admits its delicacy.

It is confident enough to demand careful treatment.

Its not delicate becuse of a deficency or a mistake

Its fragile and easily harmed as the consequence

of its search for transparency and refinement."  ??

BORING, BANAL, REPETITIVE

BORING, BANAL, REPETITIVE

No beauty and interest in the things we do every day

Boring, Banal, Repetitive....

"Another person simply isn't very interested in what we think"

"So stop stressing that they are not interested in you?"

"Refusal to accept how things are leads to the capacity to infuriate and the

capacity to infuriate makes matters worse?"

"You should have serene indifference towards people not angry hatred.?"

Avocados and graps are good for you.  Maybe not the grapes, too sugary

" At times we should know how to close down our hopes and give ourselves

over to the contemplation of all that we will never be able to alter"  Botton

WALK BY THE RIVER

WALK BY THE RVER

River bores me

No, not the River actually

"Go to the river"

people say

"Which river?"

'East River--very close to you"

'Oh! The East River"

'Walking on the cement road along the railing..."

"The river is way below, way below....

Its not like Charles river in Cambridge where one can walk alongside the river...

on the grass, under the lush trees. alongside te river on thhe green grass and can touch te water with

your toes."

'Thats a walk, thats like going to the river for a walk.... a walk alongside the river."






THE WORD LEADS TO....(PROCESS OF WRITING, MY PROCESS ACTUALLY)

THE WORD LEADS TO....

A WORD,

An Image

Sensory feeling

Taste (Identity)

Smell (Individuality)

Gesture (Style)

Remark

Some one saying a sentence to you

Appreciative looks

Derogatry looks

Memory

Imagination

Influenec of other great writers

Sense of humor

content (Beginning, middke, end

Motivation

Impulse

Stream of consciusness

What kind if writing I would like to do?  (No idea)

Am I a surrealist?

Am I a realist?

Am I a naturalist?

Am I avantgarde?

I can do whatever I want (Writing especially)

There is no written law or rule

whatever comes out of me I put it out on the paper

I can look at it later

There will be stuff I will take out eventually

There will be stuff I will back in eventually

Take it out again

Put it back again

Something like that...

IMPULSE IS THE MOST IMPORTANT

Flight of Imagination must not be suppressed

Put everything down in an imperfect shape

Nothing will be ever perfect even if I have a finished project

Its my own choice to end it whenever...

When I think its done than its done...

So its done

That's what people call , Finished project.

My own ideas, my own imagination, my own understanding,

My motivation

My  own understanding of my motivation

My own esthetic is the most important thing

I MUST BE BOLD BECAUSE NO OINE WANTS ME TO BE

PEOPLE LOVE ME TO BE TIMID

THEY ALSO MISUNDERSTAND MY SOPHISTICATION AND POLITENESS

Courage to express whatever one wants to express is the real strength

My belief is that strength

Without my own belief, my own expression, my own story there is

no beginning of any creation of importance

I might not (I haven't, not many) win any award or become commercial sucess

but I am...Iam...I am

I am who I am...

I am not and I won't be any Tom, Dick or Harry

And if I want to write or perform for commerce I will have to

take a different route, the route of manipulation, the route of

calculation, formulas, kissing ass, going with the fashion of the day

Saying whatever they want to hear....selling out, these are all possibilities

of so called sucess...but it won't be organic but these days no one care for organic stuff, fame and

sucess is what matters...but your writting wont be the reall one. None of those things

come from the depths of your heart.

One must express in writing or in any other art form how one feels not how one

manipulate, not how one think about getting ahead...  It must be about how one feels,  how deep the

joy,

 the pain,

 the desperation,

 how deep the sorrow,

 loss and the chaos of the soul. is.....












WRITING AT LAFYETTE

WRITING AT LAFYETTE

Cotinuation of te play, ENGLISH BREAKFAST TEA

(Bill comes in: (Dana is surprised)

(Bill takes her out for a drink before going to the theater)

Dana orders a glass of red wine.  Bill goes to the bath room, takes a tea bag out (English breakfast tea)  dips in the glass of wine, take the tea bag out, dry it a bit, wrap it in a napkin, put it in his pocket
goes back to Dana and tells her that he is leaving for Upstate NY and can't go to the theater but will drop her there.

He drops her at the theater.
She goes to the party afterwards.
By about 8-30 Bill comes to Dana Austin's house
Dana's housemaid, Nandana is surprised to see him.
He gives Nandana a little package wrapped in red velvet
and tells Nandana that its a birthday gift for Dana
and he doesn't want to carry it with him upstate NY because he has the habit of losing things
and stressess upon the fact that Nandana won't tell Dana about the package
as well his visit to see Nandana.
He tells her to hide the package somewhere away from Dan's sight.
(TO BE CONTINUED)