OLD NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF

OLD NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF

PLAN NO 1:

Tights
Loose T shirts
Sneakers
Gym 3 days a week

PLAN NO 2:

Monday evening
Open mike, side walk cafe

PLAN NO 3:

Last Tuesday of the month
Open mike, blue stockings

PLAN NO 4:

Wednesdy, Friday, Sunday mornins
Balthazar

PLAN NO 5:

See three to four plays a week

PLAN NO 6:

The moment you feel sleepy
Go to bed
Don't wait

PLAN NO 7:

The moment you wake up
Get out of bed
Don't linger on...

PLAN NO 8:

Type on your blog
ALL  HAND WRITTEN MATERIAL

PLAN NO 9:

Re do the apt
Slowly and gradually

PLAN NO 10:

Friday night, Moma
Then Whitney

PLAN NO 11:

Thursday night, New museum at Bowery

PLAN NO 12:

Should and must
Replace doing somethigs you don't enjoy
Should and must do whatever you enjoy most

NONE OF THESE PLANS WERE ACCOMPLISHED EXCEPT THE OPEN MIKES
-----------------------------------------------

I touched the hornest's nest.

You are doing very ugly drawings on your birthday

"And we exert ourselves in our existence
with this transcendence"
"Its ungriefend or all enveloping"
'Ungriefend?  Something which exceeds us"
"Transcendence"
"Other than us encompassing us
All enveloping,"

"KEEP YOUR MOUTH TIGHTLY SHUT."
A
NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
-------------------

"Listen honey,
You have a lot of misunderstanding
About yourself.
People don't like certain topics
When you talk

You actually talk too much.

There is a hadice, a pious saying,

"Talk less

Eat less

Sleep less."

And you will live a long and healthy life.

I don't know about long life but for sure healthy life.

But if you do
Say nothing
Keep your mouth tightly shut
Otherwise you are the one who
Will be in trouble

Be indifferent about all topics
Those are not your topics

Don't get involved

Just concentrate on your work.

You know you have hundreds of
Hand written notebooks
You can type them
That will keep you busy

And away from people
Since you are so obssessed with people
Stay away from people
If that is your problem

There is no other problem for you but people,

 some people any way.

You are so ungrateful,

un-fortunate

that you spend your valueable time on triffles

You have never realized that god gave you immense talent

And you don't spend time on it to enhance it.

Scan your note books
BUT WHO THE HELL KNOWS
HOW TO SCAN THEM?

So, learn
So, learn new things
Always the same bull shit
People, people, people
People are not bothering you
You have some kind of problem
Problem of personality
Wake up
Enough waste
Waste of your own time
Precious,  precious time

I am so exhausted by you
ALL YOUR NOTEBOOKS
OF 30 YEARS ARE FULL
OF SOME PROBLEM WITH PEOPLE
WHO THE HELL ARE THOSE PEOPLE?
AND WHY THE HELL HAVE YOU MADE
THEM SO FUCKING IMPORTANT?

STOP IT
STOP IT
STOP IT.

KEEP YOUR MOUTH SHUT

AND DO YOUR WORK

YOUR WORK ONLY...

YOU HEAR ME?

IT'S ABSOLUTELY TYE LAST TIME I AM TALKING TO YOU.

"LIFE IS A ONE ACT PLAY"

"LIFE S A ONE ACT PLAY"

PLAY NUMBER ONE:

"THE JUNGLE"

WRITTEN
BY
BINA SHARIF...............copyright:binasharif 2020

CHARACTERS

KARIMA:  Confused and polite immigrant woman

SALIMA: An angry activist, a socialist, intellectual, American born female

SALIMA:

Karima, do you know about the
Law of the jungle ?

KARIMA:

No idea...

SALIMA:

Law is that...
Animals eat animals
Whoever doesn't eat, gets eaten

You, Karima, have allowed and still allowing the
Other animals to eat you.
Because you think that you are not an animal
And thus don't have to eat the other weaker animals
For your survival
And you think that you are not in a jungle

(Karima is very quiet)

SALIMA:

You got it all wrong Karima
All wrong...
And got eaten...
Listen, if you have any body parts
 left intact...i mean,
Are still left un-digested
Save them

First establish the fact
In your head that you are in a big jungle
Full of very aggressive animals
Who are ready to devovour you
Swallow you whole...
Chew you and spit you out

KARIMA:

It's you, you who got it all wrong my dear
I am not in a jungle
(Laughs)
You are delusional
Jungle?
(Laughs again)
I am in one of the most civilized part of the world
The world of science, arts, music, literature
Animals are not interested in these kind of things

SALIMA:

You see Karima, that's the only fault you have
'Naivety"
Otherwise you are a nice, warm, loving person
And all those so called qualities 
Attracts animals...
You have that scent, that sweet smell of vulnerbility
You invite danger
"Come push me around, come and abuse me,
Yes, you are welcome
Any time of the day, day and night
I am at your mercy
Come and eat me..."

KARIMA:

It's a shame that you think so low of me

SALIMA;

I don't
Not at all
On the contrary
I think very high of you
You are a person of sensitivity
You are a person of incredible politeness
And grace, and an ability to give...
(Interupts her)

KARIMA;

But all those things you mentioned
Are good qualities
Qualities that makes the character strong
I am a person of solid noblity and character
It's my mother who taught me all these wonderful things...

SALIMA:
(Interupts her)

And where is your mother now?

(karima ,
(becomes sad and doesn't answer her right away)

SALIMA:

Where is your mother?

(Karima doesn't answer) (They are both quiet for a while)

KARIMA:

My mother passed away

SALIMA:

I am sorry...

(They remain quiet for some time)

Did your mother lived in this city?

KARIMA:

No.

SALIMA:

Where did she live?

KARIMA:

In another country...

SALIMA:

Did she ever live here?  Here in this country?

This city?

KARIMA:

She never visited...

SALIMA:

Not even once?

KARIMA;

No.  (Quiet for some time)

She died 2 years after I moved here...

SALIMA;

So sorry about that

(Silence for a while)

Now I understand...

KARIMA:

Understand what?

SALIMA:

She never knew that you have moved to a jungle
A big modern jungle
If she knew that, she will tell you
Not to practice the great qualities of love
And affection and submissivness

KARIMA;

She never taught me to be submissive

SALIMA:

So you became submissive on your own?

KARIMA;
(Offended)
I am NOT SUBMISSIVE

SALIMA:
(sarcastically)
Oh!, you are just a nice person

KARIMA:

I hope so

SALIMA:

No, you are not. you are a nice person
A very nice person
And a very nice person in a ferocious jungle
Where only selfish animals live
Who are determined not to be nice
Because they are very aware of the fact
That their niceness will turn them into
Very week and pathetic little animals
Who have no conrol over themselves
And are waiting to be devoured...
Animals are hungry like human beings
They will kill when they are starving
And who do they kill?
The nice little rabbits
Are you a nice little rabbit?

KARIMA:

Why do you always condescend me?

SALIMA:

That's where you are wrong.
You don't understand me
I live with you
I have lived with you for quite some time
I observe you
You, and your behavior...
I understand
That you want to be loyal to your mother
And the values she instilled in you
Since your birth
And I am sure those things worked in the jungle
You left behind...
First of all Karima, the whole world has become a jungle
Some are primitive jungles and some are modern
And modern world and it's values, it's culture and it's thinking
Is very different than the old culture.
You are just a nice person
And some time that niceness is termed, "Victimhood"
And the word victim in modern jungle is very much despised...

KARIMA:

It sounds very disturbing and depressing
Whatever you are telling me.
According to you, just to survive, one has to become evil

SALIMA:

Not evil Karima but strong

KARIMA:

I am strong...

(Salima interupts her)

SALIMA:

If you were strong you won't be so depressed
You will have the determination to be nice to nice people
And mean to the mean ones and establish your right to exist
and live in much more positive way with hope...

KARIMA:

You see, since you have never known anything
About my culture, my background, my upbringing...
(Salima interupts)

SALIMA;

That is the very reason I am trying to tell you
That the things you learned where ever you came from
Are not the bad things.  They are great things, but in
Some atmosphere those very noble qualities ,
portray themselves as weakness,
And the week here in this very modern, machine
Culture becomes the food for the strong.
You need to understand that and change...

KARIMA:

Why can't they change?
Why don't they adapt to my values?
If they are good values
And I know they are good...
Why must I give up whatever little I have?

SALIMA:

No one is asking you to give up your beautiful character
But when you are out in the jungle you have to be a tigress
And not a lamb...
You just tell me...Imagine and tell me...
If there is a hungry tiger in the field and a meek
Lamb, tell me who will eat who?

KARIMA:

No one has to eat any one.
They should have some empathy...
(Salima interupts and laugh a lot)

SALIMA:

Empathy?  (Laughs loudly)
She is talking about empathy...(Laughs again)
Empathy in a vast jungle...

(Karima interupts her)

KARIMA:

Why do you keep calling civilization a jungle?

SALIMA
(Laughs)

Civilization?  ha,  our civilization has become a factory
A fancy factory
With modern instruments
Where you can spend a whole day,
A whole month,
A whole year and don't need a real human contact
Since the machine has taken over,
A little machine or a big machine
It has replaced human beings
You can be busy with it without ever saying, "Hello"
To some one passing by
Your eyes are glued to the machine
And machine is never sensitive
Machine has no feeling, no tenderness, no affection
And without these valuable blessings, the
Humans have started to resmble animals
And since the stronger, healthier, fast thinking
Animal surpsses weak ones and get ahead
And the weaker animals perish....
That scenario can't be called, "Civilization"
It's an animal farm...
Do you know what I am saying?

KARIMA:

It is too complicated and too scary for me to understand,
To call human beings animals, is very sad and the end of
kindness...

SALIMA:

I am so sick of your kindness issues...ok, go ahead
And be kind to all, all of them and let them trample you
under their feet.  But don't come home crying to me
that you are not succeeding beside being kind, hard working.
And being giving and being humble.
Let me tell you that those very things you value
Are standig in your way.  The reason you are not
succeeding in any thing, career, forget that, not even
in the department of having friends...too giving, and it
gives the impression of some kind of a need...
And needy people scare the hell out of the modern man...

KARIMA:
But a while ago you called all of them animals
And now you are calling them, "modern" and "human"

SALIMA:

Absolutely correct.  The very modern man
With a small machine in his hands has become an animal.
It can be taken as a metaphore
or the ability to create the impression of being
A real human but an animal deep down.
Remember George Orwell?
He wrote one of the most popular novel in the twentieth Century called,
"AN ANIMAL FARM"
All his characters were animals
Or humans in the shape of animals
They conversed with each other
Cheated and hurt each other
Created a system of cruelty and brutality
But called themselves, "civilized"
Because they did all the acts of torture
In the name of being civil.
Actually the people they hurt and killed,
They called them the ,"Animals."

SALIMA:

I know we don't live in the most wonderful world
Or in my case the world is wonderful but I somehow
Am confused how to function properly like others in it

SALIMA;

You can't function properly in the world
Because you have not adopted animal behavior.
That is a must in 21st Century
It had been a part of the 19th and 20th centuries as well
But with the advancement of machines, super powerful
Technology like the super powers themselves who created them
Expect the modern man who wants to call himself successful
must behave in a certain way...

KARIMA:

What's the proper way?

SALIMA:

The one you don't know

KARIMA:

Teaach me

SALIMA:

I am not your teacher.
I am just your room mate
But still your demeanor bothers me
It does because I care for you
And I know the moment you go out
Of the apt, to a cafe, or to work
You give the impression of a loser
And that's how they treat you...

KARIMA:

Who treats me that way?

SALIMA:

Every one darling, every one...
When I go out with you
I feel embarressed by your behavior...

KARIMA:

Now you are making me upset
And I hate to be upset with you...

SALIMA:

Be upset with me.
I like that
It shows courage
It shows strength
I want you to be upset with every onne you meet
Just get upset
Be ready to be upset
And tell every one just what you told me.
"I am getting upset with you."
Say that, and they will leave you alone
But hell no...
You won't dare tell any one that
You just want to be a humble little pie...

KARIMA:

Being humble is a good quality

SALIMA:

I am sick of your good qualites
If you have them...
Keep them for yourself
And don't mention them in-front of me...
Or just find another room mate to
Share your bathroom and your life with...

KARIMA;

Please Salima, don't be upset with me...
I always listen to you.
I know you are more wordly
You were born here
You know how it works here
Maybe what you say is correct
But I don't know how to behave?
How to become an animal in an instance
A human being and an animal all at once...
There must be a school to teach that
If that is the only way to get ahead
I should enroll in that school
But I don't think that education in schools,
colleges and university helps any more
Because i have been to all of them.

SALIMA:

Which college and university did you go to?

KARIMA:

Not here, back home, in my own country...

SALIMA:

No wonder.
Those universities don't count
Their system is opposite ours

KARIMA;

How?

SALIMA:

They teach you submissivenes,
humblness, kindness
All that crap that you talk about.
No wonder you have problems here
We are a machine nation Karima,
A big, powerful machine nation
Have you ever seen a machine having emotions?

KARIMA:

A machine is a machine
They assembled some parts together
And it functions...
But it has a different function devoid
Of emotions and thats the difference
 Between us humans and the machines.

SALIMA:

That is the most intelligent  words you have spoken.
I am in agreement with you on the creation
Of the machine without any part which
Deals with emotions...
So since the human beings have become machines
And you, maybe the only one with surplus amount
Of emotions dangling them in-front of the cruel and
In sensitive instruments and expecting love and
Acceptance and not getting zero response keep
getting lost and confused...how long are you going to be
In denial of reality?  In denial of 21st century?

KARIMA;

Yes, I am confused
But you are confusing me more...

SALIMA:

I want your confusion to go away for ever
And that is in case you still want to be here.
No one is going to love you.
They are working
They have ambitions
They have careers
They want to get ahead
And for that reason their governments
Created machines
It's a faster way to get ahead...

KARIMA:

Get ahead?
Where are they going?
To the subway?
So let them
I can be slow and still get to the subway
I might miss one train
But there will be another
Why do I have to push
Every one out of my way to get to the same
Rundown subway?

SALIMA:

You are so stubborn in your ignorance
People who are now animals
With great ambitions
Do not take subways...
They call Uber...

KARIMA;

So why are they pushing me around
hurting my elbows?
I am not in their way

SALIMA:

You are in the way of poor slobs
Who can't afford Uber
Or don't even know how to order an Uber...
We have all classes of human/animals here...
The poor slobs are pushing you around in the streets
And the rich slobs are pushing you around in fancy cafe's

KARIMA:

I don't go to fancy cafe's
Can't afford it...

SALIMA:

See another fault of yours...
Too honest.
Never ever say in-front of powerful people
That you can't afford whatever you can't afford...

KARIMA;

But I don't have to say it.
They can tell

SALIMA;

Tell what?

KARIMA;

They can tell that I can't afford luxuries...

SALIMA:

First of all Uber is not a luxury
It's just some piece of shit app...
You are actually lucky
That you don't know how to order Uber
You might have been dead by now
Or at least raped, molested, assaulted
The Uber drivers do that as well
Beside taking  you to the Opera...

KARIMA:

I have never been to an Opera...

SALIMA:

You are just an impossible person
You can never change
Why am I wasting my time?
My American time on an Immigrant?
You have no idea how American time is precious
More precious than the diamonds...
I JUST TOLD YOU A MOMENT AGO
THAT YOU MUST NEVER TELL ANY ONE
THAT YOU CAN NOT AFFORD THIS AND THAT...
I am pissed at you
I am getting a headache
If this was not a one act play
I would have called for an intermission...
Because I am now suffering from migrain...
This un-informed immigrant,
room mate of mine,
Who i am un-fortunately fond of
has given me and still giving me
An excruciating headache...
I need coffee, very strong black Americano
And can't leave the stage
Because we called this a bloody one act play...

KARIMA:

You are writing the play
Make it a full length play
Then you can for sure
Have an intermission...

SALIMA:

In some ways you make a lot of sense
You just don't know how to deal with people/animals
It's a very good idea to call this a full length play
I can have coffee
And the audience can go and pee
Do you want coffee?
Yes.
What kind?
Latte
Get rid of latte from your life
Ask for Matcha latte or Americano...

KARIMA;

Ok, Americano then...
See I have started to listen to you

SALIMA;

Good gracious lord...
After a life time of me trying to help...
And let me tell you just one more thing
Before intermission
So you can swallow it and keep it under wraps
For ever and ever...
And that is a guarantee for success
Which you need so badly...

KARIMA:

And what is that?
Beside me seeing everyone as animals...

SALIMA:

You don't have to see them as animals
You, yourself can become one
And then you will have no problem at all
Do you like any animals?

KARIMA:

Oh1 no.  I am very afraid of animals especially
the ferocious dogs coming at me in the streets...

SALIMA;

Which animal are you most afraid of?

KARIMA;

Oh1 I am afraid of snakes...
Oh! god, am I afraid of snakes...
I am terrified of snakes...
Just the word, "snake" evokes
incredible terror in my soul...

SALIMA:

That's it, Karima..
That's it.
You yourself have to become a snake...
The thing which you are most terrified about...
That's the thing you have to become
To succeed here and in this wild, cruel world.
Remember Lady Macbeth?
She said to Macbeth when she was pushing him
to kill Duncan, the king...
She said, "
"Look like the innocent flower,
but be the serpent under it."
That is the lesson of the day for you
And the lesson for all times...

KARIMA:

Who is lady Macbeth?

INTERMISSION

(Salima comes back with coffee for Karima as well)
(she hands it to her)

SALIMA:

Here is some hot coffee for your tired brain

(Karima takes the coffee, take a sip and smiles)

SALIMA:

I am disappointed in you

KARIMA:

Why?

SALIMA:

You know why

KARIMA:

No, I don't and by the way you have made your one act into a full length..

SALIMA:

You see, you know the difference between one act and full length
And you don't know who Lady Macbeth is?

KARIMA;

(smiles and stay silent)

SALIMA:

I thought you went to college, didn't you?

KARIMA;

University as well

SALIMA:

Brava.  And you still don't know who lady Macbeth is...

KARIMA:

Me being university educated has nothing to do
With snake lady...

SALIMA:

Who is the snae lady?

KARIMA:

You said earlier that Lady Macbeth has a snake inside of her

SALIMA:

Are you alright?

KARIMA:

What do you mean?

SALIMA:

I think you have lost your mind.
I don't blame you.
It's the years of depression

KARIMA:

Who is depressed?

SALIMA:

Look who is talking...

KARIMA:

No, I am serious.
Are you getting depressed?
No wonder...
We have been prisoners of Corona virus
We only have each other
And I guess you are tired of that
You want to run around and do demostrations
Against every one
It's you who is losing your mind

SALIMA;

I lose my mind sometime but
I always take an action

KARIMA:

By your hatred of the world
You called the whole world a Jungle
And that is disturbing to say the least

SALIMA:

So, according to you it's very wrong
of me to call the world a jungle.
Tell me that this world is nothing but, " paradise."
Yes, I agree
The world was a paradise for George Floyed
Right?
A garden of delights
He lived a life of luxury and freedom
And died a life of freedom
When the knee of white power is on your neck
When the knee of brutal force is on your neck
When you can't breath
When you are begging for your life
When you repeatedly say, "I can't breath"
"I can't breath."
"I can't breath,"
And the knee still stays on your neck
On George Floyd's neck
You still won't call this world a jungle
You still would like to be nice and kind
And forgiving...
Forgiving for the murder of an innocent man
On the pavements
On the filthy street of the jungle...
Tell me you still see that as paradise?
Tell me...
Don't be silent
It's not the time of silence
Centuries of silence and oppression
Results IN MURDERS  on the streets of this jungle
Spare me this bullshit of denial
Since you have lived with me
I have never ever seen you in
A positive state of mind because
You have never been able to adjust
To our system...

KARIMA:

Yes, the murder of George Floyd
This kind of murder can't take place in a civilized world
Yes, I am shattered and drowning in grief
This world which allowes these brutal acts
Must be a jungle, a vast jungle
Where the color of your skin stands out
Where your accent stands out
Where your character stands out
The decent person, the oppressed person
The innocent person pays the price
That person is weaker in-front of the power
The force of hatred and discrimination
I just wished I never watched that video...
I watched like millions. I watched his last breath
Escape his body...
When he uttered the word, "Mama"
My heart broke into tiny little pieces
And I knew that he is going to die that very second...
In my culture, there is a belief
That when someone is near death
They see their dead relatives
Their deceased loved ones
Who come to receive them
To take them away from this evil world
To save their souls from further punishment
Of the crime they have never committed...
So George Floyd called for his mama
And she came
She came with her open arms and her
Beating heart to gather him, her precious son
To take him away, to take him away for ever...
So finally he can rest in peace...
Yes, for these unfortunate tragedies this world
Has to be called, An animal kingdom...
But even the animals don't hurt their own species
They are all into their survival...
Human beings have become worst than animals
So I actually do not know what to call this world any more
But this system is not only your system
It's our system...
We live here as well...
Why do you call it "OUR," system?
It's my system too
But every one exclude Immigrants
From all kinds of inclusion
As if we are still living some where else
Somewhere, where ever we came from
Isn't that the most obvious thing
people say when ever an immigrant looking
person complains about the system
Many many things here are a problem
For us too but we have to keep our mouths shut
Because then every one throw this bullshit at us...
"Go back home" "If you are not happy here, go back."
You can shout in the streets about your activism
But we have to play deaf and dumb and thank for
The crumbs thrown at us...
and some time not even crumbs come our way
It;s very much our system Salima...
I have so much grief gathered in my heart and soul
I can never pronounce the word, "Mama" without
sobbing...those few seconds of that video haunts me
And will haunt me for long time...
Yes, it's our system as well and it must change

System has people in so many groups

And whatever group the system likes

They help them, they promote them to be politically correct

But I am in no group

There is no group assigned for people like me

So I am out of all political correctness...

SALIMA:

That is exactly correct.

The animal behavior towards some particular people
And that is the reason
I try to tell you day after day
That you live in a jungle
And jungle is full of animals
And you with your subservient nature
Taught to you from your home country perhaps
Want to just stay that way and expect not to be
Eaten by the animals.
We have to protest, we must.  In that very street
Where they took the life of Poor George Floyd
And in every street of this country till the system changes.

KARIMA:

I want to have some hope for the world we live in

SALIMA:

Every one wants that
And that's why we have to fight
Fight as if we are in a battle
And we are...
Look around you
This virus has made it so obvious to every one
Who always had this fake hope for humanity
This old fashion word, "Hope."
What hope?
100-000 people are dead
And the one's who are alive
Want to go to the beach
Without masks and celebrate
What are they celebrating?
The death of black people? death of minority?
Death of the elderly? Sick people in nursing homes?
All dead, poverty, disease lack of prepration
For the pandemic?
They knew it was coming
They know it's still here
But our human/animals are getting drunk
They have opened bars for them
To get drunk in the park...
What are they celebrating?
Can't they just go through some grief?
I mean people in this world are worst
Than a real jungle
I am sure when an animal dies
The other animals silently cry...

KARIMA:

Back home when any one dies
No one from that household cooks
For three days...
They wear clean clothes, mostly white
Sit on the floor which are covered with dari, a rug
Or a carpet and mourn the dead
Other people, neighbors or friends
Or relatives bring food for the mourners
People are so stricken with sorrow that they can hardly eat
But food is provided for...
And after three days, every one who came to pay their respects
Goes back home
But the persons who lost their loved ones
Mourn for 40 days...
Yes they go to work, cook ect
But for forty days they don't travel
Or go to a club
Or have a wedding
They just go through grief...
For other people of advanced world
Our culture is considered morbid.
But losing 100-000 human beings and then
having a party or cocktails on zoom
I don't understand that
So I kind of just take it in
And get sad and depressed
Looking at the cruelty and selfishness
Of us who are living...

SALIMA:

No one is having a party right now
People are waking up finally
There are hubdreds of white people, young and old
Marching, protesting against the centuries of injustice
And inequality...
People have realized the kind of injustice
Some of us go through year after year..
And they are changing their attitude
From party to protest
From passive behavior to positive action
Get out in the streets and fight for your rights...
That is why I have been trying
For you to change your attitude
You are not in that part of the world
Where people are mourning the dead
For forty days...
You are here
But your thinking is backward
It's not working...no, not at all
Some day you will just parish
Of your own oppression.
Don't you have enough thrown at you
From the outside?
There is a positive way of living in 21st century

KARIMA:

I understand.  I can also march in the streets
I have been marching with you and thousands more
But I can't be cruel
You want me to be cruel
But I can't
Even if I try very hard
I can't be like Lady Macbeth
Whatever is in my heart that is exactly on my face
I fail or succeed, I can't be cruel
It's not my nature
It's not in my DNA
Cruelty is the abomination of humanity

SALIMA:

But there is not much humanity left
Not now, not here, not in the past, not in the future
Have you forgotten all the wars?
Have you forgotten the vietnam war?

KARIMA:

I wasn't here for that war

SALIMA;

But you were here for The Iraq war
The first Iraq war and the second Iraq war
You were here for the Afghanistan war
Werent you?
And for Sept 11
Wasn't that an animal act?
Sept 11?
Those animals coming from
Fanaticism became human bombs
And destroyed buildings
And burned people alive
You were here then right?

KARIMA:

Yes, I was here unfortunately
And I still mourn for those innocent people
Their lives were taken by such an act of brutality

SALIMA:

And you don't think that humans have become animals?
Trust me...
We have become animals
Animals of different demeanor
Religious fanatics
Democracy fanatics
Don't you think that Iraq war and Afghanistan war
And the murder of George Floyd
And Eric Garner and Arbry and many many more..
wasn't that an act of animalism of the worst kind?
And why these things keep happening?
Because we have lost the love, the faith,
The passion, the empathy for each other
Not only of our next door neighbor
But for far away unknown people
Whom we have never met, never spoken to
Nevet had tea with, never celebrated a happy occasion
And now they are all dead...
We killed them.
Our bombs killed them
And we shall never know them
They were here for a while
They were alive
But we killed them...
Why?
For no reason
For power...
Now The Corona virus is killing thousands
Now the virus is the power...
The knee of a fascit police man is the power

KARIMA;

Perhaps you are right
All the actions which leads to un-necessary death
In such a brutal manner...
Must be the doing of animals...
Comme to think of it
The Corona Virus also came from an animal...

SALIMA:

Amazin...isn't it
A bat, a sick bat, a tiny animal
The bat can do so much damage all over
This plnet...
A knee can take the life out of George Floyd
And the life of many more
Because the color of their skin was not white..
Think about that...
The police should be banned from
Having any contact with human beings, period.
They should not be allowed to come near
 Or touch a person who is still breathing.
Let the living live
Let them breath...
Even the animals small and big are sick of us.

Maybe this small animal, this small bat said to himself
'Let me teach this fake humanity a lesson,
They have been eating me for centuries,
The time has come when I will eat them,
Spread my wings near and far, near and far
And infect them with my poison...
And the bat did it...
I have been telling you that the animlistic
nature of human beings is very successful
in eating others...
they have their methods of destroying
other week people...
With poverty, with homelessness,
Without health care, giving them poisonous food,
There are many ways for the powerful
Animal to get rid of the week and the polite...

KARIMA:

We need to say a prayer ...
For George Floyd and for humanity
And then perhaps we will be able to see
 Clearly that all of us are the same
All of us desreve the kindness and decency from each other

SALIMA:

I have been trying for so long...
To make you see clearly
That you are in danger
With your polite, submissive nature,
We call that kind of a person,
"A victim"
And we have no respect for that victim.
We don't have much respect for any one
We are not human any more, we are just
"Metaphores"
And metaphores don't breath, they don't cry,
They are not visible...
When you go out to a cafe
Or to the subway, or to a concert
They look like humans
But inside of them lives the huge
'Metaphores" of animalistic power
A dangerous power
Power of  a snake
Power of a leapord
Power of a lion...
Power of a single police man
One minute George Floyd was alive
And the next second he was dead
On the streets of a powerful country

KARIMA:

Everything is so sad, so sorrowful
I see George Floyd's lifeless face on the footpath
I keep hearing his heart breaking cry, "Mama"
All these lives lost on the streets of this country
All the mothers of these young sons crying...
And that is the reason of my decades of depression.
I tell you Salima, I can't take it...
I can't take it any more...maybe I should end it all?

KARIMA:

That won't be allowed as far as I am alive
I will make sure of that.
I love you
I have loved you since the day we have met
I will do everything to keep you here
With me but in a better, healthier persona
And I have a recipe for that

KARIMA;

(Smiles)

And what recipe is that?
I hope it will fit my taste and
Would be delicious and spicy...

SALIMA:

Trust me...
I have practiced it for years and it has fully worked for me
And it will be delicious
But you will have to change your taste buds a bit
First of all you have to practice
First thing in the morning.
Repeat to your self one hundered times.
"THAT YOU ARE IN A JUNGLE"
Where ever you go, you end up in a jungle
A cafe, a book store, the subway, the museum,
Shopping centers, the cinemas, the theaters,
All are part of a vast jungle...
Where animals are ready to eat you
Because they are much stronger than you,
Much more clever than you...
You must see yourself as an animal
In that atmosphere and be prepared to eat them

KARIMA:
Jesus, it sounds awful.
Suicide might be easier than that

SALIMA:

You know that I can't be with a loser
And I also don't give up.
What I want, that's what I want
And I want you
And I want you to be as strong as me
And you will be...
Just be patient ...we have to fight for our rights first
and let me finish...

KARIMA;

Oh! heavens...there is more?

SALIMA;

We are talking about preserving life
 And how to be alive in this world
And that's a long and difficult lesson
Life is difficult in itself
Not a bowl of cherries
You need patience, perseverance
And strong detremination
And in your case,
You are never prepared for the battle.
And whenever other aimals take a bite of you
You get into a shock, never-believing the reality of the jungle
Because in your eternal stupid humbleness
You don't see them as vicious, tigers and lizards
Coming at you...
Like our leader never saw a bat flying our way...
And let 100-000 of their country men died

And killing of George Floyd
Awful neglect..
Wouldn't you say?
It's the same in your case
You never see the danger
Because you are naive and un-prepared
And it causes you constant trauma and pain
Get it into your head once and for all
"You are in a jungle and you have to obey the law.'
If you want to save yourself.

Be prepared
Always on the guard
Always be defensive
Don't say, "I am going to the cafe."
Say, " Hi, I am going to the jungle,
You want to join me?"

Don't say, "I am going to the museum
Say, I am going to the jungle.
Then you will always be on guard.
Prepared for the attack and counter attack.

Be ready to eat the ferocious animals
Before they take a step towards you.
Take a juicy bloody bite out of them
Eat, you are always starving...
Anmals have lots of proteins
You lack energy in your suffering
Gain strength to live this horrendous life
You need lots of Iron
EAT MEAT...LOTS OF MEAT

SALIMA;

Beside eating meat, we need
Something else to be strong
We need to pray
We need the spirtuality of kindness
To occupy our souls...
We need to go back to our faith
Which we have completely lost
Let's pray for 100-000 dead and
For George Floyd...
May they all rest in peace
They sacrificed their lives
For the world to change for better
where people will love and respect
Every living soul and have dithe gnity and decency
towards each other...
Let us pray...
Let us pray for that change

SALIMA:

I don't believe in the melodrama of prayer

But I respect if you want to say a prayer, go ahead...

KARIMA:

Please, please join me at east once to say

a prayer which might save us all, the rave ones, and the coward submissive ones

After all we are still human...

SALIMA:

Are we still human?

We were born human

But are we still human?

Are we?

KARIMA:

That's another reason to pray.

Salima, you said you love me

Just for that reason, please join me...

SALIMA:

Just fr that reason I might

But on one condition

KARIMA:

And what's that?

SALIMA:

(laughs)

You have to admit that we live in a jungle

And you are going to have the strength

of a strong animal like a tiger to fight for your rights...

KARIMA:

(laughs)

I admit. "We are two good and strong animals

who love each other and want to save each other.

SALIMA:

Not good but strong animals who are in love...

(Salima and Karima light a candle, sit on the rug and starts to pray)

Lights begin to fade slowly

BLACKOUT

END OF PLAY

"I AM MY OWN BIOGRAPHY".

"I AM MY OWN BIOGRAPHY"   

"I AM MY OWN BIOGRAPHY"

"Why do you do the same gibberish all the time?'
"That's all I know...honey, thats all I know."

LAMENT OF A DEAD WOMAN: A WAR POEM

LAMENT OF A DEAD WOMAN:  A WAR POEM

"When I say, 'YOU"
I don't mean you
I mean the killer
So, if you are the killer get angry at me
Hate me
Call me names
And if you are the killer
Then listen...

I am
But I am not part of me
I am part of your scheme
Your dirty, rotten bloody game

BUT,

My memory is not going to be at your disposal
Like my life was
My death is my strength
And it will rip your heart out
It will tear your eyes out of its socket
You will never see your children again

I will tear your limbs
You will have no hands
Left to touch your children

"Children?
Children?
Children?

Awaladi?
Awaladi?
Awaladi?

Look, look, look...
At my beautifdul children
So young, so innocent
So tender
So soft spoken

And you slaughtered them
Into thousands of pieces of flesh
Scattered on the road side

"YOU" think it will leave you alone?
You think the howling winds of sorrow
Will leave you alone?

Oh! the rivers of blood will open up
And eat you up alive
God of justice has an appetite
The earth will swallow you

God is there somewhere
Yes, God is still there
God will one day come back
God will take revenge
God's revenge is merciless

Now my children's death
And its shadow will never leave you alone
They will always come to you
They will always question you
You will have to answer them
Why did you murder my children?

You say we talk too much about death
Yes, we do
And we will
We will talk about death
But this time it will be about your death
And it will be a horror
Like our horror
Actually more horrible than our death

There will be so much blood spilled
That even the death will be afaraid,
0f the blood in the rivers
Which will drown you
Your own blood will drown you

Melted...melted..melted
Burned...burned...burned
Our leaders were corrupt, fake kings
Without a throne
Became your allies
And we melted to the bone

What was the reason for this war?
Murder?
Illegality?
Inhumanity?

My death bsed on a falsehood
My death based on man made news
M life was more precious than that
My truth was more precious than that

When we were born
Like the rest of humanity-
We had dreams and hope
Of a great life

Dreams of having children
Celebrations of weddings
Cermonies
Eid
Ramadan
Pilgrimage
Grand children
Great grand children
And then we could have died of a natural death

Natural death
Natural birth
Destiny as it's written
But we were killed on our own land
What are the weapons of mass destruction?

We don't even know the definition
We were too poor and unaware
Of the world and the haunting gamees
But we became the birds they hunted

Maybe the bomb that killed us
Was the weapon of mass destruction
It killed so many of us
But there is no count even
How can one count so many dead?
So many killed
But no number and no count

We mean nothing to the killer
But why not?
Are we not human?
Are we not innocent?
Is there no blood in us?
Did it hurt?
The bullet? the bomb?

Our's was a blessed land
Based on god's original truth
"IQRA" read, recite in the name of god
Who created you from a tiny blood clot
created you for what?
If not to tell the truth

You never told the truth
We will forgive you if you do
But you won't
Your life was worthless
You died at your birth
You lied, you lied, you lied
You died at your birth

But our memory of, "IQRA" will always be
'IQRA"  LIVES
We have come back to relive our Trojan wars
Now we will be in the history books
Another greek tragedy
Would you read about us?

No.?

 Why not?
Too busy
With what?
Your cell phones

Oh! so we are not greek then
There were no cell phones at the time of Trojan war
Oh! so you won't read about us
For you the story has ended

But our memory of "IQRA" and hope,

 some hope...
The one you didn't let us have in our lives
Our memory of hope will live
And when the dead have hope
It's scarier than the bomb

We were killed in our own land
By your bomb
We were illuminated first
Like a painting in a museum
A can of white phosphorus
Was thrown at us
So you could see our ribs, veins, our bones
So you could see where our hearts lie
So you explode our hearts through and through

I am free
Democracy killed me
And freed me
Thanks to the free nations
The air was sucked out of my body
So was my blood
No more blood in me
We will no longer bleed
Don't kill us again
We will no longer bleed

But the truth will shout from the mountain top
From the bottom of the graves
Our graves
Our ancestor's garves
You have been killing us for a long, long time

But the truth is alive
Truth is not buried with the dead
Truth lives
It always does
Truth lives

Don't tell horrendous lies
Your lies arn't real
Only the dead are real

because they were once born...
The rest is a story
And the author?
We are looking for him

It lives
Not I
Truth lives

Now we are part of a history
Now we will be in history books
But you wrote that history
It's not real
It's a story
And we are looking for the author

We will keep looking
We, the dead will keep coming back
To look for the author of the story
The story which brought our death
But for you
There is no real history
There wasn't even a war
No bombs were ever dropped
We are not dead either
We are not dead
Beacuse we were never born

For you we didn't exist
But we did
For our parents
For our brothers and sisters
For our garnd parents
For our children
We were born
We lived
You came
You killed us all

Your story was fake
Your story is fiction
You are used to writing scripts
Your story, the cause
According to you
For killing
Was just a bad fiction

A story
According to whoever is telling...
According to whoeve is listening to it
Don't worry
We, the dead, murdered in our own homes
We, the dead will keep coming back

We and our lament,

 the lament of the innocent dead
Is the story...
We didn't get the chance to write it

you wrote it...

Your story is not the real story

Our death is the true story
Our life,  that is the real storythe real story.

Our life, which you slaughtered

Is the real story.

Is 
The lament of the dead....

MODERN ECONOMY, MODERN DEATH: A CORONA ESSAY

MODERN ECONOMY, MODERN DEATH: A CORONA ESSAY

LITTLE SOMETHING

LITTLE SOMETHING

Got stuck
Great Glue
Strong stuff
Strong sticky glue

Can't get up
Can't move
Can't leave
Can't get up

Can't go anywhere
No-where to go
What happened?
Got stuck

------------------

Short story about a popular composer
Works on a concerto
Go back on writing books
Every one waiting for new concerto
Finishes as a polka

------------------------

"For surrealists, perfection is idleness
Secret of creativeness develops a greater degree of indifference,"   Annonymous

-------------

"Surrealist deal with the interior world and its mystery
Classic writer describes reality". ?? what the poet reports from the depth of his being

-----------

'If the poet reports from the depth of his being has form, he reproduces form.
If its formless, he ignores form."  ??

----------

"You can express dreams with normal language."  ??
--------

'Invest with unexpected import."  ??
--------

"Let the accumulation of artificial culture get out of your head."  ???
--------

"He will be able to be flooded by the torrents of his interior life."  ??
-----------

"Use intention as  magnifying glass." ??
---------

She behaves as a lamb in tiger's clothes.
Or she is mentally ill.
After few weeks of fury
She calms down till a new fury takes its place
Stay away from them
Just stay away
Don't try to figure it out
Remove yourself

All day sitting
And bad food
Irregular hours of eating
No exercise
Not eating right
Not enough movement

Arrange your day differently
Arrange your time differently
Very difficult to do
Do it any way
Nothing is easy
Who said that?

'From the convergence of myself
And from the dispertion of myself---
There lies the whole of it."   Baudelaire

"Art should explore art."  ??

"I hate the fact that once
I wasted so much time on them."   ??
---------

"Repressed instincts...
Fear
The appeal of unusual hazards
Taste for luxury
Expression of these repressed instincts
Will perhaps rescue the poet from his incurable disquiet."  ??
--------

"It's life and spirit itself
My work, my writing
Thinking,
Doing,
It's a way of feeling
And of experiencing
A way of using sight
And double sight."  ??
-----------

"Don't combat your desires and instincts
But give them free run."  ??
-------------

"Exceptional sensitivity
Unique privilege of understanding
Of true objectivity."  ??
---------

"The genuine artist does not express a particular
and individual emotion but penetrates to the deep
root of human nature."  ??
---------

"Every day"s new development
Shocks un-predictability
Things one thought will never happen
Keeps happening...
Who knows what horror will happen next?
It's totally scary
In some ways to be positive
It's encourging too
Great things can happen tomorrow as well."  ???
----------------

'Can't go up there
Don't start the same habbit
Of showing up
What for?
Let someone shows up at your door
Just keep it formal, casual and polite."   ??
--------------

"Don't make these the problem
Make them an asset."  ???
----------

"Its the purpose
Not the people
Who should be important.
They are either the vehicle
Or the obstacle...
Make them into vehicle
If you can't get rid of them
For some reason
Vehicle is better and more optimistic than an obstacle."  ??
--------

"The double life has the effect of dispersing man's energy."  ??
--------------

"You can show up once in a while
Don't make such a fuss about it
Think of it as a coffee break
Everything can be a vehicle
Remember?
Don't try to push it towards an obstacle
Only one thing must pop up in your conscious and subconscious
Vehicle, vehicle, vehicle to get around
Vehicle to be used to make your day a pleasant one."  ??
---------------

"See the good side of everything
Take the bad side of things out of your head...
For you only the coin is made of one side
The bad side
You become too pessimistic about everything
See the good side of the coin sometime
Only the good side, the positive side, the happy side."

And please remember this
This has been told to you a thousand times before
Don't be so hard on me and yourself
Stay away from the bad side of things
And bad side of thoughts...

Use the thoughts towards art
Art is the only healer...
That is your new assignment
Museums, art galleries, gallery openings
Try to learn how to draw, how to paint
Take some classes...
Art is the only savior...

Do all that after the lockdown ends
And Corona goes away for ever
And will it?
Will the corona go away for ever?

No bad side of things Ms.  No bad side of the coin
Remember your coin has only one side
The good side, the beautiful side, the positive side, the happy side."   ??
---------------

'A PLAY

Seriously funny
Hilarious
Self deprecating
Include all topics
Disease
Health
Age
People
Food
Processed food
Celebs
Thinness
Surgery
Plastic surgery rather...
the world
China
Middle East
Europe
European union
England
Pakistan
Iran for sure
Exercise
Politians
Presidents
Trump for sure
With that topic of Trump 24/7 you would make it
All bad things about him
One good word and you are out of business
Out of your career
Career?
WHAT CAREER?

At least I have one of those elements of happiness
NO CAREER
NO, NONE FOR SURE
NOTHING TO WORRY ABOUT

Lack of career bothered me for a long time
But now it's a source of pleasure and happiness
It's so impressive
Who thought that
The mere lack of a career
Will bring me so much joy, peace of mind and ultimate happiness

Now I don't even have to worry about not only my angst
But other people's un-ending anxiety
They only talk about their career
Some brag, "that they have incredibly successful careers."

That would bring me torture
"OH! All of them have awsome careers but me."  I would lament day and night
And bring myself enormous misery
Other people's egotistical career brought my downfall
The death of once a raging ambition
'Oh! I can never make it as a career women'
All things called, "Success" are against me"
I would say to nyself

Thank god thats over
I decided not to have any career
Since that in-visible career was not going any where
And the circles I moved in all had flourishing careers
At least that's what they portryed in their positive attitudes
And I had so many sleepless nights

But the moment I decided to end that career which never was
I was able to sleep
Sometimes 12 hours every night
Some times I never even wanted to get up
From bed
"Oh! "Isn't it amazing?"

I can call my bed, my career
But I decided not to
Because the word, "Career". gave me lots of pain in the past
So I decided to take it out of my dictionary

'No darling, no career for me"
And I decided not to be with people with careers
They gave me so much misery and heart ache
Wanted a break so I could breathe and enjoy my life.

Even when I was not with them
I would feel their angst stricken vibes
Travelling fast right towards my direction mocking me
"We have great careers, and you don't,
HA,HA,HA...

"Do  I care anymore?"
"No, I don't."
'I don't give a holler"
"WHAT DO YOU DO?"

Every one asks me
'Nothing.  I do nothing."  I say
"Nothing?"
'Yes, nothing."
'But every one has a career"
"Not me."
"You don't have a career?"

"Actually I do."
'So you do have a career?"
"I sit in cafe's, very fine and fancy cafe's and I sit leisurly for hours"
"I like care free beautifuly relaxed atmosphere without any one next to me
Bothering me about the same bull shit, a career, a career, a career."

'My career is to sit without a worry and pay the cafe owner for sitting there
And that's a pleasure to do...pay for my mind's beauty and comfort...
That's an elegant career
Instead of running around, begging people for work
"Please take me seriously, please give me some work"

"How pathetic is that?"
Yes, it's so pathetic, shameful rather...
Instead I sit and sip my latte and read.
poems written by Yeats and Auden and Keats
But still it bothers the ones who have grand careers

"How come she is always sitting in the cafe's as if she has no worry at all
and we are running like hungry mice to feed our career?

'And why should it bother them?
'I wonder and wonder"
"But somehow it still bothers them
'Sad, sad, sad

"If they were paying for my latte and croissant and half boiled egg (by the way it costs $9 in Balthazar) and even lunch sometimes, $ 36 for farm fish, if they had to pay for me sitting and eating
all the delicious food and they had to work and were furious... I would understand that...

"But if I am the only one who pays my bills at cafe's, so why does it bother them so much?"
"All those people with sucessful careers can sit down and can even have two half boiled eggs...
they work, they have more money than me...they can have steak, $100 at Minetta Tavern
on Macdougal street also owned by Balthazar...they can pay,  they are richer than me with glamerous careers...

'But hell no, they are worried about me not having a career and being able to sit in a cafe
'Well, they think I am sitting in their cafe's and how dare I?
After all all those cafe's are in America
And America is for sure their country because they are Americans

"But me too, me too, I want to shout...I am also American and these cafe's are my cafe's as well."
"But they don't want to acknowledge that. They feel America is their America, NY is their NY

"But hell no...America is my America, NY is my NY...Yes, it is"
And I have given up a career for that
It could have had a brilliant career
But  I gave that up
So I could sit in one of the best cafe's in NY

"So please leave me alone...I am losing my concentration
I need to go back to my book, 'FAUST" by Goethe
It's about the devil and a fool...
'And I am interested in both...
By now"


"

BREATHE

BREATHE

Death is for real
It will come...
Don't wait for it
Breathe, breathe, breathe
Live your life
Live, live, live
The way you want
The way you like

Do whatever gives you some joy
A little joy
Or a big joy
A little pleasure
Or a huge pleasure

Anything which makes you laugh
Anything you say, which makes others laugh
Little things like,
To say, "hi" to someone you like
Or to some one you don't even know
To share a conversation
To laugh together

To read a book
To read another book
And another
Writers write books for the readers to read
Read...read...and then read some more

Take a walk...
To think
To reflect
To enjoy

Give, give affection, love, concern,
To someone who needs it
Share your life with some one
Who is lonely
Just a little thing to give, to share

Forget about the big things
You wonder and worry
You worry that the other has the big things
And you don't
Forget about that for ever
What others have is not your concern
Don't waste your precious time
On trifles like that
Time is the most precious and sacred thing
Time is like death
Time never comes back
Never...
It's like the death of a parent
How you wish that they will come back
Even for one fraction of a second

But no, it's not written that way
Destiny has it's own rule
So does death
Time also dies
Time has a life
Just like a human being
Spend your time wisely

Enjoy what you have
Thats all
'Others?" is a bad concept taught to you to keep you down
What you have is the most valuable
Enjoy everything you have
Everything given to you
Little or big
All is a gift to you from up above
From the heavens above you
Don't make that heaven into hell

Be grateful for the gift of god
The life, living, joy, pleasure, laughter, knowledge, the search for knowledge...
Curiosity, search, sense of fullfillment with little
Little joy goes a long way...live now, forget the past
It's gone, gone and will never come back
The past and the past time are first cousins
HAVE THE SAME DNA
Gone and gone for ever..

Forget about the future
Only god knows what will happen
Only God knows what is coming your way
Expect the best
You deserve it...
Live now, live here and now
Future might not be there
Yes, if you don't know anything about it
It might not exist...
Yes, There is no future
If it exist, it's precarious to say the least
CORONA PROVED IT
TO THE WORLD THAT
FUTURE IS AN UN-KNOWN MYSTERY

Our breath is the most cherished property we have
We have to protect it at any cost
It's a treasure
It's a gift
Keep breathing...
Breathe, breathe, breathe...

Breathe, breathe, breathe....

ODYSSEY OF CHAOS CONTINUES

ODYSSEY OF CHAOS CONTINUES

ODYSSEY OF CHAOS

ODYSSEY OF CHAOS
IS
KARIMA'S LIFE

Unify your positive energies Karima
Let the negative disperse
You should be a new Khalil Giberan Karima
Give away your un-known terror
Your un-known chaos
It's been so long
The world has changed
But your chaos remains

Why?
What happened?
Why can't you change?
Are you bigger than the world?
The world and everything in it has changed
Why can't you?
Why must you always come back to the same thought process?
All negative, all pessimistic, all defeated
Your chaos even is defeated by now
Looking for a winner
Of some kind

Are you not a part of this world?
Are you not a part of the tragedies of this world?
THE JOY OF THIS WORLD?
THE HAPPINESS OF THIS WORLD?

Yes, hapiness also exists
Optimisim also exist
Winning also exists
How come you got the loser instinct imbeded in the depth of your soul?
What happened in your childhood?
Why must you never try to change?

You Must not live in the past
And even if you do
You should be happy
Because it's understood vaguely by you that your past was devine
That can sustain you if your present is miserable
Which you have never acknowledged or denied
But the chaotic sensibiity in your demeanor proves the theaory of unpleasantness of your present
But no body's present, past and un-known futre is perfectly galamerous
Future is so totally un-known and un-predictable
That worrying constantly about it is so hazerdous to one's soul
The past, great or awful is gone
It's just gone like a person who dies and is never ever is going be seen again
It's just a memory
You decide if it'was good or bad
It's all upto you
And to make your present at least a bit more pleasant under all dire circumstances is also upto you

You are lucky
You are still alive
Look, how many un-fortunate people became a data of Covid -19
Thos were the human being who also had dreams of happiness
There dreams had been shattered right in-front of your eyes
And you, haven't grasped the good luck given to you so far
Chaos should be out of your reach at this moment by thinking about the monsreous tragedy engulfing us...

Why don't you tell me a bit more about you Karima?
You are an intriguing figure, very unique
And I AM SURE WHAT EVER YOUR PROFESSION IS MUST BE EXCITING AS WELL
Or perhaps you have no profession
That's all right too
Not every one have to have a profession
"profession" is an anxiety creating word
It envolves competition
The happier are the one's who don't compete
Becaus e they have no need to
They just live their life
We might call it mundane but they are happier people
Their worries are their families, their loved ones, and some money to put food on the table...
They are not competing with movie stars
Why should they?
They are not movie stars
They are ordinary folks
Though, "Ordinary"  means a slight, a put down
But they are the real folks who don't take drugs, commit suicides over their successes and failures

They have chaos
But they also have mansions
And billion dollar bank accounts
They can afford chaos
I am sure you are not a billionaire
Thats a joke by the way
I am sorry
Didn't mean to put you down
None of us are in that category
And who wants to
Most of the billionairs beside the movie stars perhaps
Are thieves.
They have stolen every ones's share of wealth
and are always having chaos worrying that some one will find out that they are thieves
You don't have those worries
Right?
Of course you don't
And why should you

You don't seem like a banker or a hedge fund manager
Of course not
From your hat I can tell that you have artistic tendencies
Are you an artist?
If you are, perhaps you feel that you are a failed artist
Because no one knows you
No one has ever heard your name
And even if they did, they won't be able to pronounce it
It's kind of an un-usual name, Karima
What is your full name?
It doesn't really matter
But some time, actually most of the times
The world can tell about the person's origins and reglegious affilations
So many times people change their last names so they won't go through
The hatred and chaos of racism and prjudice...
That kind of attitude by the word can create chaos in a person's soul

But in order to live in peace and a little dose of happiness and joy
One has to ignore that attitude of the world
The world is also full of ignoramous
Who have no knowledge and respect for anything sacred
So if you feel chaos just because of your name
Please don't
Your name should be your pride
Your birth right
Your identity
See, just by having a name and a pretty unique name
You have an identity, your rights as a human being and your pride
Of being a decent person
I know you are a decent peron
Because you are not yelling and screaming
But being silent and silently absorbing your chaos
But your Odyssey of chaos is becoming too long
And time is short
Very short, time is running out...

I would like to hear your voice
Your silent voice which must have a lot of truth and depth in it
Speak to me...
Speak, say anything, any thing you like
Relevant or not to your Identity, your history, your sadness, your cahos...
Speak...speak to me
I have to go away soon
And who knows when I will come back
Who knows if we will ever see each other again
Who knows if Covid -19 won't get us
After all we are not so speciall to be spared...
We are blessed, yes blessed so far...let's take a chance to know each other and ease each others pain
No matter what the source might be...
We can and we must try to comfort someone who might not How are you?ve been able
to understand the cause of this un-known anguish, this un-known cahaos, this unknown loneliness...

KARIMA SPEAKS...

I am from another world
I live in another world
and thats a long story and you don't have the time
You have to go away soon, you said
Maybe another time
Another time if we are lucky to meet I will tell you the story of that world which is now gone...
They say, the world I live in is superior than the world I left

That perhaps maybe the cause of my internal chaos
Maybe just one of the cause amongst many
Just to hear for decades that the world which gave birth to you was inferior
and the world you are in is not your world because its superior can be the next cause of fear and doubts and chaotic scenarios...
But those are long chapters and we don't ahve time
But I will tell you a little bit of what I am interested in
Doesn't mean that my interest lesson my chaotic Odyssey
Actually it increases it
I don't know how
But my very interest in something I can't get ahead must be the cause
I can't figure out anything else
The world I came from which is considred inferior might be the cause
And I say might of me not succeeding in what interests me
Their are road blocks
Because of inferiority and superiority
Both very toxic words
But toxic is toxic and can effect lives or worst

But let me not regress
Because the shortness of time
It's like shortness of breath
One can die
Just by losing breath
One can die
It's as simple as that
If we remember that we will never have chaos about anything else as long as we are breathing
But we are mortals full of weaknesses and faulty memories...
We forget
Ad get into our moods of vaccum, emptiness, un-fullfiments and isolation
And the the very thing I am interested in which doesn't go far, which doesn't progress to a level
Which it should causes me sadnes and incredible stress...

Isn't it sad that your interests in life make you ponder in this life of desparation...
But if I GIVE THAT INTEREST, THE SOLITARY INTEREST WHAT WILL I HAVE LEFT?
And how will I go on?

My full name is KARIMA ULLAH
My interest is in the arts
I am basically a scientist who became an artist
So i feel my art has an analytical curosity of dissecting human emotions.
Since science deals with facts and art with fancy, my poetry becomes rooted in logic of fact and fiction
Where sometimes the facts takes over and sometimes the fantasy
Mostly the fancy of wide imagination fly away leaving facts behind.
The reality of the world is so ugly and scary sometimes that the artist automatically doesn't want
to recreate that ugliness of reality in a perfect manner.

His/her imagination touches reality slightly and then leaves it and goes into another gardn of fancy
Fancy and fancy only because the garden doesn't exist and still exist for the artist because the artist
is totally terrified of the ominous reality which can become the artist's personal chaos if the other elements of success and recognition are not in his or her reach...

That angst of conscious eventuality of being a non person, a person whose name no one can pronounce
a person who has been labelled as a non person, an inferior person who exists but doesn't exist at the same time...a being who is no more...

That artist creates his or her paradise of what could have been if the reality of the complex
and un-fair world didn't exist.
It's a kind of wonderful escapism from every day's toublesome reminder of mortality and mortality is riddled with chaos whose existence can't be touched, can't be smeelled, can't be seen but always being felt and felt deeply, so very deeply that one loses oneself and becomes silent.
Silence is the dangerous and the melodiously soothing weapon which sooths the soul temporarily and come back roaring like a plague from which many can not escape.

That is amazing, just amazing...
The Odysse of Karima and her chaos is as complex as the life and it's un-solved riddles and can't be explored in one sitting.  I have to come back
I must come back after what I have heard from your soul full of aesthetics and beauty and terror
which involves not only you and me but the world, the whole world and can't be just left just like that
un-explored, un-finished.  A person has swallowed the history of the world in a few words, "The non person."  'The inferior world,"  'The success and failure"  'The entitlement." "The loneliness of human beings without them being ever awware of."  'The disease which has no distinction."
I must come back...I hope and pray that I can so we can express our selves and our similarities and our origins and our histories fully since you have, Karima opened up a bit after decades of silenec
we can't let this moment turn into dust, ash and waste.

Thank you Karima...from the bottom of my heart.  You breaking your silence is not only a step forward toward's your healing but mine as well. We were born apart but still not apart in life...
As long as you breath, you have to speak and I am coming back to listen to you...
Please breath till then.  BREATH, BREATH, BREATH

DOCTOR HAS HIS PATIENT

DOCTOR HAS HIS PATIENT

"Doctor has his patient"
The doctor's private patient
The queen's doctor
The queen and her psychiatrist
The exclusive doctor of a queen
The exclusive doctor of a queen

Me and my therapist
An exclusive therapist
One psychiatrist
One patient
Private psychiatrist of an ill queen
Time has come

Time has come
For doctor to have his patient
Yes, A private oatient
A private doctor
For a private patient
The time is here
The time has come

Elements of illnesses
Facebook
Technology
Wars
Virus
Covid-19
Virus again
Covid-19 again
Another wave
Another spike
Lockdown
No lockdown
Lockdown again
No lockdown
Time is here

Time has come
Time has come for the patient
To have his private doctor
Time Has come
For the patient to have a psychiartist
Pandemic
And pandemic again
Went away
Then came back
The virus
The covid-19
Like an unwelcomed guest
Keeps coming back
Time has come

Time has come
To treat all elements of illnesses
Fashion
The fame of celebrity
The fakeness
The news
The politicians
The un-equality
The suicides
The poverty
The color of skin
The color of all skins
The whiteness of South of France
The whiteness of Martha's Vineyard
The whiteness of Hamptons
Time has come

The time has come
For the new normal
No shelters
Elements of illnesses
The nursing homes
The dead inside
The dead inside
The trucks
for days
For months
The smell
The smell of a gutter
The smell of a thousand gutters
Clean up your house
Clean up your mind
The doctor has his new patient

Time has come
To eliminate illnesses
We are not in a play
Written by Shakespeare
Murders of Macbeth
The jealousy of Othello
We are not in a play
Written by surrealists
Written by absurdists
Time is here

To smell coffee
Tea
Herbal tea
Water
Organic water
Clean water
Clean streets
No garbage
No, no garbage
Make the streets like Provance
Like the clean waves of the occean
Time has come

For love
For love making
No hate
Enough of that
No, not allowed
Hate
Poverty
In-equality
Not allowed
New normal
New normal
Time has come for the new normal

Doctor has his new patient
Healing has to begin
Yes, the doctor is also a psychiatrist
He is here to heal you
Allow him
Allow him for you to grasp the importance of fresh air
Breathe
Breathe
Breathe
Breath is life
New life
Time has come
For the new life to be born

Elimination of the elements of illnesses
No construction
No new buildings
No demolitions
No new condominions
No new high rises
No new penthouses
Time has come

Time has come
For new gardens
For new daffodils
For new cherry blossoms
For new adventures
For travels
For museums
For paintings
For poets
Dust off your books of Edgar Allen Poe
You forgot him completely
Didn't you?
Yes, you did
You forgot him
You went on Instagram instead
Dust off your Rimbaud
Dust off your Yeats
And Milton and Homer and Keats
Healing has to begin

The doctor has his new patient
The doctor is here
The doctor is here to heal you
Yes, He is also your psychiatrist
He is the surrealist
He is the absurdist
He is the realist
He is the experimental playwright of your destiny
Let him write a brand new play
An experimental play
Like all new medicines
Have to be experimented on monkeys
Be the monkey of progress
A very good cause

The doctor is here
To write a new play for his patient
Treatment through art
Soon you will not only heal
But you will have a new experimental, avant garde play
Time is here

Time has come
For your new play to be performed
Take it on the road
Take it on the road
Time has come

For you to perform your show
Take it on the road
Perform literally on the road
Perform on the street corners
Perform in the ancient squares
Perform on the bridges

Maybe not on the bridges
Some one might push you over the bridge
Every one is not yet healed
Every patient have to have a doctor
Be careful...

You just came out of Corona
You don't want to die on the bridge of a foreign country
Before the debut of your experimental play
Be careful of jealousy
Envy is evil
Should have been eliminated with Covid-19
All evil should have been vanished
No more time for Illnesses
Time to heal

Time has come
For you to perform your play
Your one woman play
Very fashionable now
Was always fashionable
Especially when a star did it
Now there is no star system
Every one who surived Corona is a star
That was one fucking killer
Wasn't it?

It was
The lockdown
The same room
The same dust
The same air
The sameness of every day

Cook, clean, do the dishes, laundry, loneliness, isolation
Day after day, day after day
Never ending...

But now all gone
We did it
We pushed it away
With our togetherness
Remeber when the politicians
And multimillionaires told us,
"We are all in this together."
And then they took their billion dollar yachts out for social-distance

And the rest of rich New Yorkers went to the Hamptons
Left the nurses and the drivers and the police men
And the subway operators and the older people in nursing homes to die...
Yes, we were all in that together...

Yes, I remeber vivedly
And the doctor put it all in the play
The play he wrote for his patient
The new doctor, the new patient
The new play...
To be performed on the road

Perfom on the roads of Spain
England
Ireland
Denmark
Sweden
Finland
Japan
China
Germany
Switzerland

Perfom in the streets of all those elegant countries
First world
The first progressive white world
Advanced in every which way...

Science
Literature
Art
Democracy
Education
Knowledge...

So lucky after such tragedy
Light at the end of the tunnel
The play, the play, the play

Time has come
To perform that play
"Private doctor has his private patient."
'Private psychiatrist of an ill queen."

"PRIVATE PSYICHIATRIST OF AN ILL QUEEN"
A
ONE WOMAN PLAY

WRITTEN AND DIRECTED BY THE DOCTOR.
PERFORMED BY THE PATIENT

THE HEALING HAS BEGUN.........

Time has come
To take the play on the road
Will be performed all over the world
Take the doctor along, in case.........

copyright:binasharif 2020