I hate this guy constantly looking at me
I don't care what anyone else says but I hate this guy
Every time I look up from my book, I find him staring at me
And the stare is not of any warmth or kindness or admiration.
The ,"Look" is scary, a dangerous kind of a look.
He is Up to something
Its a dangerous kind of a look.
He is Up to something
Its an Un-comfortable look
Not for him but for me, the Un-comfort, I mean.
Its a kind of a look which says, "I am going to get you bitch."
No I am not paranoid But I should be
Every time I look up from my book, he is looking at me
Why is he looking at me?
Its not my necklace he is admiring
Thats for sure
He is not a necklace kind of a guy
The aesthetic of the necklace escapes him
He has a different kind of a look
A look one can't describe
At least I can't
But I know something about danger and dangerous kind of people.
He for sure doesn't like me
Doesn't like my look
Not familiar with my look
Kind of an Un-known look
The distant, Unknowable fear creating look
Not like him
No I am not like him
No, I don't look like him
And he doesn't like that
He likes people who look like him
He is comfortable in the cafe with people who look like him
And people who look like me don't go to this particular cafe
Its kind of expansive
The Pannini used to be $9 and now its $11
He is eating one
I am not......
He is still looking at me
I find his constant look dangerous
He is eating slowly
Thats an Unlikely habit for a progressive person
Maybe he is not progressive
But he is always on his laptop
Only progressive people are always on their laptop, I pad, I pod, smart phone
I am not progressive
I am not on any pod, or pad or laptop
Maybe thats why he is looking at me
He is thinking, "What is this strange looking person doing in a progressive
neighborhood with one million dollar worth of condos and without a laptop
and without a pannini.....
Oh! god when will his pannini finish?
And the sandwich is kind of European style
Smaller than the heaping American sandwich where tuna in between the slices of soggy bread
keep falling all over your clean shirt and all that mayonaise dripping, dripping, dripping....
I have stopped wearing clean shirts....
Maybe thats why he is staring at me because of my not so clean shirt
But at this point my t shirt is not filthy yet....
I have no 11 $ for the sandwich....
But clean shirts get dirty the moment you take your first bite in a diner
but people in diners finish their mounting sandwiches in two gulps so nothing falls on their shirts
Everything falls inside their stomachs....
And he is still sitting on his sophisticated pannini...
He has a reason to eat slowly so that he can keep staring at me a bit longer.
He doesn't like me
Thats obvious
So why say something so obvious?
He doesn't like you
Every one got that
What do you think?
People listing to me are idiots?
No they are not
They know that this man doesn't like me
Why?
Why? you ask
Why? you ask....
Are you from here?
No
So?
So what?
He doesn't like foreigners
The city is full of foreigners
He doesn't like them..........
Not used to them
No, he is not..............
His hatred comes from something called, Fear"
He is afraid of me?
No
So?
So, he doesn't like threatening things
I am threatning?
For him you are
I am a threat sitting in the cafe reading a book
Yes
Why?
You are too calm
You are in a cafe
You are reading a book
You should be cleaning some one's toilets
Me?
Cleaning toilets?
Yes
Why?
You look foreign
I am
So
So what?
You don't have the luxury to sit in a fancy cafe and read CAMUS
Maybe he doesn't like Camus
No, thats not it, he doesn't know Camus, he just is not comfortable with you being here in the same space with him...........
Now you are paranoid
I knew you will call me paranoid but you are so simplistic
I am not simplistic, I am reading Camus
You are. You are simplistic about other things, about life, about the rights of a foreigner, about
space, about white and black, about strangeness, about traditions, about values, about danger people present to others psyche for whatever reason, you are naive about all those things....
In life you can't be just smart because you read a book or two, you have to know people, you have to know the history, politics, religions, people's fears of the Un-known, fear of things which look different that themselves, of people who think differently, speak differently, dress differently, people have to become a mass, a whole mass of sameness to make others comfortable....after all you are in his country, you have to behave like him, look like him, eat like him, have a laptop, don't read Camus, be on a lap top.....
Oh! my god, I almost said nothing to you and you just gave me a fucking lecture.....
I am trying to help you deal with people like they deal with you.
Have a laptop, buy a pannini and stare at him......he will stop...because you will become one of them...no more fear of you ant more....you need to go deeper onto the darler depths of people who might not like you for whatever reason and even kill you for that.
People who have genuine reason for ,"Fear" in today's faboulously free world.
Free world want every one to be exactly alike and you are so different and daring, sitting in a cafe without a laptop and spending fifty dollars and looking like a fucking foreigner.....
How dare you?
How dare you create fear in people's heart?
He is afraid for his life
He has fear of your presence
Thats why he is staring at you because you have no right to be here in this cafe and he wants you to get the hell out...........
Thats why he is staring at you because he is afraid of you.............
Me?
Yes
Why?
Arn't you a foreigner?
So?
Please.....don't be so simplistic, after all you are reading Camus.......................
Friday, December 20, 2013
Thursday, December 19, 2013
NO MORE OF THIS, NO MORE OF THAT
NO MORE OF THIS, NO MORE OF THAT
That remains to be seen
But I will try
No more talking
No more complaining
No more helping
No more discussing
No more interference
No more consulting
No more speechifying
No more interest
No more help
No more concern
No more telling of this and that
No more of what to do?
No more of when to do it?
No more of doing anything
No more of not doing anything
No more of ,"Oh! what happened?"
No more of,"OH! what's the reason?"
No more of that
No.
No more of that
No. No more of anything
No more expression
No more of sorrow
No more of sadness
No more of loneliness
No. NO more complain of that
No. No more of that
No more of communication
No more of lack of communication
No more of anything important
No more of anything substantial
No more of nothingness
No more of fighting for equality
No more of fighting for anything
No more of aggression
No more of frustration
No more of hate
No more of anger
No more complain of mice
No more talk of dirt
No more talk of dust
No more expectation of companionship
No. No more of that
No more of the memory of past
No talk of future
No. No more of that
No. No more of that evil
No more of the present
No. No more of that
No more of trouble
No. No more of that
No more of happiness
No, No more of that
No more of joy
No more of laughter
No more of companionship
No. No more of that
No more of money
NP. No more of that
No more of the lack of money
No. No more of that
No more of the family
No more of the good old days
No. No more of that
No more of siblings
No. No more of that
No more of love
No. No more of that
No more of desire
No. No more of that
No more of ambition
No more of a profession
No more of company
No more of conversation
No. No more of that
No more of anything
No. no more of anything……………
No more
No more
No more
No more of anything so silly such as happiness
No. no more of that
No more of this
No no more of that…………………….
That remains to be seen
But I will try
No more talking
No more complaining
No more helping
No more discussing
No more interference
No more consulting
No more speechifying
No more interest
No more help
No more concern
No more telling of this and that
No more of what to do?
No more of when to do it?
No more of doing anything
No more of not doing anything
No more of ,"Oh! what happened?"
No more of,"OH! what's the reason?"
No more of that
No.
No more of that
No. No more of anything
No more expression
No more of sorrow
No more of sadness
No more of loneliness
No. NO more complain of that
No. No more of that
No more of communication
No more of lack of communication
No more of anything important
No more of anything substantial
No more of nothingness
No more of fighting for equality
No more of fighting for anything
No more of aggression
No more of frustration
No more of hate
No more of anger
No more complain of mice
No more talk of dirt
No more talk of dust
No more expectation of companionship
No. No more of that
No more of the memory of past
No talk of future
No. No more of that
No. No more of that evil
No more of the present
No. No more of that
No more of trouble
No. No more of that
No more of happiness
No, No more of that
No more of joy
No more of laughter
No more of companionship
No. No more of that
No more of money
NP. No more of that
No more of the lack of money
No. No more of that
No more of the family
No more of the good old days
No. No more of that
No more of siblings
No. No more of that
No more of love
No. No more of that
No more of desire
No. No more of that
No more of ambition
No more of a profession
No more of company
No more of conversation
No. No more of that
No more of anything
No. no more of anything……………
No more
No more
No more
No more of anything so silly such as happiness
No. no more of that
No more of this
No no more of that…………………….
Wednesday, December 4, 2013
AN ABSOLUTE MESS
AN ABSOLUTE MESS
KARIMA ULLAH' MESSED UP LIFE
KARIMA ULLAH:
I fucked up my life
I fucked up completely, absolutely and completely.
I am responsible for the fuck up.
No one else is to be blamed
But the most difficult problem to handle right now is that...
I am still fucking up the remaining days of my life.
And believe it or not,
thats really bothering me because now I am 100% aware that I am fucking up
my remaining life and thats what's so immensely disturbing.
Before (Earlier) in my life I didn't know.
I wasn't aware that I was fucking up so it didn't bother me.
But now I am so conscious of the fuck ups(and still can't stop)
Thats the real tragedy which perhaps will be the source of ultimate breakdown.
But the matter of fact statement is (That as sure as I am of my birth)
I am so certain 100% positive that I did fuck up ...My entire life.
My life is fucked up.
My life is fucked up and I did it.
I fucked it all up.
I did it.
I fucked up my life
And now my life is absolutely and completely fucked up.
My life is fucked up.
And thats all I have to say.
Since its totally fucked up (My life I mean)
I should now relax and don't give a fuck.
Why must Karima Ullah give a fuck about a totally fucked up life?
And on top of it that its she (Karima Ullah) who did it herself.
Its her (me) who fucked it all up (My life I mean)
But since I am still fucking it up (My life ) I mean
I can't stop having nervous break downs.
So should you (I mean me)
I should
I should have a million mile long nervous breakdowns because it was my life
Don't they tell you that life is so precious blah...blah..blah..blah
And I , me, Karima Ullah fucked it all up
So why should I not have huge, enormous, complete nervous breakdowns?
Why do I need the permission of absolutely normal people to have my nervous breakdown?
My nervous breakdown which I earned after such a long and hard life which I
(Karima Ullah ) totally fucked up by her own hand
Fucked it all up...smashed like a moreno glass tray from Venice which I payed a fortune for
and then smashed it
Can you see the sanity of the choice?
No way.
Sane people only see sane choices, they recognize them because they make them.
Choices such as, {I am going to hustle and get ahead, no matter what"
I mean thats what hustle means...No matter what...
is the hustle.
Otherwise a person will say, "I am going to get ahead."
Nothing else but when, "NO matter what" is added to it...
That means,"Hustle."
Fucked up people don't know that.
Thats why they keep fucking up their entire life.
Only normal, sane people quietly say to themselves.,
"I am going to make it, no matter what."
"I am going to make it and I am going to fuck every one else up on the way."
But fucked up people like me (Karima Ullah ) say, "
I am going to get ahead and fuck up my life."
They don't say, "Hey, wait a minute, I am going to fuck you up and get ahead."
They say, "Hey, you know what, you go get ahead because I am so busy fucking it up."
"Fucking up my life" I mean.
Yes, thats what Karima means and thats what Karima Ullah did.
Karima Ullah fucked up her life and she is still doing it...................................
KARIMA ULLAH' MESSED UP LIFE
KARIMA ULLAH:
I fucked up my life
I fucked up completely, absolutely and completely.
I am responsible for the fuck up.
No one else is to be blamed
But the most difficult problem to handle right now is that...
I am still fucking up the remaining days of my life.
And believe it or not,
thats really bothering me because now I am 100% aware that I am fucking up
my remaining life and thats what's so immensely disturbing.
Before (Earlier) in my life I didn't know.
I wasn't aware that I was fucking up so it didn't bother me.
But now I am so conscious of the fuck ups(and still can't stop)
Thats the real tragedy which perhaps will be the source of ultimate breakdown.
But the matter of fact statement is (That as sure as I am of my birth)
I am so certain 100% positive that I did fuck up ...My entire life.
My life is fucked up.
My life is fucked up and I did it.
I fucked it all up.
I did it.
I fucked up my life
And now my life is absolutely and completely fucked up.
My life is fucked up.
And thats all I have to say.
Since its totally fucked up (My life I mean)
I should now relax and don't give a fuck.
Why must Karima Ullah give a fuck about a totally fucked up life?
And on top of it that its she (Karima Ullah) who did it herself.
Its her (me) who fucked it all up (My life I mean)
But since I am still fucking it up (My life ) I mean
I can't stop having nervous break downs.
So should you (I mean me)
I should
I should have a million mile long nervous breakdowns because it was my life
Don't they tell you that life is so precious blah...blah..blah..blah
And I , me, Karima Ullah fucked it all up
So why should I not have huge, enormous, complete nervous breakdowns?
Why do I need the permission of absolutely normal people to have my nervous breakdown?
My nervous breakdown which I earned after such a long and hard life which I
(Karima Ullah ) totally fucked up by her own hand
Fucked it all up...smashed like a moreno glass tray from Venice which I payed a fortune for
and then smashed it
Can you see the sanity of the choice?
No way.
Sane people only see sane choices, they recognize them because they make them.
Choices such as, {I am going to hustle and get ahead, no matter what"
I mean thats what hustle means...No matter what...
is the hustle.
Otherwise a person will say, "I am going to get ahead."
Nothing else but when, "NO matter what" is added to it...
That means,"Hustle."
Fucked up people don't know that.
Thats why they keep fucking up their entire life.
Only normal, sane people quietly say to themselves.,
"I am going to make it, no matter what."
"I am going to make it and I am going to fuck every one else up on the way."
But fucked up people like me (Karima Ullah ) say, "
I am going to get ahead and fuck up my life."
They don't say, "Hey, wait a minute, I am going to fuck you up and get ahead."
They say, "Hey, you know what, you go get ahead because I am so busy fucking it up."
"Fucking up my life" I mean.
Yes, thats what Karima means and thats what Karima Ullah did.
Karima Ullah fucked up her life and she is still doing it...................................
Monday, November 18, 2013
FRAGMENTATION OF A LIFE: FRAGMENTS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE
FRAGMENTATION OF A LIFE
(FRAGMENTS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE)
(FRAGMENTS SCATTERED ALL OVER THE PLACE)
EVER DAY'S NOTES TO MYSELF WITHOUT EVER FOLLOWING THEM
EVERY DAY'S NOTES TO MYSELF WITHOUT EVER FOLLOWING THEM
BILL, THE THIEF
BILL, THE THIEF
Collector
Dealer of art
Business, Export, Import
Money, financial advisor
Hedge fund consultant
Consultant
Just consultant who consult
Consult about everything
Oil, Gas, Special precious stones
Money, shares, Kmart, Wall mart, every kind of Mart
Real estate
Travel agency owner
Wheeler and dealer
Traveller
LOOKS
Good looking, sexy, handsome, young, lot of hair on his head
Boy friend of Dana, Fiance
DANA;
The girl friend
Widow of a rich deceased husband who died of aids and had two grown up
children from a previous marriage, (Linda and Russel)
Husband left everything,(Lots of money) for Dana and nothing for the children.
Linda, the daughter and Russel, the son are pissed with anger and jealousy.
Dana afraid of losing her inheritence puts it on Bill's name temporarily on the promise
of marriage within a month or two and then all the money will be transfered back to Dana
but in the case of any emergency, Bill will be the sole owner of her property.
She tells Bill that after her imminent birthday she will transfer
everything back to her name on her lawyers advice.
(ALL THIS WILL BE TOLD AT THE END BY MARK CUNNINGHAM TO
NANDANI........ONCE THEY DISCOVERED THE BAG.........
Collector
Dealer of art
Business, Export, Import
Money, financial advisor
Hedge fund consultant
Consultant
Just consultant who consult
Consult about everything
Oil, Gas, Special precious stones
Money, shares, Kmart, Wall mart, every kind of Mart
Real estate
Travel agency owner
Wheeler and dealer
Traveller
LOOKS
Good looking, sexy, handsome, young, lot of hair on his head
Boy friend of Dana, Fiance
DANA;
The girl friend
Widow of a rich deceased husband who died of aids and had two grown up
children from a previous marriage, (Linda and Russel)
Husband left everything,(Lots of money) for Dana and nothing for the children.
Linda, the daughter and Russel, the son are pissed with anger and jealousy.
Dana afraid of losing her inheritence puts it on Bill's name temporarily on the promise
of marriage within a month or two and then all the money will be transfered back to Dana
but in the case of any emergency, Bill will be the sole owner of her property.
She tells Bill that after her imminent birthday she will transfer
everything back to her name on her lawyers advice.
(ALL THIS WILL BE TOLD AT THE END BY MARK CUNNINGHAM TO
NANDANI........ONCE THEY DISCOVERED THE BAG.........
Sunday, November 17, 2013
ENHANCE YOUR EXISTENCE
ENHANCE YOUR EXISTENCE
H is there not to hinder
but to enhance your existence.
its you who is there to hinder it.
H is not part of the whole day
till the evening
early evening....
Accomplish everything you want to accomplish
independently and freely during the day on your own
No restrictions, no restraint...
Freedom all the way, the whole day.
In the evening...
things to do to heal the soul
which might have been injured during the day
or during the week,
or during the month,
or during the year,
or during a life time
In the evenings
do things to heal the soul
Theater
Gallery
Movie
museum
or....
Stay in and have dinner
and watch a movie
Netflix
Not for nothing
Was created not for nothing
Sit on the couch and watch a movie on netflix
Don't worry about a thing
Don't worry about any problem
Don't worry
And if you have to...
Worry later
Always worry later
Do...And worry later
Postpone the worry
no.don't postpone the movie
Just postpone the worry...
After the movie if
the worry is coming back...
watch another movie
After all you have Netflix
watch another movie
postpone the next worry...
keep postponing it...
If it has any respect for itself it will go away....
Then you can sleep.
In the morning?
Its up to you...
Netflix?
No.
I don't recommend it.
Its part of therapy
which only is recommended at night time
During the day light be useful
useful to yourself
No, not to others
Later....
Much later...
You can be useful to others....
much, much later ...
Somewhere in the later afternoon...
For fifteen minutes,
you can be useful to others.
Be alone with yourself
During the daylight
Daylight is very good to be good to yourself
Be useful.....
To yourself......
Alone...
All alone...
Doing things for yourself
Whatever yourself requires....
needs to be done during the day light...
Food for your survival....
Exercise for your health
Clothes to be presentable
makeup to look good
work to make money
all need to be done during the day light
Then you can meet H for coffee
or a meal
or a chat
That's nice
Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Damn it.....
Isn't it nice to meet for coffee with H or M or A or S or C or L or W?
Only after the day light is over
and the things for yourself have been done....
Only then you can meet all the alphabets.......
not before...
No, not allowed
Yes, not allowed....
No.
You are not free
There are rules to be obeyed....
Rules?
Yes.
There are rules
To live,
There are rules
which must be obeyed....
Yes.
You can't hang around the alphabets during the daylight
Be useful to yourself
How many times,
You want me to say it to you.
Daylight, is meant for you and only you...
You hear?
Night time ?
Yes, night time is for netflix...
Yes,
Time for Netflix.....
Isn't that nice?
Yes.
That's very nice.
Very, very nice....................
H is there not to hinder
but to enhance your existence.
its you who is there to hinder it.
H is not part of the whole day
till the evening
early evening....
Accomplish everything you want to accomplish
independently and freely during the day on your own
No restrictions, no restraint...
Freedom all the way, the whole day.
In the evening...
things to do to heal the soul
which might have been injured during the day
or during the week,
or during the month,
or during the year,
or during a life time
In the evenings
do things to heal the soul
Theater
Gallery
Movie
museum
or....
Stay in and have dinner
and watch a movie
Netflix
Not for nothing
Was created not for nothing
Sit on the couch and watch a movie on netflix
Don't worry about a thing
Don't worry about any problem
Don't worry
And if you have to...
Worry later
Always worry later
Do...And worry later
Postpone the worry
no.don't postpone the movie
Just postpone the worry...
After the movie if
the worry is coming back...
watch another movie
After all you have Netflix
watch another movie
postpone the next worry...
keep postponing it...
If it has any respect for itself it will go away....
Then you can sleep.
In the morning?
Its up to you...
Netflix?
No.
I don't recommend it.
Its part of therapy
which only is recommended at night time
During the day light be useful
useful to yourself
No, not to others
Later....
Much later...
You can be useful to others....
much, much later ...
Somewhere in the later afternoon...
For fifteen minutes,
you can be useful to others.
Be alone with yourself
During the daylight
Daylight is very good to be good to yourself
Be useful.....
To yourself......
Alone...
All alone...
Doing things for yourself
Whatever yourself requires....
needs to be done during the day light...
Food for your survival....
Exercise for your health
Clothes to be presentable
makeup to look good
work to make money
all need to be done during the day light
Then you can meet H for coffee
or a meal
or a chat
That's nice
Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Isn't it?
Damn it.....
Isn't it nice to meet for coffee with H or M or A or S or C or L or W?
Only after the day light is over
and the things for yourself have been done....
Only then you can meet all the alphabets.......
not before...
No, not allowed
Yes, not allowed....
No.
You are not free
There are rules to be obeyed....
Rules?
Yes.
There are rules
To live,
There are rules
which must be obeyed....
Yes.
You can't hang around the alphabets during the daylight
Be useful to yourself
How many times,
You want me to say it to you.
Daylight, is meant for you and only you...
You hear?
Night time ?
Yes, night time is for netflix...
Yes,
Time for Netflix.....
Isn't that nice?
Yes.
That's very nice.
Very, very nice....................
BOTTOM OF THE VALLEY
BOTTOM OF THE VALLEY
"Everything fun is in the tights"
"I don't care and no one else either."
"The time has passed."
"Its not in my control"
"And it never was."
"And I can't regret what has already happened."
"It was the result of many other factors beside me."
"It can't be all me."
"All the troubles and failures of whatever can't be just me."
"Can it be?"
"Family trouble?"
"Me?"
"Critics?"
"Me?"
"People?"
"Me?"
"Friends?"
"Me?"
"Relationships?"
"Me?"
"Apartment?"
"Me?"
"Everything?"
"Me?"
'Unbelievable."
"Me?"
"Need a break."
"Me---need a break."
"Me----need a break from all the blames."
"Me---at the bottom of the valley"
"Me need to be pulled up."
"Me---up, up, up, up up,up,up,up"
"Me! hurry, up."
"Me---hurry up, to the top of the valley."
"Me! bottom of anything and everything is not pleasing to the senses."
"Not pleasing to my senses."
"The bottom"
"Bottom" is not pleasant."
"Get to the top."
"Who?"
"Me! get to the top."
"Top of the valley."
"Everything fun is in the tights"
"I don't care and no one else either."
"The time has passed."
"Its not in my control"
"And it never was."
"And I can't regret what has already happened."
"It was the result of many other factors beside me."
"It can't be all me."
"All the troubles and failures of whatever can't be just me."
"Can it be?"
"Family trouble?"
"Me?"
"Critics?"
"Me?"
"People?"
"Me?"
"Friends?"
"Me?"
"Relationships?"
"Me?"
"Apartment?"
"Me?"
"Everything?"
"Me?"
'Unbelievable."
"Me?"
"Need a break."
"Me---need a break."
"Me----need a break from all the blames."
"Me---at the bottom of the valley"
"Me need to be pulled up."
"Me---up, up, up, up up,up,up,up"
"Me! hurry, up."
"Me---hurry up, to the top of the valley."
"Me! bottom of anything and everything is not pleasing to the senses."
"Not pleasing to my senses."
"The bottom"
"Bottom" is not pleasant."
"Get to the top."
"Who?"
"Me! get to the top."
"Top of the valley."
Tuesday, November 12, 2013
DANOD
DANOD
Too emotional for the wrong reasons
Using emotions on the wrong people
Too much nonsense in the head
Too much nonsense with the wrong people
Too much nonsense with people
Too many nonsensical people surrounds you
Too much nonsense and nothing of sense in your head
Too much nonsense involved with the people
People and their nonsense
Nonsense all the way
Nonsense all around
Nonsense and nothing else
Cut it out the whine and the nonsense
Nothing but nonsense
A short story of nonsense
A rather long story, a very long story of nonsense
You have completely forgotten who you are
You have surrounded yourself with nonsense
Too many nonsensical elements surrounds you
You have allowed enormous amount of nonsense in your existence
Too many useless pathetic, needy, miserable emotions
Too much waste of nonsensical residue of septic contents
You have engulfed too much shame, pain, apology, guilt, sense of failure, blame, negativity in your head
Head is swollen filled with nonsense upon nonsense upon nonsense
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Its already too late
Too late , too late, too late
WAKE UP
Guard yourself and your integrity
Guard your knowledge
Guard your affection
Guard your intelligence
Guard your achievements
Guard your achievements with your life
GIFT
God gave you a gift
A gift in the form of a rope
And you say,"Oh! I can't pull the rope"
You can't pull the rope?
You are refusing the gift
So go ahead, refuse the gift
Tell God, you don't need it
Tell god to take it back
But no. You take the gift but then you refuse to pull the rope
Neither you want to give the gift back, nor you want to push the gift forward
You want to sit motionless, blaming yourself or the others
Blame won't do nothing to you or to your god given gift
Why don't you give back the gift and take a whole lot of blame and sit and blame the world and yourself and hide yourself from the world and lick your wounds and cry and cry
That won't work either
You cheated god
Who gave you a gift
You completely forgot that the rope given to you, which you took was a gift How unfortunate that you look at the rope,as a mere,"ROPE" and a source of your burden and all your Un-welcomed troubles
and liabilities, a sign of torture is the rope for you
How Un-fortunate for you and your mental tragic and pathetic twists....
You have lost honey
You have lost
For sure ....
And if you haven't lost, you will lose
If you consider your gift as,:Torture"
DIRT
Life is full of dirt
As a writer make your imagination part of that dirt. Make it dusty.
DECENT
Decent things in life
Do you believe in that?
If you do then decide what is decent for you in your life
and live for that
GLOOM
Life is gloomy
Life is Un-pleasant
Ok. Now that is a fact
Now what do you do about it?
Sit down and cry?
Or laugh at it or do something about it..............
TWO SIDES OF THE STORY
There is always two sides of the story
But you have taken only one side of the story and taken the other side of the story completely out
and have trashed it....
Now you are stuck with only one side of it
'Black"
Gloom
Misery
Poverty
Failure
Unhappiness
Blame
Guilt
Problems
Sadness
Sorrow
Death
Regret
Negative
Tears
Clouds
Rain
Storms
Mud
Dirt
filth
SAD THING IS THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE STORY, THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THE STORY, THE SUNNY, BRIGHT SIDE OF THE STORY OUT
AND THROWN AWAY FOR EVER AND EVER AND KEPT THE DARK, DEADLY,
UNHAPPY DISE OF THE STORY FOR YOUR SELF.
YOU, NOT ONLY CHEATED GOD BUT CHEATED YOURSELF ALSO AND CHEATED COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY.
YOU WERE GIVE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY OF LIFE AS A GIFT BUT YOU DISCARDED ONE PART AND STAYED CRYING WITH THE OTHER......
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU
I FEEL SORRY OF YOUR SELF INFLICTED LOSS..................
Too emotional for the wrong reasons
Using emotions on the wrong people
Too much nonsense in the head
Too much nonsense with the wrong people
Too much nonsense with people
Too many nonsensical people surrounds you
Too much nonsense and nothing of sense in your head
Too much nonsense involved with the people
People and their nonsense
Nonsense all the way
Nonsense all around
Nonsense and nothing else
Cut it out the whine and the nonsense
Nothing but nonsense
A short story of nonsense
A rather long story, a very long story of nonsense
You have completely forgotten who you are
You have surrounded yourself with nonsense
Too many nonsensical elements surrounds you
You have allowed enormous amount of nonsense in your existence
Too many useless pathetic, needy, miserable emotions
Too much waste of nonsensical residue of septic contents
You have engulfed too much shame, pain, apology, guilt, sense of failure, blame, negativity in your head
Head is swollen filled with nonsense upon nonsense upon nonsense
Wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up, wake up
Its already too late
Too late , too late, too late
WAKE UP
Guard yourself and your integrity
Guard your knowledge
Guard your affection
Guard your intelligence
Guard your achievements
Guard your achievements with your life
GIFT
God gave you a gift
A gift in the form of a rope
And you say,"Oh! I can't pull the rope"
You can't pull the rope?
You are refusing the gift
So go ahead, refuse the gift
Tell God, you don't need it
Tell god to take it back
But no. You take the gift but then you refuse to pull the rope
Neither you want to give the gift back, nor you want to push the gift forward
You want to sit motionless, blaming yourself or the others
Blame won't do nothing to you or to your god given gift
Why don't you give back the gift and take a whole lot of blame and sit and blame the world and yourself and hide yourself from the world and lick your wounds and cry and cry
That won't work either
You cheated god
Who gave you a gift
You completely forgot that the rope given to you, which you took was a gift How unfortunate that you look at the rope,as a mere,"ROPE" and a source of your burden and all your Un-welcomed troubles
and liabilities, a sign of torture is the rope for you
How Un-fortunate for you and your mental tragic and pathetic twists....
You have lost honey
You have lost
For sure ....
And if you haven't lost, you will lose
If you consider your gift as,:Torture"
DIRT
Life is full of dirt
As a writer make your imagination part of that dirt. Make it dusty.
DECENT
Decent things in life
Do you believe in that?
If you do then decide what is decent for you in your life
and live for that
GLOOM
Life is gloomy
Life is Un-pleasant
Ok. Now that is a fact
Now what do you do about it?
Sit down and cry?
Or laugh at it or do something about it..............
TWO SIDES OF THE STORY
There is always two sides of the story
But you have taken only one side of the story and taken the other side of the story completely out
and have trashed it....
Now you are stuck with only one side of it
'Black"
Gloom
Misery
Poverty
Failure
Unhappiness
Blame
Guilt
Problems
Sadness
Sorrow
Death
Regret
Negative
Tears
Clouds
Rain
Storms
Mud
Dirt
filth
SAD THING IS THAT YOU HAVE TAKEN THE BRIGHT SIDE OF THE STORY, THE POSITIVE SIDE OF THE STORY, THE SUNNY, BRIGHT SIDE OF THE STORY OUT
AND THROWN AWAY FOR EVER AND EVER AND KEPT THE DARK, DEADLY,
UNHAPPY DISE OF THE STORY FOR YOUR SELF.
YOU, NOT ONLY CHEATED GOD BUT CHEATED YOURSELF ALSO AND CHEATED COMPLETELY AND UTTERLY.
YOU WERE GIVE BOTH SIDES OF THE STORY OF LIFE AS A GIFT BUT YOU DISCARDED ONE PART AND STAYED CRYING WITH THE OTHER......
I FEEL SORRY FOR YOU
I FEEL SORRY OF YOUR SELF INFLICTED LOSS..................
Wednesday, November 6, 2013
REVOLUTIONS
REVOLUTIONS
You should have revolution against yourself
Change your ways and change your circumstance and change bad elements
from your surroundings into good elements.
Do things which make you feel better and which make you enjoy the moment you are in." BS
A STREET FULL OF PROSTITUTES BY BS
I don't know why-but I have been excited about today....Since yesterday-
and since day before and since day before that." BS
"Look for temporary peace during the day---every day. Nothing is permanent." BS
MY HOUSE IS FULL OF PAINTINGS AND DRAWINGS BY THE INSANE." BS
You should have revolution against yourself
Change your ways and change your circumstance and change bad elements
from your surroundings into good elements.
Do things which make you feel better and which make you enjoy the moment you are in." BS
A STREET FULL OF PROSTITUTES BY BS
I don't know why-but I have been excited about today....Since yesterday-
and since day before and since day before that." BS
"Look for temporary peace during the day---every day. Nothing is permanent." BS
MY HOUSE IS FULL OF PAINTINGS AND DRAWINGS BY THE INSANE." BS
TODAY I CAN'T
TODAY I CAN'T
"I can give you anything you ask for-anytime-except today
Just not today..............
Today is not a good day for me to give-
Today is the day for me to take...........
Today, you can give me anything you want-
I will take it with pleasure and gratitude." ?????????
'To live is to hurt others and through others, to hurt ourself." Camus
"The harm we do to others the moment we look at them." Camus
"What I realized clearly yesterday is that I want to die." Camus
DIARY OF A THOUGHT
EPISODIC PLAY
EPISODE ONE: i WAS BORN
EPISODE TWO: ITS A SHITTY LIFE
EPISODE THREE: YOU KNOW ABOUT THE THIRD EPISODE.
BUT FOR NOW LETS DEAL WITH EPISODE TWO.
ITS A SHITTY LIFE....................BS
"I can give you anything you ask for-anytime-except today
Just not today..............
Today is not a good day for me to give-
Today is the day for me to take...........
Today, you can give me anything you want-
I will take it with pleasure and gratitude." ?????????
'To live is to hurt others and through others, to hurt ourself." Camus
"The harm we do to others the moment we look at them." Camus
"What I realized clearly yesterday is that I want to die." Camus
DIARY OF A THOUGHT
EPISODIC PLAY
EPISODE ONE: i WAS BORN
EPISODE TWO: ITS A SHITTY LIFE
EPISODE THREE: YOU KNOW ABOUT THE THIRD EPISODE.
BUT FOR NOW LETS DEAL WITH EPISODE TWO.
ITS A SHITTY LIFE....................BS
RULES OF THE GAME
RULES OF THE GAME
Rules of the game must be followed
otherwise you will be punished by me.
And the rules are the same........
Same since a decade, many decades, a Century, many Centuries
and you have not followed them and now you are going to be punished by me." BS
Rules of the game must be followed
otherwise you will be punished by me.
And the rules are the same........
Same since a decade, many decades, a Century, many Centuries
and you have not followed them and now you are going to be punished by me." BS
CAMUS AND ME.............
CAMUS AND ME.........
"I have suddenly ceased to be curious about this country-like certain people
in whom without explanation, I suddenly lose interest." Camus
"I suffer from steady distraction." Camus
"Terrible feeling of being abandoned. Even If I hugged all the beings of the world
to my breast, I would remain unprotected." Camus
"Passion is his only love." Camus
"The only thing I want to say. I am incapable of saying it and now I will
without a doubt never say it." Camus
"This desert of Iron and cement is an Island." Camus about Manhattan
"The atom bomb prohibits Ideaologies. Note-that our age makes the end of Ideaologies." Camus
"Terrible mediocrity of these people. Up Until now I haven't suffered once from the mediocrity
that may have surrounded me. Up-Until now-but here, this intimacy is unbearable." Camus
'Fruitless Idling about." Camus
"People think she is superficial because she is merry." Camus
'Lots of words, not much said." Camus
'As low as you can get." Camus
'My heart oppressed." Camus
"A high powered American dud." Camus about a film
"I prefer this destitution, Stripped down solitude." Camus
'There is no end to the sky and the waters. How well they accompany sadness." Camus
"Long series of Insomniac nights." Camus
"It seems to me that I could be attractive- but to whom?" Camus
"Height of Insomnia." Camus
"He speaks to no one." Camus
"Poverty of days and pain of being." Camus
"Impossible to shake this sadness which I do not understand at all." Camus
"As low as you can get." Camus
"There are moments,however, when I would like to avoid other human beings." Camus
'I was sitting next to him, always sitting next to him when he was thinking those thoughts
and was putting them down.
I was sitting next to him when he was thing those thoughts.
I was sitting next to him and thinking exactly the same thoughts......
I just never put them on a piece of paper
But it for sure seems like that I was always sitting next to him and thinking the same exact thoughts....
I am still having and thinking the same exact thoughts every day, every night, every moment." Bina
"I have suddenly ceased to be curious about this country-like certain people
in whom without explanation, I suddenly lose interest." Camus
"I suffer from steady distraction." Camus
"Terrible feeling of being abandoned. Even If I hugged all the beings of the world
to my breast, I would remain unprotected." Camus
"Passion is his only love." Camus
"The only thing I want to say. I am incapable of saying it and now I will
without a doubt never say it." Camus
"This desert of Iron and cement is an Island." Camus about Manhattan
"The atom bomb prohibits Ideaologies. Note-that our age makes the end of Ideaologies." Camus
"Terrible mediocrity of these people. Up Until now I haven't suffered once from the mediocrity
that may have surrounded me. Up-Until now-but here, this intimacy is unbearable." Camus
'Fruitless Idling about." Camus
"People think she is superficial because she is merry." Camus
'Lots of words, not much said." Camus
'As low as you can get." Camus
'My heart oppressed." Camus
"A high powered American dud." Camus about a film
"I prefer this destitution, Stripped down solitude." Camus
'There is no end to the sky and the waters. How well they accompany sadness." Camus
"Long series of Insomniac nights." Camus
"It seems to me that I could be attractive- but to whom?" Camus
"Height of Insomnia." Camus
"He speaks to no one." Camus
"Poverty of days and pain of being." Camus
"Impossible to shake this sadness which I do not understand at all." Camus
"As low as you can get." Camus
"There are moments,however, when I would like to avoid other human beings." Camus
'I was sitting next to him, always sitting next to him when he was thinking those thoughts
and was putting them down.
I was sitting next to him when he was thing those thoughts.
I was sitting next to him and thinking exactly the same thoughts......
I just never put them on a piece of paper
But it for sure seems like that I was always sitting next to him and thinking the same exact thoughts....
I am still having and thinking the same exact thoughts every day, every night, every moment." Bina
Saturday, November 2, 2013
CAMUS
CAMUS
"Deep down, I feel calm and indifferent,as I generally do in front
of spectacles that don't move me." Camus
"The heart trembles in front of so much admirable inhumanity" Camus
"THe strength,
The order,
The economic power
So much admirable inhumanity."
Camus
(About NY)
"At first glance, a hideous Inhuman city." Camus
"So much bad taste seems hardly imaginable." Camus
"You have to see it to believe it." Camus
(About tie stores in NY)
"Deep down, I feel calm and indifferent,as I generally do in front
of spectacles that don't move me." Camus
"The heart trembles in front of so much admirable inhumanity" Camus
"THe strength,
The order,
The economic power
So much admirable inhumanity."
Camus
(About NY)
"At first glance, a hideous Inhuman city." Camus
"So much bad taste seems hardly imaginable." Camus
"You have to see it to believe it." Camus
(About tie stores in NY)
LOVE OR WHATEVER
LOVE OR WHATEVER
Two blond sisters, (Twins) perhaps?
Eating the same exact dish,(Gnoci) I think?
A glass of Pinot noir, I think?
The same looks
The same dish
The same wine
Thats love or whatever.............
Two blond sisters, (Twins) perhaps?
Eating the same exact dish,(Gnoci) I think?
A glass of Pinot noir, I think?
The same looks
The same dish
The same wine
Thats love or whatever.............
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF SINGING BIRDS
STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF SINGING BIRDS
EPILOGUE:
Show business, we all are in.....
You come to be entertained by me...
And who comes to entertain me?
Thats the question.........
Then you go home
And I am left all alone by myself
You never take me with you
Never....
Never outside this room
You just leave...
You never take me with you
Even when you are highly entertained by me
You always leave me behind..........
If I bored you to death, which is also possible
in our collective show business enterprise
then it would be justified you leaving me behind all
alone by myself after the show....
Taking my make up off all alone by myself,
in a mouldy, damp dressing room and when I come up in the lobby
You are all gone.......
Gone home or gone to the pub or to a bistro to discuss me.....
whether I was able to entertain you or not
If you believed that I did...
You talk about me a bit longer
and if I was unable to make you happy
You will talk about me a bit less and then talk about other things,
your friends, relatives,neighbors,politicians, finance,jewels,fur coats. food,
"Salmon too dry"
"Steak too well done."
"Soup cold."
"Wine too fruity"
And I am totally forgotten
and the next evening the same
Eventually its me always me who gets forgotten at the end.............
The artist is forgotten at the end of the evening
The artist is forgotten at the end of the night
Every one has left except me................................
EPILOGUE:
Show business, we all are in.....
You come to be entertained by me...
And who comes to entertain me?
Thats the question.........
Then you go home
And I am left all alone by myself
You never take me with you
Never....
Never outside this room
You just leave...
You never take me with you
Even when you are highly entertained by me
You always leave me behind..........
If I bored you to death, which is also possible
in our collective show business enterprise
then it would be justified you leaving me behind all
alone by myself after the show....
Taking my make up off all alone by myself,
in a mouldy, damp dressing room and when I come up in the lobby
You are all gone.......
Gone home or gone to the pub or to a bistro to discuss me.....
whether I was able to entertain you or not
If you believed that I did...
You talk about me a bit longer
and if I was unable to make you happy
You will talk about me a bit less and then talk about other things,
your friends, relatives,neighbors,politicians, finance,jewels,fur coats. food,
"Salmon too dry"
"Steak too well done."
"Soup cold."
"Wine too fruity"
And I am totally forgotten
and the next evening the same
Eventually its me always me who gets forgotten at the end.............
The artist is forgotten at the end of the evening
The artist is forgotten at the end of the night
Every one has left except me................................
Sunday, October 20, 2013
RASPUTIN'S ROOM
RASPUTIN'S ROOM
Plants
flowers
Biscuits
Cakes
Nuts
Samovar
Fox cover on the bed
Jams
Fruits
NATASHA:
Stop.
For God's sake stop.
Stop humiliating yourself over him
Stop humiliating yourself over any one
'Humiliation" is the worst word in the English language, stop using it
on yourself
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't love any one
He doesn't love at all
He doesn't know the meaning of love
He is a womanizer
He calls that spirituality
'Achieve nirvana through sex."
Thats his position on sex
That is his mantra
You know how many other women he sees over one weekend beside you?
HE HAS PLENTY OF WOMEN AT HIS DISPOSAL.THEY BECOME GURU AND gOD
AND STUPID WOMEN LIKE YOU RUN TO THEM IN DROVES
SONIA:
I am not a stupid woman
NATASHA:
Then what are you?
Crying over a man who has fifty wives and one thousand mistressess
SONIA:
He doesn't have fifty wives, he has only one
NATASHA:
Oh! how great, he only has one wife whom he leaves behind in the Siberian village
and chase women in Petersbergh all year
SONIA:
He doesn't chase women, women chase him
NATASHA;
Of course, I forgot, women, cry babies, sentimental cows chase him seeking god's forgeivness
from their sins which they are committing right under god's nose if there is any god at all in the name
of royal orgies....
SONIA:
You should respect him a little more, he is sent from god to heal
NATASHA:
Not to heal, not to heal at all, to screw you and all others.. Have some respect for the woman race
SONIA:
Yes, like you, in the name of failed feminism...
NATASHA:
Feminism?
What feminism?
Feminisim hadn't started yet. That was in Russia of 1900. .Feminism started because of men like him
and you talk about him in the present time, you are out of your mind.
SONIA:
He is a healer, he brings back the dead. He has healed so many sick and dying children
NATASHA:
And now he is going to heal you? What a pussy you are? Its not 1900 right now, its 2013 and all gay men have already married and now fighting over the property rights and their relatives will fight over the houses in Marth's Vinyard and the Hamptons afterwards....
And she is talking about frauds in the name of healing. Wake up sweetheart, wake up...
You are not in Russia, there is no Russia, no Rasputin, and no Rasputin's room and no fruits in there
YOU ARE HALLUCINATING WITH FEVER, THE FEVER YOU CALL, LOVE BUT ITS JUST
BRONCHITIS AND DEATH HAS BEEN CHASED AWAY BY DEADLY COSTUMES AND ONE OF THEM IS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE RASPUTIN BUT HIS COSTUME IS LOUSY.
YOU ARE NOT DYING, YOU ARE ACTING, ITS HALLOWEEN AND EVERY ONE IS ACTING, EVEN THE DEATH IS ACTING, DEATH IS ACTING LIKE DEATH WITHOUT BEING REAL DEATH AND RASPUTIN IS LONG DEAD IF HE EXISTED AT ALL...
THINGS WE HAVE NOT SEEN, DON'T EXIST BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T SEEN THEM WITH OUR OWN EYES...WE WILL ONLY DIE WHEN WE WILL SEE DEATH RIGHT IN THE EYES AND RASPUTIN , THE ONE YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH IS NOT RASPUTIN AT ALL, ITS THE COSTUME, THE COSTUME A BUM IS WEARING TO WIN A PRIZE SO HE CAN
DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND SCREW SOME STONED WOMEN LIKE YOU...
ITS ALL about screwing and sucking and fucking, nothing else, there is no love, there is no one to love, they lie, the men I mean...all of them, and I am telling you because I was married 7 times and now I am a full fledged woman who is full of hatred for men, for women, and for the whole human race. I wish the death lurking around the lobby was real and would catch all of them, all of you, the whole human race and me...Then I will be happy, then I will be content tonight, then I will drink and sleep and enjoy my freedom from you , from you and from the whole ugly life which is no life but its death, death, death..... Death is here but we are not going to die, just stoned, stoned out of our brains, dreaming of history and its victory but no human being ever won, no one...Every one lied about the winning but every one lost, only death won. They are all dead, Arn't they? Rasputin and the duke and the Dutchess and Russia and all the other Empires with it. Love no one honey, love your self, get stoned on wine and Hashish like Baudelaire said or get stoned on Poetry but get stoned nevertheless.
Thats the only way to scare death, thats the only way......
Oh! I am so stoned, so stoned and I had no wine yet, no wine, no poetry, no virtue....
and no Sonia....Oh! Sonia, Sonia, where art thou Sonia?
Oh! I am so stoned, Sonia, Sonia, where art thou Sonia?
Plants
flowers
Biscuits
Cakes
Nuts
Samovar
Fox cover on the bed
Jams
Fruits
NATASHA:
Stop.
For God's sake stop.
Stop humiliating yourself over him
Stop humiliating yourself over any one
'Humiliation" is the worst word in the English language, stop using it
on yourself
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't love any one
He doesn't love at all
He doesn't know the meaning of love
He is a womanizer
He calls that spirituality
'Achieve nirvana through sex."
Thats his position on sex
That is his mantra
You know how many other women he sees over one weekend beside you?
HE HAS PLENTY OF WOMEN AT HIS DISPOSAL.THEY BECOME GURU AND gOD
AND STUPID WOMEN LIKE YOU RUN TO THEM IN DROVES
SONIA:
I am not a stupid woman
NATASHA:
Then what are you?
Crying over a man who has fifty wives and one thousand mistressess
SONIA:
He doesn't have fifty wives, he has only one
NATASHA:
Oh! how great, he only has one wife whom he leaves behind in the Siberian village
and chase women in Petersbergh all year
SONIA:
He doesn't chase women, women chase him
NATASHA;
Of course, I forgot, women, cry babies, sentimental cows chase him seeking god's forgeivness
from their sins which they are committing right under god's nose if there is any god at all in the name
of royal orgies....
SONIA:
You should respect him a little more, he is sent from god to heal
NATASHA:
Not to heal, not to heal at all, to screw you and all others.. Have some respect for the woman race
SONIA:
Yes, like you, in the name of failed feminism...
NATASHA:
Feminism?
What feminism?
Feminisim hadn't started yet. That was in Russia of 1900. .Feminism started because of men like him
and you talk about him in the present time, you are out of your mind.
SONIA:
He is a healer, he brings back the dead. He has healed so many sick and dying children
NATASHA:
And now he is going to heal you? What a pussy you are? Its not 1900 right now, its 2013 and all gay men have already married and now fighting over the property rights and their relatives will fight over the houses in Marth's Vinyard and the Hamptons afterwards....
And she is talking about frauds in the name of healing. Wake up sweetheart, wake up...
You are not in Russia, there is no Russia, no Rasputin, and no Rasputin's room and no fruits in there
YOU ARE HALLUCINATING WITH FEVER, THE FEVER YOU CALL, LOVE BUT ITS JUST
BRONCHITIS AND DEATH HAS BEEN CHASED AWAY BY DEADLY COSTUMES AND ONE OF THEM IS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE RASPUTIN BUT HIS COSTUME IS LOUSY.
YOU ARE NOT DYING, YOU ARE ACTING, ITS HALLOWEEN AND EVERY ONE IS ACTING, EVEN THE DEATH IS ACTING, DEATH IS ACTING LIKE DEATH WITHOUT BEING REAL DEATH AND RASPUTIN IS LONG DEAD IF HE EXISTED AT ALL...
THINGS WE HAVE NOT SEEN, DON'T EXIST BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T SEEN THEM WITH OUR OWN EYES...WE WILL ONLY DIE WHEN WE WILL SEE DEATH RIGHT IN THE EYES AND RASPUTIN , THE ONE YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH IS NOT RASPUTIN AT ALL, ITS THE COSTUME, THE COSTUME A BUM IS WEARING TO WIN A PRIZE SO HE CAN
DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND SCREW SOME STONED WOMEN LIKE YOU...
ITS ALL about screwing and sucking and fucking, nothing else, there is no love, there is no one to love, they lie, the men I mean...all of them, and I am telling you because I was married 7 times and now I am a full fledged woman who is full of hatred for men, for women, and for the whole human race. I wish the death lurking around the lobby was real and would catch all of them, all of you, the whole human race and me...Then I will be happy, then I will be content tonight, then I will drink and sleep and enjoy my freedom from you , from you and from the whole ugly life which is no life but its death, death, death..... Death is here but we are not going to die, just stoned, stoned out of our brains, dreaming of history and its victory but no human being ever won, no one...Every one lied about the winning but every one lost, only death won. They are all dead, Arn't they? Rasputin and the duke and the Dutchess and Russia and all the other Empires with it. Love no one honey, love your self, get stoned on wine and Hashish like Baudelaire said or get stoned on Poetry but get stoned nevertheless.
Thats the only way to scare death, thats the only way......
Oh! I am so stoned, so stoned and I had no wine yet, no wine, no poetry, no virtue....
and no Sonia....Oh! Sonia, Sonia, where art thou Sonia?
Oh! I am so stoned, Sonia, Sonia, where art thou Sonia?
Wednesday, October 16, 2013
HALLOWEEN
HALLOWEEN
What to perform at halloween?
What to say?
What to cry about?
What to laugh about?
What to wear?
What to say?
What to perform?
About death?
Or about life?
Or about in between?
In between perhaps
Yes, In between
In between death and life
Or is it the opposite way?
In between life and death?
But it comes to the same thing
What is the meaning of halloween any way?
To scare death...
Some say
To scare death?
To look like death and still try to scare death
Why death will be scared by some one who looks like death?
But how do they know what death looks like?
Have they met death before?
At a party?
Or at a wedding?
Or at a funeral?
Or at a picnic near the edge of a river?
Or in the middle of the Ocean when their aircraft PLUNGED INTO IT?
THEY SEEM SO CONFIDENT ABOUT DEATH'S FACE
How come/
Its just stereotyping
Saw some photographs of death and assumed death's face a certain way
More scary than death actually
But death is still laughing at you
Death is in the lobby
Who knows when it will get you
The moment you step into that crowded hallway
Death will grab you
You won't even know it
You won't even imagine it
You won't even think it
You are so proud of your costume
But its dark,
Its black
Its white
It shimmers
It glows
It hides
It scares
It shines
It blinds you
It cheats you
You think you are enjoying yourself
Don't you
Wait till you get into that lobby
If I were you I won't take a step out side this room
If I were you I will stay stuck in this chair
If I were you I will never leave this seat
But let me tell you death will still come
No matter where you hide death will be coming
You think this is a depressing topic?
Death, death, death
Go out and see how many creative artists and theater goers and the
bored house wives look so glamorous and deadly to night
They want to either match death or defeat death
The one who will be able to scare death to shit will win the prize today
But we will all win the prizes some day
No you don't want to?
So why did it take you one week to make this out landish costume?
I don't understand
Yes, thats right,
I don't understand
When I tell people honestly that I don't understand your holidays
They say, "NO.YOu don't. You are a foreigner."
So Thats what I think and now believe
That I don't understand
Yes, I am an outsider
Yes, death won't come to me here
Its not my land
I don't understand and the people who were born here tell me that I don't understand
Are correct
And that is the reason that I don't understand what Halloween is all about?
Is it about life?
Is it about death?
Is it between living and dying?
Or is it about living or dying?
Or is it about never dying?
Or is it about living for ever?
Or is it just a party to have fun till we die?
So can an outsider allowed to have fun till he/she dies?
Can a foreigner who doesn't actually understand anything about the foreign culture
in which she/he lives join and enjoy the party?
If you give me the permission I will stop asking what its all about
I will stop asking the many questions I have about life and death
If you allow me I will just not think about existence and its meanings and faults and aches and paains
and just enjoy the party
If you allow me I will go out and boldly encounter death in the lobby and under the influence of cheap red wine and still dodge death
If you will allow me I will laugh at the face of its ugliness and have another glass of red wine
If you will allow me I will go into the bigger room where people who will never die are dancing
If you will allow me I will join the singing dervesh and dance with him till dawn
If you will allow me the foreigner I will like to be like you thinking its my land, my party, my
halloween, though I don't understand what ius the meaning of it just enjoy myself neverthe less
If you allow me I will always live like this....
Never understanding anything, never questioning anything, never be critical of anything,
never worrying about anything and always just enjoying myself
Yes, thats what I will do....
Just always enjoy myself
No questions asked
Questions are so boring
Boring, boring, boring
Critical mind is too, boring, boring, boring....
Just enjoy life
Just enjoy life and whatever comes with it...
Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas,
Eat turkey even if you can not swallow it
Eat turkey even if its not tasty and spicy to your taste buds
Eat turkey, I said, now thanksgiving is coming
And no questions asked about what is the meaning of thanksgiving
No questions put forqard to the nice people who invite you to thanksgiving...
Don't say what are you giving thanks for?
No, no questions...
You are a guest in some one's house
No questions
Remember you are a foreigner with no understanding of other people's holidays
You are here just to enjoy whatever comes
And many things do come your way...
Many holidays, many, many holidays
Presidents day
Columbus day
Mothers day
Fathers day
Thanksgiving
Halloween.....
Shut your brain and have fun
Shut your brain, I said and have some wine
No questions
Arn"t you tired of your brain?
Relax.....Be calm....
Whatever the meaning of anything is, is not your concern
Your concern is to just enjoy....
Enjoy whatever comes your way...no matter what comes your way
Rats, dogs, mice, dog's shit, pizza, hummus, turkey.............
Just don;t be a turkey
Just eat turkey.....
Think its delicious
See its delicious
See, death which will be avoided tonight is also delicious
Look how many people who look like death are so delicious.......
What to perform at halloween?
What to say?
What to cry about?
What to laugh about?
What to wear?
What to say?
What to perform?
About death?
Or about life?
Or about in between?
In between perhaps
Yes, In between
In between death and life
Or is it the opposite way?
In between life and death?
But it comes to the same thing
What is the meaning of halloween any way?
To scare death...
Some say
To scare death?
To look like death and still try to scare death
Why death will be scared by some one who looks like death?
But how do they know what death looks like?
Have they met death before?
At a party?
Or at a wedding?
Or at a funeral?
Or at a picnic near the edge of a river?
Or in the middle of the Ocean when their aircraft PLUNGED INTO IT?
THEY SEEM SO CONFIDENT ABOUT DEATH'S FACE
How come/
Its just stereotyping
Saw some photographs of death and assumed death's face a certain way
More scary than death actually
But death is still laughing at you
Death is in the lobby
Who knows when it will get you
The moment you step into that crowded hallway
Death will grab you
You won't even know it
You won't even imagine it
You won't even think it
You are so proud of your costume
But its dark,
Its black
Its white
It shimmers
It glows
It hides
It scares
It shines
It blinds you
It cheats you
You think you are enjoying yourself
Don't you
Wait till you get into that lobby
If I were you I won't take a step out side this room
If I were you I will stay stuck in this chair
If I were you I will never leave this seat
But let me tell you death will still come
No matter where you hide death will be coming
You think this is a depressing topic?
Death, death, death
Go out and see how many creative artists and theater goers and the
bored house wives look so glamorous and deadly to night
They want to either match death or defeat death
The one who will be able to scare death to shit will win the prize today
But we will all win the prizes some day
No you don't want to?
So why did it take you one week to make this out landish costume?
I don't understand
Yes, thats right,
I don't understand
When I tell people honestly that I don't understand your holidays
They say, "NO.YOu don't. You are a foreigner."
So Thats what I think and now believe
That I don't understand
Yes, I am an outsider
Yes, death won't come to me here
Its not my land
I don't understand and the people who were born here tell me that I don't understand
Are correct
And that is the reason that I don't understand what Halloween is all about?
Is it about life?
Is it about death?
Is it between living and dying?
Or is it about living or dying?
Or is it about never dying?
Or is it about living for ever?
Or is it just a party to have fun till we die?
So can an outsider allowed to have fun till he/she dies?
Can a foreigner who doesn't actually understand anything about the foreign culture
in which she/he lives join and enjoy the party?
If you give me the permission I will stop asking what its all about
I will stop asking the many questions I have about life and death
If you allow me I will just not think about existence and its meanings and faults and aches and paains
and just enjoy the party
If you allow me I will go out and boldly encounter death in the lobby and under the influence of cheap red wine and still dodge death
If you will allow me I will laugh at the face of its ugliness and have another glass of red wine
If you will allow me I will go into the bigger room where people who will never die are dancing
If you will allow me I will join the singing dervesh and dance with him till dawn
If you will allow me the foreigner I will like to be like you thinking its my land, my party, my
halloween, though I don't understand what ius the meaning of it just enjoy myself neverthe less
If you allow me I will always live like this....
Never understanding anything, never questioning anything, never be critical of anything,
never worrying about anything and always just enjoying myself
Yes, thats what I will do....
Just always enjoy myself
No questions asked
Questions are so boring
Boring, boring, boring
Critical mind is too, boring, boring, boring....
Just enjoy life
Just enjoy life and whatever comes with it...
Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas,
Eat turkey even if you can not swallow it
Eat turkey even if its not tasty and spicy to your taste buds
Eat turkey, I said, now thanksgiving is coming
And no questions asked about what is the meaning of thanksgiving
No questions put forqard to the nice people who invite you to thanksgiving...
Don't say what are you giving thanks for?
No, no questions...
You are a guest in some one's house
No questions
Remember you are a foreigner with no understanding of other people's holidays
You are here just to enjoy whatever comes
And many things do come your way...
Many holidays, many, many holidays
Presidents day
Columbus day
Mothers day
Fathers day
Thanksgiving
Halloween.....
Shut your brain and have fun
Shut your brain, I said and have some wine
No questions
Arn"t you tired of your brain?
Relax.....Be calm....
Whatever the meaning of anything is, is not your concern
Your concern is to just enjoy....
Enjoy whatever comes your way...no matter what comes your way
Rats, dogs, mice, dog's shit, pizza, hummus, turkey.............
Just don;t be a turkey
Just eat turkey.....
Think its delicious
See its delicious
See, death which will be avoided tonight is also delicious
Look how many people who look like death are so delicious.......
Monday, October 14, 2013
SHAKESPEARE SEASON
SHAKESPEARE SEASON
SHAKESPEARE EVERYWHERE IN NYC
What's going on?
America has gone Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet here
Rome and Juliet there
Romeo and Juliet everywhere
Just saw an old movie, Romeo and Juliet:Zefferelli
Saw Romeo and Juliet at CSC
Missed Romeo and Juliet at broadway
Romeo at CSC was miscast
Didn't have the voice or the ChARISMA
for some one to fall in love with instantly
Doesn't have the powerful emotions to act the last death scene either
Some other cast members were better such as the Frier and the father of Juliet
The nurse played spanish speaking,(Maybe they spoke Spanish in Verona those days)
Or the servants were Spanish but it didn't match the rest of the show
Juliet's mother also spoke Spanish once in a while.
I guess to understand the nurse she had to.
I find the whole scheme the Frier came up with about the sleepy potion and
faking Juliet's death and Romeo missing the letter (Ok, he could easily miss the letter
but she dying of false death and then waking up)
What was he thinking?
...............
Then saw Julius Caesar, all women cast at St Ann's Warehouse.
Very uncomfortable space, lot of security to get in, (Part of the staging)
Lot of sound effects plus camera filming the live stabbing of Caesar, not very effective.
Lively production though, women in prison acting out Julius Caesar, women had lots of energy
my favorite was Frances Barber playing Caesar and the woman playing Portia was good but the best was the actress playing Cassius, Brutus, Harriet Walters good too but Mark Anthony was disappointing,
didn't have the passion to evoke revolt. As a whole an enjoyable show giving women actress a great chance and it was multiethnic casting which is always good and is more in England than here.
Here by the way for a change a black woman is playing Juliet on broadway which is very progressive.
Now I have to catch Richard the 111 and Mid summer nights dream....a lot of Shakespeare...
America has gone classic
SHAKESPEARE EVERYWHERE IN NYC
What's going on?
America has gone Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet here
Rome and Juliet there
Romeo and Juliet everywhere
Just saw an old movie, Romeo and Juliet:Zefferelli
Saw Romeo and Juliet at CSC
Missed Romeo and Juliet at broadway
Romeo at CSC was miscast
Didn't have the voice or the ChARISMA
for some one to fall in love with instantly
Doesn't have the powerful emotions to act the last death scene either
Some other cast members were better such as the Frier and the father of Juliet
The nurse played spanish speaking,(Maybe they spoke Spanish in Verona those days)
Or the servants were Spanish but it didn't match the rest of the show
Juliet's mother also spoke Spanish once in a while.
I guess to understand the nurse she had to.
I find the whole scheme the Frier came up with about the sleepy potion and
faking Juliet's death and Romeo missing the letter (Ok, he could easily miss the letter
but she dying of false death and then waking up)
What was he thinking?
...............
Then saw Julius Caesar, all women cast at St Ann's Warehouse.
Very uncomfortable space, lot of security to get in, (Part of the staging)
Lot of sound effects plus camera filming the live stabbing of Caesar, not very effective.
Lively production though, women in prison acting out Julius Caesar, women had lots of energy
my favorite was Frances Barber playing Caesar and the woman playing Portia was good but the best was the actress playing Cassius, Brutus, Harriet Walters good too but Mark Anthony was disappointing,
didn't have the passion to evoke revolt. As a whole an enjoyable show giving women actress a great chance and it was multiethnic casting which is always good and is more in England than here.
Here by the way for a change a black woman is playing Juliet on broadway which is very progressive.
Now I have to catch Richard the 111 and Mid summer nights dream....a lot of Shakespeare...
America has gone classic
Friday, October 11, 2013
SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY
SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY
REVOLUTION
You should have revolution against yourself.
Change your ways and change your surrounding and change bad elements
of your stubborn habits into good elements.
Do things which makes you feel better and things which makes you
enjoy yourself. And laugh more. You used to.
.............
'Look for temporary peace during the day--everyday.
Nothing is permanent." BS
........
Paintings by the insane.
Paint more. Paint constantly. You are very insane and if you are not
you try very hard to be. You are a perfect candidate for painting.
Thats it. Revolution. Change the bad elements into good ones.
Change insanity into painting.
........
REVOLUTION
You should have revolution against yourself.
Change your ways and change your surrounding and change bad elements
of your stubborn habits into good elements.
Do things which makes you feel better and things which makes you
enjoy yourself. And laugh more. You used to.
.............
'Look for temporary peace during the day--everyday.
Nothing is permanent." BS
........
Paintings by the insane.
Paint more. Paint constantly. You are very insane and if you are not
you try very hard to be. You are a perfect candidate for painting.
Thats it. Revolution. Change the bad elements into good ones.
Change insanity into painting.
........
Wednesday, October 9, 2013
YOU EXIST
YOU EXIST
"But you exist too my dear, and for you existence is weariness and unhappiness." Pavese
'I seek sadness because I was always sad at the time of dusk---
The time when the two times meet---
There was always huge emptiness within at the time of meeting meeting of times." BS
"The fate and the sea is between me and my loved ones." BS
"Believe me. Its not worth it. Nothing is worth it." BS
"TAKE BACK ANGER."
A NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
Laughter is the answer.
Transfer humiliation into laughter
Transfer despair into laughter
Revenge of laughter
"His laughter got even for those sources of humiliation."
In search of laughter
Translate grief into assertiveness, lots of assertiveness, intense assertiveness
Sadness translate into blazing wit, outrageous wit off and on stage, lethal wit.
Becomes friends with the ones you are angry with.
Transfer humiliation into laughter.
Don't love no people. Just be friends with them.
Don't confront, don't interfere
Laughter is the medicine one needs.
Travel is another great way to get rid of grief.
MY TRAVELS, MY WONDERFUL TRAVELS.
I WILL GO TO LONDON
QAIRO
BEIRUT
JORDAN
SYRIA
ALEXANDRIA
LONDON
IN MY DREAMS
I WILL TRAVEL
IN MY DREAMS i WILL BE HAPPY
iN MY DREAMS i WILL LIVE
FOREVER CONTENT
IN MY DREAMS I WILL LIVE WITHOUT GRIEF
IN MY DREAMS I WILL EXIST...........
"But you exist too my dear, and for you existence is weariness and unhappiness." Pavese
'I seek sadness because I was always sad at the time of dusk---
The time when the two times meet---
There was always huge emptiness within at the time of meeting meeting of times." BS
"The fate and the sea is between me and my loved ones." BS
"Believe me. Its not worth it. Nothing is worth it." BS
"TAKE BACK ANGER."
A NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
Laughter is the answer.
Transfer humiliation into laughter
Transfer despair into laughter
Revenge of laughter
"His laughter got even for those sources of humiliation."
In search of laughter
Translate grief into assertiveness, lots of assertiveness, intense assertiveness
Sadness translate into blazing wit, outrageous wit off and on stage, lethal wit.
Becomes friends with the ones you are angry with.
Transfer humiliation into laughter.
Don't love no people. Just be friends with them.
Don't confront, don't interfere
Laughter is the medicine one needs.
Travel is another great way to get rid of grief.
MY TRAVELS, MY WONDERFUL TRAVELS.
I WILL GO TO LONDON
QAIRO
BEIRUT
JORDAN
SYRIA
ALEXANDRIA
LONDON
IN MY DREAMS
I WILL TRAVEL
IN MY DREAMS i WILL BE HAPPY
iN MY DREAMS i WILL LIVE
FOREVER CONTENT
IN MY DREAMS I WILL LIVE WITHOUT GRIEF
IN MY DREAMS I WILL EXIST...........
Tuesday, October 8, 2013
PUFFIN WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY
PUFFIN WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY
No talk of S
No talk of A
No wasting T with any one
No going out just to go out
Exercise
Cook at home
Look for W, W, W, W W, W.
Make some M
For heavens sake apna damag theek kr lai
Baari dher ho ghai aey
Forget about A
Forget about A
forget about it
Keep cool with K
Hun Apna damag theek kurn thee koshash kur lo...
Khuda thaa wasta jey...
Kush hosh kuro
No talk of S
No talk of A
No wasting T with any one
No going out just to go out
Exercise
Cook at home
Look for W, W, W, W W, W.
Make some M
For heavens sake apna damag theek kr lai
Baari dher ho ghai aey
Forget about A
Forget about A
forget about it
Keep cool with K
Hun Apna damag theek kurn thee koshash kur lo...
Khuda thaa wasta jey...
Kush hosh kuro
Tuesday, October 1, 2013
EYES WITHOUT SHAME
EYES WITHOUT SHAME
Who do you think I am?
They will call when they will. Don't worry about it.
Just got really busy
Gates of nothingness
The emptiness of nothingness
The emptiness is in the bones
I looked nothingness in the face and I said,
Who do you think I am?
GRIEF
A
NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
copyright:2013
ITS ABOUT GRIEF
'You don't know what nothingness is." Pavese
Your destiny is the fact of your being." Pavese
I WAS LOOKING FOR MYSELF
I MISPLACED MYSELF SOMEHOW." BS
Recover the past, present, unknown future through writing.
Write down your pain.
Write down your sorrow.
Write down your grief....BS
"That season is over when I wept. I was no longer looking for any one but for myself....Pavese
"Nothingness is everything.
Nothingness has so much in it.
Nothingness engulfs you.
You scatter like ashes, you disintegrate
You disappear." BS
Why do you call people?
People who don't return your calls
People who don't pick up
People who are busy texting , twittering,
Why do you behave vulnerable?
Why do you behave that you need them?
Why do you call people who behave so very important/
Why do you call people who assume a great significance about them?
Why do you call people who contribute nothing positive towards your well being?
Why do you call people who just take your time?
Why do you call people who make you sad when they don't call you back?
Why do you call people who only take from you, who take your effort to reach out
Why do you call people at all?
LONELY ARE YOU?
Not calling today
Not calling tomorrow
Not calling day after
Not calling period
With strangers in chance encounters are you in love?
Don't, they won't love you back
No one loves back
Give yourself no pain of love
Love no one
Love the monkey
Monkey is no longer to be found
All monkeys have been turned into human beings
They were better off when they were just monkeys.
Stop being vulnerable
Stop being so wanting....
Wanting, always wanting, wanting not money, not diamonds, not boats, not cars, not houses...
But wanting, always wanting......
Your want has no definition, no shape, no outlines, no lines at all
Your want can't be fulfilled
Your want is hazy, your want is floating, your want is adrift, your want can't be caught
Your want can't be fulfilled because it c
can't be possessed.
All useless,spineless,cowardly worms
Instead of fighting, swallow the insult but never allow it to happen again.
You can understand anything but people.
Don't please. Please don't.
In short you are not happy...Pavese
Day by day its different. I feel a weariness for things....Pavese
"I like being where men are but a little bit apart.
I don't look for any body in particular, and I converse with those who know how to talk." Pavese
'I am trying to survive through the wisdom of others- they teach me how to be sad
I am with others through their words." BS
Who do you think I am?
They will call when they will. Don't worry about it.
Just got really busy
Gates of nothingness
The emptiness of nothingness
The emptiness is in the bones
I looked nothingness in the face and I said,
Who do you think I am?
GRIEF
A
NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
copyright:2013
ITS ABOUT GRIEF
'You don't know what nothingness is." Pavese
Your destiny is the fact of your being." Pavese
I WAS LOOKING FOR MYSELF
I MISPLACED MYSELF SOMEHOW." BS
Recover the past, present, unknown future through writing.
Write down your pain.
Write down your sorrow.
Write down your grief....BS
"That season is over when I wept. I was no longer looking for any one but for myself....Pavese
"Nothingness is everything.
Nothingness has so much in it.
Nothingness engulfs you.
You scatter like ashes, you disintegrate
You disappear." BS
Why do you call people?
People who don't return your calls
People who don't pick up
People who are busy texting , twittering,
Why do you behave vulnerable?
Why do you behave that you need them?
Why do you call people who behave so very important/
Why do you call people who assume a great significance about them?
Why do you call people who contribute nothing positive towards your well being?
Why do you call people who just take your time?
Why do you call people who make you sad when they don't call you back?
Why do you call people who only take from you, who take your effort to reach out
Why do you call people at all?
LONELY ARE YOU?
Not calling today
Not calling tomorrow
Not calling day after
Not calling period
With strangers in chance encounters are you in love?
Don't, they won't love you back
No one loves back
Give yourself no pain of love
Love no one
Love the monkey
Monkey is no longer to be found
All monkeys have been turned into human beings
They were better off when they were just monkeys.
Stop being vulnerable
Stop being so wanting....
Wanting, always wanting, wanting not money, not diamonds, not boats, not cars, not houses...
But wanting, always wanting......
Your want has no definition, no shape, no outlines, no lines at all
Your want can't be fulfilled
Your want is hazy, your want is floating, your want is adrift, your want can't be caught
Your want can't be fulfilled because it c
can't be possessed.
All useless,spineless,cowardly worms
Instead of fighting, swallow the insult but never allow it to happen again.
You can understand anything but people.
Don't please. Please don't.
In short you are not happy...Pavese
Day by day its different. I feel a weariness for things....Pavese
"I like being where men are but a little bit apart.
I don't look for any body in particular, and I converse with those who know how to talk." Pavese
'I am trying to survive through the wisdom of others- they teach me how to be sad
I am with others through their words." BS
Friday, September 27, 2013
UPSTATE HOLIDAY TRIP CONTINUES
A HOLIDAY UPSTATE NY
Maybe the control freak owner of the B&B could have asked his guests,"What would you like for breakfast, ladies and gentlemen?" like they do it in England.
England is the place from where this concept of B&B started.
They always ask you, "Would you like cereal lovey or scrambled eggs with bacon and sausage
and beans with some mushroom sauce?"
But the sun dried muffins this owner of Hudson establishment served were loaded with salt and were also not fully cooked....
Why would some one just serve sun dried salty Uncooked muffins for breakfast? Its beyond me...
Then the second course, peaches with the sugar loaded Yougart...I guess he is compensating for too much salt now by giving us too much sugar...
Now comes the third course...)I have never heard of a three course breakfast in a B&B where the simple plain eggs and toast is completely missing)
Now here is the third course: Un cooked butter pancakes...Tons of butter and tons of sweetest possible
blue berry sauce dripping on the half cooked pancakes and all of us kept saying,"Thank you, thank you" and he kept saying,"YOu are very welcome."
Actually I didn't say many ,"Thank you" My husband did and all other guests did and no one ate breakfast.
I wonder what they were thanking him for? The robber, who robbed them of their money and didn't
even give them a decent breakfast.
To be polite perhaps, but why?
Not to annoy the owner perhaps, but why?
Or are we all so repressed, afraid, unhappy cowards who just suffer and suffer...
My husband requested me not to open my mouth,(My family think I have a big mouth) so they always
warn me not to open my mouth.....
So I sit at boring places at boring restaurants, with boring food and behave as a deaf and dumb person
and my family smiles and say at the end, Oh! you really behaved today."
So I didn't open my mouth because I was the only ethnic, dark, minority there in this expansive
white establishment and I didn't want to upset my husband because white people always feel that the darker minority is just nothing but trouble...
But I think human beings have slave mentality and many a times they behave like martyrs under such circumstances to be just,"Polite." and not complain....
But to tell you the truth I did want to complain very much because just to annoy the boring rich
white folks because they think that I am a dark skinned Asian Bitch from hell and my husband did not want the white people to confirm that that was true.
But no matter what they were all thinking it, thinking that I was some dark skinned Asian Paki
bitch from fundo states...
I know they were thinking it because none of them said, "Good morning." to us before the lousy
breakfast. Though my husband is very white,tall, 100% American, they still never said, "Good morning." to us even when he said, "Hi, good morning."to them, they avoided us.
So my husband knew that they were racists and if I complained they will be even more racists and condescending but I wanted them to be condescending and racists towards us, especially me, openly butI wanted to respect my husband who had already spend a fortune on this lousy so called, "Victorian B&B,,,Victorian my ass.....Every one wants to call everything,"Victorian." Go home...Only thing Victorian was Queen Victoria who beat the shit all of all the South Asians for centuries and is now dead.....
Nothing else is Victorian including the breakfast, the mattress and the fucking shower with tits.
So I paid attention to my husband's request and didn't open my mouth except to say, "THank you."
"Thank you." to the owner who kept saying, "YOu are very welcome."
He was so proud of himself and his success, the owner of B&B.
"He is cracking up inside and saying to himself about the customers, "Hey, you idiots, you have
silently accepted my aggression and I have made a lot of money at your expanse, I gave you rotten beds
and rotten breakfast, a hundred percent rotten situation and got away with it....
And us...We decided that we will never go back to Hudson NY...For what any way?
To just walk up and down, up and down Warren street?
I am so lucky that I never became famous to perform UPstate NY or any other white, very white American cities and for that very reason,(No fame, no fame at all) I always stayed in NYC,
in Manhattan, in the East Village never the less.
Good Luck Sandra Bernhard ....
"And you are very welcome."
Maybe the control freak owner of the B&B could have asked his guests,"What would you like for breakfast, ladies and gentlemen?" like they do it in England.
England is the place from where this concept of B&B started.
They always ask you, "Would you like cereal lovey or scrambled eggs with bacon and sausage
and beans with some mushroom sauce?"
But the sun dried muffins this owner of Hudson establishment served were loaded with salt and were also not fully cooked....
Why would some one just serve sun dried salty Uncooked muffins for breakfast? Its beyond me...
Then the second course, peaches with the sugar loaded Yougart...I guess he is compensating for too much salt now by giving us too much sugar...
Now comes the third course...)I have never heard of a three course breakfast in a B&B where the simple plain eggs and toast is completely missing)
Now here is the third course: Un cooked butter pancakes...Tons of butter and tons of sweetest possible
blue berry sauce dripping on the half cooked pancakes and all of us kept saying,"Thank you, thank you" and he kept saying,"YOu are very welcome."
Actually I didn't say many ,"Thank you" My husband did and all other guests did and no one ate breakfast.
I wonder what they were thanking him for? The robber, who robbed them of their money and didn't
even give them a decent breakfast.
To be polite perhaps, but why?
Not to annoy the owner perhaps, but why?
Or are we all so repressed, afraid, unhappy cowards who just suffer and suffer...
My husband requested me not to open my mouth,(My family think I have a big mouth) so they always
warn me not to open my mouth.....
So I sit at boring places at boring restaurants, with boring food and behave as a deaf and dumb person
and my family smiles and say at the end, Oh! you really behaved today."
So I didn't open my mouth because I was the only ethnic, dark, minority there in this expansive
white establishment and I didn't want to upset my husband because white people always feel that the darker minority is just nothing but trouble...
But I think human beings have slave mentality and many a times they behave like martyrs under such circumstances to be just,"Polite." and not complain....
But to tell you the truth I did want to complain very much because just to annoy the boring rich
white folks because they think that I am a dark skinned Asian Bitch from hell and my husband did not want the white people to confirm that that was true.
But no matter what they were all thinking it, thinking that I was some dark skinned Asian Paki
bitch from fundo states...
I know they were thinking it because none of them said, "Good morning." to us before the lousy
breakfast. Though my husband is very white,tall, 100% American, they still never said, "Good morning." to us even when he said, "Hi, good morning."to them, they avoided us.
So my husband knew that they were racists and if I complained they will be even more racists and condescending but I wanted them to be condescending and racists towards us, especially me, openly butI wanted to respect my husband who had already spend a fortune on this lousy so called, "Victorian B&B,,,Victorian my ass.....Every one wants to call everything,"Victorian." Go home...Only thing Victorian was Queen Victoria who beat the shit all of all the South Asians for centuries and is now dead.....
Nothing else is Victorian including the breakfast, the mattress and the fucking shower with tits.
So I paid attention to my husband's request and didn't open my mouth except to say, "THank you."
"Thank you." to the owner who kept saying, "YOu are very welcome."
He was so proud of himself and his success, the owner of B&B.
"He is cracking up inside and saying to himself about the customers, "Hey, you idiots, you have
silently accepted my aggression and I have made a lot of money at your expanse, I gave you rotten beds
and rotten breakfast, a hundred percent rotten situation and got away with it....
And us...We decided that we will never go back to Hudson NY...For what any way?
To just walk up and down, up and down Warren street?
I am so lucky that I never became famous to perform UPstate NY or any other white, very white American cities and for that very reason,(No fame, no fame at all) I always stayed in NYC,
in Manhattan, in the East Village never the less.
Good Luck Sandra Bernhard ....
"And you are very welcome."
Thursday, September 19, 2013
"PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY" CONTINUES
'PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY."
AND THE MATTRESS
OH! THE MATTRESS!
You can't balance the body once you lie down.
The ass is sinking fast and faster in on the softest and shittiest mattress possible on the face of this earth.
This is the worst mattress I have ever encountered in my life.
I wondered if Columbia street was worst than the mattress or the mattress was worst than Columbia street.
And the shower...
Unbelievable.
Unbelievably Un-aesthetic.
The moment you turn the handle, spurts of water comes out of different holes like the cow's tits
spurting milk all over your body...
What a shock and an unpleasant surprise to your body....
Thats just one day in one place on an expansive holiday upstate NY....
Neither could I take a shower nor could I lie down on a mattress and the breakfast.....
Please don't even ask me or remind me about the breakfast....
And the obsessive control freak owner of the places....
and in control of the breakfast.
If one calls his place, BED AND BREAKFAST
DON'T YOU THINK THESE TWO THINGS SHOULD BE PROVIDED FOR AND TAKEN CARE OF PROPERLY?
BED AND BREAKFAST....
MY ASS...BED AND BREAKFAST....
ONLY AVAILABLE FROM 9 TO 9-30 FIRST OF ALL...
WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND GO TO PEE, THE TIME FOR THE BREAKFAST IS OVER...
AND IF YOU HURRY UP AND DON'T PEE AND RUSH DOWNSTAIR FOR BREAKFAST
YOU WILL SURELY PEE ONCE YOU SEE AND SMELL THE BREAKFAST....
The owner reciting robot style the breakfast menu of his choice, "And the first course is....
Yes, the first course is shit and the second course is shit and the main course is shit."
Thats what I would say....
And all the obedient guests, (Customers) I would say, "THe controlled paying customers)
including us would say, "THank you"
Thank you"
Because amongst the polite society one is not supposed to complain....
Polite society should provide some decent toast and eggs at least when one is paying three hundred dollars for a shitty B&B
I mean how difficult it is to decide a breakfast menue?
Egg and toast...thats it
Scrambled eggs
or fried eggs
or boiled eggs
or poached eggs
I should open a bed and breakfast place and kill people with a broken back and whatever comes with eating too many eggs....
Thats how people make money by killing people...
Thats called war....kill people legally....Have a license and kill people and make tons of money...
The obedient paying customers kept saying,"THank you"
And the control freak kept saying,"You are very welcome."
So the owner felt vindicated as if everything he provided for us, the mattress, the shower, the breakfast was beyond perfect otherwise why were we thanking him...
I asked my husband,"Why are we thanking him?"
and he said,"BE quiet." "WE are here for a few days anyway and stop your complaining."
I am considered a complainer if you haven't noticed that yet.
But you see I don't understand if the customers don't complain why would he change anything?
People behave that everything is fine because they are so cowardly and afraid....And if whoever
(some one like me) complains that person is considered alow class immigrant.
Ok, don't complain, break your back, don't take a shower, smell like a mouse and don't eat breakfast and pay and thank him...What do I care....
I just won't go Upstat NY...No I won't go even if they ask me to perform....
But they won't ask me to perform because I am not Sandra Bernhard...Sandra...Berha... She is dead man...dead...died long time ago in France.....
You know nothing...thats why Upstate NY can fool you and everything else can fool you....
But I can't be fooled in the future....
I won't go anywhere
No, No where....
I will just stay here....
Locked up in my tiny apt and think of eggs and a toast...AND
maybe make it for myself thats in case I ever step outside for shopping.....
I want eggs and toast right now....
I should go out and have breakfast in a fancy bistro in the East Village....
Do I have $50... for the eggs and toast at the Bowery hotel?
Please....
I already feel glum......
Oh! "Puffin, you are rather glum today.......
or poached eggs
or sunny side up eggs.....
AND THE MATTRESS
OH! THE MATTRESS!
You can't balance the body once you lie down.
The ass is sinking fast and faster in on the softest and shittiest mattress possible on the face of this earth.
This is the worst mattress I have ever encountered in my life.
I wondered if Columbia street was worst than the mattress or the mattress was worst than Columbia street.
And the shower...
Unbelievable.
Unbelievably Un-aesthetic.
The moment you turn the handle, spurts of water comes out of different holes like the cow's tits
spurting milk all over your body...
What a shock and an unpleasant surprise to your body....
Thats just one day in one place on an expansive holiday upstate NY....
Neither could I take a shower nor could I lie down on a mattress and the breakfast.....
Please don't even ask me or remind me about the breakfast....
And the obsessive control freak owner of the places....
and in control of the breakfast.
If one calls his place, BED AND BREAKFAST
DON'T YOU THINK THESE TWO THINGS SHOULD BE PROVIDED FOR AND TAKEN CARE OF PROPERLY?
BED AND BREAKFAST....
MY ASS...BED AND BREAKFAST....
ONLY AVAILABLE FROM 9 TO 9-30 FIRST OF ALL...
WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND GO TO PEE, THE TIME FOR THE BREAKFAST IS OVER...
AND IF YOU HURRY UP AND DON'T PEE AND RUSH DOWNSTAIR FOR BREAKFAST
YOU WILL SURELY PEE ONCE YOU SEE AND SMELL THE BREAKFAST....
The owner reciting robot style the breakfast menu of his choice, "And the first course is....
Yes, the first course is shit and the second course is shit and the main course is shit."
Thats what I would say....
And all the obedient guests, (Customers) I would say, "THe controlled paying customers)
including us would say, "THank you"
Thank you"
Because amongst the polite society one is not supposed to complain....
Polite society should provide some decent toast and eggs at least when one is paying three hundred dollars for a shitty B&B
I mean how difficult it is to decide a breakfast menue?
Egg and toast...thats it
Scrambled eggs
or fried eggs
or boiled eggs
or poached eggs
I should open a bed and breakfast place and kill people with a broken back and whatever comes with eating too many eggs....
Thats how people make money by killing people...
Thats called war....kill people legally....Have a license and kill people and make tons of money...
The obedient paying customers kept saying,"THank you"
And the control freak kept saying,"You are very welcome."
So the owner felt vindicated as if everything he provided for us, the mattress, the shower, the breakfast was beyond perfect otherwise why were we thanking him...
I asked my husband,"Why are we thanking him?"
and he said,"BE quiet." "WE are here for a few days anyway and stop your complaining."
I am considered a complainer if you haven't noticed that yet.
But you see I don't understand if the customers don't complain why would he change anything?
People behave that everything is fine because they are so cowardly and afraid....And if whoever
(some one like me) complains that person is considered alow class immigrant.
Ok, don't complain, break your back, don't take a shower, smell like a mouse and don't eat breakfast and pay and thank him...What do I care....
I just won't go Upstat NY...No I won't go even if they ask me to perform....
But they won't ask me to perform because I am not Sandra Bernhard...Sandra...Berha... She is dead man...dead...died long time ago in France.....
You know nothing...thats why Upstate NY can fool you and everything else can fool you....
But I can't be fooled in the future....
I won't go anywhere
No, No where....
I will just stay here....
Locked up in my tiny apt and think of eggs and a toast...AND
maybe make it for myself thats in case I ever step outside for shopping.....
I want eggs and toast right now....
I should go out and have breakfast in a fancy bistro in the East Village....
Do I have $50... for the eggs and toast at the Bowery hotel?
Please....
I already feel glum......
Oh! "Puffin, you are rather glum today.......
or poached eggs
or sunny side up eggs.....
Thursday, September 12, 2013
SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY CONTINUES
SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY
I am so glad that I was born so I could hate humanity and the desolation they have
created with their greed, desire and commerce.
Money, money, money is the god and was always was and will always be but nothing like todat.
Nothing but hoarding money and more money and more money....
No other concern. None.
No concern for the other, the unfortunate other.
Never a nice word or a sentence or a gesture.
Just being, "Busy" So very "Busy" in search of money and more money and coldness and more
coldness and hatred for the color of skin, the darker races, they want them to disappear from their sight, just disappear and die.
Most of the white middle class in cities away from NY hate dark skin people.
The streets where white have bought property really cheap and boarded up to renovate and develop later on when the time is right for the upsurge in real estate to sell for enormous amount of money,
those streets are desolate and depressed.
The Columbia street in Hudson Ny is one example except the huge Helsinki club is where famous people from Ny are booked to perform and Warren Street where all the antique dealers are so they can buy cheap and sell with great profit from Madison Ave and all the cafes where the dealers can stuff themselves after they have bought the antiques.
Except that everything in Hudson Ny is desolate and depressing.
All the blacks are on Columbia Street, no black is buying antiques on Warren street and eating the expensive bistros.
'Blacks are not allowed on warren St ..When they come they are being sneered upon.
The famous people like Sandra Bernhard's posters were outside the Helsinki club.
After being on Columbia St and seeing the demise of black shacks in the shadow of white Warren St I for the first time was utterly grateful for not being famous because if I were I would be performing at Helsinki club and will have to see the difference between the rich and poor within a block...When I say poor, I mean poor blacks....
I would be so sad that my act would have no humor in it and the white people from Warren street would boo me off the stage because how dare I not entertain white people while I am dark skinned person.
The reason they put me on, if they would do that at all is for their entertainment only so I can make
fun of my skin color, my accent, my culture and my religion especially when that religion is the
target of the day.....
And the bed and breakfast place, pricey as hell and please don't even get me started...the mattress so soft, so soft as if you have fallen into an ocean of jelly and would never be able to come up again till
the day you die......
I broke my back and ran back to good almighty NYC and kept having the feeling of being in a sinking drowning ship from that awful mattress and the most awful of owner, a programmed robot,
a total control freak, totally mental and neurotic.
For days after that mattress experience I felt I was in a Hollow grave, going down deeper and deeper and deeper and my ass sinking deeper and deeper with the memory of the shittiest possible mattress I have ever encountered and the expense of more money, hundreds of dollars for accupunture to fix my back.
Jesus, give me abreak from Hudson NY and from the hell called The B&B and the rich people hustling to make more and more and more money till they drop dead.
It was called, A TRIP UPSTATE
WHERE UPSTATE/
HUDSON NY........
I am so glad that I was born so I could hate humanity and the desolation they have
created with their greed, desire and commerce.
Money, money, money is the god and was always was and will always be but nothing like todat.
Nothing but hoarding money and more money and more money....
No other concern. None.
No concern for the other, the unfortunate other.
Never a nice word or a sentence or a gesture.
Just being, "Busy" So very "Busy" in search of money and more money and coldness and more
coldness and hatred for the color of skin, the darker races, they want them to disappear from their sight, just disappear and die.
Most of the white middle class in cities away from NY hate dark skin people.
The streets where white have bought property really cheap and boarded up to renovate and develop later on when the time is right for the upsurge in real estate to sell for enormous amount of money,
those streets are desolate and depressed.
The Columbia street in Hudson Ny is one example except the huge Helsinki club is where famous people from Ny are booked to perform and Warren Street where all the antique dealers are so they can buy cheap and sell with great profit from Madison Ave and all the cafes where the dealers can stuff themselves after they have bought the antiques.
Except that everything in Hudson Ny is desolate and depressing.
All the blacks are on Columbia Street, no black is buying antiques on Warren street and eating the expensive bistros.
'Blacks are not allowed on warren St ..When they come they are being sneered upon.
The famous people like Sandra Bernhard's posters were outside the Helsinki club.
After being on Columbia St and seeing the demise of black shacks in the shadow of white Warren St I for the first time was utterly grateful for not being famous because if I were I would be performing at Helsinki club and will have to see the difference between the rich and poor within a block...When I say poor, I mean poor blacks....
I would be so sad that my act would have no humor in it and the white people from Warren street would boo me off the stage because how dare I not entertain white people while I am dark skinned person.
The reason they put me on, if they would do that at all is for their entertainment only so I can make
fun of my skin color, my accent, my culture and my religion especially when that religion is the
target of the day.....
And the bed and breakfast place, pricey as hell and please don't even get me started...the mattress so soft, so soft as if you have fallen into an ocean of jelly and would never be able to come up again till
the day you die......
I broke my back and ran back to good almighty NYC and kept having the feeling of being in a sinking drowning ship from that awful mattress and the most awful of owner, a programmed robot,
a total control freak, totally mental and neurotic.
For days after that mattress experience I felt I was in a Hollow grave, going down deeper and deeper and deeper and my ass sinking deeper and deeper with the memory of the shittiest possible mattress I have ever encountered and the expense of more money, hundreds of dollars for accupunture to fix my back.
Jesus, give me abreak from Hudson NY and from the hell called The B&B and the rich people hustling to make more and more and more money till they drop dead.
It was called, A TRIP UPSTATE
WHERE UPSTATE/
HUDSON NY........
Wednesday, September 11, 2013
ON WRITING
WRITING:
WRITE: ESSAYS
DIARIES
LETTERS
WRITE ABOUT: YOUR FEELINGS
THOUGHTS
YOUR LIFE
YOUR WORK
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
THIS IS WHAT SOME GREAT WRITER SAID AND I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT:
I WANT TO BE RESERVE
AUSTERE
ENIGMATIC
NEVER BARING SOUL TO ANY ONE."
OPENNESS?
"BUT THAT OPENNESS HAD ITS LIMITS."
HER PLACE:
Her place is too filthy for my dignity
I want to not remain with it.
How long are you going to sustain this shit?
'She was so dreadful that we stopped quarreling and just repined."
"Prowess of his race"
"Boasting of all things American."
'Target of certain pranks."
'YOU ARE VERY WELCOME."
MEANS......
"FUCK YOU VERY MUCH."
A
PERFORMANCE PIECE
BY
BINA SHARIF
COPYRIGHT: BINASHARIF 2013
CONTINUES.................
WRITE: ESSAYS
DIARIES
LETTERS
WRITE ABOUT: YOUR FEELINGS
THOUGHTS
YOUR LIFE
YOUR WORK
WHAT DO YOU WANT TO BE?
THIS IS WHAT SOME GREAT WRITER SAID AND I WANT TO BE LIKE THAT:
I WANT TO BE RESERVE
AUSTERE
ENIGMATIC
NEVER BARING SOUL TO ANY ONE."
OPENNESS?
"BUT THAT OPENNESS HAD ITS LIMITS."
HER PLACE:
Her place is too filthy for my dignity
I want to not remain with it.
How long are you going to sustain this shit?
'She was so dreadful that we stopped quarreling and just repined."
"Prowess of his race"
"Boasting of all things American."
'Target of certain pranks."
'YOU ARE VERY WELCOME."
MEANS......
"FUCK YOU VERY MUCH."
A
PERFORMANCE PIECE
BY
BINA SHARIF
COPYRIGHT: BINASHARIF 2013
CONTINUES.................
Saturday, September 7, 2013
"SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY"
SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TO DAY CONTINUES
"ILLUSORY LOVE."
I on my own discovered,
Kafka
Laurence Durrell
Hardy
Dickens
Shakespeare
Shelly
Keats
Bertarnd Russel
D.H. Laurence
And I met Tennessee Williams
and I miss him...............
Now I am at the brink of hysteria knowing nothing at all....
......................................
Get rid of H
Get rid of H
Get rid of all of them
Get rid please....
"For heaven's sake get rid of rubbish.
It smells
It has always smelled
But now it stinks.
.................................
"People need to feel they belong."
A poem?
Perhaps-
Maybe?
Someday-
Perhaps the poem will be written?
..........................
"We are rather glum today"
Missile strike on Syria
.........................
"If you are ever worried about the proper way
to go about it, we will talk it all through Un till
you know exactly what's what" Annonymous
..........................................
A PLACE SO TERRIBLE
Such a horrible place
Such a horrible life
How terrible the place I can't tell you
Can't describe it
You can't imagine it
You won't be able to imagine
Its amazing how awful terrible
There is no word to describe the place how
terrible it is.....
.............................
GOING TO OR NOT GOING TO?
Is he going to?
Or is he not going to?
I think he is going to...
But when?
That I don't know
I think he is not going to
Maybe not
Maybe he is going to
But when?
That I don't know.........
...................
Second half of the bar
Top of the dresser
Under the vanity
Under the sink
Armoir
Uf---Uf---Uf---UfUFIFUFUFUFUFUFUF
.............................................
SAD
Its amazing how sad they have made me
Its amazing, how much hold they have on my emotions,
my well being, my happiness,my laughter,my sense of love,
my sense of joy,
my sense of anticipation of hyappiness,
amazing....
Can't seem to shake off the effect of sadness of that loss,
Loss of a sense of laughter,
The deep gut wrenching full laughter
S turned out to be a tough non feeling, non caring B
And the other one!
Another deep-deep=deep disappointment
F them...
You must learn to be happy on your own
Do the things which made you enjoy your life without any one
Please don't be a martyr...........
No victim hood is allowed
Why must you pay for other to enjoy your life?
Unbelievable and pathetic
They are not your relatives
They are not your blood
They are not your children
They can never be yours
What is yours thats the only possession you have
Enjoy your own possessions, your own talent, your own blessings
They are a very few but nevertheless they are yours
Enjoy them
Don't be sad
Don't be sad
Don't be sad
People turn out to be cruel eventually
Because thats the human nature
Cruelty
Be sad if you want
on your own
By yourself
By your own reasons
But not because they make you sad
No, no one can control your emotions
But you
You and you
Only
You and you
Only
You and you only
Oh!F the whole thing already
Its been so long
So long
So long
So long
Enjoy life for yourself
Treat yourself
Yes, thats what you should do
I notice that you never treat your self
And why not?
And why not?
And why not?
Do for yourself what you wanted to do for them
Its unbelievable you only felt good if you could do something nice
for them and only then you could do something little nice thing for yourself through them?
Un believable and pathetic
You don't want to be ppathetic do you?
No you don't...
Not a very good word...
Isn't that interseting and disturbing that you only could feel good through them?
Through them, doing great things for them, making them loved and wanted
and what about you
Why can't you do things so you can feel wanted by you
So you can feel loved by you?
So sad
So sad
So sad
So sad
The inability to make yourself happy
To spend on yourself
To do things for yourself
Guilt is it?
Or you don't deserev anything good?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Ask that question a million time
Stop chasing rainbows
There never was a rainbow
They never cared
No one cared for you
Say it
Say it
Say it
Say it
Say it
Say it a million time
No one cared for you
Thats why you have to care for your self
ONly for yourself
You have to care only for yourself
They have others to take care of them
They have others to care for them
They have others ....
You have you
You need to take care of you.
There are no rainbows
Stop chasing the rainbows
There are no rainbows
You are the rainbow
Chase your self
YES, YOU ARE THE RAINBOW
CHASE YOURSELF
Spend money on you
Spend your love on you
Spend your energy on you
Spend your time on you
Spend your emotions on you
Travel with yourself
Enjoy yourself
Your company
is fantastic
Love your self
Love everything you do
Your work
Yes, your work
LOVE YOUR WORK
YOUR WORK DESERVE YOUR ATTENTION, YOUR CARE, YOUR TIME,
YOUR AFFECTION, YOUR TENDERNESS, YOUR BEAUTY, YOUR POETRY,
YOUR EXPERIENCE, YOUR KINDNESS, YOUR POETRY....
BE SAD IF YOU WANT WITHIN YOUR WORK
THATS ALLOWED
BE VERY SAD, FEEL ALL THE SADNESS, LONELINESS, LOSS, ABANDONMENT,
TRAGEDY, INJUSTICE, CRUELTY, DEATH, PAST, CHILDHOOD, REMORSE, REGRET
WITHIN YOUR WORK, DEEP INSIDE YOUR WORK....SEE NOW YOU HAVE THE PERMISSION OF THE WORK TO FEEL ALL EMOTIONS FULLY INCLUDING SADNESS,
TREMENDOUS SADNESS....................
"ILLUSORY LOVE."
I on my own discovered,
Kafka
Laurence Durrell
Hardy
Dickens
Shakespeare
Shelly
Keats
Bertarnd Russel
D.H. Laurence
And I met Tennessee Williams
and I miss him...............
Now I am at the brink of hysteria knowing nothing at all....
......................................
Get rid of H
Get rid of H
Get rid of all of them
Get rid please....
"For heaven's sake get rid of rubbish.
It smells
It has always smelled
But now it stinks.
.................................
"People need to feel they belong."
A poem?
Perhaps-
Maybe?
Someday-
Perhaps the poem will be written?
..........................
"We are rather glum today"
Missile strike on Syria
.........................
"If you are ever worried about the proper way
to go about it, we will talk it all through Un till
you know exactly what's what" Annonymous
..........................................
A PLACE SO TERRIBLE
Such a horrible place
Such a horrible life
How terrible the place I can't tell you
Can't describe it
You can't imagine it
You won't be able to imagine
Its amazing how awful terrible
There is no word to describe the place how
terrible it is.....
.............................
GOING TO OR NOT GOING TO?
Is he going to?
Or is he not going to?
I think he is going to...
But when?
That I don't know
I think he is not going to
Maybe not
Maybe he is going to
But when?
That I don't know.........
...................
Second half of the bar
Top of the dresser
Under the vanity
Under the sink
Armoir
Uf---Uf---Uf---UfUFIFUFUFUFUFUFUF
.............................................
SAD
Its amazing how sad they have made me
Its amazing, how much hold they have on my emotions,
my well being, my happiness,my laughter,my sense of love,
my sense of joy,
my sense of anticipation of hyappiness,
amazing....
Can't seem to shake off the effect of sadness of that loss,
Loss of a sense of laughter,
The deep gut wrenching full laughter
S turned out to be a tough non feeling, non caring B
And the other one!
Another deep-deep=deep disappointment
F them...
You must learn to be happy on your own
Do the things which made you enjoy your life without any one
Please don't be a martyr...........
No victim hood is allowed
Why must you pay for other to enjoy your life?
Unbelievable and pathetic
They are not your relatives
They are not your blood
They are not your children
They can never be yours
What is yours thats the only possession you have
Enjoy your own possessions, your own talent, your own blessings
They are a very few but nevertheless they are yours
Enjoy them
Don't be sad
Don't be sad
Don't be sad
People turn out to be cruel eventually
Because thats the human nature
Cruelty
Be sad if you want
on your own
By yourself
By your own reasons
But not because they make you sad
No, no one can control your emotions
But you
You and you
Only
You and you
Only
You and you only
Oh!F the whole thing already
Its been so long
So long
So long
So long
Enjoy life for yourself
Treat yourself
Yes, thats what you should do
I notice that you never treat your self
And why not?
And why not?
And why not?
Do for yourself what you wanted to do for them
Its unbelievable you only felt good if you could do something nice
for them and only then you could do something little nice thing for yourself through them?
Un believable and pathetic
You don't want to be ppathetic do you?
No you don't...
Not a very good word...
Isn't that interseting and disturbing that you only could feel good through them?
Through them, doing great things for them, making them loved and wanted
and what about you
Why can't you do things so you can feel wanted by you
So you can feel loved by you?
So sad
So sad
So sad
So sad
The inability to make yourself happy
To spend on yourself
To do things for yourself
Guilt is it?
Or you don't deserev anything good?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Why?
Ask that question a million time
Stop chasing rainbows
There never was a rainbow
They never cared
No one cared for you
Say it
Say it
Say it
Say it
Say it
Say it a million time
No one cared for you
Thats why you have to care for your self
ONly for yourself
You have to care only for yourself
They have others to take care of them
They have others to care for them
They have others ....
You have you
You need to take care of you.
There are no rainbows
Stop chasing the rainbows
There are no rainbows
You are the rainbow
Chase your self
YES, YOU ARE THE RAINBOW
CHASE YOURSELF
Spend money on you
Spend your love on you
Spend your energy on you
Spend your time on you
Spend your emotions on you
Travel with yourself
Enjoy yourself
Your company
is fantastic
Love your self
Love everything you do
Your work
Yes, your work
LOVE YOUR WORK
YOUR WORK DESERVE YOUR ATTENTION, YOUR CARE, YOUR TIME,
YOUR AFFECTION, YOUR TENDERNESS, YOUR BEAUTY, YOUR POETRY,
YOUR EXPERIENCE, YOUR KINDNESS, YOUR POETRY....
BE SAD IF YOU WANT WITHIN YOUR WORK
THATS ALLOWED
BE VERY SAD, FEEL ALL THE SADNESS, LONELINESS, LOSS, ABANDONMENT,
TRAGEDY, INJUSTICE, CRUELTY, DEATH, PAST, CHILDHOOD, REMORSE, REGRET
WITHIN YOUR WORK, DEEP INSIDE YOUR WORK....SEE NOW YOU HAVE THE PERMISSION OF THE WORK TO FEEL ALL EMOTIONS FULLY INCLUDING SADNESS,
TREMENDOUS SADNESS....................
Friday, September 6, 2013
"BOUDOIR" A NEW PLAY BY BINA SHARIF
'BOUDOIR"
BY
BINA SHARIF
CHARCTERS:
PROSTITUTES
CUSTOMERS
IN A BOUDOIR
ELEMENTS OF THE PLAY
CRIME
ALCOHOL
LECHERY
MURDER
(ALL THE POLITICIANS, HEDGE FUND PEOPLE,, SENATORS, JUDGES, ARMY PEOPLE,
REPORTERS, (ALL KINDS OF SUPER FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE THE CUSTOMERS)
TIME:
PRESENT
PLACE:
THE MIGTY NEW YORK
HAMPTONS
PARK AVENUE
SOHO
EVEN THE MULTI MILLION DOLLAR HIGH RISES IN THE NEW EAST VILLAGE
THE MURDE WILL BE OF EACH OTHER, (THE CUSTOMERS WHO ARE KINKY AND LIKE TO SUFFOCATE WHILE HAVING SEX)
SOME CUSTOMERS WILL KILL EACH OTHER AND SOME WILL KILL THEMSELVES
ANY ONE WHO WILL SURVIVE WILL BE THE PROSTITUTES IN THEIR BLOODY BAUDOIR.
THE PLAY WILL START AT THE COURT.
THE PRESIDING JUDGE IS A SURVIVOR AND NO ONE KNOWS IT AND THE REST OF THE PEOPLE ON TRIAL ARE THE PROSTITUTES AND THE BAUDOIR IN ITSELF
IS ON TRIAL.
BY
BINA SHARIF
CHARCTERS:
PROSTITUTES
CUSTOMERS
IN A BOUDOIR
ELEMENTS OF THE PLAY
CRIME
ALCOHOL
LECHERY
MURDER
(ALL THE POLITICIANS, HEDGE FUND PEOPLE,, SENATORS, JUDGES, ARMY PEOPLE,
REPORTERS, (ALL KINDS OF SUPER FAMOUS PEOPLE ARE THE CUSTOMERS)
TIME:
PRESENT
PLACE:
THE MIGTY NEW YORK
HAMPTONS
PARK AVENUE
SOHO
EVEN THE MULTI MILLION DOLLAR HIGH RISES IN THE NEW EAST VILLAGE
THE MURDE WILL BE OF EACH OTHER, (THE CUSTOMERS WHO ARE KINKY AND LIKE TO SUFFOCATE WHILE HAVING SEX)
SOME CUSTOMERS WILL KILL EACH OTHER AND SOME WILL KILL THEMSELVES
ANY ONE WHO WILL SURVIVE WILL BE THE PROSTITUTES IN THEIR BLOODY BAUDOIR.
THE PLAY WILL START AT THE COURT.
THE PRESIDING JUDGE IS A SURVIVOR AND NO ONE KNOWS IT AND THE REST OF THE PEOPLE ON TRIAL ARE THE PROSTITUTES AND THE BAUDOIR IN ITSELF
IS ON TRIAL.
REJUVINATION..HEALING THE SPIRIT...HEALING THE INJURED TISSUES
"SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY." Kazuo Ishigura
'A tigress on the brink of hysteria" by Alexander Gilmore
Birds on the wing...An ecstatic beacon of freedom
'poetic plus full of juicy dirt
Crumbling plaster
Ancient almond treee
Rest under the ancient almond tree to rest your injured tissues
Rest and rest and sleep and sleep and think of no one and talk to no one
When the night time comes...Come back to your bed, turn all lights off
and rest. Rest and rest and think of no one and talk to no one
and sleep and sleep and sleep to heal your injured tissues of the mind , the body and the soul.
Discipline is necessary...
Proper sleep
proper food
proper rest
proper conversation or no conversation for that matter of fact...I say, "NO conversation with any one."
I say, "NO one deserves your wit, your wisdom, your insight, your affection, your advice, your love,
your company."
No one, "I say"
Just rest and rest and rest and sleep and sleep and sleep
and think of no one and talk to no one.
Just can't love any one
Just can't think of any one
Just can't spend emotions with any one
Can't spend energy with any one
Can't spend time with any one
Only with yourself and your injured tissues...
It will take a long time to heal the trauma to the brain, to the body, to the soul
Just rest and rest and rest
Just sleep and sleep and sleep
Think of no one
Talk to no one
Turn the phonr off
Turn the light off
And rest
Just rest
To rejuvenate the injured tissues....
In the afternoon lie down under the ancient almond tree and rest
and if you can't find the ancient almond tree anywhere, still lie down under
the ancient almond tree and rest.....
Be stubborn in your search of the ancient almond tree, don't give up so fast....
Don't give up
Just rest and rest and rest
and sleep and sleep and sleep
and think of no one
and talk to no one
Turn the light off and just rest
The ancient almond tree you will find
after you have rested and slept
Yes, you will find the ancient almond tree after.....
I promise.....
'A tigress on the brink of hysteria" by Alexander Gilmore
Birds on the wing...An ecstatic beacon of freedom
'poetic plus full of juicy dirt
Crumbling plaster
Ancient almond treee
Rest under the ancient almond tree to rest your injured tissues
Rest and rest and sleep and sleep and think of no one and talk to no one
When the night time comes...Come back to your bed, turn all lights off
and rest. Rest and rest and think of no one and talk to no one
and sleep and sleep and sleep to heal your injured tissues of the mind , the body and the soul.
Discipline is necessary...
Proper sleep
proper food
proper rest
proper conversation or no conversation for that matter of fact...I say, "NO conversation with any one."
I say, "NO one deserves your wit, your wisdom, your insight, your affection, your advice, your love,
your company."
No one, "I say"
Just rest and rest and rest and sleep and sleep and sleep
and think of no one and talk to no one.
Just can't love any one
Just can't think of any one
Just can't spend emotions with any one
Can't spend energy with any one
Can't spend time with any one
Only with yourself and your injured tissues...
It will take a long time to heal the trauma to the brain, to the body, to the soul
Just rest and rest and rest
Just sleep and sleep and sleep
Think of no one
Talk to no one
Turn the phonr off
Turn the light off
And rest
Just rest
To rejuvenate the injured tissues....
In the afternoon lie down under the ancient almond tree and rest
and if you can't find the ancient almond tree anywhere, still lie down under
the ancient almond tree and rest.....
Be stubborn in your search of the ancient almond tree, don't give up so fast....
Don't give up
Just rest and rest and rest
and sleep and sleep and sleep
and think of no one
and talk to no one
Turn the light off and just rest
The ancient almond tree you will find
after you have rested and slept
Yes, you will find the ancient almond tree after.....
I promise.....
Friday, July 26, 2013
WOMEN OF A CERTAIN RELIGION OR MUSLIM WOMEN: A PLAY IN MONOLOGUES
HUMMA:
(Talking to herself, trying to convince herself that her solitude has become dangerous)
Either commit suicide or go to an institution for the insane.
Because there is no solution otherwise to change your circumstances.
Its time for you to admit it that now you are completely isolated and alone
in all your endeavors.
The dysfunction in your genes and DNA and the same dysfunctional DNA
of your remaining family and your religion is not going to change.
It can not change. Its a disease. Disease needs treatment and everyone has
to agree to the kind of treatment.
The problem and the dysfunction of the family and Humma's religion is
the disagreement on all issues and total non communication about all subjecys.
So yes, there is no one for you to laugh with....
Yes, you are all alone....
Yes, you have no support...
No help....
No understanding of family....
No understanding of community....
No understanding of religion...
No, No. Understanding at all.....
No nothing......
Now what's your decision?
Suicide or institution?
Or do you have a third option?
You can forget about every one and everything
and enjoy your loneliness and Isolation....
People who are determined can enjoy anything.
Do things you like...
Alone, of course
With who else?
Stop thinking about three things
Yourself
Your family
Your religion
And you will be perfectly happy
You will completely forget about mental asylum
or suicide....
You will just laugh
And laugh by yourself
People will think you are mad and will leave you alone....
That would be much better...
To laugh and to be alone than to be with miserably
petty, mean, vindictive, selfish, cruel, liers, manipulative, insincere people....
Don't you think people like that exist?
You must be aware of that, you especially hang out with them.....
Don't you?
And isn't that also the reason of you being suicidal?
Religion is not the only thing.....its people too....
Much more venomous......
Occupy your evenings
The most important thing for you....
The isolation of the evening is murderous for your psyche
Occupy your evenings.......
The place you live in offers tons of things for the evening
Opera....
Theater....
Music...
Beg or borrow, go to these things....
Begging is better than going insane....
Steal even but go to the opera.....
For three hours you will think of some one else's problems and passions
It will give you a break from your self......
Take a break from yourself
And everything which reminds you of yourself......
Total, complete break for couple of hours every evening from your self
and your troubled thoughts will retrieve your well being......
Call these things your evening job.....
Opera, theater, music, museum.......
That's your evening job....
"I am not available." " Would you not go to your work?"
I mean any body, "Would you not show up for your work?"
Impossible....
You will be fired....
'Go to the theater....six days a week, one night to the cinema.....
Then let me know if you still want to commit suicide or get
admitted in mental institution?"
I am sure you will run far, far away from it....
and if you still are not healed then you are totally insane..........................
GREATEST DISAPPOINTMENT
"SOMETIMES WHEN I REALLY GIVE OF MYSELF
TO SOMEBODY AND THEY DON'T RESPECT THAT.
THAT'S MY LIFE FORCE,MY ENERGY---DON'T TRASH IT." Stephen Jones
...........................
"DUST YOURSELF DOWN AND START ALL OVER AGAIN." Stephen Jones
TO SOMEBODY AND THEY DON'T RESPECT THAT.
THAT'S MY LIFE FORCE,MY ENERGY---DON'T TRASH IT." Stephen Jones
...........................
"DUST YOURSELF DOWN AND START ALL OVER AGAIN." Stephen Jones
Wednesday, July 24, 2013
WHO WROTE WUTHERING HEIGHTS?
WHO WROTE WUTHERING HEIGHTS?
A: Emily Bronte wrote "Wuthering Heights" and Charlotte Bronte
wrote Jane Eyre
B: No, its the opposite, Charlotte wrote, Wuthering Heights and Emily
wrote Jane Eyre...
A: You want to bet
B: Yes.
A: How much?
B: One hundred dollars
A: You just lost one hundred dollars
B: No, I gained $100
A: You are wrong and you always insist on being right
B: I AM RIGHT
A: Thats where your problem lies. You always want to be right
B: But I am right
A: YAH..YAH..YAH. I DON'T READ SO MUCH FOR NOTHING-YOU IMBECILE.
A: Emily Bronte wrote "Wuthering Heights" and Charlotte Bronte
wrote Jane Eyre
B: No, its the opposite, Charlotte wrote, Wuthering Heights and Emily
wrote Jane Eyre...
A: You want to bet
B: Yes.
A: How much?
B: One hundred dollars
A: You just lost one hundred dollars
B: No, I gained $100
A: You are wrong and you always insist on being right
B: I AM RIGHT
A: Thats where your problem lies. You always want to be right
B: But I am right
A: YAH..YAH..YAH. I DON'T READ SO MUCH FOR NOTHING-YOU IMBECILE.
PROPER WAY OF LIFE
PROPER WAY OF LIFE
A SHORT PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
Copyright:binasharif 2013
M: She is with a tall man
N: And?
M: And what?
N: She is with a tall man and what?
M: Nothing else-she is just with a tall man-
N: Not a very interesting story
M: Who said, its a story?
N: I thought you were a story teller
M: You can think of whatever you want....
N: SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
M: Point of what?
N: Point of telling me that,"She is with a tall man."
M: No particular point...just a conversation
N: Thats not a conversation. Thats a statement
M: Alright, thats a statement
N: What's the point of making statements?
M: Just a way of talking
N: Who is talking?
M: I was talking
N: You weren't talking to me
M: i WASN'T...
N: SO WHY SAY,"JUST A WAY OF TALKING?"
M: Just to do something, one has to say something
N: Why say something when one has nothing to say
M: I had something to say
N: Like what?
M: I said,"She is with a tall man."
N: Yes, but information is incomplete
M: Who's information?
N: Your's-
M: I wasn't informing any one-
N: Then why call it information?
M: Just a certain way of talking, keeping busy...
N: That's not a great way of keeping busy
M: What is?
N: Doing something
M: Saying something is doing something
N: Do you know the English language?
M: What do you mean?
N: Do you have any idea of the English language?
M: As much as you do, I guess....
N: No you don't...
M: What is it that I don't know?
N: The English language
M: Ok, teach me
N: "Saying" means "Saying" and ,"Doing" means, "Doing"
M: My sayings are my doings...
N: Thats nonsense
M: NO, ITS VERY IMPORTANT. WHAT EVER YOU SAY,THATS WHO YOU ARE
AND WHO EVER YOU ARE THATS WHAT YOU DO.
N: You are crazy
M: Better to be crazy than so fucking critical. Who are you any way? Get off my back.
You are overwhelmingly negative about whatever I say or do. You always are.
every moment of my life, you are criticl for no reason, get off my back, you monkey.
irritating me with your negativity, killing my impulses all day long....
get off my back otherwise I will stab you, I am so sick of you that I can't breath...
You say one more fucking thing and you are dead...dead...dead. Now shut the
fuck up. Once and for all, shut up, shut up, shut up.
I am sick of your rant and your scratching and clawing my back....
scratching my neck with your venomous claws. You open your mouth
one more time you are dead, and it will be stabbing by a knife...(he lifts up his knife)
I have a knife my sharp kitchen knife, (Shows him the knife) look, how long and
how sharp my knife is.... You dare open your mouth one more time and you are a dead man.
(Raises his knife to stab his own back)
N: Don't be stupid. Don't commit suicide, Just learn proper way of life. Learn the
the English language. Say and do proper things to live properly. I am not at your back.
I am not your monkey. That monkey doesn't exist. I don't exist at least not the monkey
of your back.. You are your own monkey, you want to kill your own monkey, go ahead...
M: (LIFTS UP THE KNIFE AND PIERCES HIS OWN SPINE)
END OF PLAY
A SHORT PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF
Copyright:binasharif 2013
M: She is with a tall man
N: And?
M: And what?
N: She is with a tall man and what?
M: Nothing else-she is just with a tall man-
N: Not a very interesting story
M: Who said, its a story?
N: I thought you were a story teller
M: You can think of whatever you want....
N: SO WHAT'S THE POINT?
M: Point of what?
N: Point of telling me that,"She is with a tall man."
M: No particular point...just a conversation
N: Thats not a conversation. Thats a statement
M: Alright, thats a statement
N: What's the point of making statements?
M: Just a way of talking
N: Who is talking?
M: I was talking
N: You weren't talking to me
M: i WASN'T...
N: SO WHY SAY,"JUST A WAY OF TALKING?"
M: Just to do something, one has to say something
N: Why say something when one has nothing to say
M: I had something to say
N: Like what?
M: I said,"She is with a tall man."
N: Yes, but information is incomplete
M: Who's information?
N: Your's-
M: I wasn't informing any one-
N: Then why call it information?
M: Just a certain way of talking, keeping busy...
N: That's not a great way of keeping busy
M: What is?
N: Doing something
M: Saying something is doing something
N: Do you know the English language?
M: What do you mean?
N: Do you have any idea of the English language?
M: As much as you do, I guess....
N: No you don't...
M: What is it that I don't know?
N: The English language
M: Ok, teach me
N: "Saying" means "Saying" and ,"Doing" means, "Doing"
M: My sayings are my doings...
N: Thats nonsense
M: NO, ITS VERY IMPORTANT. WHAT EVER YOU SAY,THATS WHO YOU ARE
AND WHO EVER YOU ARE THATS WHAT YOU DO.
N: You are crazy
M: Better to be crazy than so fucking critical. Who are you any way? Get off my back.
You are overwhelmingly negative about whatever I say or do. You always are.
every moment of my life, you are criticl for no reason, get off my back, you monkey.
irritating me with your negativity, killing my impulses all day long....
get off my back otherwise I will stab you, I am so sick of you that I can't breath...
You say one more fucking thing and you are dead...dead...dead. Now shut the
fuck up. Once and for all, shut up, shut up, shut up.
I am sick of your rant and your scratching and clawing my back....
scratching my neck with your venomous claws. You open your mouth
one more time you are dead, and it will be stabbing by a knife...(he lifts up his knife)
I have a knife my sharp kitchen knife, (Shows him the knife) look, how long and
how sharp my knife is.... You dare open your mouth one more time and you are a dead man.
(Raises his knife to stab his own back)
N: Don't be stupid. Don't commit suicide, Just learn proper way of life. Learn the
the English language. Say and do proper things to live properly. I am not at your back.
I am not your monkey. That monkey doesn't exist. I don't exist at least not the monkey
of your back.. You are your own monkey, you want to kill your own monkey, go ahead...
M: (LIFTS UP THE KNIFE AND PIERCES HIS OWN SPINE)
END OF PLAY
Tuesday, July 23, 2013
MANHATTAN SPLEEN CONTINUES
MANHATTAN SPLEEN
Why must you discontinue what you do love?
What do you love?
I asked you, what do you love?
What do I love?
Yes, what do you love?
.............
It will come
when it will come
why are you waiting for it?
Death I mean.
...............
'Don't do what you say,"You shouldn't do."
'Do what you say,"YOu should do."
'I said,"Don't."
Don't you get it?
No, you don't get it.
I am so mad at you, so mad at you
i COULD KILL YOU.
,,,,,,,,,,,,
A: YOU DON'T KNOW
B: THAT'S THE PROBLEM
A: YOU DON'T KNOW
B: UNBELIEVABLE
A: YES, ITS UNBELIEVABLE
B: YOU DON'T KNOW
A: NEITHER DO YOU
B: WASTE
A: A WASTE OF LIFE
B: EVERY ONE'S?
A: NO.
B: YOUR'S?
A: YOUR'S AND MINE
B: WHY MINE?
A: MINE AND YOUR'S
B: BUT WHY MINE?
A: I CAN ASK THE SAME QUESTION
B: THEN ASK
A:NO POINT
B: NO POINT?
A: YES, NO POINT ASKING
B: ASK ANY WAY
A: I KNOW THE ANSWER, NO POINT ASKING
B: ASK ANY WAY
A: I DON'T WASTE TIME ASKING WHAT I ALREADY KNOW
B: WHAT DO YOU ALREADY KNOW
A: ITS A WASTE
B: WHAT'S A WASTE?
A: LIFE
B:YOURS?
A: YOURS AND MINE
B: NOT MINE, YOUR'S ONLY. I PLAY. I PLAY AT LIFE
A: LIFE DOESN'T LET ANY ONE PLAY WITH IT, LIFE PLAYS WITH US
B: I LIKE THAT. "LIFE PLAYS WITH US." I LIKE THAT
A: LIFE LIKES IT TOO
B: PLAYING WITH US?
A: YES
B: I DON'T MIND. I LIKE PLAYFUL LIFE
A: LIFE IS LAUGHING AT YOU
B: I LIKE THAT ALSO. I LIKE THINGS WHICH LAUGH
A: LIFE IS NOT A THING
B: WHAT IS LIFE THEN?
A: LIFE IS A DANGEROUS OBJECT
B: YOU BEHAVE AS IF ITS A KNIFE
A: YES AND ITS A SHARP KNIFE, IT WILL KILL YOU WHENEVER IT WANTS
B: THEN IT WILL GO TO JAIL
A; NOT EVERY ONE GOES TO JAIL
B: IF YOU KILL YOU GO TO JAIL
A: NOT IN OUR COUNTRY, ZIMMERMAN IS FREE.........WHEN YOU KILL
AN INNOCENT YOU DON'T GO TO JAIL BUT WHEN LIFE KILLS YOU
THEN YOU ARE CERTAINLY GUILTY. GUILTY OF NOT LIVING A GOOD LIFE.
GUILTY OF WASTING LIFE. YOU DIE FOR WASTING LIFE. YOU ARE GUILTY OF
OF THAT.
B: AND ZIMMERMAN?
A: HE IS NOT GUILTY. HE JUST WASTED SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE, NOT HIS OWN...
NOT HIS OWN........
................................
"And what is this?"
"Just a drawing
"Drawing of what? an animal? a human? a fish? a bird. a cockroach? a fly? a rat? an insect, a mouth?
Who knows...and why do you always ask me condescending questions? who are you?
who the hell are you?"
...................
GROW UP
Don't call her
Don't call the other one also
Don't call any one....
What's wrong with you?
No, really tell me, what's wrong with you?
No, really tell me...what the f**k is wrong with you?
GROW UP............
............................
Good start
Bad end
So simplistic...............
...................
FAT, FAT, FAT
FAT ENOUGH?
"YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD TODAY"
"ONLY TODAY?"
"SHAME ON YOU."
"DETERIORATING EVERY YEAR."
.............................
BAD MOOD
E: Write a play
F: Really?
E: yes, write a play
F: You write a play
E: I am not a playwright
F: Neither am I
E: What are you then?
F: I don't know
E: Who knows then?
F: You do-you know. You know everything. Now tell me who am I?
E: Why would I know. Its not my fucking life, Its yours
F: Then leave me the fuck alone
E: Oh! you are in a bad mood...Pretty bad mood...Pretty, Pretty bad mood......
THE END
...........................
Why must you discontinue what you do love?
What do you love?
I asked you, what do you love?
What do I love?
Yes, what do you love?
.............
It will come
when it will come
why are you waiting for it?
Death I mean.
...............
'Don't do what you say,"You shouldn't do."
'Do what you say,"YOu should do."
'I said,"Don't."
Don't you get it?
No, you don't get it.
I am so mad at you, so mad at you
i COULD KILL YOU.
,,,,,,,,,,,,
A: YOU DON'T KNOW
B: THAT'S THE PROBLEM
A: YOU DON'T KNOW
B: UNBELIEVABLE
A: YES, ITS UNBELIEVABLE
B: YOU DON'T KNOW
A: NEITHER DO YOU
B: WASTE
A: A WASTE OF LIFE
B: EVERY ONE'S?
A: NO.
B: YOUR'S?
A: YOUR'S AND MINE
B: WHY MINE?
A: MINE AND YOUR'S
B: BUT WHY MINE?
A: I CAN ASK THE SAME QUESTION
B: THEN ASK
A:NO POINT
B: NO POINT?
A: YES, NO POINT ASKING
B: ASK ANY WAY
A: I KNOW THE ANSWER, NO POINT ASKING
B: ASK ANY WAY
A: I DON'T WASTE TIME ASKING WHAT I ALREADY KNOW
B: WHAT DO YOU ALREADY KNOW
A: ITS A WASTE
B: WHAT'S A WASTE?
A: LIFE
B:YOURS?
A: YOURS AND MINE
B: NOT MINE, YOUR'S ONLY. I PLAY. I PLAY AT LIFE
A: LIFE DOESN'T LET ANY ONE PLAY WITH IT, LIFE PLAYS WITH US
B: I LIKE THAT. "LIFE PLAYS WITH US." I LIKE THAT
A: LIFE LIKES IT TOO
B: PLAYING WITH US?
A: YES
B: I DON'T MIND. I LIKE PLAYFUL LIFE
A: LIFE IS LAUGHING AT YOU
B: I LIKE THAT ALSO. I LIKE THINGS WHICH LAUGH
A: LIFE IS NOT A THING
B: WHAT IS LIFE THEN?
A: LIFE IS A DANGEROUS OBJECT
B: YOU BEHAVE AS IF ITS A KNIFE
A: YES AND ITS A SHARP KNIFE, IT WILL KILL YOU WHENEVER IT WANTS
B: THEN IT WILL GO TO JAIL
A; NOT EVERY ONE GOES TO JAIL
B: IF YOU KILL YOU GO TO JAIL
A: NOT IN OUR COUNTRY, ZIMMERMAN IS FREE.........WHEN YOU KILL
AN INNOCENT YOU DON'T GO TO JAIL BUT WHEN LIFE KILLS YOU
THEN YOU ARE CERTAINLY GUILTY. GUILTY OF NOT LIVING A GOOD LIFE.
GUILTY OF WASTING LIFE. YOU DIE FOR WASTING LIFE. YOU ARE GUILTY OF
OF THAT.
B: AND ZIMMERMAN?
A: HE IS NOT GUILTY. HE JUST WASTED SOMEONE ELSE'S LIFE, NOT HIS OWN...
NOT HIS OWN........
................................
"And what is this?"
"Just a drawing
"Drawing of what? an animal? a human? a fish? a bird. a cockroach? a fly? a rat? an insect, a mouth?
Who knows...and why do you always ask me condescending questions? who are you?
who the hell are you?"
...................
GROW UP
Don't call her
Don't call the other one also
Don't call any one....
What's wrong with you?
No, really tell me, what's wrong with you?
No, really tell me...what the f**k is wrong with you?
GROW UP............
............................
Good start
Bad end
So simplistic...............
...................
FAT, FAT, FAT
FAT ENOUGH?
"YOU ARE IN A BAD MOOD TODAY"
"ONLY TODAY?"
"SHAME ON YOU."
"DETERIORATING EVERY YEAR."
.............................
BAD MOOD
E: Write a play
F: Really?
E: yes, write a play
F: You write a play
E: I am not a playwright
F: Neither am I
E: What are you then?
F: I don't know
E: Who knows then?
F: You do-you know. You know everything. Now tell me who am I?
E: Why would I know. Its not my fucking life, Its yours
F: Then leave me the fuck alone
E: Oh! you are in a bad mood...Pretty bad mood...Pretty, Pretty bad mood......
THE END
...........................
Monday, July 15, 2013
Friday, July 12, 2013
EXCLUSION OF KARIMA ULLAH
And the exclusion from family?
They can say Karima excluded them...
She left
They had a different life
Children
Grand children
Different attitudes
Their children then moved on
So let it be.....
Karima lost a house
Karima lost companion ship
They decided to put Karima in her place
Maybe she lost
But they also lost....
Every one lost.......
Every one wanted to sweep the loss under the carpet but the
loss kept creeping through and through
Sprouted like rose buds but without the roses
And adorned with thrones
Thousands of them....
They lost
Karima's deep affection
Deep deep affection
Karima's love
Karima also lost their love
But whose fault was it?
They claim it was Karima's fault
All Karima's fault
All of it
That can't be possible
Is it?
Where there are more than two people involved
One is never faultless....
But they claimed vehemently that it was all Karima's fault....
so lets learn from previous mishaps....
Why must Karima be dependent for her happiness and success
on three to four family members and three or four other ass holes?
Four people...'
Is that it?
Three other creeps
Is that it?
Karima's life is becoming pathetic
Pathetic, dependent, helpless, hopeless
Karima is waiting for attention, love, affection,success
But its not coming and its not going to come this way
Only despair is coming
And buckets full of it is coming....
and Karima is all muddy and wet and deep in the slush....
Soon it will be too late for anything
Any hope for sure
Its already so late
So alone, so isolated, so sad.......
Karima has to snap out of it
Snap out of it
Snap out of it
Snap out of it.....
Karima has excluded herself from achievement, happiness,progress,
success, mobility,progress,enjoyment, travels,everyday duties and chores,
everyday activities,self worth.....
Karima has excluded herself from her self worth....
Thats decided
No self worth for Karima
None....
Zero......
Karima has also excluded herself from self liking
From her place of residence, from her body weight, from herself
Exclusion from self love began at her birth....
And that is all because of four or five family members and three or four other non relatives
authority figures?
Can a whole life be destroyed by a few people even important to certain extent?
I guess Karima's whole life was those certain people.....
What a shame!
What a tragedy!
Karima never realized, imagined, that the world is huge and that
huge world also belongs to her like it does to other people...
And some people from the family were not so bad....and the rest should not be
Karima's concern.....
The children of the family members are not Karima's children...
They are other people's children....
Karima never got that....
Karima should have had her own children
But she was too involved in other people's children....
Karima's love for others was abnormal
It was at her own expence
And thats how the exclusion began....
Her exclusion from herself began a long time ago
She did not know it had began
So how could she know that its now completed....
Her exclusion from herself and from the world is now complete...........
Why other people, (People she loved) were more important to her than her own life
But that was her life
Thats how she felt
Though she didn't examine the problem then
For her it was not a problem then'
Its a problem now'
When she feels abandoned by them
Abandoned by herself
Abandoned of everything.......
Abandoned by everything...........
They should have been important to Karima, her loved ones
but not more important that she forgot herself along the way....
Yes, thats what she did....She forgot herself along the way.....
Lost herself completely....
Its unbelievably sad and unfortunate.....
But no one knows about her condition
And Karima doesn't know either what their minds are at or about either.....
Why should Karima care so much at the risk of her every day happiness?
Happiness and everyday function and functioning of the mind in a healthier way.....
Karima's every day function at this moment is of ut most Importance....
Her health
Her house
Her work
Karima's whole pattern of thinking and obligations of love has to change
once and for all....
Obligation?
What a word!
and why it predominates in Karima's psyche?
Obligation of love
Obligation for love
Obligation towards love
Why not obligation towards herself?
Because Karima doesn't love herself
Karima has never loved herself
Karima is incapable of loving herself
End of the story......
But the story hasn't ended yet
The story has to change
Karima has to change her sense of obligation to the loved ones
and the strangers even to the dogs.....
Have to have extremely formal relationships with every one.....
Every one I say....
Do you hear me Karima?
I say every one.....
Including your family Karima....
Thats where it all started
The obligation of love
Thats where it all started......
And be away....
Far away, far far away from every one
far away and cold and polite
But come closer to yourself
Be warm and caring and loving to yourself Karima.....
But far, far away from every one else
Cold, polite and distant....
The secret of success of the Western world and the aeastern world and the capitalistic
society and the ancient society even the animal kingdom....
Stay away......
Not so interested in any one but in your work
Work?
What"s that?
Whatever it is....just be interested in that....
Be not interested in any one else and anything else
Not so very genuinly interested.
Its not the way of the world Karima lives in
and has failed miserably the way Karima created and lived in the
Love...love...world she imagined...
Karima lives at least 40 years behind if not a century behind....
Live in 2013
Not in 1974
Ok?
Ok?
Ok?
Karima say ok, please
Say ok
Say ok Karima......
And Karima's family is right
Why tkeep talking about certain things
Why?
What does Karima get out of it?
Let the world be full of thieves, hoodlums, war mongeres, gossipers, evil, corrupt
mony launderes, cheats, kings, bastards, hustlers....
It doesn't make any difference to Karima's life
Why keep talking about them and the news of the world and countries and faiths and whatever else...
What for?
What does it do for Karima?
Karima should understand that
Why Karima wants to be on the unpopular sid eof things and family ?
Why?
Why Karima why?
Think things,
Belive in things,
But don't say it
Don't discuss it....
Karima already believe in certain things so why discuss it with those who don't?
Why Karima?
Why?
Why are you wasting Karima?
Why are you taking revenge on your self?
Whay have you done that you need to take revenge?
What have you done that you hate yourself so much for?
Karima has no idea who she is trying to convince and whay?
And why should Karima try to convince any one about her own convictions?
If Karima is convinced thats the only thing Karima should settele on.....
Why talk about it to others?
And as far as Karima thinks that her family opinion about her is of a failure
so what?
Why the family's opinion matter so much at this stage otr at any stage of the game?
If Karima thinks she is a failure then its ok
Failure is ok....Karima....
Every one who is born is a, "FAILURE."
Success is only relative....success compared to million other people's success
is not really success either.
These are two words in English language
They have to be used on different people at different times
But Karima if that is your sorrow that your family
thinks that you are a failure....thats very good, very very good....
SEE HOW MUCH THEY THINK OF YOU ACTUALLY....
YOU ARE CONSTANTLY IN THEIR THOUGHTS...
AND IN THE THOUGHTS OF THE REST OF THE WORLD ALSO
BECAUSE KARIMA IS CONVINCED THAT SHE IS A FAILURE
AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT SO KARIMA IS NOT ACTUALLY EXCLUDED FROM THE WORLD.....
THE WORLD IS THINKING OF KARIMA AS A FAILURE BUT STILL THINKING OF KARIMA.....
DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY KARIMA?
YOU ARE A BIG PART OF THE WORLD.
THEY CAN'T APPRECIATE THEIR SUCCESS WITHOUT THINKING OF YOUR
FAILURES.
ITS YOU KARIMA, ITS YOU WHO CONSTANTLY THINK OF HERSELF AS A FAILURE....
NEITHER FAMILY NOR THE WORLD GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU KARIMA...NOT A SHIT......
SO WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FAMILY OR THE WORLD OR
WHO EVER OR WHATEVER.....
JUST FROM TODAY ON, FROM THIS MOMENT ON GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WORLD AND EVERY ONE IN IT AND EVERYTHING IN IT.....
JUST GET UP AND GIVE A SHIT......
AND IF ITS YOUR CHOICE TO EXCLUDE YOURSELF FROM THE SHITTY WORLD AND ITS INHABITANTS THEN DO IT BY ALL MEANS...
BUT DON'T LET IT UPTO THE WORLD AND FAMILY TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU....
YOU GET UP AND GIVE ASHIT ABOUT THEM..............
SO KARIMA EITHER GIVE A SHIT OR STOPP THINKING ABOUT THE SHIT OF OTHERS.....
ACCEPT YOURSELF AS A FAILURE WHO IS SURROUNDED BY SHIT AND GO ON HAPPILY.......AND AMUSE YOURSELF....
KARIMA YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AMUSE YOUR SELF IN THIS SHITTY WORLD.
Otherwise there is nothing else to be done about it....Enjjoy your failures and your whatever little things called little, little achievements, a little bit, a tiny bit,just a tiny bit...
So enjoy that tiny bit, that little bit that you did like about yoursels or feel that it was a speck of a success......amongst your tremendous failures....
Claim your failures, your mistakes, your failings, your stupidities, your blunders every second and don't
try to prove it to any one otherwise...
Karima, you don't have to prove to any one about success and failure, about love or hate, about
slim or fat, about young or old, about this country or that, about cultures, you don't have to talk about any of these things and don't talk about family and the world and success and failure....
Do not talk about it to any body........
And you will be very happy....
In order to be happy, to be peaceful Karima you have to learn to be alone and happy and do
your work....FOUR THINGS ARE REQUIRED OF YOU.
LOVE YOURSELF
BE HAPPY
BE ALONE
DO YOUR WORK
YOU YOURSELF EXCLUDE YOURSELF FROM EVERYTHING
DON'T GIVE ANY ONE THE POWER TO EXCLUDE YOU
KARIMA, YOU EXCLUDE THE DANGEROUS ELEMENTS FROM YOUR HAPPINESS....
AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH KARIMA NONE OF THIS ,"EXCLUSION " FROM
THE WORLD AND FAMILY EXISTS .....
THESE ARE ALL SELF CREATED MYTHS, FICTIONS.AND STORIES YOU
WROTE YOUR SELF
WHATS REAL IS YOU KARIMA
YOU KARIMA...YOU ARE REAL YOU ARE NOT A WORK OF FICTION
YOU ARE NOT A STORY CREATED BY YOU
YOU EXIST.....
TRY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
TRY TO BE FUNCTIONAL
TRY TO BE HAPPY
TRY TO BE THANKFUL
TRY TO AMUSE YOURSELF
DON'T TAKE KARIMA SO SERIOUSLY
AND DON'T TAKE THE WORLD AND THE FAMILY SERIOUSLY
YOU, YOU KARIMA, NEEDS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
BUT NOT SO SERIOUSLY THAT YOU WILL FORGET TO LAUGH, AND LAUGH LOUD...
YOU KARIMA EXCLUDE YOURSELF FROM THE WORLD AND DO YOUR WORK....
WORK?
WHAT WORK>
FIGURE THAT OUT....
THATS THE ONLY PROBLEM YOU HAVE KARIMA
THE ONLY PROBLEM
YOU HAVE EXCLUDED YOURSELF FROM YOUR WORK.............................
Ok?
And the exclusion from family?
They can say Karima excluded them...
She left
They had a different life
Children
Grand children
Different attitudes
Their children then moved on
So let it be.....
Karima lost a house
Karima lost companion ship
They decided to put Karima in her place
Maybe she lost
But they also lost....
Every one lost.......
Every one wanted to sweep the loss under the carpet but the
loss kept creeping through and through
Sprouted like rose buds but without the roses
And adorned with thrones
Thousands of them....
They lost
Karima's deep affection
Deep deep affection
Karima's love
Karima also lost their love
But whose fault was it?
They claim it was Karima's fault
All Karima's fault
All of it
That can't be possible
Is it?
Where there are more than two people involved
One is never faultless....
But they claimed vehemently that it was all Karima's fault....
so lets learn from previous mishaps....
Why must Karima be dependent for her happiness and success
on three to four family members and three or four other ass holes?
Four people...'
Is that it?
Three other creeps
Is that it?
Karima's life is becoming pathetic
Pathetic, dependent, helpless, hopeless
Karima is waiting for attention, love, affection,success
But its not coming and its not going to come this way
Only despair is coming
And buckets full of it is coming....
and Karima is all muddy and wet and deep in the slush....
Soon it will be too late for anything
Any hope for sure
Its already so late
So alone, so isolated, so sad.......
Karima has to snap out of it
Snap out of it
Snap out of it
Snap out of it.....
Karima has excluded herself from achievement, happiness,progress,
success, mobility,progress,enjoyment, travels,everyday duties and chores,
everyday activities,self worth.....
Karima has excluded herself from her self worth....
Thats decided
No self worth for Karima
None....
Zero......
Karima has also excluded herself from self liking
From her place of residence, from her body weight, from herself
Exclusion from self love began at her birth....
And that is all because of four or five family members and three or four other non relatives
authority figures?
Can a whole life be destroyed by a few people even important to certain extent?
I guess Karima's whole life was those certain people.....
What a shame!
What a tragedy!
Karima never realized, imagined, that the world is huge and that
huge world also belongs to her like it does to other people...
And some people from the family were not so bad....and the rest should not be
Karima's concern.....
The children of the family members are not Karima's children...
They are other people's children....
Karima never got that....
Karima should have had her own children
But she was too involved in other people's children....
Karima's love for others was abnormal
It was at her own expence
And thats how the exclusion began....
Her exclusion from herself began a long time ago
She did not know it had began
So how could she know that its now completed....
Her exclusion from herself and from the world is now complete...........
Why other people, (People she loved) were more important to her than her own life
But that was her life
Thats how she felt
Though she didn't examine the problem then
For her it was not a problem then'
Its a problem now'
When she feels abandoned by them
Abandoned by herself
Abandoned of everything.......
Abandoned by everything...........
They should have been important to Karima, her loved ones
but not more important that she forgot herself along the way....
Yes, thats what she did....She forgot herself along the way.....
Lost herself completely....
Its unbelievably sad and unfortunate.....
But no one knows about her condition
And Karima doesn't know either what their minds are at or about either.....
Why should Karima care so much at the risk of her every day happiness?
Happiness and everyday function and functioning of the mind in a healthier way.....
Karima's every day function at this moment is of ut most Importance....
Her health
Her house
Her work
Karima's whole pattern of thinking and obligations of love has to change
once and for all....
Obligation?
What a word!
and why it predominates in Karima's psyche?
Obligation of love
Obligation for love
Obligation towards love
Why not obligation towards herself?
Because Karima doesn't love herself
Karima has never loved herself
Karima is incapable of loving herself
End of the story......
But the story hasn't ended yet
The story has to change
Karima has to change her sense of obligation to the loved ones
and the strangers even to the dogs.....
Have to have extremely formal relationships with every one.....
Every one I say....
Do you hear me Karima?
I say every one.....
Including your family Karima....
Thats where it all started
The obligation of love
Thats where it all started......
And be away....
Far away, far far away from every one
far away and cold and polite
But come closer to yourself
Be warm and caring and loving to yourself Karima.....
But far, far away from every one else
Cold, polite and distant....
The secret of success of the Western world and the aeastern world and the capitalistic
society and the ancient society even the animal kingdom....
Stay away......
Not so interested in any one but in your work
Work?
What"s that?
Whatever it is....just be interested in that....
Be not interested in any one else and anything else
Not so very genuinly interested.
Its not the way of the world Karima lives in
and has failed miserably the way Karima created and lived in the
Love...love...world she imagined...
Karima lives at least 40 years behind if not a century behind....
Live in 2013
Not in 1974
Ok?
Ok?
Ok?
Karima say ok, please
Say ok
Say ok Karima......
And Karima's family is right
Why tkeep talking about certain things
Why?
What does Karima get out of it?
Let the world be full of thieves, hoodlums, war mongeres, gossipers, evil, corrupt
mony launderes, cheats, kings, bastards, hustlers....
It doesn't make any difference to Karima's life
Why keep talking about them and the news of the world and countries and faiths and whatever else...
What for?
What does it do for Karima?
Karima should understand that
Why Karima wants to be on the unpopular sid eof things and family ?
Why?
Why Karima why?
Think things,
Belive in things,
But don't say it
Don't discuss it....
Karima already believe in certain things so why discuss it with those who don't?
Why Karima?
Why?
Why are you wasting Karima?
Why are you taking revenge on your self?
Whay have you done that you need to take revenge?
What have you done that you hate yourself so much for?
Karima has no idea who she is trying to convince and whay?
And why should Karima try to convince any one about her own convictions?
If Karima is convinced thats the only thing Karima should settele on.....
Why talk about it to others?
And as far as Karima thinks that her family opinion about her is of a failure
so what?
Why the family's opinion matter so much at this stage otr at any stage of the game?
If Karima thinks she is a failure then its ok
Failure is ok....Karima....
Every one who is born is a, "FAILURE."
Success is only relative....success compared to million other people's success
is not really success either.
These are two words in English language
They have to be used on different people at different times
But Karima if that is your sorrow that your family
thinks that you are a failure....thats very good, very very good....
SEE HOW MUCH THEY THINK OF YOU ACTUALLY....
YOU ARE CONSTANTLY IN THEIR THOUGHTS...
AND IN THE THOUGHTS OF THE REST OF THE WORLD ALSO
BECAUSE KARIMA IS CONVINCED THAT SHE IS A FAILURE
AND THE WHOLE WORLD KNOWS IT SO KARIMA IS NOT ACTUALLY EXCLUDED FROM THE WORLD.....
THE WORLD IS THINKING OF KARIMA AS A FAILURE BUT STILL THINKING OF KARIMA.....
DOES THAT MAKE YOU HAPPY KARIMA?
YOU ARE A BIG PART OF THE WORLD.
THEY CAN'T APPRECIATE THEIR SUCCESS WITHOUT THINKING OF YOUR
FAILURES.
ITS YOU KARIMA, ITS YOU WHO CONSTANTLY THINK OF HERSELF AS A FAILURE....
NEITHER FAMILY NOR THE WORLD GIVES A SHIT ABOUT YOU KARIMA...NOT A SHIT......
SO WHY SHOULD YOU GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE FAMILY OR THE WORLD OR
WHO EVER OR WHATEVER.....
JUST FROM TODAY ON, FROM THIS MOMENT ON GIVE A SHIT ABOUT THE WORLD AND EVERY ONE IN IT AND EVERYTHING IN IT.....
JUST GET UP AND GIVE A SHIT......
AND IF ITS YOUR CHOICE TO EXCLUDE YOURSELF FROM THE SHITTY WORLD AND ITS INHABITANTS THEN DO IT BY ALL MEANS...
BUT DON'T LET IT UPTO THE WORLD AND FAMILY TO GIVE A SHIT ABOUT YOU....
YOU GET UP AND GIVE ASHIT ABOUT THEM..............
SO KARIMA EITHER GIVE A SHIT OR STOPP THINKING ABOUT THE SHIT OF OTHERS.....
ACCEPT YOURSELF AS A FAILURE WHO IS SURROUNDED BY SHIT AND GO ON HAPPILY.......AND AMUSE YOURSELF....
KARIMA YOU HAVE THE RIGHT TO AMUSE YOUR SELF IN THIS SHITTY WORLD.
Otherwise there is nothing else to be done about it....Enjjoy your failures and your whatever little things called little, little achievements, a little bit, a tiny bit,just a tiny bit...
So enjoy that tiny bit, that little bit that you did like about yoursels or feel that it was a speck of a success......amongst your tremendous failures....
Claim your failures, your mistakes, your failings, your stupidities, your blunders every second and don't
try to prove it to any one otherwise...
Karima, you don't have to prove to any one about success and failure, about love or hate, about
slim or fat, about young or old, about this country or that, about cultures, you don't have to talk about any of these things and don't talk about family and the world and success and failure....
Do not talk about it to any body........
And you will be very happy....
In order to be happy, to be peaceful Karima you have to learn to be alone and happy and do
your work....FOUR THINGS ARE REQUIRED OF YOU.
LOVE YOURSELF
BE HAPPY
BE ALONE
DO YOUR WORK
YOU YOURSELF EXCLUDE YOURSELF FROM EVERYTHING
DON'T GIVE ANY ONE THE POWER TO EXCLUDE YOU
KARIMA, YOU EXCLUDE THE DANGEROUS ELEMENTS FROM YOUR HAPPINESS....
AND TO TELL YOU THE TRUTH KARIMA NONE OF THIS ,"EXCLUSION " FROM
THE WORLD AND FAMILY EXISTS .....
THESE ARE ALL SELF CREATED MYTHS, FICTIONS.AND STORIES YOU
WROTE YOUR SELF
WHATS REAL IS YOU KARIMA
YOU KARIMA...YOU ARE REAL YOU ARE NOT A WORK OF FICTION
YOU ARE NOT A STORY CREATED BY YOU
YOU EXIST.....
TRY TO DO SOMETHING ABOUT THAT.
TRY TO BE FUNCTIONAL
TRY TO BE HAPPY
TRY TO BE THANKFUL
TRY TO AMUSE YOURSELF
DON'T TAKE KARIMA SO SERIOUSLY
AND DON'T TAKE THE WORLD AND THE FAMILY SERIOUSLY
YOU, YOU KARIMA, NEEDS TO BE TAKEN SERIOUSLY
BUT NOT SO SERIOUSLY THAT YOU WILL FORGET TO LAUGH, AND LAUGH LOUD...
YOU KARIMA EXCLUDE YOURSELF FROM THE WORLD AND DO YOUR WORK....
WORK?
WHAT WORK>
FIGURE THAT OUT....
THATS THE ONLY PROBLEM YOU HAVE KARIMA
THE ONLY PROBLEM
YOU HAVE EXCLUDED YOURSELF FROM YOUR WORK.............................
Ok?
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