'YOU"

"YOU". said, "I was selfish."

"YOU", said, "It was all about me."

"YOU", said,"I don't deserve your friendship."

"YOU" said," I am disturbed."

"YOU" said, "You had been very good to me."

I will come to these allegations one by one and those will be my parting words to you.

I am going to start from the bottom.

That part is the most interesting ....

According to you, "You had been very good to me."

Does that mean I have been bad to you?

Or does that mean that I haven't been good to you?

Or does that mean that I haven't been as good to you as you had been to me?

Or does that mean that I have not been good to you at all?

Only you who had been good to me?

What does being good to you mean?

Being concerned for others?

Being faithful to others?

Being honest with others?

Being generous with others?

Being sincere with others?

Happy to spend prime time with others?

Being with them during their difficulties and happiness?

Helping them with some charity some times?

It's good to give charity to the ones who are less fortunate than us....

But it shouldn't make us outraged doing it....

Don't you think?

What's the meaning of charity otherwise.....

Give in the name of god and for your own blessing

And forget about it for heaven's sake.....

To remind people who are very grateful already and almost half

Bent over with the obligation and humiliation of taking....

Isn't that a reminder to the giver that he or she gave?

Does one have to have rants and outbursts of rage as reminders?

They remember.....

They not only remember, they also wish you well....

But to hammer it down their throats.....?

Might as well not give that charity at all.....

Its all nitty gritty..........................

"You did this for me" "And I did this for you"

Its not my style

Its yours

But since you claimed, "That you had been very good to me."

And completely eliminating the kindness and goodness of others

I thought was in poor taste....

And perhaps you need a reminder of how other people have been good to you....

I spend thousands of hours of my time over the years

at your store and upstairs, loving you, entertaining you, giving you company,

sharing my knowledge, my happiness, my frustrations, my ambitions, my TIME................

TIME SWEETHEART, TIME, TIME WHICH IS THE MOST PRECIOUS GEMS, DIAMONDS AND RUBIES AND PEARLS.....TIME IS MONEY AS WE ALL AGREE......YOU SPEND ALL YOUR TIME MAKING MONEY.....ALL YOUR TIME.....I SPEND THOUSANDS OF HOURS

AT YOUR HOUSE AND YOUR STORE WHILE YOU MULTITASKED AND MADE MONEY AND MY TIME....WHICH WAS AND IS ALSO MONEY WHETHER YOU SEE THE DOLLAR SIGN ON IT OR NOT, IT IS MONEY SWEETHEART, ITS MONEY.....SO IN RETURN OF YOUR KINDNESS AND GENEROSITY OF YOUR MONEY I GAVE YOU MUCH MORE MONEY BACK....FAR MORE IN NUMBERS THAN ANY ONE CAN GIVE......

YOU FORGOT THAT..............I GAVE IT TO YOU FOR FREE............FREE...MY DIAMONDS FOR FREE............

EVERY TIME I SPEND FOUR HOURS AT YOUR PLACE, GIVING YOU COMPANY, PLAYING WITH YOUR CHILD, I GAVE AND GAVE AWAY MY PRECIOUS TIME AND YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE THE ONLY ONE WHO HAD BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME?

EVERY TIME I READ A BOOK, I TALKED ABOUT IT WITH YOU. I SHARED MY KNOWLEDGE OF LITERATURE, CULTURE, ART, POETRY, POLITICS, HISTORY, WARS, THE WORLD, THE LAUGHTER, THE CONVERSATIONS, THE ENLIGHTENMENT....

I CAME TO YOUR HOUSE AFTER SIX FLIGHT OF STAIRS WHILE YOU KNOW THAT I AM AFRAID OF THE STAIRS AFTER MY FALL YEARS AGO....I CLIMBED THOSE STAIRS EVERY TIME TO GIVE YOU AND YOUR CHILDREN COMPANY........THINK ABOUT IT.....

FOR THAT KIND OF COMPANY AND KNOWLEDGE PEOPLE PAY A HELL OF A LOT AT THE NEW SCHOOL.

FOR MY KNID OF TALK PEOPLE PAY A HELL OF A LOT TO LISTEN TO IN THE UNIVERSITIES..............YOU GOT IT ALL FOR FREE.............AND YOU STILL PUTTING THE BURDEN AND OBLIGATION OF YOUR DOLLARS WHICH CAN NEVER EQUAL MY GENEROSITY OF TIME ON MY SHOULDERS FOR THE REST OF MY LIFE?

WHY DID I DO IT AND DID IT ALL THOSE YEARS?

I THOUGHT IT WAS LOVE

I THOUGHT YOU WERE MY FAMILY

BUT YOU ARE FOR SURE RIGHT ON ONE THING...............

"YOU SAID,"THAT I AM DISTURBED."

YOU ARE SO RIGHT.

I MUST BE SO DISTURBED.

SO VERY DISTURBED.

TO SPEND THOUSANDS OF HOURS OF MY PRECIOUS THING CALLED, TIME ON SOME ONE WHO ONLY CAME TWICE TO MY HOUSE IN 10 YEARS.

WHY DIDN'T YOU RUSHED TO MY DOOR TO ENTERTAIN ME?

TOO BUSY?

MAKING MONEY?

CAN'T SPARE A SECOND AWAY FROM YOUR STORE?

TOO BUSY MAKING MONEY?

OTHER PEOPLE'S TIME AND GENEROSITY HAD NO MEANING TO YOU...

OTHERWISE YOU WON'T BE ABLE TO SAY THAT,"YOU WERE VERY GOOD TO ME>"

ONLY YOU WERE GOOD TIGHT?

AND I WAS BAD, BAD, BAD BECAUSE MY TIME WAS NOT WRAPPED IN GREEN DOLLARS...

SO IT HAD LIMITED VALUE FOR YOU....

AND I WAS A FOOL....

I MUST BE A FOOL TO RUN TO THE QYUEEN AT HER PALACE TO ENTERTAIN HER FOR FREE.

SHAKESPEARE WROTE ABOUT THOSE FOOLS 400 YEARS AGO AND I AM STILL PLAYING THAT FOOL WHILE THERE IS NO KING AND NO QUEEN ANY MORE.

I READ TOO MUCH SHAKESPEARE AND BECAME A FOOL FOR LOVE.

LET ME TELL YOU ONE THING.....

AS LONG AS YOU LIVE, YOU WILL NEVER BE ABLE TO FIND A FOOL LIKE ME IN THE GUISE OF A FRIEND AND A GREAT FRIEND TO WHOM YOU SPOKE SO HARSHLY AND SO INDIGNANTLY AS IF YOU OWNED ME AND AS IF YOU HAD COMPLETELY FORGOTON WHO YOU WERE TALKING TO...................

I AM A PERSON OF GREAT DIGNITY AND HONOR AND SOPHISTICATION AND I HAVE NEVER EVER ASKED ANY BODY FOR ANY KIND OF HELP....

WHATEVER YOU GAVE ME I ALWAYS WAS APPRECIATIVE ALMOST TOO MUCH SOME TIMES AND I ALWAYS TRIED TO RETURN THE FAVOR....

ON EVERY EID I BROUGHT YOU A GIFT, NO BIG DEAL BUT JUST A THOUGHT, PN EVERY RAMADAN I SPEND A HELL OF A LOT OF TIME WITH YOU....

YOU GAVE ME SOME LAMB DURING THE MONTH OF RAMADAN AS SUDKA AND I EVEN APPRECIATED THAT.

I APPRECIATED EVERY LITTLE THING OR BIG THING YOU DID FOR ME BUT YOU APPRECIATED NOTHING.

YOU APPRECIATED NOT MY TIME. NOT MY GENEROSITY WITH MY TIME, YOU DID NOT APPRECIATE ME CLIMBING YOUR STAIRS HUNDREDS OF TIMES, YOU DIDN'T APPRECIATE THE LOVE AND COMPANY I CAME TO YOU TO GIVE.............

YOU ONLY REMEMBER YOUR GOODNESS....MONEY, FOOD, NOT MUCH TIME OF YOURS FOR SURE YOU GAVE ME.

EVERY TIME I CALLED YOU TEN TIMES INFORMING YOU THAT I AM IN SUCH AND SUCH CAFE IF YOU CAME YOU CAME FOR NOT MORE THAN FIFTEEN MINUTES.

I NEVER ASKED YOU TO BUY ME ANY THING AT THE CAFE'S. IF YOU HAD YOUR JUICE OR WATER OR COFFE AND YOU PAID FOR IT AND INCLUDING MY COFFE....WHICH YOU ALWAYS INSISTED TO PAY....I HAD TO BE SO GRATEFUL ....EVERY TIME YOU CAME TO SEE ME IN THE CAFE, I WAS ALREADY THERE, I MUST HAVE THREE TO FOUR DOLLARS IN MY POCKET TO PAY FOR IT...MY SELF.....WHY ORDER FOOD FOR YOURSELF SND THAN ACCUSE ME THAT YOU HAVE BEEN SPENDING MONEY ON ME AT THE CAFE?

MANY A TIME YOU WILL SAY THAT YOU ARE COMING TO THE CAFE BUT YOU NEVER CAME, NOT ONLY THAT YOU NEVER CAME YOU NEVER BOTHERED TO CALL THAT YOU ARE NOT COMING...THOSE THINGS WERE VERY UN IMPORTANT FOR YOU. YOU WERE WORKING, MAKING MONEY. THAT WAS IMPORTANT FOR YOU. OTHER PEOPLE WHOM YOU CALLED YOUR BEST FRIEND AND FAMILY WAS NOT REALLY IMPORTANT TO YOU TO BE POLITE TO CALL THEM AND SAY, HEY, DON'T WAIT FOR ME, YOU BUM....

ALWAYS SITTING IN THE CAFE'S...I AM BUSY MAKING MONEY WHICH YOU DON'T HAVE YOU POOR SLOB...YOU ARE NOT WORTH A PHONE CALL..................

BUT YOU GOT IT ALL WRONG. EVERY ONE HAS A PRORITY IN LIFE.

I CHOSE NOT TO MAKE MONEY. I CHOSE TO HAVE TIME TO READ, WRITE, DRAW.

THAT WAS MY WORK. THAT WAS MY MONEY.

I WAS ALWAYS WORKING IN THE CAFE'S. THAT WAS MY STORE. EVERY TIME YOU CAME TO SEE ME IN THE CAFE, I RIGHT AWAY PUT MY WORK ON THE SIDE AND GAVE YOU ONE HUNDERED PERCENT ATTENTION.

HOW MANY TIMES YOU DID THAT FOR ME IN YOUR STORE?

WHY YOU AND YOUR WORK WAS MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME AND MY WORK?

MUST BE...............

YOU NEVER STOPPED FOR ONE SECOND WHEN I WAS IN YOUR STORE. I HAD TO BE THERE FOR HOURS TO TALK TO YOU FOR TEN MINUTES.

EVERY TIMES I SAID I HAVE TO GO YOU WERE ANNOYED. YOU WANTED COMPANY BUT AT OTHER PEOPLE'S EXPANSE. YES YOU GOT ME A COFFEE EVERYTIME BUT TO SPEND

HOURS JUST SITTING OR STANDING THERE LIKE A STATUE WAITING FOR YOU TO FINISH WITH YOUR CUSTOMERS...I MUST BE MAD...YOU ARE RIGHT...I AM A DISTURBED PERSON.

SOME SANE PERSON WOULD SAY, TO HELL WITH THIS KIND OF UN-EVEN FRIENDSHIP AND WALK OUT AND NEVER COME BACK....

IF YOU WANTED TO SEE ME...I HAD TO COME TO YOU AND IF I WANTED TO SEE YOU EVEN THEN I HAD TO COME TO SEE YOU......WHY? WHY DID I ALLOW THAT KIND OF ARRANGEMENT? WHY? I MUST BE DISTURBED. YOU ARE RIGHT ON THAT AGAIN...........

YOU SAID,"I NEVER OFFERED TO HELP YOUR BOYS"

YOU ARE WRONG ON THAT.

I HAVE SPEND TONS OF TIME IN YOUR PLACE ENTERTAINING AND PLAYING WITH YOUR SON WHICH I LOVED BUT YOU CAN'T SAY A WORD OF APPRECIATION ABOUT THAT.

I CAME TO ALL HIS BIRTHDAYS.

I WAS WITH YOU, SUPPORTING YOU, COMFORTING YOU DURING BOTH YOUR PREGNANCIES I WAS AT THE HOSPITAL AT BOTH OF YOUR CHILDREN'S BIRTH.

I ALWAYS CAME WHEN YOU WERE HOME FOR ONE MONTH AFTER THE BABIES WERE BORN AND SPENDS HOURS OF MY TIME, WHICH WAS MY MONEY ON YOU ....

I WAS RIGHT THERE AFTER THE TRAGIC DEATH OF YOUR BROTHER...I STAYED THE WHOLE DAY, THAN I WENT WITH YOU TO THE MOSQUE THE NEXT DAY...I WAS WORRIED ABOUT YOU GOING ALONE AT SUCH SAD TIME...I INQUIRED ABOUT YOUR WELFARE IN THE EVENING FROM YOUR HUSBAND AT THE STORE.....JUST A THOUGHT OF LOVE AND CONCERN DOES NOT COUNT FOR YOU?

WHAT COUNT FOR YOU? GREEN MONEY? SOUNDS LIKE IT...IF YOU APPRECIATED NOTHING ABOUT ME OR WHAT I DID AND TALKED TO ME AT THE END AS IF I WAS

SOME KIND OF BUM IN-FRONT OF YOUR STORE....YOUR LANGUAGE WAS DISGUSTING.

AND YOU SAY I AM SELFISH?

I WENT WITH YOU THE DAY YOU WERE GOING FOR HUJJ AT 9 IN THE MORNING TO THE UP-TOWN MOSQUE AND I WAS WITH YOU TILL 2PM WHILE I HAD A SHOW AT 3PM AND I WAS ALMOST LATE FOR MY OWN WORK AND YOU SAID THAT I AM SELFISH..............

EVERY TIME I WENT HOME, I BROUGHT YOU BEAUTIFUL GIFTS, VERY EXPANSIVE GIFTS BECAUSE I LOVED YOU AND YOU SAY YOU HAD BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME?

WHEN YOU WENT FOR HUJJ I BROUGHT YOU A WHOLE BUNDLE OF BEAUTIFUL TAILOR MADE CLOTHES FOR YOU FOR COOL AND HOT WEATHER....

THAT THOUGHT OF CONCERN ON MY PART AND LOVE MUST BE A VERY SELFISH THING....

DID YOU EVER APPRECIATE ANYTHING I DID FOR YOU EVER? OR IN YOUR MAD RAGE AT THE END YOU FORGOT EVERY LITTLE THING...

YOU REMEMBERED THE MONEY YOU GAVE ME...THATS FOR SURE BUT WHATEVER I GAVE YOU HAD NO VALUE FOR YOU. BUT MY TIME AND MY DIGNITY AND MY COMPANY, NO ONE CAN PAY FOR THAT...THE PRICE IS TOO HIGH....

I GAVE YOU LOTS OF MY ORIGINAL ART WORK WHICH YOU NEVER EVER FRAMED AND PUT ON YOUR WALLS...BECAUS TO YOU YOU ARE THE MOST IMPORTANT THING ON THIS PLANET, YOU, YOUR STORE, YOUR HOUSE, GOD BLESS EVERYTHING YOU HAVE BUT OTHER PEOPLE'S LIVES, THEIR TIME, THEIR DECENCY, THEIR MODRSTY, THEIR HUMANITY, THEIR HUNBLE NATURE IS SO VERY IMPORTANT THAT YOU CAN NEVER EVEN IMAGINE.......................

IT WAS A FATAL MISTAKE FOR YOU TO BARGE IN THE CAFE THE LAST TIME WHERE I WAS CALMLY SITTING AND DOING MY WORK AND YOU WERE TOTALLY AGGRESSIVE AND ABUSIVE FOR NO RHYME OR REASON AT ALL.

YOU DISTURBED MY WORK, DISTURBED MY PSYCHE, SAID NASTY THINGS....

YOU WERE DEMANDING THAT HOW DARE I DIDN'T SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR AFTER YOUR UNCLE'S SUICIDE. YOU COULDN'T TAKE A BREATHER FROM YOUR FURY TO THINK THAT I CALLED TWENTY TIMES SHOWING MY CONCERN...BUT YOU INSISTED THAT WAS NOT ENOUGH FOR YOU I HAD TO SHOW UP AT YOUR STORE OR HOUSE.....

DID YOU THINK FOR A SECOND THAT PERHAPS I ALSO GOT BUSY, OR SICK OR HAD A JOB, I HAD TO WRITE MY SCRIPT FOR THE NEW PLAY, PERHAPS I DIDN'T HAVE THE TIME TO SHOW UP AT YOUR DOOR AS USUAL AND HOW COME YOU DIDN'T INQUIRE ABOUT MY WELFARE?

WHY IN THIS RELATIONSHIP IT BECAME MY DUTY TO SHOW UP AND YOU NEVER SHOWING UP AT MY DOOR.

WHEN I WAS WORKING THREE TO FOUR MONTHS EVERY YEAR DOING MY PLAY HOW COME YOU DIDN'T SHOW UP AT MY WORK PLACE. I WOULD ALSO WELCOME YOU WITH A KISS THAN DO MY WORK FOR TWO HOURS WITH MY ACTORS WHILE YOU WOULD PATIENTLY WAIT AND AFTER I AM FINISHED I WILL GET YOU A COFFEE.

DID YOU DO THAT/

HOW MANY TIMES YOU SHOWED UP AT THE THEATER?

AND WHY NOT?

WHY NOT?

ARE YOU MORE SPECIAL THAN ME?

WAS YOUR WORK MORE IMPORTANT THAN ME?

OH! BECAUSE I HAD TO SHOW UP BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MONEY ONCE IN A WHILE AND I DIDN'T.

OH! I SEE...THE MONEY WAS FOR THAT.

I DIDN'T UNDERSTAND.

I THOUGHT YOU HELPED A STRUGGLING ARTIST AS A PATRON OF THE ARTS AND THAT WAS THAT.

I DIDN'T THINK THERE WERE TREMENDOUS EXPECTATIONS WERE ATTACHED TO THAT.

SUCH AS TAKING CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND HELPING YOU IN THE STORE.........

AND WHY WOULD I DO THAT?

BECAUSE I WAS YOUR FRIEND................

OH! THATS AGOOD ONE.

IF ONLY IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP I WAS SUPPOSED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOYS HOW COME IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP YOU DIDN'T TAKE CARE OF ANY THING IN MY LIFE?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T COME AND REDO MY APT?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T HELP ME GET MY APT PAINTED?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T HELP ME GET SOME SHELVES BUILT IN MY APT?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T HELP ME THROW SOME FURNITURE OUT FROM MY APT?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T OFFER TO STRAIGHTEN OUT MY WRITING?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T OFFER TO HELP MY SCRIPT TYPED?

HOW COME YOU DIDN'T COME TO THE THEATER TO HELP ME WITH MY PRODUCTIONS?

WHY NOT?

WEREN'T YOU A FRIEND?

IF YOU WERE NOT SUPPOSED TO DO ALL THOSE THINGS FOR ME IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP, HOW COME YOU EXPECTED ME TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR BOYS AND STORE IN THE NAME OF FRIENDSHIP?

DOESN'T MAKE ANY SENSE TO ME. ONE FRIEND SHOULD BE EXPECTED OF SO MUCH AND THE OTHER FRIEND OF NOTHING BECAUSE ITS NOT THE PART OF FRIENDSHIP AS FAR AS THEY ARE CONCERNED....

SO WHY THIS EXPECTATION FROM ME?

SHOULD I ANSWER MY OWN QUESTION TO YOU?

BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MONEY....................

MONEY KEEPS COMING BACK.........IN THE EQUATION...

BECAUSE YOU GAVE ME MONEY.

I WAS OBLIGED TO TAKE CARE OF YOUR CHILDREN AND YOUR STORE AND I NEVER OFFRED...I AM SO UNGRATEFUL AND SELFISH AND YOU WERE SUCH A GREAT FRIEND

WHO HAD BEEN VERY GOOD TO ME...CAN'T EVER FORGET THAT.

IF YOU GAVE MONEY FOR THAT HIDDEN PURPOSE AND IF I KNEW ABOUT IT I WILL

NEVER ACCEPT ONE DOLLAR FROM YOU OR ANY ONE ELSE FOR THAT MATTER. NEVER. I HAVE GIVEN UP MILLIONS OF DOLLARS WHEN I STOPPED BEING A DOCTOR.

I HAVE NEVER TAKEN A PENNY FROM ANY ONE IN MY LIFE EXCEPT YOU WHICH WAS AHUGE MISTAKE WHICH WILL BOTHER ME FOR EVER AFTER YOUR OBNOXIOUS BEHAVIOR.

I HAVE MY PRINCIPAL AND MY DIGNITY AND MY ETHICS. I NEVER SOLD MY SOUL FOR MONEY. I HAVE NEVER EVER DONE A HUSTLE IN MY LIFE. I HATE CORRUPT MONEY. I HATE MONEY ACTUALLY BECAUSE IT CORRUPTS THE EGO OF HUMAN BEINGS AND THEY START TO THINK ONLY IN THE TERMS OF MONEY. NOTHING ELSE IS OF VALUE TO THEM, ESPECIALLY OTHER PEOPLE AND THEIR TIME AND THEIR INTERESTS.

I COULD HAVE ALSO MADE MONEY AS A PLAYWRIGHT IF I SAID WHAT EVERY ONE WANTED TO HEAR AND NEVER CAME NEAR THE TRUTH AS I SEE IT.

I OFFENDED PEOPLE WHO COULD HELP ME TOWARDS MY CAREER BY SAYING IN MY PLAYS WHAT NEEDED TO BE SAID.

A PERSON OF SUCH INTEGRITY YOU EMBARRASSED EVENTUALLY BY MENTIONING YOUR GOODNESS TO ME WHICH WAS AT THE EXPANSE OF MY TIME AND MY EMOTIONS AND MY LOVE FOR YOU AND FOR YOUR CHILDREN ESPECIALLY UMA.

EVEN AFTER YOUR LAST TIME VISIT IN THE CAFE AND YOUR ABUSIVE BEHAVIOR I STILL CALLED AGAIN................WHA'S WRONG WITH ME? DISTURBED LIKE YOU SAID...

BUT I STILL CALLED AND ON THAT PHONE YOU CROSSED ALL BOUNDERIS OF DECENCY. YOU WERE BEYOND HORRIBLE.

YOU SAID AND I QUOTE,"

'I WILL NEVER LEAVE MY CHILDREN ALONE WITH YOU, NEVER."

THAT IS UN FORGIVE ABL

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS, A GREAT POET AND A GREAT PLAYWRIGHT ONCE SAID,

"DELIBERATE CRUELTY IS UN FORGIVE ABL.

ADIEUE .................................

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