THESE AWFUL DREAMS

ALL NIGHT WITH A COUPLE
A MAN AND A WOMAN, THE WOMAN A BIT STRANGE
THE MAN MORE STRANGE THAN THE WOMAN
NO, i TAKE IT BACK
THE WOMAN MORE STRANGE THAN THE MAN
WE ARE STAYING WITH THEM
ME AND MY PARTNER

She keeps making sarcastic remarks
Keep offering me $5 dollar bill
Out of two $5 bills
And at the same time keep making remarks such as,
"Oh! taking care of the people staying with us already."
"Oh! here take it…Keeping them and paying for them."
"I don't want to take your money.  Please stop offering me your five bucks."
"No its ok, take it. "
Then she murmurs to herself, "I have to keep them and then give them money also."
She murmurs loud enough so I can hear it.

Then we go for a walk
Me and her
The road is dark
Very dark
Dark as hell
We are walking
Hardly any one else on the road
Do we stop at a cafe or a bar or somewhere?
I do not remember
Then we come back
There is nothing to eat
There is nothing to buy
Nothing around
I am holding my 5 dollar bill in my hand
But there is nothing there to buy

But even if there were What can one buy with five dollars?
But still, there is nothing around
She and her man are some kind of artists
She has some cardboard stands with some kind of plastic
Figures glued to them
Quite a few cardboard stands
I can't figure out what kind of art it is
But they are considering themselves artists.

Like every one else these days
Everyone is an artist
Since there are so many bad artists around
Everyone can afford to call themselves artists.

'What do you do?"
'I am an artist."
'What kind of an artist?"
'Artist."

End of story.
Thats it
You are an artist and no one can refute it.
So we have so many artists in the world now.
We encounter them in our lives and in our dreams

The woman looks like some one I know in real life
I don't really know her
Do you ever really know any one?
I don't know any one for real
They all surprise me
Overpower me
Control me
With their deceptions
I know so many people who cherish their deceptions with a relish
I keep believing them
They keep deceiving me

Then one day I stop believing them
But they continue deceiving me
Its me or them at fault?
Me, of course …
I am always at fault

The fault of mine is lack of understanding of the modern man and the modern woman of twentieth Century…
As well as the twenty first Century…
People have always gotten away with playing games with me
Simple games
Serious games
Ordinary games
Harmless games
Meaningless games
But games nevertheless

GAMES SUCH AS, "I WILL CALL YOU TOMORROW."
And then you never hear from them
Doesn't seem any important or un-usual game
But the problem with me is that when they say it I believe that this time they will keep their words
Because I keep believing in some basic decency in human beings
I still keep believing in that basic decency
I still keep believing that the when you give your word to someone, you must keep it.
'What am I without my word?"
My father used to say.
"Oh! no"  He will say.  "I can't go back on my words."
"I gave my word, I can't go back now."
There was some kind of honor in those days
Some kind of politeness
Some kind of dignity
Some kind of trust.

When some one now says to me, "I will call you tomorrow, we will do this and that."
By now I feel and somehow know that they won't call me because it has happened so many times
And they really don't mean anything by saying such things, they just say it and then I still think that perhaps this time they will keep their words because they have done otherwise so often and I feel after all they are human beings and some day their decent instinct of not bluffing others will awaken
Or they might in their heart of heart think that its not the symbol of a great character to say something
and never do it.

But actually that is their character.
They have no character
Thats their character
Which is no character at all
And those are the people who succeed in whatever the modern success is.
Thats how it is
But what is one without one's word?

That woman in the dream reminded me of a such woman I know in real life
She says things, all kinds of things but never fulfill them and then if you ever see her
by chance she has the whole list of mind boggling excuses ….which are even worst
than not keeping your word.

The woman in my dream seemed like one of those
The ones I don't trust
Anymore……
The woman in the dream I didn't trust

Her partner seemed ok
But she was in control
Why were we there in that dark place?
I have no Idea
Why were we there in that dark street going for a walk and what for?
I have no Idea…

When I woke up I had the worst headache of my life
As well as stomach ache
'What did I eat before I slept?"
I kept asking my self
"I have a splitting headache and stomach ache"
'Why?"
'Why?"
No answer…

'What did I eat?"

"Fennel salad with lemon and ololive oil with avocado."
All healthy stuff, they tell me
And a glass of red wine
All healthy stuff
They keep telling me
Then why this headache?
I didn't trust the woman of my dream
'But why the headache?"
Because I am going to encounter people like that all day long."