AWFUL DREAM CONTINUES

AWFUL DREAM CONTINUES

He was playing a doctor
She was playing a nurse
I was….
I was?
I forget
I was playing something
I was playing a leading lady
A patient?
No
A leading lady
A mental patient
No
A leading lady

But what was the character of the leading lady?
I forget
I know
I was playing something
A somebody
An important somebody

Its very important to play a somebody
An important somebody
So I was playing that some one
That somebody….
And then some one dies

Dies in the dream
In that awful dream
That awful dream which comes every night
Every night without fail
It comes every night

Then some one is being taken away from their apartment
Apartment full of colorful clothes…..
It seems like Marilyn Monero
But it wasn't
She was some one else

Maybe Blanche from
Street car named desire
But I couldn't tell
I know it was a woman
Who was being taken away

I couldn't really see her fully
But I saw a shadow
A shadow of a woman
Standing and watching her own demise
While all her colorful clothes were being thrown out

And she , her shadow was watching all her colorful clothes being thrown away

I didn't see them taking her away
The dream shifted to another scenario
I was told that the doctor was dead
I was told as if the actor who was playing

the doctor was dead
It seems like we were in a play
What part was I playing?
I don't know
But I was for sure playing some role
Without any title
And that seemed like a problem
Because there was no title
Title of the role I was playing

My role was tittles
But I was playing it
I know I was
Because I was getting ready for it
Getting dressed
I was in an attic
And I used to just fall from the attic
Through a sliding pipe right down below

Below on the stage
Or whatever it was called in the awful dream
But I remember that I couldn't slide down through the pipe
I was struggling
Struggling and holding on to something
And that something I was holding on to

Was leaving my grip
My grip was becoming weaker and weaker
And I was hearing that the doctor was dead
He had a heart attack or something
And he was dead

I thought that the show will be cancelled
But then I saw the nurse, some one, a woman playing the nurse
Coming along in a white nurse;s uniform
So I knew that the show was not cancelled
And I knew that I had to come down on to the stage

It seems like every one was ready except me
Me and the doctor who was dead
And while I was trying to slide down the chimney
Or whatever its as that I was sliding down from
And I remembered that it used to be very smooth

Sliding down the chimney
Right on the stage
And all of a sudden I couldn't do it today
And then I found another way
I didn't fall right on the stage like usual
But I got stuck somewhere in between

From where I would ave to be taken down by someone
And then on to the staircase
And then on to the stage
But there was no one there
No one to get me unstuck
And take me down on to stage

And all of a sudden I remember what part I was playing
And before I got anywhere I suddenly forgot again
Forgot the part I was playing
The lines…..
I mean
The lines
Won't come to me
Neither the beginning, nor the end

No nothing
No beginning and no end
No words
Maybe I was playing a silent part
Maybe I wasn't playing a partBut why was I here?

Maybe I was a stage manager
But I wasn't
Because stage managers don't get dressed before the play begins
They come to the theater already dressed up
Only actors dress
Only actors get ready before e the curtain

And then I thought of the shadow of the lady who was
taken away
Perhaps I was that lady
The shadow of that lady
The lady who was taken away

But I must not be that lady who was taken away
Because I was still here
And she was taken away
And II was still here….
But where?
Where was I?

Why the doctor died?
And who will take his part?
If the play is still going on
Someone will have to take that part
For the play to go on
Maybe I will take that part

Part of the doctor
I  was a doctor in real life
Yes?
Yes.
And then/
Then I was not?
So your life wasn't real then?

What do you mean?
I mean that you were a doctor and then you were not
It doesn't seem real
No that part was real
Me playing the doctor on stage is not real

Are you playing the doctor?
I don't know but the real doctor is dead
Is there a real doctor here?
Who is sick?
I meant the doctor in the play
The actor who was playing the doctor is dead

There is no doctor here
We are all players
What part are you playing?
I don't know
You don't?
No I don't
So how can you play a part when you don't know
What part are you playing?

I know.  That is the problem
If I am playing the doctor
Them I have to begin with the different lines
Different than the leading lady
Who is the leading lady?
I am not sure

But I think the lady they took away
Which lady?
The lady who had too many colorful clothes
Why did they take her away?
I don't know
I think they didn't like her clothes

You mean the costume?
Yes, the costume.
But how come they didn't like the costume
While its them who gave it to her.
I know its strange
Nothing makes any sense
Theater is strange any way

You are playing a part
And you don't know the part
You don't know the lines
Thats all you have to do in the theater
Know your lines
And once you are down the chimney onto the stage
You have to spit out those lines as fast as possible

Or as slow as possible
It all depends on the director
Some day he says."YOu were too fast with the lines."
Some day he says,' You were too slow with the lines."
'Pick it up."
"You are dropping it."
He says

"What am I dropping?"
"Onions?"
Are we selling vegetables?
No, we are vegetables
Soaking wet, limping, dead vegetables

"Places"
Some one shouts
"I am definitely in a play"
No one says, "Places" otherwise
I am in a play
And I have no idea
What part am I playing?

What's my first line?
What's my first line?
What's my first line?

I panic
Panic is the beginning of terror
I panic
If I remember the first line the rest will come
If a  good actor was around he would help me
Bring my memory around
Give me around
Give me a hint for me to remember
Then I would remember
Then I would go on

Go on with the play
But there is no good actor around
They are all parrots
They repeat their lines like parrots
Every evening
No memory of any one else's lines

No.  No memory of any other players lines
Thats a bad actor
Who doesn't know other actors lines
Good actors learn the whole script
They know every one's lines
Thats how they help each other

I must be a bad actor
I don't even remember my own lines
But my case is different
I suffer from amnesia
At-least right now
In my nightmare
I have amnesia in my nightmare

Maybe my dream is about that I develop amnesia in my dream and don't remember
anything
But the terror of the dreams is that you don't know that its a dream
So you must know that you have amnesia
As an actor
And that frightened you

No the death of the doctor frightened me
Now we lost an actor
And he was a good one
He was a real good actor
He would have helped me remember my lines
The doctor died
Now who is going to cure us?
Who is going to cure me?
If the doctor was alive they would have never
Taken the shadow of the lady away'That beautiful
Lady with colorful clothes

Perhaps she was playing Blanche
Perhaps she was Blanche
And her being taken away made me forget all my lines
Why did they take her away?
She was mad
Who says so?
The playwright

The playwright in his play said that Blanche was mad
And was taken to a mental institution
Oh!  My!  I am glad I am not in that play
How do you know?
How do you know?
How do you know?

I know
What do you know?
I know I am not in that play
Then you must be mad in real life
But I was having an awful dream
Maybe in your dream you were mad

And in my life?
I don't know
You don't know?
No, I don't
Why not?
Because its you who is mad

You need to know
You need to know yourself
I have known for years
But I didn't want to hurt your feelings
Your dreams are now telling you what I never told you
Listen to your dreams

Listen to your awful dreams
All the answers lie in your own dreams