COMEDY NIGHT LIVE CONTINUES

Now I have to become my own servant.  Like mother used to say,"Beware

of your fate...You could have been them."  Now I am one of them.  I am my own servant.  I have to

make my own tea..."Necessity is the mother of invention."

I heard this sentence before but I don't know who said it....

Dale Carnagie perhaps....

Who is Dale Carnagie?

He wrote self help books....

Oh! the one every immigrant child reads before they immigrate...

Yes, that one....

He says its up to you to make it and in America if you want you can really make it.

You invent your goals, needs, desires and you move on and achieve but its only possible in America

and no other country

So all those children who read Dale Carnagie,s books dream America all day long and all night long

and one day they somehow make it to America and do the construction work if they are lucky or just

get arrested by being illegal.

Oh! Well thats not a very good self help book, is it?

It didn't tell you that you would just go to jail or hang up tied to a rope on the 90th floor of

building cleaning windows when the temperature is below zero and drop dead by falling on the ground or drop dead by freezing to death.

Gee thats not a very healthy self help scenario....No its not.

One has to get to Harvard to have a job which is indoors.

And if you are with US Senate, thats also an indoor job and if you have those jobs you neither

fall off a high rise or freeze to death.

Dale Carnagie didn't clear that up for sure. Dale wasn't talking about the rich kids of rich corrupt

leaders of the 3rd World who could get to Harvard without a sweat....All stolen money....

Dale was talking about the poor kids, Piss poor but ambitious with desires and determination but

no fucking money.....

Dale was always telling them that Lincoln was the son of a carpenter and look he ended up

becoming the president of USA.

Yes, Dale said that.  I even read that and I think my reason to come to USA was that particular

sentence.

'Even if you are the son of a carpenter you can become the president."

'Lets go to America man....What are we doing here in the country of disease, Cholera, Flies, broken

roads, no heat, no electricity"

'Lets go and become the president or a star"

I also read  that if you are a carpenter you can become a star.

Like you come to build the bookshelves or shelves in the kitchen and the superstar producer who lives

in that house watches your handsome physique, your biceps and your triceps, he can think, "OH!

this young man can be an actor in my film, an actor who builds shelves and you become an instant star.

And that happened to Harrison Ford when he was building shelves in Steven Spielberg's house....

"See it can happen but only in America....."

Thats what Dale Carnagie said.

And you come to America and look for Steven Spielberg,s house and then you look for Dale's house a

and find none of those houses and if you are lucky, you find a job cleaning windows and die and move

on.....

You come here to move on because every one else is moving on...

"Move on you bitch, move on.  You are so God damned slow and blocking my way, move on and

fuck you bitch."

But you see if you a woman you can,t be on the high rise cleaning windows....Because its a man's job

You have to be a man like jesus christ and like harrison Ford and Steven Spielberg and Dale Carnagie

They are all full fledged men....

So I guess the self help book's advice was not for a woman.

And I fucking read all those books and came here looking for all those positive, successful

determined minds but ended up on the busy side walks where every Tom, Dick and Harry is

crushing your ribs to death.

I love this sentence also.  "Every Tom, Dick and Harry."

I read that also somewhere before I came here.

See the damage of reading.............

And I read and read and I am so damaged.

Got retired without ever having a job.

That's actually brilliant.

'Hey, I am reading books because I am retired."

"Retired from what?"

'Retired from nothing." "And go fuck yourself too and tell me how many people can do that?"

Only a smart immigrant....a smart smart immigrant woman.

Every Tom, Dick and Harry is bothering me as if I am an Identity thief.  I am me...honey...I am me...

Still an immigrant, still un-employed and now retired and now reading  CAMUS AND SARTRE...

No Tom, Dick and Harry should be allowed to bother me.

Thats not part of an American dream.

American dream is to not let any one bother you...Instead you have to bother them.

Like mayor Koch said, "I don't get ulcers, I give them."

Well that was a man.  A man amongst men. Upfront, unafraid moving on.

But I keep moving on with headaches, mine and other battered, damaged humans...

and I don't even have a fucking tea bag........

MUSIC, LIGHTS FADE, END OF THE SCENE