COMEDY NIGHT LIVE CONTINUES"

DR MANSOORA ON THE PHONE:

DR MANSOORA:

What?

What did you say?

Speak up, I can't hear you....

I can't hear you...

Oh! you can't speak?

He broke your jaw again?

Didn't he break your jaw last week/

How many jaws do you have darling?

Oh! Ok, Last week, he broke your wrist...

I see....

He breaks something every week...

He thinks your body parts are cheap dinner plats made in China....

China ...I said,

China....

No, no, I am not from China....

You know I am not from China...

I am your mental health Dr who treats abused women....

You know me...I am also your self help guru....

You can't hear me either?

What?  Did he smash your ears also?

He did....

Now your ribs are broken,

Your spleen is ruptured,

Your jaw is broken...

Where are you from?  Another planet?

Are you American?

Why am I asking when I know it already?

Because honey I want to remind you that you are an American....

You don't have to take the beating from your abuser, wife beater husband....

You can call the police....

Have you ever heard of 911?

Call the police...

Thats what police is for so you can call them when your husband beat the shit

out of you....

You want me to call?

Oh! NO.  You don't want me to call...

I am your self help guru...

Its my duty to call 911....

What did you say?

What?

Can't hear you...

Speak up...

Oh! you don't want me to call the police either....

You don't call...I don't call...You want to live with broken bones?

OH! YOU LOVE HIM....YOU LOVE HIM...

(Covers the phone and says it out loud)

She loves him....

She doesn't want him to go to jail....

Ok, keep him handy to break the rest of your bones but you have to pay me before you die....

Business is business....

How do you want me to pay my rent?

No, I don't live in Bushwick....

I live in Manhattan....

In the East Village....

And my office?

Where is my office?

In my house...(covers the phone, speak out loud)  In my shit hole....

Who can afford an apt and an office in Manhattan with patients like you who are on the verge of death

without paying me.....

My rent for my East Village apt was $75 and now its $4 thousand and seventy five....

all my patients are battered and damaged and they croke befiore I get the God damned check...

Oh! you don't have any money left for me?

Your darling husband bled you dry...

Great, just great...(Covers the phone)  And she still doesn't want to call the police...

Darling listen, your time is up....Yes its up....Your time....

So take a shit or get off the pot."  Its an American sentence....you must have heard of it....

You are American right?  And you have never heard of it?

Jesus....I am an Immigrant and even I know this one even when I suffer from

chronic constipation I still have to get off the pot...Shit or no shit....

Get up...kick him in the balls....save your remaining bones....

Oh! you love him....

Listen honey your time is up....

I have an appointment with my next damaged patient....

You can make love with him as much as you want ...that is if you can even pull your pants down

with your broken wrist...but I have to go.....Mail my check....I don't care from where...

Tell your husband to go rob a bank... He will go to jail and I will get my check. and you

will eventually get rid of him without you ever calling the police....

Didn't I tell you I am a great self help guru?

I trained with Deepak Mehta.....Deepak Mehta....The guru for the stars....Good night...

(Hang up the phone)  She has never heard of Deepak Mehta....the God of self help....

Poor thing is not very  awake....snd drifting into a coma of stupid love....sad...so so...sad....

MUSIC, LIGHTS FADE, END OF THE SCENE.

Your jaw is broken