COMEDY NIGHT LIVE CONTINUES

DR MANSOORA ON THE PHONE:

DR MANSOORA:

Why do you need this husband of yours?

This abuser...

Wife beater...

Oh! he gets your prescription drugs from the pharmacy

But if you leave him you won't need the prescription drugs.

He is your disease. Get rid of the disease.  You won't need drugs

after that....

Time is up...Talk to you next week.

Too short a session?

Not my fault

You said, you were taking Xanax naps.  I waited for 40 minutes

without making one cent.  That was your hour and you slept through it.

But its good for you the sleep I mean...No not Xanax.  Try to sleep without

it tomorrow afternoon..ok...ok..I need to get off...Good night...Don't

let the husband bite....

MUSIC, LIGHTS FADE, END OF SCENE

NEXT SCENE:

DR MANSOORA ON THE PHONE:

DR MANSOORA:

Listen darling, there is no order in life, no happiness, no love.  Just chaos.

Get used to it.  Do the best you can.

My life is worst than you.

I listen to your complaints and we come up to no solution

You don't send me a check and I have no food either.

A doctor who died of starvation and poverty.

A doctor, (Mental illness doctor) and (Counsel for domestic violence)

has nothing but social conscious.

Who cares for social conscious.

I need roasted Goose....

I need scones with Devenshire  cream

I need roasted bone marrow.

Good energetic fatty food they are all eating in Denmark

Its called, "PALEAO DIET"

I should have that diet and write a book

Yes, thats what I should do....

The title of my book will be...

"I AM MY OWN BIOGRAPHY."

Actually I should write that book and you too

You should write your own book

That would be a good idea.

Some one asked Ghandi once

"What do you think of Western Civilization?"

And he said,"That would be a good idea."

I just gave you a million dollar Idea...

Write that book, make a million dollars

Get rid of the trouble maker from your life

And go out to eat Roasted Goose.  Good night now....

GETS OFF THE PHONE

CALL FOR HER ASSISTANTS

Jerry?

Thomas?

Jerry?

Thomas?

Where are you guys?

Oh! Shit, they went out to eat ...

How can they eat out?

I haven't paid them yet...

And on top of that they went out to eat without me...

I hate that.....

LIKE GLEN CLOSE FROM FATAL ATTRACTION SHE SAYS,

" I AM NOT GOING TO BE IGNORED"

MUSIC, LIGHTS FADE, END OF SCENE

NEXT SCENE:

DR MANSOORA GOES OUT AND FIND THEM IN A BISTRO AROUND THE CORNER

A SMALL COFFEE TABLE, THREE CHAIRS, JERRY, THOMAS AND MANSOORA

SITTING

DR MANSOORA:Its actually not entirely women fault. Society aggressively assaults women.

JERRY:

Mostly in the 3rd World countries.

THOMAS:

Our country is becoming a 3rd World country also. (looking at Mansoora, he says to Jerry)

She is treating abused women here in NY, not in Timbuktoo

JERRY:

Of course,There is some abuse here also but none like the other countries

MANSOORA:

I had a patient here in NY.  She was an abused wife.  She was very rich

but had an awful life with him and then had a horribly tragic death.

Her tragic moment in life began when she met him and that moment ruined her.

I almost feel guilty for not being able to help her but hey...........

JERRY:

Why don't you take a break from this depressing therapy sessions and concentrate

on our comedy show.  We have been studying with you for so long  and still haven't

done one show yet.....My wife is getting tired of my long training program....

MANSOORA:

(To Thomas)

Jerry's wife beat him up once in a while.....

THOMAS:

Mine too.

MANSOIRA:

Jesus, how does she manage?  You are so tall.

THOMAS:

Thats the beauty of it, she is so short that her head reaches my balls and she hit me on my

balls with her head....Very easy.....

MANSOORA:

Why don;'t you both become my patients?  I usually deal with women but you

are also victims of violence...

THOMAS:

We don't want to be victims.  We want to be comedians.

MANSOORA:

But you are not ready yet.

JERRY:

Neither are you....

MANSOORA:

But at least I am an immigrant Phyllis Diller

THOMAS:

And I am Thomas Mitchell

JERRY:

And I am Jerry Lewis

MANSOORA:

And I am the sister of Audrey Hepburn...

THOMAS:

See we have enough material already... We are raedy.

MANSOORA:

And if we Arn't, we will just keep apologizing to the audience.

We will keep saying. "Sorry"  "We are so sorry" "So so sorry, we are so sorry, we don't have a show."

"So sorry"  "So very sorry."

(They all laugh)

JERRY:

Where is the waiter?

THOMAS:

(Becomes the waiter and says)

THOMAS"

So sorry, so very sorry, so so sorry, we don't have your favorite goose today. Sorry, so sorry.

JERRY:  (To the waiter)

Bring us some thing else, such as bone marrow...

THOMAS:

So sorry.  We don't have that either.  Sorry, so sorry.

MANSOORA:

Bring us whatever you have....

THOMAS:

We don't have anything sir...Sorry, so sorry, so so sorry....

JERRY:

This cafe is just like our comedy show.....

MANSOORA:  (To the make vbelieve waiter Thomas)

Don't worry, we also don't have our comedy show and we call ourselves comedians

And they have no food and they call it a bistro...No one has anything...

All is fake, all is fiction, nothing is real except the hunger....

MUSIC, LIGHTS FADE, END OF SCENE.

NEXT SCENE AT THE MANSOORA'S APT...



LIGHTS