AFTER THE ABSENCE

Now that you have been gone for a while

Your absence is no longer a source of anguish

It never was actually

You were the source

The source of all pain and heartache

Now that you are gone that pain has diminished

Has another pain taken its place ?

That is not the question to be answered

That question should not even be asked

What's the definition of ,"Pain." any way ?

And why things should be defined ?

Nothing is ever clear anyway

Hazy is the horizon

Life is that cloud which hangs all over the planet

People dying for the sun light

And when it appears for a short while before the dark

They all take their clothes off and lie in the park

On the same spot where the dogs peed a moment before

There are more dogs than people under the cloudy horizon

All owners of the dogs stop to pet each other's dogs

"Oh, how cute ?"  "Oh, how cute."  they gush with love and admiration

And a certain human being pass by and they get so stiffen up and angry and miserable as

if the sky has fallen over their backs and crushed them

They totally abhor humans....

Humans of all kind and color, especially color....

They can love all ugly dogs, "OH, how cute."  Cute my rear end...

Lets face it, not every body's dog is cute....

And side walks are now full of dogs, babies and their carriages,

cell phone talkers, skate board walkers and miserable dog owners...

Every one is screaming on the cell, "Where are you ?"  "I don't see you, where are you ?"

"Are you blind ? "  I am right across the street, on the corner out side the grocery store."

"Oh, you are there...I see you.  Where are we going ?  Oh, no I don't like that restaurant,

can we go some place else ?"

Now how important is this conversation for all of us the rest of the miserable

so called, "Human race ? "   They are one second away from seeing each other...

Why do they have to scream at each other from two street corners about the

choice of the restaurant they are going to go to and who cares where they go

or don't go.....

I wish they were all absent from the street corner which is now like a

tourist's coney Island with its fancy Japanese sushi....

'Hey guys, sushi is old fashioned already...move on to the roasted pig...."

Pig makes the absence of a lover or a husband or a neighbor.....

Did I say the word neighbor ?

Who the hell care about that word any more....

That word should be deleted from the dictionary

'Neighbor ? "  My ass....................

Thats one good thing about this country....

You can shut your door, slam it on the God damned neighbor...

Back home the neighbors were always bothering you for food, for love, for company

"Now which party are you going to ?"  They will ask, "Is this the new dress ?"  "What time are you coming home ?"  You came home very late last night ? "

Thank god no neighbor asks that question....

There is no neighbor here, no neighbor exists...I shut the door on him and her and her dog....

No neighbor exists...

I just hear the dog barking whom I am cursing non stop....

But at least the dog doesn't interfere with my life

He just barks, barks and barks all night

I think the dog is un-happy

Like the neighbor

The dog is Un happy

That's why the dog is barking all night

But at least the neighbor doesn't ask all those questions

The neighbor just looks angry and miserable

And so do you, "You look angry and miserable all the time."

"But that's good, I am now completely Western.

Western and miserable....

Why every one ?  Ok...Almost everyone is un happy looking today ?

Because their life is missing...its absent, the life is absent....

But they are going to the restaurant....restaurants are packed.....

Life is not sitting in a restaurant to be found

So where is life ?  In a theater ?

No, not there either, theater life is a make believe life.....

So actors have a life ?

On stage, for two hours, if they are lucky, they have a life, a fake life....

And where is life ?

Life is missing, life is absent....

"Since you are gone."  You think they are saying this to a lover ?  No way....

They are talking to the missing, absent life on the cell phone...

They are rushing about hitting you and me in the streets with their dogs

talking on the cell phone to the absent life......

"'I don't miss you, you bitch."  "Since you left me, why should I miss you ?  "No, I don't miss you...you are not absent, you are dead bitch."  "Get out of my life."

"I did.....I am absent, am I not ?  You talked about my absence in the first line of your thought

I am missing, I am absent and I am still in your thought and you are looking for me in the street filled with dogs and angry people.....Screaming....."After your absence I am pretty happy."

Who are they kidding ?  And why are they running back and forth to the cafe ? to the movie ?To the Whole food  with their ugly looking dogs whom they all pet and drool over.....

While the life keeps its absence felt constantly like a lover who suddenly has left without a word.....

"After you left...."

"After the absence of your presence...."

"After you left....."