THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

The room was full of people
Mostly women
It was a center of some kind
Not a shelter
But some kind of fancier a place
It was called, 'NOMAD"

Just from the name I could assume
In my sleep that its a kind of place
Where women, clever women can get some kind of help
If they know how to approach the subject right

I wonder why I was there
Neither am I so clever
Nor have I ever gotten any kind of monetary help
Or any ind of help especially from women
But I was there nevertheless
Because if nothing else I am smart
I knew that even in my sleep
So people use my brilliance of all kinds
To help others who are much more manipulative than me...
Cunning for sure
People are so cunning
Not all of them
But most of them are cleverly cunning
That sound more positive than just being cunning
So I was there
I wonder why?
But I knew in my dream that I wasn't getting any money
Or any other kind of support
I just support others
People sugar coat me with sweet talk and
I like a fool that I am just do whatever is required of me to do

'Are you paying me for this by any chance?
Once in a while I gather my courage to ask them
'Don't you have an Inheritance from back home?"
They say
'What?"
'Arn't you an artist with inheritance?"
They think I am from Doris Duke family
It has happened so often that I have completely stopped asking for money of any kind
From any one...........
I just do the volunteer work
Without being a volunteer.

I hate the word, "Volunteer"
People say, "After I retire I am going to do some volunteer work to keep busy."
"ARE YOU GOING TO DO SOME VOLUNTEER WORK AFTER YOU RETIRE?"
What a joke
And its not so funny
I tell funnier jokes even in my sleep
Since Bill Cosby is retiring, too tired from you know what
They should hire me on NBC or ABC
To fill the gap
I will be better than Bill
Because I am not going to rape women....
Women are safe with me
Thats why I was at that women center called, NOMAD
To help some downtrodden, unfortunate woman in need
I might have just left that center and helped myself
But as usual I stayed....

And lo and behold
One of the woman, a very beautiful and actually stunning woman
Little bit darker, as if she was from the Islands or so
Started to sob and tell all of us how she needs help
Help with money
What else?
DON'T WE ALL NEED HELP WITH MONEY?
What a simplistic statement
So she was sobbing and telling us some tragic story
And the lady in charge told her that she is going to talk to the boss
about her dilemma........

Then the scene in the dream changed
Now we are out doors
Not every one
But some of us
I am sitting on a bench near the courtyards wall and I noticed that
Exotic lady who was crying earlier is sitting on the opposite side of me
She was wearing a black dress with a llow neck
As low as it can get
And a man comes out
Supposedly he is the boss of Nomad
And he stands behind her bench
From where he can see her boobs throughly and completely

And he greets her not with words
But with a kiss
Kiss not on the cheek or any other place
But kiss at her bosom
Imagine that!
I utter those words in my sleep
He for sure will help her
I said to myself
And she would for sure help him
Thats how you get the money
Not with a resume
But with bosoms..............

He leans all over her still standing behind the bench and whisper
Some delicious words in her ears and she lights up
Like the lightning in the sky before the storm.....

Then the scene changes agin
This one is a long dream and pretty coherent
Usually I don't remember my dreams
I don't want to because most of them are awful dreams
But this one I remembered while I woke up because
first of all its not so awful so far and second it has romance brewing in it
Or at least sex is being promised
Thats something in this day and age where people are only
having sex with their iphone

;Can I look at your lover inside your phone?"
I said to one of my so called friend
Every one calls every one a friend while a friend is so hard to find these days
But I have been looking for a friend since I arrived at the Elis Island
and Haven't found one yet
But the beauty of the struggle of any kind is that eventually you don't
really need or care for the thing you have been struggling for
And that doesn't mean, "Given up."
Like the most modern world says, "Oh! you have given up."
'Yes, you are right.  I have given up.  For sure given up on you, you the lier of the hour."

"Can I look at your lover inside your phone?"
I repeated myself
I love repeating thats why I am not published
I am not Gertrude stein
Some people can repeat and repeat and repeat but they own art salons in Paris
And have Picasso there on the wall plus in person
I am just trying to have this so called friend with iphone to take her eyes off the damn phone
She still insists that she loves me
So why the fuck you can't take your eyes off off that stupid instrument in your hand
But I digress
Lets forget her
She is a woman of no importance
If Oscar Wilde had not written that play called," Woman of no importance."
I would give this woman, my friend the title
The lady like title,  "A WOMAN OF NO IMPORTANCE."
And that would be the end of the story
See how easy it is to just wipe off people from your slate?
Its like a black board with white chalk and a piece of cloth or even a napkin
Thats why no painter ever painted  on a black board
Everything is erasable on a black board
I am going to have my mind just like a black board and erase
all people of no importance instantly
They were only the figures drawn with white chalk on a black board.............

See how wonderful a treatment I have come upon just by talking to you...
No planning of going to a doctor to find out what to do with all that rubbish
I myself have found the solution to just wipe them off from the blackboard
Blackboard of your mind...............
Their images and their sincerity was of white chalk on a blackboard
I just wiped it off
Now everything and every body is of no importance to me.....................
They were of no importance anyway but I gave them too much Importance
But it just occurred  to me what to do with them
And in an instance they are just gone, disappeared for ever................

So since I am much healthier now let me go back to my dream
So where was I?

Ok, he just whispered something in her ear and she lit up
I guess he promised her money
Wasn't that what she was asking earlier in the room full of women?
Yes, I remember, she was asking for money..............

Then the scene changes again
This is for sure like a movie
Some one should steal this material and make a movie
Since this is on the internet and people steal right and left and with my skills on the internet
I would never know....and the assholes will never give me credit or mention my name ever
Its happened before but hell, let them steal and be somebody because at the end no body is any body......
All will vanish from the face of this miserable world and the fame will vanish too because the other
art thieves will become famous for a while and then die too.....

All right, we are all going to do but lets finish the dream since its been a long time
That I have written about them....
Because the moment I go to pee they all vanish
The dreams are like famous people who stole from others ideas and then vanished...
But strangely enough I do remember the ending of this dream but some how or the other I am unable to get to it today....
The thoughts, my thoughts keep scattering into my stream of consciousness like the singing birds...
Yes, I have birds, lots of birds, cages and cages full of birds who sing to me..............

Any one who steals this scenario and write a screen play out of it please be sure to have lots of birds in the film like Hitchcock's BIRDS but not evil birds but sweet colorful birds like mockingbirds....

In the net scene we are all outside in the street...
The beautiful woman and the boss of the institute named, NOMAD  are standing near a garbage container with a huge , I mean huge blue garbage bag....
There are some other men with them also who are helping the boss and the lady to discard somethings
Into the garbage container in the street
The blue garbage bag is so stuffed that I guess they are trying to lighten it so its easy for them to carry or whatever....
I am not clear about the reason why  they are doing it but they keep putting stuff in the container
Bags after bags are going inside the city garbage container....

At this point I notice three cops standing on the opposite side of this very busy street
and all of a sudden a cops notice this activity and let it continue without any interruption.

So lots of stuff is out of the blue bag and then comes out an other blue bag, a huge bag
that bag is full of cash, I mean brand new notes and thousands of them one can feel
the enormity of heaviness of stolen money even in a dream and I felt it so completely
and then.....that bag full of cash is the only bag which goes back into the original bag,
Of course they don't throw the money in the garbage container, of course not, only the other rubbish
which was hiding the money beneath the rubbish....................

At that very moment the cops move in with their guns drawn
And you know what happens when the guns are drawn by the cops.............
Cops move in and the criminals are stunned.....
How silly to be stunned to say the least............

But in my dream I am unable to figure it out why were they doing this in the street
during the bright sunlight of a sunny day throwing trash in a city garbage container
when they had tons of stolen money on them......
I couldn't figure that out while I was asleep dreaming
And then It seemed like I was back in the center again trying to explain my difficulty
to some of the people......
"But how could you be so stupid to expose the stolen money right in the middle of the street
with tons of traffic and millions of people walking back and forth>
I mean how could you be so stupid?
You can't be stupid while you have been so smart at the same time to lay your hands on so much money for so long and now you are doing all that in the street...................

Is this a movie or my dream?
It can't be my dream
Even the dreams have some logic
These things can only happen in a movie....
So this was a movie
Oh! gee, some one had already stolen my script and made a movie while I was sleeping
and dreaming about it.
People are so ahead of me
The internet is working after all
The so called girl friend of mine was not having sex with a lover inside of her iphone, she was making a movie of my material right in front of me..............
She stole my script while I was wide awake sitting next to her still asleep.....................dreaming
dreaming if birds singing in my movie, the movie I will make some day of my words, my own
very hauntingly beautiful words while she already had the copyright...............
She was a thief like all those people who stole all that money who got caught but I woke up before
I could have the pleasure of seeing her behind bars...............................