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"To live diplomatically with all kinds of people including
loved ones and relatives:

"One praised all that might be praised and one excused all that might be blamed."

'Popularity brings boldness of judgement." ?

"She lent some of her own character to her friends without realizing it."

"Often by a charming sleigh of hand, a person's defects
were transformed into virtues."?

LOVE, NEVER ENDING, DISTURBING LOVE

I loved all of them more than they were able to love me,
I guess I was more able in love and generosity os spirit.

But Deedi did love me and my parents too.
Ar was also very loving
Cuk was just too  spoiled
S was less loving because of many other circumstances and
faults of my own
N said, "That she loved but who knows. It was mixture of gossip
and back biting.
H loved but did not express much.
So they did love you. most of them.
So your hurt is more from her C?
I guess so.....

But they have no obligation to love you...
They are not of your parent's born.
It would have been nice but its not the case any more.
They are some one else's children.
Just accept it. and just be decent and and polite about it
and with them and with yourself too.
Thats how you have to be from now on.
Expect nothing from no one actually...............
...............

"Without realizing it, I acquired a sharp
contempt for everything."
......

'Leave them alone....
These three sisters.
If they contact you, you contact them back.
Be polite, decent, un-complaining.....
....

"All my future was a smile of approval on any one's lips
starting with my family--transferring to the approval of establishment."  BS
....

"My future was not mine.
It was others.
It entirely belonged to others approval."   BS
.......

'I had no goal in life-no plan,
so I allowed my thoughts to wander where they would."
.......

'Extensive reading exercises my imagination."

MY MISTAKEN VIEW OF EXISTENCE

"THAT SOME ONE, MY LOVED ONES (FAMILY)
WOULD FIND A WAY TO MAKE ME HAPPY
AND IN THE NEW WORLD SOME AUTHORITY
 WOULD APPROVE OF ME AND MAKE
ME HAPPY."          BS
.......

ACCOMPLISHMENT

I have the sense and accomplishment of love, grief,
despair in me but not of triumph.   BS
.....

'She was a source of amusement for the rich.  She was always a comedian."

......"A chance heard conversation dropped the scales
from my eyes." ?????
.....

"Maybe she will rise above her fate."   From Urika
.....

'She has entered society without its permission."   Urika
.....

"Its too much to think about the past and its effects on my
present and my future."    BS