A GESTURE

Yes, I take them with me to the cafe....

My dead parents I mean.......

They sit quietly and I order for them.

My mother drinks Darjling tea and

my father wants to try the Western coffee.

I asked him if he wants American coffee or

a cappuccino.....

He wants American coffee.

He is proud of American coffee and of America....

After all this is where his daughter made

a big, wide, fabulous career for herself....

So I order an American coffee with milk, hot milk I emphasis.....

The waiter is sick of me and my request of hot milk always.

"Where do these junglies come from"?

He must wonder.

Its boiling hot outside and she always insist on hot, hot, hot, extra hot

milk.........

Poor thing she must be so cold

Or she must not have any hot blood in her at all..............

Both I guess....

Totally freezing in this heat.....

The air conditioning seeps through my bones

"'Its very cold in here"

My father says

'Yes, Its so cold...I didn't think of carrying my shawal in 90 degrees weather>"

My nother says

'Thats when you carry a shawal mother, when its 90 degrees

also a sweater and a coat maybe............"

I say to my mother

'You always carry shawals, sweaters, sneakers, jackets, backpacks

in this country." "YOu carry your luggage with you in case

you don't want to come back home".

'Why?"

My mother asks

'In case you decide to go traveling and never come back home."

I say

"LIke you."

My mother says

After that no one talks.....

we just sip tea or coffee or whatever we are sipping

in a Western cafe with Eastern dead people. We keep sipping

whatever slowly, very slowly without talking.....

and the evening takes over and the light outside changes.....

"We have to go."

My father says to my mother

'Where are we going?"

My mother asks him

'Home"

They are going home

"Can she come too.?"

My mother asks

'No. Not yet........."

My father says

Where is she going to go?"

My mother asks my father about me

'She has her own home here."

My father says to my mother.

'She has her own home here...thats why she left."

After that they quietly get up and leave the cafe............

while I am still sitting there...................

Home.....home...home...home?

Career...career...career?

Once I had both

and my parents

and the court yard and

the sun

and the mangoes

and the chamli flowers............

and ny childhood

and the dream

the dream, dreams actually, many dreams, many, many dreams..............