AND THATS HOW IT GOES

Around and around

In my head

The same sound,  the same noise.  the same image

By the time I want to concentrate on it and make some sense of it

It goes around and around in circles

Of past,  present and the future

Now these are big issues,

The past

The present

The future

It seems like all is past

Past and only Past,

The present went along un-noticed

The Idea of the future is scary

Yes,  every one has their scars

Yes,

But the worry is about mine

Mine and only mine

Scars....

Its a scab,  if its seen

If its not,  its a scar within

Some superficial scars can be visible

Everything is visible and non visible

Cafe will save the soul

Thanks for the cafe

Which cafe ?

I have no idea...

Cafes don't save scars

They just hide them for an hour

By the time you reach the apt

the scars come out like roaches

running around fast from direction to direction

As if in competition with each other

Every one is in competition

Humans and roaches

Or they are the same ?

How come there are still roaches running around ?

The cleaning lady doesn't do such a good job

How many times I have bought her that scary looking bug spray...

I hope no one spray that at me

Every human being thinks the other is a roach

and they want to squash them under their feet on the side walks

" Excuse me,  you just hit me on my shoulder."

"Oh,  actually I wanted to squash you under my feet."

He murmurs....

"Excuse me ...what did you say ?"

'Nothing lady,  mind your own buisness lady."

"MInd my own buisness...mind my own buisness...you just took my

shoulder out of its socket and I should mind my own buisness ?"

'Yes,  actually,  mind your own buisness lady,  I wanted to squash you under my feet,

you are one hell of a lucky bitch."

"What did you say ? "

"Stop saying,"What did you say ? and move fast,  you are in NYC...people squash the slow."

After being escaped from the side walk with the aching shoulder now I have to watch

the marathon of the running roaches all over...

Why didn't the cleaning lady sprayed the roaches and killed them all ?  Why the hell do I pay her so much money ?  These God damned immigrants,  can't live with them,can't live without them....

She didn't spray them

She forgot....

Like me

I am forgetful....

Did I have a present ?

A future ?

I forget

Do I have a cleaning lady ?

Do I ?

Now seriously,  do I have a cleaning lady ?

Looking at the parade of roaches it seems like I don't

I don't what ?

I don't have a past,  present,  future...its all go around kind of a film

which plays all day and night...its not real...nothing is real

Its all in circles,  circles of colors and seasons,  mostly winter and cold and aweful grey wet rain

thats nice,  "Aweful wet rain."

Very erotic,  very sexy...wet rain......

Wet rain is for real

And the circles going round and round ?

Hazy,  fuzzy,  foggy,  

Not clear,  just some images as if something did happen

Or maybe didn't happen

All kinds of possibilities are possible

Things happen and at the same time they happen so fast,  so un-expected that it doesn't seem

like they happened at all.

Its like , I can't remember.....

What ?

What can't you remember ?

Do I have a cleaning lady ?