LITTLE BIT FROM THE OLD NOTEBOOKS, NOTE BOOK OF JULY 2013

LITTLE BIT FROM THE OLD NOTEBOOKS, NOTE BOOK OF JULY 2013

I HAVE TO GO TO A CAFE TO THINK.  BS

I WATCHED BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN LAST NIGHT

"LURE OF THE WEST

ATTACHMENT TO HOME

FAMILY

AND

LOVE OF SPICE"   (CONFLICT HAS BEEN CREATED ALREADY). BS

"ONE PART OF LIFE IS FREEDOM

THE OTHER PART IS LOVE OF FAMILY

WARMTH OF THE YOUR OWN HOME

FREEDOM ALONE CHOKE YOU OBLIVION

WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE OTHER PART OF LIFE...

WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE UNFREE

OR THE PART YOU THOUGHT WAS, "UNFREE"

AT THAT TIME.

"VALUE OF A LIFE OF SENSATIONS."  ANNONYMUS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

UGLY DRAWING

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

WHAT DOES THE DRAWING MEANS?

WHO KNOWS

IT'S PRETTY UGLY

I KNOW---I AM INTO UGLY ART THESE DAYS
----------------------------------------------------------------

SHE IS A HOST OF A COMEDY SHOW

SHE INVITES GUESTS ON HER SHOW

GUESTS IMITATES STARS

SUCH AS JERRY LEWIS

JACKI MASON

THOMAS MITCHELL

RICHARD BURTON

NIGHT SCENES:

NIGHTNARES

PRESENCE OF SNAKES

KNIVES
SWORDS
PISTOLS

THREATENING

FATALISTIC NIGHTMARES

COMEDY SHOW HOST IS A CULTURAL CRITIC

DOES A MONOLOGUE ON, "INTERNET DATING"

ORGANIC FOOD

COMMODITY ORGANIC FOOD STORE

GET YOUR MONEY BACK

THE FOOD IS NOT ORGANIC

CHICKEN VERY SMELLY

GO GET THE CREDIT

COOKING

EATING

GO TO DO THE COMEDY SHOW

TRYING TO BE HEALTHY TOD OTHE COMEDY SHOW

BUT NO COMEDY SHOW HAPPENS

ONLY THE NIGHTMARES OF THE NIGHT

INVITATION TO DREAMS

DREAMS TURNING INTO NIGHTMARES

"A MEMORY PLAY"
BY
BINA SHRAIF
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MURDERS

HUSBANDS KILLING WIVES

WIVES KILLING CHILDREN

STUDENTS KILLING STUDENTS

FATHERS KILLING SONS

FATHER KILLING ALL THE CHILDREN,

THE WIFE

AND THEN HIMSELF."

THE END.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

THAT'S CALLED, COMEDY NIGHT LIVE"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

CAFE

NEWS PAPERS

TEA

READ ABOUT THE CURRENT MURDERS

TAKE NOTES FOR FUTURE PROJECTS

HAVE EXPRESSO

TRIALS

PROSECUTORS

DEFENC LAWYERS

DEFFENDENT

THE JUDGE

TAKE NOTES FOR FUTURE PROJECTS

PUT EVERYTHING IN, "COMEDY NIGHT LIVE."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

OBSERVATIONS
------------------------

IT'S  OVER

IT'S ALL OVER

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

DONE AND DUSTED
------------------------------------

FAT WOMEN EATING

EATING DONUTS

GOING DUTCH

FIGHTING OVER THE BILL
--------------------------------------------

WAITRESS PRETTY FIT

GOES TO THE GYM

FOR SURE

AFTER WORK

HUSBAND DOESN'T WORK

WAITRESS SUPPORTS HER HUSBAND

A BIG MISTAKE
-----------------------------------------------------

ALWAYS WAS STANDING AT THE THRESHOLD

OF HIS FORTUNES".   Mozart
-------------------------------------------------

"ABANDON EVERYTHING

AALL GREED

ALL JEALOUSY

COMPETION

ALL MISERY

THEN BEGIN ONLY WITH THE

GREAT DESIRE AND GREAT PASSION."  BS
-----------------------------------------------------------

"ATTEMPT AND NOT THE RESULT

SHOULD BE THE GOAL."  BS
----------------------------------------------------

YOU SHOULD LOVE YOUR WORK

AND HAVE CON
CONVICTION OF YOUR TALENT
__________________________________

MOZART

"ILL AND FULL OF GRIEF"

"I AM AT THE MOMENT SO UTTERLY PENNILESS.  1790, DIED IN 1791
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JUST FORGET IT

LET IT GO

LET IT GO

WHATEVER IT IS

JUST LET IT GO.  BS
-----------------------------------------------

GRIEF

DELAYS

RECOVERY

RECOVERY OF ALL KINDS..BS
--------------------------------------------

"AT PRESENT I AM IN WANT"  ?
---------------------------------------------

"UNHAPPY PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY

THAT NO ONE IS HAPPY."  BS
-------------------------------------------------

"ABANDON YOURSELF?

NOT A GOOD IDEA
----------------------------------------

"NOW A STICK IS MORE SEXY

NOT THE BIG SEXY BEHIND OF MARILYN MONROE" BS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"HE DIED FOR ME."   Joyce, from the dead
----------------------------------------------------------

"INSATIABLE PASSION

TO SEE AND FEEL".  Baudelaire
----------------------------------------------------

"NOTHING IS UNIQUE

EXCEPT THE TRANSITORY".  ?
----------------------------------------------

BAUDELAIRE ASSOCIATE BEAUTY

NOT ONLY WITH THE STANGE

BUT WITH MELANCHOLY AND

HORROR AS WELL
------------------------------------------

N TRAIN TO CORTLAND STREET
----------------------------------------------

"ILLUMINATIONS AND OTHER

PROSE POEMS BY RIMBAUD
------------------------------------------

I WAS ENJOYING MY READING

AND THEN SHE CAME

AND CHATTED LOUDLY ON HER PHONE

FOR AN HOUR

PART OF THE AFTER NOON COMPLETELY WASTED.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I WAS READING,

ILLUMINATIONS AND OTHER PROSE

POEMS BY RIMBAUD
-------------------------------------------------

I WILL GO BACK TO IT TOMORROW

CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH HER SHOUTING

IN MY EARS.
---------------------------------------------------------

ILLUMINATIONS
AND
OTHER PROSE POEMS
BY
RIMBAUD


"IT WOULD TAKE LONGER

FOR THE TURN OF KINDNESS

TO COME AGAIN."

"AMOROUS SADNESS OF THE NIGHT."

"AS FOR ME I WAS ABANDONED

WITHOUT END."

"BUT YOU WILL JUST END UP

SELF SATISFIED WITHOUT HAVING

DONE ANYTHING, NOT HAVING WANTED

TO DO ANYTHING."



"HIS SOUL AND HIS HEART,

ALL HIS STRENGTH, WERE

TAKEN UP WITH ABERRATIONS,

STRANGE AND SAD."


"WHO WILL RECALL THE

CONTINUOUS SLEEP OF THE LEGENDARY

MOHAMMEDANS, BRAVE THOUGH

AND CIRCUMCISED."


"SO ANGUISHED FILLED ME."

"A NAMELESS ANGUISH."
---------------------------------------------

"PLEASE GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD

THE ANGUISH."  BS
--------------------------------


"AND YET ALWAYS

MY EXHAUSTION RETUNED."


"SHE BELONGED TO HER

EVERYDAY LIFE."
---------------------------------------


"ESSENTIAL TO EXIST."   BS
--------------------------------------


"SHE IS NOT INTO ANY OTHER

PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE OR PROTOCOL

OF DECENCY OR REFINEMENT."


"IT WOULD TAKE LONGER FOR

THE TURN OF KINDNESS TO COME AGAIN"
--------------------------------------------------------

"GET YOUR HEAD CLEANSED OF

ALL THIS USELESS NONSENSE AND

READ RIMBAUD.".....BS
-----------------------------------------------

DID NOTHING THE REST OF THE DAY."
-------------------------------------------------------  BS

"GO BACK TO THE PROSE POEMS OF RIMBAUD.  BS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

"AS FOR ME

I WAS ABANDONED

WITHOUT END."

"AMOROUS SADNESS OF THE NIGHT."

"THE STUPIDEST,

ROTTEN,

MEANEST...

I SERVE UP TO THEM."


"BUT YOU WILL JUST END UP SELF-SATISFIED

WITHOUT HAVING DONE ANYTHING,

NOT HAVING WANTED TO DO ANYTHING."


"I WANT TO BE A POET,

AND I AM WORKING TO MAKE

MYSELF A VISIONARY.

TO ARRIVE AT THE UN-KNOWN

THROUGH THE DISORDERING

OF ALL THE SENSES.

TE SUFFERING WILL BE TREMENDOUS

BUT ONE MUST BE STRONG,  BE BORN

A POET, IT IS IN A WAY MY FAULT."


"I IS SOMEONE ELSE"


"I WITNESS THE BIRTH OF MY THOUGHTS,

I LOOK AT IT.  I LISTEN TO IT."


"THE FIRST STUDY FOR A MAN WHO

WANTS TO BE A POET

IS THE ENTIRE  KNOWLEDGE OF HIMSELF"


"ONE MUST, I SAY BE A VISIONARY,

MAKE ONESELF A VISIONARY."


"YOUR INVENTIONS SHOULD BE

 SMELLED,

FELT,

AND

HEARD."


"UNNAMEABLE,

UNUTTERABLE,

INNUMBERABLE

THINGS."


"PERFUMES,

SOUNDS,

COLORS,

THOUGHS,

GRAPPLING THOUGHT

AND PULLING."


"WHEN THE INFINITE

 SERVITUDE OF WOMEN

SHALL HAVE ENDED,

WHEN SHE WILL BE

TO LIVE BY AND FOR HERSELF.

THEN,MAN-HITHERTO ABOMINABLE

HAVING GIVEN HER HER FREEDOM,

SHE TOO WILL BE A POET."


"UNE SAISON EN ENFER

'A SEASON IN HELL."


"A HEART BREAKING CONFESSION

NOT OF FAITH BUT OF FAILURE."  (from une saison en enfer"

"ONE DOES NOT FINISH

ONE ABANDONS>"


"SINCE HE CULTIVATED HIS SOUL

RICHER TO BEGIN WITH THAN ANY OTHER."


"DRAGGED FROM CAFE

TO SCHOOL ROOM-

ONE IS FINISHED." ?


"NATIVE DEVIOUSNESS". (Verlains ?)


"FINAL REPUDIATION OF HIS PAST

AND A SIGN OF GRACE."  ?
----------------------------------------------------


"HOW CAN YOU FLIRT OVER BEER?"  BS

A:

"I SHOULD GO FOR A WALK

IT WILL DO ME GOOD.

B:

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?"

A:

"NOT SO SURE-BUT CAN'T CAUSE

MORE HARM THAN SITTING."  BS


C:

"DON'T BE SILLY

D:

"WHY NOT?

C:

WHAT'S THE POINT TO BE SILLY?

D:

"WHAT'S THE POINT NOT TO BE."   BS

E:

ACTUALLY I WAS JUST LEAVING"

F

"GOING FOR A WALK?

E:

NO, ACTUALLY NOT.

TOO MUCH EFFORT TO

GET TO THE RIVER."  BS


"OH! MY GOD!

OH! MY GOOD LORD!

HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL."  BS

"CAUGHT SOMETHING...

SOMETHING .....

VAGUE

BUT SOMETHING."  BS

"WHO KNOWS...

WHO KNOWS...

NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT A MINUTE

OF THEIR FUTURE "     BS

"A HEART BREAKING CONFESSION OF FAILURE."  BS

"MY DAY, TODAY WAS TOO MUCH.

I HOPE IT HAS PSSED...

NOT YET-----NOT YET."  BS

"NOTHING IS REAL EXCEPT HUNGER."  BS

WEARINESS DRAGS ME DOWN"   BS

"GLENDA JACKSON GAVE UP ACTING.

"ITS ENOUGH."

SHE SAID."   BS


"I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW

WHAT SHE SAID...

BUT I THINK THATS EXACTLY

WHAT SHE SAID.

"ITS ENOUGH."

THATS WHTA SHE SAID"
----------------------------------------------

LISTEN, NO-NO-NO YOU ARE

NOT MENTALLY ILL---I AM.  BS
----------------------------------------------


MARAT SADE

"THE GUTTER IS DEEP AND RED."  P WEISS

"CLIMB UP

CLIMB UP

AND RIDE ALONG WITH ME."   PW

"BUT SHE NEVER SAID,

A WORD

NEVER TURNED HER HEAD."   PW

"SACRIFICE PEOPLE MADE

TO KEEP YOU FAT."   PW

"LOOTED LIVES-

SECRET DEALS."  PW

"BASIS OF ALL LIFE IS DEATH."  PW

"NATURE HERSELF WOULD WATCH

UNMOVED-

IF WE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE

HUMAN RACE."     PW

"THIS PASSIONLESS SPECTATOR,

THIS UNBREAKABLE ICEBERG FACE."  PW

"IMAGE OF THEIR HELPLESSNESS

IMAGE OF CHRIST."      PW

"POST REVOLUTIONARY MURDERS."   PW

"SUFFER, FOR IT;S THE WILL OF GOD."  PW

"IMPORTANT THING IS TO PULL YOURSELF

UP BY YOUR OWN HAIR."   PW

"TURN YOURSELF ISIDE OUT."  PW

"PRAY FOR THOSE

WHO TORTURE YOU."    PW

"NO CAUSE, NO SACRIFICE

ONLY YOU

YOURSELF."    PW

"BEFORE DECIDING WHAT IS WRONG

AND WHAT IS RIGHT---WE MUST FIND OUT

WHAT WE ARE."     PW

"WHAT WE DO IS JUST A SHADOW

OF WHAT WE WANT TO DO."  PW
--------------------------------------------


"MOVING FORWARD

TOWARDS WHAT?"    BS

"WHERE ARE WE GOING?

UPTOWN

TO DO WHAT?

JUST TO GO UPTOWN."   BS

A:

"HOW EXTREMELY DEPRESSED CAN YOU GET?

B:


PLEASE CREATE SOME LIMITS

OF DEPRESSION.

AFTER A CERTAIN DEGREE

YOU HAVE TO STOP YOURSELF

TO GO THERE.  YOU MIGHT NEVER COME BACK.  BS

"HATRED?

SELF PITY

HATRED OF SELF PITY....

DO USELESS STUFF

BETTER THAN SELF PITY AND HATRED

DO USELESS STUFF

EVENTUALLY EVERYTHING IS USELESS."   BS

"WHAT A WASTE OF LOVE."   BS

"LOVE WASTED...WASTED...WASTE OF LOVE

LOVE AND IT'S EVENTUAL WASTE."   BS

"EVENTUALITY OF LOVE, LONELINESS,

BIG WORLD, BIG LONELINESS."  BS

"ARE WE DOING ANYTHING?" BS

"CONTEMPORARY, SECULAR WESTERNS

PERHAPS THE MOST DELUDED MORTALS

ON THE PLANET."   ?

"ONE REASON WE TURN TO ART IS

FOR CONTACT WITH OUR DEEPEST REALITIES."  ?









______________________________________________