Tuesday, March 31, 2020

PEOPLE

PEOPLE
------------

"YOU TALKED ABOUT ME TO HER...

IN NEGATIVE LIGHT.  SHAME ON YOU."  BS
----------------------------------------------------

CRUELTY AND TENDERNESS

GOES HAND IN HAND

SHOW THE UGLY SIDE OF YOU

TO THE UGLY ONES...

THEN, THEY WILL LEAVE YOU ALONE.

IF YOU ARE KINDHEARTED  TO THE UGLY

THEY WILL DESTROY YOU WITH THEIR UGLINESS.

BE RESRVE, DISTANT NO MATTER WHAT!

PEOPLE GENERALLY ARE DOUBLE FACED

GOSSIPY AND UN-TRUSTWORTHY

THEY CAN BE DANGEROUS IN THEIR NONSENSICAL TALK

THEY WILL ALWAYS UNDERMINE YOU IN YOUR ABSENCE

TO YOUR FACE ESPECIALLY WHEN THEY NEED SOMETHING

FROM YOU LIKE TO PRAISE YOU...

AND AFTER THEY GET WHAT THEY WANT

THE PRAISE WILL VANISH...

BE AWARE...

MOST OF THE PEOPLE HAVE NO IDEA OF SOPHISTICATION

WHICH ALSO COMES FROM EDUCATION, EMPATHY AND SUFFERING

LACK OF KNOWLEDGE ABOUT OTHER PEOPLE, AND OTHER

PEOPLE'S CULTURE IS THE TARGET OF DISCRIMINATION

INSTEAD OF BEING HURT, YOU SHOULD

FEEL SORRY FOR THEIR IGNORANCE...AND

UNFORTUNATE NATURE OF NOT TRYING TO

KNOW ANOTHER HUMAN BEING WELL.
----------------

PSYCHOANALYSIS
---------------

"PSYCHOANALYSIS  IS PRIMARILY A METHOD

OF DIAGNOSING AND TREATING CERTAIN MENTAL AND NERVOUS DISORDER."???

"CONCENTRATION ON THE MAN DISTRACTS US FROM HIS WORK."  ???

"AN EXISTENTIAL MAN ENGAGED IN THE ATTEMPT

TO ACHIEVE THE IMPOSSIBLE SYNTHESIS OF EXISTENCE."????

--------------------

MUEZZEN

MUSELEMAN

WHO CALLS FOR PRAYER FIVE TIMES A DAY.

VOYEUR--A NOSTALGIC SUFFERER."???

"EXISTENCE IN ITSELF IS IMPOSSIBLE LIKE EVERYTHING ELSE.

JUST DO THINGS YOU LIKE TO DO FOR DOING'S SAKE AND

ALSO TO UTILIZE TIME IN A BETTER WAY AND FORGET THE RESULTS."  ???

" WHAT DID HE DO?

DANCED ALMOST NAKED WITH NAKED GAY MEN AND WOMEN

WHO ARE PART OF THE SEX INDUSTRY...PORNO STARS EVERY WHERE

IN THE WORLD.  NOW HOW TOUGH IS THAT?

AND HOW CREATIVE?"???

"SUCCESS HAS DIFFERENT MEANING FOR DIFFERENT PEOPLE." ??

"SATURDAY, I WILL GO SEE A PLAY.

SUNDAY I WILL GO SEE A PLAY.

MONDAY. SOMETHING ELSE...MAYBE A MOVIE."  BS

JANUARY IST:  MAYBE TO BALTHAZAR FOR LUNCH."  BS

"DISTRESS, PAIN AND SACRIFICE AND SWEAT, HE HAD

ENDURED TO SET HIM ON THE PATH OF RICHES."   TITIAN

"CAPTURE THE COLOR AND ENERGY OF EVERY DAY LIFE."  ??
------------------------

"IMPORTANT VISUAL POEMS
---------------------------------

OVID'S:  METAMORPHOSES

TOO SUBTLE AN ARTIST TO SACRIFICE BEAUTY IN THE

METAPHORICAL DEPICTION OF A CURRENT EVENT" ???

"GORY TASK

"UNLITERARY."???

"ENTER MY BREAST AND BREATH THERE."???

"RARE ABILITY TO FUSE THE POLITICAL AND POETRY."???

"READ, "LIFE OF THE ARTIST"

BY

GIORGIO VASARI

"CLEAR LINES AND SCULPTURAL VOLUMES

OF FLORENTINE PAINTINGS FROM THE MORE FREELY DRAWN

COLOR DRIVEN CANVASES OF TITIAN OF VENICE."???

"APPLYING BLURED OUTLINES, APPLYING PAINT WITH

HIS FINGERS LAYERING COLOR FOR ATMOSPHERIC EFFECT."???

"PALETTE SO WARM, YOU CAN ALMOST FEEL IT'S HEAT."???

"HE STOOD APART FROM MORE CONTROLLED DESIGN CONSCIOUS

FLORENTINE EMBODIED BY MICHELANGELO'S MUSCULAR WOMEN

IN THE SISTINE CHAPEL."???

"MICHELANGELO PAINTED THE WORLD AS IT SHOULD BE,

TITIAN WITH HIS VENETIAN SPONTANEITY AND USE OF COLOR

GAVE US THE WORLD AS IS."???
------------------------------------

"MANHATTAN DAYS"

PROSE POEMS

BY

BINA SHARIF







OLD NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

OLD NOTE BOOKS CONTINUES
--------------------------------

"IT'S NOT EASY TO ACCEPT THAT EVERY DAY LIFE

IS THE REAL LIFE."   Tessa de loo

"DOES SHE NOT FEEL THE ENNUI OF ROUTINE?"  Tessa de loo
--------------------

TIT BITS, GOING OUT TO EAT

I DON'T LIKE EATING OUT NOW

UNLESS UNLESS IT'S BALTHAZAR OR SOME OTHER PLACE LIKE THAT.

IN MOST OF THE RESTAURANTS, SERVICE IS AWFUL,

FOOD IS MOSTLY COLD, UNDERCOOKED OR OVERCOOKED.

WAITRESS ALWAYS HAVE AN ATTITUDE.

THE PLACE IS USUALLY DRAFTY

THEY GIVE YOU THE WORST TABLE NEAR THE BATHROOM

OR THE NOISY KITCHEN UNLESS THEY THINK THAT YOU ARE, "SOMEBODY."

THE FISH IS ALWAYS FARM FISH AND IT'S THE MOST PRICY, 30-36 DOLLARS

ONE TIME I ASKED A WAITRESS ABOUT THE FISH,

"EXUSE ME, IS THE FISH WILD OR FARM FISH?"

i SAID,

"OH! I REALLY DON'T KNOW, LET ME ASK THE MANAGER"

(She knew very well that it's not wild)

"OH! IT'S FARM FISH."  SHE SAID

SO YOU EAT WILD FISH AT HOME,  LESS PRICE FOR SURE

AND IN THE RESTAURANT YOU PAY $35 FOR THE FRAM FISH...

ISN'T THAT STUPID?

BUT WE STILL DO IT

AT LEAST SOME TIME

WE THE POOR PEOPLE

THE THE BILL

RICH PEOPLE EAT OUT ALL THE TIME.

MONEY IS NOT TH PROBLEM.

MODELS AND CELEBS GO TO TE FANCY PLACES NOT TO EAT

BUT TO PICK AND BE SEEN IN THEIR LATEST DESIGNER CLOTHES...

AND SOME ONE ELSE IS FOOTING THE BILL.

I GUESS WE SHOULD JUST STAY HOME

COOK AND CLEAN AND COOK AND CLEAN AGAIN

BUT WE DON'T THINK THAT IS OUR FUNCTION

BECAUSE WE DARE CALL OURSELVES, "ARTISTS"

"ARTISTS?"  MY ASS...

ONLY CELEBS ARE THE ARTISTS...CELEBS WHO CAN NOT ACT,

CAN NOT WRITE AND CAN NOT PERFORM...

THEY ARE THE CELEBS...THEY DON'T HAVE TO DO ANYTHING

A REAL ARTIST STRUGGLES FOR...

IN THIS CITY EVERY ONE IS AN ARTIST.

"WHAT DO YOU DO?"

"I AM AN ARTIST."

AND THAT'S HOW IT GOES.

THE REAL ARTISTS ARE POOR.

THEY CAN'T EAT OUT

AND THEY SHOULDN'T

SO WHAT SHOULD THEY DO ABOUT FOOD?

COOK

AND THEN?

EAT

AND THEN?

COOK AGAIN

AND THEN?

EAT AGAIN....

WHAT TIME SHOULD THEY DO THEIR ART?

OK, THEN, DO YOUR ART AND STARVE YOUR SELF

DO NOT COOK, DO NOT EAT,

STARVE YOURSELF...

DO YOUR ART...

HUNGRY ARTIST

THAT'S A NICE TITLE, "HUNGRY ARTIST" FOR YOUR NEW PERFORMANCE PIECE

"WHERE AM I PERFORMING?"

"I GOT AN IDEA FOR YOU."

"WHAT IDEA?"

"PERFORM IN YOUR KITCHEN WHILE YOU ARE COOKING AND SING ALONG,

"HUNGRY ARTIST...HUNGRY ARTIST."  AND THAT WOULD BE SWELL

"SEE YOU CAN ACHIEVE TWO PURPOSES AT THE SAME TIME...

PERFORM AND COOK AND THEN FEED YOURSELF AND SAVE YOUR SCANTY

MONEY FROM GIVING IT TO THE RICH  OWNERS OF THE LOUSY RESTAURANTS.

THE PASTA IN THE RESTAURANTS IS REALLY LOUSY.

FULL OF SALT, FULL OF SUGAR,  COLD AND CREEPY.

SALADS ARE DROWNING IN BROWNISH, MUDDY LOOKING DRESSING...

GLASS OF WATER FULL OF ICE, HARDLY ANY WATER IN THE GLASS

ON AN ACY, SNOWY DAY OUTSIDE.  MY TEETH CHATTER WITH FREEZING

ICY COLD WATER FOR HOURS AFTER WARDS.

THE COME STHE BILL.  LOADS OF TAX AND TIP

AND TIP, DOUBLE THE TAX AND SOME MORE IF YOU DON'T WANT TO BE

SUDDENLY  STABBED BY THE LOOKS OF THE ANGRY WAITRESS

AND THEN COME HOME DEPRESSED BECAUSE NO YOU HAVE NO MORE MONEY FOR

THE COFFEE NEXT MORNING.

NOW YOU ARE AT HOME AND YOU ARE ANGRY, UNSATISFIED,

BLOATED, YOUR BP GOING UP AND UP WITH SALT AND YOU ARE POORER THAN

BEFORE.

OLD NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF CONTINUES

OLD NOTE BOOKS OF BINA SHARIF CONTINUES
--------------------------------------------------------------------

"DELIVER A BLOW AT ALL OF THEM

WITH YOUR LAUGHTER."  Annonymous
------------------------------------------------------

MY FAVORITE WRITERS

PINTER

BECKETT

GOGOL

DOSTOEYSKY

CHEKHOV

TENNESSEE

BAUDELAIR

BALZAC

MUSPASSANT

IONESCO

SHAESPEARE

PIRANDELLO

RIMBAUD

BERNARD SHAW

DIDION

JAMES BALDWIN

YEATS

OSCAR WILDE

JAMES JOYCE

KEATS

EDGAR ALLEN POE
---------------------------------

"LAUGHTER GOT REPLACED BY

NOSTALGIC SADNESS"  Anonymous

"THE SERVANT ARRIVES WHEN THE MASTER CALLS."  Anonymous
----------------------------------------------------------------

KARIMA, A NEW YORKER
--------------

IT WILL BE ALL OVER ON SUNDAY.

I HAVE FAILED IN DEALING WITH ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE.

I WANT TO STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE RIGHT NOW

I DON'T WANT TO UNDERSTAND THEM

I TRIED,

I FAILED.

I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH THEM IN ANY WHICH WAY RIGHT NOW

I FIND THEM VERY VERY DANGEROUS RIGHT NOW

IN THEIR SMILING SLY REMARKS

THEY THINK YOU ARE STUPID WHEN THEY MAKE THOSE SNARKY REMARKS

THEY ARE NOT GOOD FOR MY MENTAL HEALTH RIGHT NOW

I NEED TO PRESERVE MY PSYCHE

MY ENERGY

AND MY CREATIVITY.

THEY ARE FOR SURE CRUCIAL TO MY CREATIVITY

SOME OF THEM AT LEAST

I KNOW TWO OR THREE NICE PEOPLE

THAT'S ALL

AND THERE ARE MILLIONS

WHAT A SHAME

I TRIED

TO BE NICE, KIND, GIVING, COMPASSIONATE

I FAILED

MAYBE SOME OF MY OWN WEAKNESS

THEY ARE HATEFUL TOWARDS ME

THEY ARE REALLY DESTRUCTIVE TOWARDS ME

THEY MAKE A REMARK IN PASSING

AND IT DISTURBS ME FOR MONTHS

I MUST BE A REAL THIN SKINNED PERSON

NOT A NEW YORKER

NO, NOT IN THE LEAST

THIUGH THIS IS THE ONLY PLACE I HAVE LIVED FOR SO LONG

DIDN'T LEARN THE TOUGHNESS OF NEW YORKER

THAT'S A COMPLIMENT

I WISH I WAS TOUGH,

RESILIENT,

AGGRESSIVE,

AMBITIOUS,

A CUT THROAT PERSON.

WHAT'S THE POINT OF LIVING IN NY IF YOU DON'T HAVE THOSE

QUALITIES WHICH LEAD TOWARDS SUCCESS

SUCCESS AT ANY COST

"I WILL KILL MY MOTHER TO GET AHEAD IF SHE WAS IN MY WAY."

THEY SAY

I AM SURE THEY DON'T MEAN IT

NO ONE IS GOING TO KILL THEIR MOTHERS TO GET AHEAD

BUT THIS SAYING SAYS IT ALL.

IT'S THE TOUGH DETERMINATION TO MAKE IT.

WHY LIVE IN NY OTHERWISE?

BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE I HAVE ENCOUNTERED

OVER THE YEARS ARE How are you?TEFUL,

MEAN,

UNTHANKFUL,

SHAMELESS,

HORRENDOUS IN THEIR RACISM

IN THEIR PREJUDICE

PROVOKTIVE,

MISERABLY SUPERIOR, (THEY THINK)

JUST MEAN BASTARDS

I HAVE DECIDED TO BE ALONE

ESPECIALLY AFTER SEPT 11

JUST BE ALONE

READ BOOKS

PAINT

BE ALONE

BE SAD

MISS HOME

CRY

REGRET

LAUGH

CRY AGAIN

BUT BE ALONE RIGHT NOW

DO NOT RUN INTO PEOPLE

ALL THEY How are you?VE TO SAY IS, " YOUR COUNTRY IS FULL OF TERRORISTS."

"WHICH COUNTRY"?

I ASK

"YOUR COUNTRY."

THEY SAY

"THIS IS MY COUNTRY, USA, NEW YORK."

I SAY

"NO, I MEAN YOUR REAL COUNTRY, THE COUNTRY YOU CAME FROM, THE COUNTRY

WHICH IS FULL OF EVEIL PEOPLE, TERRORISTS, TERRORIST RELIGION THEY

PRACTICE, THEY SAY ALLH-HO-AKBAR BEFORE THEY KILL."

I HAVE DECIDED NOT TO GO OUT.

I MUST NOT GO OUT

THEY STOPP ME AT EVERY STREET CORNER AND SAY THESE AWFUL THINGS.

I MUST NOT GO OUT AT ALL.

JUST EXERCISE AT HOME

TAKE CARE OF YOUR DIET

YOUR HEALTH

JUST BELIEVE THAT THERE IS A FAMINE OUTSIDE

AND YOU MUST NOT GO OUT AT ALL

DANGEROUS FOR YOUR WELL BEING....

TAKE WALKS IN UN-KNOWN NEIGHBORHOODS

WHERE NO ONE KNOWS YOU...

BE POLITE WITH EVERY ONE EVEN IF THEY SAY NASTY THINGS ABOUT YOU

BE POLITE

WALK AWAY

SAY, TANKS AND WALK AWAY...

DO NOT TAKE IT TO HEART

DO NOT WASTE YOUR TALENT

YOUR EMOTIONS

YOUR SENSITIVITY

YOUR KINDNESS OF THE HEART,

YOUR SOPHISTICATION

FOR NOTHING.

THOSE KIND OF PEOPLE MEANS NOTHING TO YOU

THEIR REMARKS MEANS NOTHING TO YOU.

BE ABOVE IT

LET IT GO

MEDITATE

PRAY.

NOTHING AND NONE OF THEM ARE WORTH YOUR TIME

SAVE IT FOR YOURSELF

READ POETRY

YOU HAVE GREAT BOOKS

YOU LOVE TO READ KARIMA

DON'T YOU

YOU TOLD ME THAT YOU LOVE TO READ

YOU TOLD ME, ALL THOSE WRITERS ARE YOUR BEST FRIENDS

YOU HAVE COMPANIONSHIP OF ALL THE DEAD WRITERS

AND THEY WERE THE REALL WRITERS

NO JOKE ABOUT IT

THEIR POEMS STAYS IN THE DEPTH OF YOUR SOUL

THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU STRENGTH.

THAT SHOULD GIVE YOU,

JOY,

PAIN,

SORROW,

AMUSEMENT,

LIFE'S REALITIES,

LIFE'S TRUTHS AND IT'S FALSEHOOD

BRAVERY,

COURAGE,

STRUGGLE

PERSEVERANCE

WILL POWER

HARD WORK,

CAUSE TO LIVE

INSPIRATION TO LIVE

LONGING TO LIVE

DEDICATION

DEDICATION FOR A CAUSE

WILL TO LIVE,

WILL TO ACHIEVE

APPRECIATION OF BEAUTY

APPRECIATION OF TIME,

APPRECIATION OF JOY

APPRECIATION OF LOVE,

APPRECIATION OF TIME,

APPRECIATION OF DEATH EVEN.....

SEE KARIMA, YOU HAVE TONS

OF FRIENDS, DEAD FRIENDS

THEY ARE WILLING TO TALK TO YOU,

LAUGH WITH YOU,

CRY WITH YOU,

AMUSE YOU,

MAKE YOU THINK,

MKE YOU AWARE OF THINGS YOU DID NOT KNOW,

MAKE YOU AWARE OF WHAT'S GOING TO COME...

SAVE YOUR STRENGTH FOR THEM

SO YOU CAN LEARN FROM THEM

SAVE YOUR CREATIVITY FOR THEM, YOUR KNOWLEDGE

YOUR PSYCHOLOGY,

YOUR SENSE OF ANALYSIS,

YOUR ABILITY TO LEARN

ABILITY TO ACQUIRE KNOWLEDGE FROM THEM...

GATHER STRENGTH TO LEARN FROM THEM

PRESERVE YOUR SENSES TO LEARN FROM THEM

TIME IS ALWAYS SHORT LIKE LIFE

USE YOUR TIME WISELY...

IT'S QUITE LATE ALREADY

AND GETTING LATER AND LATER

SAVE YOUR SELF SWEETHEART

SAVE YOUR SELF DEAR KARIMA

SAVE YOUR SELF...............




Saturday, March 28, 2020

OLD NOTE BOOKS. LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THEM. NOTEBOOK 2012

OLD NOTE BOOKS.  LET'S SEE WHAT'S IN THEM.  NOTE BOOK 2012

ANOTHER MISTAKE.

SHOULD I HAVE KEPT HIM?

OR LET HIM GO?

THERE WERE SIGNS THAT HE WILL BE TROUBLE

WHAT DID I DO?

KEPT HIM...

RESULT...

DISASTER...

CAN'T DESCRIBE THE TRAUMATIC EXPERIENCE.

LET IT GO...

EASY SAID THEN DONE...

TOO LATE..

HUGE LOSS?

HOPE NOT

GO WITH YOUR INSTINCTS NEXT TIME

LISTEN TO YOUR SENSES

TRUST YOUR INSTINCTS

THE PRESENT CIRCUMSTANCES

NO ONE GOOD IS AVAILABLE

THOSE ARE THE SIGNS

BUT NOW TRY TO LET IT GO...

I SHALL TRY...
___________________________________

DIFFICULTIES OF DOING PLAYS UNDER THE CIRCUMSTANCES

NO ONE GOOD IS AVAILABLE TO WORK FOR NO MONEY

THEATER HAS NO MONEY

I HAVE NO MONEY

NON PROFIT OUTFiT

WHAT DO i DO?

HIRE MEDIOCRITY

AND THEN/

THEY JUMP ON MY HEAD AND DANCE

THE WORD PROFESSIONAL DOESN'T EXIST UNTILL YOU PAY THEM

WHO SHOULD PAY THEM?

THE PRODUCER

THE PRODUCER SAYS, "THEY HAVE NO MONEY"

YOU WANT TO DO YOUR PLAY, YOU FIGURE IT OUT

TAKE THE ABUSE....

I DO...

I TAKE THE ABUSE

I HATE MYSELF

I STILL DO MY PLAYS

I KEEP TAKING THE ABUSE

I KEEP HURTING MYSELF

 STOP WRITING ABOUT IT

IT'S MAKING ME VERY DEPRESSED...

I HAVE ALOT OF DISTRESS

I AM GOIN TO STOP WRITING ABOUT IT

IT'S MAKING ME VERY VERY DEPRESSED.
-----------------------------------------------------------

STOP DOING THE PLAYS WITH OTHER ACTORS

DO A ONE WOMAN SHOW

THAT'S IT

THAT'S THE ANSWER

CUT OUT THE HEART ACHE...

LOOK FOR WORK AS AN ACTOR IN OTHER PEOPLE'S PLAYS

DO ONLY PAYING JOBS

GO BACK TO DOING MOVIES

COMMERCIALS

TV

MAXIMUM TWO CHARACTER PLAYS WITH K...

DEVELOP  CULTURAL BLOG

GO OUT TO THE THEATER, SEE OTHER PEOPLE'S PLAYS

ENJOY YOURSELF

CUT OUT THE HEART ACHE

EXERCISE

GYM?

THAT'S A QUESTION MARK

I HATE GYM

LONG WALKS

LONG, LONG WALKS ON THE COUNTRY ROADS

COUNTRY ROADS LINED WITH TALL TREES

BY THE SEA SIDE...

ARE YOU DREAMING?

YOU LIVE IN THE EAST VILLAGE,

WITH HOMELESS AND RATS

BUT THERE IS THE EAST RIVER...


WALK ON THE CEMENT PATHWAY NEXT TO THE RAILING

OVERLOOKING THE RIVER...

IMAGINE THAT YOU ARE ON A COUNTRY ROAD NEXT TO THE SEA.

IMAGINE...

KEEP IMAGINING...

THANK GOD THAT YOU HAVE IMAGINATION

DO YOU HAVE IMAGINATION?

YOU THINK YOU DO

YOU ARE AN ARTIST,  ARN'T YOU?

AT LEAST YOU SAY THAT YOU ARE

AN ARTIST

PROVE IT...

HAVE AN IMAGINATION.

DO EVERYTHING BASED ON THAT FERTILE

IMAGINATION....

TRAVEL WITH IT

GO TO LONDON

GO TO TURKEY

GO TO BARCELONA

GO TO LISBON

GO TO MARAKESH

SEE HOW MANY COUNTRIES YOU CAN GO TO

JUST WITH YOUR IMAGINATION?

YOU ARE LUCKY THAT YOU ARE AN ARTIST...

GOOD ACTORS OR NONE...

MONEY OR NO MONEY...

FAME OR NO FAME

COMMERCE OR NO COMMERCE

YOUR AMAZING IMAGINATION IS YOUR COMMERCE...

HOW MANY PEOPLE HAVE IT?

NOT MANY

FORGET ABOUT THEATER

FORGET ABOUT PLAYS

JUST GO AWAY

TO EXOTIC LANDS

MANY, MANY EXOTIC LANDS

FULL OF FLOWERS,

FULL OF BLOSSOMING TREES,

FULL OF BAZARS

FULL OF SPICE

FULL OF STRANGERS

IT'S SO WONDERFUL TO BE AMONGST STRANGERS

YOU MUST BE USED TO IT

YOU HAVE BEEN AMONGST STRANGERS FOR SO LONG

THE COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN...

IS NOT YOUR COUNTRY...

YOU ARE AMONGST STRANGERS...

YOU ARE ALREADY TRAVELING

YOU ARE ALREADY IN EXOTIC LANDS.

DON'T THINK OF PDF

I HATE THE WORD PDF

YOU DON'T HAVE TO WORRY ABOUT PDF

YOU ARE NOT A PLAYWRIGHT ANY LONGER

YOU ARE AN EXOTIC TRAVELLER.
....................................................................

DURING YOUR TRAVELS
------------------------------------

MUSEUMS

THEATER

PARKS

WINDOW SHOPPING

KEEP BUSY

NO ACCESSABILITY TO MORONS

BE A CELEB...

RESEVE

POLITE

DISTANT

READ

READ PLAYS

SHEKSPEARE

PINTER

CHEKOV

BERNARD SHAW

MOLIER

AUGUST WILSON

READ BOOKS

CAMUS

BOUDELAIRE

JAMES BALDWIN

ANDRE GIDE

DR SAMUEL JHONSON

RIMBAUD

YEATS

EDGAR ALLEN POE

FLAUBERT

EMERSON

TENNESSEE WILLIAMS

DOSTOVESKY

GOGOL

TURGENIEV


-----------------------------------

CHEKOVIAN DESPAIR

SHRINKING ASPIRATIONS

MISSED CONNECTIONS

BOTTOMLESS HUNGER

CLARITY IN CHEKHOV'S AMBIGUITY

COMIC AND TRAGIC AT ONCE

ILLUMINATING FIERCENESS?

FUTILE ATTEMPTS TO COMMUNICATE
--------------------------------------------------------

"OUTSIDER"
------------------

WE DON'T HAVE STRONG SENSE OF PROPORTIONS

MANY TIMES WE SEE OURSELVES WITH OTHER PEOPLE'S EYES,

AND OTHER PEOPLE'S EYES ONLY.

AND OTHER PEOPLE'S EYES SEE US AS OUTSIDERS,  AS FOREIGNERS,

IMMIGRANTS FROM POOR COUNTRIES WHO MUST BE INFERIOR--TO

BE TAMED AND TREATED AS SUBSERVIENT.

THE SADDEST THING IS THAT WE NEVER EVER WANT TO SEE

OURSELVES THAT WAY BUT WHEN WE CATCH OURSELVES WITH THAT VISION

WE WANT TO RUN AWAY FROM OURSELVES AND FROM OTHERS AND

EVENTUALLY BECOME, "OUTSIDERS" EVEN TO OURSELVES.

THEY WANTED US TO BE THAT WAY.

THEN WE ISOLATE OURSELVES AND WASTE ALL THAT CREATIVE ENERGY FIGHTING

 THE...

THE FIGHT WITH OURSELVES NOT TO FEEL WHAT WE ARE MADE TO FEEL,

WHAT WE ARE FORCED TO FEEL.

UNDOING WHAT'S BEEN DONE TO US IS MONUMENTAL EFFORT

AND WE ARE EXHAUSTED TO GO OUT AND FIGHT AND TRY TO TAKE

THIS FALSE, ASSUMED TRAGIC REALITY OUT OF OUR LIVES.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------------------

IF YOU LIVE UNDER DURESS OF HISTORY

YOU WILL BE IN TOUCH OF MALICE--(PERSONAL MALICE) THAT IS...

RANCOUR..GET RID OF IT.

"INCORRIGIBLE OPTIMIST."  ?

"IGNORE OR BYPASS SAYINGS AND BAD BEHAVIOR OF PEOPLE

TOWARDS YOU." ?
----------------------------------------

"NOTES FOR AN ACTOR"
---------------------------------

LEARN YOUR LINES

SPEED UP YOUR SPEECH, (PACING)

DO NOT AD LIB

DO NOT USE YOUR HANDS TOO MUCH
_____________---------------------------------

PEOPLE'S BACK IS BENT IN THIS COUNTRY

MOST WITH BENT BACKS ARE IMMIGRANTS

MAKING THE NATIVES FILTHY RICH.
-------------------------------------

THERE IS NO OTHER CHOICE FOR YOU BUT

TO LAUGH AWAY AT THE UGLY REALITY BY

MAKING IT LOOK ABSURD.
------------

"PECULIAR LACK OF RESPECT FOR MAN AS HE IS."??

THE SAD FACT OF EVERY DAY LIFE AND ITS EXISTENCE IS

THAT WHAT IS MISSING AND ACTUALLY TOTALLY MISSING

IS TOTAL RESPECT FOR ANOTHER PERSON UNDER ANY AND

ALL CIRCUMSTANCES, TRIVIAL OR IMPORTANT...WHAT IS MISSING

IS RESPECT FOR THE OTHER.  BS

"DARING PSYCHOLOGICAL INQUISTIVENESS." ??

"AN UPROOTED ROMANTIC WHO NEVER FELT QUITE AT HOME

IN THIS WORLD AND IN FACT WAS FRIGHTENED OF IT WAS GOGOL." ??

"ESCAPE FROM REALITY INTO WORLD OF FANTASY AND LAUGHTER."  ??

"SINCE REALITY CAN NOT BE WARDED OFF,  MAKE IT AS RIDICULOUS AS POSSIBLE,

TRY TO DISARM IT BY MAKING IT RIDICULOUS." ??

"DISARM THEM BY IGNORING THEM."?
--------------------------------------------

"JUST THREW ME OFF, THE LECHEROUSNESS AND VULGARITY OF IT ALL--

AND THE DELIBERATE INDIFFERENT COOLNESS OF IT ALL

AS IF EVERYTHING ELSE WAS JUST FINE AND WORKING PERFECTLY

WHILE IT WAS A PERFECT DISASTER, (THE THING H WAS THERE FOR)

WAS A METICULOUS DISASTER BUT H COOLNESS AND OPPORTUNITY

TO ENTERTAIN H IN A LECHEROUS WAY WAS METICULOUS

WHILE H IGNORE THE SURROUNDINGS IN WHICH THE DISASTER H

WAS DOING WAS COMPLETELY IGNORED AND DISRESPECTED."  ??BS??
------------------------------------------------------------------

"NOTES OF A MADMAN" BY GOGOL

"THE SPITEFUL IRONICAL ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE WORLD." ???

"LOUD AND BITTER LAUGHTER." ??

VULGARITY OF BEHAVIOR
--------------------------------

F**KED IT UP EVERY NIGHT

MESSED IT ALL UP

NOTHING I COULD DO TO SET IT RIGHT

NOTHING

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

WHAT IT IS THAT KARIMA COULD HAVE DONE?

SO IT FELT LIKE THAT IT SUCCEEDED IN

NOT F**KING ME UP

SO WHY SET IT RIGHT?

INSTEAD...

THE F&&KER'S ATTITUDE WAS

SO WHAT?

"IT'S FUN"

WAS THE ATTITUDE OF THE F&&KER

HE HAD MUCH MORE FUN TO F&&K IT ALL UP EVERY NIGHT

FOR HIM IT WAS A GREAT PLACE TO VISIT EVERY NIGHT

FOR FLIRTATIONS

NEVER TO SWEAT TO DO THE RIGHT THING

WHICH WAS REQUIRED IN THAT SPACE

THE PURPOSE FOR WHICH HE ENTERED THE SPACE

OR WAS ALLOWED TO ENTER THAT SPACE

BECAME THE LEAST IMPORTANT FOR HIM

IT WAS JUST A PERFECT OPPORTUNITY FOR HIM

TO ENTER THAT SPACE AND HAVE LECHEROUS ACTIVITY

AND CONTINUED TO F&UCK UP THE REAL REASON

WHY HE WAS ALLOWED IN THAT SPACE TO BEGIN WITH...

F&7KING IT UP NIGHT AFTER NIGHT

AND WHY NOT?

THAT WAS THE POWER THE BASTARD ASSUMED

TO FLIRT

TO HAVE A DATE

AS IF HE WAS COMING TO A BAR

OR TO A SOCIAL CLUB

OR TO A DATING SIGHT

OR A BROTHEL...

BUT THE REAL PLAY WAS F**KED UP

AND HE F**KED IT UP WITH REAL GLEE

AND THAT WAS THE MOST DISGUSTING....

THE MOST DISGUSTING PART OF

THE BASTARD ACTOR......

HIS LECHEROUS, VULGAR. COULDN'T CARE-SADISTIC ATTITUDE

TOWARDS THE BOSS WHO ALLOWED HIM IN TO DELIVER

AN ENTIRELY DIFFERENT FUNCTION WHICH HE NEVER DELIVERED...

BUT KEPT HIS LECHEROUS BEHAVIOR INTACT THROUGHOUT...

IT MAKES ME FEEL THROWING UP

BECAUSE HE WAS NEVER FIRED.....
-------------------------------------------


THERAPY
-------------

LISTEN,

YOU HAVE TO GET OVER IT

YOU ARE HURTING YOURSELF

NO ONE ELSE BUT YOURSELF

YOU ARE ACTUALLY HURTING YOUR CREATIVITY,

YOUR ENERGY, YOUR SPIRIT, YOUR HOPE,

THUS YOUR FUTURE PROSPECTS.

FUTURE EXISTS TILL YOU DIE...

YOU ARE NOT DEAD YET...

THANK GOD.

SO HAVE SOME HOPE

DO NOT CLING TO THE NEGATIVE

LET IT GO

LET IT GO

LET IT GO.

YOU ALWAYS DO SOMETHING DESTRUCTIVE TO YOURSELF

YOU PUT ACTORS IN YOUR SHOWS WHO CAN NOT ACT

AND WHEN YOU PUT THEM IN YOUR SHOWS

YOU ALREADY KNOW THAT THEY CAN NOT ACT.

SO WHY DO YOU DO THAT?

DESTRUCTIVE ACT TO BEGIN WITH...

THE RESULT OF A DESTRUCTIVE ACT IS ALWAYS DESTRUCTION

THEN YOU SURPRISE YOURSELF

"OH1 THEY CAN'T ACT,  THEY ARE AMATEUR"

I GUESS YOU DIDN'T KNOW THAT ALREADY

RIGHT?

RIGHT.

AND THEN YOU CONSTANTLY AGGRESS YOUR SELF

AND WASTE TONS OF ENERGY ON THEIR BAD ACTING.

WHAT'S WRONG WITH YOU?

THERAPY DOESN'T SEEM LIKE IT'S WORKING FOR YOU

WHEN YOU HIRED THEM YOU KNEW IT

YOU KNEW THAT THEY ARE NOT ACTORS

YOU KNEW THAT

WHY DID YOU HIRE THEM?

WHY DID YOU PUT THOSE ASSHOLES IN YOUR SHOW?

BECAUSE...

BECAUSE WHAT?

BECAUSE THERE ARE NO GREAT ACTORS AVAILABLE IN THIS THEATER

WHY DIDN'T YOU FIND THEM FROM SOMEWHERE ELSE?

BECAUSE MOST OF THE TRAINED ACTORS DO NOT WORK FOR FREE

SO PAY THEM

WHAT?

PAY THEM

I CAN'T PAY THEM

NO ONE PAYS ME

TO PAY THEM

CAN'T AFFORD IT

SO, WHAT'S THE ANSWER?

THE ANSWER IS TO FIND TRAINED ACTORS,

PAY THEM

AND THEY WON'T ABUSE THE PROCESS

BUT THOSE ACTORS WORK IN MORE ESTABLISHED VENUES

SO THIS ONE IS NOT THE MOST ESTABLISHED VENUE?

NOT REALLY---

BUT IT'S NOT A BAD VENUE

BETTER THAN MANY OTHERS

VERY GOOD FOR CREATIVITY

 AND FREEDOM TO EXPERIMENT

SO THATS A PLUS...

BUT I WISH I HAD REALLY TRAINED ACTORS

BUT YOU NEVER TRIED TO GET THEM, DID YOU?

NOT REALLY...

I JUST ASSUMED THAT THOSE ACTORS WON'T WORK HERE

OR MAYBE NOT WORK WITH YOU...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

YOU ASSUMED THAT REALLY TRAINED ACTORS WON'T WORK WITH YOU?

I DIDN'T KNOW...MAYBE?

WHY?

(SILENCE)

WHY?

MAYBE I DON'T THINK THAT I AM ESTABLISHED ENOUGH

SO, YOU HAVE ESTABLISHED THE FACT IN YOUR OWN HEAD

THAT YOU ARE NOT ESTABLISHED AND NO ONE GOOD ENOUGH

WILL WORK WITH YOU...

I DON'T KNOW....

REALLY, IT'S JUST DIFFICULT TO GET GREAT ACTORS WHEN THEATER DOESN'T PAY

THEM.

SO, YOU HAVE STTLED YOUR HEART ON GETTING ORDINARY OR EVEN

AMATEUR ACTORS...

WHATEVER I CAN GET..

YOU REALLY BELIEVE THAT YOU DESERVE  BAD ACTORS?

NO, I CAN'T GET GOOD ACTORS

 THEN YOUR CHOICE IS TO WORK WITH BAD ACTORS?

NO, T'S NOT MY CHOICE, IT'S NECESSITY.

WHY HAVE YOU CREATED THIS DIFFICULT NECESSITY FOR YOURSELF?

WHAT ELSE CAN I DO?

YOU CAN STOP DOING YOUR PLAYS

BUT I NEED TO GET MY WORK DONE...

BUT WHY IN SUCH A BAD AND POOR WAY?

I DON'T KNOW

WHAT IS IT THAT YOIU DON'T KNOW?

I DON'T KNOW WHAT ELSE TO DO...

YOU DON'T HAVE MANY CHOICES, DO YOU?

NO, I DON'T

BUT YOU CAN MAKE ONE OF THE CHOICES, EITHER DON'T DO THE PLAYS

OR DO THEM  AND GET BETTER ACTORS

FROM WHERE?

IF YOU HAD MORE CONFIDENCE IN YOU, YOU WILL GET ACTORS WHO

HAVE BEEN ON STAGE BEFORE INSTEAD OF GETTING THE ACTORS WHO

HAVE NEVER BEEN UNDER THE LIGHTS.  IF YOU HAD MORE CONFIDENCE

IN YOURSELF AGOOD ACTORS WILL BE LINING UP EVEN TO WORK FOR NO MONEY.

IT'S YOU WHO HAS LOW SELF ESTEEM AND BECAUSE OF THAT YOU ARE

DESPERATE TO GET ANY TOM, DICK AND HARRY AND PUT THEM IN TO FILL THE

ROLES FOR WHICH THEY ARE LEAST EQUIPPED.  YOU ARE EMBARRASSING

YOURSELF.   DO NOT FILL THE ROLES.  GET REAL ACTORS, NO MATTER HOW,

THE ACTORS WHO HAVE REAL ABILITY TO DELIVER YOUR MATERIAL OR

DO NOT DO THE PLAYS.

DO ONE PERSON SHOWS

TRAVEL WITH THE SHOWS

MAKE SOME MONEY

HAVE LESS HEARTACHE

KEEP WRITING THE PLAYS WITH OTHER CHARACTERS THOUGH

KEEPPOLISHING THEM

THEN SUBMIT TO OTHER PROFESSIONAL THEATERS

REGIONAL THEATERS

SEND THEM TO BRITISH THEATERS

LONDON WILL LOVE YOUR WORK...

SEND THEM THE UN-PRODUCED PLAYS

YOU HAVE SOME. DON'T YOU?

YES.....

WHICH ONES?

"LOVE IS A TRAMP"

"SORROW AT THE TIME OF ISIS."

"THEATER OF WORDS."

THAT'S THE ANSWER

THE MEAN TIME CHANGE SOME OF YOUR BAD HABITS

EXCERCISE

ONE HOUR WALK EVERY DAY

STAIONARY BICYCLE

LOSE WEIGHT

AND WRITEA HILARIOUSLY FUNNY ONE WOMAN PLAY

AND TRAVEL WITH IT........

TIME IS UP

WE HAVE TO STOP THE SESSION

SEE  YOU NEXT THURSDAY.

THANK YOU

PATIENT EXIT THE THERAPIST'S ROOM


"PRAYER"

NOTE:    THIS SHORT PLAY IS NOT PART OF THE OLD NOTE BOOK OF 2013. IT'S WRITTEN TODAY, MARCH 30 2020

"PRAYER"
BY
BINA SHARIF

copyright:binasharif 2020

A SHORT PLAY

CHARACTERS:

MONA

NOOR

TWO FRIENDS LIVING AT THE TIME OF CORONA VIRUS

MONA:

I HATE PEOPLE

NOOR:

WHY?

MONA:

THE SPITEFUL, IRONIC ATTITUDE TOWARDS THE WORLD AND THE PEOPLE IN THE

WORLD.  THAT'S THE IMPULSE OF ALL THE WEALTHY, POWERFUL PEOPLE TOWARDS

THE POOR, POWERLESS HUMAN BEINGS WHO ARE BEING TREATED WORSE THAN

ANIMALS.  TOTALLY SPITEFUL.  I HATE PEOPLE. I WANT NOTHING WITH THEM.

I NEVER WANT TO DEAL WITH THEM.

NOOR:

THIS KIND OF SITUATION HAS NEVER CHANGED IN THE WORLD.

IT'S BEEN GOING ON SINCE THE DAYS OF ADAM AND EVE.  NOTHING IS GOING TO

CHANGE.  WHY MUST YOU TAKE IT TO HEART?  WHY MUST YOU GIVE YOUR SELF

SO MUCH HEARTACHE?  DO SOMETHING CONSTRUCTIVE IN LIFE.

MONA:

MY HATRED TOWARDS THEM IS CONSTRUCTIVE.

NOOR:

BUT NOTHING IS GOING TO CHANGE BY YOU HATING THEM.  ONLY SUFFERING

WILL COME TO YOU.  YOU How are you?VE TO ACCEPT IT.

MONA:

I CAN'T BELIEVE THAT YOU ARE SAYING THIS.  WE HAVE TO ACCEPT OTHER

PEOPLE'S SUFFERING?  I THOUGHT YOU HAD SOME SOCIAL CONSCIOUS.

NOR:

I DO.  I SUFFERED FOR YEARS BUT NOTHING CHANGED.  THE WORLD IS EVIL

WE KNOW THAT.

MONA:

SO THE WORLD IS EVIL AND WE SHOULD JUST DANCE?  SING ANTHEMS OF JOY AND

SUCCESS AND BE MERRY?

NOOR:

NOT EXACTLY LIKE THAT.  WE HAVE TO HELP, WE HAVE TO TRY OUR BEST TO FEEL

FOR THE DOWNTRODDEN TO SURVIVE .BECAUSE  THERE ARE SO MANY  POOR AND

HUNGRY PEOPLE CREATED BY THE RICH AND POWERFUL.THEY CREATE HUNGER

AND HUNGRY HERDS BECAUSE OF THE NECESSITY FOR THEM TO REMAIN ALWAYS

FILTHY RICH AND THUS POWERFUL

WE HAVE TO TAKE CARE OF THEM, SOMEONE HAS TO.  IF THEY ARE NOT BEING

TAKEN CARED FOR, THERE WILL BE DISEASES AND PLAGUES AND AFTER EFFECTS

OF THE STOLEN WEALTH AND SOME ONE UP THERE IS WATCHING, SOME ONE WHO

HAS OWN SECRETS AND WHO IS PATIENT AND HAD BEEN FOR CENTURIES BUT IS

NOW PISSED AT THE ZALAM, (CRUEL) LEADERS OF THE WORLD WHO HAVE

BROUGHT THE REST OF HUMANITY TO THIS PATHETIC LEVEL AND NEEDS TO BE

TAUGHT A LESSON AND THIS INVISIBLE ENEMY OF ALL HUMANITY IS THE SIGN, IS

THE SYMBOL, IS THE LESSON AND IF WE WHO DARE CALL OUR SELVES HUMAN AND

EQUAL AND JUST (WHAT A LAUGH) DO NOT LEARN NOW AT THE TIME OF THIS

OMINOUS CRISIS THEN IT'S QYIAMAT (END OF THE WORLD, THE APPOCLYPSE)

SOME ONE HAS TO BRING THE ELEMENT OF SPIRITUALITY INTO SOLVING THIS

TRAGEDY BESIDE SCIENCE , RESEARCH AND THE MEDICAL KNOWLEDGE.

FAITH, JUSTIC, HUMANITY, SPIRIT, KINDNESS, EMPATHY, COMPASSION HAS TO COME

INTO THE HEALING PROCESS.

WE ALSO NEED TO TAKE CARE OF OURSELVES, OUR HEALTH, OUR PRODUCTIVITY,

OUR ENERGIES MUST NOT BE SPENT ON HATE. WE NEED TO PRAY.

ESPECIALLY NOW, AT THE TIME OF DISEASE, THIS MONSTER,  THIS INVISIBLE ENEMY

WHICH IS KILLING THOUSANDS...

MONA:

YES, YES, YES, THAT'S WHY I HATE THE SELFISH, THE POWERFUL, THE GREEDY, THE

FILTHY RICH.  THEY WILL SURVIVE THIS VIRUS.  THEY SURVIVE ALL VIRUSES, THEY

SURVIVE THE PLAGUES BECAUSE THEY KNOW HOW TO SURVIVE BECAUSE THEY

CREATE ALL THESE PLAGUES...

NOOR:

DON'T SAY THAT.  THIS TIME THEY ARE SUFFERING TOO AND NO ONE IS EVIL

ENOUGH TO CREATE SUCH HORROR.  THEY THEMSELVES ARE BEING EFFECTED BY

 THIS CONTAGION. IT'S IN THE NATURE...NATURE HAS BECOME THE ENEMY THIS

TIME.

MONA:

YES, IT'S INSIDE NATURE BECAUSE THEY THEMSELVES HAVE DESTROYED NATURE.

THE EARTH IS POISONED WITH BOMBS EXPLODING KILLING MILLIONS, CAUSING

DISEASES,  CANCERS,  CANCERS OF THE SOUL, THE PERMANENT VIRUS CREATED BY

HUMAN BEINGS WITH THE POWER OF THEIR MIGHT AND MILITARY WHICH RUINED

THE EARTH AND TURNED IT INTO BOILING LAVA.

 UNHEALTHY FOOD, WITH INJECTIONS  CAUSED BY THE  DRUGS ADDED TO MAKE IT

LOOK MORE SHINY, MORE BRIGHT, MORE LASTING BUT CAUSING UNKNOWN

ILLNESS...MYSTERIOUS ILLNESS, THE POLLUTION IN THE AIR, THE MASSES

RUSHING AND CRUSHING THE EARTH AND THE HUMANS ON IT...THE INCREDIBLE

RUSH OF GREED AND POWER, THE SUBJUGATION OF THE OPPRESSED, OF THE POOR,

THE CRUELTY OF THE LEADERS, ....

THIS KILLER VIRUS IS THE SIGN OF REVENGE OF NATURE BEING TREATED SO

ABOMINABLY.  IT'S THE PUNISHMENT.  NATURE STOOD UP FINALLY TO DEMAND HER

RIGHT TO EXIST.  NATURE TOLD THEM, "LOOK HOW YOU DESTROYED ME"

"YOU DESTROYED ME TO HAVE MORE DIAMONDS, MORE OIL, MORE BUILDINGS,

MORE...MORE...MORE.

 NOTHING WAS ENOUGH FOR YOUR GREED, FOR  YOUR CONTROL.  YOU ALWAYS

WANTED MORE, MORE, MORE.  WHAT WILL FINALLY QUENCH YOUR THIRST?

WHAT WILL MAKE YOU LESS HUNGRY.

YOU HAVE IT ALL.

YOUR SHARE AND THE REST OF THE WORLD'S SHARE.

WHAT WILL MAKE YOU HAPPY?

NOTHING, I GUESS.

SO DEAL WITH ME NOW...DEAL WITH ME...I AM HERE BUT YOU CAN'T SEE ME.

THATS MY BEAUTY.

THATS MY POWER

YOU CAN'T BOMB ME

YOU CAN BOMB EVERY MOVING CREATURE BUT YOU CAN'T BOMB ME

I SLEEP WITH YOU

I WAKE UP WITH YOU

I EAT WITH YOU

I DRINK WITH YOU

I SIT WITH YOU

I AM HERE

BUT YOU CAN NOT SEE ME

I AM THE INVISIBLE VIRUS

I AM THE INVISIBLE REVENGE.

"LOOK HOW YOU PLUCKED MY COLORS AND TURNED IT INTO BLOOD."  NATURE

TOLD THEM, "LOOK HOW YOU HAVE MUDDIED MY FLOWERS?  HOW YOU DIDN'T

LEARN THE LESSON WHEN I BROUGHT THE DEADLY STORMS, THE FIRES,  WHEN I

BURNT YOUR FORESTS, YOU DIDN'T PAY ATTENTION,  YOU KEPT YOUR CRUELTY

GOING, YOU EAT CAVIAR AND DRANK CHAMPAGNE AND KEPT DANCING IN YOUR

MANSIONS, YOU KEPT FLYING IN YOUR PRIVATE JETS.  DID YOU EVER SEE THE

HOMELESS ON THE GROUND FROM YOUR JETS?  DID YOU SEE THE GHETTOS WHICH

YOU CREATED ALL OVER MY PLANET?  DID YOU STOP FOR A MOMENT TO THINK OF

THE SUFFERING OF THE EARTH?  SUFFERING OF HUNGRY?  SUFFERING OF SICK

CHILDREN?  POVERTY ALL OVER THE PLANET WHICH YOU CREATED BY YOUR

GREED?

HOW COME YOU NEVER STOPPED FOR A FRACTION OF A SECOND TO THINK OF THE

OTHER?  THE OTHER YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW, THE OTHER YOU AVOID LIKE

PLAGUE?

NOW THE PLAGUE IS IN YOUR HOUSE, IN YOUR GARDEN, IN YOUR YACHTS,  IN YOUR

PLANES,  IN YOUR CLUBS,  IN YOUR CONCERT HALLS,  IN YOUR MOUNTAINS,  IN

YOUR GARDENS.

 IN YOUR FURNITURE,  IN YOUR HANDS,  ON YOUR FACES....

ARE YOU HUMBLE NOW? ARE YOU HUMBLE NOW?  ARE YOU?  PRAY.

WHAT ARE YOU WAITING FOR?

 PRAY FOR FORGIVENESS FOR YOUR SINS...ASK FOR FORGIVENESS.

ARE YOU SENSITIVE TO OTHER HUMAN BEINGS SUFFERING NOW?

ARE YOU GOING TO BE CIVIL?

ARE YOU GOING TO TREAT EVERY ONE ON THIS EARTH AS YOU WOULD LIKE TO BE

TREATED? YOU SAY, "WE ARE ALL IN IT TOGETHER."  ARE YOU?  ARE YOU?  ARE

YOU?  ARE YOU GOING TO LEARN A FINAL LESSON?  ARE YOU GOING TO LESSEN

YOUR GREED? YOUR CRUELTY?  YOUR WARS?   YOUR TREATMENT OF OTHER

HUMAN BEINGS WHO HAVE LESS DIAMONDS THAN YOU?

 LESS MANSIONS THEN YOU,?LESS BANK BALANCE THEN YOU?

ARE YOU?  ARE YOU?  ARE YOU?

IF YOU ARE NOT,   I,  THE NATURE WHO BROUGHT THIS VIRUS, THIS INFECTION, THIS

DEATH TO YOU WILL NEVER GO AWAY...IF YOU DO NOT LEARN THE LESSON TO BE

HUMAN NOW,  THE PLAGUE WILL NEVER GO AWAY TILL ALL OF YOU ARE WIPED

OFF FROM THE FACE OF THIS EARTH.

NOOR:

LIFE IS SUCH A TRAGEDY

MONA:

LIFE IS GOOD, LIFE WAS GOOD TILL WE THE EVIL HUMAN MADE IT INTO A

CATASTROPHE FOR ALL OF US, FOR THE WHOLE HUMAN RACE

NOOR:

WHAT NEED TO BE DONE NOW?

MONA:

WE NEED TO PRAY, PRAY AND PRY FOR FORGIVENESS FOR NOT SEEING

THE REST OF HUMANITY AND IT'S SUFFERING.   WE NEED TO CHANGE, COMPLETELY

CHANGE.  WE NEED TO LEARN FROM THIS ILLNESS AND ASK THE POWER ABOVE

FOR FORGIVENESS.

NOOR:

LET'S US PRAY.  THE MOAZZAN IS CALLING, CALLING THE FAITHFUL TO BOW DOWN

TO THE ONLY POWER WHO CAN HEAL, ALMIGHTY GOD.  LET US PRAY BEFORE THE

SUN GOES DOWN.  I HEARD THAT THIS TIME OF THE DUSK THE PRAYERS ARE

ALWAYS BEING HEARD.

(THEY BOTH PRAY, GO INTO SAJDA)






































Monday, March 23, 2020

LITTLE BIT FROM THE OLD NOTEBOOKS, NOTE BOOK OF JULY 2013

LITTLE BIT FROM THE OLD NOTEBOOKS, NOTE BOOK OF JULY 2013

I HAVE TO GO TO A CAFE TO THINK.  BS

I WATCHED BROKE BACK MOUNTAIN LAST NIGHT

"LURE OF THE WEST

ATTACHMENT TO HOME

FAMILY

AND

LOVE OF SPICE"   (CONFLICT HAS BEEN CREATED ALREADY). BS

"ONE PART OF LIFE IS FREEDOM

THE OTHER PART IS LOVE OF FAMILY

WARMTH OF THE YOUR OWN HOME

FREEDOM ALONE CHOKE YOU OBLIVION

WHEN YOU DON'T HAVE THE OTHER PART OF LIFE...

WHEN YOU THOUGHT YOU WERE UNFREE

OR THE PART YOU THOUGHT WAS, "UNFREE"

AT THAT TIME.

"VALUE OF A LIFE OF SENSATIONS."  ANNONYMUS
-------------------------------------------------------------------------

UGLY DRAWING

WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?

WHAT DOES THE DRAWING MEANS?

WHO KNOWS

IT'S PRETTY UGLY

I KNOW---I AM INTO UGLY ART THESE DAYS
----------------------------------------------------------------

SHE IS A HOST OF A COMEDY SHOW

SHE INVITES GUESTS ON HER SHOW

GUESTS IMITATES STARS

SUCH AS JERRY LEWIS

JACKI MASON

THOMAS MITCHELL

RICHARD BURTON

NIGHT SCENES:

NIGHTNARES

PRESENCE OF SNAKES

KNIVES
SWORDS
PISTOLS

THREATENING

FATALISTIC NIGHTMARES

COMEDY SHOW HOST IS A CULTURAL CRITIC

DOES A MONOLOGUE ON, "INTERNET DATING"

ORGANIC FOOD

COMMODITY ORGANIC FOOD STORE

GET YOUR MONEY BACK

THE FOOD IS NOT ORGANIC

CHICKEN VERY SMELLY

GO GET THE CREDIT

COOKING

EATING

GO TO DO THE COMEDY SHOW

TRYING TO BE HEALTHY TOD OTHE COMEDY SHOW

BUT NO COMEDY SHOW HAPPENS

ONLY THE NIGHTMARES OF THE NIGHT

INVITATION TO DREAMS

DREAMS TURNING INTO NIGHTMARES

"A MEMORY PLAY"
BY
BINA SHRAIF
------------------------------------------------------------------------------

MURDERS

HUSBANDS KILLING WIVES

WIVES KILLING CHILDREN

STUDENTS KILLING STUDENTS

FATHERS KILLING SONS

FATHER KILLING ALL THE CHILDREN,

THE WIFE

AND THEN HIMSELF."

THE END.

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

THAT'S CALLED, COMEDY NIGHT LIVE"

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

CAFE

NEWS PAPERS

TEA

READ ABOUT THE CURRENT MURDERS

TAKE NOTES FOR FUTURE PROJECTS

HAVE EXPRESSO

TRIALS

PROSECUTORS

DEFENC LAWYERS

DEFFENDENT

THE JUDGE

TAKE NOTES FOR FUTURE PROJECTS

PUT EVERYTHING IN, "COMEDY NIGHT LIVE."

-----------------------------------------------------------------------

OBSERVATIONS
------------------------

IT'S  OVER

IT'S ALL OVER

DON'T WORRY ABOUT IT

DONE AND DUSTED
------------------------------------

FAT WOMEN EATING

EATING DONUTS

GOING DUTCH

FIGHTING OVER THE BILL
--------------------------------------------

WAITRESS PRETTY FIT

GOES TO THE GYM

FOR SURE

AFTER WORK

HUSBAND DOESN'T WORK

WAITRESS SUPPORTS HER HUSBAND

A BIG MISTAKE
-----------------------------------------------------

ALWAYS WAS STANDING AT THE THRESHOLD

OF HIS FORTUNES".   Mozart
-------------------------------------------------

"ABANDON EVERYTHING

AALL GREED

ALL JEALOUSY

COMPETION

ALL MISERY

THEN BEGIN ONLY WITH THE

GREAT DESIRE AND GREAT PASSION."  BS
-----------------------------------------------------------

"ATTEMPT AND NOT THE RESULT

SHOULD BE THE GOAL."  BS
----------------------------------------------------

YOU SHOULD LOVE YOUR WORK

AND HAVE CON
CONVICTION OF YOUR TALENT
__________________________________

MOZART

"ILL AND FULL OF GRIEF"

"I AM AT THE MOMENT SO UTTERLY PENNILESS.  1790, DIED IN 1791
--------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------------

JUST FORGET IT

LET IT GO

LET IT GO

WHATEVER IT IS

JUST LET IT GO.  BS
-----------------------------------------------

GRIEF

DELAYS

RECOVERY

RECOVERY OF ALL KINDS..BS
--------------------------------------------

"AT PRESENT I AM IN WANT"  ?
---------------------------------------------

"UNHAPPY PEOPLE ALWAYS SAY

THAT NO ONE IS HAPPY."  BS
-------------------------------------------------

"ABANDON YOURSELF?

NOT A GOOD IDEA
----------------------------------------

"NOW A STICK IS MORE SEXY

NOT THE BIG SEXY BEHIND OF MARILYN MONROE" BS
---------------------------------------------------------------------------------

"HE DIED FOR ME."   Joyce, from the dead
----------------------------------------------------------

"INSATIABLE PASSION

TO SEE AND FEEL".  Baudelaire
----------------------------------------------------

"NOTHING IS UNIQUE

EXCEPT THE TRANSITORY".  ?
----------------------------------------------

BAUDELAIRE ASSOCIATE BEAUTY

NOT ONLY WITH THE STANGE

BUT WITH MELANCHOLY AND

HORROR AS WELL
------------------------------------------

N TRAIN TO CORTLAND STREET
----------------------------------------------

"ILLUMINATIONS AND OTHER

PROSE POEMS BY RIMBAUD
------------------------------------------

I WAS ENJOYING MY READING

AND THEN SHE CAME

AND CHATTED LOUDLY ON HER PHONE

FOR AN HOUR

PART OF THE AFTER NOON COMPLETELY WASTED.
-----------------------------------------------------------------------

I WAS READING,

ILLUMINATIONS AND OTHER PROSE

POEMS BY RIMBAUD
-------------------------------------------------

I WILL GO BACK TO IT TOMORROW

CAN'T CONCENTRATE WITH HER SHOUTING

IN MY EARS.
---------------------------------------------------------

ILLUMINATIONS
AND
OTHER PROSE POEMS
BY
RIMBAUD


"IT WOULD TAKE LONGER

FOR THE TURN OF KINDNESS

TO COME AGAIN."

"AMOROUS SADNESS OF THE NIGHT."

"AS FOR ME I WAS ABANDONED

WITHOUT END."

"BUT YOU WILL JUST END UP

SELF SATISFIED WITHOUT HAVING

DONE ANYTHING, NOT HAVING WANTED

TO DO ANYTHING."



"HIS SOUL AND HIS HEART,

ALL HIS STRENGTH, WERE

TAKEN UP WITH ABERRATIONS,

STRANGE AND SAD."


"WHO WILL RECALL THE

CONTINUOUS SLEEP OF THE LEGENDARY

MOHAMMEDANS, BRAVE THOUGH

AND CIRCUMCISED."


"SO ANGUISHED FILLED ME."

"A NAMELESS ANGUISH."
---------------------------------------------

"PLEASE GET IT OUT OF YOUR HEAD

THE ANGUISH."  BS
--------------------------------


"AND YET ALWAYS

MY EXHAUSTION RETUNED."


"SHE BELONGED TO HER

EVERYDAY LIFE."
---------------------------------------


"ESSENTIAL TO EXIST."   BS
--------------------------------------


"SHE IS NOT INTO ANY OTHER

PHILOSOPHY OF LOVE OR PROTOCOL

OF DECENCY OR REFINEMENT."


"IT WOULD TAKE LONGER FOR

THE TURN OF KINDNESS TO COME AGAIN"
--------------------------------------------------------

"GET YOUR HEAD CLEANSED OF

ALL THIS USELESS NONSENSE AND

READ RIMBAUD.".....BS
-----------------------------------------------

DID NOTHING THE REST OF THE DAY."
-------------------------------------------------------  BS

"GO BACK TO THE PROSE POEMS OF RIMBAUD.  BS.
-----------------------------------------------------------------

"AS FOR ME

I WAS ABANDONED

WITHOUT END."

"AMOROUS SADNESS OF THE NIGHT."

"THE STUPIDEST,

ROTTEN,

MEANEST...

I SERVE UP TO THEM."


"BUT YOU WILL JUST END UP SELF-SATISFIED

WITHOUT HAVING DONE ANYTHING,

NOT HAVING WANTED TO DO ANYTHING."


"I WANT TO BE A POET,

AND I AM WORKING TO MAKE

MYSELF A VISIONARY.

TO ARRIVE AT THE UN-KNOWN

THROUGH THE DISORDERING

OF ALL THE SENSES.

TE SUFFERING WILL BE TREMENDOUS

BUT ONE MUST BE STRONG,  BE BORN

A POET, IT IS IN A WAY MY FAULT."


"I IS SOMEONE ELSE"


"I WITNESS THE BIRTH OF MY THOUGHTS,

I LOOK AT IT.  I LISTEN TO IT."


"THE FIRST STUDY FOR A MAN WHO

WANTS TO BE A POET

IS THE ENTIRE  KNOWLEDGE OF HIMSELF"


"ONE MUST, I SAY BE A VISIONARY,

MAKE ONESELF A VISIONARY."


"YOUR INVENTIONS SHOULD BE

 SMELLED,

FELT,

AND

HEARD."


"UNNAMEABLE,

UNUTTERABLE,

INNUMBERABLE

THINGS."


"PERFUMES,

SOUNDS,

COLORS,

THOUGHS,

GRAPPLING THOUGHT

AND PULLING."


"WHEN THE INFINITE

 SERVITUDE OF WOMEN

SHALL HAVE ENDED,

WHEN SHE WILL BE

TO LIVE BY AND FOR HERSELF.

THEN,MAN-HITHERTO ABOMINABLE

HAVING GIVEN HER HER FREEDOM,

SHE TOO WILL BE A POET."


"UNE SAISON EN ENFER

'A SEASON IN HELL."


"A HEART BREAKING CONFESSION

NOT OF FAITH BUT OF FAILURE."  (from une saison en enfer"

"ONE DOES NOT FINISH

ONE ABANDONS>"


"SINCE HE CULTIVATED HIS SOUL

RICHER TO BEGIN WITH THAN ANY OTHER."


"DRAGGED FROM CAFE

TO SCHOOL ROOM-

ONE IS FINISHED." ?


"NATIVE DEVIOUSNESS". (Verlains ?)


"FINAL REPUDIATION OF HIS PAST

AND A SIGN OF GRACE."  ?
----------------------------------------------------


"HOW CAN YOU FLIRT OVER BEER?"  BS

A:

"I SHOULD GO FOR A WALK

IT WILL DO ME GOOD.

B:

"ARE YOU SURE ABOUT THAT?"

A:

"NOT SO SURE-BUT CAN'T CAUSE

MORE HARM THAN SITTING."  BS


C:

"DON'T BE SILLY

D:

"WHY NOT?

C:

WHAT'S THE POINT TO BE SILLY?

D:

"WHAT'S THE POINT NOT TO BE."   BS

E:

ACTUALLY I WAS JUST LEAVING"

F

"GOING FOR A WALK?

E:

NO, ACTUALLY NOT.

TOO MUCH EFFORT TO

GET TO THE RIVER."  BS


"OH! MY GOD!

OH! MY GOOD LORD!

HAVE MERCY ON MY SOUL."  BS

"CAUGHT SOMETHING...

SOMETHING .....

VAGUE

BUT SOMETHING."  BS

"WHO KNOWS...

WHO KNOWS...

NO ONE KNOWS ABOUT A MINUTE

OF THEIR FUTURE "     BS

"A HEART BREAKING CONFESSION OF FAILURE."  BS

"MY DAY, TODAY WAS TOO MUCH.

I HOPE IT HAS PSSED...

NOT YET-----NOT YET."  BS

"NOTHING IS REAL EXCEPT HUNGER."  BS

WEARINESS DRAGS ME DOWN"   BS

"GLENDA JACKSON GAVE UP ACTING.

"ITS ENOUGH."

SHE SAID."   BS


"I DON'T EXACTLY KNOW

WHAT SHE SAID...

BUT I THINK THATS EXACTLY

WHAT SHE SAID.

"ITS ENOUGH."

THATS WHTA SHE SAID"
----------------------------------------------

LISTEN, NO-NO-NO YOU ARE

NOT MENTALLY ILL---I AM.  BS
----------------------------------------------


MARAT SADE

"THE GUTTER IS DEEP AND RED."  P WEISS

"CLIMB UP

CLIMB UP

AND RIDE ALONG WITH ME."   PW

"BUT SHE NEVER SAID,

A WORD

NEVER TURNED HER HEAD."   PW

"SACRIFICE PEOPLE MADE

TO KEEP YOU FAT."   PW

"LOOTED LIVES-

SECRET DEALS."  PW

"BASIS OF ALL LIFE IS DEATH."  PW

"NATURE HERSELF WOULD WATCH

UNMOVED-

IF WE DESTROYED THE ENTIRE

HUMAN RACE."     PW

"THIS PASSIONLESS SPECTATOR,

THIS UNBREAKABLE ICEBERG FACE."  PW

"IMAGE OF THEIR HELPLESSNESS

IMAGE OF CHRIST."      PW

"POST REVOLUTIONARY MURDERS."   PW

"SUFFER, FOR IT;S THE WILL OF GOD."  PW

"IMPORTANT THING IS TO PULL YOURSELF

UP BY YOUR OWN HAIR."   PW

"TURN YOURSELF ISIDE OUT."  PW

"PRAY FOR THOSE

WHO TORTURE YOU."    PW

"NO CAUSE, NO SACRIFICE

ONLY YOU

YOURSELF."    PW

"BEFORE DECIDING WHAT IS WRONG

AND WHAT IS RIGHT---WE MUST FIND OUT

WHAT WE ARE."     PW

"WHAT WE DO IS JUST A SHADOW

OF WHAT WE WANT TO DO."  PW
--------------------------------------------


"MOVING FORWARD

TOWARDS WHAT?"    BS

"WHERE ARE WE GOING?

UPTOWN

TO DO WHAT?

JUST TO GO UPTOWN."   BS

A:

"HOW EXTREMELY DEPRESSED CAN YOU GET?

B:


PLEASE CREATE SOME LIMITS

OF DEPRESSION.

AFTER A CERTAIN DEGREE

YOU HAVE TO STOP YOURSELF

TO GO THERE.  YOU MIGHT NEVER COME BACK.  BS

"HATRED?

SELF PITY

HATRED OF SELF PITY....

DO USELESS STUFF

BETTER THAN SELF PITY AND HATRED

DO USELESS STUFF

EVENTUALLY EVERYTHING IS USELESS."   BS

"WHAT A WASTE OF LOVE."   BS

"LOVE WASTED...WASTED...WASTE OF LOVE

LOVE AND IT'S EVENTUAL WASTE."   BS

"EVENTUALITY OF LOVE, LONELINESS,

BIG WORLD, BIG LONELINESS."  BS

"ARE WE DOING ANYTHING?" BS

"CONTEMPORARY, SECULAR WESTERNS

PERHAPS THE MOST DELUDED MORTALS

ON THE PLANET."   ?

"ONE REASON WE TURN TO ART IS

FOR CONTACT WITH OUR DEEPEST REALITIES."  ?









______________________________________________

Sunday, March 22, 2020

I MISS YOU

I MISS YOU

EVERY DAY I SAY
I MISS YOU...
I WILL COME AND VISIT YOU
EVERY DAY I BREAK MY PROMISE

THEN I SAY AGAIN
"I MISS YOU"
'I WILL COME TO YOU"
EVERY DAY I BREAK MY PROMISE

I HAVE A PROBLEM
LACK OF DISCIPLINE
ACTUALLY
NO DISCIPLINE AT ALL...

THEN WHY DO I SAY
EVERY DAY
THAT I WILL VISIT YOU?
BECAUSE I WANT TO...

THEN WHY NOT DO WHAT
I SAY
I DON'T KNOW
I REALLY DON'T

JUST TO STRESS MYSELF
I GUESS
BUT NOT KEEPING MY WORD
GIVES ME MORE STRESS

STRESS WILL MAKE ME SICK
YES, I GOT SICK
HAVE BEEN SICK
FOR 12 DAYS

NO, NOT CORONAVIRUS
THANK GOD
IT'S THE SICKNESS
OF THE MIND

LACK OF
WILL POWER
YES, THATS IT
LACK, LACK, LACK...

LACK OF WILL POWER
LACK OF ASSERTIVE BEHAVIOR
NEED TO SUFFER
UN-NECESSARILY

I DO COME
TO YOUR NEIGHBORHOOD
I DO THINK OF
SEEING YOU

BUT THEN I GET
EXHAUSTED
FROM MY OWN MIND

AND GO BACK
AND DO SOMETHING ELSE
SOMETHING MEANINGLESS
JUST LIKE

THE MORNING
I SPEND IN YOUR AREA
AND NEVER KNOCKED
AT YOUR DOOR

THEN PROMISED MYSELF
I WILL DO IT TOMORROW
THE MOMENT I AM NEAR YOU
I WILL VISIT YOU...

THEN I DON'T DO IT
I WONDER WHAT'S
WRONG WITH ME?
WHAT EVER I WANT TO DO...

I DON'T DO
THAT IS NOT
ONLY SAD
BUT DISTURBING

VERY DISTURBING
EITHER I SHOULD STOP
WISHING TO SEE YOU
CHAT WITH YOU

EXPRESS MY THOUGHTS
WITH YOU
OR I SHOULD
DO WHAT I SAY

CALL ON YOU
IT SEEMS LIKE
AN EMERGENY
BUT STILL I FAIL

SOMETHING IS WRONG
I WONDER...
YES, DARLING
SOMETHING IS VERY WRONG

STOP IT
JUST STOP IT
YOU ARE SMARTER
THAN THAT

IS THIS A GAME
YOU ARE PLAYING?
WHO ARE YOU PLAYING
WITH?

WHO ARE YOU
PLAYING
AGAINST?
WHO?

AGAINST YOUR SELF
YOU ARE IN A BATTLE
AGAINST
YOURSELF

WHAT HAPPENED?
HOW DID YOU
LOSE CONTROL?
OR YOU NEVER HAD IT

CONTROL I MEAN
NEVER HAD CONTROL
PESSIMISTIC EMOTIONS
IS THE CAUSE

THEN STOPP WISHING
STOP THE YEARNING
CAN'T
WHY NOT?

YEARNING IS THE ONLY
POSITIVE THING I HAVE
WITHOUT YEARNING
I WILL DIE

FULFILL YOUR PROMISE
TO YOUR SELF
FOR SELF RESPECT
TO YOURSELF

YOU WILL LIVE
MUCH LONGER
HAPPIER
THAN EVER...

YES, I WANT
TO BE HAPPY
I WANT TO VISIT
YOU...

MAYBE?
TOMORROW
I WILL
MAYBE?

PROMISE?
NO...
PROMISES ARE NEVER KEPT
BY ME...

NOT REALLY TRUE
I DO KEEP MY PROMISES
ONLY WITH
YOU I HAVE

SOME CONFLICTS
OF SOME KIND
UNRESOLVED
BUT ATTACHED LIKE A KNOT...

TO MY GUT
GIVES ME JOLTS
OF DISRESPECT
I AM WEEK

BUT I AM STONG
AS WELL
SOME KIND OF FEAR
COMES IN THE WAY

BLOCKS MY DESIRE
EVERY DAY
I HAVE THE DESIRE
EVERY DAY...

I DON'T RUSH
TO FULFILL IT
PEOPLE DO
WHAT EVER THEY SAY

I HARDLY
KEEP UP
WITH MYSELF
IN CERTAIN WAYS

I STAND
IN MY WAY
I AM FARIAD
NO, NOT OF YOU

NO, NOT AT ALL
I AM VERY FOND OF YOU
I KNOW
IT WILL ...

BRING ME SOME
KIND OF PEACE
SOME KIND OF
HAPPINESS

MAYBE, I AM AFRAID
OF HAPPINESS
BUT I AM NOT...
I AM JUST

STANDING STILL
WISHING...WISHING
HOPING...HOPING
TO COME TO YOU

TOMORROW...
YES,
TOMORROW
TOMORROW...

TOMORROW
I WILL VISIT
YOU
TOMORROW

I PROMISE
IT'S GOOD FOR ME
TO VISIT YOU
TOMORROW

TOMORROW I WILL
I PROMISE...
TOMORROW
WILL BRING

 ME TO YOU
AND
FROM THEN ON...
I WILL VISIT YOU

EVERY DAY...
EVERY DAY...
EVERYDAY
WITHOUT FAIL...

BECAUSE
I MISS YOU
I MISS YOU
I MISS YOU SWEETHEART...






Friday, March 6, 2020

SYBIL'S DESPAIR PART 5

SYBIL'S DESPAIR PART 5

A NEW PLAY
BY BINA SHARIF
AT THEATER FOR THE NEW CITY
SEPT 17 TILL OCT 4 2020
THURSDAY---SATURDAY 8PM
SUNDAY 3PM

CHARACTERS

SYBIL
THERAPIST NI 1
THERAPIST NO 2
THERAPIST NO 3

TIME PRESENT
PLACE: NYC

FIRST SCENE

ACTORS IN BLACK OUT WITH TORCH LIGHTS WANDERING AROUND AS IF LOOKING FOR SOMETHING
VIVALDI MUSIC IS PLAYING

THEY ROAM AROUND FOR A WHILE, THEN COME INTO THE CENTER IN A SEMI CIRCLE AND FLASH LIGHTS ON EACH OTHER'S FACES AND SEEING ALIENS
LOOK ALIKE SCREAM LOUD AND LONG WITH FEAR...
THEY LEAVE

SCENE ;2

PROLOGUE:    SYBIL CENTER STAGE, SPOT LIGHT

"DEAD PEOPLE, "WHEN I WAS ALIVE I WENT TO MANY MANY THERAPISTS BESIDE HAVING MANY OTHER MISHAPS BUT NOTHING REALLY WORKED.

SCENE: 3

SYBIL AND THERAPIST NO :1

SCENE : 4

  SYBIL'S DREAM:         SYBIL CENTER STAGE, SPOT LIGHT

SCENE: 5

HARVARD YARD:  SYBIL AND SAMMY

SCENE: 6

ANOTHER ACTOR'S DREAM

SCENE: 7

SYBIL AND THERAPIST NO : 2

SCENE;  7

ANOTHER DREAM BY ANOTHER ACTOR

SCENE: 8

ANOTHER HAPPY DAY:  SYBIL AND SAMMY

SCENE: 9

A SHORT DREAM BY ANOTHER ACTOR

SCENE: 10

SYBIL AND THERAPIST NO:3

END OF PLAY?


Wednesday, March 4, 2020

MORNINGS AND EVENINGS

MORNINGS AND EVENINGS

PROBLEMS

SELF CREATED
LACK OF WILL POWER
SELF DESTRUCTIVE INSTINCTS
DESPAIR
DEEP, DEEP DESPAIR OF AN UNKNOWN ORIGIN
WAKING UP WITH A HEAVY HEART
GOING TO BED WITH A HEAVY HEART
CAUSE?
UNKNOWN
UNKNOWN TO ME
BUT MY HEART SINKS
IN THE MORNING AND IN THE EVENING
CAUSE
UNKNOWN
UNKNOWN TO ME
FEAR
FEAR OF SOMETHING
THAT SOMETHING NOT KNOWN
NOT KNOWN TO ME
NEED TO GET OUT IN THE MORNING
RIGHT AWAY GET OUT
TO GET SOME FRESH AIR
TO WALK
TO THINK
TO NOT LET THAT SINKING HEART OVERPOWER ME
NEED TO GET OUT, TAKE A WALK IN THE EVENING
NOT TO LET THAT SINKING FEELING GET A HOLD OVER ME
BUT CAN'T SEEM TO DO IT
CAN'T GET OUT RIGHT AWAY IN THE MORNING
EVENING?
HAVEN'T TRIED YET
TRY
TRY TO GO FOR A WALK AROUND THE PARK
IN THE MORNING AND EVENING
FORCE YOURSELF
DO NOT SIT
DO NOT SIT TO LOOK AT THE NEWS ON THE COMPUTER
THE SAME NEWS YOU WATCHED LAST NIGHT WHILE SITTING ON THE SOFA
IT'S FROM THE SOFA TO THE CHAIR
FROM ONE ROOM TO ANOTHER
GET OUT OF THE APT
NOT GOOD TO BE SITTING
AND SITTING FOR SO LONG
ESPECIALLY WITH THAT SINKING FEELING
NO TEA IN THE MORNING
IF THAT CUP OF TEA IS MAKING YOU SIT AND LOOK AT THE NEWS
WHY ARE YOU SO INTERESTED IN AMERICAN NEWS?
WHAT DO THEY DO FOR YOU?
NOTHING
COME TO THINK OF IT
NOTHING
ABSOLUTELY NOTHING
THEN WHY DO YOU SO DILIGENTLY WATCH TV?
IN THE MORNING AND EVENING
I DON'T WATCH TV IN THE MORNING
I READ ABOUT THE AMERICAN NEWS ON THE COMPUTER
AND IN THE EVENING I WATCH ON TV
WHY?
WHO KNOWS
YOU NEED TO KNOWTO AVOID SOMETHING ELSE
TO AVOID SOMETHING MORE IMPORTANT THAN THAT
EXERCISE PERHAPS
EXERCISE WILL, HELP YOU MORE THAN THE NEWS
FOR SURE
THEN WHY DON'T YOU JUST GET OUT AND WALK IN THE MORNING?
WALK IN THE EVENING?
BECAUSE OF DESPAIR
DESPAIR WILL NEVER GO AWAY
YOU NEED TO GET UP, GET PUT AND LEAVE THE DESPAIR OUT IN THE STREET NEXT TO THE GARBAGE BAGS.
SIDE WALKS ARE FULL OF BLACK GARBAGE BAGS
THROW YOUR DESPAIR NEAR THE GARBAGE AND THE GARBAGE TRUCK
WILL PICK IT UP AND IT WILL BE GONE FOR EVER
NOT THAT EASY
NOT THAT EASY AT ALL
EASY SAID THAN DONE...
IT'S NOT SO HARD
ALL YOU HAVE TO DO IS TO GET UP, WEAR YOUR SNEAKERS AND TAKE A WALK
NOT SO EASY
WHY NOT?
WHAT ABOUT THAT CUP OF TEA IN THE MORNING?
WHAT ABOUT IT?
I MAKE THE TEA AND THEN I HAVE TO SIT DOWN TO DRINK IT AND YOU KNOW WHRE I SIT DOWN>?
WHERE?
NEAR THE WINDOW IN THE KITCHEN WHERE MY LAPTAP IS
AND ?
I READ  ABOUT THE SAME NEWS WHICH I  AM ALREADY AM AWARE OF
BY WATCHING TV ON THE PREVIOUS NIGHT
WHY DO YOU DO THAT?
BECAUSE I HAVE THAT SINKING FEELING OF MY HEART OF THAT UNKNOWN
SCARY DESPAIR
WILL THE DESPAIR GO AWAY BY READING THE NEWS IN THE MORNING?
NEVER
WILL THE DESPAIR GO AWAY BY WATCHING THE NEWS AT NIGHT?
NEVER
THEN WHY DO YOU DO IT?
THAT'S THE PROBLEM
THAT'S A MILLION DOLLAR QUESTION
I DON'T HAVE AN ANSWER
YOU WANT TO BE INCLUDED IN AMERICAN PROCESS
WHAT DO YOU MEAN?
YOU ARE HERE, RIGHT?
YOU LIVE IN AMERICA, RIGHT?
YOU ALSO WANT TO BE INVOLVED IN AMERICAN PROCESS
I DON'T WANT TO RUN FOR ELECTION
NOT THAT KIND OF PROCESS
THEN HAT?
YOU WANT TO FEEL THAT YOU ARE PART OF WHAT HAPPENS IN THE COUNTRY YOU LIVE IN...
I DON'T KNOW ABOUT THAT...
YOU WANT TO BE PART OF THINGS CITIZEN'S ARE ALWAYS CONCERNED ABOUT
PERHAPS...
FOR SURE...
THEN WHY THE DESPAIR?
BECAUSE...
WHAT?
REMEMBER, YEARS AGO WHEN YOU CAME HERE AS A STUDENT
AND YOU ALWAYS WORE COLORFUL CLOTHES AND THEY STARTED TO CALL YPOU, "WOMAN OF COLOR?"
I REMEMBER...
YOU TOOK THAT AS A COMPLEMENT BECAUSE YOU THOUGHT IT'S BECAUSE OF YOUR COLORFUL CLOTHES THAT THEY HAVE GIVEN YOU THIS NICK NAME,
"WOMAN OF COLOR." BUT IT WAS NOT BECAUSE OF THAT...
IT WAS THE SIGNAL TO YOU THAT YOU WILL NEVER BE INCLUDED IN THE MAINSTREAM CHOICES AMERICA MAKES, OR IN ANY GROUP OR DEPARTMENT OF INTEREST...IT'S THE WHITE POWER TO CREATE THE NEWS, THE NEWS YOU WATCH,
THE NEWS FROM WHICH YOU ARE EXCLUDED, NEWS OF ALL KIND, POLITICS, ENTERTAINMENT, SOCIAL CLIMBING, EVERYTHING AND ALL THINGS...
THEY TOLD YOU THAT YOU WERE A WOMAN OF COLOR...
THAT MEANT THAT AMERICA HAS GIVEN THEMSELVES THE PERMISSION TO EXCLUDE YOU AND EXCLUDE YOU FROM EVERYTHING YOU MIGHT BE INTERESTED IN...PERIOD
AND YOU HAVE NEVER REALLY ABSORBED THAT MESSAGE WHICH WAS HINTED
AT YOU LONG TIME AGO WHEN YOU WERE A STUDENT...
SO UNDERSTAND IT NOW...
BE SO GRATEFUL NOT TO BE INCLUDED
AND TO BE INCLUDED IN ALL LIES, FAKE, DECEPTIVE INFORMATION, PREJUDICED
PROJECTS, FAVORITISM, AND ALL KINDS OF ,"ISMS"
BE SO VERY HAPPY TO BE EXCLUDED....
BE THRILLED TO BE EXCLUDED
ACCEPT IT
THE MOMENT YOU ACCEPT YOU ILL STOP WATCHING TV, STOP  READING ABOUT THE NEWS ON YOUR LAPTOP IN YOUR KITCHEN AND WON'T GIVE A FUCK ABOUT WHAT IS HAPPENING ON TV............
AND ALL YOUR SINKING FEELINGS, YOUR UNKNOWN DESPAIR WILL JUST VANISH.
BE HAPPY TO BE EXCLUDED
BE PROUD TO BE EXCLUDED
BE GRATEFUL TO BE EXCLUDED
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A LUKE WARM PERSON?
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A WASHED OUT PERSON?
WHY DO YOU WANT TO BE A SHDOW OF WHITENESS?
YOU ARE A UNIQUE WOMAN
A STRONG WOMAN
A PROUD WOMAN
AN ORIGINAL WOMAN
A CREATIVE WOMAN
A COMPASSIONATE WOMAN
AN HONEST WOMAN
A TALENTED WOMAN
YOU CAN'T EVEN IMAGINE HOW TALENTED YOU ARE
DO YOU KNOW HOW TALENTED YOU ARAE?
DO YOU KNOW HOW BLESSED YOU ARE?
DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE A MAJOR SUPPORT SYSTEM BEHIND YOU?
DO YOU KNOW THAT YOU HAVE ALWAYS BEEN TAKEN CARE OF?
YES, YOU HAVE BEEN
BY THE ALMIGHTY GOD, THE GOOD LORD KEEPS A WATCH ON YOU
YOU ARE SUPPORTED BY THE BIGGEST POWER, YOUR ALMIGHTY GOD, YOUR FAITH, YOUR SENSE OF  JUSTICE, YOUR FEEL FOR HUMANITY, YOUR AFFECTION FOR THE ONES LEFT BEHIND, YOUR EMPATHY, YOUR LOVE OF BEAUTY, YOUR LOVE OF POETRY, YOUR APPRECIATION OF GRACE, FOR MERCY, FOR KINDNESS, FOR JUSTICE
TO TOP IT ALL OFF...
ISN'T IT GREAT TO BE EXCLUDED FROM THE INJUSTICE, FROM RACISM, FROM
PREJUDICE, FROM CRIMINALITY, FROM GREED, FROM HATRED?
AND ALL THE NEWS ON TV AND ON THE LAPTOP ARE ABOUT THAT...
SOME ENORMOUS POWER HAS KEPT YOU AWAY FROM THAT CRAP OF FALSEHOOD...

BE THRILLED
BE PROUD
ANNOUNCE YOUR EXCLUSION TO THE WHOLE WORLD AND GET UP
HAVE A CUP OF TEA, YOU ARE ALLOWED TO HAVE THAT CUP OF TEA IN THE MORNING WHICH YOU HAD ALL YOUR LIFE WHEN YOU WERE IN YOUR OWN BEAUTIFUL WORLD, YOUR HOME, YOUR HOME COUNTRY WHERE YOU WERE INCLUDED IN EVERY THING, EVERY LITTLE DETAIL WHICH EVERY CITIZEN SHOULD BE CONCERNED ABOUT...YOU HAD YOUR INCLUSION IN A DIFFERENT WORLD,
IN YOUR OWN WORLD...THIS IS NOT YOUR WORLD
YOU JUST HAPPEN TO BE HERE
YOU NEVER WANT TO BE INCLUDED EVEN IF THAI UNJUST WORLD WANT YOU TO BE...
YOU HAVE BEEN PROUDLY INCLUDED IN YOUR OWN WORLD, IN YOUR OWN
HOME COUNTRY...
HERE YOU MUST BE EXCLUDED...
IT'S BETTER FOR YOU TO BE EXCLUDED
YOU ARE TOO GOOD TO BE INCLUDED IN THIS MAKE BELIEVE TRUTH
LIVE WITH YOUR OWN TRUTH...
GO FOR A WALK IN THE MORNING, GO FOR A WALK IN THE EVENING
AND THINK ABOUT YOUR OWN TRUTH, THE TRUTH, THE REAL TRUTH, THE VALUES
WITH WHICH YOU WOULD LOVE TO LIVE WITH INCLUDED OR NOT...
BE PROUD, BE GRATEFUL, BE THANKFUL THAT YOU ARE NOT PART OF THAT GROUP
PART OF ANY GROUP...
YOU ARE YOUR OWN GROUP.
GOD GRANTED THAT POWER TO YOU...
YOU MUST HAPPILY ACCEPT YOUR EXCLUSION AND ONLY THEN YOUR DESPAIR WILL GO AWAY...IT WILL VANISH.  I PROMISE YOU.
TRY
TRY GOING FOR A WALK INSTEAD OF READING THE NYT IN THE MORNING
GO FOR A WALK INSTED OF WATCHING CNN...
AND YOUR SINKING HEART WILL STOP SINKING AND YOU WILL BE FREE OF THAT
DESPAIR OF NOT BEING INCLUDED.
"YOU SHOULD SHOUT WITH HAPPINESS WHEN YOU ARE WALKING
"I AM SO THRILLED NOT TO BE INCLUDED"
"I AM SO , SO, SO HAPPY TO BE EXCLUDED."
"THATS ALL I WANT.
'EXCLUSION"
"EXCLUSION"
EXCLUSION"