THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

Its a voyage
A ship maybe/
A boat
Or a canoe

The same people are in it
I don't know those people
But I kind of know that they are the same people
People who appeared in my dream before

Some one, a friend I guess has given me some papaers
with some information on it...
And I don't know where he is gone...
I can't seem to find him
But still holding on to the papers
Thinking that they contain dangerous information

Then there are hiddin musical instruments in the ship
Once in a while some one comes, dig in and pick up a horn
Or a violen and begins to play it...
That part of the dream is a nice part

There is no food on the ship
It may not be a ship anyway
Remember that part
Ships are enormous
But this thing we are on is built like a ship
But its not big
Its not even built like a ship
But I don't know what to call it?
Its built like something
I might have seen ornot seen at all
After all its a dream
And things are not what things look like in the real life

Actually in my life the things really do not look
 like the way other people, normal people...
Describe things
The things in my life are more abstract
Symbols if you may call it
Symbyls...of life..of death..of distortion...of surrealism...

Yes, thats the word...
Surrealism
I like this word
I use it a lot in my real life.....

So the person who asked me to hold onto those papers comes back
I give him back the papers
'Whats in them?" I ask
'Nothing of importance"  He says
"They look kind of important"  I ask
"no, not really"  He says
"What does that mean?  Not really?"  I ask
"JUst papaers with some drawings on it."  He says
"What kind of drawings?"  I sak
Now I am really curious
"What kid of drawings?"
I repeat myself
'I am an artist"  He says.  "These are my drawings"
"Oh! really"  I say
I am suspicious
But that I am
In my life during the day time
I have become suspicious of everyone
Everyone I say....

Not a very good way to pass the day
But tahts how it is
Actually thats how it has become
I trust no one
No one I say
To me they are all agents
Agents of some kind
Agents of some sort

There are a few catagories
But they are all suspicious
All leaders, all politians, all journalists, all artist, all teachers, all justice people
Justice?  Thats for sure is suspicious

When you are not popular
They make up a script
And they are great in writing that script
They tell the world a story about you
That the stupid world always believe...
Then they call it, "Justice"  'Justice is done."  They say
We took care of the problem

To me every one in the world is a problem, me included
Because we are in the world and the world is a big problem
The same story over the decades and Centuries repeat itself
Just the new writers, different names, same story
There is a bad guy
and then there is a good guy

That bad guy can be a country,
A people,
A religion,
A color of skin,
A gender,

Pick one ...
And for some decades that is the bad guy
Eliminate that group and then pick another group
Write a scenario
And pick on thst group
And then destroy him..the country, the religion
And then make upanother story and pick on another bad guy....
Ad thats how it goes
Thats how it goes.

The good guy have great writers
They write a script
Very ominous, very scary
People believe that fiction to take care of their fear
And the good guy is allowed to do whatever
 to eliminate that fear till a new fear is introduced
And the same story with different names,
 different localas and different interests surfaces....

Thats my real life...
You call it paranoia
But I don't care
Do I care what you call it?
I don't....

Maybe I have become a sick person
But I do live in the world which is much sicker thatn me...
If the world was good, kind, humble, without evil, without killings
Would I be dreaming the same kind of
scary, deadly dreams night after night after night?

"Oh! its my fault."
'Oh! I see....Its my fault...my dream is my fault....
Yes, you are right, my birth is also my fault...
Off course according to you, biggots, we should have never been born
So you would then have a snowy White Christmas...
With everything pink and white and pure and nice
And then you would have to get rid of your script writers
and all your liberals shouting and
your conservatives shouting all the time....

They don't even get a fucking sour throat....
We, the poor slobs have one loud arguments withe biggots
and racists of the world and lose our voice completely
We can't talk for a month....

I guess the liberals on Tv and conservatives on tv all have trained voices...
They are all opera singers....
We need to train our voices if we talk about any kind of justice or truth....
But no way...
The big shots are happy if we lose our voice....
So they can shout....all night...
Give you a big fat headache and then you try to sleep
and then come the horror...
Of something you dare call it a, "DREAM"

I mean how boring is that if you turn MSNBC,
 you know they are going to talk good of Hillary
And if you turn the, "FOX tv station, you know that they are going to talk good of Trump...

Then you go back to MSNBC and you know that they are going to talk bad of Trump
And then you go back to FOX and you know that they are going to talk bad of Hillary....


And after watching this fucking tv debates  that one  gets  soexhusted with a tremendous headache and try and I say
try to go to sleep and then it comes, THE SHADOW OF THE DARK NIGHT.

Maybe in my dreams/nightmares these both groups from MSNBC and FOX become the suspicious, ominous characters shouting and hitting and pushing people in the sea, and murdering them with daggers before they throw them in the sea....

Actually I ust be the only sane person in this fucking world of horror of all kinds that
I am so connected to the reality and light of the day and the darkness of a nightmare during the night...

You can call me whatever you want....but I don't care for you at all....

No, I don't....
I used to
Actually I used to love you and try to seek you out for affection, love, company, conversation, food, coffee, cinema, theater, art galleries............

But no more...
No, no more
You hurt me to such an extent....that I got broken....
I lost myself
But at the same time I lost you....
I lost,"TRUST" in you.......
I did...
Its a sad thing...
I lost, "TRUST" in humanity....
And now I am haunted by demons...
Now you have actually occupied my night............

"OCCUPATION" is a great word....
And the big shots love this word.
They used to 'occupy people's lands
but they have gone further....
They now ,"OCCUPY" peoples souls....

People's souls are not their own.
Others live in themle while dut
Others who we are not familiar with
Others we don't know
Others we don't really like...........
Others who took everything away from us

Our joy, our peace, our laughter, our trust, our existence.............
When your existence depends on the mercy of the EVIL, you have no chance.....

Might as well dream a horrible dream every night....
At least for a little while during the day you try to wake up...................