Identity Crisis

 Identity Crisis

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Helplessness

Catasrophic loss of identity

Shattered Identity

Who are we now?

Do we matter any more?

Humiliation

Incipiant feeling of shame and inferiority

Innocent victims of a western status resentment

To sooth the wounds of trauma, the fears of inferiority?

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Hardness

Sense of purpose

Ruthlessness

Kindness?

A question

The answer: only from my side.

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That represents a strange dignity.

Selfish, Liar, devious, manipulative.

Most of them, at least the ones I know.

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There is an honesty to it,

Performance with a critical thinking.

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THERE IS NO OTHER WAY

I am happy because I want nothing from any one.

I do not care about money, decorations, titles, or distinctions mean

nothing to me. I do not crave praise. I claim credit for nothing.

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A HAPPY MAN

"A happy man is too satisfied with the present to dwell too much on the future." ?

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'Energy can not be created or destroyed, it can only be changed from one form to another.

You can not help but get that reality. Everything is reality and that is all there is to it. Match the

 frequency of the reality you want. " ?

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'Good humor is a state between gaity and un-concern, the act or emanalion of a mind at leisure

to regard the gratification of another." S. Jhonson

"Plans of elegance and schemes of plesure, a sense of professional remove.

"Do not feel emotionally or morally stirred. Keep your eyes open and ears alert." ?

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FEELINGS OF GRIEF

Just try to distract your self from feelings.

As well as people. Say nothing to people, be quiet.

Best thing to do is stay away from them.

Read books.

Walk

Sit on a park bench and observe people

Tell nothing to any one

Don't express any kind of feeling to any one

Especially any kind of grief.

They are not capable to share it and why should they?

That's how they think.

''Why should they share your grief?"

First of all they have no idea what grief is...

So how can they share it?

Also it's not their grief.

It's yours

It's your problem

Your burden...

Deal with it

Or don't,

But don't open your mouth to any one...

Keep quiet

No one can console you

Your grief is huge

They are in a hurry...

They are not used to sharing

Not even a slice of Pizza...

You expect them to share your grief?

What's wrong with you?

Ask your self this question

Begin,

"What's wrong with you?"

Be quiet and take a solitary walk,

And when you are too tired

Sit on a park bench

And talk to the birds...

They will talk back to you.

They will chirp...

They are sharing no matter what ever you are going through...

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SAMUEL JOHNSON

"Good humor is a state between gaity and un-concern, the act or emanalion

of a mind at leisure to regard the gratification of another."

"Planes of elegance and schemes of pleasure."

"Luxury of idleness."

"A man who knows his own fidelity and usefulness is never willing to sink into a companion."

"A man of great qualities should not want ornaments of superficial attracions."

"I write to inquire by what means I may recover my tranquility."

"The day rose and set and the year went round unregarded,

'Had not enlarged either by books or conversation."

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MEMORY PLAY

Dim lighting

Sentimentality

Lack of realism

Yearning

Despair

Passion

Tenderness

Sense of abandonment

Intimacy of the story

Ebbs away

A big beating heart.

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THE STRAIN OF CALLOUSNESS

Nothing matters to you except your control over others,

Your apathy, no matter how urgent the situation is for others.

In the nutshell, others don't matter to you, your niceness is just superficial.

There was no trace of grief in you for any one.

How could you share grief when you had none.

For you it was one more opportunity to be fake.

A dark art. But a fun art for you, fun art of manipulation.

You don't think that any one can understand your game, do you?

Do you think that everyone is stupid?

I guess so. Thats what you think...

For you it's nothing un-usual but your normal day of control of your time,

Control of your enviorment and control over others feelins and intelligence...

But that's the only thing you can't control. Other people's intelligence and feelings...

A sure test of the truth in this lousy world.

You can control your motivation and the lack of it,  your intention and the lack of it, your interests,

Like you come first, other things can wait till eternity but honey you can't control others intelligence...

It's god's gift, people can feel , if not right away, after a while that you come from a fake, insincere

 premise and can't fool anyone after that.

You think that if you keep making un-believable excuses for a long time, things will fade away

and no one will be able to figure it out...

But sweetheart, the lies, the lack of love, the real lack of affection and the truth and hurt speaks it's

 disappointment loudly and then you are completely forgotten finally.

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"Confine yourself to the present.

Only attend to yourself.

Look for the rational ruling look within.

Retire into yourself.

It's characteristic of the rational ruling faculty to be satisfied with its own rightous dealing

 and the pace which that brings."

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 A:" Are you writing poems again?

B:  Just relearning how to hold a pen in my hand and scribble something on a plain white sheet.

A:  Then maybe a poem will be born?"

B:  " YES, IF LUCK FAVORS ME AGAIN."