DIARY OF A THOUGHT PART 2

DIARY OF A THOUGHT PART 2

WORDS...

On a lazy unproductive day

Write something in the form of

monollogues, fragments of poems

poems un-written....

Poems in your heart in the shape of broken,

crushed thoughts...pierced feelings

broken promises...

Happy joyful remorse

Regrets, lack of something

Something haunting your soul

Hurt, anger, love, hatred

Something vague, always troubling

Always vague...

That desire of finding whatever...

You are looking for.

Something which you have lost...

Something which will never come back...

Write about that...

On a sorrowful day,

On an un-productive day

Do an exercise of expression

Instantanious expression...

Impulsive impression

Satirical expression.

Words, words, words...

Geography of words...

Situation of words...

Heart breaking words...

Silently moving, dancing, singing words...

Kind words, sorrowful words...

Aching, heart throbbing words.

Just write, words, words, words on a sad un-productive day.

"YOU THE STRANGER"

Give your warmth to your own poems.

Give your precious time to your own soul.

To your own aching heart.

This way you will save a fortune...

Fortune, in the form of precious gems...

Your poems are your gems...

Your reward in the shape of Oscar Wild's

Topaz, Rubies, Saphires...

And with that kind of reward

You will create poems...

Poems are no less than diamonds

A real fortune created by you and only you

No one else...

That's for sure, no one else...

Be a stranger to the most busy bodies in the world...

Didn't Racine, that great French poet said something like this?

"Its a pity that you waste so much time on trifles."

You, the perfect stranger...

Learn something from Racine.

"YOU TOLD ME."

You told me, "That you are busy."

You told me again that, "You are busy."

Now I don't think of you...

Neither do I miss you...

Now I am always with a book.

If I was with you-I won't be able to concentrate

On Boudelaire, Rimbaud, Camus, Rumi and Rilke...

I am so glad that now I am with my poems.

SISTER

"She for sure lives a better life than you."

And you?

'Think not so much of what you lack"

'As of what you have."

"Be happy for her"

"I am..."

'But he has stolen her from me."

IN A LITTLE WHILE

"In a little while you will have

forgotten everything,

In a little while-everything will have forgotten you."  M-Aurelius

THINGS

"Things which are external to my mind

Have no relation at all to my mind.

Let this be the state of your effects

And you will, and you will stand erect." M-Aurelius

ENTHUSIASM

Some time,

Actually, most of the time,

You meet people who seem very-very nice

And enthusiastic to meet you again...

"Here is my phone number, please call me,

I would love to go out with you for a drink

And talk more..."

"Sure."  You say...

Then, next to their phone number you write little notes,

Such as, "Important." and how did you meet them

 And where did you meet them?

So you won't forget.

And they seem so nice that you won't mind meeting them again.

After a week or so, you call.

They don't pick up...

You leave a text message-reminding them

How you two met...

And tell them that it would be very nice to meet for a drink.

You wait for a week or so and then call again...

Some people won't call at all but an idiot like me,

Give them a second chance...

Because they kind of seemed sincere at that moment...

The moment when we met for the first time...

So you call again, or leave a text message...

Wait a few days...

No response, none.

I always wonder, 

"Why the hell did they give me their phone number so enthusiastically?"

Then you forget about them completely.

But I guess, they forgot about you the moment

They played that sweet little game...

Why do they do that?

I am always curious to know the reason...

PURPOSE OF LIFE

BODY LIFE:  Diet, sleep, excercise

HEART LIFE:  Emotions

SPIRTUAL LIFE:  Ethics-morals.

My life: 

Heart life...full

the other end Spirtual life...full

Bdy life:  missing

CEASED TO EXIST

And when there is silence on the other end...

I know he has ceased to exist.

Everthing else is a lie...

People keep saying, " He is with you."

"He is with you."

"Where is he?" 'Where is he?"

"He is with you."  They say

"He is with me? Where is he?"

"Why can't I see him?"

"Why can't I talk to him?"

"Why doesn't he call me any more?"

MAD

He doesn't remember me

He is mad.

I remember him

I am mad.

MY LOVE

She is beautifully dressed

Pink and silver stripped long dress...

sleeveless-cool

She has nice skin, olive brown

She has a tiny stylish tatoo on her bare back

Dangling bracelets, gold and purple

I know, she can sing...

Her songs must be like the singing birds...

I am sure, she is from the South...

She is my love.

Then I woke up...

She was next to me--

Singing a melodious song.

Then---she was gone.

FINISHED

You see,

It's done.

Finished.

If you didn't start it

It won't come to an end.

It's good to start something and then

Finish it...

But what's the point?

Would this scribble ever make a dollar?

Weel! that's not the purpose

What's the purpose then?

Your page was blank

And now it's full of words.

Words...words...words

Sexy words, soothing words, angry words,

Dancing on the page...

Your own words...

The page full of your own words...

The singing birds...

Creation of your soul...

Worth a million dollars...

Just starts and then finish it.

See, you created something...

Gave birth to something...

Your own...

You own your words.

Precious...isn't it?

What else is better?

Tell me...

What's better?

What else do you want to own than diamonds?

IN THE NAME OF LOVE

In the name of love

You destroyed me

In the name of love,

 the damage was done...

In the name of love,

In the name of love

You hurt my eyes...

I cried...

In the name of love,

My eyes lost the luster

My eyes never smiled again.

In the name of love,

My tears kept flowing...

In the name of love,

I left you...

In the name of love,

I never wanted to see you again...

In the name of love,

I accomplished that.

In the name of love,

I never saw you again!

DUSK

At dusk,

I long for something...

Something I lost...

Something which will never come back...

That something,

I long for at the time

Of that golden dusk...

When people are coming back home...

To be with their loved ones...

You will never come back...

That's what I long for...

For you to come back home...

At the time of dusk...

Come back...

That's what I long for...

SIN

Victor Hugo said, 

"The poet is only limited by his sin."

And I am not a sinner.

WAIT

You made me wait

You made me wait again

You made me wait

You made me wait again...

Why would I come to you?

Give me one good reason...

FRIENDS

Nothing wrong with having friends

It's just that I was the one who loved...

I wasn't loved back.

Why would I now bother?

"Why would I come to you?

Give me one good reason..."

WORK

If you had a very strong will power

And love of your work,

Actually respect for your work,

You could live without most of the people

For a very long time.

CHILDREN

Children are expressive

And un-afraid

Children will talk to any one

And are always ready to listen...

Unless parents have frightened them

Of strangers, especially the strangers with dark skin

Brown eyes and black hair...

Children in the third world countries

Are freeer...than the first world's children...

In the third world, they all have dark skin

And black hair...

Here children have been made frightened

Of someone like me...and I am a chidren's doctor

INVENT BY DURAS

"I invent people

And I talk to them.

Since I have no friends...

I invent enemies...

I talk to the enemies...

I insult them."

PAIN

"If some pain was deadened,

I would force myself

To want some thing, 

However hard it might be."     M. Duras

APATHY

Try to fight apathy

Go out and be away from yourself...

Go out and watch people...

What ever they do

How they behave

Without expectations of any benefit or affection...

Just go out and about...

Don't expect any favors, help or love...

Not even any respect...

Expecting respect is very dangerous 

And will increase your apathy...

That's for sure...

You better respect yourself...

Respect yourself, every second, every minute,

Every day of the month, every month of the year

Leave home with lots of respect for yourself

And come back with even more...

Just be above your wants...

And be productive...

That is the only instrument

Which will take care of your apathy...

It will make apathy fly away like the singing birds

Who migrate to different lands in different seasons.