KULSOOM'S INSTRUCTIONS

KULSOOM'S INSTRUCTIONS

(Kulsoom to Moeen)

KULSOOM::

You have to go to the bathroom. You must need to pee?

MOEEN:

How do you know that?

KULSOOM:

I know

MOEEN:

You are crazy

KULSOOM;

Crazy people always call others crazy

MOEEN:

I  would go to the bath room but that doesn't mean I must pee.
 doesn't mean that I have to pee.going to the bath room?

KULSOOM:

So why are you going to the bath room?

MOEEN:

I wasn't going to go but you said, "that I have to go to the bath room"

KULSOOM:

Yes, I said that.  I said that you have to go to the bath room

MOEEN:

You can say whoever you want but I am not going...

KULSOOM:

You are crazy

MOEEN:

You see-that's the test of a real crazy person.  Crazy person

always think they are normal and the other person is crazy.

Why don't you go to the bath room and pee yourself?

KULSOOM

I don't have to pee...

MOEEN:

So why are you forcing me while you yourself don't want to go?

KULSOOM:

Every one has to pee.

MOEEN:

You too...eventually

KULSOOM:

Yes, me too

MOEEN:

SO?

KULSOOM:

You might pee in your pants if you wait for that, "eventually:

MOEEN

So what I will pee in my pants.  My pants, my pee.  What is it to you

if I pee in my pants?

KULSOOM:

Only sick people we in their pants.  You must be sick.

MOEEN:See crazy people always think that others are crazy as well as sick

KULSOOM:

But you are crazy

MOEEN:

That's your opinion

KULSOOM:

But you are crazy and sick, and that is my opinion

MOEEN:

I don't care about your opinion any longer

KULSOOM:

You should.  You are going to piss in your pants soon.

MOEEN:

Not me.

KULSOOM:

You will soon

MOEEN:

I already did.  You didn't even notice.  That's how smart and observant

you are.  Look under my chair, look, there is a puddle of piss and I did it to

annoy you.  You the sane, the smart, the clever one forcing me to go to the

bathroom.  How dare you?  How dare you order me around?  You have

been ordering me around, calling me crazy since I was born.  You are jealous

of me because I am smarter than you.  I always was.  But you informed mother

and father all day long that I am mad, not well, insane, mad, mad as hell, that

I have affliction of madness in me but I don't have that affliction, the affliction of madness.

You have that.  You, who convinced mother and father about my false so called, 'MADNESS"

You never let me be me.

You always were a control freak, "Get up and do this."  'Get up and do that"

All my life I obeyed you.  All my life I did what you told me to do. But no more.

Never more.

I will sit if I want, I will stand if I want.  I will pee when I want wherever I want.

Look, look at the puddle of my piss...look...I proved it to you that I never ever have to listen

to you any more.  "Go tho the bath room"  "Go pee"  "iIts time for you to pee."

"get up and clean this."  Get up and Vacuum."  'get up and cook."

Now you get up, get up and clean this puddle of my piss.  Get up....(Shouts)

I said, get up and clean the piss.

(Kulsoom, stunned and shocked, gets up and starts to clean.)

THE END OF SCENE