Oh! you are going to write a
Trilogy now?
The same actors?
Friday, January 29, 2010
EROTICISM OF POWER
OR
EROTICISM IS POWER
That creates Violence
What? Power?
Power...Yes
And eroticism?
Also creates Violence of a different kind
What kind?
Murder
In both cases?
Yes, i both cases
So where is the difference/
In the kind of murder....
Power kills Physically
And eroticism?
It kills sexually....
I used to think eroticism saves you
It saves for a few years
And than?
It kills.........
Lots of killing happens in sex clubs
But we are ot talking about that kind of eroticism and Violence
What kind are we talking about than?
In the theater...Eroticism in the theater
Murder in the theater..........
Oh! that's a stunner
It succeeds
It sells
Whatever sells, succeed
The Eroticism was certainly missing in the play
The Violence in the play was missing too....
There should have been some rough sex
Or torture
Or death
But
Actors weren't capable to go through that
Actors were so delicate and fragile like Barbby dolls
With feelings
Getting hurt by not feeling
The most Important thing in the play
They weren't able to portray Eroticism of any kind
They were miserably angry
Small time anger
Not the killer anger
Well that would have made the play
Blood spilling
Red fake blood spilling after the rough leather and chains sex.....
Play would have been successful
And written about in all the mainstream papers
They love Eroticism.....
Go to the after hour Erotic clubs for research
for the part two of the trilogy you might write
But don't forget to put some handsome, naked men on stage
What about women?
They are out
Out of fashion.............All lonely and complaining........
Its the time of handsome young, muscular MEN.................
Sound angry baby?
DEAD BEAT
He is not interested
He is a dead beat
He said, "It must be great to have powerful friends."
She invited him to the opening of a gallery
With live performance art
And he said, "I will go if I am not sick."
"Or, I will just stay home and watch movies."
And she says,"Maybe I will see you later
After the dinner with my friend."
She is lonely
She must be
But he is not going to do anything for her lonliness
He is either going to be sick
Or watch movies silently
She must be desperate like the previous lady
He is certainly depressed
He is un-interested
And she is needy for a man
What for?
Thats the question....
But he is showing no interest in her
Or even in himself
Thats sad
But he is not showing any interest in her....
She is begging to be subservient
No, she is not an Immigrant
She is white, thin, blond and American.............
DESPERATE
The guy is fat
He doesn't care about her
He kept eating when she walked in
He kept eating
He never asked her if she wanted anything
She ordered a glass of red wine on her own
She offered him one also
She said,"She will treat him."
A glass of wine was ten dollars each
He was still eating
And drinking his Ice coffee
So he refused the wine
But he kept eating
Maybe she was just desperate for a man............
FRIENDS
"Take some drawing class
You have lost the hang of it."
'Oh! So you do believe that I did
Have the hang of it before?"
"You used to be better."
"You never told me that"
"I was jealous of you."
"You are not jealous any more?"
"Why should be jealous now?
You have lost the ability."
"You are dangerous...You are not a friend
You are just dangerous."
"You should know that...
We are all competing."
"I thought we were friends."
"There is no friends in the World."
"Maybe in your World somewhere...
But no friends in my World.
My World is all about cut throat competition...
I am in show business."
NO BODY WAS THERE AND THEN IT ALL FILLED UP
Many many people came
It all filled up
'I am busy sweetheart even when you
Don't come."
(Someone said that)
So insecure, so bitchy....
'Everyone who comes to the store needs
My attention."
What store?
You don't have a store....
(Some one said that too)
Yes. No store, No product to sell
No business...Nothing.
'Have high born manner
No matter who you are."
(Did some one say that too?)
Yes, some said that...
"never behave needy or daffy
Never."
"Impeccable in your dealings with
Others."
(Some one said that)
Shadow of a doubt...
Without a shadow of a doubt
I am an event...........
An event which leads to exile...
Exile is the event...
Voluntary exile is but
the only event.
And who said that?
Go ahead, guess......
Thursday, January 28, 2010
THE DAY, TODAY
Got up
Walked
Came to Balthazar
Had coffee
Very good coffee
Read the papers
London Gaurdian
Read about the lawless
Illegal
War in Iraq...Of 2003
Today is Jan 27th 2010....
Read about the questions being asked
By the law bout the illegality of that
War of 2003 .....
All the questions are
And will remain questions...........
Questions
are just
questions.............
Being asked
Just to
Satisfy the guilty conscious
Of the law itself............
Why go through
The inquiry of
,"Who said,"What?" and, "When?"
When nothing is going to be done about it....
Dead are all dead.....
Dead and gone.....
Long gone.....
It was 2003
Today is 2010.....................
Dead are all gone......................
A
ACTOR
So remote
So repressed
So Un-communicative...
And an actor?
Can't afford it
So remote?
And
An actor?
Can't afford it....
Need to engage
In whatever he/she is doing
Whoever you are.......
Whatever you are saying........
Remote/
Get off the stage
Teach me something
I came to the theater to learn
Amuse me
Make me sad
Make me cry
Make me laugh
Keep me on the edge
Of my seat
Don't let me go to sleep
I sleep in my bed
Not in the theater
Keep me engaged
Excite me
I am so bored
That's why I came to see you
The actor.....................
TRENCHES
That's what you have to do
Trench by trench
Combat?
Yes.
Fight one trench at a time
Allot trenches
To fight
One by one....
Functions
Areas
Priorities
Assign them
To yourself
Than fight them....
All of them are your enemies............
Undone laundry...
Unclean non order
Undone scripts
Undone Ideas
Undone typing
Undone exercise
Undone diet regime
Undone life..........................
Fight with it
Don't be nice
To ugly delays............
Hate them
Get rid of them
Don't keep your enemies in your house..............
Fight them.
The sources of
Unbelievable,
Everlasting,
Terror of your soul............
All those undone
Un- fought battles....
Fight them
Win them.........
You can win
Yes, you can.
Of course you can.
But you have to fight them
First
To
Win them.
"Oh! how simplistic."
"Easy said, than done."
"If only you had to do it all."
"If only you had to fight my battles."
"If only you had my battles to fight."
"IF ONLY................"
FAR FROM THE LEFT
There is no liberal now
They are all
Center right
Most of them on the
Right
Dead right
And the rest are?
In the center
But on the right of the center
Very right
Of the center...
And the
People on the left?
Dead....
All dead?
Dead,
Unemployed,
Iin jails
On the foot path
Homeless
"Anarchy."
Its called....
What happened to the liberals?
They are on the
right..........
Center?
You mean?
Yes, center
But on the
right side...
Extreme right side...
Near the edge of
The center....
Edge of the shadow
Of the right...
Very far from the left
Very far
Very very far............
From the left
VOICES
Young Greek women
With thin voices
Trying to be Up and coming
They don't have the voices though
Just the youth
Youth is in their favor
Not their voices.......
Their voices are....
Are....
Annoying voices
Voices which irritate your ears
Voices which your ears shun
Voices which your ear don't want to receive
They lack melody
Yes, their voices are not melodic
Just irritating
Annoying....
These women
These young women
These young Greek women
Certainly need to Improve their voices
They come from the culture of Greek drama
And Greek Voice had been enchanting the ear of the whole universe for centuries.....
Greek tragedy is not in an Irritatingly sharp and shrill voice............
IMPATIENT
You should be more impatient
Impatient?
Yes
Why? People tell me to be more patient...
No, You should be more Impatient to get things done......
Patient people are just sitting....
Lethargic....
Looking at other patient people also
sitting....
Impatient people are always moving ahead...
Success is always in movement.............
IN THE NAME OF BALTHAZAR
We will meet there
Where?
Balthazar
When?
Tomorrow
Tomorrow?
Yes, tomorrow
Why not today?
Too late
Too late?
Yes, today its too late
To go to Balthazar?
Yes, too late
All tables are taken....
Taken?
Yes, taken
By whom?
People who get up early
Early?
Yes, early.
To go to Balthazar you have to get up early..
Not true
What's not true?
People go there all the time
We are not those people
Why not?
They reserve
They organise
They organise to go to Balthazar?
Of course
Why?
Why? he asks me.....
Yes, why?
You obviously have never been to Balthazar
No, never....
I can tell....
Take me
Take me to Balthazar
Tomorrow
Why not today?
Today, its too late
Today, all tables are taken
At Balthazar
Tomorrow........
(Written at Balthazar, the most beautiful french cafe in New York on Jan 27th 2010)
MOVEMENT
Words
Words
Words
Always replacing the deeds
Deeds move
Words stay still...
Words come out of your mouth to stay still
Shame
Your shame.....
Words don't even float
Even that would be a movement
Standing still is not called a, "Movement."
Movement is the only cure
Cure for the words
For its stagnation
For its Incapacity
Don't say anything
Enough words
Don;t even speak
Move...........
Take a Ballet class
Move...............
"Can't."
Who said that........
The words spoke
The words don't speak
It was you..........
"Words do speak and that is their movement."
No, it was you, making excuses....
Up
Get up
'Can't."
Up
'Can't."
'Simply can't."
'Someone else has to help me do it."
You have given up............
Ask the words to help you
They are ever willing
Spilling out of your mouth
And than sitting there
Always sitting......
Without deeds
Without movement
Words
Words
Words.............
PATCH IT UP
A hole
Surrounded by mosquitos
All itching to crawl in
Right in
Block the hole
Put a lid on it
Block the hole
Prevent the mosquitos premeditated
Journey into that hole
Once they get in
Thats it then
No turning back
No turning around
They will go deep into the hole
And even a witch's long broom won't be able to
Get rid of them
Of all the choices you might have
In this situation............
Get rid of the hole
Permanently
That would be the best choice
Covering it up
Might not take care of the problem
Get some one to patch it up completely
Go and get someone..............
Oh! that someone is not around
Never around
Patch it up yourself.....
Can't......
Why not?
Can't, simply can't
Well than.....
That's the problem
Its not the hole
Its the problem
The hole will stay there staring...
Manipulating...
Intimidating...
Engulfing...
Swallowing...
Taking over...
Yes, the hole will take over your entire life.
Monday, January 25, 2010
HOLIDAY OF THE INVALID
"I gave people Illicit permission to be cruel
Why?
Who knows
Mental problems?
Yes
Maybe
Yes.
Right now you don't need glory
You need quiet
Work
Work
And work
There is nothing else
You forgot so fast
That its not the glory
But work
Which is lasting
Now a little lousy book
Phony self promoting hustle
people do all the time
all over the world
and you are going to let it bother you?
A self promoting hustle
A self promoting shameless gathering
Has begun to bother you
You forget this fast
Advice
And your own advice on top of it...........
The therapy
The cure
You forget so fast..........
Begin to practice Immediately what came to you.......
Right now you don't need glory
You need quiet
To work
Right now you need to work
Honey...Don't forget what come to you......
That's the cure
Advice
Your own advice to you
Is the cure
Listen.....
Listen to yourself............
NOTHING ELSE TO BE CONCENTRATED UPO0N
Nothing else to be bothered about
Except writing
NY APT
NYC
Since by chance
By an accident
Three things came my way
Writing
NY apt
New York city
"Since by chance three things came my way."
Didn't you say that?
Yes, you did.........
You said that in Sept and you said that
In Oct...................
You already forgot?
Did you forget that the rest is not included in your agenda?
The accident which found something to concentrate on
Out of all the rubbish, mistakes, incidents,
Wrong choices in life..............
Didn't you say that?
"Since by chance at least three things
Came your way?"
"And there is nothing else which needs to be concentrated upon"
"And be bothered about"
Didn't you say that?
Didn't you not just say that?
Only yesterday you said that
And only today you forgot
What you just said yesterday.
A PLACE TO SIT
I need a place to sit
I need a table and a chair
I need a place to sit
And write
A place where no one disturbs me
No one talks to me
Where no one knows me
I need a place to sit
And think
A place where no one talks to me
No one knows me
No one disturbs me
A place where I can have a work hour
A place to sit
And think
And think
And think.............
But thinking is outdated
Thinking is out of fashion
Thinking is not progressive
Thinking is madness
Than I want to be mad
But I thought you already were
And who are you?
Sunday, January 17, 2010
LOW LIVES
What low lives we encounter every day
They steal, they hurt, they show low class
They show no class at all
I gave them a party
And they stole a bottle of wine which was a gift just for me
That bottle was worth $100
And it was only for me for my effort
And for their effort I gave them a fabolous party with roast lamb with pignoli nuts
QAnd baba ganoush and hummus
But they stole my wine any way
It was a special gift for me alone
But it never reached me
They drank it or pt it in their bags
And took it home
And ate all the food and drank all the wine which I got for them any way
It was all for them
Because it was a party for them
But what was meant for me
They stole it
iT NEVER REACHED MY HANDS
iTS A SHAME
HHow low class people are
BUT I AM SO RELIEVED ITS OVER TOMORROW
BUT NEXT YEAR I WILL HAVE TO WORK WITH NEW LOW CLASS PEOPLE
BECAUSE PEOPLE OF 21ST CENTURY ARE ALL LOW CLASS
ALMOST ALL OF THEM
YES, MOST OF THEM ANY WY
SO DISAPPOINTING AND SO DISGUSTING..................
Thursday, January 14, 2010
ONCE UPON A TIME
Once upon a time
There lived in the World
A fool....
Who thought he was smart
But he was a fool
He allowed every one to use him
In the name of love
They used him for money
For his time
For his generosity
For his kindness
For his forgiving nature
Than they all laughed at him
They said, "He was a fool."
And fools are there so people can laugh at them
No one loved him
Or cared for him
No one cared if he lived or died
They all came first
Their livelihood
Their time
Their money
Their jobs
Their self importance
Everything came first for them
He came last
Last for them
In every which way
He came last
He was the last one on their list
If he was on their list at all.
But they all came first on his list
Because....
Because he was a fool.
He had this need to be kind to people
To take care of people
At his own expanse
Why?
A good question
The easy answer is that he was a fool
The difficult answer is that he didn't know that he was a fool....
But people knew
And used it in their own favor
Fools are always light hearted
Or at least they act like one
Or fools are lonely
They need people
So they will go out of the way to have their company
But people were less interesting than him
They actually needed his company more than he needed them
But they won't make him know that
They were all phony
They were on a power trip
The fool was more educated than them
More sensitive
More well read
More aware of the human condition
More patience
Because he was kind
The revenge of kindness is ,"patience." and more, "Patience."
He would sit and listen politely
That/s what he was taught
'Politeness."
'Civility."
'Sophistication?
The trouble was that no one around him
Had any of those qualities
Because in this Century, the 21st all of a sudden...
All the qualities have become liabilities
Bad things to have, bad, bad things to have
The World needed obnoxiousness to ,"Respect."
Not gentleness.............
Not generosity of the spirit
Not cultivated manner
But hoodlum behavior
A hustler behavior...
"Oh! he is a hustler." "Oh! she is a bitch."
That was power
People were afraid of those hustlers and bitches
To be a bitch was a winner
To rob, to kill, to mime, to steal, to cheat, to hustle, to destroy
Was the winner with awards and fame and money and glory
And he?
He was a fool
People knew he was a fool
He spend his money on useless people
He spend his love on useless people
He spend his precious time on useless, worthless people
People who couldn't care less for him or for any one
People only were self interested
People were all so egotistical
People were all so selfish
He didn't know that
Because he was a fool
He was born a fool
It was in his genes
People could fool him easily because...
He was a fool....
But they all still wanted him to be around
He filled their ego with satisfaction of self power and Importance
He thought they liked him and that's why they wanted him
They wanted him because he came when they wanted him
He almost ,"Obeyed." people
That was a disgrace in 21st Century
But he would go when they wanted him to come....
He couldn't understand people's behavior
Because they were far more cunning than him
Far more clever than him
Because they were not a bunch of fools
They were amassing fortunes with corruption and deceit
They were cheats, Un-cultured smart assess
They laughed when he left
Behind his back, they laughed at him
They were great in back biting....
In-front of him they laughed because they found him amusing...
That was the only truth about them that they recognised that
He was more amusing than them
Because he was simple and honest
And he was amusing
Not because he was a fool
Yes, he was, he was a fool
But he was amusing
Because he was a story teller
And he needed people to tell his stories
They thought he was an amusing fool who could just amuse them for a few minutes
whenever they needed it....
BUT HE WAS A FOOL
WHO WAS A STORY TELLER
AND HIS STORIES WERE ALWAYS AMUSING...
ONCE UPON A TIME...
THERE WAS BORN A FOOL
WHO WAS THE MOST AMUSING PERSON AMONGST ALL DULL HUMANITY
BECAUSE HE WAS A STORY TELLER....
AND HIS STORIES WERE ALWAYS FUN..............
I DON'T SEE HIM ANY MORE.....
I WANT HIM TO COME AROUNF
AND TELL ME A STORY
A FUNNY STORY....A VERY FUNNY FOOLISH STORY
I MISS HIM
I MISS THE FOOL...........
Tuesday, January 12, 2010
AND SO ITS COMING
Perhaps its already there
I feel it
Now the same story will repeat itself
What else is new?
Nothing
Nothing is going to be new
Except.....
Except what?
You know what?
No I don't know
You must be kidding me?
Its your story
And it repeats itself often
Almost all the time
Except a month or two
Here and there....
Same nothingness is creeping in
It is already in
It never left
It was always there
It becomes dormant once a while
That time lasts a short time
Everything is nothing
And nothing is nothing in itself
The entertainment, The food, the movie, the friends
Now that's another story
The friends....
Where are they?
Who?
The friends?
Ask the Varizon phone company
Phone company is your friends?
Now they claim I make Hundreds of calls, EXTRA MINUTES
And hundreds of dollars have to be paid for those
Extra calls I make to my hundreds of friends
I told them hundreds of times that I have no one to call...................
And no one calls me...........
But they insist that I have NOTHING ELSE IN MY LIFE BUT HUNDREDS OF FRIENDS
WHOM I CALL AND GATHER EXTRA EXTRA MINUTES FOR WHICH I HAVE TO PAY
I NEITHER HAVE FRIENDS TO CALL NOR I HAVE THE MONEY TO PAY
FOR THE CALLS I NEVER MADE
BUT THE PHONE COMPANY INSIST THAT I HAVE FRIENDS
HUNDREDS OF THEM.............
NOW WHY WILL BE SO LONELY THEN?
Tuesday, January 5, 2010
EMOTIONAL CHEMISTRY
All lacking
Emotions?
Chemistry?
A question
Without a question mark
Chemistry?
A mixture of feelings
Disturbances
Memories
Childhoods
Experience of pain
Loss
Love
A season
A summer
A winter day
Cold
Freezing
Shivering
Slipping
Emotionally slipping
Maybe not of Ice
But of childhood
Together
Alone
Always alone
Sharing the loneliness
Sharing the on coming Loneliness
Sharing the days gone by
Sharing the fissure of Imagination
In which they both once lived
The reality that was
Once
Long time ago
The emotional chemistry
The sameness of something
The sameness in something
The genes of siblings
The genes in which your parents lived
When you were all together
When you shared the sameness of those genes
The habits
The long lost habits
The habits of love
The habit of a meal
Sharing that meal
Fighting over an egg
Fighting over a piece of lamb
The lamb and the eggs were expansive
The family was not rich
Far from it
The children wanted to be rich
One day they will be
They always thought
They always thought
That the life in the future will be better than the past
They have plenty of eggs
And lamb chops
They don't have the siblings
They don't have the memory of that shared chemistry
They used to tease each other
And
Then Laugh
They used to fight
And
Then laugh
They used to cry
And
Then laugh
They shared laughter
They had sense of humor
And
They shared it
They spoke to each other
Without speaking
They listened to each other
Without speaking
They understood each other
They understood their surroundings
They knew who they were
They had emotional chemistry binding them
Together like the glue
Like the bond of birth
Like the glue which never fully cleanly come off
The binding is still there
Though not visible at all
The shrieks of pain
Are there
Though not loud enough to be heard by the neighbors
But there are no neighbors
All are remote people
Operating on remote controls
With their machines
All in love with a machine
Push the button
Push another button
Now cry
Now laugh
Push another button
Now fight
Push another button
Now make love
Do people still make love?
Yes, they do ...
In the movies
They have slimmer bodies in the movies
More tanned
More muscles
Easy to take the clothes off
More emotional chemistry in the movies
They meet in a bar
Or in a plane
Then the next scene takes place in the hotel room
Nice hotel room
Expansive
Suite
The leading man's suite
The woman he just met
Is always blond
Always slim
Always in a designer's dress and coat
And heels
Perfect make up
Perfect perfume
One can smell it across the movie screen
They have chemistry
Perfect chemistry
Instant, perfect sexual chemistry
And emotional chemistry comes in the second scene
If the screen writer missed it in the first meeting
The other poor slobs in their poor shitty life
Are seeking that emotional chemistry
All their lives
The one they had in their poor home
Where the parents lived
Where there were laughters
And
Fight over food
And fight over books
And fight over hot water
And laughter all around
The teasing, the crying, the yelling, the bitching
Life all around
All things available which makes a thing called, "Emotional chemistry."
Now desperately looking for it
In a bar
In a cafe
In the restaurant
At the opera house
In a theater
At the cinema
In a museum
In the park near the dog run
In the summer time
In the snow
In sleet
In The slush on the streets
At the beach
In a cafe late.............................
Can't find it.............................
Gone forever.........................
Maybe it was never there.....................
That is impossible
Its existence can't be denied
It was there
Very much there
I am the proof
Still living
Still breathing
Still carrying on
On the strength of the vanished," Emotional chemistry of my home of the past."
Saturday, January 2, 2010
UNBELIEVABLE
Its totally mind boggling and unbelievable
How nasty and un-grateful some of the people are....
And why is it so un-believable?
Because some 0f us are still naive
And forgiving
And kind
A mistake
A big mistake
A very very big mistake
In this horrific
And crude world....
You want to be kind?
What a joke
In this world You want to be naive
What a damn joke?
In this world
You want to be forgiving?
Sock it to the Mother F****R
Give it right back....
Be as nasty as he was to you
Or
Actually, more nasty, much more nasty than he was to you
Very nasty
Be a killer in bad manners
Be a hoodlum
Be a thug
With the thug
And a hoodlum with a hoodlum
That's the only language the hoodlum understand
That;s the only poetry the hoodlum recites
Don't read Shelly to him....
Don't read Edgar Allan Poe to him...
Don't read Baudelaire to him....
That's not his language....
That's not his aesthetics ....
He has no Aesthetics.....
Don't forget
He is a hoodlum
Don't go near him
Remove yourself from him.....
Forever and forever.......
He smells
He stinks
He is Obnoxious
He is filthy
His smell will get on to you
His breath has poison in him
Stay away
Stay away
Stay away
From him
You are a poet
You are the poet
You are a great poet
You will be read for centuries to come
Generations upon generations will read you................
Because you are a poet.
You take abuse
Because you are a poet
They give you abuse
Because you are a poet
Don't take it
Stop......
Stop.....
Stop taking any kind of abuse
From anyone......
No one
Take abuse from no one
BECAUSE YOU ARE A POET.
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