HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT

HAPPY BIRTHDAY AFTER A SLEEPLESS NIGHT

Today, July first, I was born
Born in FAISALABAD.
You don't kniw where that town is
But some one else will know...

There is always some one
Who knows about mysterious things
My birth must have been a mystery as well
But some one, some where knows
There is no secret in life
So, why not always tell the truth?

Truth telling is dangerous as well
Some people go to jail for that
And some give up their life for it
And some, by not telling the truth
Make a million dollar...

But truth of the matter is that
I was born in FAISALABAD
Very far from here
Can't even fly there...
It's far...

Can't believe it...
Came so far away from my birth?
Can't believe it...
What were you thinking?
Not thinking...
Not thinking at all...

I used to celebrate my birthdays
In gardens
In private gardens
Of lovely friends
With shamiana
And daig, huge containers
filled with freshly cooked biryani
On the premise...

And huge trays of mutton
So fresh,
Falling off the bone
With aromas of spices of Bengal
Mixed with the breath of Jasmine
And nargis key phool...

At least 100 people will come
And the cake, so huge...
Two cakes actually...
Chocolate and fruit cake...
Evening lights, cool breeze,
Lots of laughter...

Here, laughter...
Where is it?
You can't laugh alone
I am not a mad woman
I hope not...
Very close to it
Because I like laughter

You have to be off your phone
With great respect for your friends
Listen to the stories, one of you
Is trying to tell...
And perhaps that story is funny
And will make you laugh
But that kind of patience and concentration
Is missing

We had lots of concentration in FAISALABAD
And we were all story tellers..
When it rained...
Like it's raining here right now
When it rained...
Those were the happiest days
Rain was a symbol of romance

Sit in your veranda
And hear the sound of rain falling
On the green grass,
On the trees, dripping drops like tears of happiness
And mangoes...
Coldmangoes in the drums with ice
and laughter....
And stories
And dreams
Dreams of America...

Now on my birthday, July first
I am in America...
And it's raining...
Pouring...
some of us were going to go
On a friend's roof and have cake
And cocktails
But it's raining
And we have no verandha...
No garden
No byriani..
No shamiana...

No flickering lights in the trees
Like a scene from an Indian wedding...
Rain has just stopped now
But we had already cancelled the meeting
On the roof
The birthday meeting, I mean...
Once you cancel anything here
It is cancelled...
Can't go back...
Move forward...

Another woman who is a multimillionaire
Told me, "MOVE FORWARD."
"Move forward where to?"
She was moving towards her Bank...
'Buying another house in the world somewhere?
I asked her
'Yes, a small house in the South of France"
Oh! how nice..."
I said...
She is for sure moving forward

I want to move backward
I want to sit in my veradha
In Faisalabad, in my sehen near the
the flowers my father grew in that sunny sehen...
Veranda was also to take helter in the rain
Because it had a roof over it
But the sehan hd no roof,
The rain will fall right inside our house
And we will sit in the veranda and laugh and laugh
And tell each ther stories and eat mangoes...
This time of the year and every year

On my birthday,,,there was mango season...
My favorite fruit...
Great poets wrote poetry about the rain and mangoes
And wine...
We din't have wine in FAISALABAD
But we came here for wine...
We can have lots of wine here...
Right now sitting outside on the road side
And believe that we are enjoying ourselves

Till a big fat rat runs fast light lightening and thunder
fro somewhere near the garbage bags towards
other garbage bags next to the wine bars on the streets
Right now...Corona time

My birthday is so special...
Because I am so special...
During the rain
We can't even sit next to the garbage
And admire our rats...
And we came here for wine...
I want to be back in my veranda
watching the rain falling in our sehen...
And everyone wishing me happy birthday
Including my mother and father
And all my brothers and sisters...around..

I move backward...
Americans say, "that's my demise."
But I want to move backward in slow motion...
It will take me a Century to get back
 to FAISALABAD...
THE PLACE OF MY BIRTH...
So I can sit in my veranda on my birthday
But even after the slow motion journey
backward...won't be able to find the veranda...
The house with the sehen, the veranda, the phool
The jasmin, the nargis, the tea, the mangoes
And the birthday day celebrations is no more...
THE HOUSE IS SOLD.......