KULSOOM'S INSTRUCTIONS

KULSOOM'S INSTRUCTIONS

(Kulsoom to Moeen)

KULSOOM::

You have to go to the bathroom. You must need to pee?

MOEEN:

How do you know that?

KULSOOM:

I know

MOEEN:

You are crazy

KULSOOM;

Crazy people always call others crazy

MOEEN:

I  would go to the bath room but that doesn't mean I must pee.
 doesn't mean that I have to pee.going to the bath room?

KULSOOM:

So why are you going to the bath room?

MOEEN:

I wasn't going to go but you said, "that I have to go to the bath room"

KULSOOM:

Yes, I said that.  I said that you have to go to the bath room

MOEEN:

You can say whoever you want but I am not going...

KULSOOM:

You are crazy

MOEEN:

You see-that's the test of a real crazy person.  Crazy person

always think they are normal and the other person is crazy.

Why don't you go to the bath room and pee yourself?

KULSOOM

I don't have to pee...

MOEEN:

So why are you forcing me while you yourself don't want to go?

KULSOOM:

Every one has to pee.

MOEEN:

You too...eventually

KULSOOM:

Yes, me too

MOEEN:

SO?

KULSOOM:

You might pee in your pants if you wait for that, "eventually:

MOEEN

So what I will pee in my pants.  My pants, my pee.  What is it to you

if I pee in my pants?

KULSOOM:

Only sick people we in their pants.  You must be sick.

MOEEN:See crazy people always think that others are crazy as well as sick

KULSOOM:

But you are crazy

MOEEN:

That's your opinion

KULSOOM:

But you are crazy and sick, and that is my opinion

MOEEN:

I don't care about your opinion any longer

KULSOOM:

You should.  You are going to piss in your pants soon.

MOEEN:

Not me.

KULSOOM:

You will soon

MOEEN:

I already did.  You didn't even notice.  That's how smart and observant

you are.  Look under my chair, look, there is a puddle of piss and I did it to

annoy you.  You the sane, the smart, the clever one forcing me to go to the

bathroom.  How dare you?  How dare you order me around?  You have

been ordering me around, calling me crazy since I was born.  You are jealous

of me because I am smarter than you.  I always was.  But you informed mother

and father all day long that I am mad, not well, insane, mad, mad as hell, that

I have affliction of madness in me but I don't have that affliction, the affliction of madness.

You have that.  You, who convinced mother and father about my false so called, 'MADNESS"

You never let me be me.

You always were a control freak, "Get up and do this."  'Get up and do that"

All my life I obeyed you.  All my life I did what you told me to do. But no more.

Never more.

I will sit if I want, I will stand if I want.  I will pee when I want wherever I want.

Look, look at the puddle of my piss...look...I proved it to you that I never ever have to listen

to you any more.  "Go tho the bath room"  "Go pee"  "iIts time for you to pee."

"get up and clean this."  Get up and Vacuum."  'get up and cook."

Now you get up, get up and clean this puddle of my piss.  Get up....(Shouts)

I said, get up and clean the piss.

(Kulsoom, stunned and shocked, gets up and starts to clean.)

THE END OF SCENE

IBSA: (IN BABYLON SOULS ALONE

IBSA:  (IN BABYLON SOULS ALONE)
INSA: (IN NJ SOULS ALONE)

INSA:

Its not their fault

Not entirely

Go ahead, admit it

They can't communicate with you the way you want

Just to save your energy, please be formal with them

"Hello, hi, hi, hello, hello, hi, hi"  That should be the communication with them from now on.

None of tem have your knowledge, your ability, your passion, your kindness and your generosity

of spirit.

They don't have the same interests like you do.

And to accomodate so many of them, so many of them and their interests and styles

is extremely and I say extremely difficult ad not only difficult but is impossible.

Since You have to see them, (Blood relations)  You have no choice but to be polite,

No complaints of this and that, they don't get it, they don't understand it.

Its too late.  For your own health's sake stop it. Water under te bridge.  Stop it.

Its only the source of headache for you.

Nothing else.  No benefit at all.

Be artistically and culturally busy.

MAKE YOURSELF BUSY

DO THINGS YOU ENJOY.  THAT'S IT...

Be with people you enjoy.  Didn't one of your friend told you once that your friends are your family?

Yes, But IINSA has no friends.

INSA, let me give you an advice...make friends...make new friends...If old friends are

not there, make new friends....

With family have no fights or arguments....

Your house is already divided....don't demolish it...that's the only thing left...

Yes, Its sad...

But how long you are going to be sad?

Tell me how long?

I am so tired of you....

I AM YOUR TWIN AND I AM GETTING TIRED OF YOU.

Your apathy affects me too.  After all we ate twins though born Centuries apart...

YOU ENJOYED THEM ONCE, YOUR PEOPLE, NOT ANY MORE.

ADMIT IT WITHOUT ANY GUILT...

I WILL TRY...BUT I DON'T NEW FRIENDS EITHER...

Just acquaintances will do.

I will be polite, polite, polite with them like the English people.

No feelings, just polite, polite...

I am afraid of my feelings.

I felt so deeply for them, my people and their persecution...

But now your people are persecuting each other...they appreciate divisions...

Division of land, division of love, division of faith...

WHY DO THEY DO IT?

You should tell me...they are your people as well...arn't you my twin?

Or is it just a dream?

If you are not my twin, then I am going to invent one like in the novel IDA by Gertrude Stein....

IDA INVENTED A TWIN SO SHE COULD TALK TO SOME ONE...

SO SHE WOULD HAVE COMPANY...

Let me know if you are my twin or not...so I can invent one...and have some

laughter in my life...

HOW COME YOU THINK THAT YOU WILL LAUGH WITH YOUR NEW TWIN

WE HAVEN'T LAUGHED FOR SO ONG...

Thats a shame...

Such a shame...

How can we laugh...our people have been slaughtered all over the place...

We are banned from laughter...

I THOUGHT WE WERE ONLY BANNED FROM AMERICA...

No, darling we are banned from many places...

Places and things...

Yes, or day I was at a cafe and asked for an avocado toast and they said, " No avocado tost for you."

They sid that?

Yes, They sid, no avocado toast for you, you can have a few donuts."  Wow...I said,

"You are offering me DONUTS?  LOOK AT ME?  SEE I AM BULGING OUT

OF MY DRESS."

And the waitress said, no avocado toast for you...order of the boss...

I never understood the relationship of avocado toast with muslim religion...

'She didn't want you to be in the cafe...donut was an excuse..."

'But suppose I said, ok to the donut...then?"

She will kick you out after the donut...but she would have liked you out never-the less...

'But, hell i didn't know you were a Muslim?

And you are my twin sister?

I thought we were Christians

You wish...

Christian or Jewish

You wish...

I could have been Jewish, I was born in Babylon...

Not you, you were born in NJ...

How dull...

I was lucky, I was born in Babylon...

Still not lucky enough....

Lucky to be alive....





You are still alive, IBSA?  STILL ALIVE AND WE HAVE STOPPED LAUGHING...

AND STOPPED LIVING....

You expect too much...don't expect anything INSA...stop...expect nothing

from any one...Government, religion, family, friends, let it go....

Forget about it...Just live, be sad and live, be alone and live,

be cruel and live,  be polite and live...be fake.

ZULEKHA AND KHATIJA'S HOUSE DIVIDED, SEGMENT TWO

ZULEKHA AND KATIJA'S HOUSE DIVIDED, SEGMENT TWO

ZULEKHA:

Khatija, my sister wants me to be happy.

Happy and proud...

How can that be possible under te circumstances?

My family and me are fighting every day.

They are far, far away but we never stop to fight...

Some times I say to myself, "Don't worry, its not their fault entirely

We are all struggling from the same thing

Identity issue.

While I was walking in the street the other day, I saw white handsome men

with thick, bushy beards...

Beards?  I said to myself

Where are the beards coming from/  White American men with beards?

Oh! the stole the idea, the symbol from the Muslims...

Is that possible?

Don't they hate Muslims?

Yes, but why not steal the good, handsome things from their culture if they want?

They can do anything they want...

One day the beard is the symbol of terrorism, Muslim terrorism, of course, what else...

The next day te models in TMAGAZINE have thick bushy beards....

Fashion is obviously different than terrorism...

Models, white male models with beards have nothing to do with Muslim Mullah's with beard...

Wow! I said and kept walking like a fool as usual...

Then I saw a sign out side a tiny place named,  SULTANA"

Since I was seeking Identity, the name seemed authentic...

"I should go in and see if I can find whatever I am looking for iside, SULTANA...

When I walked in I saw lots of white men and women SMOKING HOOKA PIPES...

Oh! wow , I said, The white people are now smoking hooka pipes...wow..wow..wow..

Didn't hooka came from Khatija and Zulekha's house hold?

Yes, but they stole it...they didn't like Katija's ancestors smoking hooka pipes, they called them,

losers, idiots, stupid, wasting their livves in smoky hooka pipes places...

Now it has become the fashion in NYC to smoke hooka pipe and call every Muslim a terrorist...

But hey, people, you are smoking their hooka pipes...leave something cultural for Muslims...

Terrorism is not a culture, terrorism is a label...Hooka pipe is the culture...

They all looked at me as if I was a thief...

"To hell with Identity"  I said and left...

I Instantly got exhausted and my knee joint stated to bother me becay=use

Road to SULTAN was paved with stairs...

"Oh1 let me go buy some organic pain killers...

So I went to Commodities...

Wow, I said, wow, wow, wow...  Tumeric, (HULDI) we call it huldi...

Muslims and Hindues have been using Tumeriic fir centuries, no cooking is ever complete without

huldi...
60 and buy the tumeric capsues...maybe my identity is in Tumeric capsules...
Oh! they are selling, TUMERIC CAPSULES, $45, $50, $ 60...

Oh1 man...they also stole Tumeric our very yellow huldi...and selling it for so much ,oney...

Antiinflamatory...eat tumeric...You telling me...Now I have to pay $ 60 dollars and to

Buy tumeric which you stle from my village...Jesus...

Maybe I should spend $ 60 and buy Tumeric capsules and stare at them shouting, I found my

identity,

I found my Identity...

But tumeric used to be the cheapest thing in our country and we never really liked the smell and its

stains leaving signature, i didn't have thhe heart to spend $60 dollars...any way I didn't ahve $ 60 ...

My name is Zulekha, I never had 60 dollars in my pocket...

I left Commodity and decided to go for a walk on fifth ave to geel good.

Wow, wow, wow, I ddaw very expansive men's sandles/loafers look alike open shoes with gold and

silver and multi colored patterns on them...

They look kind of familiar...where have I seen thhem?  I was wondering...

Oh! Oh1 wait...I remembered...when Muslim men get married n the day of the wedding

the bridgroom wear festive shoes ike that which were originally worn by MUGHAL KINGS

AKBAR AND BABAR... CALLED, KHUSA...

And now they were in Laboutini designer store on fifth ave costing thousands of dollars...

My goodness, my identity is every where, how come I feel lost here?

My hook pipes, my khusa shoes, my tumeric, my beards, keep searching for your identity and you

will find it and then you will be happy, happy and proud...proud of your beautiful heritage stolen by

the one who doesn't give you the right to own your dignity and pride...thhey call you, Terrorist"  Just

one word.. and take care of you...

Hey guys, give me my stuff back, everything, my telescope, my astronomy, my mathematic, my

gold, my hooka pipes, my classical designs of shoes and my silk, my cotton, my tea, my pashmina

and even my huldi, my tumeric and I will go back...just give it back, ok?  I don't want to walk on

your

avenues for the rest of my life, just give me my stuff back,

 my knowledge, my wisdom, my beauty, my esthetics,

 my faith,

 my dignity,

my pride...

give it back...

my sister Khatija wants me to be happy and proud....

yes, I want to be happy

Yes, I want to be proud

Give me my stuff back.............

KHATIJA AND ZULEKHA'S HOUSE DIVIDED

KHATIJA AND ZULEKHA'S HOUSE DIVIDED

THIS NARRATIVE IS IN FOUR SEGMENTS

PEOPLE INHABITING THE NARRATIVE ARE:

KHATIJA

ZULEKHA: Sisters

IBSA;  (In Babylon souls alone)

INSA: (In New Jersey souls alone)  Sisters

JAFFER:  An educated young man who is terrified of expressing any of he opinion.

(All sisters often asks him:  WHAT DO YOU SAY JAFFER?

But he remains silent thus invisible....

SEGMENT ONE:

(Zulekha to Khatija)

ZULEKHA;

Why do you suffer so much?

Why do you spend so much energy on useless things and useless people?

Especially on useless people...

Why do you need acceptance of others?

Why do you go through such stress thinking of others?

Why do you give yourself so much pain about the misfortunate?

Why must you think of the ones who are excluded from everything comfortable?

Why do you suffer so much sadness about te injustice in te world?

Why do you feel for the downtrodden, te hungry, the mutilated,the desparate,

the forgotten human beings of ths earth?

Why don't you learn from thhe class system of the world /

Why don't you understand the financial power, the power of the money classes?

Why can't you distance yourself from the thoughts of exclusion?

Whose exclusion worries you? And why does it worry you?

Why don't you enjoy aloofness, indifference and lack of concern about so any

whom you don't know and have never met in your life?

Who put this this feel of the social injustice in you?

Why can't you be like most of the people who care for no one but themselves?

Why can't you be just busy with your own, "PROJECTS"  as every important person calls them...

("Oh! I have a new project coming up and then another project and then another)

Why don'y you have any sense of importance for yourself?

Why do you criticize yourself so much?

Why can't you have a plan and follow it every day?

What is the source f this anxiety?  This anger? This fear? This terror of the soul?

Were you very badly hurt as a child?

Why can't you excite yourself about things, just things?

Why nothing ever works for you any more?

My sister, tell me what will make you happy?

Love?

Companionship?

Money?

Conversation?

Country home?

A car?

A loft?

An elevator?

New clothes?

New shoes?

New furniture?

New area?

Gold?

Trees?

Flowers?

Candles?

New plants?

New apartment?

New country?

New earth?

New smell?

New perfumes.....

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BE RESPECTED?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO BRING THE TIME BACK?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE THE TIME PASSED TO COME BACK?

WOULD YOU LIKE TO HAVE YOUR PAST COME BACK?

KHATIJA:

YES.

I WANT THE TIME TO COME BACK

YES.

I WANT THE PAST TO COME BACK

YES.

I WANT MY PAST TO BE MY PRESENT

YES.

I WANT MY PAST TO BE MY FUTURE

MY EVERYTHING....

YES.

I WANT MY PERFUMES TO COME BACK

YES.

I WANT MY RESPECT TO COME BACK

I WANT MY GOLD TO COME BACK

I WANT MY PEACE TO COME BACK

I WANT Y SAND TO COME BACK

YES.

I WANT MY DESERT TO COME BACK

I WANT MY FAITH TO COME BACK

I WANT EVERYTHING WHICH WAS STOLEN FROM ME TO COME BACK...

I WANT MY ASTRONOMY, THE WORD, "ZERO" TE TELESCOPE, THE ARCHITECT,

THE CALIGRAPHY, TE KNOWLEDGE, MY CUSTOMS, MY SUPERIORITY, MY DIGNITY

WHICH WAS STOLEN FROM ME BY EVERY ONE, PEOPLE WHO STOLE FROM ME, MY

PEOPLE AND THE PEOPLE WHO CAME FROM FOREIGN LANDS....

YES.

I WANT THE GOLD, THE GLRY, THE GOLDEN AGE TO COME BACK....

YES.

THE TIME WHICH  HAS PASSED, I WANT IT TO COME BACK....

MY NAME IS KHATIJA

I AM TE WIFE OF THE PROPHET

MY HUSBAND'S NAME IS MOHAMMAD

I WAT TE DIGNITY OF MY NAME, MY HUSBANDS NAME AND THE DIGNITY OF THE

PAST TO COME BACK...

BUT IT WON'T....

NO IT WON'T COME BACK

NOW THE HOUSE IS DIVIDED...

MY HOUSE, THE PROPHET'S HOUSE IS DIVIDED...

THE HOUSE DIVIDED WON'T STAND

AND THAT IS THE PURPOSE OF THE  ONES WHO STOLE OUR GOLDEN AGE...

AND THAT IS A LONG STORY AND I AM SHORT OF TIME...

BUT WHY ARE YOU FIGHTING AMONGST EACH OTHER?

YOU STARTED FIGHTING EVVEN BEFORE MY HHUSBAND, THE PROPHET WAS

BURIED....

HOW CAN MY GOLDEN AGE COME BACK?

HOW CAN THE TIME PASSED COME BACK?

BUT I WANT IT

YES.

I LIKE THE TIE PASSED TO COME BACK

YES.

I WANT MY PAST TO BE MY PRESENT

YES.

I WANT MY PAST TO BE MY FUTURE

AND THATS THE SOURCE OF MY ANXIETY, MY ANGER, MY FEAR, MY TERROR...

TEY SAY THAT, "I AM A TERRORIST"

BUT THEY GOT IT ALL WRONG

I ONLY HAVE THE TERROR IN MY SOUL...

BECAUSE...

MY NAME IS KHATIJA

I AM THE PROPHET'S WIFE

I AM THE PAST

I AM THE PRESENT

I AM THE FUTURE

I WANT MY SISTER ZULEKHA TO GET BACK EVERYTHING SHE LOST

I WANT MY SISTER ZULEKHA TO BE HAPPY.  HAPPY AND PROUD

(Address Jaffer)

WHAT DO YOU SAY JAFFER?

(Jaffer stays silent)