THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

There was a train
The train was moving
Moving fast
Then abruptly stops
I am now on the platform
Next is my mother, (deceased) coming off
"There is a big gap between the train and the platform, please be careful."
I warn my mother

Then comes out my young niece
Then another niece
We have arrived somewhere
It seems like we are in USA
The platform seems like one of those in small cities of USA
Desolate, narrow, with strangers....
And lots of luggage

But we don't have any luggage
It seems that way
'Where are we heading to?"
We have no idea
The dream doesn't give us that chance
It ends abruptly.....

Or it changes scenery

Now I am at an audition
There are many rooms
I think its an ad agency
I have a photo and resume
They don't pay any attention
Very formal
Many men
Many rooms
Many people

Women walking around
Men walking around
I am done
I leave
Never hear from them
Time passes

Then one day they call me for a job.I am thrilled
Telling everyone, "Oh! that big ad agency called me"
"Oh! I got a job with the big ad agency>" I am shouting
Like a beggar we are happy to collect some crumbs from the prosperous floors

A man in black encounters me
There are many rooms
There are many men
The man in black instructs me

Give a pair of scissors
'Is it a scissor commercial?"
I wonder
Then he gives me a folded sheet, pink in color
Then another sheet, blue in color

Then shows me a photo
In the photo there are many people, mostly men
In the middle of the photo is a man wearing pink
'This is the man you will stab withe scissots."
The man in black instructs me
'Stab?"
I say
'Yes, he says."

These scissors must be a prop.  " I think
But scissors are for real.
Then another big man gives me a bowl full of some thing very dark in it to hold.
'How am I going to be able to stab some one with my hands so full
I put everything down but the scissors.

Now all those men seem like big MAFIA MEN
Now the big long tables are being laid out withe lots of food on them.
I am very hungry
But no one offers me food.
I am still carrying the scissors.
Another man replaces my scissors
Te first pair had some pink color in them
The new pair is shining white

I don't like the second pair
'It would be much easier to stab the man withe the first pair."
I think out loud.
My hand had a better grip on the first pair

'The train is on Mulberry street."
They keep announcing the subway stops
The man I am going to stab is on the subway
'How am I going to kill him while he is riding in a subway car
And I am in this so called ad agency>?
I ask myself
Maybe the man will come here after he gets off the subway

But in my dream its very clear that I have to stab him withe new pair of shining scissors
in the subway car....
So maybe I am already in the subway car?
Maybe this is the train my mother and my nieces came off from
And I am still there and being given a task of a murderer
Maybe I never came off the train....
Only they did...my family...
I am still in danger
But this is a job, I think....
Am I not some kind of an actress?
But this seems real
I haven't acted for a long time....

In the dream I am suppose to kill some poor fellow
with the scissors while he is sitting in the middle of some strangers
in a fast moving train while I am in a strange room with very strange and dangerous men.....

But why my mother was in that very train in which I am going to kill some one?
And my poor mother who is dead will have to see her  respectful daughter committing a crime?
But thank god my mother is dead...................
She won't have to see her daughter's demise...............
But why did I see her coming off the train?
Because she must have come off........
I saw her
I was already on the platform.........................
Then we were ready to go somewhere...........
Somewhere...with my mother and my nieces............
Somewhere nice and eat some good lunch..........
Since I was starving in the dream
And no one offered me any food
While there was so much food in the room.........
So much food............
And no one offered me.................
I must be in USA
In USA no one offers any food to any one
They just keep eating....
They paid for it
They are the only one who will eat that food............
Back home we gave a lot of food to strangers when they were hungry..............

I was for sure not at home.............
I came off the train on a desolate platform in USA.......................