THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

There was a train
The train was moving
Moving fast
Then abruptly stops
I am now on the platform
Next is my mother, (deceased) coming off
"There is a big gap between the train and the platform, please be careful."
I warn my mother

Then comes out my young niece
Then another niece
We have arrived somewhere
It seems like we are in USA
The platform seems like one of those in small cities of USA
Desolate, narrow, with strangers....
And lots of luggage

But we don't have any luggage
It seems that way
'Where are we heading to?"
We have no idea
The dream doesn't give us that chance
It ends abruptly.....

Or it changes scenery

Now I am at an audition
There are many rooms
I think its an ad agency
I have a photo and resume
They don't pay any attention
Very formal
Many men
Many rooms
Many people

Women walking around
Men walking around
I am done
I leave
Never hear from them
Time passes

Then one day they call me for a job.I am thrilled
Telling everyone, "Oh! that big ad agency called me"
"Oh! I got a job with the big ad agency>" I am shouting
Like a beggar we are happy to collect some crumbs from the prosperous floors

A man in black encounters me
There are many rooms
There are many men
The man in black instructs me

Give a pair of scissors
'Is it a scissor commercial?"
I wonder
Then he gives me a folded sheet, pink in color
Then another sheet, blue in color

Then shows me a photo
In the photo there are many people, mostly men
In the middle of the photo is a man wearing pink
'This is the man you will stab withe scissots."
The man in black instructs me
'Stab?"
I say
'Yes, he says."

These scissors must be a prop.  " I think
But scissors are for real.
Then another big man gives me a bowl full of some thing very dark in it to hold.
'How am I going to be able to stab some one with my hands so full
I put everything down but the scissors.

Now all those men seem like big MAFIA MEN
Now the big long tables are being laid out withe lots of food on them.
I am very hungry
But no one offers me food.
I am still carrying the scissors.
Another man replaces my scissors
Te first pair had some pink color in them
The new pair is shining white

I don't like the second pair
'It would be much easier to stab the man withe the first pair."
I think out loud.
My hand had a better grip on the first pair

'The train is on Mulberry street."
They keep announcing the subway stops
The man I am going to stab is on the subway
'How am I going to kill him while he is riding in a subway car
And I am in this so called ad agency>?
I ask myself
Maybe the man will come here after he gets off the subway

But in my dream its very clear that I have to stab him withe new pair of shining scissors
in the subway car....
So maybe I am already in the subway car?
Maybe this is the train my mother and my nieces came off from
And I am still there and being given a task of a murderer
Maybe I never came off the train....
Only they did...my family...
I am still in danger
But this is a job, I think....
Am I not some kind of an actress?
But this seems real
I haven't acted for a long time....

In the dream I am suppose to kill some poor fellow
with the scissors while he is sitting in the middle of some strangers
in a fast moving train while I am in a strange room with very strange and dangerous men.....

But why my mother was in that very train in which I am going to kill some one?
And my poor mother who is dead will have to see her  respectful daughter committing a crime?
But thank god my mother is dead...................
She won't have to see her daughter's demise...............
But why did I see her coming off the train?
Because she must have come off........
I saw her
I was already on the platform.........................
Then we were ready to go somewhere...........
Somewhere...with my mother and my nieces............
Somewhere nice and eat some good lunch..........
Since I was starving in the dream
And no one offered me any food
While there was so much food in the room.........
So much food............
And no one offered me.................
I must be in USA
In USA no one offers any food to any one
They just keep eating....
They paid for it
They are the only one who will eat that food............
Back home we gave a lot of food to strangers when they were hungry..............

I was for sure not at home.............
I came off the train on a desolate platform in USA.......................

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

ITS LATE IN THE DAY NOW
I HAVE FORGOTTEN MOST OF MY DREAM

But it was very dramatic
And I thought that I would quickly write it down
But alas!

This and that hapened
And it all evaporated
But it was something like this...

My elder sister was there
And then there was a beautiful young boy
Maybe her grandson
And we were having a wonderful time
Laughing and eating and chatting away
Mostly gossip....
Bad mouthing other people and relatives

And it was getting quite dark
And I wanted to take that little boy out
And my sister was totally against it
Because it was dark and gloomy outside
But that was the reason that I wanted to take us outside

I knew it was going to get gloomy inside as well....
It always happens in my dreams
Dark and depressing...
More and more now

People say, "You are getting old now."
"Oh! my dreams are getting dark and gloomy because I am getting old now?"
:Yes, they say."

People are nasty and un-happy
So they want to make others un-happy to ease their misery

"I am getting these heavy looking bags under my eyes."
I said to a woman I know
(Women are usually more nasty then men)
"Because you are getting old."
She said
'I fell down"
I said
"Because you are getting old."
She said
'I have no friends."
I said
"Because you are getting old."
She said.
"You have mentioned the word, "OLD" three times by now
in a very short breath of the time....
I asid
Walked away....
I have walked away from so many people after their rude remarks so often....
But I digress....

We were having a dream and there was a beautiful young boy in it
How come these nasty creatures, these unhappy women making un-pleasant comments came in?
Who knows...

But in the dream I took the young boy out
And he didn't seem so very young any more...

I mean young but not three years ...
He was now a great looking 12 or 13 year old
And a a dangerous looking, lecherous man wanted to kidnap
him....

And I was so frightened and so was the boy...
And the dangerous man forced us into dark alleys
and gutters and horribly deserted places and we screamed and screamed
For help and no one heard us and I was so scared of this man as well of my sister...

What am I going to tell her if god forbid I lose her son.....
My fear was ominous and complete
And I wanted to run and run and run but I couldn't...........
And I have forgotten the rest....

Thank god because the ending was not good
No, not good at all



.....

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

She was thereMy other sister
Qamar....

Young and beautiful
We were traveling somewhere
The night came
We had no night pyjamas

She opened her suitcase
She had night clothes for all of us
How thoughtful"  I said in my dream
'You knew everyone's size?"
"Yup" she said
"Its not so tough to know every one's size"
She said
"Weren't we born together?" she said

'Doesn't matter"  I said
'People forget."
'People forget everything"
'No love left, no affection left any more."

"Not with us"
She said
;Not with us."
"We will  be forever together and love each other"
She said.....

Then I woke up,,,,
We haven't heard from each other for years...
No one calls, no one cares.....
No one...........

Then I went to the bath room to pee
I am getting up often in the middle of the night to go pee........
And the pee comes like a rain storm...
Keep going...keep going
'Wow! I say...
'Who knew I had so much piss in me?"

Then I slept again
Thank god...
Because once I am up I can't go back to sleep

Then I dreamt another dream....
What was it?
What was it?
I can't remember
Can't remember at all..........
Not one image
None.....
But I swear I dreamt another dream....
I swear...
Can't remember.....................

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

it was me and Haroona
My sister....
And some one yelled,
"So and so is coming."

And we were always terrified of that name
And we ducked under the sink to hide
We were in some one else's room or house in South of France
And we felt that now we will have to go back without seeing nothing
And having no fun at all

Ten we were hidden in a car and some one was driving
And we were told that the driver was the one we were afraid of
And then we were much more afraid
Ten all of a sudden the driver turned his face towards us
And we were told that the driver wasn't the person we were afraid of....

And were being played upon again and again
And we were being frightened again and again
By some un-seen force and by some un-seen people
And then we were told that we can stay a little longer
And we were offered their place
The place where we have been very frightened.....

This was a second dream after I woke up and went to pee....
Before I went to pee was another dream

It was like we were rehearsing a play
There were lots of men in the group
Big men, Tall men, fat men wit bulging stomachs
They were part of a group but behaved as if they were
There on their own socializing in small little groups

They were always chatting amongst themselves And never sat in a circle facing me
I could not get their attention
They never shut up and never became one as a group
I tried so many times to get their attention
We had to start the rehearsal
The time was passing
The rehearsal room was booked for some particular time
And was given to someone else for another play

But the fat men chatted away
"Could we stop talking and begin?"
I said again and again but they won't hear me
They hardly ever noticed me
'Are they my actors?"
I desperately asked myself again and again
'And if they are, how come they are not listening to me?"
THEY WERE ACTUALLY NOT EVEN AWARE OF ME

But for sure in the dream we were supposed to rehearse
a play.....
And for sure in my dream it was my play
And for sure in my dream those were my actors
Those fat slobs
Those nonsense filled fat slobs were my actors
I was so ashamed in my dream.................
Te play never happened
Because it was never rehearsed
And then the time was up....................

Such a delight when printer is working without givig me tons of stress

A DREAM A DAY
A.K.A
WHILE BEING AWAKE
A
NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF

OPENS AT THEATER FOR THE NEW CITY
DECEMBER 1----21-2016