THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

It seemed like we were all attending a conference somewhere in an Important country
There were lots of men participating in whatever that conference was
I knew somewhere deep down in my heart that he was there also
A man I had once desired
I couldn't find him
I couldn't see him
I couldn't touch him
But I knew he was there somewhere amongst those men

All those men in the conference room desired me
I know that
But I was only looking for the one I desired
And desired for so long
I know he was there
Part of the conference
But I couldn't find him
I couldn't see him
I couldn't touch him
But I knew he was there somewhere amongst those men

All other men lost my attention
As if they were not there at all
As if the room was full of them but they weren't there at all
As if they all vanished
Vanished like thin air up in the clouds
And their Armani suits were just the shadows of them
Just shadows sitting in those plush chairs in the conference room
They were perhaps there but I couldn't see them
I couldn't careless actually
I was looking for the one I couldn't find
He was there somewhere outside the conference room
I know he was there
Maybe he was drinking champagne in the lounge waiting for me
He also knew that I was there
I know it
I know that he knew

We have been looking for each other for thirty years
We met once
But the time wasn't right
There were restrictions on, 'Love" and 'Desire"
So we contained our love and desire for each other in our bosoms
And moved far far away from each other
And desire became bigger and stronger
And today it will be fulfilled
After such a long time
After such a long long time
I will touch my love
The love I have been desiring for so long
And he is somewhere outside sipping champagne
And the others are asking and answering such boring questions and answers
in the conference room
Their bosoms are puffed up with the salaries they get for hyping themselves up
by saying things no one can understand
Roundabout questions and answers
Just so full of themselves
So full of themselves that their Armani suits are bursting
And they haven't even eaten the gourmet five course lunch
prepared for them yet................

They know everything
They have knowledge of science and biology and philosophy and religion and technology
and they are so important
So very important
Thats why they were invited
But why am I here?
I am not in a suit and I have no knowledge of technology and what it can do to fulfill
Our desires................
I just have desire for the man I met once
He was in white
It was a hoy, hot summer day
In a far away hot land
And we were in a garden
Full of jasmine and daffodils and birds such as bulbuls
Singing, singing songs of love
And we were in the garden
The same garden but on the opposite ends of the garden
He was in white
A white linen shirt
And white linen lose pants
I was also in white
A white flowing dress
It was a hot country
Mostly we wore white
He was on the opposite side of the garden
And he desired me
And I desired him
I know he did
Because I desired him..............

We never poke
But made a promise
That we will meet again
And then we will hold each other and kiss
We will kiss
Silently
We won't speak to each other
We won't say a single word
But we will meet
And we will kiss each other
We will fulfill our desire

And its been thirty years
And he is here
And I am here
And I know he is here
I just have to find him...................................
I loved him once
And I love him still
I just have to find him............................................