RASPUTIN'S ROOM

RASPUTIN'S ROOM

Plants
flowers
Biscuits
Cakes
Nuts
Samovar
Fox cover on the bed
Jams
Fruits

NATASHA:

Stop.
For God's sake stop.
Stop humiliating yourself over him
Stop humiliating yourself over any one
'Humiliation" is the worst word in the English language, stop using it
on yourself
He doesn't love you.
He doesn't love any one
He doesn't love at all
He doesn't know the meaning of love
He is a womanizer
He calls that spirituality
'Achieve nirvana through sex."
Thats his position on sex
That is his mantra
You know how many other women he sees over one weekend beside you?
HE HAS PLENTY OF WOMEN AT HIS DISPOSAL.THEY BECOME GURU AND gOD
AND STUPID WOMEN LIKE YOU RUN TO THEM IN DROVES

SONIA:
I am not a stupid woman

NATASHA:
Then what are you?
Crying over a man who has fifty wives and one thousand mistressess

SONIA:
He doesn't have fifty wives, he has only one

NATASHA:
Oh! how great, he only has one wife whom he leaves behind in the Siberian village
and chase women in Petersbergh all year

SONIA:
He doesn't chase women, women chase him

NATASHA;
Of course, I forgot, women, cry babies, sentimental cows chase him seeking god's forgeivness
from their sins which they are committing right under god's nose if there is any god at all in the name
of royal orgies....

SONIA:
You should respect him a little more, he is sent from god to heal

NATASHA:
Not to heal, not to heal at all, to screw you and all others.. Have some respect for the woman race

SONIA:
Yes, like you, in the name of failed feminism...

NATASHA:
Feminism?
What feminism?
Feminisim hadn't started yet.  That was in Russia of 1900. .Feminism  started because of men like him
and you talk about him in the present time, you are out of your mind.

SONIA:
He is a healer, he brings back the dead.  He has healed so many sick and dying children

NATASHA:
And now he is going to heal you?  What a pussy you are? Its not 1900 right now, its 2013 and all gay men have already married and now fighting over the property rights and their relatives will fight over the houses in Marth's Vinyard and the Hamptons afterwards....
And she is talking about frauds in the name of healing.  Wake up sweetheart, wake up...
You are not in Russia, there is no Russia, no Rasputin, and no Rasputin's room and no fruits in there
YOU ARE HALLUCINATING WITH FEVER, THE FEVER YOU CALL, LOVE BUT ITS JUST
BRONCHITIS AND DEATH HAS BEEN CHASED AWAY BY DEADLY COSTUMES AND ONE OF THEM IS TRYING TO LOOK LIKE RASPUTIN BUT HIS COSTUME IS LOUSY.
YOU ARE NOT DYING, YOU ARE ACTING, ITS HALLOWEEN AND EVERY ONE IS ACTING, EVEN THE DEATH IS ACTING, DEATH IS ACTING LIKE DEATH WITHOUT BEING REAL DEATH AND RASPUTIN IS LONG DEAD IF HE EXISTED AT ALL...
THINGS WE HAVE NOT SEEN, DON'T EXIST BECAUSE WE HAVEN'T SEEN THEM WITH OUR OWN EYES...WE WILL ONLY DIE WHEN WE WILL SEE DEATH RIGHT IN THE EYES AND RASPUTIN , THE ONE YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH IS NOT RASPUTIN AT ALL, ITS THE COSTUME, THE COSTUME A BUM IS WEARING TO WIN A PRIZE SO HE CAN
DRINK CHAMPAGNE AND SCREW SOME STONED WOMEN LIKE YOU...
ITS ALL about screwing and sucking and fucking, nothing else, there is no love, there is no one to love, they lie, the men I mean...all of them, and I am telling you because I was married 7 times and now I am a full fledged woman who is full of hatred for men, for women, and for the whole human race.  I wish the death lurking around the lobby was real and would catch all of them, all of you, the whole human race and me...Then I will be happy, then I will be content tonight, then I will drink and sleep and enjoy my freedom from you , from you and from the whole ugly life which is no life but its death, death, death..... Death is here but we are not going to die, just stoned, stoned out of our brains, dreaming of history and its victory but no human being ever won, no one...Every one lied about the winning but every one lost, only death won.  They are all dead, Arn't they?  Rasputin and the duke and the Dutchess and Russia and all the other Empires with it.  Love no one honey, love your self, get stoned on wine and Hashish like Baudelaire said or get stoned on Poetry but get stoned nevertheless.
Thats the only way to scare death, thats the only way......
Oh! I am so stoned, so stoned and I had no wine yet, no wine, no poetry, no virtue....
and no Sonia....Oh! Sonia, Sonia, where art thou Sonia?



Oh! I am so stoned, Sonia, Sonia, where art thou Sonia?

HALLOWEEN

HALLOWEEN

What to perform at halloween?
What to say?
What to cry about?
What to laugh about?
What to wear?
What to say?
What to perform?

About death?
Or about life?
Or about in between?

In between perhaps
Yes, In between

In between death and  life
Or is it the opposite way?
In between life and death?

But it comes to the same thing
What is the meaning of halloween any way?
To scare death...
Some say

To scare death?
To look like death and still try to scare death

Why death will be scared by some one who looks like death?
But how do they know what death looks like?
Have they met death before?
At a party?
Or at a wedding?
Or at a funeral?
Or at a picnic near the edge of a river?
Or in the middle of the Ocean when their aircraft PLUNGED INTO IT?

THEY SEEM SO CONFIDENT ABOUT DEATH'S FACE
How come/
Its just stereotyping
Saw some photographs of death and assumed death's face a certain way
More scary than death actually
But death is still laughing at you
Death is in the lobby
Who knows when it will get you
The moment you step into that crowded hallway
Death will grab you
You won't even know it
You won't even imagine it
You won't even think it
You are so proud of your costume
But its dark,
Its black
Its white
It shimmers
It glows
It hides
It scares
It shines
It blinds you
It cheats you
You think you are enjoying yourself
Don't you
Wait till you get into that lobby
If I were you I won't take a step out side this room
If I were you I will stay stuck in this chair
If I were you I will never leave this seat

But let me tell you death will still come
No matter where you hide death will be coming
You think this is a depressing topic?
Death, death, death

Go out and see how many creative artists and theater goers and the
bored house wives look so glamorous  and deadly to night
They want to either match death or defeat death
The one who will be able to scare death to shit will win the prize today
But we will all win the prizes some day
No you don't want to?
So why did it take you one week to make this out landish costume?
I don't understand
Yes, thats right,
I don't understand

When I tell people honestly that I don't understand your holidays
They say, "NO.YOu don't.  You are a foreigner."
So Thats what I think and now believe
That I don't understand
Yes, I am an outsider
Yes, death won't come to me here
Its not my land
I don't understand and the people who were born here tell me that I don't understand
Are correct
And that is the reason that I don't understand what Halloween is all about?
Is it about life?
Is it about death?
Is it between living and dying?
Or is it about living or dying?
Or is it about never dying?
Or is it about living for ever?
Or is it just a party to have fun till we die?

So can an outsider allowed to have fun till he/she dies?
Can a foreigner who doesn't actually understand anything about the foreign culture
in which she/he lives join and enjoy the party?
If you give me the permission I will stop asking what its all about
I will stop asking the many questions I have about life and death
If you allow me I will just not think about existence and its meanings and faults and aches and paains
and just enjoy the party
If you allow me I will go out and boldly encounter death in the lobby and under the influence of cheap red wine and still dodge death
If you will allow me I will laugh at the face of its ugliness and have another glass of red wine
If you will allow me I will go into the bigger room where people who will never die are dancing
If you will allow me I will join the singing dervesh and dance with him till dawn
If you will allow me the foreigner I will like to be like you thinking its my land, my party, my
halloween, though I don't understand what ius the meaning of it just enjoy myself neverthe less
If you allow me I will always live like this....
Never understanding anything, never questioning anything, never be critical of anything,
never worrying about anything and always just enjoying myself
Yes, thats what I will do....
Just always enjoy myself
No questions asked
Questions are so boring
Boring, boring, boring
Critical mind is too, boring, boring, boring....
Just enjoy life
Just enjoy life and whatever comes with it...
Halloween, thanksgiving, Christmas,
Eat turkey even if you can not swallow it
Eat turkey even if its not tasty and spicy to your taste buds
Eat turkey, I said, now thanksgiving is coming
And no questions asked about what is the meaning of thanksgiving
No questions put forqard to the nice people who invite you to thanksgiving...
Don't say what are you giving thanks for?
No, no questions...
You are a guest in some one's house
No questions
Remember you are a foreigner with no understanding of other people's holidays
You are here just to enjoy whatever comes
And many things do come your way...
Many holidays, many, many holidays
Presidents day
Columbus day
Mothers day
Fathers day
Thanksgiving
Halloween.....
Shut your brain and have fun
Shut your brain, I said and have some wine
No questions
Arn"t you tired of your brain?
Relax.....Be calm....
Whatever the meaning of anything is, is not your concern
Your concern is to just enjoy....
Enjoy whatever comes your way...no matter what comes your way
Rats, dogs, mice, dog's shit, pizza, hummus, turkey.............
Just don;t be a turkey
Just eat turkey.....
Think its delicious
See its delicious
See, death which will be avoided tonight is also delicious
Look how many people who look like death are so delicious.......

SHAKESPEARE SEASON

SHAKESPEARE SEASON

SHAKESPEARE EVERYWHERE IN NYC

What's going on?
America has gone Shakespeare
Romeo and Juliet here
Rome and Juliet there
Romeo and Juliet everywhere
Just saw an old movie, Romeo and Juliet:Zefferelli
Saw Romeo and Juliet at CSC
Missed Romeo and Juliet at broadway
Romeo at CSC was miscast
Didn't have the voice or the ChARISMA
for some one to fall in love with instantly
Doesn't have the powerful emotions to act the last death scene either
Some other cast members were better such as the Frier and the father of Juliet
The nurse played spanish speaking,(Maybe they spoke Spanish in Verona those days)
Or the servants were Spanish but it didn't match the rest of the show
Juliet's mother also spoke Spanish once in a while.
I guess to understand the nurse she had to.
I find the whole scheme the Frier came up with about the sleepy potion and
faking Juliet's death and Romeo missing the letter (Ok, he could easily miss the letter
but she dying of false death and then waking up)
What was he thinking?
...............

Then saw Julius Caesar, all women cast at St Ann's Warehouse.
Very uncomfortable space, lot of security to get in, (Part of the staging)
Lot of sound effects plus camera filming the live stabbing of Caesar, not very effective.
Lively production though, women in prison acting out Julius Caesar, women had lots of energy
my favorite was Frances Barber playing Caesar and the woman playing Portia was good but the best was the actress playing Cassius, Brutus, Harriet Walters good too but Mark Anthony was disappointing,
didn't have the passion to evoke revolt.  As a whole an enjoyable show giving women actress a great chance and it was multiethnic casting which is always good and is more in England than here.
Here by the way for a change a black woman is playing Juliet on broadway which is very progressive.
Now I have to catch Richard the 111 and Mid summer nights dream....a lot of Shakespeare...
America has gone classic

SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY

SO PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY

REVOLUTION

You should have revolution against yourself.
Change your ways and change your surrounding and  change bad elements
of your stubborn habits into good elements.
Do things which makes you feel better and things which makes you
enjoy yourself.  And laugh more.  You used to.
.............

'Look for temporary peace during the day--everyday.
Nothing is permanent."  BS
........
Paintings by the insane.
Paint more. Paint constantly.  You are very insane and if you are not
you try very hard to be.  You are a perfect candidate for painting.
Thats it.  Revolution.  Change the bad elements into good ones.
Change insanity into painting.
........  

YOU EXIST

YOU EXIST

"But you exist too my dear, and for you existence is weariness and unhappiness."  Pavese

'I seek sadness because I was always sad at the time of dusk---
The time when the two times meet---
There was always huge emptiness within at the time of meeting meeting of times."  BS

"The fate and the sea is between me and my loved ones." BS

"Believe me.  Its not worth it.  Nothing is worth it."  BS

"TAKE BACK ANGER."

A NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF

Laughter is the answer.

Transfer humiliation into laughter
Transfer despair into laughter
Revenge of laughter

"His laughter got even for those sources of humiliation."

In search of laughter

Translate grief into assertiveness, lots of assertiveness, intense assertiveness
Sadness translate into blazing wit, outrageous wit off and on stage, lethal wit.

Becomes friends with the ones you are angry with.

Transfer humiliation into laughter.
Don't love no people.  Just be friends with them.
Don't confront, don't interfere
Laughter is the medicine one needs.
Travel is another great way to get rid of grief.
MY TRAVELS, MY WONDERFUL TRAVELS.

I WILL GO TO LONDON
QAIRO
BEIRUT
JORDAN
SYRIA
ALEXANDRIA
LONDON
IN MY DREAMS
I WILL TRAVEL
IN MY DREAMS i WILL BE HAPPY
iN MY DREAMS i WILL LIVE
FOREVER CONTENT
IN MY DREAMS I WILL LIVE WITHOUT GRIEF
IN MY DREAMS I WILL EXIST...........

PUFFIN WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY

PUFFIN WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY

No talk of S
No talk of A
No wasting T with any one
No going out just to go out
Exercise
Cook at home
Look for W, W, W, W W, W.
Make some M
For heavens sake apna damag theek kr lai
Baari dher ho ghai aey
Forget about A
Forget about A
forget about it
Keep cool with K
Hun Apna damag theek kurn thee koshash kur lo...
Khuda thaa wasta jey...
Kush hosh kuro

Have a great day!

EYES WITHOUT SHAME

EYES WITHOUT SHAME

Who do you think I am?

They will call when they will.  Don't worry about it.

Just got really busy

Gates of nothingness

The emptiness of nothingness

The emptiness is in the bones

I looked nothingness in the face and I said,

Who do you think I am?

GRIEF
A
NEW PLAY
BY
BINA SHARIF

copyright:2013

ITS ABOUT GRIEF

'You don't know what nothingness is."    Pavese

Your destiny is the fact of your being."  Pavese

I WAS LOOKING FOR MYSELF

I MISPLACED MYSELF SOMEHOW."  BS

Recover the past, present, unknown future through writing.
Write down your pain.
Write down your sorrow.
Write down your grief....BS

"That season is over when I wept.  I was no longer looking for any one but for myself....Pavese

"Nothingness is everything.
Nothingness has so much in it.
Nothingness engulfs you.
You scatter like ashes, you disintegrate
You disappear."  BS

Why do you call people?
People who don't return your calls
People who don't pick up
People who are busy texting , twittering,
Why do you behave vulnerable?
Why do you behave that you need them?
Why do you call people who behave so very important/
Why do you call people who assume a great significance about them?
Why do you call people who contribute nothing positive towards your well being?
Why do you call people who just take your time?
Why do you call people who make you sad when they don't call you back?
Why do you call people who only take from you, who take your effort to reach out
Why do you call people at all?
LONELY ARE YOU?

Not calling today
Not calling tomorrow
Not calling day after
Not calling period

With strangers in chance encounters are you in love?

Don't, they won't love you back
No one loves back
Give yourself no pain of love
Love no one
Love the monkey
Monkey is no longer to be found
All monkeys have been turned into human beings
They were better off when they were just monkeys.

Stop being vulnerable
Stop being so wanting....
Wanting, always wanting, wanting not money, not diamonds, not boats, not cars, not houses...
But wanting, always wanting......
Your want has no definition, no shape, no outlines, no lines at all
Your want can't be fulfilled
Your want is hazy, your want is floating, your want is adrift, your want can't be caught
Your want can't be fulfilled because it c
can't be possessed.

All useless,spineless,cowardly worms

Instead of fighting, swallow the insult but never allow it to happen again.

You can understand anything but people.

Don't please.  Please don't.

In short you are not happy...Pavese

Day by day its different.  I feel a weariness for things....Pavese

"I like being where men are but a little bit apart.
I don't look for any body in particular, and I converse with those who know how to talk."  Pavese

'I am trying to survive through the wisdom of others- they teach me how to be sad
I am with others through their words."  BS