Sunday, June 28, 2009

JUST TALKED AND DID NOTHING ELSE ALL DAY JUST TALKED

Talked to the strangers
Talked to the people I know
Talked to people I hardly know
Talked to people I don't know

Just talked and talked and talked

Doing must be better than talking
But doing is so hard some times
Most of the time it is so very hard
People are all doing
I am just talking

But I am not people
I am not people at all
I am not a doer
People are doers
I am a talker

'Want to talk ?"
"Sure."
"Lets talk then."
"Yes, sure, lets talk."

"Do ?"
"What ?"
"Do."
'Never heard of the word, do."
"What does that word mean ?"
'Lets talk."
"Yes, lets talk."

All day gone
Talking
Talking about this and that
About weight gain
And then eating
So constructive everything is
So constructive
Not doing anything
Like being at the beach
Not doing anything
Just lying there in the sun
Looking at the waves coming in and then going out
Waves coming in and then going out
All day
The same activity
Activity neverthe less
All day
Not talking though
Waves don't talk
They do
They rush in and go out
They come in again and fade out again
All day
They dp
I talk
But I am not an occean
I am not a wave
I am just a talker
All day talked and talked and talked
Talked about this and that and then this and that again
All day
"Ashamed of yourself ?"
"Very."
"Why ?"
"For talking"
"For not doing, but talking."
"Tomorrow don't talk at all."
"I will try."
"Good."
"OK."
"THen tomorrow do something."
"Ok."
"Don't forget."
"I won't."
"Promise ?"
"Promise I will only talk tomorrow again and do nothing again."
"Ashamed of yourself ?"
"Very."

Saturday, June 27, 2009

I, YOU AND ME AND NO ONE KNOWS THE ARTIST'S PAIN

Nothing exists between you and me
Nothing exists even in I
Everyday the promises and everyday
Broken

Why make a promise ?
There is no urgency of time, love, attraction, affection, surprise
Just disappointment
All day, everyday
The artist is disappointed...
All day, every day
In I, you and me.....
We have promised to hurt the artist.......

That's the only promise being kept
First the disappointment in you
Then in I
Then in me

Just like a machine which repeats the function as ordered
Disappointment on sleeping
And then waking up
And then in the morning
And then in the afternoon
And then in the evening
And then at the time of sleeping
And then during sleeping
And then while waking up
And then while awake

Everything is dull and is of immense effort
Surrounded by wrong people
Nice people but wrong people
Wrong for the head and the heart
Money conscious people
Money making people
Money thinking people

No artist is around
No art around
Need to find the artist
The artist is dead
Or is dying
Dying and now dead
Dead...Dead...Dead...Dead.
Like Michael Jackson

They killed him
The one's everyone worries about
The fame sellers
The one who give fame if you are lucky
And then take it away
And then you are called, "Un-lucky...
They give you fame because you are lucky and un-lucky at the same time

They invent horrifying stories to take that fame away
The fame they gave you
And are now sorry that they gave it to you
Now they plot and plan and scheme to take it back from you
They humiliate you throughout the World
And that's their power

When they gave you fame
They felt powerful
Then years pass
And they don't feel powerful
They need to
So they create a Scandal
and take that power away from you

They rip you in pieces
They rip you in shreds
They are intact themselves
They feel powerful again

Now you are in pieces
Now you are in shreds
Now you want to be whole again
Now you try again and again and again
Now you try and you die....

And they feel powerful again
That was their ultimate power
But the one dies is still disappointed in himself
Deep down is disappointed in himself....

Disappointed sleeping
And disappointed waking up
Disappointed in the afternoon
And disappointed in the evening
No art
And no artist
The artist is dead....

They killed him
You, I and me killed him
Though we were not that powerful at all
But he thought we were....
That was the mistake of the artist
That was the tragedy of the artist
He gave every Tom, Dick and Harry importance
And tried so hard to counter their false accusations and slander
Tried so hard that it killed him
It killed the artist....

Not the slanderer
Because he had no heart
No soul
No art in him
He was not an artist

Art is sensitive
Art is never vicious
Only the destroyer of art are vicious, mean, cruel
Not to be taken seriously
But they are the giver of fame
And you and I and me want it
We want that fame which kills

And the disappointment of the night and of the afternoon
And of the evening is not to have that fame
That fame...
Which you and I and me wants....
Kills....
And you and I and me still want that fame ...
And the disappointment of not having it keeps us awake at night
And sad and gloomy and depressed during the day....

But that very fame will kill you one day
But you and I and me, we want it.....
Perhaps we all want to die....
With the death of art
The artist want to die too...

The artist is surrounded by the wrong people
By the money wanting people
By the money thinking people

They put the artist down all day long....'You should think money."
"You are so good, you should be making tons of money."
"I don't understand that you make no money from your art ?"
"Why don't you make money from your art ? What's wrong with you ?"
"You should be famous."
"YOU SHOULD BE FAMOUS."
"YOU SHOULD BE FAMOUS."

I, YOU, AND ME SAY IT ALL DAY LONG TO THE ARTIST
AND THE ARTIST IS SO DISAPPOINTED IN HIMSELF TILL THE DAY HE DIES
WE KILLED HIM.....
THE ARTIST IS DEAD.....
I, YOU AND ME DISAPPOINTED HIM...............

Dedicated to Michael Jackson








Friday, June 26, 2009

CLEAN LINES

The lines were so detailed and sharp
It was like who did this ?
Was it the hand of god ? or the creation of god
Creating ?

The lines, crisp and fresh and original and meticulous
would continue in a manner of the ballet dancer's fluidity
Movement and continuity
Continuity and movement

It was so heart wrenchingly beautiful...
Stunning strength of purpose and detail
And still it was hardly visible
The eye had to really concentrate
on the details and the movement of the fingers which drew it
The clarity was all

Saturday, June 20, 2009

OUT OF CONTROL

Now it is
Its out of control

It was never in control to begin with
But now it has gone totally out...

Everyday is the same story.
Every day its the same routine

Of nothingness
Nothingness is good if its put to any use
In this case its just nothingness
Nothing will come of nothing at the end

What other end ?
End is already approaching
Approaching and approaching fast
Who says it was valuable

The experience of exile
What naive piece of shit it was
She was, he was, it was, they were,
Exile it was

Came to the exile for adventure
Didn't know the meaning of adventure
No. Not at all
No body would have come

Go to the garden
Which garden ?
Which garden ?
Which fucking garden ?

You never had a garden
And you always talk about the garden
You never had a garden
Your mother never had a garden
Your father never had a garden
Your grand father never had a garden

What is this garden you talk about all the time ?
Garden, garden, garden, garden,
I am sick of  your garden
I am sick of your fucking romance with a garden without a gaeden

Get hold of yourself
You are loosing control over just one word
And its a nice word
Garden is one of the nicest word in the English language

Because they all have their gardens
All the English have their gardens
Big gardens,
Small gardens,
Gardens every where in England
You should have exiled yourself in England
Where you would spend time in the gardens and not go insane like now

You better control yourself and stop talking about the garden...
You live in the East Village where the tiny little
Plots with a few trees have become condos....
And you still are hung up on the idea of a garden

Talk of cement and steel and sheet rock and face reality
Reality is the most important thing
Reality is the real play
All the realistic plays are commercial
Those plays make money
Those plays gets published
Those plays go abroad
Those plays gets taught in the academy

Your abstract garden is an abstract play
Its not going to sell
Write a play with a kitchen sink and a toilet
Your imaginary garden has no blossoms in it
Your play won't sell

I am not a playwright
Who are you then ? Every one here is a playwright...
Not me
Then why are you here /
Go find a real garden and live in it, don't live here
Only playwrights live here and they have to face reality and write real plays
Not just Imagine them...but write them....

I am not a playwright
What are you then ?
I am an exile who is now loosing control
You mean you were once in control ?
I was.... 
No exile is ever in conrtrol
I was...
Then what happened
I lost control
How ?
Thats a long story...the loss of control
A long story
I will tell you another day
Right now I have to go to the garden for a walk...................



Thursday, June 18, 2009

MONEY AND WHO HAS IT AND WHO DOESN'T

You have the money ?
I don't

Do you have the money ?
I don't

Do you have the money ?
No, I don't....

Who has the money then ?
I don't know

How come ?
How come what ?
How come you don't know ?
Don't know what ?
How come you don't know who has the money ?
And who doesn't....

Why would I know ?
You have to know
Why ?
Its your job to know
Its not my job
Its your job
How come /
Its your job because its your money....

Its not my money
That's the problem...its your job to know where your money is ?
But  its not my money
Its your money, you shit head...Its your money and you have to know who has your money....

Why would they have my money ?
Because you don't have it

It makes no sense
To you it doesn't that's why you don't have the money and they have the money.

I don't know who has the money and who doesn't have the money....
All I know is that I don't have the money

Then who has it /
They have it
Who is they ?
The bankers and all

The bankers have your money ?
I mean, they must, they have so much money

But they say, they don't have any money
So who has the money ?
I don't know...All I know is that I don't have it....

Why don't you have the money ?
Because I don't
Why not ?
I don't know...
All I know is that I don't have the money and they have the money

And its your money and they have it,right ?
I don't know if its my money...all I know that they have it....

Who is they ?
The hedge fund people
Who are the hedge fund people ?
People who hid the money in a hedge....

They hid the money in a hedge ?
Yes, that's why they are called, 'THE HEDGE FUND MONEY."
You don't know what you are talking about....They can never have so much money under the hedge....

Its a metaphorical hedge you Idiot....
You mean there is no hedge ?
Yes, just the money...Just the money...No hedge at all....
Just the money then ?
Yes, just the money....Tons of money....
Where did they get it from ?
From you silly, its your money....

Its not my money, I never had any money
That's why you didn't have any money because they took your money
So what should I do now ?
Get your money back
Back from where ?
From the hedge fund people

But you said, the hedge fund people don't exist....
I didn't say that...I said that the hedge doesn't exist..The people do exist and the money does exist and that money is your money and you have to take your money back from them
How ?
Ask Obama to get it back from them...He knows all the bankers and the hedge fund people...They funded him...and since it was your money, you funded him and since you funded him he ows you your money back since he got the office now with your money.....

Listen, I am glad He got the office but It was not my money....I never had any money....

You are such a looser, even Obama who is such a positive person can help you....
You are a looser and losers can not have money, they can't even get their own money back....Such losers....We have so many losers in our country that's why they don't have any money and bankers do....Because bankers are winners
and its the winners who get the big positions with a lot of money....

Losers will stay as losers because they don't want help and here I am wasting my precious evening....Trying to help some  pathetic losers who don't know the meaning of money....

I am a loser but I do know the meaning of money, I just never had any.....Never had no money.........Never....Ever.....Never.

Wednesday, June 17, 2009

FORCE YOURSELF

Force yourself ?
Yes.
To do what ?
To go
To go where?
To work
Work ?
Yes.
Work where ?
Where ever your work is
You use this word, "Where ever."
 a lot
Yes. why not
Why not, what ?
Go to work, force your self to go to work, its not easy, easy for any one, I force myself to go to work every day
But you have work to go to
You don't ?
Don't be an idiot
What do you mean ?
You say that a lot too, "What do you mean ?"
Yes, what do you mean ?
I said, go to work where ?  I don't have a job...
Go, look for one...
You have all the answers....
Not all, some, I have a job
Go away from me
I am away from you
Not much away...go away...far....some where...far far away....

Tuesday, June 16, 2009

WALK IN THE PARK

Walk in the park
 or around the park ?
Where-ever

Walk in the park
Or around ?

Where-ever

I am not clear
About what ?

Walk in the park 
or around the park ?

Where-ever...

What is it ?
Yes, what is it ?

Why can't you decide ?
Decide what ?

To walk in the park
Or around the park

I need you to tell me
Why ?

I am dependent on you

For what ?
To know from you to walk in the park
Or around....

This is absurd
Yes, it is....

Why ?
Why what ?

Absurd ?
It is

What ?
Absurd

Why is it ?
What /

Absurd
Because its an absurd play

You are writing a play?
Yes....

Why ?
Because I write plays

Who says so ?
What ?

Who says that you write plays ?
I do 

Who are you ?
The playwright

The playwright never says that he is a platwright
Who says it then ?

The critic
Leave the critic out of it

Why ?
Because I am a critic now

But you said, you are a playwright
And a critic

Critic is never a playwright
Never say never

Feingold is a playeright
He is a critic

He is a critic who is a playwright
He is a translator of plays

He translate ?
Yes, he does

From what to what ?
From English to French
and from French to English

Oh, wow...he has such ability
Yes, he does.

Than why is he a critic ?
So he can criticise

Criticize who ?
You

Why me ? I am not a playwright
Become one so he can criticize you

Why do I have to be criticized by him ?
Because he is able

He can translate English into French
And French into English

But he is still a critic
So what ?

He can kill you
Why ?

Because you are a playwright
Who says so ?

You did
I did ?

Yes...
When ?

A while ago
What did I say ?

You said you are writing an absurd play
That doesn't make me a playwright

But you said......
I can say anything I want......

Don't say things which are not true
What's not true ?

That you are a playwright
Why not ?

He will be upset
Who ?

The critic
And ?

Will write bad things about you
I can write bad things about him

But you are not a critic
But I am ansurd

You are ?
Yes, I am

I am absurd
I need permissions

Permission for what ?
Permission to walk in the park

Or around the park
Why ?

Because I am absurd and I am in an absurd situation
What situation ?

I am under your control
I have to ask for permission to go for a walk
In the park
Or around the park

Why do you seek permission ?
Because I am controlled

Thats absurd
Yes, its absurd

That's why I call it a play
That's why I talk about critics

My absurdities have become plays
So the critics come and talk about it ?

Critics don't talk about me
I talk about the critics

Why ?
Because I am an absurd person
I am an absurd person who is in absurd situation
Which I call a ,"Play."

Good, now you can meet the critic
In the park ?
Or around the park ?
Tell me where can I meet the critic for my absurd play ?

In the park ?
Or around the park ?

Neither....
You are not going to meet the critic either in the park
Or around the park ?
Why ?

The critic don't go to the park
Where does the critic go ?
The critic goes to the theater
To do what ?
To criticize
To criticize who ?

You
Me ?
Yes
Why ?

Because you write absurd plays
Who said that ?
You
I ?
Yes, you

I said that I write absurd plays /
Yes, you said that
When ?
A while ago
A while ago ?
Yes

And you still believe what I said a while ago /
Of course
Why ?
What do you mean why ?

You believe things people say ?
Sure
You are absurd
No, you are

I am what ?
You are absurd
Who said that ?
You said that

I said that ?
Yes, you said that
You believe that ?
Sure
Why ?
I believe....

You believe everything people say ?
Well....
Well what ?
Not everything

Why not ?
I don't know
Why don't you know ?
I don't know
Why not ?

You are absurd
Who said that ?

I am tired
You are
Why ?
You exhausted me
You are delicate

I am exhausted
Go for a walk
Where ?
In the park

In the park ?
Or around the park ?
Or around the park ?