NOTEBOOKS CONTINUE: KARIMA'S DESPAIR

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUE: KARIMA'S DESPAIR

HATE PROJECT

THEY VARE ALL TEXTING
I LEARNED NOTHING
I HATE TECHNOLOGY
I HATE MYSELF AS WELL

I HATE MYSELF
AND THE CELL PHONE
AND THE TEXTING
AND THE UPLOAD

AND DOWNLOAD
EMAIL, GMAIL, YAHOO
EARTHLINK, INTERNET
GOOGLE SEARCH, SEARCH ENGINE

FACEBOOK, TWITTER, INSTAGRAM
I HATEB OTHER PEOPLE'S FACES
THEIR NOSES, THEIR EYES, THEIR MOUTHS
THE WAY THEY WALK

THE WAY THEY TALK
THE WAY THEY STARE AT ME
THE WAY THEY HAVE A CONDESCENDING LOOK
LOOK OF SUPERIORITY

I HATE ALL FAKE PEOPLE
FAKE CONVERSATIONS
FAKE PARAISE, FAKE CONCERNS
THEIR LACK OF MANNERS

THEIR ENORMOUS COMPLIMENTS
WHICH THEY KEEP PAYING TO THEMSELVES
LACK OF POLITENESS, SOPHISTICATION
THEIR LACK OF KNOWLEDGE

THEIR LACK OF LEARNING
I HATE WHATEVER THEY DO
I HATE WHATEVER THEY ARE CAPABLE F DOING
AND WHATEVER THEY ARE NOT CAPABLE OF DOING

WHICH IS A LOT
THEY ARE CAPABLE OF NOTHING
BUT DESTRUCTION OF THE HUMAN RACE
THEY VOTE FOR WAR

I HATE WAR
AND I HATE PEOPLE WHO VTE FOR WAR
I HATE ARMY
I HATE CORPORATIONS
I HATE POLITICIANS

I AM FULL OF HATE
SOME DAY WHEN THE WORLD ET BETTER
I WILL PURGE MY HATE
OUT OF MY BODY

LIKE A DUMP
LOSE, WET, GOOEY DUMP
AND ALL THE HATE WOULD LEAVE MY BODY
FOR EVER AND FOREVER

AND I WILL FEEL BETTER
I HAVEN'T FELT GOOD FOR A LONG TIME
HATE MADE ME FEEL AWFUL
BUT I COULDN'T DO ANYTHING ABOUT IT

THE WORLD AND PEOPLE IN IT WAS FALLING APART
AND IT'S THEM WHO BEGAN FIRST
THEY BEGAN TO HATE ME
FOR NO RAESON

BUT FOR MY NAME
BUT FOR MY FACE
BUT FOR MY RELIGION
BUT FOR MY BIRTH

THERE WAS NOTHING THAT I COULD DO
TO PREVENT THEIR HATRED TOWARDS ME
SO I STARTED TO HATE THEM BACK
AND IT KEPT INCREASING

I BECAME AN EXPERT IN HATE
I STARTED TO HATE ALL DOINGS
ALL STRUGGLES
ALL LIES

ALL BULLSHIT
ALL BULLSHIT
IT'S ALL BULLSHIT
I HATE ALL BULLSHIT

THERE WAS SO MUCH TO HATE
I REALIZED IN THE MIDDLE OF THE HATE PROJECT
SINCE THE WORLD DIDN'T INCLUDE ME IN THEIR PROJECTS
I DECIDED TO START MY OWN....

NOW I HAVE MY OWN HATE PROJECT
AND I AM SO SUCCESSFUL AT IT
I HATE ALL DAY LONG
I HATE ALL NIGHT LONG

BEFORE I WS NEVER BUSY
ALWAYS CALLING MY GIRL FRIENDS
"HI, YOU WANT TO GO FOR COFFEE?"
"OH! I  CAN"T.  I AM SO BUSY>"

I WILL CALL ANOTHER GIRL FRIEND
"WANT TO GO FOR A DRINK?"
"I CAN'T, SO BUSY."
THEY WERE ALL SO BUSY

"WHAT ARE THEY DOING ALL DAY?
THAT THEY ARE ALWAYS SO BUSY...
I SHOULD ALSO DO SOMETHING
SO I COULD BE SO, SO BUSY

"BUT WHAT SHOULD I DO?"
"I DO NOT HAVE THE SLIGHTEST IDEA
HOW TO BE BUSY
SINCE I DO NOT HAVE A JOB

NEVER HAD A JOB
EVERYTIME I WALKED IN
THEY WOULD JUST LOOK AT ME
AND MAKE FUCKING EXCUSES

"OH! WE HAVE NO VACANCY RIGHT NOW"
I WANTED TO TELL THEM
"YOU NEVER HAVE A FUCKING VACANCY FOR ME"
"I KNOW YOU ARE LYING

I KNOW YOU ARE ALWAYS LIEING
I KNOW YOU ARE FULL OF SHIT
FULL OF SHITTY RACISM
AND EXCUSES, ALL KINDS OF EXCUSES

SINCE I NEVER HAD A JOB
I THINK IT WAS MY ACCENT
OR MAYBE MY FACE
YES, IT WAS MY FACE

AND MY ACCENT
IT BWAS BOTH
I DIDN'T LOOK AMERICAN
AND IN AMERICA

YOU HAVE TO BE  AMERICAN
IN AMERICA
YOU HAVE TO BE BUSY
EVERY ONE WAS BUSY

BUT HOW SHOULD I BECOME BUSY?
I WONDERED
I WONDERED ALL THE TIME
WHY DON'T I EVER GET A JOB?

I WOULD SPEND MY WHOLE DAY
LOOKING FOR A JOB
AND AT NIGHT WONDERING
WHY DON'T i GET ONE?

SO ONE DAYIT HIT ME
THAT THEY ALL HATE ME
AND THAT WS A SHOCK
BECAUSE I DIDN'T HATE ANY ONE TILL THEN

WHY DO THEY HATE ME?
I AM SUCH A NICE PERSON
WHY DO THEY HATE ME?
I COULDN'T FIGURE IT OUT

BUT I WAS AS CERTAIN AS MY NAME
THAT THEY HAD SOME KIND OF DISLIKE
ENORMOUS DISLIKE
TOWARDS ME

WHY?
WHY?
WHY?
I WOULD ASK

AND THEN IT OCURED TO ME
THAT THIS IS A CULTURE OF HATE
THEYHAVE ENEMIES
AND THEY HATE THEM

BUT I AM NOT THE ENEMY
THEY THINK THAT YOU ARE
BUT WHY?
BECAUSE YOUARE NOT FROM HERE

BUT MANY PEOPLE ARE NOT FROM HERE
THEY HATE THEM ALL
WHY?
THEY LOOK DIFFERENT

OH! SO IF YOU LOOK DIFFERENT
YOU BECOME AN OBJECT OF HATE
I SEE, BUT ALL OF THEM
LOOK DIFFERENT TO ME

SO THEY CAN BECOME YOUR OBJECT OF HATE
GO AHEAD, HATE THEM
THEY LOOK DIFFERENT THAN YOU
THEY SOUND DIFFERENT TAHN YOU

PERFECT
PERFECT
EVERY ONE WHO LOOKS DIFFERENT
SOUNDS DIFFERENT

IS OF DIFFERENT COLOR HAS TO BE HATED
IN THE MODERN WORLD
YOU ARE IN THE MODERN WORLD
IT'S 21st CENTURY

THOUGH YOU DON'T KNOW ANYTHING ABOUT
MODERN TECHNOLOGY
YOU ARE STILL IN THE MODERN WORLD
START A NEW PROJECT

EVERYONE IS INTO PROJECTS
PROJECTS . ARE MODERN
PROJECTS KEEP PEOPLE BUSY
WHEN YOU CALL YOUR GIRL FRIENDS

THEY ARE BUSY DOING PROJECTS
THATS WHY THEY DON'T GO OUT
WITH YOU FOR COFFEE
THEY HAVE A PROJECT

WHICH KEEPS THEM BUSY
HAVE APROJECT
ABOUT WHAT?
ABOUT HATE

WHAT CAN BE STRONGER
THAN HATE?
AND YOU KNOW SO MUCH
ABOUT IT ALL READY

"OH! DO I KNOW ABOUT HATEN
SO MUCH TO START MY OWN PROJECT?"
"OF COURSE YOU DO"
"YOU HAVE BEEN HATED ALL YOUR LIFE."

"THAT MAKES SENSE
I AM GOING TO START MY PROJECT
TODAY
RIGHT NOW

"DEBUT OF A HATE PROJECT"
coyright: karima 2020
NOW ALL OF YOU CAN STAY BUSY
I WILL NEVER CALL YOU AGAIN FOR A COFFEE

I AM GOING TO BE VERY BUSY NOW
VERY, VERY BUSY NOW
YOU ONLY HATED ME
AND YOU WERE ALWAYS SO BUSY

I HAVE TOHATE THE WHOLE WORLD
AND EVERY ONE WHO IS IN IT
YOU CAN IMAGINE
HOW BUSY I AM GOING TO BE?

YOUR PHONE WILL NEVER RING AGAIN
AT LEAST NOT BY ME
YOU WON'THAVE THE SATISFACTION
TO TELL ME

"OH! I AM SO BUSY"
GUESS WHAT?
I AM BUSY NOW
I WILL BE BUSY

FOR EVER
I HAVE MY OWN PROJECT
AND IT'S CALLED
HATE PROJECT...

GOOD BY
OOD BY GIRL FRIEND
GOOD BY
GIRL FRIEND

I AM GOING TO BE JUST LIKE YOU
YOU AND YOU AND YOU
THE BUSY BODIES ...
WHO IS HATING  WHO NOW?

YOU CAN'T MATCH MY HATRED
IT'S HUGE
IT'S ACITY
IT'S A COUNTRY

IT'S A MOUNTAIN
IT'S A MARBLE PALACE
IT HAS FOUNTAINS SPROUTING HATE
FERTILIZING ALL

THE FLOWERS AND PLANTS
AND TREES
SO THEY CAN ALL HATE YOU
YES, THEY WILL

ALL HATE YOU
THEY ARE ALL PART OF MY PROJECT
MY HATE PROJECT
IT TOOK ME A LIFE TIME

AND NOW I HAVE MY OWN HATE PROJECT
DON'T EVER EVEN BY MISTAKE
TRY TO CONTACT ME
BECAUSE I AM CONSUMED WITH HATRED OFYOU.
....................................................................................................






.............................................................................

NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF

NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF

"DUST"

LOST IN HER SADNESS
REDUCED TO SMALLNESS
IN HIS PRESENCE."  ?

"AROUND HIM SHE MAKES
HERSELF SMALL."

"I AM HERE FOR ONE DAY
I CAN'T SOLVE ANY ONE'S PROBLEMS.
I CAN  NOT
AND I SHOULD NOT CHANGE ANY ONE'S LIFE."

"NEVER GET TOO ATTACHED
AVOID BEING NOTICED
DO NOT INETRFERE

"ANCHORED BY THE PROFOUND
DESPERATE LONILNESS." ?

"WE ALL WANT EVERYTHING TO BE OK
WE DON'T EVEN WISH SOMUCH FOR FANTASTIC
OR MARVELLOUS OR OUTSTANDING."?

"NOT THINKING OF ME
JUST SELLING HER GOODS
MAKING MONEY
HE IS THINKING OF MONEY
NOT THINKING OF ME."

"KNOWLEDGE IS THE ONLY THING
I TAKE WITH ME WHEN I GO.' ?

"I OBSERVE BETTER THAN OTHERS."

"WORN DOWN FROM TOO MUCH THOUGHT."

"REDUCING EVERYTHING THATS NOT US
INTO INCONSEQUENTIAL BLUR." ?

"I HAVE WANDERED FOR SO LONG
WITHOUT ANY SENSE OF PURPOSE." ?

"I ONLY HAVE A DAY TO GIVE
AND THAT DAY IS TOMORROW."

"SHE WAS AN ALCOHOLIC
HER MOTHER TOO...
SHE WENT FOR THERAPY
I DID TOO...

WE USED TO SIT AND ANALYZE
EACH OTHER...AS WELL AS MY
UNCLE, MY FATHER, MY BROTHER,
THEY WERE ALL ALCOHOLICS

AND I THINK MY GRANDFATHER AS WELL
AND MY GRAND MOTHER
SHE WAS ONE OF THESE SOCIETY WOMEN
IT WAS 1930

HER MOTHER NEVER DRANK
SHE WAS SO ANTI ALCOHOL
HER HUSBAND WAS ONE FOR A WHILE
FOR A SHORT WHILE WHICH BECAME A LONG WHILE

I HAD A FRIEND
WHO WAS AN ORGANIST
HE WAS NOT SUPPOSE TO DRINK
FOR SEVEN DAYS

HIS PARENTS WERE THERE
AND HE PLAYED THE ORGAN
AND WAS NOT DRINKING
HIS PARENTS WERE HIS WITNESSES ..."  ?

"I GUESS ITS OK TO BE DRY
AND TO BE HAPPY..."
...................................................

"KARIMA ULLAHA'S DESPERATE NEED TO BE LOVED"

KARIMA ULLAHA'S THERAPIST TOLD HER
TO SAY NO TO MOST OF THE THINGS WHICH
DO NOT BENEFIT HER AND ACTUALLY
DISRUPT HER CALM....

SHE HARDLY EVER EXPERIENCE CALM
BECAUSE MOST OF THE TIME SHE IS
OCCUPIED TRYING TO FIGURE OUT
HOW NOT TO PLEASE PEOPLE BANY MORE

IT'S NOT ONLY HER RELATIVES
TO WHOM SHE CAN'T SAY NO
BUT MOST OF THE PEOPLE
MOST OF THE TIME

PEOLE SHE COMES ACROSS SOCIALLY,
AT HER WORK, AT CAFE'S, AT THEATERS
FOR MANY YEARS SHE NEVER, OUT OF
HER FEAR OF REJECTION COULD SAY NO TO ANY ONE

SO SHE KEPT DOING THINGS FOR OTHERS
AT THE EXPENSE OF HER OWN TIME,
HER FINANCE, HER HEALTH, HER
ADVANCEMENT...

MORE SHE DID THINGS
MORE SHE FELT SOME KIND OF
UNCOMFORTABLE FEELING OF STRESS
AND ANXIETY

SHE WASN'T CONSCIOUS OF THE SOURCE OF STRESS
AND PEOPLE KEPT TAKING ADVANTAGE OF HER
BECAUSE SHE ALLOWED IT.
UNKNOWINGLY BUT STILL ALLOWED IT

ALLOWED PEOPLE TO SUBTLY ABUSE HER
AND NOT SO SUBTLY SOMETIME
THERE CAME A TIME WHEN PEOPLE
ORDINARY PEOPLE, SHE CAME ACROSS

OR EVEN HER LOVED ONES
STARTED TO ORDER HER AROUND
AND SHE ALWAYS HAD THE
ANXIETY OF OBEYING....

SHE WAS A GREAT PERSON
HIGHLY SENSITIVE,
HIGHLY INTELLIGENT
GIVING AND KIND

HUMOROUS, GENEROUS
CARING, SELFLESS
PATIENT, MAYBE TOO PATIENT
LOVING, MAYBE TOO LOVING

MANY PEOPLE WANTED HER TO BE AROUND
BECAUSE OF HER KNOWLEDGE
SHE WAS LIKE A WALKING, TALKING
DICTIONARY...

THEY LIKED HER COMPANY
SHE HAD HUMOR
SHE ENTERTAINED THEM
BUT THEY WERE NEVER AVAILABLE FOR HER

UNLESS IT WAS ABSOLUTELY CONVENIENT
FOR THEM.
ONLY WHEN IT WAS SUITABLE
FOR THEM TO SPARE SOME TIME FOR HER

BUT OTHERWISE
THEY BEHAVED
TO BE THE MOST IMPORTANT
ALWAYS BUSY PEOPLE

SINCE SHE HAD THIS MONSTROUS FEAR
OF ABANDONMENT
SHE DIDN'T KNOW IT
BUT SHE HAD IT

SHE WAS TERRIFIED
OF BEING ABANDONED
SO SHE WOULD ALWAYS
MAKE TIME FOR PEOPLE

AND FOR FAMILY
BUT THE FAMILY BEHAVED BUSY CONSTANTLY
AND ONCE IN A BLUE MOON
MAKE A FEW MOMENTS TO SPEND WITH HER

SUBCONSCIOUSLY, SHE WAS CONSTANTLY
DISTURBED ABOUT SOME GNAWING FEELING
TTHAT SOMETHING IS NOT RIGHT IN HER LIFE
HER LIFE WAS PASSING BY

AND PASSING BY QUICKLY
AND PASSING HER BY
RESTLESSNESS OF HER SOUL
KEPT INCREASING TREMENDOUSLY

TILL SHE COLLAPSED
AND BECAME SERIOUSLY ILL
AND WAS TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL
SHE HAD ALL THE ILLNESSES WHICH COME

WITH STRESS...
HER ACCUMULATED STRESS WAS SO MONUMENTAL
THAT IT MADE HER IMMOBILE
SHE COULDN'T MOVE

SHE COULDN'T MOVE AT ALL
TRAUMATIZED, SHOCKED
EMOTIONALLY AND PHYSICALLY
EXHAUSTED

SHE STAYED IN THE HOSPITAL FOR MONTHS
AND NOT MANY PEOPLE CAME TO VISIT GER
OR INQUIRED ABOUT WHAT HAPPENED T HER
OR ABOUT HER WHEREABOUTS...

AND WHY SUDDENLY SHE WASN'T
AROUND ANY MORE...
SINCE SHE WAS HIGHLY SENSITIVE
AND CURIOUS A PERSON

SHE WONDERED CONSTANTLY
WHILE SHE WAS RECOVERING
ABOUT PEOPLE
PEOPLE SHE KNEW AND CARED FOR

SHE WAS AMAZED THAT NO ONE WAS
CURIOUS ABOUT HER SUDDEN DISAPPEARANCE
SHE WONDERED IF PEOPLE THINK
OF ANY OTHER HUMAN BEING EVER

OR THEIR FACULTIES OF FEELING
AND COMPASSION HAVE FROZEN
INTO SLABS OF COLD ICE BLOCK
WHICH STAYS IN THE FREEZERS

OF HUMAN MIND AND HEART
WITHOUT EVER MELTING.
WHEN SHE CAME OUT OF THE HOSPITAL
HER RECOVERY WAS LONG AND HARD

SHE WAS MOSTLY ALONE
ISOLATED...
BUT SURPRISINGLY ENOUGH
WASN'T DESPERATE

NOR DID SHE EVER HAD THE DESIRE
TO SEE THOSE PEOPLE...
THE ONE'S SHE HAD BEEN OF
OFFENDING OR DISPLEASING

IN THE PAST.
"DESIRE" A LOVELY WORD
WHICH SHE USED AND FELT OFTEN
BECAME A STRANGER

SHE HAD NO DESIRE TO BE WITH ANY
OF THOSE SELF LOVING,
SELF INVOLVED STRANGERS"
WHOM SHE CALL"ED, "FRIENDS" ONCE

THERE WERE NO FEELINGS OF TERROR,
FEAR, EMPATHY, PASSION, CONCERN,
FONDNESS, WARMTH, LOVE, NEED

IN HER OF ANY OF THOSE
FOR WHOM SHE SPENT SO MUCH
OF HER PRECIOUS TIME WORRYING ABOUT
HER PRECIOUS TIME...

BEING ANXIOUS THAT IF SHE
SAID, "NO" TO THOSE
WHOM SHE THOUGHT WERE DEAR
TO HER...

IN SOME WAYS...
AND THUS SHE NEEDED THEM
FOR COMPANY PERHAPS
OR FOR FUN PERHAPS

OR FOR CONVERSATIONS
OR FOR SOCIAL LIFE
OR FOR FINANCIAL LIFE
ALL THOSE LESS SOLID

ALL THOSE FEELINGS DISAPPEARED
ALL CONCERNS, WORRIES, FEAR
LEFT HER...
AND SHE LEFT ALL THOSE FEELINGS BEHIND

SHE BECAME NUMB
OFF AND ON
AND FOR LONG PERIODS OF TIME
JUST NUMB, NOTHING ELSE...

BUT THE BEST THING WHICH
EVER HAPPENED TO KARIMA ULLAH
WAS, THAT HER LIFE LONG
FEELING OF DESPAIR

ABANDONED HER
ABANDONED GER LIKE THEY ALL ABANDONED
HER IN THE PAST
HER DESPAIR, LIFE LONG DESPAIR

JUST ABANDONED HER FOR EVER AND EVER.
...........................................................................................
ALL

KARIMA

KARIMA

THE TWO BEAUTIFULLY SAD POEMS I HAVE WRITTEN AT THE END OF 2019

'"THE ONLY DAY TO GIVE"
AND
"SADNESS"

THEY BOTH BELONG TO KARIMA.

SOME TIMES SAD THINGS ARE THE REAL THINGS

BECAUSE THEY ARE POEMS.

POEMS CAN BE HAPPY AS WELL

BUT I FOUND THESE TWO POEMS FOR KARIMA QUITE SAD

BUT TOUCHING AND SOULFL.

A DAY TO GIVE

A DAY TO GIVE

I ONLY HAVE ONE DAY TO GIVE
AND THAT DAY IS TOMORROW
TOMORROW I WILL GIVE
I PROMISE...

I WILL GIVE MY LOVE
MY AFFECTION
MY COMFORT
MY MONEY

TOMORROW,
I WILL GIVE
I PROMISE
LIKE I USED TO

LIKE I USED TO GIVE
EVERY DAY
EVERY DAY
WITHOUT FAIL

I GAVE
MY LOVE
MY AFFECTION
MY MONEY

I GAVE
AND THEN GAVE
AND THEN GAVE SOME MORE
AND THEN SOME MORE AND SOME MORE

I GAVE MY TIME...
THE MOST PRECIOUS
THING OF ALL
I GAVE MY PRECIOUS TIME

CAN YOU IMGINE/
I GAVE MY TIME
TO OTHERS
OTHERS WHO WERE NOT WORTHY

NOT WORTHY OF SUCH A GIFT
A RARE GEM
A BLACK OPAL FROM ETHOPIA
A BUGUNDY RED RUBY

GAVE IT AWAY...
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING?
WHAT WERE YOU THINKING KARIMA?
WHAT THE HELL WERE YOU THINKING?

NOT THINKING
NOT THINKING AT ALL
JUST GIVING
JUST GIVING IT AWAY

A RARE THING LIKE TIME
WHICH NEVER COME BACK
NEVER
GONE FOR EVER...

CAN'T CATCH IT
IT'S A BIRD
WHO HAS FLOWN AWAY
TO DIFFERENT

LANDS
MORE SYMPATHETIC TO IT'S SENSITIVITY
MORE AWARE OF IT'S VALUE
MORE KEEN TO EMBRACE IT

THE GIFT...
THE GIFT WHICH EVEN KINGS CAN'T
AFFORD TO JUST GIVE AWAY
AND YOU DID

YOU, KARIMA
YOU DID
YOU GAVE AWAY YOUR TIME
YOUR OST VALUABLE GEM

YOU DIDN'T GIVE IT AWAY
YOU THREW IT AWAY
HOW COULD YOU?
KARIMA...

HOW COULD YOU?
NOW YOU HAVE NO TIME
NO TIME TO PREPARE ...
FOR ANYTHING

IT JUST GONE
LOST
DROWNED
DISOWNED

NO, BY YOU
NOT DISOWNED BY THE OTHERS
BY YOU
KARIMA

BY YOU...
NOW YOU ARE SAD
ARE YOU?
YOU SHOULD BE

WHAT DO YOU HAVE NOW?
WTHE SKY
WHAT DO YOU WANT NOW?
WHAT WOULD YOU DO NOW?
DO YOU HAVE ENOUGH TIME TO DO ANYTHING NOW?

NO.  NOT ENOUGH TIME
NO TIME AT ALL
I THREW IT AWAY
IN THE DUST

I THREW IT AWAY
FAR ABOVE THE EARTH
AND IT FLEW
FLEW AWAY

LIKE THE BIRD
THE BIRD WITH WINGS
WINGS MADE IT FLY
FLY AWAY

NOW WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE?
WHEN THE TIME COMES TO GIVE?
WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE TODAY?
WHAT WOULD YOU GIVE AWAY TODAY KARIMA?

I ONLY HAVE ONE DAY TO GIVE
AND THAT DAY IS TOMORROW
TOMORROW I WILL GIVE
I PROMISE...

WHAT WILL YOU GIVE KARIMA?
WHAT WILL YOU GIVE TOMORROW?
WOULD YOU GIVE YOUR TIME?
WOULD YOU?

I ONLY HAVE ONE DAY TO GIVE
AND THAT DAY IS TOMORROW
TOMORROW I WILL GIVE
I PROMISE...

WHAT WILL YOU GIVE TOMORROW?
KARIMA, WHAT WILL YOU GIVE TOMORROW?
I DON'T KNOW...
I HAVE NOTHING LEFT...

I GAVE EVERYTHING AWAY...
GIVE  AWAY A LIT BIT OF YOUR TIME TOMORROW
OH! I CAN'T PROMISE THAT
IMPOSSIBLE...

TIME I DON'T HAVE
NOT EVEN A LITTLE BIT
THATS ALL GONE
GONE FOR EVER...

I GAVE IT AWAY YESTERDAY
WITHOUT THINKING...
I GAVE IT ALL AWAY...
ITS GONE...

NOW I HAVE ONLY ONE DAY TO GIVE
AND TODAY IS NOT THE DAY
TOMORROW I WILL GIVE
I PROMISE...

YOU ALWAYS KEPT YOUR PROMISE KARIMA
YOU ALWAYS DID...
BUT YOU HAVE NOTHING LEFT FOR TOMORROW
YOU WILL BREAK YOUR PROMISE

 TOMORROW...
TOMORROW YOU WILL BREAK YOUR PROMISE
FOR THE FIRST TIME
IN YOUR LIFE...

TOMORROW, KARIMA
TOMORROW, YOU WILL HAVE NOTHING TO GIVE
I DO.  I HAVE SOMETING TO GIVE TOMORROW
I PROMISE...

I WILL GIVE MY SADNESS AWAY
I WILL PART WITH MY SANESS TOMORROW
I  WILL THROW IT AWAY IN THE DUST...
I PROMISE.......................

DUST

DUST

LOST IN HER SADNESS
KARIMA STOPPED NOTICING PEOPLE AROUND HER
VERY SON SHE REMOVED HERSELF FROM THE VICINITY OF PEOPLE
NOW SHE WAS ALL ALONE BY HERSELF  ,OST OF THE TIME
HER SADNESS STAYED.

AROUND PEOPLE SHE FELT HER SMALLNESS
ACTUALLY SHE MADE HERSELF SMALL AROUND PEOPLE
BUT HER SENSE OF SMALLNESS STAYED
SOMETIME SHE WONDERED ABOUT HER SADNESS

MOST OF THE TIME SHE IGNORED IT
AND SOMETIMES, SHE ACKNOWLEDGED IT
BUT IT NEVER REALLY DISTURBED HER
IT BECAME HER CONSTANT COMPANION

THE SADNESS, I MEAN
WHEN SHE LOOKED IN THE MIRROR IN THE MORNING
THE MIRROR REMINDED HER OF HER SADNESS
THEN SHE STOPPED LOOKING AT THE MIRROR

SHE BROKE ALL MIRRORS IN HER HOUSE
WHEN SHE WAS A LITTLE GIRL SHE ADORED MIRRORS
SHE STOOD IN-FRONT OF THEM ALL DAY
LOOKING AT HER PETITE FIGURE

LOOKING AT HER DARK BROWN EYES
LOOKING AT HER FULL RIPE LIPS
ADMIRING HER JET BLACK VELVETY HAIR
ADMIRING HER OLIVE COMPLEXION

MORE OLIVE THAN REAL OLIVES
SHE LOVED OLIVES
SHE NIBBLED ON THEM
WHEN HER ADULT FAMILY MEMBERS DRANK MARTINI'S

SHE WOULD ASK FOR THE OLIVES AND HER ADULT RELATIVES
WOULD GIVE IT TO HER
WHEN SHE GREW UP SHE NEVER DRANK MARTINI
IT REMINDED HER OF HER DEAD RELATIVES

MAYBE HER SADNESS WAS BECAUSE OF THAT?
THE MISSING  MARTINI'S AND THE MISSING OLIVES
SHE COULD GO TO THE MARKET AND BUY SOME
BUT SHE LOST THE TASTE OF OLIVES

AND HER COMPLEXION WAS NOT OF OLIVE SHADE ANYMORE
IT WAS PALE AS THE PALE, VERY PALE LEMONADE
SHE USED TO DRINK LEMONADES WHEN SHE WAS YOUNG
BUT NOW IN THE WINTRY CITY

WHERE SHE LIVED, THE COLD LEMONADE WAS
TOO COLD FOR HER TO DRINK...
IT HURT HER TEETH
AND THE TASTE HAD ALREADY DISAPPEARED

SHE LIKED HOT DRINKS
BECAUSE SHE WAS ALWAYS COLD
THE COLD WEATHER MADE HER MORE SAD
AND IT WAS ALWAYS COLD

WHY DID SHE LIVE IN THE COLD COUNTRY?
BECAUSE SHE HAD NO OTHER PLACE TO GO
SHE HAD NO  HOME ANYWHERE ANY MORE
EXCEPT A SMALL ROOM WITHOUT MIRRORS

WITHOUT OLIVES
WITHOUT LEMONADE
WITHOUT THE WARMTH OF A COMPANION
BUT DID SHE WANT A COMPANION?

NO, NOT ANY MORE
FOR A WHILE SHE DID
SHE WANTED A RELATIVE OR A FRIEND NEARBY
BUT NOT ANY MORE...

SHE REMINDED HERSELF CONSTANTLY
THAT SHE WAS NOT ALONE
NEVER ALONE
SHE HAD SOME ONE

SOMEONE VERY DEAR TO HER
ALMOST AS DEAR AS HER DEAD RELATIVES
AS DEAR AS THE WARMTH OF THGE HOT SUN
AS EAR AS THE HOT COCO...

SHE WOULD TALK TO HER COMPANION
CONSTANTLY
DAY AND NIGHT
ALL NIGHT

AND HER COMPANION WOULD INSTANTLY SHOW UP
ACTUALLY WAS ALWAYS THERE BEHIND HER
HER SHADOW EVEN IN THE DARK
HER SADNESS WAS ALWAYS AROUND

TO REMIND HER
THAT THE SADNESS, SHE WAS SO LOST IN
WOULD NEVER ABANDON HER
NEVER....

NEVER TO DAY
NEVER TOMORROW
NEVER DURING THE DAY
NEVER DURING THE NIGHT

HOW FORTUNATE WAS KARIMA
SHE HAD THE BEST FRIEND
ANY ONE CAN EVER...HAVE
IN A CITY WHICH WAS SO LONELY

YES, THE CITY SHE LIVED IN
WAS VERY LONELY
ALL IT'S INHABITANTS
SEEM VERY LONELY

LONELY AND SAD
WAS TO BE WITH HUMAN WARMTH
THAT POSSIBLE?
YES,
BECAUSE EVERY ONE'S RELATIVES WERE DEAD

AND GONE FOR EVER
AND THHE CITY WAS COLD
COLD AS ICE
SLIPPERY...

IT WAS MORE OF A REASON
FOR PEOPLE OF THIS CITY
TO BE WITH OTHER SADNESSS
BUT THEY WERE AFRAID

AFRAID OF OTHER HUMANS
THEY DIDN'T WANT TO GET HURT
THEY HAVE BEEN HURT BEFORE
THEY DIN'T How are you?VE THE STRENGTH

TO BE HURT AGAIN
SO THEY REMAIN LOST
IN THEIR SADNESS
LIKE KARIMA...

THEY WOULD RATHER BE
LOST IN SADNESS
IT WAS MORE COMFORTING
THAN PEOPLE

THEY DIDN'T KNOW KARIMA
KARIMA DIDN'T KNOW THEM EITHER
BUT THEY UNDERSTOOD
EACH OTHER'S SADNESS

AND DECIDED TO NEVER GET RID OF IT
THAT WAS ACTUALLY A GOOD CHOICE
WHY GET RID OF ONLY THING YOU HAVE?
WHY NOT ENJOY IT?

WHY NOT EMBRACE IT?
WHY NOIT CHERISH IT?
THERE IS NOTHING WRONG
FOR THEM TO BE LOST IN THEIR SADNESS....

BY
BINA SHARIF
copyright:biasharif Dec, 2019

















SHE COULD

ANY TIME OF THE DAY

ANY TIME OF THE DAY

SHE WAS WHISPERING

SO AFRAID OF SOMETHING

SHE COULDN'T TALK

IN A LOW WHISPER SHE SAID,

"I AM BUSY."

AND SHE IS A FOREIGNER

FOREIGNERS DO NOT GET OFF THE PHONE SO FAST

BUT SHE IS NOW VERY AMERICANIZED.

SHE HAS AN AMERICAN LOVER

I LIKE AMERICANS

THEY ARE VERY DIRECT

UP-TO THE POINT

NO BULLSHIT

"CAN'T TALK.  VERY BUSY."  THEY SAY

THAT TAKES CARE OF IT

THAT TAKES CARE OF EVERYTHING

I NEED TO TAKE CARE OF THINGS TOO.

FAR TOO MANY THINGS NEED TO BE TAKEN CARE OF

BUT I CAN NEVER SAY SO ABRUPTLY,

"CAN'T TALK, SO BUSY."

BECAUSE I AM A FOREIGNER

I JUST THINK

I DON'T DO

I JUST THINK

I THINK TOO MUCH

TOO MUCH THINKING IS NOT GOOD

I THINK ALL THE TIME

BUT THINKING IS NOT PART OF BEING BUSY

DOING SOMETHING IS PART OF BEING BUSY

DOING SOMETHING IS,"BUSY"

"DO SOMETHING"

"WHAT"

"SOMETHING"

"I DON'T KNOW."

"WHAT IS THAT?"

"WHAT'S WHAT?"

"I DON'T KNOW."

"YES, I DON'T KNOW.  I DON'T KNOW ANYTHING."

"I WILL TELL YOU WHAT YOU SHOULD DO."

"TELL ME."

"DON'T THINK, DON'T TALK"

"DO WHAT THEN?"

"TEXT."

"TEXT?"

"YES, TEXT, BE MODERN.  YOU ARE IN NY.  YOU BEHAVE LIKE YOU ARE FROM

SOME REMOTE VILLAGE OF BANGLADESH"

"I AM NOT FROM BANGLADESH.  I AM FROM EAST VILLAGE."

"THEN BEHAVE LIKE ONE.  BEHAVE LIKE AN EAST VILLAGER.  YOU TALK LIKE YOU

ARE FROM TIMBUKTU. EVEN PEOPLE FROM TIMBUKTU ARE TEXTING. IT'S

PROGRESS. TECHNOLOGY IS PROGRESS."

"BUT IT'S TAKING HUMANITY BACKWARDS.  IF YOU DON'T WANT TO HEAR ANY

ONE'S VOICE WHY TEXT THEM AT ALL?  IF YOU DON'T WANT TO ANSWER THE PHONE

WHY IS IT IMPORTANT TO TEXT THEM? PEOPLE SO VERY PROUDLY SAY SAY, "OH1

NO- I NEVER ANSWER ANY ONE'S PHONE CALL.  IT'S AMAZING."

"ITS PROGRESS."

"IT'S MORAL DETERIORATION, SOCIAL DETERIORATION.  IT'S INDIFFERENCE

TOWARDS ALL THE SENSES.  INDIFFERENCE TO THE MELODIOUS SOUND OF HMAN

VOICE.  ALL SENSES ARE WASTED. TOUCH, SMELL, SOUND, TASTE, LANGUAGE,

CONVERSATION...ALL WASTED.  WE ARE IN A WASTELAND.

HUMAN BEINGS ARE NOT TALKING TO EACH OTHER.  THEY ARE NOT LISTENING

TO EACH OTHER.  THEY WOULD LOVE TO KILL EACH OTHER BUT ANSWERING THE

PHONE IS OUT.  THEY ARE ALL WIRED UP.  THEY DON'T HEAR ANY ONE, THEY DON'T

SEE ANYONE.  THEY ONLY SEE THE SCREEN OF THEIR TECHNOLOGY

CONGRATULATIONS TECHNOLOGY.  THE CIVILITY IS GONE, THE NEW HUMANITY

KILLED IT.  THEY ARE LIKE DEAD ZOMBIES WIRED UP AND WALKING AROUND ALL

ALONE AMONGST MILLIONS OF THEIR FELLOW MEN BUT ALL ALONE BY

THEMSELVES AND THEIR WIRES....AMAZING PROGRESS.  CONGRATULATIONS

TO THE ONES TEXTING, WALKING, NOT LISTENING, NOT TALKING, NOT FEELING,

NOT CONVERSING, ALL ALONE BY THEMSELVES...."

A VERY COLD AND DARK EVENING

A VERY COLD AND DARK EVENING

WHERE IS THE REST OF YOU, YOU A VERY COLD EVENING?

DID YOU JUST DISAPPEAR FROM SIGHT?

WHAT HAPPENED?

DID SOME ONE CHASED YOU AWAY?

WHO?

THE DARKNESS...

OH! THE DARKNESS CHASED YOU AWAY

HOW MEAN OF THAT DARKNESS

HOW DARE THE DARKNESS CHASED YOU AWAY

I THOUGHT OTHING ON THIS EARTH CAN EVER CHASE YOU AWAY

I THOUGHT YOU WERE THE LIGHT

YOU WERE THE SHINING LIGHT ON THE TOP OF THE HILL

TOP OF THAT HILL WHERE PEOPLE CLIMB ALL DAY TO FIND YOU

TO DELIGHT IN YOUR SHIMMERING LIGHT

TO DELIGHT IN YOUR SOOTHING BLUE LIGHT

TO FEEL ROMANTIC IN YOUR LIGHT, THE COLOR OF THE NILE...

TO FEEL YOU AE IN THOSE ANCIENT LANDS OF MONUMENTS, PYRAMIDS AND

PROPHETS...

WHERE HAVE THE PROPHETS GONE/

WHERE HAVE ALL THE PROPHETS OF THE WORLD GONE?

THERE IS SO MUCH DARKNESS WITHOUT THE PROPHETS

THERE IS SO MUCH DARKNESS WITHOUT YOU

I APPEAL TO THE PROPHETS TO COME BACK

WE MISS THEM

WE NEED THEIR WISDOM

THEIR DIGNITY

THEIR STRENGTH

THEIR SPIRITS

THEIR GENEROSITY

THEIR SENSE OF RIGHT AND WRONG

THEIR POETRY OF JUSTICE

THEIR SONG OF PEACE

WHERE DID THE PROPHETS GO?

CAN YOU COME BACK?

CAN YOU SHINE YOUR LIGHT ON THE PROPHETS SO WE CAN SEE THEM?

I KNOW THEY ARE SOME WHERE AT THE BOTTOM OF THE HILL, HIDDEN IN THE

DARKNESS...

CAN YOU COME BACK SO THAT THE PROPHETS WILL BE VISIBLE AND THE LAND

WILL HAVE SOME MEANING LIKE BEFORE?

CAN YOU SHINE ON OUR LIBRARIES SO WE CAN READ SOME WONDERFUL BOOKS

WE ARE SO MUCH IN THE DARKNESS THAT WE SEE NOTHING BUT LONG AND DARK

SHADOWS OF DARKNESS...

CAN YOU SHINE ON OUR EARTH SO WE CAN SEE THAT IT'S FERTILE?

CAN YOU COME BACK AND SHOW US THE WAY?

WE ARE LOST

WE HAVE LOST OUR WAY

WE CAN'T SEE ANYTHING

WE ARE BUMPING INTO EACH OTHER

WE ARE HURTING EACH OTHER BECAUSE WE ARE SO MUCH IN THE DARKNESS

WE ARE NOT AT FAULT BUT WE HAVE LOST OUR LIGHT

YOU WERE OUR LIGHT AND YOU ARE GONE

WHERE HAVE YOU GONE?

WHY HAVE YOU GONE?

WHY WON'T YOU COME BACK?

HAVE WE DONE SOMETHING WRONG TO OFFEND YOU?

HAVE WE DONE SOMETHING WRONG TO ANNOY YOU?

HAVE WE DONE SOMETHING TO DISAPPOINT YOU?

YES, WE HAVE

WE HAVE LOST OUR WAY

WE HAVE LOST OUR STRENGTH

WE HAVE LOST OUR SOPHISTICATION

WE HAVE LOST OUR MORALS

WE HAVE LOST OUR DIGNITY

YES, WE HAVE LOST EVERYTHING WHICH IS DEAR TO GOD

WE HAVE LOST OUR CHARACTER.

BECAUSE WE ARE IN THE DARK.

YOU HAVE GONE AWAY

WE OFFENDED YOU

WE HURT YOUR FEELINGS

YOU SHOWED US YOUR LIGHT AND WE CHOSE DARKNESS

PLEASE COME BACK

IT'S TOO DARK WITHOUT YOU

WERN'T YOU OUR MOON?

THE MOST GLAMOROUS OF ALL LIGHTS

THE MOST PRECIOUS OF ALL THE LIGHTS

PLEASE COME BACK AND LIGHT OUR MOUNTAIN SO WE CAN CLIMB UP

WITHOUT ANY FEAR...

WE NEED TO MOVETHE DARKNESS OF IGNORANCE

MOVE UPWARDS

MOVE FORWARD

AWAY FROM THE ETERNAL DARKNESS OF IGNORANCE

AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS OF EVIL

AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS OF CRUELTY

AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS OF VIOLENCE

AWAY FROM THE DARKNESS OF HATE...

PLEASE COME BACK...

COME BACK, THE BEAUTIFUL MOON

BRING BACK YOUR SOOTHING, COMFORTING BLUISH LIGHT...

THE EVENING IS DO DARK

EVERY EVENING IS SO DARK LATELY

SO DARK, SO, SO SO DARK WITHOUT YOU...