ON THE DAY OF THE READING. (Very important to be looked at and perform)

 ON THE DAY OF THE EADING

On the day of the reading on that Sunday,  April 8th

At performance space,  a few people complemented me.

This is what they said.

 " You are a slice of heaven."

"You are an incredible performer."

"You are amazing, "The artistic director of that space said.

Her name is Jeanny.

She told me that, "I was the highlight of the day."

Yes,  that's what she told me.

A lady who was a stranger to me stopped me in the street corner

And told me, 

" What a great actress you are." "You read so well,  I felt every word deeply."

Yes,  thats what she said.

That should make me less sad

But after an hour or so- I felt the wind of sadness

Creeping through my chest all the way to my heart.

That constant gnawing feeling comes back.

"Ok,  I have failed."

"Ok,  i failed in every which way..

Ok,  every one is a winner...but me

Ok,  every one won.

Ok,  everyone dealt with life successfully

Ok,  I didn't

Ok,  i didn't deal with life in the right way

Ok,  I failed and failed in every  which way,  in everything

Family,  people,  work,  neighbors,  money,  sensibility,  

Everything...

At least it should be settlled by now

That I have failed...

At least it's settlled now...

Or is it ?

No, not yet.

Amazing

Yes, amazing...it should have been setteled by now

I think it should have been, settlled by now that I have failed.

Is that ok?

Are you satisfied with the settellment? 

 Is that ok with you?

Are you satisfied with the settellment?

You wanted that

Didn't you?

You wanted to hear that you have failed

Now you have heard it...

There shouldn't be any more mention of that...

There is nothing more to be said

There is nothing more to be done

And one more thing

You will keep failing...

So,  now it should be all settlled

And it should never be brought up again

It's all explained

It's all expressed

It's all recorded.

No more talk of this....

Right?

Agreed?

Please...

Give your self a break

Give your failure a break honey

You have exhusted poor failure.

Failure appologise to you for failing you

"So sorry,  please accept my appology..."

The failure said, 

 "Forgive me once and for all."

"So i can go on a holiday afer such a grueling experiment."

"I didn't mean it.  I was just testing your endurance."

'You have endurance and consistency of your beliefs.

I give you that. You didn't fall apart...I have destroyed many to ruins.

You have succeeded in convincing me that you could go through it.

You have succeeded my dear,  you are a great success and it's me,

Your enemy the ,"Failure." is telling you. You are a great success"

Now let me go...I need a vaccation...by now...You should celebrate.

Maybe take a holiday yourself. 

 Go to a sunny place with a beach and swim...

Water and sun will confirm only success to you."

"Failure is not allowed to be in the sun or go swimming."  BS

'Shakespeare only asks three questions

1:  "Who are we?"

2:    "Why are we?"

3:    "What are we?"

         Glenda Jackson

"King Lear is entirely human

like other human beings.

Their interactions and their failures to interact

to understand each other."     Glenda Jackson

 "You can't shake off cruelty and folly." ???

"Have nervey detachment,  staccato." ????

KARIMA ULLAH

"I am very sad suddenly

I think  we will not meet again...

None of us...

Thats a sad thought indeed...

Circumstances at the moment seem hopeless.

Troublesome evidences...

One so detached

The other so distanced

The third,  not accessable..."  karima

"It's a tiredness

Which comes from very far,

That has accumulated...

And is made of all kinds of things...

Made of everything...

Sometimes it makes itself felt."  DURAS

"No depth of feelings.

They are not worth it.

Thats the bottom line..."  ?????