oh heavens

oh

DELIGHTFUL. NOTEBOOKS...

DELIGHTFUL

IT WAS A DELIGHTFUL SHOW
"FOREVER TANGO"

DANTE ALIGHIERIE'S DIVINE COMEDY...
DANTE'S IMAGINATION

PROFOUND UNDERSTANDING FOR LITERATURE...

"HELL"
"PURGOTORY"
"PARADISE"

I HAVE TO READ, DIVINE COMEDY ONCE AND FORALL...

I HAVE TO ALSO READ JOHN MILTON'S, "PARADISE LOST"

"OVID"

MAN'S BATTLE WITH THE TEMPTATION OF SATAN

"ART OF LOVE" DALI

SUBJECT MATTER'S STYLE

LOVE
SEDUCTION
INTRIGUE
CRIME
PUNISHMENT
ESCAPE
GUILTY
AND
NOT GUILTY

"ETCHINGS
LITHOGRAPHY
ENGRAVINGS

MONDAY...WORKSHOP
WEDNESDAY, WORKSHOP
TUESDAY, PHYSIOTHERAPY
WEDNESDAY..........
THURSDAY,............
FRIDAY, FRINGE
WEEKEND

BOOK FRINGE SHOWS, THE ONES KEVIN HASN'T BOOKED
DO THAT TODAY.

"SAMENESS OF THE SAME SAMENESS"  BS

INTENSE AND SOMETIME VIOLENT STRUGGLE EITH MENTAL ILLNESS?

WHO SAID THAT?
DON'T KNOW...

STROMY EXISTENCE?
OBSCURE?
DISTORTE?

"WEALTH OF LITTLE DETAIL? "
"EMACIATED EXPRESSIONS?"
"PUNISHING HOURS OF WORK ? "
"TOO LITTLE TO EAT EFFECTS THE NERVOUS SYSTEM. ? "

"EXACERBATED, THE CRUSHING AND INCURABLE
MENTAL ILLNESS.? "

"THREATENING SANITY ?"

"IGNORED AND REJECTED
DOUBLE PUNISHMENT
WHILE GOING THROUGH THE SACRIFICE OF PHYSICALLY AND MENTALLY ? "

REJECTION

THEY HAVE REJECTED YOU
THEY HAVE IGNORED YOU
WHY WOULD YOU PUNISH YOURSELF BECAUSE OF THAT?

A NORMAL PERSON WILL DOUBLY REWARD ONESELF
FOR OTHER PEOPLE'S BAD BEHAVIOR TOWARDS HIM
BUT A DISTURBED MENTAL SOUL WILL PUNISH HIMSELF
BECAUSE OTHERS PUNISHED HIM.
HE IS ANGY AT HIMSELF FOR BEING REJECTED

WHY MUST YOU ALLOW YOURSELF TO BE DOUBLY PUNISHED?

MEMORIES FROM OUR OWN PAST...

OMINOUS BLACK CROWS...
EMPTY YELLOW CHAIR...

"RELEASE FROM THE MISERY AND DEPRESSION INTO WHICH HE HAD STUMBLED. ? "
SHUNNED AND MOCKED ?

SUFFERING
GLOOM
UN-HAPPINESS ? "

SWERLING EXPLOSIONS
UN-NERVING COLORS...? "

"AGGRESSIVELY REJECTED." ?KUNJARS WERE ALWAYS THERE AND ARE STILL THERE. ? "

"WENT TO CONSIDERABLE TROUBLE TO EXPLAIN HIS THINKING." ?

"HE LONGED TO BE UNDERSTOOD AND APPRECIATED." ?

WHO IS THAT?

WHO?

THE ONE WHO LONGS TO BE UNDERSTOOD?

I GUESS IT'S ME

YOU?

YES

DO YOU FEEL YOU HAVE BEEN MISUBDERSTOOD?

DON'T YOU FEEL THE SAME WAY?

NO, WHY SHOULD I ?

ARN'T WE ALL MISUNDERSTOOD AND UNDERAPPRECIATED?

UNDER-APPRECIATED BY WHOM?

EVERYONE

WHO IS EVERYONE?

SOCIETY

SOCIETY?

YES, SOCIETY

SOCIETY IS SO BIG, SOCIETY IS THE WHOLE WORLD, YOU ARE WORRIED OF THE WHOLE WORLD?

NO, NOT THE WHOLE WORLD?

WHO THEN?

NOT EVERYONE, NOT THE WHOLE WORLD BUT SOME PEOPLE IN IT

WHICH PEOPLE?

YOUR LOVED ONE'S

YOUR LOVED ONE'S HAVE HURT YOU?

YOUR LOVED ONE'S HAVEN'T?

I DON'T HAVE ANY LOVED ONES...I DON'T FEEL HURT I DON'T FEEL MISUNDERSTOOD,

I DON'T FELL UNDER-APPRECIATED...I TOK CARE OF THAT...I HAVE NO LOVED ONE'S..

I LOVE NO ONE AND NO ONE LOVES ME.  BUT I DON'T NEED ANY ONE'S LOVE...

"I AM TOO MUCH" THEY USED TO SAY.  WHEN I HAD SOME PEOPLE I CARED FOR..

"YOU ARE TOO MUCH." THEY ALWAYS SAID

I MUST HAVE BEEN TOO MUCH SINCE THEY SAID IT SO OFTEN...

I NEVER KNEW WHAT THEY WANTED OUT OF ME...I GUESS THEY WANTED ME TO

OBEY THEM.  OBEY THEM, CATER TO THEM BECAUSE I TOLD THEM THAT I LOVED

THEM. BY LOVING THEM I SEEMED WEAKER SO THEY LAUGHED AT ME AND

EXPECTED ME TO OBEY THEIR WHIMS...

AND SINCE I DIDN'T KNOW HOW THEY WANTED ME TO BEHAVE,  I STOPPED VISITING

THEM AND STOPPED THE HUMILIATION AND I DECIDED WHEN I WILL KNOW THE

WAY HOW TO BEHAVE TO PLEASE THEM ONLY THEN I WILL VISIT THEM AND I

NEVER DID AND SINCE I STOPPED VISITING THEM I STOPPED FEELING UN-

APPRECIATED AS WELL.

I JUST STOPPED CARING. STOPPED LOVING...

THAT I WAS THE ONLY SOLUTION NOT TO BE MISUNDERSTOOD...STOPPED LOVING,

YES I STOPPED...

YES, I DID...

WHEN I WILL FIND A WAY OF BEHAVIOR APPROPRIATE FOR THEM I WILL GO VISIT

THEM....

CAN THEY HANDLE? NOTEBOOKS CONTINUE...

CAN THEY HANDLE?

THEY CAN HANDLE VULGARITY
THEY CAN HANDLE CRIMINALITY
THEY CAN HANDLE SUPERFICIALITY
THEY CAN HANDLE FLUFF

CAN THEY HANDLE BEAUTY?
CAN THEY HANDLE CLASS?
CAN THEY HANDLE DIGNITY?
CAN THEY HANDLE HONESTY?
CAN THEY HANDLE DIVERSITY?
CAN THEY HANDLE MORALITY?
CAN THEY HANDLE VALUES?
CAN THEY HANDLE THE TRUTH?

CAN THEY?
CAN THEY?
CAN THEY?

NO. THEY CAN'T...

OH! THE NOTEBOOKS...SO MANY...SO,SO ,SO MANY

NOTEBOOKS

HOLLOW IDEALS
MANGLED MORTALS
OUR CIRCUMSTANCES MUST CHANGE

"MARAT WE ARE POOR
AND POOR STAY POOR"

ARE YOU IN AMERICA?

END TO THE HELPLESSNESS
END TO VICTIMHOOD

END TO THE FEELING OF FAILURE
END TO THE FEELING OF POVERTY

END TO THE FEELING OF BEING NO GOOD

END TO THE FEELING OF ROAD BLOCKS
END TO THGE FEELING OF NEVER CHANGING HABITS

END TO THE SAMENESS OF THE SAME PROBLEMS
END TO THE NEVER ENDING FEELING OF NO HOPE

END TO THE NEVER CHANGING
TO MAKE IT BETTER

END TO THE FEELING OF OPPRESSION

END OF THE FEELING OF BEING ALONE
ALONE, HELPLESS, NEVER LOVED

NEVER GOOD ENOUGH FOR ANYTHING
NEVER SUCCESSFUL ENOUGH...

END OF THESE NEGATIVE ROAD BLOCKS
CREATED BY THE SELF AND OTHER ROAD BLOCKS

END OF THE FEELING THAT I AM A VERY BAD
IMMITATION OF SOMEBODY FAMOUS ARTIST'S DRAWING...

BINA'S NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

BINA'S NOTEBOOKS

NO THEATER
NO HANGING OUT
NO COMPANY
NO DESIRE FOR COMPANY

NO FD, (Have no idea what i meant)
NO CD.. same
FORGET IT
NO PS, NO, MS, NO MM, NO DD, NONE (initials but have no idea which people)

JUST HI, HI, SAY, HI, HI, NICE WEATHER AND GET AWAY
GET RID OF EVERY ONE FAST..
JUST WORK
DO YOUR WORK
PUT YOUR HAND WRITTEN NOTEBOOKS ON YOUR BLOG
PUT THEM ON SINGING BIRDS, YOUR BEAUTIFUL BLOG
YOUR WORDS ARE SONGS BEING SUNG BY BIRDS
WHAT DO YOU CARE ABOUT CD, FD, BB, SS, MM, NC...WHOEVER THEY ARE
NONE OF THEM WERE YOUR FRIENDS
IT WAS 2013 WHEN THIS NOTE BOOK WAS WRITTEN
AND NOW YOU DON'T EVEN REMEMBER WHO THEY WERE
FOR SURE THEY WERE NOT YOUR FRIENDS
THEY WERE JUST THERE TO DISTRACT YOU FROM YOUR WORK
THEY WERE AFRAID THAT YOU MIGHT GET AHEAD
BCAUSE YOU WERE ALWAYS SCRIBBLING IN YOUR NOTE BOOKS
THEY WERE WORRIED THAT YOU MIGHT BE WRITING A NOVEL
AND YOU WILL GET AHEAD OF THEM
THAT'S WHY THEY WERE DISTURBING YOU IN THE STREETS
AND YOU TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY
SND THAT WAS A MISTAKE
AND THAT BECAME YOUR PROBLEM
YOU TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY

THOUGH YOU MADE MANY NOTES IN YOUR NOTEBOOKS NOT TO TAKE THEM SERIOUSLY

I SEE THAT IN YOUR NOTE BOOKS
YOU REMINDED YOURSELF A LOT TO NOT LET THAM STOP YOU IN THE STREETS AND  SAY CONDESCENDING THINGS TO YOU
BUT ALAS! YOU TOOK THEM SERIOUSLY INSTEAD OF TAKING YOUR NOTE BOOKS
SERIOUSLY AND NOW YOU SEE YOUR MISTAKE AND SO MUCH TIME HA PASSED
AND SO MANY WORDS TO PUT IT ON THE BLOG...

NOTEBOOKS

EVERY WEEK ON SUNDAY
DO LAUNDRY
MOP
VACCUM
KEEP THE PLACE TIDY
DON'T LET IT GO SO FAR OFF
DON'T LET IT GET OUT OF CONTROL
GETS TOO DIFFICULT EVENTUALLY
GETS IMPOSSIBLE ACTUALLY

AREAS TO LOOK AT AND GET RID OF STUFF AND TIDY IT UPT
UNDER THE SINK
UNDER THE VANITY, THE TOP OF THE BIG TABLE
BEDROOM BOOK SHELF
LONGROOM BOOKSELF
TOP OF THE DRESSER
TOP OF THE DRESSING TABLE ARMOIR
CORNER OF BEDROOM
WRITING TABLE
SCRIPTS ON THE WRITING TABLE, SCRIPTS UNDER THE WRITING TABLE
SCRIPTS UNDER THE TABLE IN THE LIVING ROOM ALSO CALLED THE LONG ROOM
SCRIPTS ON THE LONG TABLE
SCRIPTS UNDER THE LONG TABLE
CLOTHES, RACK WITH CLOTHES
DRAWINGS

OH!SO MUCH WORK
WAS IT DONE?
DON'T ASK
AND THAT WAS IN 2013
NOW IT'S 2019
WAS IT DONE/
PLEASE...

NOTEBOOKS

THROW THINGS OUT
THROW OUT LOTS OF THINGS
CLOTHES
BOOKS
YES, BOOKS
TOO MANY BOOKS
AND STOP BUYING BOOKS
FOR HEAVEN'S SAKE STOP BUYING BOOKS
BUT I LOVE BOOKS
IT SEEMS LIKE YOU LOVE LOTS OF THINGS,
BOOKS
DRAWINGS
WRITING
DRWAING
PERFORMING
PLAYS
SEEING PLAYS
DOING PLAYS
GOING TO THE GALLERIES
GOING OR WALKS
GOING FOR COFFEE
TALKING TO PEOPLE, (a big mistake)
HOW COULD YOU DO IT ALL?Notebook continues

noe bok continues...

UNDER THE BIG TABL
BATHROOM CLOSEt

throw things out
throw everything out
throw out books, clothes, furniture, dishes, paper
bedsheets
THROW EVERYTHRK
CAN'T DO IT....ING OUT
CAN'T DO IT
CAN'T DO IT WITHOUT HELP
NEED HELP
CAN'T DO IT ALONE
NO HELP HERE
NO SUPPORT
CAN'T DO IT.............
SO MUCH WO

NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF, NO COUNTRY, NO POLITICS

NOTEBOOKS OF BINA SHARIF

NO COUNTRY...NO POLITICS CONTINUES

NEELAM

YOU CAN'T BE ASSOCIATED WITH ANY OF THOSE PEOPLE OR THEIR DEMANDS
YOU ARE ALONE..ALL ALONE BY YOURSELF...
RESPECT YOUR ALONENESS
YOU NEED TO RESPECT YOUR OWN DEMANDS
YOU NEED TO COMPLY TO YOUR OWN DEMANDS

YES.  YOU CAN DEMAND FROM YOUR SELF
YES. YOU CAN DEMAND FROM YOUR SELF
YOU OWN YOURSELF
FEEL YOUR DEMANDS
FEEL YOUR COMMANDS
FEEL YOUR FEELINGS
POWERFUL IS THE FEELING THAT BELONGS TO YOU AND TO YOUR POWERFULLNESS

NAJMA:

YOU ARE YOUR OWN COUNTRY
YOU ARE YOUR OWN RELIGION
YOU ARE YOUR OWN MOTHER
YOU ARE YOUR OWN SISTER
YOU ARE YOUR OWN AUNT
YOU ARE YOUR OWN RELIGION
YOU ARE YOUR OWN POLITICS
GO AHEAD, OWN YOURSELF
OWN YOUR COMPLETE SELF
YOU ARE THE SKY
YOU ARE THE OCEANS
YOU ARE THE RIVERS
YOU ARE THE MOON
YOU ARE THE SUN
YOU ARE THE RAIN
YOU ARE THE THUNDER
YOU ARE THE DESERT
YOU ARE THE FIRE
YOU ARE THE WATER
YOU ARE THE MUD
YOU ARE THE STEEL
YOU ARE THE CEMENT
YOU ARE THE MOUNTAIN
GO ON THE TOP OF THE MOUNTAIN
AND SCREAM...
YES, I AM...
YES, IAM...
YES, IAM...
YES, I AM...
YES, I AM...

notebook

NOTEBOOK

THE ALLERGIES AND DISEASES COME FROM FEELING HELPLESS
AND FEELING HELPLESS CREATES STRESS WHICH IS TOXIC
AND THAT TOXIC STRESS CAUSES AUTOIMMUNE DISEASES AND ALLERGIES.

GET OUT OF HELPLESSNESS
GET OUT OF IT
GET OUT OF IT TODAY
GET OUT OF IT RIGHT NOW
GET OUT OF IT THIS INSTANCE.
GET RID OF HELPLESSNESS
I DON'T KNOW HOW
BUT YOU MUST KNOW
YOU HAVE TO GET RID OF IT SOMEHOW

BB;

ME?
HOW WOULD I KNOW?
I AM NOT HELPLESS
I HAVE HELP
PEOPLE, IMPORTANT PEOPLE, VERY IMPORTANT PEOPLE HELP ME
SO HOW COULD i BE HELPLESS?
I SAID, "IMPORTANT PEOPLE LIKE CELEBRITIES, MOVIE STARS, PUBLISHERS
CRITICS, PRODUCERS, FUNDERS, FAMILY HELP ME
I AM NOT HELPLESS
YOU ARE
AND YOU HAVE TO FIGURE THIS SHIT OUT BY YOURSELF

A:BUT YOU ARE THE ONE WHO TOLD ME THAT I AM HELPLESS

BB: ARN'T YOU?

A: I DON'T KNOW

BB: THATS THE PROBLEM

A: WHAT'S THE PROBLEM?

BB: HELPLESS PEOPLE DON'T KNOW THAT THEY ARE HELPLESS

A:  OK, SO I DON'T KNOW AND NOW YOU HAVE TOLD ME, SO NOW I KNOW
BUT SINCE I NEVER KNEW, I DON'T KNOW HOW TO HELP MYSELF AND THE CRITIC, PRODUCER, FAMILY WHO HELPED YOU IS NOT PART OF MY LIFE...

BB: FAMILY IS NOT PART OF YOUR LIFE?

A: I MEAN, THEY ARE BUT THEY ARE FAR AWAY

BB: THEY CAN HELP YOU FROM FAR AWAY, FAR, FAR AWAY.  DON'T THEY HAVE
WHAT'S APP?

A: WHAT?

BB:WHAT'S APP STUPID

A: WHAT IS WHAT'S APP?

BB: YOU ARE STUPID...

A: YOU HAVE NO RIGHT TO CALL ME STUPID BUT I DON'T KNOW WHAT IS WHAT'S APP...

BB: THAT GIVES ME THE RIGHT TO CALL YOU STUPID.
ANY ONE WHO DOESN'T KNOW WHAT IS WHAT'S APP GIVES ME THE RIGHT TO LABEL THEM AS THE MOST STUPID PERSON ON THIS PLANET.  BY THE WAY, DO YOU KNOW
INSTAGRAM? TWEET? TEXTING? DOWNLOAD, UPLOAD, CUT AND PASTE, COREECT
SPELLINGS, IPHONES IPADS,HARD DRIVES, SOFT DRIVES, VERY SOFT DRIVES, EARPHONES,EARPLUGS, LET'S CHAT...DO YOU KNOW ANY OF THESE THINGS?

A: WHAT?

BB: WHAT? WHAT?

A: YOU JUST CONFUSED ME WITH ALL THOSE MACHINES.  I THOUGHT WE WERE HUMAN..

BB: EVEN THE DOGS KNOW ABOUT THE THINGS I JUST MENTIONED.  MY DOGGY,
MARILYN DOES MOST OF THE WORK FOR ME ON THE COMPUTER.  I DICTATE TO HER
AND SHE DOES IT.  DON'T TELL ME THAT YOU HAVE LESS INTELLIGENCE THAT MY DOGGY MARILYN?

A: DIDN'T YOU JUST TELL ME A WHILE AGO THAT I AM HELPLESS?

BB: YES, I DID BUT I AM SHOCKED THAT YOU ARE MORE HELPLESS THAN MY DOGGY MARILYN...

A: YOUR DOGGY IS MODERN...

BB: AND YOU?

A: (NO ANSWER)

BB: AND YOU?

A:ME?

BB: YES, YOU...

A:I DON'T KNOW...

BB: IS THIS YOUR FAVORITE WORD..."I DODN'T KNOW" I DON'T KNOW"

A: I DON'T KNOW...

BB: STOP REPEATING THAT NEGATIVE WORD. YOU ARE NOT ONLY HELPLESS,
YOU ARE ALSO NEGATIVE...

A: I GUESS SO...

BB: OH! NO, IT'S NOT A GUESS, I AM CERTAIN THAT YOU ARE A VERY NEGATIVE PERSON...

BB: IT SEEMS LIKE YOU KNOW ME BETTER THAN I KNOW MYSELF

BB: THE PROBLEM IS THAT YOU DON'T KNOW YOURSELF AT ALL

A: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT?

BB: KNOW WHAT?

A: HOW DO YOU KNOW THAT I DON'T KNOW MYSELF

BB: I CAN TELL, OH! MAN CAN I TELL...

A: HOW CAN YOU TELL?

BB: I CAN TELL ABOUT VILLAGE PEOPLE, THEY ARE ALL HELPLESS

A:WHICH VILLAGE PEOPLE?

BB: PEOPLE FROM THE VILLAGE

A: YOU MEAN ALL PEOPLE WHO LIVE IN THE EAST VILLAGE ARE HELPLESS

BB: YOU SEE, YOU KEEP PROVING TO MYSELF THAT YOU ARE STUPID...
I DON'T MEAN PEOPLE WHO LIVES IN THE EAST VILLAGE ARE STUPID
EAST VILLAGE PEOPLE ARE MULTI MILLIONAIRES AND MILLIONAIRS ARE NOT STUPID, OH! NO, NOT AT ALL, THEY ARE ALL GOING TO BE BILLIONAIRES NEXT MONTH
I MEANT THE PEOPLE WHO COME FROM ANCIENT VILLAGES WITH NO RUNNING WATER, NO ELECTRICITY, NO TOILETS, NO TECHNOLOGY ARE THE STUPID ONES

A: WHAT MAKES YOU THINK THAT I AM FROM THAT VILLAGE WITH NO TOILETS?

BB: I DON'T HAVE TO THINK, IT'S OBVIOUS

A: BY THE WAY, WHO ARE YOU? HOW DO I KNOW YOU?  WHERE DO YOU LIVE?

BB: I AM A NEW YORKER, A SMART,TECHNOLOGICALLY ADVANCED NEW YORKER
AND I JUST MET YOU IN THE STREET AND BY THE WAY I LIVE IN THE EAST VILLAGE AND MY PARENTS BOUGHT ME MY MULTIMILLION DOLLARS CONDO WITH SEVEN TOILETS....

BINA'S NOTEBOOKS

BINA'S NOTE BOOKS

"WAITED"

L:

I TAKE WHAT YOU SAY TO ME SERIOUSLY
YOU DON'T TAKE WHAT YOU SAY TO ME SERIOUSLY.
YOU JUST SAY IT...
YOU KNOW IT ALREADY THAT WHAT YOU ARE SAYING TO ME,
YOU ARE AT THE SAME TIME NOT TAKING IT SERIOUSLY
YOU ARE JUST SAYING IT FOR SAYING'S SAKE
YOU DON'T MEAN WHAT YOU SAY TO ME
YOU DON'T
NO, YOU DON'T.
BUT I DO.
I TAKE IT SERIOUSLY WHATEVER YOU SAY TO ME
I WAIT FOR YOUR CALL
I WAIT FOR YOU
BUT WHEN YOU SAY, "YOU WILL CALL ME"
YOU NEVER MEANT IT
WHEN YOU SAY,"I WILL SEE YOU SHORTLY"
YOU NEVER MEANT IT
YOU NEVER REALLY MEANT TO CALL ME
YOU NEVER MEANT TO GET TOGETHER
YOU JUST SAID IT EVERY TIME IN THE PAST
YOU JUST SAY IT
YPU HAVE THE HABIT TO JUST SAY IT.."CALL YOU LATER"
YOU DON'T CALL LATER, YOU JUST SAY IT..

YOU SAID IT MANY A TIMES
BUT YOU NEVER MEANT IT
BUT I ALWAYS THOUGHT
THAT PERHAPS YOU MEANT IT THIS TIME...
PERHAPS YOU MEANT IT THIS LAST TIME
WHEN YOU SAID THAT, "I WILL CALL YOU LATER"
WHEN YOU SAID, "WE WILL GET TOGETHER SOON"

BUT YOU NEVER MEANT IT...
AND I WAITED FOR YOUR CALL
AND I WAITED TO GET TOGETHER
AND I WAITED......

NOTEBOOKS

NOTEBOOKS

YOUR COUNTRY, YOUR POLITICS
                            BY

                     BINA SHARIF

copyright: binasharif 2019

NAJMA:

YOU ARE BY YOURSELF
YOU ARE ALONE
ALL ALON BY YOURSELF
YOU HAVE NO COUNTRY
YOU HAVE NO POLITICS
YOU HAVE NO RELIGION
YOU CAN FEEL WHATEVER YOU WANT TO FEEL

RANI:

YOU DON'T AHVE TO FEEL POWERLESS
YOU DON'T HAVE TO FEEL POOR
WHY?
WHY MUST YOU FEEL THAT PARTICULAR FEELING?
SINCE YOU HAVE NO COUNTRY
NO POLITICS
NO RELIGION
YOU CAN FEEL ANY FEELING THAT YOU WANT
YOU CAN FEEL POWERFUL
VERY POWERFUL
WHY NOT?

NAJMA:

YOU CAN FEEL RICH INSTED
YOU CAN EVEN FEEL SUCCESSFUL
VERY SUCCESSFUL
AND WHY NOT?

NEELAM:

THERE IS NO ONE WHO CARES HOW YOU FEEL
NO ONE CARES IF YOU FEEL OR DON'T FEEL
THERE IS NO COUNTRY
NO POLITICS
NO RELIGION
NO FAMILY
NO HOME

RANI:

YOU FEEL FREE
FREE AND POWERFUL
FREEDOM IS POWER
THE ONLY POWER
THE COMPLETE POWER
AND WITH THAT POWER
YOU CAN FEEL THE SKY
THE MOON
THESUN
THE AIR
THE EARTH

NEELAM:

YOU CAN FEEL WHAT OTHERS DON'T FEEL
YOU CAN FEEL WHAT OTHERS CAN'T FEEL
YOU CAN FEEL THE LIGHTNESS
LIGHTNESS OF THE LACK OF POSSESSIONS
LIGHTNESS OF HAVING NO COUNTRY
NO POLITICS
NO RELIGION
NO HOME
NO COUNTRY
YOU NO LONGER HAVE TO FEEL POWERLESS

NAJMA:
YOU CAN FEEL POWERFUL
VERY, VERY POWERFUL
WHO ARE YOU TRYING TO IMPRESS BY FEELING POOR?
BY FEELING NOTHING?
BY ALL MEANS FEEL SOMETHING
FEEL POWERFUL
THERE IS NOTHING MORE POWERFUL THAN POWER ITSELF
FEEL THE POWER
DON'T FEEL ABOUT THE POWERFUL

RANI:

THEY DON'T CARE HOW YOU FEEL
THEY DON'T CARE FOR YOUR FEELINGS
THEY DON'T CARE HOW YOU FEEL
THEY DON'T EVEN CARE IF YOU EXIST OR NOT
THEY DON'T CARE FOR YOU
THEY DON'T BOTHER ABOUT YOUR EXISTENCE
THEY DON'T CARE ABOUT YOUR FEELINGS

NEELAM:

SO WHY DO YOU TRY TO IMPRESS THEM?
TRY TO IMPRESS THEM B Y FEELING POWERLESS?
WHY DO YOU WANT TO OBEY THOSE WHO ARE UN-AWARE OF YOUR EXISTENCE?
WHY MUST YOU OBEY THEM WHO WANTS YOU TO BE IN THAT POSITION OF POWERLESSNESS WHICH PLEASES THEM?
WHY MUST YOU WANT TO PLEASE THEIR CHOICES THEY HAVE MADE ABOUT YOU?
YOUR UNKNOWN POWERLESSNESS TO YOURSELF MAKES THEM MORE POWERFUL
THEY HAVE TAKEN SO MUCH POWER ALREADY
THEY HAVE GRABBED SO MUCH POWER ALREADY
WHY MUST YOU WANT TO GIVE THEM MORE?

RANI:

WHY MUST YOU TRY TO SATISFY. JUSTIFY THEIR BEHAVIOR TOWARDS ALL THE MILLIONS THEY HAVE DECLARED POWERLESS ALREADY WITHOUT KNOWING THEIR NAMES, THEIR ORIGON, , THEIR POLITICS, THEIR AMBITION, THEIR DESIRES, THEIR DESTINY, THEIR BIRTH?

NAJMA:

WHY MUST YOU JUSTIFY THEIR SELF GRATIFICATION BY GRANTING THEM SATISFACTION ADMITTING THAT YOU ARE IN OBEYANCE OF THEM?
THEY ARE NOT YOUR MASTERS
YOUR PARENTS
YOUR UNCLES
YOUR AUNTS
YOUR FRIENDS
YOUR NEIGHBORS EVEN...
YOU HAVE NONE OF THOSE
NO COUNTRY
NO POLITICS
NO RELIGION
NO HOME

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

DON'T FORGET...

TOMORROW, JULY 30TH...

I MUST GO TO BLUE STOCKINGS TO READ...

THAT WAS IN 2013...

NO MORE READING PLACES ANY MORE...

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

MILLIONS ARE UN-PRAISED

MILLIONS ARE UN-REWARDED

MILLIONS....

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

I NEED TO DO SOMETHING ELSE WITH MY LIFE...

EVERY ONE BEHAVES AS IF THEY KNOW EVERYTHING ABOUT EVERYTHING

I NEED TO KNOW NOTHING

ABSOLUTELY NOTHING

NOTHING ABOUT NOTHING

"NOTHING WILL COME OF NOTHING."  SHAKESPEARE

THAT'S EXACTLY WHAT I NEED...

NOTHING...

I NEED NOTHING,,,

THAT SHOULD BE A GOOD CHANGE

CHANGE IN MY LIFE

NOTHING IS EVER SO CRUCIAL THAN YOUR PARENTS DEATH...YOUR LOVED ONE'S

DEATH...

AND CRUCIAL HAS ALREADY HAPPENED...

NOTHING ELSE MATTER...

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTE BOOKS OF

BINA SHARIF

THERE IS ONLY ONE BINA SHARIF

AND

SHE IS SO DISTURBED...

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES...

LACK OF ATTENTION FROM OTHERS MUST NEVER BOTHER ME...

I SHOULD BE LIKE SPINOZA, LIKE LINCOLN

SOPHOCLES AND GOETHE WOULD HAVE ALWAYS COMMANDED ATTENTION

WHILE THE  LACK OF IT WOULD NOT HAVE TROUBLED SPINOZA NOR

ABRAHIM LINCOLN...

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES...

IS THERE

THEN

NO FRIEND?

EXOTIC PLACES?

EXOTIC PLACES?

WHERE ARE THEY ?

LOOKING FOR ONE...
ANY IDEA?

SO TIRED OF THE SAME MUNDANE CRAP

SAME ROUTINE

SAME COMPLAINTS

SAME PLACES

SAME FACES

SAME, SAME, SAME SAME...

WHAT TO DO?

HOW TO CHANGE?

HOW TO EXCITE AN IMPULSE FOR THE EXOTIC?

IS EXOTIC POSITIVE?

HOW TO LOOK FOR POSITIVENESS?

TOWARDS HOPE...TOWARDS FULFILLMENT...

THERE IS UN-BELIEVABLE SAMENESS HERE

WHERE SHOULD I LOOK FOR EXOTIC PLACE?

DEEP INTO YOUR SELF DARLING

DEEP INTO YOURSELF

YOU ARE THE MOST EXOTIC SPACE I HAVE EVER ENCOUNTERED

LOOK DEEP INSIDE OF YOU AND FIND, SMELL, AND CHERISH YOUR OWN EXOTICNESS..

YOU ARE A COUNTRY ON TO YOURSELF

A MOUNTAIN

A RIVER

A DESERT

THE SUN

THE MOON

THE LILAC TREE

THE CHAMLI FLOWERS

THE SMELL OF JASMINE...

DAFFODILES

THE GREEN, GREEN GRASS OF THE VALLEY

THE WIND

THE RAIN

THE TORRENT

THE SUNSET

THE RIVERS

THE OCCEAN

THE BIRDS

THE BIRDS WHO SING

THE BULBUL OF NEW YORK

YOU ARE THE SINGING BULBUL OF NEW YORK

YOU ARE YOUR ON SINGING BIRD

SING AN EXOTIC SONG FOR YOURSELF

YOUR BIRD WILL LOVE TO SING TO YOU

SING FOR YOU

FORGET THE HARSHNESS OF THE WORLD

FORGET THE ANGER OF THE WORLD

FORGET THE MISERY OF THE WORLD

FORGET THE NASTINESS

RUN AWAY TO A PATCH OF GREEN GRASS FAR AWAY FROM EVERY ONE

AND SING...

SING THE EXOTIC MELODY OF EXOTIC PERFUMES OF ARABIA

DRENC YOURSELF WITH THE PERFUMES OF ARABIA...

DON'T YOU BELONG TO ARABIA?

HOW COULD YOU ASK FOR ANOTHER EXOTIC PLACE?

OH! THE ARABIA IS NO MORE?

DON'T SAY THAT

IT LIVES IN YOUR HEART

IT LIVES IN YOUR SPLEEN

YOUR SPLEEN IS OF ARABIAN HERITAGE

YOU CAN NEVER BE MUNDANE...

YOU CAN NEVER BE ORDINARY

IT'S . NOT IN YOUR BIRTH TO BE ORDINARY...

LOOK INSIDE OF YOUR SOULYOU ARE YOUR OWN EXOTIC 

IT'S SO COLORFUL

LIKE ALL YOUR SONGS

LIKE ALL THE COLORS OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL FABRICS

LIKE ALL THE COLORS OF YOUR BEAUTIFUL COLORFUL SCARVES

I HEARD THAT YOU HAVE THE MOST BEAUTIFUL SCARVES UNLIKE ANY OTHER..

YOUR EXOTICNESS IS IN YOUR COLORS.

YOU ARE YOUR OWN EXOTIC PLACE

STOP SEARCHING

YOUR SEARCH HAS ENDED

YOU HAVE FOUND YOUR EXOTICNESS

YOU ARE A WOMAN OF COLOR....

THERE IS NOTHING MORE EXOTIC THAN THAT....

ARTIST'S DILEMA

ARTIST'S DILEMA

LONELINESS IS A FAVORITE WORD OF AN ARTIST

HOW TO AVOID LONELINESS?

KEEP WORKING....

SAME SCENARIO..SAME STORY

SAME SCENARIO,,, SAME STORY

100 YEARS AGO IT WAS THE SAME SCENARIO..THE SAME PICTURE
THE SAME STORY

MIDDLE EAST
OTTOMAN EMPIRE
GREAT BRITTON
FRNAC
GERMANY
AMERICA

MANIPULATION
INTERFERENCE
OIL
OIL
OIL
DEMOCRACY
OCCUPATION

NOTHING CHANGES
BUT THE REPETITION OF IT ALL

SAME SCENARIO..SAME STORY
DIFFERENT SCENARIO.SAME STORY...

"WE HAVE APPROPRIATED TOO MANY MOSLEM COUNTRIES
FOR THEM TO HAVE ANY REAL TRUST IN OUR DISINTERESTEDNESS."  T.E. LAWRENCE

HARDSHIP

HARDSHIP

PLUCK
HARDSHIP
ADVENTURE

FIND NEW RESERVES OF ENDURANCE

THE OWNER

THE OWNER

I DON'T LIKE THE OWNER OF THIS CAFE

NO, I DON'T...

GREEDY
SERIOUS
UNSMILEY
ARROGENT
UN-FRIENDLY
DUTY BOUND TO MAKE BUCKS
MANY, MANY BUCKS
MANY, MANY BUCKS

PEOPLE WHO ARE NICE AND FRIENDLY DO NOT MAKE BUCKS
YOU HAVE TO BE ABITCH TO MAKE BUCKS
YOU HAVE TO BE A MONSTER TO MAKE BUCKS
HE IS A MONSTER
THIS OWNER
HE IS MAKING TONS OF BUCKS
I DON'T LIKE HIMNO. I DON'T LIKE HIM

I HAVE TO FIND ANOTHER CAFE WITH A FRIENDLY OWNER
AND THAT'S A FUCKING PROBLEM
EVERY DAY THATS A PROBLEM
EVERY FUCKING DAY ], IT'S A PROBLEM
EVERY FUCKING DAY...
ISN'T IT?

DOCTORS

DOCTORS

DON'T EEP LOOKING FOR DISEASES
WHATEVER COMES LIVE WITH IT
DON'T GO TO THE DOCTORS
FUCK THE DOCTORS
IF YOU GO TO THE DOCTORS
THEN YOU WILL HAVE TO LIVE WITH NOT ONE DISEASE
BUT MANY MORE DISEASES
THEY WILL GIVE YOU A MEDICINE
WHICH WILL CAUSE SIDE EFFECTS
AND THEN THEY WILL GIVE YOU NEW MEDICINE FOR THE DISEASE THE
FIRST MEDICINE CREATED
THEN THEY WILL GIVE YOU THE MEDICINE FOR THE 2ND DISEASE WHICH THE 2ND MEDICINE CREATED...
AND VERY SOON YOU WILL HAVE MANY DISEASES AND MANY MEDICINES
AND MANY MANY SIDE EFFECTS
AND THEN THE ALL THE DOCTORS AND ALL THE COMPANIES WILL KEEP ETTING RICHER AND RICHER
AND YOU WILL DIE
AND THE DOCTORS WILL SAY,
WE CURED HIS/HER INITIAL ILLNESS
OUR TREATMENT WAS SUCCESSFUL
AND THEY WILL DO THE SAME TO ALL OTHER  PATIENTS
SO JUST LEARN TO LIVE WITH YOUR FIRST ORIGINAL ILLNESS
AND FUCK THE DOCTORS.
JUST FUCK THEM

A THRILLER

A THRILLER

I WONDER WHAT WILL HAPPEN AT THE END?

I MEAN THERE ARE NOT SO MANY POSSIBILITIES ...

EITHER HE WILL BE CAUGHT AND PUT BEHIND BARS FOR LIFE
OR HE WILL JUST GIVE UP THE CRIME AND BE PART OF NORMAL SOCIETY

OR HE WILL STOP BEING A CRIMINAL AND WILL NEVER BE CAUGHT AND NEVER WILL BE PART OF SOCIETY AGAIN...

A SLAP ON THE FACE OF THE POLICE IF HE IS NEVER CAUGHT....

AND IF THEY CATCH HIM THEN THE SERIES WILL END AND THEY DON'T WANT THAT

SOTHEY WILL KEEP LOOKING FOR THE CRIMINAL AND KEEP HAVING MANY MORE EPISODES.  THEY DON'T WANT THE SERIES TO END TOO SOON.

THEY ARE MAKING TONS OF MONEY DAMN IT...
IF HE IS CAUGHT, THATS THE END.

SO HE IS NOT GOING TO BE CAUGHT FOR SOME TIME
BUT HE WILL BE CAUGHT EVENTUALLY OTHERWISE THE POLICE WILL LOOK SO BAD, SO, SO BAD...

THEY TRY TO TELL US THE REAL PROBLEM OF THE CRIMINAL MIND...

EITHER HE IS A PSYCHOPATH?
MENTALLY DISTURBED?
SERIAL KILLER?
CHILDHOOD TRAUN=MA...(BUT OF COURSE)
ENVY OF THE YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WOMEN?  (HE KILLS ONLY WOMEN)
BECAUSE HE DOESN'T GIVE A SHIT ABOUT HIS YOUNG PROFESSIONAL WIFE?
POVERTY COMPLEX? (WHO WOULDN'T HAVE IT WITH SO MANY BILLIONAIRES)
HE LOVES HIS CHILDREN THOUGH (GIVE ME A BREAK
HE COMMITS SUICIDE
THE END
POLICE IS HAPPY
THEY SOLVED THE MURDER
END OF SERIES

THEATER

THEATER

WHAT NOT TO DO IN THE THEATER

DON'T WEAR CLUNKY SHOES

DON'T DROP PROPS ON THE FLOOR

DON'T BUMP INTO THINGS

DIRECTORS;

DON'T HAVE SO MANY BLACKOUTS

DON'T MAKE THE ACTORS ENTER AND LEAVE, THEN ENTER AGAIN AND LEAVE AGAIN

DON'T SHOW SLIDES WHICH ARE NOT CLEAR

MAKE ACTORS AUDIBLE
DON'T USE CREAKY FURNITURE

PLAYWRIGHTS

HAVE SOME FIRE IN YOUR CHARACTERS

HAVE SOME HUMOR IN YOUR CHARACTERS

MAKE ME LISTEN TO YOUR CHARACTERS

MAKE THEM INTERESTING AND INTRIGUING

A CHANGE

A CHANGE

LITERARY AGENT

BUSH THEATER

BAC

ROYAL STRATFORD EAST

START BFROM THERE.

A CHANGE IN THE HOUSE

FOOD

SMOKED SALMON

CUCKEMBERS

EGGS

ARUGULA

TURNIPS

TUMERIC

BLACK PEPPER

CINNAMON

LIMES

MILK

OLIVE OIL

NUTS

STOVE

COMPUTER

WALK

BREAKFAST

OUT TO WORK

A CHANGE FOR READINGS

NOMADE;  WEDNESDAY  8PM

BAR ON ATTORNEY ST:  SUNDAY 4PM

BAR ON AVE A AND 2ND: TUESDAY 8PM

START WITH THIS

A CHANGE FOR KEEPING RECORD

A BIG NOTE BOOK

CONTACTS:  THEATER, READINGS, PEOPLE I MEET, TO FURTHER WHATEVER I HAVE.

START WITH THAT.....

NOTEBOOKS PART 4

NOTEBOOKS PART 4

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUES

NOTEBOOKS

NOTEBOOKS

B: YOU HATE RICH PEOPLE

A: I DON'T HATE RICH PEOPLE.

     I HATE PEOPLE WHO OWN
     I HATE THE WORD, "OWN"
     I HATE THE WORD, "OWNERE SHIP"

B: BECAUSE YOU ARE POOR
A: I AM NOT POOR
     I AM RICH.
     I AM VERY RICH
     I AM FREE...

B . N0 0NE IS FREE

A:  I AM FREE

      MONEY IS SLAVERY
      I HAVE NO MONEY
     
B:  MONEY IS THE FREEDOM
      LACK OF IT IS SLAVERY

A:  IT'S A MATTER OF OPINION
      THAT'S MY OPINION

B:  YOU ARE ENTITLED TO IT
      BUT LACK OF MONEY IS SLAVERY

A:  I SAY IT AGAIN, LACK OF MONEY IS FREEDOM
      MONEY I THE SLAVERY.
      TOO MUCH OF IT IS FOR SURE...

B:  ARE WE JEALOUS?

A:  OF WHAT?

B:  OF THE RICH

A:  I DON'T KOW ANY RICH PEOPLE

B:  YOU DON'T WANT TO KNOW BECAUSE IT MAKES YOU ANXIOUS

A: NO, KNOWING THEM MAKES ME ANXIOUS.
     THEY ARE CHEAP.  CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP.
     THEY ARE MEAN.  MEAN. MEAN. MEAN.
     MEAN, SELFISH, SELFISH ATTITUDY
     SELF IMPORTANT, FALSE SELF IMPORTANCE.
     ACTUALLY IT'S NOT THE QUESTION OF HATE OR ANYTHING,
     I JUST DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THEM.
     ACTUALLY I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR THEM
     I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR PEOPLE EITHER...
     IT'S ALL A MATTER OF TIME
     I DON'T HAVE TIME
     EVEN FOR MYSELF...
     I NEED TIME FOR MYSELF FIRST
     RICH AND POOR COME AFTER.
B:  0H! YOU ARE SO CYNICAL
A: I KNEW IT'S COMING

B: WHAT?
A: YOUR CRITICISM OF ME.  I KNEW IT'S COMING.
     YOU ALWAYS CRITICIZE ME AT THE END
     WHY DON'T YOU JUST LEAVE ME ALONE
    YOU NEVER WANT ME TO BE INDEPENDENT OF OTHER PEOPLE'S OPINIONS
     COULD YOU PLEASE LEAVE ME ALONE?
     JUST LEAVE ME THE HELL ALONE...
     WHAT AM I DOING WITH YOU ALL DAY LONG?
     ALWAYS ANSWERING YOUR QUESTIONS
     ALWAYS OPENING MYSELF FOR ALL KINDS OF CRITICISM
     LEAVE ME ALONE
     I DON'T HAVE TIME FOR YOU EITHER
     SEE THAT'S WHY I HATE PEOPLE
     RICH, POOR,MIDDLE CLASS, UPPER MIDDLE CLASS, UPPER, UPPER CLASS,
     ALL KINDS OF PEOPLE.
     I HATE FOREIGNERS
     I HATE NATIVES
     I HATE ETHNICS, BLACKS, WHITE, BLUE, GREEN,YELLOW, GOLDEN, BROWN,
     ALL COLORS.
     I HATE ALL COLORS
     I HATE PEOPLE OF ALL COLORS
     AND PEOPLE OF NO COLOR
     THAT'S THE WHITE ONES
      I HATE MY FRIENDS
      BUT I HAVE NO FRIENDS
      SO I HATE MY NEMIES
      I HAVE SO MANY ENEMIES
      IT OCCUPIES ALL MY TIME TO HATE ALL MY ENEMIES
      AND I HAVE SO MANY
      ALL I HAVE IS ENEMIES
      I HATE THEM
      SOME TIME I FEEL THAT I AM AN AMERICAN
      AMERICAN POLITICIANS ALWAYS USE THE WORD, "ENEMIES" A LOT
      MAYBE I AM AN AMERICAN POLITICIAN
      THEY AWAYS A=SAY, "OUR ENEMIES"
       THEY SAY, "OUR ENEMIES HATE US.  WE ARE GOING TO BOMB THEM...
       TO ELIMINATE THEM FOR EVER AND EVER"
       AMERICAN GOVTS HATE THEIR ENEMIES
       AND THEY ALWAYS HAVE ENEMIES
       LIKE ME
       I HATE MY ENEMIES
       SINCE I HAVE NO FRIENDS
       I HAVE TO HATE MY ENEMIES
       ANY ONE WHO DOESN'T HAVE FRIENDS, ALWAYS HAVE ENEMIES
       I HATE THEM.  I HATE EVERYONE.  I HAVE SO MUCH HATRED IN ME.
       BUT YOU KNOW WHO I HATE THE MOST?

B:   WHO?
A:   PEOPLE WHO STILL CALL THEM MY FRIENDS AND HAVE THE LICENSE
       TO CRITICIZE ME, LIKE YOU...
       OF ALL MY SO CALLED, REMAINING FRIENDS, I HATE YOU THE MOST
       I HATE YOU.
       I CAN NOT TELL YOU HOW MUCH I HATE YOU.
       YOU WANT ME TO BE SUBMISSIVE
      YOU WANT ME TO ALWAYS AGREE WITH YOU
      YOU WANT TO CONTROL MY EXPRESSION
      YOU DON'T WANT ME TO HAVE OPINIONS
      YOU WANT ME TO BE OBEDIENT
       YOU WANT ME TO BE SUBSERVIENT.
        AND YOU KNOW WHAT I HATE THE MOST?
        I HATE THE WORD, "SUBSERVIENT."
        OH! HOW MUCH I HATE THAT WORD.
       I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THAT WORD.
       ALWAYS...
       I HAVE ALWAYS HATED THE WORD, "SUBSERVIENT"
       AND YOU AND EVERY ONE ELSE WANT ME TO BE, "SUBSERVIENT"
       I HATE IT AND I HATE ALL OF YOU, ALL OF YOU, ALL OF YOU, ALL OF YOU...
             
       END
   


     


     

NOTEBOOKS

NOTEBOOKS

CAN'T SEEM TO CONCENTRATE

SOMEHOW CAN'T CONCENTRATE HERE

CAN'T CONCENTRATE ANYWHERE...

HE IS THE OWNER

HE HAS HIS iPHONE

THEY ALL HAVE 1PHONES THESE DAYS

YES, BUT HE IS THE OWNER HE LOOKS MEAN AND CRUEL,

CRUEL ENOUGH TO BE THE OWNER...

SOMEWHERE SAFER...WHERE?

SOMEWHERE SAFER...WHERE?"THOUGHTS ARE STORIES

WE ARE TELLING OURSELVES."  ?

"IDENTITY RESTS ON THE CONTINUITY PROVIDED BY MEMORY,

AND MEMORY DEPENDS TURNING EXPERIENCE INTO NARRATIVE." ?

"OUR UNDERSTANDING TAKES PLACE IN THE CONTEXT OF THE DARKNESS

THAT SURROUNDS AND ENCIRCLES ANY NARRATIVE." ?

"FASCIATION WITH UNCERTAINTY." ?

"INHERENT UNCERTAINTY AS WELL AS COPIOUSLY MANUFACTURED DOUBT." ?

"JUST AS HER SENTENCES HAVE A STAB AT TELLING THE TRUTH BUT OFTEN

LIKE MIGUEL'S MURDERERS HAVE TO STRIKE AGAIN AND AGAIN TO ACHIEVE

THEIR OBJECTIVE."

"PRECISION IS ELUSIVE SO IS LOVE." ?

"YOU HAVE TO CREATE SUBSTITUTES FOR THE PERSONS YOU LOVR...WHO ARE

NOT AROUND." BS

"YOU SHOULD IMAGINE AND DISPOSE OF THE PERSON YOU DON'T LIKE OR THE

PERSON WHO STANDS IN YOUR WAY OR YOU THINK THAT ...THAT PARTICULAR

PERSON STANDS IN YOUR WAY" BS

""YOU NEVER KNOW WHAT'S GOING TO HAPPEN THE NEXT MOMENT.

THE UN-PREDICTABILITY OF THE NEXT MOMENT IS AMAZINGLY SCARY." ?

"ONE MUST DESERVE THE PERFECT PERSON OR PERFECT EVENT OR PERFECT

SUCCESS OR PERFECT LIFE FROM AN IDEALIZING DISTANCE OR FROM A WISHFUL

THINKING DISTANCE." ?

"ENVY TURNING INTO BETRAYAL." ?

"PROSE ASPIRING TO THE CONDITION OF MUSIC, BRINGING BACK A THEME,

NOT IN A VAGUE OR ELUSIVE SENSE BUT IN EXACTLY IT'S ORIGINAL FORM." ?

"HORROR IS THE PREMISO." ?

"MURDER TURNS NARRATORS INTO DETECTIVES." ?

"NOVELISTS ARE ESSENTIALLY SPIES."

"LENIENCY AND DESPAIR, A HINDU DEITY." ?

"A SON OF A PHILOSOPHER DESIRE TO CLARIFY THE WAY WE THINK ABOUT

THINGS HE WANTS TO COMMUNICATE." ?

"A MENTALITY, NOT A STORY."

"TRYING TO IMPROVE OUR BODIES BY...

STARRING

STARVING

STUFFING

INJECTING

WAXING

STRAIGHTENING

PIERCING

LIFTING

SQUUEEZING." ?

"WE FEAR...

FRAGILITY

ILLNESS

SUFFERING." ?

"INTERSECTION OF SCIENCE AND CULTURE." ?

"WHAT DOES TELL US ABOUT THE MERGER OF

THE HUMAN HEART AND

MIND, IS "ART", EVEN LOW BROW ART." ?

NOTEBOOKS

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUED

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUED

NOTEBOOKS CONTINUED

WALK

WALK

"YOU"

HEY, "YOU"

"YOU, HAVE TO FORCE YOURSELF TO GO FOR A WALK FOR ONE HOUR AT LEAST

EVERY MORNING WHEN YOU WAKE UP.

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING EVERY MORNING...

NO MORE EXCUSES

NO MORE LAZINESS

NO MORE SELF DESTRUCTIVE TENDENCIES

THAT'S THE TREATMENT FOR YOUR AILMENT

AILMENTS OF ALL KINDS

MENTAL,

PHYSICAL

EMOTIONAL

FINNANCIAL

HAPPINESS

UNAPPINESS

LONELINESS

ISOLATION

LACK OF FINANCE

LACK OF REAL FRIENDSHIP HERE

LACK OF FAMILY

ANYTHING AND EVERYTHING

THE TREATMENT OF THE AILMENTS IS WALK...

WALK EVERY MORNING EVERY DAY EXCEPT RAIN AND SNOW

AND THEN BE MISERABLE FOR THE RESTOF THE DAY

YOU ARE NOT ALLOWED TO BE MISERABLE UNLESS YOU WALK IN THE MORNING

FIRST THING IN THE MORNING, EVERY MORNING

NOW THE DOCUMENT IS SIGNED AND PUBLISHED

YOU CAN'T GO BACK ON IT

YOU WILL BE PUNISHED

EVEN PUT IN PRISON

CAN'T GO BACK ON YOUR WORD

IT'S SIGNED, AND PUBLISHED...

THIS DOCUMENT IS THE WITNESS OF YOUR DEED

THE DEED WHICH HAS TO BE DONE EVERY MORNING

WALK....SWEETHEART WALK.

YOU HAVE NO OTHER CHOICE GIVEN TO YOU BY THE AGREEMENT...

WALK IS TE PUNISHMENT IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT WAY

WALK IS THE REWARD IF YOU WANT TO CALL IT THAT WY

BUT, "WALK"  IT IS...

NOTEBOKS

NOTEBOOKS

THE FOOD DIDN'T SUIT MY STOMACH

THREW UP

THREW UP AGAIN

AND AGAIN

FELT AWFUL ALL NIGHT

FELT AWFUL ALL DAY

USUALLY I FEEL AWFU MOST OF THE TIME ANYWAY

BUT I DON'T THROW UP....

I FEEL AWFUL PSYCHOLOGICALLY ALL THE TIME BUT I DON'T THROW UP...

I ONLY THROW UP WHEN I EAT BAD FOOD

STALE FOOD, OLD FOOD, ROTTEN FOOD IN A RESTAURANT, NOT PROPERLY COOKED

UNCOOKED MEAT, SHELL FISH, ROTTEN TOMATOES,BAD SPICES, VINEGAR, FROZEN

FOOD, CAN FOOD,  FROZEN THEN UNFROZEN, HEATED AND HEATED AGAIN, FROZEN.

LEFT OVERS SITTING IN THE FRIDGE, THEN HEATED AGAIN, THEN BACK IN THE

FRIDGE.

ROTTEN CHEESE

ROTTEN SOUR CREAM

ROTTEN CREAM CHEESE

CHESP WINE FROM A BAR

CHEAP, CHEAP, CHEAP WINE FROM THE BOTTOM OF THE BOTTLE...

AMAZING!

ALL THESE FOODS MAKE ME THROW UP

I THROW UP THE OMENT THE BAD FOOD GOES INSIDE MY MOUTH

BUT I NEVER THROW UP WHEN I MEET ROTTEN PEOPLE

WHEN I WORK WITH THEM

WHE THRY MAKE RACIS'TS REMARKS

I KEEP SMILING

OTHERWISE THERE WILL BE A BIG FIGHT

I CAN MAKE RACIS'T'S REMARKS MYSELF

LET'S FACE IT...

ALL HUMAN BEINGS ARE RACIST'S ONE WAY OR THE OTHER

DANNY DEVITO, THE ACTOR FROM TAXI SAID THAT

HE SAID, "WE ARE ALL RACISTS"

I AGREE WITH HIM

WE KEEP QUIET BUT THINK IT

WE THINK RACISM WITHOUT SHOUTING IT OUT TO BE POLITE OR T B NON RACISTS.

I NEVER THROW UP WHEN PEOPLE  DON'T PAY NE FOR MY EFFORTS

I DON'T THROW UP WHEN TERE IS INJUSTICE TOWARDS ME AND MY RACE

I NEVER THROW UP WHEN PEOPLE BEHAVE UGLY WITH ME...

I WISH I DID

THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER AFTERWARDS

ALL THE CRAP WILL BE OUT OF MY SYSTEM

THEN I WILL FEEL BETTER

TILL I EAT BAD FOOD AGAIN

I WISH I COULD THROW UP WHEN I AM UNHAPPY WITH THE WORLD

THEN I WILL HAVE TO THROW UP CONSTANTLY EVERYWHERE...

CAN YOU IMAGINE?

JUST IMAGINE...

WHAT A MESS! WHAT A RELIEF!

WHAT A MESS! WHAT A RELIEF

I THOUGHT I LOST EVERYTHING

I AM SO TERRIFIED OF LOSING

A BUNCH OF WRITING

A LOVED ONE

MY MONEY

MY LOVED ONES

MY PASSWORDS

MY WAY

I LOST MY WAY THOUGH

A COUPLE OF TIMES

MANY, MANY TIMES

IT'S AMAZING!

HOW LONELINESS HAS BECOME COMFORTABLE

NO, IT'S A LIE

IT'S NOT COMFORTABLE AT ALL

IT'S BECOME A NECESSITY

THERE IS NO ONE AROUND

THAT'S A LIE TOO

PEOPLE ARE AROUND

MANY PEOPLE ARE AROUND

IT'S A CITY OF MILLIONS OF PEOPLE

THEY ARE AROUND

PEOPLE ARE EVERYWHERE

SBWAYS

BANKS

MUSEUMS

CONCERTS

THEATERS

PARKS

RESTAURANTS

CAFE'S

HOSPITALS

EMERGENCY ROOMS

BUSES FULL OF PEOPLE

PEOPLE, PEOPLE, PEOPLE EVERYWHERE

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

NO ONE IS AROUND...

WHAT DO YOU MEAN?

I MEAN PEOPLE...

WHICH PEOPLE?

PEOPLE I CAN SPEAK WITH

THEN GO, SPEAK WITH PEOPLE

I DO.  I TRY

AND?

AND NOTHING

WHAT DO YOU MEAN NOTHING?

I MEAN, I TALK TO PEOPLE

I TRY

AND?

AND THEN NOTHING

WHAT DO YOU MEAN WHEN YOU SAY, NOTHING?

THEY ARE ALWAYS SURPRISED

WHY?

THEY ARE NOT USED TO PEOPLE SPEAKING WITH THEM

WHY?

I DON'T KNOW

SO?

SO WHAT?

YOU TRY...

YES, I DO

AND TTHEN?

THEY DON'T RESPOND

TALK TO OTHER PEOPLE

WHICH OTHER PEOPLE?

YOU SAID, THERE ARE MILLIONS OF PEOPLE AROUND

YES, I SAID THAT

SO TALK TO OTHERS

WHICH OTHERS?

PICK A FEW MORW PEOPLE AND TALK TO THEM

I TRIED

AND/?

NOTHING

DON'T USES THIS WORD SO OFTEN

WHICH WORD

NOTHING

BUT IT'S THE TRUTH

DON'T TELL THE TRUTH

DON'T TELL THE TRUTH?

NO, DON'T

WHAT ELSE IS THERE TO TELL

TALK ABOUT SIMPLE THINGS

WHAT SIMPLE THINGS

LIKE WEATHER,  FACE BOOK, TRUMP, IMPEACHMENT

THAT KIND OF TALK IS LESS VALUABLE THAN SAYING NOTHING

YOU ARE IN LOVE WITH THE WORD NOTHING

THAT IS DANGEROUS

"NOTHING WILL COME OF NOTHING"

WHO SAID THAT?

SHAKESPEARE

WHO IS SHAKESPEARE

HE SELLS KEBOBS ON ASTOR PLACE

OH! IS HE NEAR THE N OR R OR W SUBWAY?

YES, VERY CLOSE TO THE SUBWAY

OH! I TAKE THE R TRAIN A LOT

BEFORE I STRUGGLE WITHE STAIRS OF THE SUBWAY

I WILL LOOK FOR HIM...

YES, DO THAT.  HE WILL BE A SOURCE OF COMFORT

OH! REALLY?

YES, EALLY.  HE IS A GREAT GUY

TEN WHY DID HE UTTERED THIS SENTENCE?

WHICH SENTENCE?

"NOTHING WILL COME OF NOTHING"

TO HELP PEOPLE LIKE YOU

HOW?

SOMETIME A NEGATIVE WORD HAS TO BE USED TO MAKE PEOPLE AWARE OF

HOW NEGATIVE CAN HAVE A SORRYFUL INFLUENCE ON YOU...

HW DID HE KNOW?

BECAUSE HE WAS A MASTER OF WORDS, A MASTER OF LANGUAGE

I THOUGHT YOU SAID HE MAKES KEBOBS?

YES, HE DOES BOTH.  HE FEEDS EVERYONE'S HUNGER WITH KEBOBS AND HIS

WORDS...

THATS AMAZING

ISN'T IT?

WHERE IS HE FROM?

FROM FOREIGN LANDS

OH! MY GOODNESS.  THAT'S EXACTLY I WAS MISSING HERE.

AMONGST MILLIONS OF PEOPLE I HAD NO ONE TO TALK TO AND NOW I HAVE A

CHANCE TO MEET A PERSON FROM FOREIGN LAND, MY LAND...

HE IS FROM FOREIGN LAND BUT NOT FROM YOUR LAND

HE MAKES KEBOBS, HE MUST BE FROM SOMEWHERE NEAR BY...

YES, IF YOU REALLY LOOK FOR HIM YOU WILL KNOW THAT HE IS NEAR BY

I CAN'T BELIEVE IT.  SHAKESPEARE IS NEAR BY AND I HAVE BEEN SEARCHING FOR

PEOPLE WHO NEVER SPOKE MY LANGUAGE...

I LOVE THE WORD NOTHING AND SHAKESPEARE USED THE SAME WORD

TO START A BEAUTIFULLY SAD SENTENCE, "NOTHING WILL COME OF NOTHING"

YES, HE DID...

NOW I WON'T BE AFRIAD OF USING THAT WORD, "NOTHING"

DON'T BE AFRAID OF WORDS.  THEY CHANGE YOUR LIFE FOR EVER...

DID SHAKESPEARE ALSO USED THE WORD, "LONELINESS" AS WELL?

I AM NOT SURE, I HAVE TO THINK ABOUT IT BUT YOU ARE GOING TO MEET

SHAKESPEARE TODAY RIGHT?

YES, I CAN'T WAIT...

ASK HIM IF HE IS ALSO IN TO WORDS SUCH AS, "LONELINESS"

I WILL, YES, I WILL, AND IF HE DOES, THEN I AM IN BUSINESS...

OH! YOU ARE STARTING A BUSINESS NOW?

YES, BUSINESS OF WORDS, WORDS, WORDS...SHAKESPEARE IS GOING TO HELP ME...

I AM NOT GOING TO BE TERRIFIED OF CERTAIN WORDS FROM NOW ON..

GOOD FOR YOU

THANK YOU FOR YOUR HELP.  I REALLY APPRECIATE.  I WISH I MET YOU SOONER

AND YOU TOLD ME ABOUT SHAKESPEARE, THE KEBOB SELLER...

IF YOU GET INTO SHAKESPEARE  I BET YOU, YOU WILL NEVER SEEK PEOPLE, PEOPLE

OF ANY KIND.  NEITHER WILL YOU LOOK FOR OTHER THINGS, UN-NECESSARY

THINGS.  HE WILL HELP YOU WITH EVERYTHING YOU EVER WANTED TO KNOW.

EVERYTHING WHICH SOOTHS YOUR SOUL, EVERYTHING WHICH WILL MAKE YOU

HAPPY, SAD, LAUGH, CRY, THINK, TRAVELS TO DIFFERENT LANDS, HE WILL TEACH

YOU ABOUT THE BIRDS, THE SEASONS, THE KINGDOMS, REGRETS, REVENGE,

HISTORY, POWER,AMBITION,MURDER,GARDENS, DREAMS, SONGS....

IMAGINE, JUST IMAGINE... AND HE IS FROM SOMEWHERE NEAR MY LAND

DIDN'T YOU SAY HE IS A FOREGNER AND HE MAKES KEBOBS?

YES, I DID...

THEN HE IS ONE OF MY PEOPLE..PEOPLE FROM MY FOREIGN LAND...PEOPLE I HAVE

BEEN MISSING...

THANK YOU.  I WOULDN'T HAVE ASKED FOR MORE...HOW CAN YOU?

AFTER FINDING  SHAESPEARE WHO NEEDS ANY ONE ELSE...

OH! HOW I WISHED I MET YOU EARLIER...

I WASTED SO MANY YEARS OF MY LIFE LOOKING FOR SOMETHING

FOR YEARS I LIVED WITHE FEAR THAT I LOST SOMETHING...

YES, ALWAYS AFRAID THAT I LOST SOMETHING OR I WILL LOSE SOMETHING

MY WOORDS, MY LOVE, MY AFFECTION, MY TRUTH, MY TIME, MY LOVE

AND LOOKED AROUND AMONGST WRONG PEOPLE AND TRIVIAL PURSUITS

WHILE SHESPEARE WS JUST AROUND THE CORNER, JUST AROUND THE CORNER

WAITING TO COMFORT ME.....