"COMEDY OF LOVE"

A

ONE ACT PLAY

BY

BINA SHARIF

Copyright:b Bina Sharif 2011

SHELLY: There is no real person

SUSAN: All are there just to fill time

AMY: Once in a while, they are ok,

but there is nothing fascinating about them.

ELLEN: You have the same qualities like them.

Nothing is missing in you. You are the same.

SHELLY: Same clothes, same food, same conversation,

same discussions, same arguments, debates,

nothing new, nothing original, all the same.

We are all the same.........just to fill in the time...time

running ahead of us..................

AMY: There is nothing original anywhere. I have been all

over the world. Same cafe's, same conversations. Just

to fill the time, once a week, or once a month, or once a day,

to get together and talk bad of other people, of other friends,

behind their back and then call them and tell them, "I love you."

That must be the most over rated sentence in the whole English language.

"I love you" What does that mean? Do we love every body? Do we

love any body? Why do we say it? Is it just there to be said? "LOVE"

is such a unique word and is being used so casually. Why do we say it?

we all say it right?

SUSAN: I don't say it till I mean it..........

ELLEN: You said it to me yesterday.

SUSAN: But I didn't say it to Amy...........

ELLEN: So you love me more than you love Amy?

SUSAN: I didn't say that

ELLEN: But that's what it means. I am flattered but thats what it means to me.

What it seems to mean is that you don't love Amy........

SUSAN: You are trying to create trouble between me and Amy.

SHELLY: But trouble is better than fake love

AMY: Most love is fake..............

ELLEN: Oh! We are getting bitter now.

AMY: And should I always smell roses?

SUSAN: (laughs) You can also smell Jasmine, ha, ha, ha

AMY: Is something funny here? Did I miss something?

ELLEN: Are you alright Amy? You sound cynical.............

AMY: With you around, who should I be kissing and hugging beside you?

ELLEN: Oh! We are upset today

AMY: And we will be upset next week also, if we decide to come.........

SUSAN: Since when have you started to call yourself,"WE"

AMY: Since this weekly meeting of,"LOVE" Its becoming

like comedy of love to me.............

ELLEN: Thats why we get together, week after week to have

some love and some comedy in our lives and you always

try to turn it into some agenda, some grievance, some kind

of bitter meeting of anonymous abusers..............

AMY: Oh! now I am an abuser and an anonymous one....I am here,

very much here to deal with you and your obnoxious behavior

week after week..........What the hell for?

SHELLY: For the sake of love darling, for the sake of love. "I love you"

We all love you. That's what this meeting is for. For ,"LOVE"

Which we don't get at home by our husbands and boy friends and lovers,

and ex husbands, and ex lovers ect ect..............

AMY: That sounds like a feminist meeting. All liberated feminist women

who hate men and are married to them at the same time and ............

ELLEN: But you are not married, you, I am sure don't hate men,

You must not love them either, neither love, nor hatred, just being neutral,

very liberated, progressive, free thinking woman. I always thought

you were a lesbian. Are you a lesbian? Are you?

SUSAN: (to Ellen) Now you are going too far................

ELLEN: I am not going far enough. Its a hidden fact. She is a lesbian and thats that.

SHELLY: (to Ellen) Are you a homophobe?

ELLEN: (to Shelly) No, you are. You are a homophobe and a hypocrite as well.

How many times have you discussed Ellen's sexuality with me in her absence

and how both of us have always believed that she is a lesbian. A full fledged

lesbian.

AMY: Better to be a full fledged lesbian out in the open than being in closets with

your spiked heels.

SHELLY: If you are a lesbian which only Ellen seems to think and is

just adding my name to her unhappy list, then you are also

in the closet with your ugly sneakers. You have never blodly

declared to us in any of our meetings that you are a lesbian and you are proud.

Most of the lesbian say that. "We are lesbians and we are proud."

I have never heard you say that you are proud. Straight or gay,

you are not proud. And thats the worst. I like lesbians and their gay pride.

Straight people are never proud. They are actually ashamed. They are

always saying that they are ashamed of themselves. They don't have kids, they are

ashamed. They don't have high powered careers, they are ashamed. They can't

travel, they are ashamed, Their house is a mess, they are ashamed.

Gay people are always proud and straight people are always ashamed.

Thats my observation of people so far. And since I am mostly ashamed

of my self, I must be straight and Amy never ever says that she is ashamed

of her self and her life, she must be gay. I am not a homophobe, I have

explanation of things. I have logic and reasoning in me which determines

my boredom in life which is another test that I am straight. Straight people

are always bored and they say so. 'I AM SO BORED." "I AM SO BORED,

I CAN KILL SOME ONE." And thats so true. Killing must be exciting

otherwise why there are so many killings? And killing children and women

must be the most exciting otherwise why people will kill school children?

When one reads these news they always say," The killer was very bored

with his life. He had no job, no fun in his life." I mean I am no killer but when

I read these kind of news I feel a flutter in my heart and I am sure its of fear

and terror but its still better than my boredom which raises not a speck of

stimulus in me. I go for shock therapy just to get a thrill though I am not

mentally disturbed. I am just a rich, well kept, well groomed, fancy house

wife who throws parties for my husband so he can get all the votes for his

next election. Its called,"NETWORKING" And I am the net with truffles on

the menu for parties to catch the votes. Its all about votes. Winning is votes.

And I get the votes. If I was a lesbian with a straight politician of a husband

he wouldn't get the votes and then I won't be able to have fancy hair cuts.

But if I was a lesbian I won't need a fancy hair cut. Just go to a barber and

get a butch hair style and be proud.

Fuck man, I want to be proud. My husband when he wins because of me is proud

but not me. I need to be proud like Amy. Amy tell me how to be proud?

AMY: To get away from people like you will be the start.

But before I get away from all of you once and for all, from

this fake comedy of love, let me give you a piece of advice.

Tell your politician husband to stop being so bored like all

of you are and tell him to stop killing in the name of peace.

Tell him to get excited in another way. Tell him to get rid of his impotence

by murdering lives in the name of, "DEMOCRACY and special interests.

Tell him that his impotent life and his impotent body is not going to be rejuvenated

by the blood of all the children and women and old men's blood.

Tell him that those innocent people's blood has no intention to give life to

a killer. Tell him that bombs will bring his and our ultimate destruction.

Instead of preparing a menu and flowers for his parties so he can get the

permission to kill ,"OUR SO CALLED ENEMIES" so he can save you and me safe...

tell him to make love with once in a while so you can be safe in the safety of love

and not war. Tell him that you are not happy. Tell him that none of your

girl friends with designer clothes and face lifts are happy. Tell him that

the phony sentences such as,"I LOVE YOU" are not helping any longer.

Tell him that the whole nation is bored, unemployed, unsatisfied, miserable,

full of hatred even for their so called, "BEST FRIENDS" Tell him that after spending

$300 for lunch you are still not happy and neither are your miserable girl

friends. Tell him that we go for yoga, for face lifts, for massages, for dinners,

for opera, for theater, for museums, tell him after all that culture we are

still bored.....Ask him why?

Ask him why the young, the old, the children are all so angry?

Ask him why all of you hate your baby sitters/

Ask him why all of you hate your Mexican cooks?

Ask your powerful politician husband why with all the wealth and power

we are ashamed?

We are ashamed and miserable because we have blood of the innocent on

hands in the name of Democracy and Human rights and women rights.

We kill people all over the world in the name of these phony slogans.

We kill people all over the planet for our special interests. We created

enemies all over the world whose children and parents and wives and husbands

we killed for our resources, for our interests so you can be rich and powerful

and miserable and bored and unhappy under all circumstances. No steak, no

truffles, no heels, no spas are going to make you happy if you don't stop your

politician husbands to kill the children of poor people all over the world.

God has also given the poor people of the world power. A different kind of power

but power nevertheless. Its the power in their curse which is upon us.

Look at our country. The most powerful country on this planet with

people carrying guns to protect themselves. To protect themselves from what?

Why are we so terrified? Why are we so afraid of those poor, poor people?

People who no power, no food, no transportation, just a few children and old

parents who scare us to death because they are our new enemies and we have

kill them to be safe.

We have to be safe. Why do we always have to be safe and not other people?

Because we are special? Because we are the power? What power if we are so

fucking afraid all the time. Afraid of the enemy who is standing bare foot

in-front of our tanks. Tell your husband to imagine himself that bare foot

poor man standing in-front of our tank. He will shit in his Armani pants for

the rest of his life.

We are cursed people. We kill innocents for our oil. Shame on us. Thats why

all of you and me are miserable. Thats why we have to meet for lunch to cheer

ourselves up but nothing can cheer us up till we stop the killing. Go tell that

to your husband..............and good luck with your future meetings of love and lauggter

and your comic ability to always say, "I LOVE YOU."

Have the courage to say, I hate you all. I hate our country and its killing policies.

Have the courage to say that we are our own worst enemies and we are not

in a play called, "COMEDY OF LOVE." ITS CALLED, "TRAGEDY OF HATE."