WRITINGLIFE

 WRITINGLIFE

"It required much longer streches of being alone

with myself to write." ?

"Shut out the world to be restored." ?

"The vice of living in two worlds at once."?

'I made little or no effort to keep up with others,

it being no concern of mine what went in this realm of make believe." ?

Everything is a make believe to help whoever is making the scenario.

"Keep a straight face and pretend."?

"Don't give away your essential self to anything

or to anyone...

Keep that for yourself only. 

You can think it but but don't talk it." ?

'The only thing free in this world is your private thinking,

which is never shared with anyone." ?

" End of the story.

The story doesn't end.

This kind of story never ends.

It's an epic.

It goes on and on but assumes a different shape.

This kind of story doesn't end." ?

"That persecution, that oppression, huanting impressions." ?

"Perpetual themes which I care about." ?

"You give public only a tiny essence of your inner melody." ?

"Inner turmoil in my deportment." ?

"But I never did like cunning people in any form or shape

and this sounds cunning to me."?

"Once in a great while I came across a being whom I felt I could

give myself completely.  Alas! these beings existed only in books."  Henry Miller

Thats what I never understood- as Henry Miller says, 

"Reveal your true self and they will mutilate you."

I guess it meant, not only people I have been calling my friends but the world.

"I used to think that to be a great artist you have to tell the truth,

but I guess to be great- you have to hide the truth." ?

"There is a language in my heart which is so simple, so direct, so transparent-that words

were useless, that language didn't exist-so no one ever heard it." Henry Miller

"Language of clamor and tumult-the hearts clamor-the hearts tumult." Henry Miller

"And you can tell how long America had been in denial-what's happening now-

has been happening before- the violence, the brutality, the aggression, the persecution,

the oppression, just the new groups of people have been assigned the role."  Henry Miller

There is no one here-especially who cares for your pain or even understands it- so why express it? BS

Keep silent

less troubling

less painful-

and even if you speak- what's there to say which hasn't been said before?

Which is new for you to say and for them to hear... BS

"What is left unsaid-has the power.  BS

Finally after a struggle of months-I found a home, a kind of comfortable office for work-

I feel comfortable here- it's a secret of mine, the place and it's location but it's on Lafyette Street. BS

"Mute and motionless-drifting with steller flux completely oblivious to everything."  Henry Miller

"I not only invented the characters and events, I acted them out.' Henry Miller

"Just two or three hours of steady -work a day one could write the thickest book imaginable."

 Annonymous

"Two hours before dawn when the mind is fresh and the rest of the day to one-self."  Remy-de Gourmont

'The artist should become aware of higher order of things to recognize by the compulsive and

spontaneaus manipulation of his own impulses, the resemblence between human creation and what's

 called divine."   Annonymus study, to open up and in the process of

"Two to three hours regularly -every day of one's life- that its possible for a man to read virtually

everything of value which has ever been written, two hours before dawn when the mind is fresh

and the rest of the day to one-self."  Remy de- Gourmont

'remarks which can be annoying, racists even-but actually they say things out of their ignorance

plus their lack of curiosity to learn, to study, to open up-- and in the process of being with them

I waste my life force and what are you without your life force?  Do not spend time with such people-

and if you have to-stay neutral- passionless, just hi, hi, hi kind of conversation." BS

"He has to make himself a part of the mystery, live in it-as well with it."  Annonymous

"It's all play invention." ??

"Pain is not a pleasure but its a source to setting down in words mysteries of impulsion-compulsion-

propulsions," ?

"A desperate woman seeking through love to unite herself with herself." ?

"Every knock is a boost." ?

"You get strong by pushing again the force which is fighting you." ?

"Nature of destiny." ?

"No one is more helpless than the heroic individual." Henry Miller

"I am neither in favor or against any politician or any other leader.

By favoring them, I won't get anything or get anywhere-and by being against them

-I won't get anything or get anywhere.  I rather save my life force, my energy"   "BS

"From truth he passed to imagination and from imagination to invention- at this last

portal (invention) through which there is no return- fear beset him to venture farther was to 

wander alone, to relly wholly upon oneself." Annonymous

"Truth-imagination-invention-fear (to get out of it or to go forward) alone-relly upon oneself."  ?

"Miasma of folly, ignorance and greed. the world has to be put in order," ?

"It's for us to put ourselves in unison with some order." ?

"Acquire vision-discipline-forbearance."  ?

"Love is what life is about and they didn't do their job and life remained incomplete." ?

"You have to find a way to free yourself." B

"PERFECT STRANGER"

"Be cold and be tough."

Nothing else works.

 Nothing else has worked. 

'Nothing else will work."

"Nothing else is working."

Be tough

How many times you want me to tell you that?

Be very tough.

Tougher than all of them."

"And be cold."

"Not be cold, cold, freezing cold but cold towards people, all people."

 "Yes, all people, all of them, yes, I said, all of them.

"Did you not hear me?

Be distanced and cold towards people, yes cold, towards people."

"All the people, all the time."

How many times do you want me to tell you?

Are you stupid or something?

"Are you deaf and dumb?

Are you ignorant of the culture?

Their culture is cold, cold, like ice, cold, cold.

Colder than even the coldest possible ice.

Colder than the snow...

Colder than ice coffee with tons of more ice cubes in it on a coldest possible day.

The snow and ice has accumulated in their hearts...in all hearts, foreign and domestic.

In their mind...

In their kidneys...

In their liver

In their lungs...

In their muscles and bones..

They can't be warm towards you even if they try and they don't try...

They can't try to be warm because they are cold...

You understand me?

No, you don't. I can tell.

You are looking at me in such amazement as if trying to solve a puzzle.

But there is no puzzle...

They are cold.

That's it.

Cold like ice.

Their hearts are cold...

Can't warm up.

There is no heating system invented to warm a cold heart.

Not enough hot coco or bourben shots...

Stop expecting warmth from cold people.

It's not going to come your way...

Just stop expecting.

How long are you going to expect blood from a stone?

Are you stupid or something?

I thought you were educated.

Are you educated?

Did you go to school?

Did you go to college?

Did you go to university?

Don't tell me that you did...

If you did, then you wasted your money, your parents money and learnt nothing.

Let me tell you one more time.

No one is going to love you here...

No one, period.

They are not even going to think about you.

And why should they?

You are a stranger

A total stranger.

They don't know you.

And even if they did, they won't be warm towards you.

Why?

She says, "WHY?"

Because honey, they are cold

Cold and tough

And you?

Yes, you seeking love, seeking attention...

Bubbling with warmth, bubbling with the heat, heat of the oven, heat of lava...

You are pushing your warmth upon them for no good reason.

They are comfortable being cold. It's good for sleep.

They sleep soundly.

You are too hot.

Hot during the day, hot during the night.

The heat iches you, you scratch and scratch while they are sound asleep...

They are not aware of your burning warmth...

And even if they were, they don't want it.

They are comfortable the way they are.

Why don't you just give up?

"Give up?"

Yes, give up and save your heat of passion for a project.

"A project?"

Yes, a project- that would interest them. They are familiar with the word, "PROJECT."

They will pay attention...

It's a good word, the project.

Has lots of possibilitis...

Profit possibilities...

And the one which will

make you seem very important in the world.

Constantly looking for people to be warm towards you is a total lack of self respect

and is a sign of failure.

Cold cultures, cold climates, cold people are inventive because they are not wasting time looking for

 people, useless warm people to be lovely towards them.

And what for?

For the last time in this late moment in time, you have to learn 

from a well wisher to think of your self and not about cold and tough people...

Forget about them. Leave them alone. People don't want to be bothered.

Relax, eat your soup, it's getting cold and you don't like cold things...

Do you? 

You don't, I know that.

So don't waste another second of your time,  the most valuable of all things on this palnet.

Save your time, for yourself. That would be your success. Time,  the hours and minutes are your gems

 and pearls and topaz,

Save them for your self.

It will bring you a lot of benefit and one day you will thank me...

Be tender, be warm towards your self and towards your own time.

Don't expect warmth from cold people, from cold mountains, from cold success.

Give your warmth to your own time and save a fortune, a reward in the shape of rubies and diamonds.

Save your fortune.

Didn't Racine, that great French writer said something like this, 

"It's a pity that you waste so much time on trifles."

If not from me, at least learn something from Racine., you the stranger...the, perfect stranger.