I AM GAZA

 I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

SAY IT,

 AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM AM GAZA

SAY IT,

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

NEVER STOP SAYING IT

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM AZA

I WILL SAY IT TILL MYLAST BREATH

I AM AZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

REPEAT AFTER ME

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM AZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

NEVER FORGET

I AM GAZA I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA 

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

MY HEAR IS IN GAZA

MY SOUL IS IN GAZA

MY PRIDE IS IN GAZA

MY LIFE IS IN GAZA

MY TEARS ARE IN GAZA

MY SORROW IS IN GAZA

MY GRIEF. IS IN GAZA

MY LOVE IS IN GAZA

MY RESISTANCE IS IN GAZA

MY BRAVERY IS IN GAZA

MY TEARS ARE IN GAZA

MY CHILDREN ARE IN GAZA

MY MOTHER IS IN GAZA

MY FATHER IS IN GAZA

MY GRAND MOTHER IS IN GAZA

MY GRAND FATHER IS IN GAZA

MY CHILDREN ARE I GAZA

MY OLIVE TREES ARE IN GAZA

MY OLIVE OIL IS IN GAZA

MY HUMUS IS IN GAZA

MY BLOOD IS IN GAZA

MY SABAR IS IN GAZA

MY PATIENCE IS IN GAZA

MY HOPE IS IN GAZA

MY COURAGE IS IN GAZA

MY LIFE IS IN GAZA

MY GRAVE IS IN GAZA

MY TEARS ARE IN GAZAA

MY GRIEF IS IN GAZA

REPEAT AFTER ME

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

SAY IT

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

SAY T AGAIN AND AGAIN

I AM GAZA 

I AM GAZA. 

IAM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

SAY IT

MY HUNGER IS IN GAZA

MY LIFE IS IN GAZA

MY SABER IS IN GAZA

MY HOPE IS IN GAZA

MY TEARS ARE IN GAZA

MY GRIEF IS IN GAZA

I LIVE IN GAZA

I LIVE IN GAZA

I LIVE IN GAZA

I SEE GAZA

I SEE GAZA

I SEE. GAZA

I SEE GAZA

I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING IN GAZA

I SEE WHAT'S HAPPENING IN GAZA

I SEE WHAT IS HAPPENING IN GAZA

I SEE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SEE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SEE THE TEARS IN GAZA

I SEE THE TEARS IN GAZA

I SEE THE TEARS IN GAZA

I SEE THE GRIEF IN GAZA

I SEE THE GRIEF IN GAZA

I SEE. THE GRIEF IN GAZA

I SEE THE CHILDREN IN GAZA

I SEE THE CHILDREN IN GAZA

I SEE THE CHILDREN IN GAZA

I SEE THE CHILDREN IN GAZA

I SEE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SEE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SEE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SEE THE HUNGER IN GAZA

I SEE GD IN GAZA

I SEE ALLAH IN GAZA

I SEE THE PROPHET IN GAZA

I SEE THE HOPE IN GAZA

I SEE MYSELF IN GAZA

I SEE MYSELF IN GAZA

I SEE MYSELF IN GAZA

HOLDING HANDS F HUNGRY CHIDREN

OLDING HANDS OF HUNGRAY CHILDREN

HOLDING HANDS OF HUNGRY CHILDREN

WIPING THEIR TEARS

WIPING THERI TEARS

WIPING THEIR TEARS

WIPING THEIR TEARS

I SEE GAZA

 ISEE GAZA

I SEE GAZA

BECAUSE...

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

REPEAT AFTER ME

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

SAY IT, SAY IT AGAIN AND AGAIN

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM WITH YOU GAZA

I AM WITH YOU GAZA

I AM WITH YOU GAZA

SAY IT AGAIN

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA...

I AM GAZA

A MILLION TIMES

SAY IT

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA

I AM GAZA.

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I AM HOLDING YOUR HANDS

I AM HOLDING YOUR HANDS

I AM HOLDING YOUR HANDS

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I AM WITH YOU CHILDREN OF GAZA

I WILL NEVER ABANDON YOU

NEVER

I ALMOST FORGOT

 I ALMOST FORGOT

I was going to go out for brakfast

But I forgot that it was raining

Yesterday the same thing happened

The rain...

The rain came all of a sudden

And I had no umbrella

My claning lady threw all 

The things in the cupboard

Including the iron...

I have been wearing wrinkled clothes since then.

People stare at me in the streets

But I say silently, go away, go away...

My clothes are not wrinkled

But designed by a new designer

Whose name you won't be able to pronounce...

Just stop looking at me

Because right now

And for the rest of my life

I am not going to be a people's person

That has already damaged me...

People

People

People?

Who are these people?

People who have occupied your brain

Your mind, your self esteem, your troubled heart

All of your life.

I am finally done with something called, "People."

Enough is enough

Isn't it?

That's what the English language taught us

Or did this foreign language

Of the colonizers taught us

'It is superior langauge

The language of the superior people

The superior race

The language of the colonizers

It has to be superior

And whoever speak English 

Is superior...

Bullshit...

That's what I thought

When I came here...

Every one was mostly white

At least in the neighborhood

Where I ended up...

And they all spoke English

And I, stupid me, silly me, colonized me,

Thought, Oh! great! I am with the most

Superior and sophisticated people...

"People."

Oh! people. people, people...

The word, "People " became my guru

One worship one's guru

Right?

Right.

That's the function of a guru

To be worshiped

Oh! in this foreign country of superior 

People...

I must befriend them

That's why I am here

That's why I crossed the ocean 

Right?

Right

So, by my own choice, and my own will

I tried hard to surround myself by English 

Speaking people who were white...

You can't go wrong

I would say.

They all speak English

And they are white

I belong to that group...

Back home also, the people

Who spoke English were richer

Smarter...

That's what we thought

The one who spoke English wer closer to the colonizers

They kissed ass to be accepted

People who didn't speak English

They always had inferiority complex...

'I just came back from London"

Oh! yes, my hand bag is from London

I bought it from Harrods,

It's Gucci...

The non English speaking people

Had no idea what the word, "Gucci." meant

SO, they went home feeling more inferior than ever

And that's what went on for decades...

When I came here I didn't feel inferior

Or colonized

At least I wasn't aware of it ...

Because I was college educated

And came here with few dollars

Unlike other poor immigrants

And since I was educated and spoke some English

I was seeking English speaking people to be my friends

I was so naive even with dollars in my pocket

And a college degree

That I didn't realized that te people I am seeking to be

my friends are native people and English is their language

They all speak English...sweet heart...

I didn't think about that in my excitement

That excitement was stupidity never the less...

Since I was so high with being in America especially

In the might New York City and in Manhattan never the less...

"Oh! she lives in Manhattan"

Back home the rumor was spreading

At least the colonized so called sophisticated people

Who were actually jahal and very low class

But since they bought their bags from Harrods of London

We assumed that they were high class

That's how ignorant and naive we were even with our college

degrees...

So, I befriended English speaking people

Tried very hard to befriend them

Because they had some kind of attitude of superiority

But to my utmost horror after years of living here

I suddenly realized (Extremely late) that they were all

Low class, really low classed, trying to hide with fake

high class attitude...

I thought that whoever speaks English is educated, sophisticated

And high class people.

I all my life surrounded myself with fake, fake, fake people

Posing like somebodies while they were no bodies...zero..they were zero

And I was below zero not to ever think and realize that who ever speak

English is not high class...

It's their country and their language is English...

That's how much colonized we were by the English

Who occupied us for eternity

And our brains and our souls were all occupied since our birth

Or even before our birth...

I surrounded myself amongst worthless nobodies

Who most of the time would make condescending remarks

even after my days of achievements

And I would come home worrying and wondering about what they

just said and I never said anything back...

Looking back, first of all I would never be with them

If I was clear about one thing and one thing alone

That I was a person of integrity, colonized or not

That one thing we can never take out of our blood,

The crimes the settlers and colonizers committed 

Against our ancestors and and destroyed our soul

And we still came to their countries thinking that we are going 

There to advance ourselves, educate our selves

Learn the way of the world...and be part of the world where

We can speak up, express ourself, speak against the new occupatinos

New genocides, new atrocities being committed by the ancestors of the

ones who ocupied us and our body and soul....

But at least I don't surround myself with any people

People who speak English or French or German or even Arabic of

Saudi Arabia their neighbors...

'STAY AWAY FROM PEOPLE OF ANY CLASS

YOU NEVER KNOW WHO THEY ARE!

LIKE SARTRE SAID, 

"HELL IS OTHER PEOPLE."

SO TRUE, SO VERY TRUE.

YOU WANT TO GO FOR COFFEE?

FOR BREAKFAST?

YES. I LOVE TO GO FOR COFFEE. 

I GO EVERY DAY FOR COFFEE

I HAVE MADE MANY AFE OWNERS VERY RICH

YES, I WOULD LOVE TO GO FOR COFFEE

"YES, BUT ALONE BY MYSELF.

WHY DI I NEED YU TO GO WITH ME FOR COFFEE?

SO YOU CAN MAKE MORE CONDESCENDING REMARKS 

ABOUT ME WITH A FAKE SMILE?

THOSE DAYS ARE OVER SWEETHEART

OVER, "DONE AND DUSTED." AS THE ENGLISH SAY

I WANT TO SIP MY HOT BOILING COFFEE ALONE

I WANT TO ENJOY MY COFFEE

THATS WHY I PAY $10 FOR IT

AND FOR THAT I HAVE TO BE BY MY SELF

I HAPPEN TO ENJOY MY OWN COMPANY

AND FOR THAT...

I WANT TO BE ALONE

GLOOM

 GLOOM

Gloom is inside or outside?

Outside it's raining, dark, cloudy, drizzling, weeping, cursing the sun

Inside is quiet, boring, you can call it peaceful, dull, dark, quiet, deadly

You would rather be outside or inside?

What a question!

Why would I be anywhere?

Wait for the rain stop

And?

Then go out

Out?

Where?

Somewhere...

Where?

Lunch

Not hungry

Did you eat lunch?

I don't eat lunch

Do

Did you have breakfast?

Tea

What about breakfast?

Not yet

What are you waiting for?

Excitement

Thats not coming, eat something

Who told you that the excitement is not coming?

Look around you, look out side, look inside...is there any hope of excitement coming?

Then what's coming?

Nothing is coming

That's gloomy

Yes, gloom is coming

I thought that the glom was outside?

Yes, but now it's coming inside

Why?

Things which are outside need to come in...

It's cold, dark and gloomy outside

And inside?

Don't be worrying, have patience, soon you will have company

Oh! people are coming in?

People?

Yes, people

Which people?

Just people...

People are having lunch somewhere

Where?

Somewhere

In the rain?

No, inside

Inside where?

Oh! please. where do people have lunch usually?

Some lousy greasy spoon filled with gloom

No way, people pay 45 dollars for two eggs and a deadly slice of limp white bread

You might as well welcom gloom from outside to come in and?

And?

And make him a cup of tea

Gloom is a man?

Yup...he took all the power of the sun and the moon and the rain and your money...

Why would i welcome him then?

Because, because, because, you have nothing else to do...

I can't go out, I don't have William Scot's walking stick...

My favorite place for breakfast is very far and it's rainy and gloomy outside

And I don't have a walking stick...

Would you have gloom or the walking stick?

Walking stick

Then you will go out?

Yes

And?

And what?

You will fall down in the slush and mud and broken side walks with dogs coming to get you

and you will fall and get hurt or even die...

Oh!

Yes, oh!

So what should I do?

Stay in, stay safe, let gloom come in...at least you won't be alone and you will still be alive

Does gloom keep you alive?

Of course, every day, every day, day after day, day after day...

You must be thankful to  gloom for being inside the room and not dead outside near the wet rats...

Oh! gee, you are so gloomy

Look outside, look inside, look around you...

Only source of being alive is gloom...

Did you get it sweetheart? get up and have breakfast...

STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF SINGING BIRDS

 STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF SINGING BIRDS

A COLLECTION OF WRITINGS

BY

BINA SHARIF

From the year, 2009-2024

copyright: binasharif:2009-2024

  

MESS, MESS EVERYWHERE.

BAGS FULL OF HAND WRITTEN MATERIAL

 BAGS FULL OF HAND WRITTEN MATERIAL

PUT INTO THE WORD PROGRAM

WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT SOME DAY

PUT ART WORK IN ONE COLLECTION

WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!

MAKE SPACE FOR WRITING AT HOME

YEH, WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!

MAKE SPACE FOR DRAWING AT HOME

YEH, WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!

CLEAN UP...

YAH...YAH...YAH

KITCHEN TABLE

WHAT ABOUT THE KITCHEN TABLE?

REMOVE THE MESS

YEH, WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!

KITCHEN DRESSING TABLE

WHAT?

KITCHEN DRESSING TABLE

YOU HAVE A DRESSING TABLE IN THE KITCHEN?

YEH, ONE IN THE BED ROOM AND ONE IN THE KITCHEN

AND YOU NEVER DRESS UP...

YAH...THAT'S A SHAME!

DRESSING TABLE IN THE BED ROOM

WHAT ABOUT THE DRESSING TABLE IN THE THE BED ROOMED ROOM?

THE MESS ON THE DRESSING TABLE IN THE BED ROOM

WHEN WILL THE MESS BE CLEANED UP?

YAH...YAH...YAH

UNDER THE KITCHEN SINK

WHAT ABOUT THAT?

THE MESS

YOU HAVE SO MUCH MESS, ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE MESS?

I HATE THE MESS

WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP THE MESS?

I HATE THE MESS SO MUCH THAT WHEN I LOOK AT IT , I WANT TO THROW UP

AND TO AVOID THE VOMIT AND QUICKLY LEAVE AND GO SIT IN A FANCY CAFE TO FEEL

THAT I AM STILL SOMEWHAT FANCY.

WHAT A LIE YOU ARE LIVING ALL THIS TIME...

AT LEAST I AM LIVING...F THEM WEAR PANT SUITS

I AM LIVING LIKE ALL THE POLITICIANS WHO LIVE THE LIFE OF LIES IN A PANT SUIT

NOT ALL OF THEM WEAR PANTSUITS...

NOT ALL OF THEM BUT PANT SUITS ARE MORE POWERFUL AND GIVE YOU STATUS OF

IMPORTANCE EVEN IF YOUR HOUSE IS FULL OF MESS...

THROW ALL THE MESS OUT AND BUY SOME POWER PANT SUITS

I DON'T HAVE TO THROW THE MESS OUT AND STILL BUY THE PANT SUITS AND BEHAVE

 POWERFUL

YOU CAN'T JUST BEHAVE POWERFUL, YOU HAVE TO BE POWERFUL AND WHEN YOUR

 HOUSE IS MESSY, YOU ARE NOT POWERFUL AT ALL. THE MESS ON YOUR MIND TAKE

OVER YOUR POWER AND BRILLIANCE.

F ABSENCE TAKE A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM THE CAFE'S AND GO HOME AND DEAL

 WITHE MESS ONCE AND FOR ALL AND I PROMISE YOU WILL ACHIEVE SUCCESS WHICH

 YOU CAME HERE FOR...

REALLY?

YES, REALLY...

YOU DON'T LIVE IN NY, I DO AND I HAVE SEEN SOME OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL

 PEOPLE'S APTS ...THEY LIVE WITHE RATS...

THEY BECAME SUCCESSFUL FIRST AND RATS LATER...YOU DID THE OPPOSITE...

LIVE LIKE THE ONES WHO LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO...

BE HOMELESS, YOU MEAN...

YOU ARE STILL HOMELESS...YOU LIVE IN THE CAFE'S $7 EXPRESSO WHILE THE MESS

 LIVES IN YOUR HOUSE RENT FREE...

CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?

BY ALL MEANS...YOU ALWAYS ASK ME QUESTIONS AT THE END...GO AHEAD, ASK

WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOURF COUNTRY?

SILENCE...

WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY?

SILENCE...

WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY?

SILENCE COMES...SILENCE COMES...SILENCE COMES...

THEN I WOKE UP...

I NEED TO CLEAN THIS MESS SOMEDAY SOON...

THE DEPRESSION BEGINS...EARLY IN THE MORNING AND LASTS TILL LATE IN THE NIGHT.

BOOKS TO BE READ

BOOKS TO BE READ

STOLEN AND DAMAGED ART

ART OF DESPARATION

END OF THE NIGHT

NEW BOOK ABOUT BOUDELAIRE

SWAN IN THE EVENING (DONE READING)

CAFE TALES

LETTERS TO THE PRESS BY George Bernard Shaw

SAMUEL JHONSON'S BOOK ABOUT ANOTHER AUTHOR WHOSE NAME ESCAPES ME

RIGHT NOW