STREAM OF CONSCIOUSNESS OF SINGING BIRDS
A COLLECTION OF WRITINGS
BY
BINA SHARIF
From the year, 2009-2024
copyright: binasharif:2009-2024
Monday, December 16, 2024
Monday, November 18, 2024
BAGS FULL OF HAND WRITTEN MATERIAL
BAGS FULL OF HAND WRITTEN MATERIAL
PUT INTO THE WORD PROGRAM
WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT SOME DAY
PUT ART WORK IN ONE COLLECTION
WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!
MAKE SPACE FOR WRITING AT HOME
YEH, WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!
MAKE SPACE FOR DRAWING AT HOME
YEH, WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!
CLEAN UP...
YAH...YAH...YAH
KITCHEN TABLE
WHAT ABOUT THE KITCHEN TABLE?
REMOVE THE MESS
YEH, WE WILL SEE ABOUT THAT!
KITCHEN DRESSING TABLE
WHAT?
KITCHEN DRESSING TABLE
YOU HAVE A DRESSING TABLE IN THE KITCHEN?
YEH, ONE IN THE BED ROOM AND ONE IN THE KITCHEN
AND YOU NEVER DRESS UP...
YAH...THAT'S A SHAME!
DRESSING TABLE IN THE BED ROOM
WHAT ABOUT THE DRESSING TABLE IN THE THE BED ROOMED ROOM?
THE MESS ON THE DRESSING TABLE IN THE BED ROOM
WHEN WILL THE MESS BE CLEANED UP?
YAH...YAH...YAH
UNDER THE KITCHEN SINK
WHAT ABOUT THAT?
THE MESS
YOU HAVE SO MUCH MESS, ARE YOU IN LOVE WITH THE MESS?
I HATE THE MESS
WHY DON'T YOU CLEAN UP THE MESS?
I HATE THE MESS SO MUCH THAT WHEN I LOOK AT IT , I WANT TO THROW UP
AND TO AVOID THE VOMIT AND QUICKLY LEAVE AND GO SIT IN A FANCY CAFE TO FEEL
THAT I AM STILL SOMEWHAT FANCY.
WHAT A LIE YOU ARE LIVING ALL THIS TIME...
AT LEAST I AM LIVING...F THEM WEAR PANT SUITS
I AM LIVING LIKE ALL THE POLITICIANS WHO LIVE THE LIFE OF LIES IN A PANT SUIT
NOT ALL OF THEM WEAR PANTSUITS...
NOT ALL OF THEM BUT PANT SUITS ARE MORE POWERFUL AND GIVE YOU STATUS OF
IMPORTANCE EVEN IF YOUR HOUSE IS FULL OF MESS...
THROW ALL THE MESS OUT AND BUY SOME POWER PANT SUITS
I DON'T HAVE TO THROW THE MESS OUT AND STILL BUY THE PANT SUITS AND BEHAVE
POWERFUL
YOU CAN'T JUST BEHAVE POWERFUL, YOU HAVE TO BE POWERFUL AND WHEN YOUR
HOUSE IS MESSY, YOU ARE NOT POWERFUL AT ALL. THE MESS ON YOUR MIND TAKE
OVER YOUR POWER AND BRILLIANCE.
F ABSENCE TAKE A LEAVE OF ABSENCE FROM THE CAFE'S AND GO HOME AND DEAL
WITHE MESS ONCE AND FOR ALL AND I PROMISE YOU WILL ACHIEVE SUCCESS WHICH
YOU CAME HERE FOR...
REALLY?
YES, REALLY...
YOU DON'T LIVE IN NY, I DO AND I HAVE SEEN SOME OF THE MOST SUCCESSFUL
PEOPLE'S APTS ...THEY LIVE WITHE RATS...
THEY BECAME SUCCESSFUL FIRST AND RATS LATER...YOU DID THE OPPOSITE...
LIVE LIKE THE ONES WHO LIVE IN SAN FRANCISCO...
BE HOMELESS, YOU MEAN...
YOU ARE STILL HOMELESS...YOU LIVE IN THE CAFE'S $7 EXPRESSO WHILE THE MESS
LIVES IN YOUR HOUSE RENT FREE...
CAN I ASK YOU A QUESTION?
BY ALL MEANS...YOU ALWAYS ASK ME QUESTIONS AT THE END...GO AHEAD, ASK
WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOURF COUNTRY?
SILENCE...
WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY?
SILENCE...
WHY DID YOU LEAVE YOUR COUNTRY?
SILENCE COMES...SILENCE COMES...SILENCE COMES...
THEN I WOKE UP...
I NEED TO CLEAN THIS MESS SOMEDAY SOON...
THE DEPRESSION BEGINS...EARLY IN THE MORNING AND LASTS TILL LATE IN THE NIGHT.
BOOKS TO BE READ
BOOKS TO BE READ
STOLEN AND DAMAGED ART
ART OF DESPARATION
END OF THE NIGHT
NEW BOOK ABOUT BOUDELAIRE
SWAN IN THE EVENING (DONE READING)
CAFE TALES
LETTERS TO THE PRESS BY George Bernard Shaw
SAMUEL JHONSON'S BOOK ABOUT ANOTHER AUTHOR WHOSE NAME ESCAPES ME
RIGHT NOW
LET'S BECOME COMEDIANS CONTINUES
LET'S BECOME COMEDIANS
Be the best.ror, hand made by you and no one else
Final solution for the negative and depressed mind is comedy
Ridicule satire
Hold the mirror to power
Your mirror and no one else's
Don't apply other's formula to your own ability, no matter how
politically correct that might be
Be true to yourself and to your words
Say what you mean with a cackle but not too much cackle because no
One will take you seriously.
Limited cackle necessary but it's healthy
Express everything with a joke, like a joke
Five minutes of jokes
People are going through high price grocery
Fill their stomachs and minds with funny jokes about the rising prices of grocery
Keep laughing at yourself
Low ego necessary
High ego makes people walk out
You are not an expert on everything or anything
Play dumb and funny
Politics is the most important thing for comedy if used properly
Make fun of everything seriously
Start with making fun of yourself.
Dress up smart and stylish
Wear a grand hat
Live in denial on stage
Don't be a sf middle classmart Alec
Sometime be smarter than other times but right away assume
The persona of non serious ordinary persoround of middle class background...
A person without a mercedes Benz is a poor person, play with poverty
Assume a state of fluidity
Stylish comedy. Style is everything
Be smart, behave ignorant
Have incredible passion for tho have an hour oe audience, connect with them
Be ready to have an hour of fun with yourself and with the audience
Hide your anger under laughs and little remarks which can be biting
Don't make them obliged to laugh
Make fun of permanent corruption of all politicians
Become the mouthpiece of the voiceless in an amusing manner
Stay away from anger in an obvious way
Make a point without great empahsis
Be casual with your seriousness
Sunday, November 17, 2024
LETS BECOME COMEDIANS
LETS BECOME COMEDIANS
Hold the mirror to power in a funny way
Let's live in denial of reality
Let's create a fictional world
The world of jokes, jokes, jokes
Life is a joke
Live that joke and laugh
Laugh and laugh and laugh
Laugh like Kamala
Laugh like Camala
Laugh like Camala
Not laughing like
Not laughing now
That's why the ridicule of comedy is necessary
Let's live our lives in a comic show
three months of laughter
Better than never laughing
Let people perish
You must laugh
Live like a joyful warrior
Just like Camala
Live like Joyful warrior just like Camala
At least for three months
At least for three months
Better than never laughing
Better than always crying
Crying over the demise of other human beings
Not laughing now
Not laughing now
Who is laughing now?
Someone else
Always obey the custom of laughing
moe htOne cries at night
The other laughs in
Why are you always crying?
The other laughs tomorrow
One laughs now
The other will laugh tomorrow
That's the custom of the world
Are you part of the world?you?
Than adopt comedy
Comedy is your profession now
Another profession?
Yes,
Time to change my career
Career of failure?
Always failure
Always failure
But in the guise of comedy
Always make fun of failure
Your's and every one else's
When laughter is the part of the slaughter ofhumanity
Then ev ery one has failed
Everyone...
No success over the murder of a whole human race
Laugh...
Laugh...
Laugh...
Laugh like a comedian
Laugh like Camala...
Let us be all comedian...
Enough of blood shed...
Time for a hearty laughter...
You must fail in life
Failure is essential
laugh and laugh and laugh
Be a comedian fom now on...
Fail and fail again
BUT LAUGH AT YOURSELrF
BUT LAUGH LOUDLY AT YOUR FAILURE
THAT'S YOUR NEW JOB FROM NOW ON...
CELEBRATE....
Are
Tuesday, October 22, 2024
THE GARDEN
THE GARDEN
It's getting cold but I don't want to Leave
I can't leave this blissful garden
How can I?
Heaven amongst hell...
The jungle outside
With bicycles, motor bikes and dogs on the side walks
Any second your bones will be broken...
People in a hurry
Where are they going?
Going somewhere...
It's good to be in a hurry
Saves time
Life is short...
But they have no right to bump into you...
Bumping into other people and smashing their shoulder blades...
Surgery is required is required because of their urgency of selfishness.
Got a rotator cuff...
Oh! here comes another one
Crushing everyones toes
He is in a hurry too...
Where is he going?
Going somewhere....
He can go whereever but doesn't have to take my toes with him...
Here comes the ferocious looking dog...
The owner is texting
The leash is very long
The dog is coming in between my legs
I am not only afraid of dogs but I have a bad knee as well...
The fear of the dog and no cartilage in the knee, a bad combination...
"Can you please watch your dog?"
I plead to the busy man on his phone...
He doesn't hear me...
"Can you please watch your dog?" I plead again
He takes his ear plugs out and is furious
'What's wrong miss? '"My dog is on a leash."
'The leash is very long and my knee is sensitive and when I am frightened
It gives a big jump and a jerk to my knee."
"My dog is fine, is very calm, is a puppy, won't do any thing to you."
"How do you know? You are not watching, you are texting."
'What's your problem miss? " My dog is good. Doesn't hurt any one, won't hurt you."
"I am not any one and if your dog does hurt me, it will be too late for me."
At this moment he mumbled a curse word and angrily walked away.
These kinds of things happen a lot on the side walk and now
I feel blessed and protected in this beautiful little garden.`
The garden is so peaceful, so serene...
No horns, no ambulances, no drunks, no homeless
No piercing siren's of police cars...
I can't believe i found this beautiful garden...
One day by walking, looking for a cafe, no cafe insight
I just turned on a remote corner and smelled scent of jasmine
There was a wall in-front of me though...
I almost turned around and go back to the bus...
Then suddenly I saw. a small gate, bit hidden
I went to the gate, it wasn't locked...opened it
Couldn't believe my eyes...
There was a gem of a green little, well maintained garden
Full of rose buds and jasmine sunflowers and flowers of all kinds
There was even a small table and a few chairs there...
I thought it was a dream...
Couldn't believe it.
I sat on the chair and took a long breath to get all the perfumes and fresh air
In my tired lungs...
The garden became my seceret Eden...
I went back many times
Sat there and read books, books my favorite books of poetry and philosophy...
Thought of Baudelaire, who was always looking for an adventure, going to exotic
places without ever getting there...
Read short stories by Maupassant, Poetry of Byron and T.S. Elliot...
Every evening I thought of the garden
Every morning I went there...
The gate was always open...
No one was ever there but I...
I can live here for ever...
It was my Eden...
Then I woke up...
It was a dream afterall.
GARDEN WASN'T THERE...
ONLY THE NOISE, THE SIRENS, THE AGGRESSION, THE BICYCLES...PEOPLE RUSHING
ABOUT, CRUSHING YOUR TOES....
Wednesday, October 16, 2024
HOPE
HOPE
"Demans hope from herself."
"Baffled and wounded but not angry."
Neither is she defeatist in her portrait of arts role." Some one, a critic, whose name I have to look for said about 'Enter Ghost" a novel by Isabella Haddad
" CONVERSATION OF BELIEF."
THIS ADVENTURE
This adventure turned into a dump
There is nothing...nothing valuable to participate in
Conversation...
What conversation?
Conversation is one of the most rare things.
No one has conversations here
They have opinions
And only their opinion matters
One and only one opinion matters
Theirs...
Otherwise they walk away in anger...
Anger towards their enemies is deadly
And they have so many enemies.
Oh! god, so many enemies...
Almost the whole world
Half of the worlrl for sure...
Not only they want to bomb countries
They want to bomb religions as well
r animalisticThe religions they don't like...
The religions, they consider animalistic
But alas! they don't know perhaps that they can never bomb a religion
Religion is nothing but a belief
No one can kill a belief
It's in people's hearts, in their souls
So, the only thing they can kill is the people of faith
But they don't seem to understand that their faith,
Their belief still lives after their murder...
It lives amongst their generations...
In souls of the dead people...giveIn their hearts
So, they oe day decide to kill the whole generation of people of faith
Children, women, grand children
The first one to be slaughtered...
No woman alive to give birth
There will be no children born
No children alive to grow. up
If there are no children left
Then they won't grow up
And then, there will be no people of belief
tunateNo people of faith...
That's what they think
But they are the most unfortunate people
They have no purpose in life...
But I am mistaken purpose is to muder
Their purpose is to murder others
Mutilate others...
Others they hate
Others they detest...
Their hatred seretes toxic harmons of passion
Passion to kill....
They call that justice of democracy...
They ae democratic
They are modern...
o assasinate are civilized...
That's how they describe their cruelty...
Now they make a list of the people they want assasinate
Their leaders approve that list
Their leaders give the final order
'Go, ahead, his time has come. Get the drone ready."
Of course, it's the leafders orders...
They have to obey...
A leader is a leader after all...
After the order of the leader, they write the name
of the one to be assasinated, the one whose
Opinion didn't match with the leader of democracy,
Afer the final order they write the name of the person,
the one who didn't agree withe leader
On the bomber plan and on the 200 thousand tons of bomb
before they drop the bomb on him while he might be
asleep.
Or in the toilet, woke up to take a leak
Or in his car, if he had a car, driving in the desert...
The bomb will come
It's like a play
In which...
last scene, the final scene
Has to come before the curtain comes down
The avant gard leader think it's a comedy,
An experimental performance art piece...
formance artVery popular the new democratic performance art
They are teaching courses of that art in the IV league universities..
Bravo. The Western civilized, democratic world
Always creates new ways of performing.
They perform their performance art on people of faith
They have also invented a new name for people of faith
People of resistence,
They call them, "Terrorists."
What a great word
A great word in the English language...
They keep updating their English dictionary...
It's a gret word, Terrorists."
The original wrier of the English Dictionary wouldn't have liked it...
Dr, Samuel j ohnson wasn't a murdere
He was an intellectual, a philosopher, a conversationalist...
The greatest conversationalist ever born
If he was alive today, he would have told people never to murder any one,
And instead would have suggested, conversation between people of
opposite opinions and belief...because he knew belief can't be killed.
They have murdered millions of people but their belief,
Their Iman, their faith is still alive...
Yes, it is,
It is....
Thats why the killing is still going on....
WHAT PAST ACTIONS TELL US?
"WHAT PAST ACTIONS TELL US?" Khalidid
COLONIZERS OF PROJECT PALESTINE....?
Arthur James Balfour
Sir Charles Tegart
Gen sir Frank K Kitson
'How the Irish experience was exported to India, Egypt and then turned to Palestine.
You. have to understand British Colonialism more broadly?"
TAKE OUT
TAKE OUT
Take out alcohol
Salt
Ultra processed food
For gut health and leg circulation
TAKE....
Beans
Black beans
Chick peas
Lentils
Carrots
Garlic
Dark chocolate
Black tea
Barly
Mushrooms
Porcini mushrooms
Fruit peels
Apples
Pears
Peaches
Apricot
Seafood
Salon
Mussles
Clams
TAKE OUT
Fried food.
LET THE WORLD COME IN"
"LET THE WORLD COME IN."
Let te world come into your work.
Don't stay within your imagination
Archives?
The beginning of the story
Archives are incomplete
It resists to preserve and destroy
What do we do with all kind of silences?
The habit of my brain.
history might be more important than archives
Circulate your writing
Put your thoughts out in the world
--------------------------------------------
You don't have to convince any one.
----------------------------------------------
Thats not your work...
----------------------------
You just voice your thoughts.
----------------------------------
Your voice is the most important.
----------------------------------------
At some point stop looking, start inventing.
------------------------------------------------
Messiness of history... Isabella Hammad
-----------------------------
Friday, October 4, 2024
"LOVE OF CONVERSATION."
"LOVE OF CONVERSATIONto participate."
This adventure turned into a dump.
There is nothing valuable to participate in.
Conversation perhaps?
What conversation?
Thursday, October 3, 2024
NUTRITION
NUTRICIAN.
Foliate: Nuts plus leafy greens
Vit C: Peppers, Tomatos, Citrus
Zinc: Prevents infectious disease.
Thiamin: BI
Vit D 3: Prevents, Autoimmune disease, metabolic disease, cardiovascular, muscleand skeleton, infectious
disease.
Iodine: Seaweeds, seafood, iodized salt
Vit E: Nuts ,seeds, vegetable oils
Calcium: Dairy, fish
Iron: Red meat, eggs
Riboflavin: Vit B2: , Eggs, meats
"ANGUISH."
"ANGUISH"
Existentially anguished artist, troubled but not relently so." ?
"Tortured artist alienated from famrious depression."ily, friends, plagued by self doubt and serious
depression."...anonymous.
Please change that image if you are also one of those artists." BS
Liberalism?
"LIBERALISM?
Liberalism and weaponized Tool?
Weakness of powere foLoss of valuesr what's rightfully ours.
Lost values
Struggle for what's rightfully ours...
Marginalized people, looking for freedom
'reservoir of values from history's cul-de sac
Mercy for humanity
Searching for truth and freedom
Powerful trend of thought, mercy for humanity
Agenda of power is shallow
Marginalized humanity, give up inferiority complex...colonized mentality and be brave
Craft your message with courage and confidence and pure intentions...
Mercy for opressed and lost humanity...
"OH! Mohammad, I have sent--as not but Mercy for humanity."
'Not for Muslims only but for the whole humanity."
"A CHANCE"
"A CHANCE."
"ONLY THE FUTURE REVISITS THE PAST."
"WHAT IS A COUNTRY, BUT A LIFE SENTENCE."
"A CHANCE." Ocean Vouong
Friday, September 27, 2024
A SENSE OF DIRECTION
A SENSE OF DIRECTION
WHAT IS OF UTMOST VALUE?
NO WAY TO KNOW
WHAT YOU MIGHT REGRET
IN THE FUTURE?
WHOSE PUPPETS ARE THEY?
DO YOU HAVE TO ASK?
YES,,TELL ME...
THE WEST...
WHY?
INFERIORITY COMPLEX
NO SENSE OF DIRECTION
OF THEIR OOWN DESTINY.
STAND UP POETRY
STAND UP POETRY
I AM A STAND UP POET
WHO SITS MOST OF THE DAY
I AM A STAND UP COMEDIAN
WO SITS MOST OF THE DAY...
DOES THAT ANSWER YOUR QUESTION?
I DIDN'T ASK A QUESTION...
I HEARD YOUR QUESTION...
I WAS SILENT THROUGH OUT
YOUR SILENCE IS THE QUESTION
MY SILENCE IS MY CHOICE
YOUR CHOICE IS ALWAYS ASKING QUESTIONS...
BUT YOU MAGE A STATEMENT
WHAT STATEMENT?
YOU, YOURSELF DECLARED THAT YOU ARE A STAND UP
POET WHO SITS ALL DAY LONG...
YOU ALSO DECLARED THAT YOU ARE A STAND UP COMEDIAN
WHO SITS ALL DAY LONG...
BUT YOU KEPT RIDICULING MY STATEMENT AND TURNED
INTO QUESTIONS WITH YOUR OMINOUS SILENCE...
I HATE YOUR SILENCE
IT'S VERY SARCASTIC, VERY CHALLENGING...VERY HURTFUL
MY SILENCE IS GOLDEN...
GOLDEN MY...
FINISH THE SENTENCE...GO AHEAD...FINISH
GOLDEN MY...
YOU CAN'T FINISH...
YOU ARE AFRAID, YOU ANALYZED YOUR OWN DIEMA
MY DILEMA? AND WHAT'S THAT?
FEAR, FEAR IS YOUR DILEMA...YOU ARE AFRAID
TO RECITE POETRY, THATS WHY YOU ARE SITTING ALL
DAY LONG...
YOU ARE AFRAID TO BE COMEDIAN, BECAUSE YOU HAVE
NO JOKES AND THATS WHY YOU SIT ALL DAY LONG...
BRILLIANT, JUST BRILLIANT. HAD NO IDEA THAT YOU ARE
AN ANALYST...
I AM NOT, BUT YOU JUST MADE ME ONE...
YOUR GIBBERISH IS JUST AMAZING...
GIBBERISH?
YES, THINGS WHICH MAKES NO SENSE IS CALLED, GIBBERISH
I WAS SILENTLY SITTING AND YOU INVOLVED ME IN YOUR
STUPID NONSENSICAL RHETORIC
YOU CALL POETRY RHETORIC?
YOU HAVE NO POETRY, YOU ARE JUST SITTING
POETS CAN SIT AS WELL...
THEN WHY DID YOU CALL YOUR SELF A. "STAND UP POET?"
FREEDOM OF SPEECH...HAVE YOU EVER HEARD OF IT?
WHAT?
FREEDOM OF SPEECH...
WHAT ABOUT FREEDOM TO STAY SILENT?
THERE IS NOTHING LIKE THAT...
THERE IS HARDLY ANY FREEDOM IN REMAINING SILENT...
IF YOU HAVE NOTHING SUBSTANTIAL TO SAY, YOU SHOULD ALSO
STAY SILENT.
NEVER IN MY LIFE... I LIKE WORDS...I LOVE WORDS
YOU NEED TO CHOSE YOUR WORDS WISELY...
AND WHO ARE YOU TELLING ME ALL THAT? WHERE DO YOU COME FROM?
I DIDN'T COME FROM ANYWHERE...
I AM INSIDE OF YOU...I AM YOUR SILENCE...
TRYING TO KEEP YOU SAFE...
WORDS HAVE A DIFFERENT MEANING NOW...
WORDS CAN CAUSE YOU HARM
YOUR FREEDOM OF SPEECH CAN PUT YOU IN PRISON
DO YOU WANT TO GO TO PRISON?
DO YOU WANT TO PERFORM YOUR POEMS IN PRISON SITTING DOWN?
YOU BETTER BE SILENT TILL THE DANGER PASS...
WHAT DANGER?
SILENCE...
WHAT DANHER?
SILENCE...
WHT ANGER?
THEN I WOKE UP...
I WAS SWEATING
THE ROOM WAS DARK AND STUFFY AND SILENT...
I WAS AFRAID OF THE SILENCE OF THE ROOM...
LAUGHTER
LAUGHTER
"AND THEN?"
"THEN WHAT?"
"HAPPENED?"
"DON"T ASK."
"STILL!"
"WHAT?"
"WHAT IS THE MATTER?"
"MATTER?"
"YES, WHAT IS THE MATTER WITH YOUR LAUGHTER?"
"LAUGHTER?"
"YES, LAUGHTER."
"WHAICH LAUGHTER?"
"YOUR LAUGHTER DARLING, YOUR LAUGHTER?"
"WAS THERE EVER A LAUGHTER?"
THE END
ADVICE OF AN EXPERT
ADVICE OF AN EXPERT.
Do not give a hoot about any one or anything
Contact Ian, Bette and Suzi in London
Be with ordinary people
They are the happy ones.
That's in case you want to be happy.
Do you want to be happy?
You should have been strong
and stood your grounds.
You should have never signed
for the sale of the house
Now too late
Water under the bridge.
The lesson is that you must be strong
under all circumstances
The way you think
The way you write,
The way your moral impulse is...
Be aware of that quality at all times
and never try to weaken it to
Please others.
Avoid low lives
Most of the people you encounter are low lives...
That's the reason of you being upset
after you see them.
Avoid such people...they can't help it
Not your class
Be alone if you can't find some decent folks.
Read great books.
Those are the companions you need
Learn from their greatness...
Avoid manipulating, calculating, money grabbing
people. They are all inferior in every respect
trying to overpower every one with their
un-educated and criminal behavior.
Remember god's gift...
Intellect
talent
morals
character
Ability
is god given and you are blessed by the gods...
Huge talent and indepenence was given to you
by the gods...they told you, "Do it yourself"
'Do everything by yourself."
'Like you have always done"
"You go look"
"You will find."
"And thank Allah all day long
For your health and well being."
"Be firm."
'Try to talk to some acqucintances
who might be able to furthur something you have
But be polite, formal and expect nothing but still ask..."
Try, Just try...Show your work...you never know."
Keep your wonderful gifts such as your honesty,
Your love, your affection, your grace, your dignity,
your generosity for your self. You can share some of. those
attributes but with the right kind of people...better to keep
it for yourself. you earned it and you might need those things
on a rainy afternoon."
Your personality must stay strong and remian strong
under all odd moments. Do not get intimidated by
Any one, neither get frightened by any one...
You just stay firm in your belief and in your actions."
Wednesday, September 25, 2024
PURSUIT
PURSUIT
Find a way to a pursuit that motivate us
in which we can lose ourselves.
The pursuit might not have high status
Or to generate money...
Recover contact with our native interests
and inspirations such as, how we used
to play as children.
We never thought of an income or reputation.
We must e in touch with what we truely love.
Ask your self, "What sort of stuff do you truely love?
And simply narrate what you sincerely love to do...
even for pleasure...
actually whatever gives you pleasure is your true love
Small or big, significant or insignificant...
profitable or non profitabel...
What is it that you like to do or should I say, "love to do?"
Drawings,
Writing about anything...
Plays...
Performing...
Walking...
Going to a nice cafe...
Laughing...
Talking....
Do all that. What is stopping you?
No idea...
Something has stopped me...
I can't laugh any more...
I don't laugh any more...
I can't laugh any more
And that's the reason...
Perhaps that's the reason that I have stopped doing little things that i used to love...
THE LIGHT
THE LIGHT
"THE LIGHT INE ME."
"THE SAME LIGHT IN YOU" Guillian jorge
" WHEN YOUR LIGHT WENT OUT-
MY EXISTENCE PLUNGED INTO DARKNESS-
NOW THERE IS NO LIGHT
I TRY TO LIGHT A CANDLE
TO BRING SOME LIGHT
IN BOTH OF US...
SO WE CAN SEE EACH OTHER AGAIN..." BS
(For Arshad, my sweet brother)
SPACE
SPACE
You have a wonderful space already and every day
you are looking for some ordinary space.
How unfortunate is that. BS
"SAYINGS OF GUILLEN JORGE"
"SAYINGS OF GUILLEN JORGE"
A five hundered page novel: CANTICO (CANTICLE) 1928--1950
"OUR AIR." POEMS, THREE BOOKS
FE-DE-VIDA ("FAITH IN LIFE.")
CLAMOR. IN CLAMOR-HE JOINS LIGHT TO DARKNESS
HOMAGE, IN HOMAGE HE WROTE AN HOMAGE TO THE WORLD AND IT'S VOICES
OF MEMORY.
"Ecstasy of breath
The oblivion of being
The existence of things
"Everything stands in a luminous circle around his being."
'His exultation is his sudden and surprising vision of things.
ONE CENTRAL NOTION
"We are"
The we includes himself, you,me, things. the world."
The creative surprise occurs in waking to an awareness of being striving to make real the
forces between himself and everything around him."
"Doctor of nothingness." (El doctor-de-la Nada)
'The light is in me-the same light is in you."
'The light is in me."
To capture in words the living world-Guillen invented an original poetic speech, the language of
precise ecstasy."
The space of horses
Grazing the meadow -of the sky
Poet of felicity
Friday, August 30, 2024
JUST THE PAIN
JUST THE PAIN OF IT
Just the pain of being a foreigner
Made me a writer
Just the pain of being an immigrant
Made me a writer
Just the pain of being alone
Made me a writer
Just the pain of not being part of my culture
Made e a writer
Just the pain f never seeing my parents
Made me a writer
Just the pain of exclusion
Made me a writer
Just the pain of ridicule
Made me a writer
Just the pain of being an outsider
Made ne a writer
Just the pain of history
Made ne a writer
Just the pain of knowledge of that history
Made me a writer
Just the pain of my insignificance
Made e a writer
Just the pain of loss of life
Made me a writer
Just the pain of truth
Made me a writer
Just the pain of me telling the truth abruptly
Made me a writer
Just the pain of Palestine
Made e a writer
Oh! GAZA, you made me a writer
Just the pain of so many children of GAZA
Made me a writer...
Now I am a writer...
I was a children doctor before
Now the murder of children
Oh! so many children
So many children
Made me a writer....
Tuesday, August 20, 2024
A FAINT SADNESS
A FAINT SADNESS
"A faint sadness has remained in me
since I was 18.
(To be typed later, it's already hand written
but I can't type it right now...I will cry...
and I have been crying since you left me.)
SINGING BIRD CONTINUES
SINGING BIRD CONTINUES
Hear the singing bird sing.
Long ignorant journey of the past
Hear the singing bird sing
Singing bird continues.
FIBER
FIBER
Legumes
Whole grains
Nuts
Chick peas
Beans
Seeds
Flak seeds
Chia seeds
Veges
Broccoli
Fruits
Strawberries
Raspberries
Blue berries
Steal cut oats
Black beans
Quinoa
Oats...
Avocado
Apples with skin
Almonds
THE BLIND MUSICIAN
THE BLIND MUSICIAN
The blind musician
And his blind wife
On an old boulevard
Standing on the corner
The blind musician played
Melodious tunes...
His blind wife
Holding a long stick
And a small jar
In her hand
For contributions
From strangers
Passing by...
What touched me the most
Was the melody
The blind man created
Without ever knowing
What was happening
Around him...
People passin by
People eating
People drinking
People fighting
People shopping
Homeless begging
Sick people dying...
Blind man created his melody
Without ever encountering
The ugly part of life.
Stranger passing by...
Strangers like me
Passing by ...
On that biulevard
Fascinated and exhusted
By hordes of human beings
Creating some kind of
A bizarre festival...
But the thing which
Touched ne the most
Was the melody created by the
Blind musician..
His soothing, lamenting song
And his blind wife
his flute
With joy over her husband
Playing the flute...
So fascinating was the sound
That the whole history
Of that historical town
Evaporated in the air
Except the sound of his flute
That lamenting sound
Spread all over the Bosphorous straigt
Like the perfume of Arabia...
RED SNEAKERS
RED SNEAKERS
These red torn sneakers
Walked with e
Walked miles
Towards your grave.
They wanted to be comfortable
Though old and torn...
So, I could walk
Miles towards your grave.
Monday, August 12, 2024
GET UP
GET UP
Get up from this chair and do something
Something?
Yes, something
Something?
Yes, i said, get up from this chair and do something
I don't know the meaning of that something you want me to do
Something, do something
Define that something you want me to do.
You define something for your self, it's your life
I thought we were lovers amd my life was your life
You must be joking
I go jogging
I go to the gym
I go to the bars
I go to the beach
Alone?
You go alone to all those somethings you do without me?
Yes, because you are glued to the chair. you don't get up.
Make me get up.
I can't do that
Why not?
Because we are lovers.
Not any more...
I have to go.
My lover is waiting for me to go jogging with him/her
Oh! we are not lovers any more.
You never got of that fucking chair...
SHE CALLED ME YESTERDAY
SHE CALLED ME YESTERDAY
I didn't pick up
She didn't leave a message
Now I think it was a mistake
She called by mistake
But the phone kept ringing
Ringing and ringing
Can a mistake be so long?
What could have been her message?
I wonder...
Apology perhaps...
She was abusive to me
Out of no where, she one day called me and abused me
It was early in the morning...
I was still asleep...
She woke me up and abused me...
I became insomniac after that
What would have happened if I picked up the phone?
It would be a golden chance for her to abuse me again in the future
My insomnia would have been un-controlable.
SAD AFTERNOON
SAD AFTERNOON
Like evry afternoon
like every after noon
It's been a while
Since the happy afternoon left me
Now, it's a sad afternoon
Every afternoon.
LIFE
LIFE
Life consists of days, evenings, nights
All un planned, unknown, destructive, wasteful broken glass
Can't gather them
My hands bleed
Nothing changes
Because I don't change
I don't know how to change.
My will is fragmented
Can't gather them
My hands bleed
Blood frighten me
I have been frightend since i was a little girl.
Shards of
Future
Future
You should have always lived in the future.
Look what your past did to you.
Yes,
Sorrow was always of my past and now the loss of him leaving has added
incredible sorrow to my past. Now he is my past, and thus an addition to my etrnal sorrow.
Futre was never for me.
The pain of the past never left me alone
Now it's too late.
Sorrow has increased 10 folds, no 100 folds, no 1000 folds.
'SORROW.'
"SORROW."
"Why do you have so much sorrow?
He is alive"
"Sorrow of the past."
"Now he is gone."
'Now I have more sorrow,"
'Sorrow of the past. Now he has also become my past."
Thursday, May 30, 2024
DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT TOWARD CERTAIN PEOPLE AND THEIR DECEPTION.
DEEP DISAPPOINTMENT TOWARD CERTAIN PEOPLE AND THEIR DECEPTION.
MAY 20th, 2024
Today is the day when suddenly everything was revealed to me
How deceptive and deceitful those people were!
I was saddened to learn the facts...
Because I happened to like them.
Most of the time I have been impulsive about people,
Especially the new people I meet and like them or want to like them...
I have realized that I, must suffer from loneliness here...
I come form a big, passionate, impulse family. We talk and complain and talk some
more and complain some more and laugh and laugh...so my first impulse is to make friends with
strangers in a hurry, not with all the strangers, some I won't imagine seeing again or running
into them but some strangers who intrigue me on the very first encounter, something about them,
the way they talk, they way they walk, the way they dress...
I get an impulse to meet again so, I might have some new friends.
But the real problem is I am showing too much affection too soon.
Some of them especially in this so called modern, lonely and suspicious society
they get alarmed, because they are not used to the sincere, rapid and enthusiastic
affection ever in their isolated lives. It's the cultural difference.
I am of a different culture, vibrant and noisy with chatter and hospitality.
I have lived here very long time but somehow can't change my nature.
But change I must. Every time I regret being so loving for no reason to every Tom Dick or Harry
Thinking that they might be different than the one's i got hurt by...
But can't abandon my nature completely.
It's also being a very social person i have a disadvantage here.
People are very careful here and it's a good idea to be careful but I think
sometime they are too distant as if they are afarid, afraid of the, "Other." the one looks
"Different." from them as if that person is somehow dangerous.
That's very very sad. I didn't know that part of the culture otherwise I might not have come here.
But everyone have a kind of dream of adventure and I was a very dreamy person.
In my dreams I meet beautiful places, beautiful people, full of enthusiasm of meeting
and getting to know someone different from another far away culture.
But after living here for so long my dreams have taken a different shape.
I am often being chased by men with daggers, guns and big knives...
Some of them are accompanied by big ferocious dogs.
I am afraid of big dogs. My. fear has intensified by watching the demise of
Abu Gharib prison where Iraqi soldiers were hung upside down with their
faces covered, hand cuffed and being thrown at horrendously dangerous dogs
biting their legs...
It's sad that we some how unknowingly abandoned our homes, our families, our language
without ever anticipating that this is how it will end up...
Our existence in a tiny apt with four walls made of sheet rock, creating
constant fear of fire, no courtyard, no verandha, no sehen, no sun, no heat
and no family to love and fight with and share everything and that laughter?
We for sure lost our laughter, loss of our extremely humerous language, punjabi,
Urdu, our ghazals, our naat khooani, our musheras...no great food, no company for breakfast, lunch or
dinner, no clean looking beggars saying a prayer for you after you help them, no children running
around
and laughing freely, un-afraid enjoying the heat of the sun...
And when we meet someone we like and try to exchange contacts, they think
we are suspects...can you imagine human beings being afraid of other human beings?
The government here also think that we are suspects so they drop bombs to kill
people, our people, our families, our neighbors, our children, our friend...
All suspects who were born where the oil is, where this country's economic interests are,
where the strategic location is perfect for occupations...bombs must be dropped on those
locations to get rid of the suspicious people who were born there, who breathed till yesterday
who are no more, neither their houses, neither their children...all gone.
Here, if one dare to express these thoughts, these uncomfortable feelings,
people politely and some time not so politely say, "Why don't you go back home?"
Let me tell you, we have no homes any more. All demolished, everyone got killed
including the resources to survive. Our countries are now, Khunders, (Ruins)
Curious people of the West should go as tourists to see the ruins, like the ruins
of Pompei...
Just yesterday people, human beings lived here but in a few seconds the land became
a huge ruin. Tourists will love it.
Why did we come here? It was a mistake. We had no idea that we were making a mistake
and we had no idea that mistake would have enormous punishment.
So obviously a person like me still naive and trusting would be hungry for friendship in a hurry...
and that's the problem...
"The person you are seeking to give your affection, time, company, conversations,
question silently or complain to their friends, "This strange person i
encountered recently seems extremely needy, man! she send me nice loving messages about
meeting for lunch or a drink...I wonder why? I only fucking met her once...
what does she need from me? Connections I am sure, that must be it.
Maybe she is a stalker..."
Oh! gee, that's their favorite word, "Stalker." and that word really disgusts me, scare me too.
That's one thing i would detest, Stalking someone? give me a break. No one is worth
stalking...how dare they think that I need something from them or i might be a,"STAlKER"
Give me the shivers. They are not worth a dime for me to stalk them.
And do i need something from them? what am I going to need from them?
A drink?
lunch?
A coffee?
A theater ticket?
A museum ticket?
An invitation to a gallery opening?
A pair of shoes?
A dress?
A pair of pants?
A scarf?
A book?
A part in a play?
GIVE ME A FUCKING BREAK.
Do you know how many lunches and dinners i have eaten with my husband
and my extended family?
Do you know how much coffee i have drank in fancy cafe's?
Do you know how many clothes, how many shoes, how many books I have?
All those things are crowding my apt, my memory, my work, my thoughts?
My time spent on thinking about how to get rid of them?
Do I need those things from a stranger I just met? Maybe I just wanted to talk or have a glass of wine
and liked him/her and want to have a glass with a new potential friend.
of course going fucking Dutch, oh! how people from my culture hate that word, that
cheap, un-classy, un-sophisticated, miserly word, "GOING DUTCH."
Oh! go to hell, go Dutch by yourself...
So, why do you do it? Why do you want to be a friend of a stranger you just met?
Because he or she, mostly him, women are being more difficult now, with their political correctness
and everything else. Everything has becomes politically correct.
But I was saying why do I want to meet that stranger again ?
Because he fascinated me somehow. Is there something wrong with being fascinated by someone
who might be still fascinating in this stuffy, calculating, doubtful and miserably lonely world.
But let's decide never to reach any person you meet no matter how fascinating they
might seem to you. Maybe it's all fake, maybe they don't think you are fascinating
yourself?
But hey! that's not possible. There is no one who is more intriguing than me.
That's for sure. I assure you, you won't meet anyone more fascinating than me.
You want conversation?
I am the one to converse with
You want to go out to eat?
I am the one with the knowledge of all the fancy restaurants in town
You want to talk about the war?
Please! don't start...it won't ever end from my side...
You want to talk about ethnocentric western world?
I am there for months...i won't shut up.
You want to know something about theater?
You for sure got the right person to talk to...
You want to know about playwriting? or directing? or acting? or the lights? or the
sound? or how to fucking get the audience in the theater? how to be abused by the
un-professional so called actor, how to be shut out of the theater if you make a huge mistake
of giving your play to another director...man, that's the biggest mistake of your
life, bigger than sending a messages to the stranger you just met.
Do you want to know about writers?
Oh! do I know the writers? They are my life long friends...
Baudelaire
T. S. Elliot
Beckett
Pinter
Tennessee Williams
Victor Hugo
Balzac
Flaubert
Emerson
Edgar Allan Poe
Marguerite Duras
Mupassant
Sartre
Rimbaud
Ghalib
Allama Iqbal
Minto
Edward Said
Montaigne
Valery
Gogol
Pushkin
Oscar Wilde
Samuel Jhonson
Do you want to have literary Conversations?
Do you want to have humorous Conversations?
You are welcome
But alas! you suspect every one
You think every one is needy
You think people are stalking you
Oh! what a shame...
Let me make it very clear, (like Biden says)
Let me make it very clear, "No red line has been crossed." Thousands upon thousands have been
murdered by his weapons but, "No red line has been crossed." "Bravo Biden, Bravo."
Let me make it very clear to any stranger I met and liked and sent a message showing interest
in having a coffee, (Dutch) was not of any need or desire to stalk, it was just to have future friendship, maybe? I say maybe? I say, maybe? Because it's a busy money making world. But I need not a dime from this person or any persons I have known for a some time time and liked them. I just found out on this day of May 24/2024, how deceptive and deceitful she turned out to be...while I just thought she was a nice person and i was quite nice to her, but she couldn't wait to show her true self which is in many cases is phony and shady and full of deceit and cunningness.
No more excitement about meeting a stranger or for the one's i have known for a long time.
Time to be completely aloof, distant and alone.
SARTRE and T.S. ELLIOT ABOUT BOUDELAIRE
SARTRE AND T.S. ELLIOT ABOUT BOUDELAIR
SARTRE: "Forever the accomplished architect of his own ruin."
T.S.ELLIOT: "Mullish determination to make the worst of everything."
BRECHT: " When he laid his hands upon the age-it resulted in his own
self-strangulation, his tongue-tossed to the dogs."
BOUDLAIRE: "BELGIUM DISROBED
BOUDELAIRE: "BELGIUM DISROBED"
As Boudlaire said about Belgians.
"A Belgian can not get it through his skull that a man
might praise another man for entirely disinterested reasons."
Walter Benjamin about Boudelaire
"Secret discontent of his class with its own hegemony."
" A QUOTE FROM, PAUL LYNCH'S AMAZINGLY HAUNTING BOOK,"PROPHET SONG."
"PIERCING AND SUDDEN IRRUPTION OF WAR ENTERING FREELY INTO THOUGHT."
From Paul Lynch's great book, "Prophet Song."
Haven't written any thing for months. Since this Gaza war started.
Everything has created a tight knot in the brain and soul, unable to untie it to
start something co-herent, something less heart breaking, something which will make sense,
but every morning, every night the knot keeps getting tightened, need sharp cissors to just
cut it out, since can't untie it. Emotions are bundled up, where to begin? from 100 years ago?
or from Oct 7?
Or from time of the prpphet Mohammad? or the Iraq war of 1991?
Or the Iraq war of 2003?
Or the Afghan war which lasted 20 years? or the Iranian revolution? Or the birth of Israel stae?
Or the massacre of millions of muslims over the centuries? Or just deal with the current Gaza war?
Gaza war where thousands upon thousands of children are murdered...maimed...hungry...starving?
Where to begin? what to write? How to explain your history of colonization?
Of hatred towards you and your religion? How to mourn? How to deal with so much grief? so much
injustice? How to have a decent debate of history? How to remind them of context of history?
How to sleep under the constant shadow of death? How to hear the cries of mothers whose children's
bodies are melting right infront of them in minutes before they themselves melt into the flames of war?
How to rest? How to sleep? How to wake up? and then what to do, from where to begin?
hat to say about the pain and grief of human suffering? which words will be able to portray the loss, the
horror, the danger, the clouds of bombs raining down more death and more death on the innocent
children? innocent women? innocent men? bombs destroying their history, their archives, their
hospitals, their schools, their culture. their mosques, their scholars, their poets, their teachers, their
schools, their journalists, their doctors, their nurses, their shops, their food, their medicine...
Can there be a name given to this utter and complete horror? A title? An atrocity? A mass murder? A
massacre? A genocide?
Can't decide what to call it? Can't find a title...
And if there is no title, there is no article can be written, no essay, no poem, no play...
Just nothing....nothingness...
"CAUGHT IN SUDDEN NOTHINGNESS." To quote again from Paul Lynch's book, PROPHET SONG
Tuesday, May 21, 2024
ABSENCE
ABSENCE
Not the temporary absence
But the permanent one
Can't complain
Who are you going to complain to?
To the one gone?
To God?
No one...
Can't delete that absence
And fill it with something else
Something else?
Something else, whatever that
something else may be...
Go to the cafe?
Go to the theater?
Ok, do theater?
Go for a walk
Go to the cinema
Are these the real fillers of that eternal absence?
Where ever you go
Whatever you do
You take your mind, your soul and heart
with you...
And that's where the absence lies...
WORDS OF PAUL LYNCh''S BEAUTIFUL AND SAD BOOK. PROPHET SONG.
"The world pass by in strange pretense."
"Hearing the thinking mind."
"The charge is cowardice and falsehood."
"Everything in this world is but a shadow."
"An ache at the base of my skull."
'Static silence."
"Darkness of rain."
"A mercilessness which belongs not to the dogs but to the wolfs."
"She finds herself softly crying."
"This sudden sorrow."
"You can not put a stop to the wind."
"Caught in sudden nothingness."
"This tiredness throughout his body."
"A nothing month giving giving to a nothing year."
"Shadow and disorder."
"The house of memory."
"Turn to look and meet your grief."
"No longer know who I am, we are."
"Animals in docile servitude to the needs of the body."
"Watching and waiting for facts to come."
"History is the law of force."
"History is the silent record of people who couldn't leave."
"Map out of this please."
"The mind has drifted slowly into absence"
"Piercing and steady irruptions of war entering
freely into thought."
"Death awaits with open arms all over the city."
"The death that waits to be let drop from the sky."
"You need to spit it out."
FROM PROPHET SONG BY PAUL LYNCH.
Wednesday, February 14, 2024
GHASSAN KANAFANI
GHASSAN KANAFANI
A GREAT LATE PALESTINIAN WRITER.
"OPPRESIVE LONELINESS"
"CLOSED LIKE THE LINING OF SNAIL ARRESTED."
"INTROVERTED."
"THIS GAZA WAS MORE CRAMPED THAN THE MIND OF A SLEEPER IN THE TROTHES
OF A FEARFUL NIGHTMARE."
HIS NOVEL, MEN IN THE SUN.
"DEFEATIST
DESPAIR
PASSIVITY."
AL-MAKHDUN , A FILM BY TEWFIK SALEH?
"RUBBLE OF MEMORY."
"A LETTER FROM GAZA"
Well being
WELL BEING
HAIR:
BIOTIN
IRON
ZINC
FOLIC ACID
GENTLE SHAMPOO
AVOID BLOW DRYER
AVOID DYES
BRUSH GENTLY
BUY SOFTER HAIR BRUSH
FOOD WHICH HAS IRON
DRIED BEANS
DRIED FRUIT
APRICOT
PRUNES
RAISINS
EGGS
LEAN RED MEAT, LIVER, OYSTERS, SALON, TUNA, WHOLE GRAIN,IT C
POTATOES
STRAWBERRIES
TOMATOS
TOFU
MASSAGE HAIR WITH TEA TREE OIL,PUMPKIN SEED OIL
ROSEMARY OIL. BEFORE BED TIME.
AVOID EMOTIONAL AND PHYSICAL STRESS BY DOING THINGS ENJOYABLE TO YOU
1:READ BOOKS
2: WRITE
3: DRAW
4: PERFORM
5: TRY TO BE SOCIAL
6: GO TO A PLACE YOU LIKE TO READ. ST AMBROISE...LAFYETTE
7: LIBERINE BOOK STORE ON 5TH AVE AND 80 ST.
8: MET
9: DISCOVER NEW AREAS, NEW PLACES TO GO TO
10: DRESS BETER
11: TRY TO BE HAPPY
12: DON'T TAKE THE TEASING SERIOUSLY
Subscribe to:
Posts (Atom)