Wednesday, May 25, 2022

P0ETRY, OBSERVATIONS, PERFORMANCE PIECES

 POETRY, OBSERVATIONS, VIGNETTE"S, PERFORMANCE PIECES

BY

BINA SHARIF


IRRESISTABLE LONGING

Longing to to talk to my brother Arshad...

To see his face...

To see his charming smile

To laugh

To laugh together

To gossip

To drink champaign

To drink champaign together...

To eat fish cakes from Citerella. 

To walk...

Go for long walks...

To travel to our country...

To eat paratha...

Together again

To be happy again...


YOU

Don't need them.

I can go to Balthazar alone

To Rockway beach

To lafyette

To laudree

To Saint Ambrose

To Bam

To public theater

To Broadway

To the ferry

To Lincoln Center

To the Met

To Moma

To Rockway beach

By the ferry

To Williamsburgh

To Dumbo

Why must I need you?

Why must I think of you?

Why?

Why?

But I do....


PARROT/ TOTA

I need a bird

The bird I can talk to...

A bird who will talk back to me...

I need a TOTA

A PARROT

I will say, "Hello" Are you happy?"

And Tota will say, "Hello, are you happy?"

I will say, "Are you hungry?"

Tota will say, "Are you hungry?"

Tota never asks questions ...

Tota just repeat what you say...

Unlike people...

Who starts to Interogate you like you are in a court and all of them are prosecuters...

And your defence lawyer is late...

He tells you, "Don't answer any questions till I come."

But he is always late...

So after so many questions being asked by the so called friends

Who are now licensed prosecutors, and the defence lawyer is missing...

One wonders...

Why not look for just one more friend, a brand new friend?

A TOTA...

PERFECT.

I just need a TOTA in my life...

No one else...

Absolutely...

No need of any one argumentative...

Are we under a criminal law suit?

"Were you ever criminally charged for anything?"

God forbid...

I am not Kevin Spacey...

'I am under oath and I tell you again and again,"

"The truth and nothing but the truth, so help me god.

I have never abused any one, psychologically, physically, verbally

and especially sexually, No, never...I haven't even masterbated

in my own bed or in my own bathroom.

So why, whenever I am with my so called friends, they instantly

become prosecutors and the cafe asumes the atmosphere of a court room

where I am the victim being asked all kinds of questions?

"Darling, you are in America and we are a system of question

and answer session during our happy hour of seeing friends,

and if you are not used to being questioned and here in our

country every question must be answered, that's the law...

You are under oath, don't purjur yourself...and ruin our happy hour as well.

Your utmost obedience is required. Cheers!"

"Oh! gee, i didn't know that I took an oath to become 

an American citizen to be permanently in a court room

as a criminal..."

 "I don't go for happy hour or any other fun sharing

activity with friends any more..."

'Need to be alone...to breath on a park bench.

And come back home to my TOTA

"Are you hungry?"

I askk my beautiful TOTA."

And the TOTA says,

"Are you hungry?"

"I am going to cook something delicious for you."  I say

"I am going to cook something delicious for you." Tota says.

BUT TOTA NEVER COOKS...NEVER QUESTIONS, JUST 

REPEATS WHATEVER I SAY. SO COMFORTING...

TOTA IS MY BEST FRIEND NOW. I LOVE MY TOTA

 



Wednesday, May 18, 2022

PAIN, TREMENDOUS PAIN: THE STORY OF PAIN

 PAIN, TREMENDOUS PAIN: THE STORY OF PAIN


DO NOTHING BUT EXPRESS YOUR PAIN

DON'T DENY YOUR PAIN

YOU CAN'T

YOU WILL PERISH

OF THAT PAIN

ACCEPT ONE SOLITARY

FACT

THAT THERE IS PAIN

TREMENDOUS PAIN

HEART BREAKING

SOLITARY

PAIN...

YOU WANT TO LIVE A FEW MORE

DAYS?

EXPRESS YOUR PAIN

OTHERWISE

SUPPRESSION

OF THAT PAIN

OLD AND NEW

IN YOUR LIFE

NEW AND OLD

YOUR PAIN

BEGGING YOU

TO EXPRESS IT...

WRITE YOUR PAIN

DRAW YOUR PAIN

SING YOUR PAIN


TELL YOUR STORY

TELL THE STORY OF PAIN

YOUR PAIN

PAIN HAS ACKNOWLEDGED

THAT IT'S YOURS.

IT'S YOUR SILENT COMPANION

TELL THE STORY OF YOUR COMPANION

OF YOUR OTHER HALF...


TELL PEOPLE

EVEN THE HAPPY PEOPLE...

THE STORY

THE ULTIMATE STORY

WRITE THE STORY

DRAW THE STORY

THAT'S ALL YOU CAN DO

NOW...

RIGHT NOW...


TILL A NEW STORY OCCUPIES

YOUR HEART

YOUR SOUL

YOUR LIMBS


YOUR ACHE IS THE STORY

VERY TENDER

VERY SAD

VERY SORROWFUL


PEOPLE DON'T WANT TO HEAR

THE STORY OF PAIN

FORGET ABOUT

PEOPLE...

PEOPLE ALWAYS

"KILL THE BEAUTY IN THINGS..."

AS KHALIL GIBRAN SAID.


Friday, March 25, 2022

GRIEF, NOT A VERY PLEASING WORD

GRIEF, NOT A VERY PLEASING WORD FOR OTHERS TO HEAR. 

THEY SAY, "MOVE ON."

MOVE ON?

MOVE ON TO WHERE?

MOVE ON TO WHAT?

MOVE ON TO MORE HEARTACHE?

MOVE ON TO THE SAME MEANINGLESS DAY?

MOVE ON TO THE MUNDANE?

MOVE ON TO ISOLATION?

MOVE ON TO MORE DESPERATION?

MOVE ON TO THE INDIFFERENCE OF PEOPLE?

YES, PLEASE MOVE ON FROM THE INDIFFERENCE OF PEOPLE.

YES, PLEASE MOVE ON FROM PEOPLE

YES, PLEASE MOVE ON FROM ALL THE PEOPLE

YES, I SAID, ALL THE PEOPLE...

NO EXCEPTIONS.

ALL MEANS ALL...

 

Tuesday, January 4, 2022

WRITINGLIFE

 WRITINGLIFE

"It required much longer streches of being alone

with myself to write." ?

"Shut out the world to be restored." ?

"The vice of living in two worlds at once."?

'I made little or no effort to keep up with others,

it being no concern of mine what went in this realm of make believe." ?

Everything is a make believe to help whoever is making the scenario.

"Keep a straight face and pretend."?

"Don't give away your essential self to anything

or to anyone...

Keep that for yourself only. 

You can think it but but don't talk it." ?

'The only thing free in this world is your private thinking,

which is never shared with anyone." ?

" End of the story.

The story doesn't end.

This kind of story never ends.

It's an epic.

It goes on and on but assumes a different shape.

This kind of story doesn't end." ?

"That persecution, that oppression, huanting impressions." ?

"Perpetual themes which I care about." ?

"You give public only a tiny essence of your inner melody." ?

"Inner turmoil in my deportment." ?

"But I never did like cunning people in any form or shape

and this sounds cunning to me."?

"Once in a great while I came across a being whom I felt I could

give myself completely.  Alas! these beings existed only in books."  Henry Miller

Thats what I never understood- as Henry Miller says, 

"Reveal your true self and they will mutilate you."

I guess it meant, not only people I have been calling my friends but the world.

"I used to think that to be a great artist you have to tell the truth,

but I guess to be great- you have to hide the truth." ?

"There is a language in my heart which is so simple, so direct, so transparent-that words

were useless, that language didn't exist-so no one ever heard it." Henry Miller

"Language of clamor and tumult-the hearts clamor-the hearts tumult." Henry Miller

"And you can tell how long America had been in denial-what's happening now-

has been happening before- the violence, the brutality, the aggression, the persecution,

the oppression, just the new groups of people have been assigned the role."  Henry Miller

There is no one here-especially who cares for your pain or even understands it- so why express it? BS

Keep silent

less troubling

less painful-

and even if you speak- what's there to say which hasn't been said before?

Which is new for you to say and for them to hear... BS

"What is left unsaid-has the power.  BS

Finally after a struggle of months-I found a home, a kind of comfortable office for work-

I feel comfortable here- it's a secret of mine, the place and it's location but it's on Lafyette Street. BS

"Mute and motionless-drifting with steller flux completely oblivious to everything."  Henry Miller

"I not only invented the characters and events, I acted them out.' Henry Miller

"Just two or three hours of steady -work a day one could write the thickest book imaginable."

 Annonymous

"Two hours before dawn when the mind is fresh and the rest of the day to one-self."  Remy-de Gourmont

'The artist should become aware of higher order of things to recognize by the compulsive and

spontaneaus manipulation of his own impulses, the resemblence between human creation and what's

 called divine."   Annonymus study, to open up and in the process of

"Two to three hours regularly -every day of one's life- that its possible for a man to read virtually

everything of value which has ever been written, two hours before dawn when the mind is fresh

and the rest of the day to one-self."  Remy de- Gourmont

'remarks which can be annoying, racists even-but actually they say things out of their ignorance

plus their lack of curiosity to learn, to study, to open up-- and in the process of being with them

I waste my life force and what are you without your life force?  Do not spend time with such people-

and if you have to-stay neutral- passionless, just hi, hi, hi kind of conversation." BS

"He has to make himself a part of the mystery, live in it-as well with it."  Annonymous

"It's all play invention." ??

"Pain is not a pleasure but its a source to setting down in words mysteries of impulsion-compulsion-

propulsions," ?

"A desperate woman seeking through love to unite herself with herself." ?

"Every knock is a boost." ?

"You get strong by pushing again the force which is fighting you." ?

"Nature of destiny." ?

"No one is more helpless than the heroic individual." Henry Miller

"I am neither in favor or against any politician or any other leader.

By favoring them, I won't get anything or get anywhere-and by being against them

-I won't get anything or get anywhere.  I rather save my life force, my energy"   "BS

"From truth he passed to imagination and from imagination to invention- at this last

portal (invention) through which there is no return- fear beset him to venture farther was to 

wander alone, to relly wholly upon oneself." Annonymous

"Truth-imagination-invention-fear (to get out of it or to go forward) alone-relly upon oneself."  ?

"Miasma of folly, ignorance and greed. the world has to be put in order," ?

"It's for us to put ourselves in unison with some order." ?

"Acquire vision-discipline-forbearance."  ?

"Love is what life is about and they didn't do their job and life remained incomplete." ?

"You have to find a way to free yourself." B

"PERFECT STRANGER"

"Be cold and be tough."

Nothing else works.

 Nothing else has worked. 

'Nothing else will work."

"Nothing else is working."

Be tough

How many times you want me to tell you that?

Be very tough.

Tougher than all of them."

"And be cold."

"Not be cold, cold, freezing cold but cold towards people, all people."

 "Yes, all people, all of them, yes, I said, all of them.

"Did you not hear me?

Be distanced and cold towards people, yes cold, towards people."

"All the people, all the time."

How many times do you want me to tell you?

Are you stupid or something?

"Are you deaf and dumb?

Are you ignorant of the culture?

Their culture is cold, cold, like ice, cold, cold.

Colder than even the coldest possible ice.

Colder than the snow...

Colder than ice coffee with tons of more ice cubes in it on a coldest possible day.

The snow and ice has accumulated in their hearts...in all hearts, foreign and domestic.

In their mind...

In their kidneys...

In their liver

In their lungs...

In their muscles and bones..

They can't be warm towards you even if they try and they don't try...

They can't try to be warm because they are cold...

You understand me?

No, you don't. I can tell.

You are looking at me in such amazement as if trying to solve a puzzle.

But there is no puzzle...

They are cold.

That's it.

Cold like ice.

Their hearts are cold...

Can't warm up.

There is no heating system invented to warm a cold heart.

Not enough hot coco or bourben shots...

Stop expecting warmth from cold people.

It's not going to come your way...

Just stop expecting.

How long are you going to expect blood from a stone?

Are you stupid or something?

I thought you were educated.

Are you educated?

Did you go to school?

Did you go to college?

Did you go to university?

Don't tell me that you did...

If you did, then you wasted your money, your parents money and learnt nothing.

Let me tell you one more time.

No one is going to love you here...

No one, period.

They are not even going to think about you.

And why should they?

You are a stranger

A total stranger.

They don't know you.

And even if they did, they won't be warm towards you.

Why?

She says, "WHY?"

Because honey, they are cold

Cold and tough

And you?

Yes, you seeking love, seeking attention...

Bubbling with warmth, bubbling with the heat, heat of the oven, heat of lava...

You are pushing your warmth upon them for no good reason.

They are comfortable being cold. It's good for sleep.

They sleep soundly.

You are too hot.

Hot during the day, hot during the night.

The heat iches you, you scratch and scratch while they are sound asleep...

They are not aware of your burning warmth...

And even if they were, they don't want it.

They are comfortable the way they are.

Why don't you just give up?

"Give up?"

Yes, give up and save your heat of passion for a project.

"A project?"

Yes, a project- that would interest them. They are familiar with the word, "PROJECT."

They will pay attention...

It's a good word, the project.

Has lots of possibilitis...

Profit possibilities...

And the one which will

make you seem very important in the world.

Constantly looking for people to be warm towards you is a total lack of self respect

and is a sign of failure.

Cold cultures, cold climates, cold people are inventive because they are not wasting time looking for

 people, useless warm people to be lovely towards them.

And what for?

For the last time in this late moment in time, you have to learn 

from a well wisher to think of your self and not about cold and tough people...

Forget about them. Leave them alone. People don't want to be bothered.

Relax, eat your soup, it's getting cold and you don't like cold things...

Do you? 

You don't, I know that.

So don't waste another second of your time,  the most valuable of all things on this palnet.

Save your time, for yourself. That would be your success. Time,  the hours and minutes are your gems

 and pearls and topaz,

Save them for your self.

It will bring you a lot of benefit and one day you will thank me...

Be tender, be warm towards your self and towards your own time.

Don't expect warmth from cold people, from cold mountains, from cold success.

Give your warmth to your own time and save a fortune, a reward in the shape of rubies and diamonds.

Save your fortune.

Didn't Racine, that great French writer said something like this, 

"It's a pity that you waste so much time on trifles."

If not from me, at least learn something from Racine., you the stranger...the, perfect stranger.
















Sunday, January 2, 2022

FACEBOOK DIARY

 FACEBOOK DIARY

The posts from facebook would be turned into a new one woman play

A play of different posts written at different times

All of them have some kind of relevance at the time of the month or the year or the week

This way the diary might not be in alphabeticl order...

it will be just the posts in the form of monologues, fragments, thoughts, commentry on the events of that

 particular time or happenings during that time.

The play would be comprised of exactly as the posts were written

Sad, happy, joyful, painful, dissatisfaction, remorse, regrets, achievements, lack of them, anger, hurt

An excercise of expression, instantaneous expression, impulsive expression, funny expression, 

Satirical expressions, words, words, words... geography of words, situation of words, difficult, heart

 breaking words, silently moving, dancing, singing words, kind words, sorroful words, honest words,

Words, words, words.

Thursday, August 5, 2021

"AS IF SOME PAIN WAS DEADENED." DURAS

 " AS IF SOME PAIN WAS DEADENED."

"I WOULD FORCE MYSELF TO WANT SOMETHING, HOWEVER HARD IT MIGHT BE." 

 DURAS

"LOVE":   BS

She was quite miserable and nasty with him

And he was willing to tolerate all that in the name of love.

He came across terribly needy

And she seemed un-grateful and unkind towards him though he took care of her single handedly

while she was recovering from all the injuries which she suffered in war zones taking pictures

of others, dead and dying...

The bottom line is that she didn't love him, period.

He needed to understand that and end the relationship

But he didn't...

Because he loved her.

---------------------------------

APATHY:   BS

"I WANT TO BE EXACTLY LIKE EVERYONE ELSE."   DURAS

---------------------------------

"IT'S SO HARD TO FIGHT THE APATHY."    DURAS

-----------------------------------

"TRY TO FIGHT THE APATHY."       BS

Just be more mobile

More social

Go out and be with people or just watch what they do or behave without expectations of

any benefit or any real results.

Go out to events, readings...

Just to be out and about...

Do not expect any kind of favors, help or love

Not even any respect...

You won't find respect...

That's for sure...

The world is too busy for that.

You better respect your self

Every minute, every second, every day of the month, every day of the year.

Just be above your wants and be productive nevertheless.

----------------------------------

MISERABLE:     BS

Many men in NYC looks miserable.

Maybe they are not...

But they look miserable.

Ugly as well...

And so much talk of sex is around...

Who wants to have sex with them?

Maybe that's the reason women have started to make their own choices to be with their own sex.

------------------------

TALKING AND LISTENING:   BS

I don't want to see people any more

Because I like to talk and they don't listen.

They are mostly pre-occupied with themselves and with their phones...

I do theater

In theater, you have to talk and you have to listen...

You can keep looking at the screen of your phone and not listen what another actor is saying

But that scene will last for a very short time

Unless the whole play is about peole just staring at their phones for 90 minutes...

and I  haven't seen that play yet.

I can't stand it when people don't listen while someone, their so called friend is talking to them...

neither in person or in the theater. In the theater you would be considered a terrible actor who is ruining

 the scene for the other professional actor as well and thus ruining the entire play.

Life is very much like theater

Only when people are civilized, respectful and enjoyable.

It's very humiliating to go through that when you meet people who are just not interested in you and

 whatever the hell you are saying.

Why meet them?

Thats the most important question...to be asked

Ask yourself before you go out to socialize...

"Are you going to talk while no one is listening?

No. Not if no one is listening.. as  they are  deaf and dumb persons.

No one is listenuing, why are you talking?

I like to talk

Talking to whom?

Them

Them? they are not listening, stop talking...

Should I just sit there as a deaf and dumb person?

Why be there?

That's the question...

Ask yourself that question before you go out to socialize...

That is a very important question

I am right now asking myself

I am asking and I am asking...

And I have decided finally not to go out, not to socialize, not to humiliate myself...

NOT TO GO THROUGH IT. THATS ALL. THATS ALL I HAVE  JUST DECIDED.

---------------------------------

WORK:    BS

If you had a very strong will power and love of your work,

actually respect for your work,

You could live without people for a very long time...

-----------------------------

PEOPLE:    BS

People are not bad

People are nice

People are open to have intersting conversations

People actually have time

People are very intersting ...

WHERE ARE THEY?

------------------------------

CHILDREN:     BS

Children will talk to any one

And are always ready to listen...

---------------------------

CHILDREN IN THE 3RD WORLD COUNTRIES:    BS

Children in the third world countries are freer

than the first world children.

The first world children have been made afraid

of strangers by their parents.

It's very wonderful to protect your children but every one is not a dangerous stranger

But in the first world if any one looks different than the child, that child is afraid of that person

Because he/she was told to be that way.

It's good

and bad

For certain skills to be developed by the child

When he/she become an adult, has fear of everyone who looks different.

In the third world, children talk to people, everyone looks the same,

They play with other children and respond to other children's parents

Most of the families with children know other families with children...

Hot countries, children play in the streets.

Many people are poor and they can't afford luxries

They come out of their poor homes and have fun with orher children...

In the first world, more luxurious living, creates more fear of the poor looking people

And of the one who looks like a stranger especially immigrants who always look like starngers..

Parents have frightened their children of the, "OTHER" 

Everyone is an, "OTHER", "STARNGER" "ODD LOOKING" "DANGEROUS"

Just like the first world govt's and media of the first world has frightened their people

about,  Muslims and their religion...they have labelled them terrorists.

Their children are frightened of everyone.

When they grow up, they decide that everyone else who looks different is inferior, dangerous and to be

 feared. Like their goverment is always afraid of the, "ENEMY" and is willing to eradicate that enemy

at any cost.  Sad! isn't it?  Rich, previliged and afarid.  Poor have nothing to lose. They lost everything

 at their birth.

---------------------------

SOLITARY;     BS

Are people solitary because they have no one to talk to or are they because they don't want to talk to

 anyone?

thus have become solitary?

But the sad thing is that they have no idea that they are solitary.

---------------------------------------

"INVENT:    DURAS

"I invent people and I talk to them.

Since I have no friends--

I invent enemies.

I talk to the enemies.

I insult them."         Margurite Duras

------------------------------

"CONVERSATIONS:    DURAS

"Some times I have conversations on my own---

Not that I talk to myself--

But I imagine people---

I invent people...

I like conversations."      Duras

______________________


"People are not good at happiness."     Duras

"No, I have nothing to go for."             Duras

______________________

"At 6pm--one longs for something."      BS

"Do not agree to do anything every one asks."     ?

"Do not accept all the worst things which come your way."    ?

_______________________

"If you think of other people, that means you have plenty of time

to do that...and it's not the best kind of time."     ??

____________________

"Must persist in this slavery."    Duras

_______________________

"For me the most important thing in the world is to have no controlling person near me...

I hate subservient people and when you are being controlled, you become subservient

and stay that way.

I have experienced that kind of control all my life.

And now I have removed it from my life at the expense of having no career, no money, no social life,

but at least I am not subservient to any one ."

_____________________


"It's all how you frame what you have."

"See possibilities instead of problems."    ?


_____________________-

"TWO MOST IMPORTANT ELMENTS TO LIVE."

POWER

AND

WEALTH

Sexual harrassment?

What?

Where?

When?

In the office silly...

Then what happens?

What happens?

Where?

When?

After sexual harrassment..what happens?

They get caught

And?

They get fired...

And then?

They go out to eat...

They go out to eat at their favorite, elite, rip off, expensive restaurants...

They have millions of dollars...

And then?

Then when?

After they eat at the rip off restaurants?

They go to the Hamptons...

And then?

They do more sexual harrassments...

Wow...

Yes, 

Wow...

POWER OF WEALTH

AND

FAME

TWO MOST IMPORTANT ELEMENTS TO LIVE.... ??

------------------------------

"People are very rushed and standoffish."   Duras

"You want to talk and be listened to so badly

that it can produce a feeling of an illness."    Duras

____________________

"It's not for nothing...

It's strength

 Your inspiration in the past.

Your tremendous work.

It's you who did all that. You forget...but don't.

You are not a strange new person all of a sudden...

You are the same person who did all that...accomplishments in the past are yours and only yours alone.

You are the same person."      BS

______________

"Nothing wrong with the culture---

It's just not mine."               BS

___________________

"HIs wife was Maria

But he was flirting with Claire

What a surprise!"       Duras

"A crime was committed in our town this afternoon."    Duras.





Saturday, July 31, 2021

"I HAVE SUDDENLY BECOME EQUALL TO MY LIFE." DURAS plus, DIALOGUE, A SHORT PLAY BY BS

 "I HAVE SUDDENLY BECOME EQUAL TO MY LIFE."  DURAS and a short play called "Dialogue by BS

 A DIALOUGH, A SHORT PLAY BY BINA SHARIF....Copyright:binasharif 2021

===========================================

A DIALOUGH:   SHORT PLAY

                                 BY

                           BINA SHARIF

copyright:binasharif 2021

-------------------

ZULEKHA:

WHAT SPECIAL MOMENT ARE YOU WAITING FOR TO DO WHAT YOU REALLY WANT?

INJSA:

WAITING TO OPEN THE DOOR

ZULEKHA:

JUST GO AHEAD AND OPEN IT,,,OPEN THE DOOR.

INJSA:

MAYBE TOMORROW...MAYBE TOMORROW?

ZULEKHA:

"HOW CAN YOU BE CHOSEN IF YOU CAN'T MAKE A CHOICE FOR YOURSELF?"  THAT'S

 WHAT MARGUERITE DURAS SAID

INJSA:

I WOULD FORCE MYSELF TO WANT SOMETHING,  HOWEVER HARD IT MIGHT BE"

 THAT'S WHAT MARGUERITE DURAS, SAID AS WELL.

ZULEKHA:

SO ARE YOU GOING TO OPEN THE DOOR?

INJSA:

TOMORROW...MAYBE TOMORROW?

ZULEKHA:

"AS IF SOME PAIN WAS DEADENED."  THAT'S WHAT DURAS SAID.

INJSA;

I NEED TO FIND THAT DEADENED PAIN FIRST BEFORE I OPEN THE DOOR.

PAIN IS THE LOCK,  A VERY HEAVY LOCK ON THE DOOR...

"ZULEKHA:

DO YOU SEE THE DOOR?

INJSA:

YES,  I SEE THE DOOR.  IT'S MY MEMORY.   WHY IS IS IT SO DIFFICULT TO OPEN?

ZULEKHA:

SINCE YOU RECOGNIZED THAT,  IT WOULD BE MUCH EASIER...

INJSA:

I DOUBT IT.  THE PAIN IS TREMENDOUS.  AFTER THE FIRST CRACK, I WILL CLOSE THE

 DOOR SHUT AGAIN...

ZULEKHA:

YOU WILL NEVER HEAL

INJSA:

I DON'T WANT TO.  IF I HEAL,  MY MEMORIES WILL DISAPPEAR.  THEY WILL VANISH.

WHAT WILL I HAVE THEN?

ZULEKHA:

YOU WILL HAVE YOURSELF

INJSA:

WHAT GOOD WILL THAT DO?  I WON'T KNOW WHO I WAS...

ZULEKHA;

YOU NEED TO KNOW WHO YOU ARE INSTEAD OF KNOWING WHO YOU WERE...

INJSA:

I CAN NEVER KNOW WHO I AM WITHOUT KNOWING WHO I WAS?

ZULEKHA;

ONCE YOU WILL UNLOCK THE DOOR,  YOU WILL FIND OUT..

INJSA:

FIND OUT ABOUT WHO I AM?  OR WHO I WAS BEFORE?


ZULEKHA:

YOU WILL FIND OUT EVERYTHING...

MAKE AN EFFORT.

THAT'S ALL YOU HAVE TO DO...

KEEP MOVING TOWARDS THE DOOR...

EVERYTHING ELSE WILL HAPPEN...

INJSA:

I AM SCARED, I AM SO SCARED...

ZULEKHA;

SCARED OF WHAT?

INJSA;

ABOUT FINDING WHAT LIES BEHIND THAT DOOR.

ZULEKHA:

YOU ALREADY KNOW

INJSA:

I DO?

ZULEKHA:

YES.

INJSA:

HOW COME?

ZULEKHA;

THAT'S WHAT YOU ARE AFRAID OF.

INJSA:

AFRAID OF WHAT?

ZULEKHA:

YOU KNOW THE SOURCE OF YOUR FEAR. YOU HAVE ALREADY TOLD ME...

INJSA:

TOLD YOU ABOUT WHAT?

ZULEKHA;

ABOUT YOUR FEAR. YOUR FEAR OF YOUR MEMORIES WHICH ARE LOCKED IN THAT

 ROOM BEHIND THAT HEAVY LOCKED DOOR...

INJSA:

I CAN'T GO THERE...I CAN'T OPEN THAT DOOR,  IT'S TOO HEAVY,  I AM TOO WEAK...

ZULEKHA;

STRENGTH WILL COME TO YOU ONCE YOU START TO MOVE...

INJSA:

AND THEN?

ZULEKHA:

THEN WHAT?

INJSA: 

YES,  EXACTLY. WHAT WILL HAPPEN ONCE I STARTED TO MOVE TOWARDS THE DOOR?

ZULEKHA:

YOUR WHOLE LIFE...YOUR WHOLE LIFE WILL OPEN UP LIKE AN OPEN BOOK...

INJSA:

I DON'T WANT TO EVER OPEN THAT BOOK.

ZULEKHA:

THE BOOK IS ALREADY OPENED. OPENED BY YOUR LIFE'S LONG PAIN WAITING TO BE

 DEALT WITH...

INJSA;

IN-CASE I DON'T WANT TO DEAL WITH IT?

ZULEKHA:

THAT'S THE QUESTION AND YOU HAVE ALREADY ANSWERED IT...

INJSA:

I HAVE NO ANSWERS. THAT'S WHY I SEEKED YOUR HELP.

ZULEKHA;

I CAN'T HELP YOU.  IF IT WAS THAT EASY, I WOULD HAVE OPENED THE DOOR MYSELF

 LONG TIME AGO. EVERYTHING BEHIND THAT LOCKED DOOR BELONGS TO ME AS

 WELL BUT I HAVE BEEN WAITING FOR YOU TO UN-LOCK IT...I SEEM STRONG, I SEEM

 MORE POSITIVE,  MORE HEALTHY BUT THAT'S JUST A FAKE COVER...I AM EXACTLY

 LIKE YOU...SEEKING, DESIRING, WANT TO BE PAIN FREE OF MY MEMORIES WHICH ARE

 YOURS AS WELL...I AM YOUR LONG, LOST SISTER...IT WAS ACTUALLY ME WHO LOCKED

 OUR MEMORIES BEHIND THAT LOCK AND WAS WAITING FOR YOU TO COME ALONG

 AND HELP ME FIND OUT WHAT'S BEHIND MY PAIN. 

INJSA:

OUR PAIN. THAT'S WHAT IS HIDDEN.

OUR COLLECTIVE PAIN IS HIDDEN BEHIND OUR LOCKED DOORS,  DOORS WHICH WILL

 OPEN TO OUR UN-HEALED WOUNDS AND THE WOUNDS WILL BLEED AGAIN AND

 AGAIN AND AGAIN...

ZULEKHA:

PERHAPS I WAS WRONG TO TELL YOU TO OPEN THAT DOOR...

MAYBE NEITHER YOU, NOR I,  SHOULD TRY...

LET'S LEAVE THE PAIN ALONE, THE WOUNDS ALONE, THE SIMMERING SORROW

 ALONE...

LET'S LIE DOWN TO FINALLY REST. I AM SO EXHAUSTED...SO EXHUSTED THAT I CAN

 FINALLY DIE...

INJSA:

CAN I LIE DOWN NEXT TO YOU?  CAN I? 

 I FOUND YOU AFTER SUCH A LONG TIME...

A LONG, LONG TIME...

LET'S LIE DOWNTOGETHER, 

LET'S SLEEP...

 SLEEP TOGETHER IN THE SAME BED...

LIKE WE USED TO DO WHEN WE WERE CHILDREN.

IT'S BEEN A LONG JOURNEY...

A VERY LONG JOURNEY...

LET'S REST..

LET'S REST FINALLY

SLEEP...

LET'S SLEEP....

(They lie down, hug each other tightly, a song they used to listen to when they were children come on, lights slowly fade to black)

BLACKOUT

END OF PLAY