AN HOUR OF FUN WITH KARIMA ULLAH

AN HOUR OF FUN WITH KARIMA ULLAH
(AHOFWKU)

A NEW ONE WOMAN PLAY/SATIRE
BY
 BINA SHARIF

CHARACTER;
KARIMA ULLAH, (A CULTURAL SATIRIST)

AN HOUR OF FUN WITH KARIMA ULLAH IS A SATIRE BASED ON THE
GLOBAL CURRENT EVENTS OF ALL SORTS, CULTURAL,  POLITICAL, SOCIAL, PSYCHOLOGICAL, PHILOSOPHICAL.

 THE PLAY WILL BE UPDATED CONSTANTLY AS THE EVERMORE LASTING  AND DISAPPEARING EVENTS AND NEWS KEEP HAPPENING....

KARIMA ULLAH:

Amazing! Harvey weinstein wants slim, young and beautiful women
to watch him take a shower.  If he was only a bit slimmer then perhaps the
young and aspiring actress will be thrilled by the double prize of getting a part in his movie plus
watching a dazzling, handsome figure of a sexy man over breakfast in a luxurious hotel.
He also want the young and the sexy ladies to choose his wardrobe of the day.  I WONDER WHAT KIND OF EXCITEMENT IS IN THAT?

HIS WIFE SHOULD SELECT THE WARDROBE AND THE ASPIRING ACTRESS SHOULD WACH HIM SHOWER.  Then those offended actress settle for money.
The Manhattan district attorney after hearing the complaints about sexual harasement against Harvey by an Italian actress/model decides not to press charge and the actress/model also takes money and then shut up...

So what are the news trying to tell us?

Is it bad to harass or is it bad to take money and then shut up?

Or is it good to harass and then pay the money to shut them up.

Why is this news being reported ?

What's the result of this news?

Harvey is a sexual harasser but he is sorry.  I guess thats it.  Thats the news guys, thats the news.

Harvey also is a humanitarian and arranges women marches for their rights.

Remember Weiner?

Remember Bill Cosby?

The Las Vagas mass murder:  Investigators are desperate to find a motive for his killing spree.

He is a killer guys.  He is a killer.  His motive was to kill.  Thats the motive.  Ok?

Hijabi monologues:  A show about Hijabi monologues at the Bush theater in London.

How boring, how boring.  Hijab, hijab, hijab.  What else do you want to know?  Its a fucking scarf which covers the woman's head.  OK?  Get over it guys, get over it.  BORING OLD NEWS...
SIXTEEN YEAR OLD NEWS.  HIJAB..PLEASE.  GO WEAR A HIJAB YOURSELF
Oh! you want to know the motive of wearing a hijab?  Go figure....

TRUMP:  Arn't you exhausted Rachel ?  Arn't you exhausted Chris?

Arn't you exhausted O'Donnel?

 Arn't you exhusted Chris Mathew?

Arn't you exhausted NYT? /

Take a rest.  You are giving me a headache.  I need to rest as well.  Between Hijab and MSNBC

I HAVE HAD ENOUGH. nO TV FOR YOU MISS, NO NYT FOR YOU MISS.

DO THE LAUNDRY.  WASH YOUR HAIR.  YOU ARE NOT INTELLECTUAL ENOUGH LIKE THE PEOPLE ON NEWS HOUR............WHAT'S YOUR MOTIVE TO WATCH ALL THESE NEWS?

My motive/

Let me tell you guys.

My motive is to talk about all the things people already know...

like all the lazy actors/comedians/performance artists who can not create a real character

but still call themselves, playwrights/actors/performers

All the lazy people, all the least talented people who repeat what they heard or watched

and get ahead....

Lets get ahead...

Oh! another murder?

Oh! this time is a terrorist.  The last killer was mentally ill.  This one is a terrorist.
He said, Allah ho Akbar before he pulled the triger.  The last one?  Oh! we don't know the motive...
Mental illness maybe?  But we are not sure...

TRUMP; again?

No way...Did he call some one a moron or some one else called him a moron?

What's the motive?

REMEMBRANCE OF A DREAM

REMEMBRANCE OF A DREAM

We were couple of people

Gathered to do some kind of work

Presentation of our individual work

We were performers of some kind

Artists?

Writers?

Visual artists?

But some how involved in the arts...

It seemed like a residency...

Though in my real life

I never go to a residency

I am neither invited nor do I try...

But since it was a dream...

I am there also amongst other so called, "Artists"

What a romantic word

'Artists"

It should be called, "beggars"

'Beggars begging"

Begging for something...

Always begging...

Begging for recognition...

With recognition comes the money

So I guess recognition from some experts is te most Important

But in the dream I must have been somebody to be at the residency...

Or maybe it wasn't a residency at all...

But there was a group and I was part of it.

It seemed like the, "Residency" was over

and we were packing up to leave...

Every one seemed like in every one's way

Some kind of urgency...

I wasn't packed at all...

The entrance to my small room was kind of blocked

A huge motor cycle was at the entrance of my room and it was hard to get inside

I knew I had to get my script together...

I had a script?

I must be a writer of some kind...

Oh1 gee what an honor..

To be a writer and to be at a residency...

Only in your dreams guys...only in your dreams...

So I had to get the pages, which were all scattered on the table

in some kind of order

But there were no page numbers on them

So I just gathered all of them and stuffed them in my carry on...

Now I am out side the room

And trying to get some breakfast...

I see three women already at the breakfast table...

Oh! I say to myself, "OH! they are so together...they have already packed, ready to go"

They must be some bodies, more important somebodies than me....

Thats the whole point of being in the Western civilization

The importance of oneself as a ."Somebody"

If you are a ,"Nobody" then for sure you are a ,"Nobody"

All the people on tv especially on CNN and MSNBC are somebodies

know it all somebodies...

Trashing Trump every fraction of a second...

They know it all.
They are like Shakespeare...

They have knowledge of everything living and breathing and everything dead and gone

They have knowledge of hidden things and the things which are naked

THEY KNOW ABOUT THE BIRDS, THE BEES, THE FRUIT, THE LEAVES, THE SPICES

about the science, politics, espionage, collusion, law, psychology, food, fashion, travel, history,

wars, peace...

No not about PEACE...Only wars and they know about the good and evil

Oh! for sure they know about evil...

Evil is always lurking around their shores...

They are such nationalists, worried, always worried. huffing and puffing...

Some times it seems like they are spitting at me across the tv screen...

I get splashes of split from Chris Mathewe of hard ball and Rachel Meadow

Oh! she is something else...

She is the real expert of animation...

If you turn the sound down, its a great show of arms and hands and facial gestures moving in a

thousand contortions....

Wow, I say...

They must hate Trump...

Understatement of the year...

They should have been  part of the,"artists residency" in my dream.

They seem like the best and the most passionate and dedicated artists...

They are persistent....

And thats a great artist...

In my artists residency I don't even have pages numbered and now can't even get some breakfast

The other ladies from the group are already eating avocado toast with poached eggs on top...

They all eat healthy food to live long enough to get to another residency...

I can't believe that I was also there with all those some bodies....

It had to be a dream.

Yes, I do digress a lot.

Yes, it was a dream.

I am not part of a summer residency

Nor a part of a winter residency...

I am Muslim...

I am not a part of a residency ever...

Muslims are the most hated people on this planet right now.

Even Saudi Arabia has abandoned them.

Now for sure Muslims have no hope

As if they had any hope before...

What a joke

Its a sad joke...a sad joke...

Thats a great title for the next residency..., "A SAD JOKE"

I love titles...

I should make a whole play about titles...

And the main title of the book would be, "A SAD JOKE."

"MUSLIMS! A SAD JOKE"  Thats much better...much much better...

The most sad thing about me is that I am a Muslim in my dream as well as i my real life...

Being hated in my sleep and while I am awake.

Amazing, I am also a, "SOMEBODY"

hats why I was at the residency...

Oh! yes, I was there because I was a Muslim...wow...thats just great...

Now lets get back to the dream...

Women have just finished their breafast and I though I am not finished packing

I sit down too...

'Hi, avocado toast with lightly poached egg on the top please."

I am trying to order

'No more avocado toast."

The waitress tells me not so very politely...

'Oh! no avocado toast?"  I am still trying to be polite... I am Muslim afterall, I have no other choice

But to be polite to all the ass holes who I encounter day and night...

:OH! so how was the terrorism in your country you just visited."

They constantly ask me...

'No terrorism...not anything I encountered."

I tell them politely

'Oh! you are lying."

'No I didn't encounter nothing but since you seem to know more than me...you must have been there

yourself."  I say a bit sarcastically...

"God forbid if I ever visit that part of the world."

They say and walk away...

'I wish I didn't visit this part of the world."  I say in my dream silently

while I still want some breakfast.

'What is still available for breakfast?"

I ask the waitress...

"there are some donuts."

"You want me to eat donuts...look at me...everything is bulging out of my dress.

All those ladies you served the avocado tast to were thin like a pencil and you are offering me a

donut?"

I left the table cursing myself...

"Why the fuck did I came to the Western Civilization?

This question I ask with every breath I take recently...

I am banned from avocado toast...thats for sure...

Fuck it...let me go pack...they are taking us back to the city soon...

Then all of a sudden, instead of a car pulling up in the driveway of this residency building

a whole train, i mean a railway train comes full speed...

Oh! my god. oh! my god..how could a whole railway train enter this driveway?

Are we going back in this train?

I can't get back to the room to get my carry on...

The train has blocked the whole entrance ....

My un-numbered pages of my hand written script is in there too...

No other copy...

No, no other copy...

NO PDF FILE ANY WHERE....

I am so devastated...

I am always devastated...

Not ready...never ready,,,

Not like those ladies who were ready for their healthy toast...

If you are not ready, you are not going to get that toast.

Then I woke up.

I was starving...

I should go to Balthazar and have an avocado toast...

I said to myself

It costs $28 plus tax and tip....

Well...well...

I will think about it tomorrow...

Afterall tomorrow is another day.

REMEMBRANCE OF A DREAM CONTINUES

REMEMBRANCE OF A DREAM

The moment I get up and get to the bathroom the dream starts to fade

I used to remember it a little longer

I know I dreamt a long unsettling dream rather dreams

Just a little part of it is in the memory still...

Much happened before this and then there was a small dark room

I bent down to pick something and all of a sudden...

A frighteningly black ferocious cat or something like that

Clawed in my backside ...

And I screamed with horror...
Screamed and screamed, mentioned some one's name to come and rescue me from their cat

Or whatever it was on my back...

I think I mentioned a woman's name in my dream...

The cat belonged to a woman I assume...

Women are catty...

I know that...

My experience with most of them is not so pleasant.

They pry on things

Matters such as your age, your weight, your birth certificate, your illness if you have any

They would like you to have some....

Your husband, if you have one...

They are not happy if you do and not happy if you don't...

Women are mostly not happy...

I understand that

They have to first of all fight for their rights all their lives

I mean to be fair to them, why must they fight for their rights?

Their birth is their right to all things human and just

Why men don't fight for their rights?

What a simple question...

And no one has ever been able to answer that question.

"Fight for your rights."

If you have to fight for your rights then obviously you have no rights...

Right?

When life is fair, you don't fight.

My dream wasn't fair either...

The tiger like cat come from nowhere and jump on my back?

Why?

What did I do to her?

I didn't bother her

Didn't hurt her

Didn't annoy her...

I was on my way to the bath room...

Its amazing

I go to pee a lot in my dreams

I pee a lot while I am awake...

People say, I have a weak bladder...

I say, "Fuck people."

Its the people who ruined my life

Its the people who appear in my dreams as cats, tigers, hoodlums, killers, drug dealers, fanatics,

mentally ill bastards, thieves.  They even appear as knives, guns, bombs, hurricanes, fires...

Oh! the fires...

So scary...

The fire in London

That building for the working class...

What was the name of the building?

What was the name?

Oh! Grenfell tower...

That ugly looking thing...

'The council housing they call it...

Why don't the other people, luxuriously rich people live in 'Council housing"?

No fire protection in the building and its not in the democracy less 3rd world

Its in LOndon...London my dear, London...

And its not a dream either...

Nightmare of a life time for  the survivors...

Thats not a dream...its real and its 21st century....

Thank god the cat grabbed me only in my dream.

I must be the luckiest person who experience, drowning, fire, killings, blood, demolitions

only in my dreams...

See how ungrateful you are?

Thank your lucky stars and try to remember your awful dreams a bit better.

Sharpen your memory

Eat 12 almonds every morning like Obama did...

But he ate almonds at night in his private office while he wrote his books

for which he is getting 60 millions...

Wow! I love to have those BADAMS, (ALMONDS)

Those special almonds kept Obama alert and very likable.

Maybe Trump should eat those almonds...

But Obama will never offer those to Trump...

I wonder whose dreams are nicer?

Obama's?  Trump's?  Or mine?

Remembrance of a dream

'Remembrance of a dream"

The second part of a triology, "Paranoia of a dream"

Titled, 'Remembrance of a dream"  Opens NOVEMBER 27 AND RUNS TILL DECEMBER 17

AT THEATER FOR THE NEW CITY, 155 FIRST AVENUE, NEW YORK CITY IN THE EAST

VILLAGE BY BINA SHARIF

Oh! Yesterday

I couldn't catch you, Oh! yesterday

I was desperate...

Where did you go?

You told me , "You will be right back"

But you were gone

I couldn't catch you

While you were leaving

I cried for you to stay

But you said, "Don't cry my dear, I will be right back"

Your promise was like a long lost lover's fake words

'Its like the modern day promises like, "I will call you tomorrow, we will have lunch."

That call never comes, that lunch is never eaten...

The wait for that call is eternal

'I will call you tomorrow."

For that call one has to wait for many tomorrows.

You are one of the most cruel lover

You go and you never come back...

Why do you do that?

Why don't you stay?

Stay for ever

oO! YESTERDAY, WHY DID YOU GO AWAY?

I miss you...

I miss you so much

We had fun together

The whole family was there

The mother and father and brothers and sisters

And the house where you lived with us was also there

The house is gone with you

Do you live together in that house?

Why not with us ?

If you are still in that house somewhere...

Can we visit?

Just for the old times sake

We will laugh together...

Thats all...

I promise we won't fight

Just for that laughter's sake come back...

There is no present pleasant enough without you

No future feasible without you...

We are simply not happy without you

You are so missed

You are lucky that you are missed

In today's world no one miss no one

But Oh! yesterday...we miss you...

You were the fun we have never had since...

That peace, that calm, that ambition, that dream, that laughter has gone away with you

Were do you reside?

Can I visit?

Oh! yesterday...

Why couldn't I catch you?

Oh! yesterday...

I couldn't catch you...

You made me so sad

With your absence

You were my singing bird

And you flew away like one

Flew fast and furious

And went far far away...

Oh! yesterday...

I couldn't catch you

Why I couldn't catch you?

Oh! yesterday.........

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

There was a train
The train was moving
Moving fast
Then abruptly stops
I am now on the platform
Next is my mother, (deceased) coming off
"There is a big gap between the train and the platform, please be careful."
I warn my mother

Then comes out my young niece
Then another niece
We have arrived somewhere
It seems like we are in USA
The platform seems like one of those in small cities of USA
Desolate, narrow, with strangers....
And lots of luggage

But we don't have any luggage
It seems that way
'Where are we heading to?"
We have no idea
The dream doesn't give us that chance
It ends abruptly.....

Or it changes scenery

Now I am at an audition
There are many rooms
I think its an ad agency
I have a photo and resume
They don't pay any attention
Very formal
Many men
Many rooms
Many people

Women walking around
Men walking around
I am done
I leave
Never hear from them
Time passes

Then one day they call me for a job.I am thrilled
Telling everyone, "Oh! that big ad agency called me"
"Oh! I got a job with the big ad agency>" I am shouting
Like a beggar we are happy to collect some crumbs from the prosperous floors

A man in black encounters me
There are many rooms
There are many men
The man in black instructs me

Give a pair of scissors
'Is it a scissor commercial?"
I wonder
Then he gives me a folded sheet, pink in color
Then another sheet, blue in color

Then shows me a photo
In the photo there are many people, mostly men
In the middle of the photo is a man wearing pink
'This is the man you will stab withe scissots."
The man in black instructs me
'Stab?"
I say
'Yes, he says."

These scissors must be a prop.  " I think
But scissors are for real.
Then another big man gives me a bowl full of some thing very dark in it to hold.
'How am I going to be able to stab some one with my hands so full
I put everything down but the scissors.

Now all those men seem like big MAFIA MEN
Now the big long tables are being laid out withe lots of food on them.
I am very hungry
But no one offers me food.
I am still carrying the scissors.
Another man replaces my scissors
Te first pair had some pink color in them
The new pair is shining white

I don't like the second pair
'It would be much easier to stab the man withe the first pair."
I think out loud.
My hand had a better grip on the first pair

'The train is on Mulberry street."
They keep announcing the subway stops
The man I am going to stab is on the subway
'How am I going to kill him while he is riding in a subway car
And I am in this so called ad agency>?
I ask myself
Maybe the man will come here after he gets off the subway

But in my dream its very clear that I have to stab him withe new pair of shining scissors
in the subway car....
So maybe I am already in the subway car?
Maybe this is the train my mother and my nieces came off from
And I am still there and being given a task of a murderer
Maybe I never came off the train....
Only they did...my family...
I am still in danger
But this is a job, I think....
Am I not some kind of an actress?
But this seems real
I haven't acted for a long time....

In the dream I am suppose to kill some poor fellow
with the scissors while he is sitting in the middle of some strangers
in a fast moving train while I am in a strange room with very strange and dangerous men.....

But why my mother was in that very train in which I am going to kill some one?
And my poor mother who is dead will have to see her  respectful daughter committing a crime?
But thank god my mother is dead...................
She won't have to see her daughter's demise...............
But why did I see her coming off the train?
Because she must have come off........
I saw her
I was already on the platform.........................
Then we were ready to go somewhere...........
Somewhere...with my mother and my nieces............
Somewhere nice and eat some good lunch..........
Since I was starving in the dream
And no one offered me any food
While there was so much food in the room.........
So much food............
And no one offered me.................
I must be in USA
In USA no one offers any food to any one
They just keep eating....
They paid for it
They are the only one who will eat that food............
Back home we gave a lot of food to strangers when they were hungry..............

I was for sure not at home.............
I came off the train on a desolate platform in USA.......................

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

ITS LATE IN THE DAY NOW
I HAVE FORGOTTEN MOST OF MY DREAM

But it was very dramatic
And I thought that I would quickly write it down
But alas!

This and that hapened
And it all evaporated
But it was something like this...

My elder sister was there
And then there was a beautiful young boy
Maybe her grandson
And we were having a wonderful time
Laughing and eating and chatting away
Mostly gossip....
Bad mouthing other people and relatives

And it was getting quite dark
And I wanted to take that little boy out
And my sister was totally against it
Because it was dark and gloomy outside
But that was the reason that I wanted to take us outside

I knew it was going to get gloomy inside as well....
It always happens in my dreams
Dark and depressing...
More and more now

People say, "You are getting old now."
"Oh! my dreams are getting dark and gloomy because I am getting old now?"
:Yes, they say."

People are nasty and un-happy
So they want to make others un-happy to ease their misery

"I am getting these heavy looking bags under my eyes."
I said to a woman I know
(Women are usually more nasty then men)
"Because you are getting old."
She said
'I fell down"
I said
"Because you are getting old."
She said
'I have no friends."
I said
"Because you are getting old."
She said.
"You have mentioned the word, "OLD" three times by now
in a very short breath of the time....
I asid
Walked away....
I have walked away from so many people after their rude remarks so often....
But I digress....

We were having a dream and there was a beautiful young boy in it
How come these nasty creatures, these unhappy women making un-pleasant comments came in?
Who knows...

But in the dream I took the young boy out
And he didn't seem so very young any more...

I mean young but not three years ...
He was now a great looking 12 or 13 year old
And a a dangerous looking, lecherous man wanted to kidnap
him....

And I was so frightened and so was the boy...
And the dangerous man forced us into dark alleys
and gutters and horribly deserted places and we screamed and screamed
For help and no one heard us and I was so scared of this man as well of my sister...

What am I going to tell her if god forbid I lose her son.....
My fear was ominous and complete
And I wanted to run and run and run but I couldn't...........
And I have forgotten the rest....

Thank god because the ending was not good
No, not good at all



.....