THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

What was the dream?
What?
What was the dream about?
The dream?
Yes, the dream
Oh! I forgot.....
Really?
Yes, Really....

Too bad
Why?
Maybe you could have been killed or something
What?
I said, Maybe you could ave been dead by a dagger or sword or a nife or something

Oh! you hate me so much?
No, not really
But you want me dead
Only in your dream
But you hate me, actually despise me

I don't and its not my dream, its always your dreams and some one
is chasing you with all the ancient deadly instruments

But you are disappointed that when the dream is over I wake up
Why would I be disappointed?
Because I live after every attempted murder
But its only a dream
You wish otherwise
Wishes are only wishes
I thought we were friends
You are so naive
Why?

Humans are not friendly species
What are they then?
You know.  You are smart.
Who told you?
You did, You said you are smart
If I was really smart would I be friends with some one who wish me dead
You take challenge yourself.

To you every one is a mystery.
Thats a complement
"Being, "Mysterious." is a complement
Is it?
Of course it is.  Do you want to be bland?  Blank paper with no writing on it?
I told some one that you are a mystery to me and she got very offended,
She thought I was suspicious of her....
She seems like the one who has no imagination.  Mysterious and suspicious are words miles apart
in their interpretation .....
I would love some one saying that to me...
'Oh! you are a mystery to me."  So dramatic, so full of suspense, so romantic....
Imagine some one saying to you or me, "Oh1 you have no mystery about you."
I will be so insulted.

The Orient understand that.
They had the mystery
So much mystery about them that the West went crazy to explore it
And explore they did.............
Yup, they plundered the mystery to shreds and made condos and free markets out of them...
Condo for sure has no mystery

Kitchen, little dining table in the kitchen, some shelves for the pots and pans
one small bedroom, one small bathroom, a little window which might not open and morgage for life....
Where is the mystery in that?
In democracy everything is out in the open, Equality, all condos must look alike...........

Lets talk about the, "Orient" a bit more....
Oh! you like that?
Of course I want to learn
A bit late for learning
Its never late
Oh! crap...I hate this sentence, "ITs never too late."
Its late honey, its late, Its late at night, its dark, its beastly, friends have become enemies,killings in the night...its late and Orient has vanished into the lateness of the night...their mystery has been
flown away, their spice and exotic kajal as dark as the night is being sold in KMART....
tHE COLOR OF THE oRIENT IS FADED AND THOSE GOLDEN LIGHTS OF THE SUNSET HAVE DROWNED IN THE THUNDER AND SNOW OF THE WEST.

You know what Cocteau said about the Orient?
No Idea....
He said, "Orient made a terrible mistake to have felt inferior than the West and started to copy us."
But even if they didn't nothing was left of their own.....
Yes, thats why people from the Orient migrate to the west.  They are seeking what was taken from them.  What was looted from them, they are looking for what was theirs.
Good luck to them
Yes, good luck to them

All their awful dreams of knives and killings and terror takes place in the west.
They give the impression in their dreams that they want their mystery back, their exotiness back, their uniqueness back and they are being chased with the daggers..............

Stop looking, stop thinking, stop being in the past, before you sleep watch some sketch comedy
and your awful dreams will disappear.  Sketch comedy is good, its light, its silly, its non substantial
and thus not provoctive and you will sleep like a baby and then you won't have to struggle remembering those awful dreams of the past and present......
You will have no dreams
You might even get a condo if you try hard enough
But I promise, no more dreams for you.....Not good for your health because they are not comic....
They are rather tragic if I may say so......
Just smile in the morning and say hi to people and if you want more dialogue than, "HI"
Say, 'NICE WEATHER." AND MOVE ON...............................

GET OUT

GET OUT

Get out, get away,
Get away from it all

No more fun
No more fun

Just a chore
Just a chore

Get out
Get away

Get out
Get away from it all
Not  healthy looking any more

Get out
Get away

On to something else
On to something else

It has become stale
Not healthy looking at all

Rotten old food
Rotten 0ld food

Throw it away
Throw it away
Throw it away

The smell is get horrendous
The smell is horrendous....

You don't smell it?
You don't smell it?

'No, I don't smell it."

You don't smell it?
You don't smell it?

What's wrong with you?
What's wrong with you?

'I don't smell it, No, I don't smell it."

Something is wrong with you
Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you

Don't you smell the rotten smell?
Don't you smell the rotten smell?
Don't you smell the rotten smell?

"No, I don't smell it, no, I don't smell it."

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you
Some thing is terribly wrong with you

Get out
Get away

Get out
Get away

Smell the rotten smell and get away

Don't you smell the rotten smell?
Don't you smell the rotten smell?
Don't you?

"NO, I don't smell it, no I don't smell it

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you

Don't you smell the rotten smell?
Don't you smell the rotten smell?
Don't you?

"NO, I don't smell it, no I don't smell it

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you
I know it
I know it
Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you

I know it
I know it very well

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you

Nothing is wrong with me
Nothing is wrong with me

I do not smell the smell
I do not smell the rotten smell

There is no smell
There is no rotten smell

Something is wrong with you
Something is wrong with you

I know it
I know it
I know it well

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you
You always smelling some rotten smell
There is no smell here
There is no rotten smell here

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong wih you

I know it
I know it
I know it very well

Something is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you
Something was always wrong with you
Get out
Get away

Get out
Get away
Get away from me
Get out
Get away
Get away from me

Some thing is wrong with you
Something is very wrong with you...........

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

It was going to be a wedding
The gowns were being selected
Pink chiffon
off white chiffon
Orange chiffon

He was ordering it around
The bride groom
Seemed like a fashion designer
Had the hectic business about him

And was a total control freak
Interfering, screaming, yelling just like David O Russel and Lilly Tomeline ....
"I am I yelling?"
"Did I yell un-till now?"
And yelling nonetheless....

I guess it was me who was going to get married to this freak
And why was I being married to him?
Who knows it was just a dream....

There was a nice lady in the dream as well
She was also in pink
Darker pink though
The bridegroom seemed like her brother
Or maybe not a brother...
Her brother was actually the one I was interested in
And getting married to him to get to know her brother

What a way to get to know some one
I needed to refuse this contract
But the wedding was either tomorrow or day after tomorrow
And it seemed like that I was too terrified to get out of it

But I guess the deep message of this dream is that I can't get out of bad choices
Or difficult situations once I get myself in them
So I had to go through this wedding
At least it had chiffon gowns in it
Must be summer time
Maybe the wedding would be taking place in a garden
Two of my favorite things
Chiffon and a garden

But who was the nice lady in dark pink?
She did have some relationship with this guy
But she was totally different
And I did like her
She had promised me something
Something, a reward, a romance perhaps with some one else that I liked
And could only get close to if I married this man

So I was marrying him to get close to an old long lost lover
Who knows
It wasn't clear
After all it was a dream
Then I dreamt of another dream
But actually I dreamt of another dream before I dreamt of the wedding dream
And both dreams I dreamt the same night
But I forgot the first one
I forgot the first dream
Un-fortunately I always forget my first dream
My initial dream.........
iIALWAYS FORGET..................

EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY

EVERY DAY, EVERY DAY

Every day I think of changing my life
Everyday I say that tomorrow will be different
Every day I say I will do this and that
Every day I am sad
Every day I am sad because I didn't do what I said
What I said that I will do

Every day I write down the things I must not do
Every day I write down the things I must do
Every day I curse my self
Every day I wish my life could change
Every day It remains the same

Some one told me last night
That I stand in my way
Every day some one tell me
That I am standing in my own way
But thats all they say
Then they walk away saying,
"THey have to go, they are in a hurry."

Every day I seek an answer'
Every day I am confused
Every day I want to get out of my way
If that was the truth
But every day I am still standing
Where I was standing before
Every day I wish that the people who told me,
That I am standing in my own way
Would tell me how to get out of my way
But that no one helps you with

They just walk away after disturbing you
Walk away,
'I am in a hurry."
Then they walk away
I am still standing
I guess in my own way
But I should be content that
I am still standing
Even when I am in my own way
I am still standing
I should take myself with me
Wherever I want to go to
Wherever the change of life will take me

Everyday I want to change my life
Every day I am the same
Every day I ams ad
Every day I am the same
Every day, every day...........................

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

WHEN WILL YOU WRITE AGAIN ABOUT YOUR AWFUL DREAMS?

i am in an awful dream during the day
I am in a play
My play
My fucking play
And the awful dream occur every night at 8pm

The same shit
Every time
The same shit every time
The same shit every time
The same SHIT

The shit for real
I am in the shit
In the shit
For so long
For so long
For so long

No bath will ever wash this shit off
I will always smell of shit
Shit of my own making
Shit of my own making
Shit of my own making

I smell
I smell
I smell
I smell
I smell of shit of my own making

I smell of shit
I smell of shit
I smell of shit
I smell of shit
Shit of my own making

Shit of my own making
Shit of my own making
Shit of my own making
Shit of my own making

My life stinks
My life stinks
My life stinks
My life stinks

SMELL OF SHIT
SMELL OF SHIT
SMELL OF SHIT
SMELL OF SHIT

SHIT
AND SMELL OF SHIT OF MY OWN MAKING

Gourmet shit
Gourmet shit
Gourmet shit
Gourmet shit

Home made shit
Home made shit
Home made shit
Home made shit

Shit from farmers market
Shit from farmers market
Shit from farmers market
Shit from farmers market

Whole food organic shit
Whole food organic shit
Whole food organic market
Whole food organic market

I collected shit from all over the place
I think thats my life
The collection of shit from all over the place
Collection of shit from all over the place

Now its called a play
Now its called a fucking play
Its a fucking play
My life which is a collection of shit from all over the place
Now its called a play

Where is the fucking funding?
Where is the set?
Where is the audience?
Where are the actors?
Where is the money?
Where are the so called expert critics?
Oh! this play doesn't need criticism
Oh! this play doesn't need criticism
Oh! this play doesn't need criticism
Oh! this play doesn't need criticism

This is not a play
This is one of your usual nightmare
This is not a play
This one is one of your awful dream
So you have never stopped writing about your awful dreams
You have been constantly writing about it
You never went away
Your awful dreams never went away
You are constantly dreaming your awful dreams
The stinky, smelly, shitty awful dreams
You have been dreaming your awful dreams
Now you are performing them
Now you are performing them
Now you are performing them

But where are the actors?
Where are the critics?
Where is the theater?
Where is the budget?
Where are the posters?
Where are the lights?
Where ?
Where?
Where?
Where?

Where are you in your life right now?

In shit
In shit
In shit
In shit
In shit
In shit

But you were always in shit
But you were always in shit
But you were always in shit
But you were always in shit

Nothing has changed
Nothing has changed
Nothing has changed
Nothing has changed

But actually something has changed
Yes, something has changed
Yes, something has changed
Yes, something has changed

You have no life
You have no life
You have no life
You have no life

you have an awful dream
You have an awful dream
You have an awful dream
You have an awful dream

Now your dream comes during the day
Now your dream comes during the day
Now your dream comes during the day
Now your dream comes during the day

You have accomplished a hell of a lot
You have accomplished a hell of a lot
You have accomplished a hell of a lot
You have accomplished a hell of a lot

Now you are your own nightmare
Now you are your own nightmare
Now you are your own nightmare
Now you are your own night mare

These awful dreams have continued

These awful dreams have continued
These awful dreams have continued
These awful dreams have continued
These awful dreams have continued

Good for you miss
Good for you miss
Good for you miss
Good for you miss

So much achievement in one life time
So much achievement in one life time
So much achievement in one life time
So much achievement in one life time

Brava miss
Brava miss
Brava miss
Brava miss
Brava miss

So impressed
So so impressed
So so so impressed
So so so so so so so so so so impressed.

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

This one wasn't so awful
Actually it wasn't awful at all
What happened?
Am I healed?

This was a bit un-usual
There was a nice big clean corridor
Next to the corridor was a room without doors
The space was pretty big, open and clean
In the long corridor was a bed
Not a huge bed but a normal size bed
And there was a man lying down
Covered in a white sheet
But his face was not covered
He seemed really feverish
Lots of restlessness and agony surrounded him
I knew in my dream that this person had high fever

He was moaning and groaning
Asking for some thing
I saw his face
He was Obama
Yes, Obama sick with fever
All alone by himself in the middle of a corridor asking for something

I came running to him from the room
I was bare foot and nervous
Extremely nervous
I stood near the bed with my hands totally shaking
Shaking so much that I had to rest them  on the bed....
'Yes, Mr President, Yes, Mr President, what would you like?"
I ASKED SHIVERING TO MY BONE.....

He mumbled
He asked for two things
The first one I didn't understand
I was too afraid to ask him, 'What did you say?"
After-all I knew I was dealing wit the president of United States
Can you imagine......
So I dare not asked about the very first thing he wanted
But I understood the second part of his request
He wanted tea......

'With milk? Mr President"
"No, black."  he said
'Yes, Mr President, yes and yes again....

Now I was looking for some one to make him tea
I am sure some one from his security have to be around
But there was not a soul in sight
Not his wife
Not his daughters
No guard
No security

I knew I had to make tea for him
I didn't mind
Actually it was a pleasure to make tea for him
But I was throughly afraid...

'Am I allowed to make tea for Obama, the president?"
I was asking myself a million time
But there was no one around
And he was feverish
So sick
I know when some one has high fever
Their skin color changes
He had fever
He was dehydrated

I made a big mug of black tea and brought it to him
"Here Mr President, here is your tea."
He took it
I was still trembling like a tiny tree branch in a dangerous storm

I kept asking myself what else did he want?
What was the first thing he wanted before he mentioned tea?
Did he want water?
Should I bring him water?
Should I dare ask him again what else did he want?
Do I dare say to him, "Mr President I didn't understand the first time you spoke.

I didn't understand your first request. Please let me know, "what else did you want?"
But I couldn't
I couldn't.....
I wanted to but I didn't have the guts to question him....
I remember this dream so clearly, as if it wasn't a dream at all
Everything was crystal clear except the first part of his want....

'What else did he want?"
'What else did he want?"
I wish I heard him clearly

Then after I gave him tea and stood there for a while gathering my courage to ask him what else did he want?

I suddenly woke up................

This was day before yesterday...............
And I am still wondering what else did he want?
Did he ask for water?
And I didn't give it to him because I didn't hear him properly
Or if not water what else did he need?
I wish I knew
Then I would have served him whatever he needed...............
I wondered what else did he need when he was so feverish, so sick and so alone by himself....................

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

THESE AWFUL DREAMS

I was reading a book or watching a program about some one, a scholar or some big shot
and it was very late at night, I think it was a huge book and the character kind of jumped out of the page, which I didn't realize and went out in the dark looking for him and then that very character was coming out of a tv studio as if in my dream I was reading about some one who also was on tv at the same time....

Does it make any sense?
If it doesn't its a dream anyway
Dreams don't make sense and sometimes they signals about your emotional disturbances
which surface late at night most of the time....

Now I am outside in the street and standing in-front of the TV STUDIO AND THIS GUY WHO WAS ALSO A CHARACTER IN THE BOOK i WAS READING COMING OUT AND i OPEN THE DOOR FOR HIM...............

Thinking at the same time, "Why am I opening the door for him?  I am not a door man
Why am I putting myself in an inferior position, not that door man is somehow in an inferior place but still why must I open the door for this man even if was admiring him earlier but somehow I do, I open the door and he gives me a strange look because its so late at night and there is no one in the street...............What is a dark woman doing in the dark street in the dark of the night?
He seemed puzzled ....
And I praise him profusely like I usually do.......
There is an other man behind him
Seems like a chumcha
Thats a foreign word meaning, "Ass-kisser"
He, the chamcha also gives me non-complimentary looks
And then they leave and all of a sudden I get this urge to pee
And I see the lights on in the next corner
A resturant or something
So I rushed towards the place and I realize that I am bare foot

'Oh!gee what am I doing running bare foot?"
I realize that my foot has been hurting and now I am bare foot in the filthy street with dog shit and broken glass
But I have to pee..............

By the time I get to the corner cafe or whatever it was the lights get turned down and I can't enter the place.....

Now if I was sensible or my dream was I would have gone back to my home which
was on the other corner of the street and gone to my own bathroom to pee....
But hell no...
Its a non-sensical dream and I keep looking for places to pee now getting further away from my home....

AND GUESS WHAT?
NOW i AM IN A TRAIN.....GOING TO ANOTHER TOWN TO PEE..............
AND I HAVE NO IDEA WHAT HAPPENED NEXT................
I BET YOU I PEED IN THE TRAIN AND THEY ARRESTED ME...........
BUT THANK GOD I WOKE UP BEFORE THAT......................