DIARY OF A THOUGHT

Thoughts have been so scattered
But arnt' thoughts for scattering?

They go haywire when need to be composed
Like a human in rage...

How many times have I reminded you to be reserved and distanced?
"Cold" you mean?

Yes, thats what I mean
Not possible

How come?
Thoughts are too hot to be distanced

Heat is dangerous
For whom?

I don't know
You need to know

The heat is burning you
Burning you inside out

And its the heat of your own thoughts
You call it, "Passion"

But its stupidity, I say
If you want to remain,"Stupid"

Fine with me
But the burns will be left on your own soul

But my soul is parched already
And Can't be British

Its them who are always in control of their emotions and thoughts
And you?

I am Asian...
Look what they did to you....

Control and calm works
Rest is just screaming

No one is listening
People keep walking away...

People walk away from everything
Mostly from screaming people

I am not screaming
My thoughts are just too many

You can have a bundle of thoughts if they were tied up neatly
I don't have a rope to tie up my thoughts

And why would I do that?
I am not a free person on this planet, why should I prison my thoughts also?

Arn't you free?
Free?

Yes, free...
Who said so?

The constitution
You believe the constitution?

What else should I believe?
Believe nothing..

I have to live in this world, I have to believe something
Why do you have to believe something to live?

Isn't living believing?
Who said so?

Life should have a purpose
Don't you eat enough?

Yes, mostly gluten, dairy, sugar, soy, peanuts, corn,
Six deadly sins you perform by eating these things

But these things are in everything
Everything  touch and put it in my mouth

Is this your purpose in life to eat six deadly sins?
Let me know if there is another one...

Be reserve and distance and cold
Thats your purpose in life

Don't scream
Don't laugh too loudly
Don't become friends too quickly
Don't love any one
Don't go to the same cafe every day
Don't be with non actors
Don't talk to strangers
Don't love any one
Don't read the news papers
Don't believe the politicians
Wars are for good
Let people on this planet be slaughtered by war
Wars are liberating
They liberate the scum of the earth
Politicians are going to a party
Fund raising...
To have a new war
To built a new mansion for themselves
Private security
Lets kill a few thousand every six weeks
The World is too heavily populated
Lets clean it up
The poor people clean up the side walks
And the rich politicians clean up people from this earth...

See where you are going again?
Where am I going?

Your thoughts are out of control again
You are so un-like the British

They never let you know what they are thinking
Thats why they were so successful in making you their servant

In your own home
You need to be reserve, distanced and cold

And any time you talk war
Your thoughts have gone haywire

Thats the sign
Don't mention some words
Don't even think some words

Keep them under control
Words are dangerous

And they will never forgive you
Who?
"THEY"

So what should I do?
Keep quiet

And smile some times
But little smiles

No big ha;;ha;;ha;;ha
Just a little smile at the corner of your mouth

To keep the politicians happy
They will be happy for you

And then you can go to a hospital for free when you are dying
Keep quiet and then die

Thats the meaningful life
Thats the purpose of life

Keep quiet and make no vibes
And then?

Then what?
Then?

Die
Gee...

I came to this world to die?
What else?  Tell me what else?

And the British and the ones like them
Let them have wars and then have a party

Thats the purpose of their lives
And mine?

I told you so
What?

What?
Tell me again what's the purpose of my thoughts and my life?

To shut up and ...
And?

And then die,,,die,,die honey,,die,,,
You live in a democracy
You need to shut your mind and your God damned mouth
Now shut up

And no coughing please
Coughing is not allowed in a free country

Don't cough
No matter what

Choke to death if you can
But no cough

People who cough are poor
And you live in a rich democracy

Don't cough
That means you don't have health insurance

That means you are poor
That means you are a no body
That means that you have no purpose in life
That means that you can't speak
That means that you can't think
That means that you are one of the candidate for death by an Imperial war
That means that you and many others like you need to be eliminated
That means if you kept a check on your purpose in life and your thoughts
and smiled little smiles from the corners of your mouth to please them, to assure them
that you have no thoughts or if you have them they are under total control and you
are a reserve, distant and a cold person and not target for slaughter...

See thoughts are that important
Can't reveal your thoughts
The price you will pay is your life
But why not...
What is your life good for any way...
And since your life is no good
Neither is your thought
So why express your self with passion...
Passion?
What a dangerous word...
Look what happened to Oscar Wilde?

MUSHKIL HEE CHALEY HEY GHULSHAN KA
KAROBAR

(THE GARDEN IS NOT FUNCTIONING WELL
OR
THE GARDEN IS FULL OF WEEDS
OR
THE BUSINESS IS DOWN)

"I am so hurt."

"Why?"

"I don't know."

"I don't really know."

"But I feel my heart is broken into tiny little pieces."

"Why?"

"I don't know...I don't really know."

"French speaks French"
Latinos speak speak Spanish"
Latin speaks latin"
English speak English"
We als speak English"
But we are not English"
'We don't know who we are"
'We lost our language"
'We don't know who we are"
'We lost our selves."

SENSE OF SORROW

Sense of sorrow has a big part in my life
I wonder why?
But perhaps it has to do with the first death in my family....
The death of my young sister at the age 25
While I was 18..........

Since then-I have never recovered.....

Then deaths continued...........
Father
Another sister
Mother
And now a brother.................

FATALITY

A fatality led him on,(Oscar Wilde)
He could not or would not withdraw himself from it. ?

"My heart is utterly broken."  Oscar Wilde

BORING PEOPLE

For the sake of your vitality and excitement
you have to avoid all boring people who brings tons of boredom
and monotony with them into your vitality which is your future
and if the prospects of future becomes boring then you won't strife for it.
See how damaging boredom and boring people are...

Develop some motivating force which reinvigorate

Become manipulator of destiny

Don't accept the destiny the way it seems...
Manipulate it.             BS

'You see there are two worlds-one exists and is never talked about.
Its called the real world and there is no need to talk about it in order
to see it. The other is the world of art-one must talk about that-because otherwise it would not exist."
Oscar Wilde


Why should I pay taxes?"

Oscar Wilde asked the tax man

"Its your house-isn't it?
You live here-you sleep here"

Answers the tax man

"But then-you see I sleep so badly."
Oscar Wilde

MOUNTAINS

Mountains never move
Mountains never shift
Mountains never shake
Mountains stay Un-moved
Mountains are majestic
Majestic mountains have no doubt

Mountains stay silent
Mountains are still
Mountains are still in their stillness
In their stillness is their majesty
In their silence is their power
Can't disturb a mountain
Can you?
Can't shake a mountain
Can you?
Can't instill doubt in a mountain
Can you?
Mountains don't cry
Mountains stand still
Can't disturb a mountain
Can you?
Be one.......
Be a mountain............

"Happy children should try not to be artists-you have to be born with broken heart
and a sense of loneliness inside."    Stella Adler

'Something in the way of American life defeats them, (the artist) They are after the next best seller
and if they fail they give up."   Stella Adler

"We have very few good playwrights because society's attitude is passive."   Stella Adler

'You don't have to be intelligent, Shakespeare is a giant- he carries you if you speak precisely
and have good teeth."  Stella Adler

'The only excuse for not coming to a class or performance is death."  Stella Adler

"I would rather act than go to the bank."   Stella Adler

"In our world we don't really know or care about  quality. Its all about money and publicity.
Its a sickness."   Stella Adler

'Life is boring.  We are too little in life.  Thats why we come to the theater because its not boring here." Stell Adler

"When the artist escapes he doesn't go to religion, he goes to the play to understand
life, The play gives him enough."  Stella Adler

CONTROL FREAKS

When you are with control freaks you mutilate your creativity.
Its up-to you to be free and let your talent flow.
With control, the imagination, sensitivity and creativity is absolutely
suffocated to the extent that it gets escaped from your soul with the evil
permission of the control freaks and thas exactly what they want.

They want to damage and diminish your creativity because they don't have
it themselves and they absolutely don't want you have it either.

But some of them do have money in the bank, yes in their banks not in your pocket
but they still want to control you because they have tons of stolen money in their banks
without you ever benefiting from it but they still want to control you because they have the money in the bank....
Stay away from them..........