THE GUY

I hate this guy
I hate his voice
I hate whatever he is talking about even if I
don't understand a thing he is saying except the word,"Money."
I hope he shuts up soon but he won't because he  is talking
and his talk revolves around money and this kind of talk never ends
till they are satisfied with the amount of money they have made already
but these kind of people are never satisfied with no matter how much
money they have already made because they always want more and more
and more, "Money."
I hope he shuts up because I am reading a book about Khalil Gibran
who was heavily into peace and love and faith and belief and love of brothers,,,
I wonder if this man with his ugly voice has ever heard of Khalil Gibran?

BOOKSHELVES

The whole world has been built by slaves.
All countries have been built by slaves.
Everything has been built by the help of slaves and nothing but slaves.
You are talking of getting some bookshelves built...
Give me a break,,,
Slaves worked from dusk to dawn every day for centuries and you are surprised that some people have
the ability to get bookshelves built by someone,,,
Where is that some one?
Some people in the name of love are still working like slaves for some one building everything,,,
Perhaps no one loves you enough to built your bookshelves....
Love is the second name of slavery,,,
No love is around,,
Everything is broken
Everything needs fixing
No love is around to fix it.

CHANGING

Its always changing

You learn something

And its already changed

You learn the new thing

And its changed again

You learn the very new thing

And its changed again

How much can you change every minute?

Can one not absorbs the old change first before

Its changed again?

ACHE

Now the new ache has started

Or the old ache has come back

Or the old ache had never gone away

Or the new ache was always there

To haunt me....

Some thing always haunts me

I don't know what it is?

Every choice haunts me

This way ?

Or that way?

Which way to go?

Haunts me....

Which way to go?

Or not go any where at all

Maybe thats the answer...

Maybe, if I stand still, the ache will go away...

Or maybe it never will...

It never will go away...

The ache.....

LETTERS FROM HOME:

THE PRESENT

THE PAST

THE FUTURE:

PAST MOSTLY......

PAST MOSTLY.....

PAST MOSTLY.....

"TO DO IT OR NOT TO DO IT"

Is it the paranoia?

Or real terror of something related to the beginning of insanity?

You say, "Beginning?"

It began long time ago.

You could never make decisions

Small decisions, big decisions

No decisions at all

You always asked others, all others, family, neighbors, friends, passer by...

Strangers....

If all of the above got tired of you asking the same question a million times,

You would go and find any body....

Any body who will listen

The same question

Again and again.....

Again and again...

Again and again....

Jesus, please.....

The ailment became bigger and bigger and more intense

"Should I do this or should I not do this?"

Was always the question about anything and everything.....

Big things, small things, all kinds of things.

To buy shoes, to buy, sweaters, to buy this lipstick or that lipstick...

To do it or not to do it....

Always was the biggest question of your life...

It seems like not important at that time

Everything seemed insignificant at that time

Everything was not so harmful about those little choices,

"To buy the red lipstick or to buy the pink lipstick

was not such life threatening choices....

But those choices which were questioned and never made turned into eventual disasters.......

Not availing the chance to go to England...

Not keeping the car...To stay or to leave?

Not being able to decide to travel......

"Should I do it or not do it?"

Became a Hamlet like condition.

"To be or not to be thats the question"

At least that question was about the existentialism....

An important eternal question and it was a great tragedy

written by a great writer of any times...........

Your lack of decision process either way is a laughable, a pitiable, a shameful

thing.........

How could you not decide on your own what's good for you?

How could you ask every Tom, Dick and Harry about, "Should I do it?"

"Should I not do it?"

What do they know about your life?

And what do they care?

And how much time they have for you to examine your paranoiad quest of finding the right answer?

They are busy....

Busy with their own lives and their I pods and I pads and lack of concern about

you......

You have come to this that you can't decide whether you should take a particular

medicine or not?

You ask others, "Should you?"

Isn't it pathetic?

They are not sick

You are

You are the one who is going to benefit from it

If there are any benefits in any poisonous drug...

And the side effects?

What the fuck do they care if it has side effects or not...

They are not taking it

You are...

You can die as if they care....

You can die of the disease if you don't take the drug

Or you can die of the side effects if you do take it...........

They don't care

They don't fucking care

No body cares....

They don't have time to care..........

The world is digital and busy

You ask them questions which involves passion........

Which machine Ever showed passion?

You are an adult, make your own decisions

But maybe you are not an adult

You are a child and the decisions have to be made for you......

Too bad that you don't have parents to make those decisions.........

You have to decide.....

Right decision or the wrong one.........

When one make s a decision it always seems like the right one at that time

Only later on one wonders if that was the right one or not.........

But you in your mental insanity always question it as if it is the wrong decision?

Why don't you ever think that it can be the right one?

Are you so negative about everything?

And how come you always know already that not taking the swift action and a bold attack at the right time is always the wrong decision?

Why do you delay and delay and delay till it becomes an enormous problem, un=solvable problem?

Why the positive in your life does not exist?

Why always the negative side of the story is your story?

Isn't life about negatives and positives?

Why in your case there is always a negative staring at your face like the most scary

monster? Always the same monster in every new situation?

Get rid of that monster........

Get rid of the addiction to fear........

What ever is going to happen is going to happen ant way........

You can't be so safe.......

Life is not safe..........

You are worried about the side effects of a medicine?

You can go out and get hit by a car........

Just my luck............

And why your luck is so bad?

Why?

Because you never count the good things in your life......

Never........

Always the bad ones

Only the dark side of the story

Any story

Big story, small story

What have you achieved by your negativity so far?

Destruction only.............

Can't help get rid of the dark side?

Then live with it

Its your dark side

No one is going to join you or question you or help you

for not lighting the candle.....................

No one gives a shit............

You have to do it.....

You have to do it........

Good bad, you have to do it and be responsible for it.........

Its also possible that the medicine might remove your suffering........

Is that one of the possibility or not?

Or only the side effects is the purpose of it?

Then don't take it...........

And live with it...........

Stop asking others to help you..........

Its your life, go help your self.........

But even if there was any help available, you don't have that kind of fortune...........

You are all alone in a cruel, brutal, cunning, selfish, uncaring, un loving world

You can drop dead and no one will care..............

You can't be so vulnerable

You will be swallowed up by the world

You already have been swallowed........

Don't swallow yourself

You will choke to death...................

You want to prevent death or hasten it?

Well you are hastening it darling, hastening it.

Don't be afraid.......

Be courageous

Be bold

Take actions

And take actions swiftly

don't worry about the result when you take that action

Unless you are going to murder someone.....

Think of only good things will happen after you take that action

Other wise you won't be able to do it.........

You will stop, like you have already.........

You have stopped..................

Its a shane............

Live your life till you die and you will

Die..........

Every one will die

But they are not thinking of death while they are on the IPAD

They are thinking of twitter and face book and blogs and you tube............

See how there are no questions of existentialism and anguish and darkness and horribly dark images of diseases while they are chatting and twittering............

The world is happy..........

Buy some electronic toys like they all have and play with those..........

Take your mind off the heavy negative, scary thought process which has

occupied you all your life.........

Nothing is new

You were never able to make decisions at all

Others nade decisions for you

and all others are gone and now you have to do it

and its scary

so very scary

but you have to do it sweetheart

Might as well do it with a positive happy thought.

THEATER OF WORDS CONTINUES

THE SIXTH UNSOPHISTICATED LADY

With your utmost determination, will power and skills

You have created more inferior people than you can imagine...

And soon the planet will be teamed with inferior races...........

THE MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY TO THE OTHER SOPHISTICATED LADY:

What's the matter with them?

We are trying to teach them English which

can certainly make them a little bit superior

and they keep insisting on being at the top of the inferior races

THE SECOND MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY

Its the grammar darling. The Grammar. If you don't understand grammar and its significance in the English language, You can't understand superiority and since you can't understand superiority, you can't become superior.

Its the understanding of things and people and cultures and geography which breeds

superiority, the research...I mean and without the correct grammar, the ambition

can stand in your way.............

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY

But we are trying to teach them.

Why can't they understand that we are in their favor and want to change

their destiny.......

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

But they don't want to change their destiny.....

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

That's pathetic. If you are born inferior thats one thing

but if you want to stay inferior thats a tragedy.

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

But they like tragedy.

Ok, I take it back. Perhaps they don't like tragedy

But they haven't known comedy so they are are not accustomed to it.

They are not accustomed to happiness.

Everytime I see them in National Geographic, they are crying.

Beating their breasts and crying. They are always crying.

Sitting next to corpses and crying.

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY

Well, if we had so many corpses in our streets, we will be crying too.

We won't be able to comprehend comic events right after

seeing corpses littered on the ground.

Sept 11 was enough.

I still can't ever forget it.

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

But we did something about it.

We went and nipped it in the bud.

We went after it like you won't believe it.

Immediate action. No delay.

Take care of it right away otherwise it can happen again..........

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Again and again........

They should learn a thing or two from us.

I mean we are here to help them.......

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Really. Came so far away to teach them English and correct grammar.

That's the first step to success. Who will care?

Us, only, democratic nations who are into human rights.

I mean its the right of every human being to learn English

, perfect English, I mean, not that bull shit broken English like, "England people very nice"

kind of English which really shows your inferiority and here we are to teach

them that and they don't seem to care..............

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

They care but they don't understand us........

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

They understand but they don't give a rats ass

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

They should care. We came so far away to help them.

I am not so comfortable in their countries, all these mosquitoes and flies, oh! I can't stand the flies, and the water.............

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

You don't drink the tap water, do you?

FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

No, I don't. God forbid. But who knows what they put in the bottle.

I don't trust them.

SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

But the bottles are sealed, right?

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

They are but still, I don't trust these people. I feel they don't like us.

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Then why are we here?

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

We are here in the name of democracy and democratic countries

are concerned about human rights. Our NGO is named after that.

THE MISSION OF HELPING NON DEMOCRATIC PEOPLE WHO SOME HOW OR THE OTHER LIKE TO KILL EACH OTHER.

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

How us teaching them Grammar will help them stop killing each other?

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

First, they have to understand us. understand and trust us.

Trust us that we are not here to hurt them.

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

But we just bombed their country........

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Yes, we did. We have to bomb first. That's the beginning of help.

We need to bomb first and then come in to clean up.

You see the problem is that they don't see the second part of our mission.

That we are here to clean up their mess. They can't just surpass the bombing.

Yes, we bombed them. We did. For their own good. They have been sitting on

their fat assess for so long procrastinating that the democratic world have to do some thing.

We pass a resolution with the UN and the NATO agrees and than we bomb them........wallah..

That's the first step of the reform. The world wide movement to reform and help oppressed

people and women especially. They are the most oppressed. Oh! man, aren't they oppressed?

Look these idiots. We are trying to do our best to make them superior and they keep doing

monologues praising their inferiority. They love to be inferior.

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

It will take them time to learn what we are trying to accomplish here.

Lot of time. All they know is that they are inferior people.

Since centuries they have been told that they are inferior.

We have been telling them too for a long, long time.

Now all of a sudden they can't jump up and down in a bikini and swim

like us and get some exercise for their knees and shoulders so they can stand up

straight and face people like us. Its going to take a long time before they understand

our true purpose of bring in their countries. They think that we are their enemies and we are not................Are we?

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Are we? Are you kidding me. The enemy will come to this mosquito ridden country

and get malaria and all the other rare diseases which exists in all these exotic

countries.............

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Its not so exotic a country. I scratch my whole body all day and all night

with loofa and still the bite of mosquito doesn't leave me. I want to go back and take a nice hot shower and go to the opera...............

FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

We are getting paid a lot of money. A lot of money. I have never ever had a job like this

before. So much money, man....where did our NGO boss es got all that money from?

SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

These bombed out countries somehow have more money than our countries. I wonder how?

But they do...........The moment we bomb them, we get great jobs with a lot of money.

THE FIRST MOST SOPHISTICATED LADY:

Because our jobs are tough.

We are dealing with thick headed people.

Look at these ladies.

For last month and a half they have been repeating the same song of being inferior than us.

I mean don't they feel embarrassed?

THE SECOND SOPHISTICATED LADY:

They don't understand the word, "Embarrass."

That's why we are here...........To teach them. (To the rest of the class) Lunch break ladies......

TO BE CONTINUED..........

That