"PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY" CONTINUES

'PUFFIN, WE ARE RATHER GLUM TODAY."

AND THE MATTRESS
OH! THE MATTRESS!
You can't balance the body once you lie down.
The ass is sinking fast and faster in on the softest and shittiest mattress possible on the face of this earth.
This is the worst mattress I have ever encountered in my life.
I wondered if Columbia street was worst than the mattress or the mattress was worst than Columbia street.
And the shower...
Unbelievable.
Unbelievably Un-aesthetic.
The moment you turn the handle, spurts of water comes out of different holes like the cow's tits
spurting milk all over your body...
What a shock and an unpleasant surprise to your body....
Thats just one day in one place on an expansive holiday upstate NY....
Neither could I take a shower nor could I lie down on a mattress and the breakfast.....

Please don't even ask me or remind me about the breakfast....
And the obsessive  control freak owner of the places....
and in control of the breakfast.
If one calls his place, BED AND BREAKFAST
DON'T YOU THINK THESE TWO THINGS SHOULD BE PROVIDED FOR AND TAKEN CARE OF PROPERLY?
BED AND BREAKFAST....
MY ASS...BED AND BREAKFAST....

ONLY AVAILABLE FROM 9 TO 9-30 FIRST OF ALL...
WHEN YOU WAKE UP AND GO TO PEE, THE TIME FOR THE BREAKFAST IS OVER...
AND IF YOU HURRY UP AND DON'T PEE AND RUSH DOWNSTAIR FOR BREAKFAST
YOU WILL SURELY PEE ONCE YOU SEE AND SMELL THE BREAKFAST....
The owner reciting robot style the breakfast menu of his choice, "And the first course is....

Yes, the first course is shit and the second course is shit and the main course is shit."
Thats what I would say....
And all the obedient guests, (Customers) I would say, "THe controlled paying customers)
including us would say, "THank you"
Thank you"
Because amongst the polite society one is not supposed to complain....

Polite society should provide some decent toast and eggs at least when one is paying three hundred dollars for a shitty B&B
I mean how difficult it is to decide a breakfast menue?
Egg and toast...thats it
Scrambled eggs
or fried eggs
or boiled eggs
or poached eggs
I should open a bed and breakfast place and kill people with a broken back and whatever comes with eating too many eggs....
Thats how people make money by killing people...
Thats called war....kill people legally....Have a license and kill people and make tons of money...

The obedient paying customers kept saying,"THank you"
And the control freak kept saying,"You are very welcome."
So the owner felt vindicated as if everything he provided for us, the mattress, the shower, the breakfast was beyond perfect otherwise why were we thanking him...
I asked my husband,"Why are we thanking him?"
and he said,"BE quiet." "WE are here for a few days anyway and stop your complaining."
I am considered a complainer if you haven't noticed that yet.
But you see I don't understand if the customers don't complain why would he change anything?
People behave that everything is fine because they are so cowardly and afraid....And if whoever
(some one like me) complains that person is considered  alow class immigrant.
Ok, don't complain, break your back, don't take a shower, smell like a mouse and don't eat breakfast and pay and thank him...What do I care....
I just won't go Upstat NY...No I won't go even if they ask me to perform....
But they won't ask me to perform because I am not Sandra Bernhard...Sandra...Berha... She is dead man...dead...died long time ago in France.....
You know nothing...thats why Upstate NY can fool you and everything else can fool you....
But I can't be fooled in the future....
I won't go anywhere
No, No where....
I will just stay here....
Locked up in my tiny apt and think of eggs and a toast...AND
 maybe make it for myself thats in case I ever step outside for shopping.....
I want eggs and toast right now....
I should go out and have breakfast in a fancy bistro in the East Village....
Do I have $50... for the eggs and toast at the Bowery hotel?
Please....
I already feel glum......
Oh! "Puffin, you are rather glum today.......



or poached eggs
or sunny side up eggs.....