THERAPY SESSION

Listen....
You have to get over it
You are hurting yourself
No one else is being hurt but you
You are actually hurting your creativity, your energy, your spirit,
your future prospects...

Future exist till you die
You are not dead yet
You have some hope
Don't cling to the negative
Let it go
Let it go
Let it go

First of all you always do something destructive to yourself
You always surround yourself with non professionals
You put A in and A can't act for beans
and when you put A in, you know fully well that A can't deliver
Why do you do that?
A very destructive act to begin with...
The result of a destructive act is always destruction
and then you take that as a surprise
as if you are shocked by the results
Then you constantly aggress yourself with the surprise
and waste tons of energy on their bad behavior and bad acting
But you knew that they couldn't act...
But I guess that you didn't know that they can also misbehave
So you are not disappointed by their bad acting but by their bad behavior
Every thing is fucked up including you
Its your fault to begin with
Its your fault
Your fault
Your fault
You hear me?
Its your fault

They are not actors
And you do know that
So why do you put them in your shows?
Because....
Because what?
Because...
Because...
Because....

Shut up
Shut up
Shut up

Because no one great is available...

Not for you I guess
Yes, thats true
Why not?
No one pays them
Great actors don't want to work for free
you work for free
I might not be great....

What a shame
What a shame
What a shame

So what's the answer/
The answer is to find trained actors who won't abuse the process
But they work in more estabilshed venues
So this is not the most established venue?
Not really
Its not a bad venue
Its actually a good venue
A very good venue
But not so commercial
Better than lots of other commercial venues
Very good for creativity and freedom
To experiment your work

So thats a plus
Yes, but I wish I had the trained actors

But you never tried to get them
Did you?
I did
Not really
Yes, maybe not
I assume they won't work here
Or maybe not with you?
What do you mean?
You assumed that really trained actors won't work with you
I don't know...maybe?
Why?
(Silence)
Why?
(Silence)
Maybe because I don't think that I am established enough for them to work with me

So you have established the fact in your own head that you are not established
and no one good enough will work with you?

I don't know really....its just difficult to get good actors
to work with you when they don't get paid

But actors know that there is not much money to be made in the theater.
Theater is not to make money..its for your passion

True...
So?
So what?
Then why can't you get good actors to work for free?
Because....
Because of what?
Because...

Because you have settled your heart on getting ordinary non actors...
So you really feel that since you are not so established, you deserve
very bad actors...

No, its to the case..I just can't get good actors

So your choice is to work with bad actors...
No, its not my choice, its necessity
Why have you created this difficult necessity for yourself?
What else can I do?
You can stop doing your shows
But I need to get my work done
But why in such a poor way?
I don't know
What is it that you don't know?
I don't know what else to do?
You don't have many choices?
No I don't...
But you can make one of the following choices
What are the choices?
Either don't do your plays
or do them with better actors
From where?
If you had more confidence in you you will get actors who have
been on stage before instead of getting people who have never
been under the lights...
If you had more confidence in you people will be lining up to work with you
even without any pay....

Its you and your desperation to get any Tom, Dick or Harry
and put them to fill the roles....

You are embarrassing yourself sweetheart...
Don't fill the roles
Get actors to act them out...no matter how or from where
Get actors who have ability to deliver or just stop doing the plays..............
Do one person plays.....
You do it yourself
You act out the part..............
You...
Do you trust yourself?
Then do it
Do it yourself
Do it alone...
Do one person plays
Write them
And act in them
You do it honey
You do it yourself.