WASTE

WASTE

Wasn't wasteland written by T.'S. ELIOT?

WHAT A WASTEFUL DAY, WHAT A WASTEFUL NIGHT!

WHAT A WASTEFUL DAY, WHAT A WASTEFUL NIGHT!

Every day I say,

I will do this

I will do that

Every day I do the same, nothingness

Next day I say,

I will do this

I will do that

Every day I do the same, nothingness

then the next day I say,

I will do this

I will do that

Tomorrow I will do this

Tomorrow I will do that

Then tomorrow comes

and then...

Then every tomorrow I do the same, nothingness

Then the next day I say,

Tomorrow I will do this

Tomorrow I will do that

Then every tomorrow I do the same, nothingness.............

I wonder what's wrong with me?

I for sure don't know what's wrong with me...

But for sure something is wrong with me

Something hugely important

Something of immense immense importance is wrong with me

Time, the most valuable thing in life

I waste

I waste

I waste

So sad that I can't stop wasting time...

Time which will never come back...

From where ever its been gone

Time, which will never come back...
f the fact that
I waste that time

I wish I will stop

Stop wasting my cherished time

My valuable property

My most important thing in this life

In only one life...

I keep wasting...

I am aware of the fact that I am wasting my time...

But I can't stop...

Oh! how I wish that I would stop

Wasting my time...

But I can't...

It's become an addiction

Like people on their phones

Like people on social media

like people on Instagram

Like the addiction of drugs

Like the addiction of alcohol

I have none of that...

But still waste my time

I don't know how?

But I know I waste a hell of my time

Then I say,

Tomorrow I will do this

Tomorrow I will do that

But then tomorrow I do the same

Nothingness.........

One day I realized that while I was with a very successful business man, a friend...

I realized that I while I was lamenting about the demise of the world, the wars, the persecution,

of innocent people, killings, murders, corruption, political turmoils, climate change, sex trafficing,

hunger in the third world, persecution of Muslims in Kashmir, China, Afghanistan, Western world,

Arab world, poverty, floods, lack of respect for the artist,  every other problem in the world,

HE KEPT COUNTING BUNDLE OF HIS MONEY...JUST NODDING HIS HEAD ONCE IN A

WHILE AS IF HE WAS PAYING ATTENTION TO WAHT I WAS SAYING BUT HE WAS

COMPLETELY OBLIVIOUS ABOUT WHAT I WAS SAYING....

AND I REALIZED HOW I WAS WASTING MY TIME

HOW I HAVE WASTED MY VALUABLE TIME

TIME WHICH WILL NEVER COME BACK

AND HOW I MUST STOP WASTING MY TIME ON PEOPLE LIKE HIM WITH SO MUCH

MONEY...MONEY WHICH COMES EVERY DAY UNLIKE TIME, WHICH NEVER COMES

BACK....MONEY FOR BUSINESS ALWAYS COMING BACK....BUT TALKING TO MONEY

PEOPLE WHOSE CONCERN IS NOTHING BUT MONEY, THAT TIME, TALKING TO THEM

THE MONEY PEOPLE WHO HAVE NO OTHER CONCERN THAN MONEY....

THAT WASTEFUL TIME, THAT PARTICULAR TIME...WHAT A WASTE OF THAT

CHERISHED TIME OF MINE...

THERAPY OF A DREAM PLAY

THERAPY OF A DREAM PLAY

PLACE:  NYC

A BUILDING IN THE EAST VILLAGE

SYBIL JOHNSON:  A PLAYWRIGHT

PAUL:  A NEIGBOR OF SYBIL

TIME:  PRESENT

SET:

A WRITING TABLE ANDA CHAIR CENTER STAGE

A LOVE SEAT UPSTAGE LEFT

LOTS OF BOOKS ON THE FLOOR

A HUGE BAG FULL OF SCRIPTS ON THE FLOOR NEXT TO THE BOOKS

SOME SCRIPTS ON THE TABLE.

A FEW BOKS ON THE TABLE, ONE OF THEM IS BY ALBERT CAMUS

DIRECTIONS:

LIGHTS COME UP

SYBIL WALKS IN...

SEARCHING FROM THE HUGE BAG ON THE FLOOR

THEN GOES TO THE TABLE AND LOOKS AT SOME SCRIPTS

PICK UP CAMUS BOOK AND STARTS TO READ FROM IT.

THERAPY OF A DREAM PLay

THERAPY OF A DEAM PLAY

NOTE BOOK 5

NOTE BOOK 5

"I MUST REJOICE BEYOND THE BOUNDS OF TIME,
THOUGH THE WORLD MAY SHUDDER AT MY JOY,
AND ITS COARSENESS, KNOW NOT WHAT I MEAN"        Jan Van Ruysbroeck

PETRONIUS

'SHREWED OSERVER
MARVELOUS PAINER
DISPASSIONATELY, WITH AN ENTIRE LACK OF PREJUDICE OR ANIMOSITY,
HE DESCRIBES THE EVERY DAY LIFE OF ROME, RECORDING THE MANNERS AND MORALS IN THE LIVELY LITTLE  CHAPTERS OF SATYRICON."      Huysmans

'TALK TO NO ONE
SEE NO ONE
INDULGE NO ONE
THINK OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME BEFORE MAKING ANY COMMITMENTS WITH ANY ONE
WRITE REVIEWS

PLAYS SEEN IN DUBLIN
GLASS MENAGRIE
2417
OVER RIDE
LAUGH
COTTON FINGERS

USE YOUR TIME WELL
LEARN TECH
BUY SMART PHONE

SINCE NO OTHER PAST ADVICE BY ME FOR ME HAS WORKED SO FAR...

THE BRAND NEW ADVICE BY ME FOR MYSELF

"DO ONLY WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO...NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD DO

RIGHT NOW I LIKE TO SIT HERE AND READ INSTEAD OF GOING TO THE MUSEUM

SO DO NOT WORRY ABOUT IT, JUST SIT HERE AT SHELLBOURNE AND READ

MUSEUM CAN WAIT...MUSEUM WILL ALWAYS BE THERE...

YES, BT I WON'T BE HERE IN DUBLIN AND THE MUSEUM I THOUGHT I WOULD LIKE

TO GO TO IS HERE IN DUBLIN...

THEN GO TO THE MUSEUM...

BUT I DON'T FEEL LIKE GOING RIGHT NOW...I FEEL LIKE READING THIS INTERESTING

BOOK..AGAINST NATURE ALSO CALLED THE YELLOW BOOK BY OSCAR WILDE IN HIS
BOOK, PICTURE OF DORIAN GRAY."

THEN JUST READ THE BOOK AND DON'T FEEL BAD ABOUT GOING OR NOT GOING TO

THE MUSEUM...I JUST TOLD YOU EARLIER THAT YOU SHOULD DO WHAT YOU FEEL

LIKE DOING AND NOT DO WHAT YOU SHOULD BE DOING...

ENJOYING YOUR SELF SHOULDN'T BE A DUTY...

RELAX AND ENJOY YOUR TIME THE WAY YOU WANT, THE WAY YOU LIKE...

PUT NO CONDITIONS ON YOUR SELF...

EIHER GET UP AND GO TO THE MUSEUM OR JUST READ YOUR BOOK AND ENJOY

YOURSELF.  I REMEMBER YOU ALWAYS HAVING DIFFICULTY MAKING CHOICES

SINCE SN EARLY AGE...IT REFLECTS SOME KIND OF GUILT..DO YOU HAVE GUILT?

I MUST, SINCE YOU SAY SO AND YOU ARE MY LIFE LONG THERAPIST AND

OBVIOUSLY

NOT A VERY GOOD ONE SINCE I AM THE SAME AND HAVE EXACTLY THE SAME

DIFFICULTIES SINCE MY CHILDHOOD...WHY AM I PAYING YOU?

BUT THATS A JOKE...BECAUSE YOU ARE NOT PAYING ME, YOU HAVE NEVER PAID

ME...ITS LIKE WORKING IN NON PROFIT THEATER...NO PAY...NEVER ANY PAY...WE

ARE NON PROFIT...SO WHY THE FUCK YOU DON'T CLOSE YOUR NON PROFIT

THEATERS?  BECAUSE  WE DO MAKE PROFIT FOR OURSELF, WHAT WE MEAN BY

PROFIT IS THAT WE JUST PAY OURSELVES AND SINCE WE ARE NON PROIT WE CAN'T

PAY ANY ONE ELSE...THATS WHY WE CAN'T CLOSE, WE HAVE A REGULAR CHECK COMING EVERY WEEK...ITS OUR LIVELY HOOD...AND ME?  WHAT ABOUT ME?

WHAT ABOUT YOU?

WHAT ABOUT MY CHECK?

WHO TOLD YOU THAT YOU ARE GOING TO GET A CHECK?

OH! I THOUGHT...

YOU THOUGHT WRONG...WE TOLD YOU, "WE ARE NON -PROFIT, THAT MEANT THAT

YOU WON'T GET A CHECK...ONLY WE WILL GET A CHECK...DO YOU UNDERSTAND?

"OH1 EVERYTHING IS SO CONFUSING HERE IN AMERICA...

"NOTHING IS CONFUSING.  EVERYTHING IS CRYSTAL CLEAR..."PROFIT IS ONLY FOR

AMERICA AND ITS INSTITUTIONS  EVEN IF THEY ARE NON=PROFIT..

"WHY SHOULD YOU CALL IT NON-PROFIT WHEN YOU ARE GETTING PROFIT??

"YOU DON'T UNDERSTAND BECAUSE YOU ARE AN OUTSIDER, YOU ARE NOT AN

AMERICAN...THIS IS HOW IT WORKS HERE, TAKE IT OR LEAVE IT...

I THINK AS YOUR LIFE LONG THERAPIST, YOU SHOULD LEAVE IT...GO SOME PLACE

WHERE YOU GET THE CHECK...

WHERE?

BE IN-CHARGE OF A NON -PROFIT THEATER...

THATS A GOOD ADVICE...BUT I AM OUTSIDER AND ONLY AN AMERICAN CAN BE

IN-CHARGE OF A NON-PROFIT THEATER...

OH! PLEASE, GET OUT OF THIS BULL SHIT THEATER BULL SHIT...

SIT DOWN AND READ YOUR BOOK, THE ONE YOU WEE READING BEFORE YOU

ASKED FOR MY ADVICE...

I NEVER ASKED FOR YOUR ADVICE, YOU JUST KEEP GIVING IT TO ME...YOU ARE THE

MONKEY ON MY BACK...

"I AM A SMART MONKEY, LISTEN TO ME AND YOU WON'T FAIL...

"TOO LATE...

"NEVER TOO LATE IF YOU LISTEN TO ME...

"LET ME REPEAT MYSELF

TALK TO NO ONE

SEE NO ONE

INDULGE NO ONE

THINK OF YOUR PRECIOUS TIME BEFORE YOU MAKE ANY COMMITMENT TO ANY

ONE OR ANYTHING...

"DO WHAT YOU LIKE TO DO AND NOT WHAT YOU SHOULD DO AND I TELL YOU DO

NO THEATER..JUST GO AND GET A CHECK SOMEHOW...

"THEATER IS OUT...CHECK IS IN...AND IF THE CHECK IS NOT IN...THEATER IS STILL

OUT...NOW WHAT WERE WE TALKING ABOUT?"

"I DON'T FEEL LIKE DOING ANYTHING"

"THEN DO NOTHING...ABSOLUTELY NOTHING...IF YOU DO, THE CHECK DOESN'T COME AND IF YOU DON'T DO THE CHECK DOESN'T COME...SO WHAT THE FUCK...DO NOTHING. LISTEN TO YOUR FEELING...YOUR FEELING IS THE ONLY THING WHICH MATTER ESPECIALLY RIGHT NOW AND NOW I AM GOING TO SAY GOOD NIGHT...I NEED REST MYSELF...THERAPISTS NEED SOME SLEEP AS WELL...SEE YOU TOMORROW...REST, GO TO BED...SLEEP IS THE ONLY BALM TO THE CONFUSED...

END OF THERAPY SESSION

BINA SHARI'S NOTE BOOKS CONTINUE

BINA SHARIF'S NOTE BOOKS CONTINUES

SYBIL GOES TO A THERAPIST TO TAKE CARE OF HER DESPAIR.

ADVICE OF A THERAPIST:

THERAPIST:

LIFE IS NOT JUST AN ISOLATED EVENT

IT HAS ITS ELEMENTS

LIFE'S VICTORIES AND DEFEATS, AILMENTS,

HEALTH, SICKNESS,, ACHIEVEMENTS, HEARTACHES,

 DEATH EVEN...

UNPREDICTABLY OF THE NEXT MOMENT...

ANYTHING CAN HAPPEN.

YOU CAN'T CONTROL YOUR LIFE FULLY

NOTHING CAN BE AVOIDED...

IT WILL HAPPEN IF ITS SUPPOSE TO HAPPEN

DOESN'T MEAN THAT ONE CAN'T BE OPTIMISTIC

OPTIMISTIC AT LEAST SOME TIME...

YES, POSITIVE THINKING IS GOOD

POSITIVE THINKING IS A PLUS FOR SURE...

BUT EVERY MOMENT IS NOT IN THE THINKING

ITS IN ITS ACTION...

MOMENT IS MOBILE

ITS NOT STILL

ITS NOT SITTING AND THINKING

ITS NOT AN INTELLECTUAL TRYING TO FIGURE OUT THE

MEANINGLESS LIFE...

ITS ACTION BASED

AND ITS ACTION IS A SECRET.

SECRET FROM ALL OF US.

NO ONE KNOWS WHERE THE NEXT MOMENT WILL LEAD US...

WE, OF COURSE WANT IT TO LEAD US TO VICTORIES,

WEALTH, PERFECT HEALTH, FAME, ENTERTAINMENT, FORTUNE

BUT HOW CAN IT BE SO PERFECT, THE MOMENT i MEAN?
THIS WORLD'S
HOW CAN ONE PREDICT THAT ALMOST PERFECT MOMENT

WON'T LEAD US TO A HOSPITAL BECAUSE OF AN UN-FORTUNATE ACCIDENT?

SUDDEN ILLNESS, A CRASH, FAILURE, DISAPPOINTMENTS?

THE WHOLE LIFE CAN CHANGE IN THT FUTURISTIC MOMENT...

ONE NEVER WISHES FOR THAT MISFORTUNE...

ONE EXPECTS TO BE SAFE, HAPPY, SUCCESSFUL.

BUT WE ARE LINKED TO THE FATE OF THE UNIVERSE. LIKE CAMUS SAID...

ALBERT CAMUS, THE GREAT PHILOSOPHER AND WRITER SAID,

"KNOWING THAT THERE ARE NO VICTORIOUS CAUSES,

I HAVE A LIKING FOR LOST CAUSES.

THEY REQUIRE AN UN-CONTAMINATED SOUL EQUAL

TO ITS DEFEAT AND ITS TEMPORARY VICTORIES.

THIS WORLD'S CLASH OF CIVILIZATION HAS

SOMETHING AGONIZING ABOUT IT.

I HAVE MADE THAT ANGUISH MINE."     Camus

SO ACCORDING TO CAMUS, WE ARE ALL LINKED TO THE WORLD

AND THE WORLD HAS MANY ILLS IN IT...

WARS, TORTURE, POVERTY, INJUSTICE, DISEASE

KILLINGS, BRUTALITY, CLASH OF CIVILIZATION AND THATS HOW

THE UN-PREDICTABILITY OF THE MOMENT IS LINKED TO ALL THE THINGS

HAPPENING IN THE WORLD.

WHEN ONE TRIPS ON AN UNEVEN FOOTPATH, THE OBSTACLES OF URBAN LIVING.

THAT TRIPPING IS LINKED TO THE FATE OF THE WORLD.

THE LEADER OF THE WORLD WHERE ONE TRIPPED HAS NOT FIXED THE FOOTPATH

FOOTPATH OF THE CITY AND THE COUNTRY HE RULES.

HE LEAVES IT UPTO YOU TO BE CAREFUL.

HOW CAREFUL ONE CAN BE WHEN THE PATHS WHERE YOU ARE SUPPOSED TO WALK

TO GO HOME SAFE IS FULL OF CRACKS, HOLES, ROUGH EDGES, ALL CAUSES OF

TRIPPING...UNEVEN EDGES WHICH ARE THERE BUT CAN'T BE SEEN...

UNTILL YOU HAVE TRIPPED. FALLEN, BROKEN SOME BONES, AND TAKEN TO

THE HOSPITAL...

YOUR FATE IS NOW LINKED TO THE UN-EVEN, ROTTEN, UNFIXED, NEGLECTED

SIDEWALK WHICH NEEDED URGENT REPAIRS BUT THE LEADER OF THE CITY

NEVER BOTHERED TO FIX IT....

DID YOU WANT TO FALL?

DID YOU WANT TO BREAK YOUR BONES?

WAS IT IN YOUR CONTROL TO FALL OR NOT TO FALL?

YES, OR NO?

DID YOU NOT KEEP YOUR EYES GLUED TO THE GROUND FOR EVERY UN-EVEN,

BROKEN SECTION OF THE FOOTPATH OR YOU KEPT LOOKING UP ALL ALONG?

ITS YOUR FAULT IF YOU DIDN'T COUNT ALL THE RAISED EDGES WHILE WALKING

ITS YOUR FAULT FOR LOOKING UP AT THE TREES AND NOT AT THE GROUND

WHILE WALKING...

BUT IF YOU NEVER LOOKED UP AND CONCENTRATED ON THE HOLES IN THE

FOOTPATH YOU MIGHT HAVE BEEN HIT BY THE MAN HOLDING HIS iPHONE

WHO NEVER LOOKED UP FROM HIS SCREEN....

HE SURE WILL BUMP INTO YOU AND POKE HIS ELBOW IN YOUR EYE

AND YOU WOULD HAVE TO BE TAKEN TO THE HOSPITAL WHERE THE DOCTOR

AFTER TAKING YOUR CO-PAY IN CASE YOU ARE INSURED WILL CLODLY DECLARE

THAT YOU HAVE LOST YOUR EYE...AND ITS YOUR FAULT BECAUSE YOU WERE

NOT CAREFUL...

BUT THE AMAZING THING IS THAT THE MAN GLUED TO THE SCREEN OF HIS iPHONE

UN-AWARE OF THER'S EXISTENCE IS ALSO PART OF THE FATE OF THE WORLD.

THE WORLD WHICH HAS RUTHLESS, GREEDY, SELFISH LEADERS, SELF ABSORBED

SELF LOVING PEOPLE WALKING AROUND OBLIVIOUS OF ANY CURTSEY, AND THE

BROKEN DOWN CIVILIZATION,  HORROR OF RACISM, RELIGIOUS WARS,

BROKEN DOWN ROADS ON TOP OF THAT, THE ROADS WHICH ARE SUPPOSED TO TAKE

YOU SAFELY TO YOUR VERY UN-SAFE APTS.

HOW CAN ONE LIVE IN THE WORLD AND NOT BE CONNECTED TO IT?

SO YOUR ANGUISH,, YOUR DESPAIR, YOUR DEPRESSION, YOUR SORROW, YOUR

SADNESS, YOUR SENSE OF LOSS OF CONTROL OVER YOUR LIFE IS NOT  YOUR FAULT

ITS ACTUALLY THE FAULT OF THE WORLD, THE WORLD WHICH HAS FAILED YOU

AT EVERY MOMENT OF YOUR LIFE.

SO YOUR ANGUISH, YOUR DISAPPOINTMENTS,  YOUR DESPAIR CAN NOT BE TREATED

BECAUSE ITS NT YOURS ALONE...ITS THE DESPAIR OF THE WORLD, ITS THE DESPAIR

CAUSED BY THE EVIL WORLD AND YOU DON'T HAVE ENOUGH DOLLARS TO PAY ME

TO CURE THE CURE THE ILLNESS CAUSED BY THE CHAOS, ANGUISH AND DESPAIR

OF  THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD.

AND FOR THAT KIND OF HUGE TREATMENT THE BILL WILL BE HUGE AS WELL.

SO WHEN YOU HAVE SOME ACESS TO A BILLION DOLLARS AND YOU ARE STILL

ALIE, COME BACK AND SEE ME SOMETIME...

THE WHOLE FUCKING WORLD